Hi guys! I hope you all had a restful, restorative weekend. I feel very loved and appreciated and supported and sustained by the warmth and constancy of your internet friendship, and thank you for all of your words and GIFs and emojis on Friday. The Daily Dot did a great roundup. I am moved by you, but not humbled, bc that makes no sense and is a silly thing to say when obviously you mean ENNOBLED. Let’s get to the links.
The Dutch Prime Minister is a Robert Caro stan:
In the front seat of the car sat the prime minister of the Netherlands.
“Hi, I’m Mark,” said the prime minister, Mark Rutte.
Mr. Rutte and his friend Koen Petersen, a historian and coffee company executive, had invited Mr. Caro to lunch last year and asked if he would someday show them some sights from the book. They said they visited the city every year with a copy of “The Power Broker.”
“We’re like groupies,” Mr. Rutte said.
At the peak of her powers — back in the mid-’70s, when she was essentially practicing therapy on stars while millions watched — Rona Barrett drove around Hollywood in a Rolls-Royce with a license plate that read MS RONA, the nickname she’d picked up when she first started delivering Hollywood tidbits at the end of the ABC evening news. She wore miniature heels for her size 5 feet and massive minks on her 5-foot frame, crowned with a layered bob (“like an artichoke”) dyed platinum silver.
Her 1974 memoir, Miss Rona, had sold over half a million copies, in part due to its irresistible lede: “Just an inch, Miss Rona, just let me put it in an inch!” Barrett attributed the come-on to a “major masculine Hollywood star,” and rumors swirled as to his identity. It couldn’t be Frank Sinatra, who’d taken to calling Barrett horrible names at every concert — or Love Story star Ryan O’Neal, who’d sent Barrett a live tarantula. Some guessed it was her neighbor, Kirk Douglas, whose Hollywood estate backed up onto hers. But Barrett would never confirm. Sparking that sort of speculation was what Barrett did best: Every broadcast was an invitation to join her in the campiest, dirtiest game in town.
go fuck yourself, John:
Check out the Nebula Awards results!
Earlier tonight, the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America handed out the Nebula Award in Chicago, and this year women have swept one of science fiction’s biggest awards.
This year’s Nebula Award Banquet toastmaster was actor John Hodgeman, who opened the show with a fun performance of ‘Radio SFWA’, pitched his own novel idea, A Feast for Bros and lamented the lack of genre NPR shows such as Car Talk: Fury Road.
The science fiction world has had its share of drama with the Hugo Awards as various slates have worked aggressively to push against the growing numbers of women and people of color appearing on award ballots. The Nebula Awards have demonstrated, for two years in a row, that science fiction and fantasy literature remains a strong, inclusive body of literature.
Nina Bernstein on Hart Island (see also this Awl piece by Chris Arnade):
New York is unique among American cities in the way it disposes of the dead it considers unclaimed: interment on a lonely island, off-limits to the public, by a crew of inmates. Buried by the score in wide, deep pits, the Hart Island dead seem to vanish — and so does any explanation for how they came to be there.
To reclaim their stories from erasure is to confront the unnoticed heartbreak inherent in a great metropolis, in the striving and missed chances of so many lives gone by. Bad childhoods, bad choices or just bad luck — the chronic calamities of the human condition figure in many of these narratives. Here are the harshest consequences of mental illness, addiction or families scattered or distracted by their own misfortunes.
But if Hart Island hides individual tragedies, it also obscures systemic failings, ones that stack the odds against people too poor, too old or too isolated to defend themselves. In the face of an end-of-life industry that can drain the resources of the most prudent, these people are especially vulnerable.
Indeed, this graveyard of last resort hides wrongdoing by some of the very individuals and institutions charged with protecting New Yorkers, including court-appointed guardians and nursing homes. And at a time when many still fear a potter’s field as the ultimate indignity, the secrecy that shrouds Hart Island’s dead also veils the city’s haphazard treatment of their remains.
This thread:
Racist monster is also sexist monster:
The New York Times interviewed dozens of women who had worked with or for Mr. Trump over the past four decades, in the worlds of real estate, modeling and pageants; women who had dated him or interacted with him socially; and women and men who had closely observed his conduct since his adolescence. In all, more than 50 interviews were conducted over the course of six weeks.
Their accounts — many relayed here in their own words — reveal unwelcome romantic advances, unending commentary on the female form, a shrewd reliance on ambitious women, and unsettling workplace conduct, according to the interviews, as well as court records and written recollections. The interactions occurred in his offices at Trump Tower, at his homes, at construction sites and backstage at beauty pageants. They appeared to be fleeting, unimportant moments to him, but they left lasting impressions on the women who experienced them.
It’s a shame that popcorn isn’t allowed in the grand theaters of Cannes, because if ever a movie called for binge eating out of a tub, eyes riveted to the screen, it’s Park Chan-Wook’s The Handmaiden (French title:Madamoiselle), which jolted awake every bleary-eyed reporter at its packed debut screening Saturday morning. An adaptation of Welsh author Sarah Waters’s kinky, award-winning 2002 historical crime novelFingersmith set in Victorian England, Park moves the action to 1930s Korea under Japanese colonialism, where class and tradition still loomed large, but a rich family could flaunt status by having electricity — which plays a dramatic role in the movie — in their big homes.
prince return to us:
He pressed a button and off we went. There were two cracks of thunder followed by clapping and girls’ voices singing, “We will rock you.” We sat there for the next eleven minutes and fifty seconds taking it all in. Audio only. While we were listening, he wheeled around the suite doing this or that. Towards the end—when “Purple Rain” was playing—he wheeled back in carrying a box of tissues and, without a word or explanation, gave each of us one from the box. Taking our cues from him we all held our tissues aloft in our hands wondering what exactly was coming next.
The music ended and there was an awkward silence as no one was sure what to say. We looked at him and he stared back at us holding his own tissue, with a penetrating expression on his face. He placed the tissue up to his eye and it appeared he was starting to cry. Just as things couldn’t get more uncomfortable, he broke out in a very big smile and started to laugh. “It brings a tear to your eye,” he said.
The following are all comments left on the possum piece, likely by possums:
Please enjoy Gwyneth Paltrow’s list of sex toys which of course features a 24K gold dildo.
Also, deleted commenter who compared making fun of possums to Trump?
I had no idea there was so much possum feels on the internet.
I could literally make that Agent Provocateur whip while watching TV. Because I have. And they want how much for it??
$500 plus. Because Gwyneth understands the wants and needs of the populace
She is a woman of the people!
‘A discreet vibrating necklace that turns into nipple clamps’
Just what I’ve been looking for.
Shocking number of people out there who evidently look at an article that includes the words ‘endealment’ and ‘cratchle-scrabble’ pause and then go “Face value. I should def take this at face value and also get angry at a stranger.”
Also, I am appalled at the deleted poster who suggested possums, unlike Mallory, are an integral part of the ecosystem. Mallorys are crucial to keeping healthy levels of mirth in our nations streams, are important to the functioning of the nitrogen cycle, and definitely eat way more ticks than any possum ever could. Plus without them the troll population would be entirely out of hand.
Also also: “the words you are sending are not good.”
Sick burn.
Also also also: the positive qualities of possums were discussed in the comments, so the endealment of possums has received an adequate defense.
Ahahahaha, oh, John, the internet is bigger than your subreddit.
I’m going to need more specificity than “paid-for content.” Does he mean we should have a Star Trek-style economy in which money no longer exists because We Are Above It All?
If we could make that happen, I am ALL for it.
Toast Post Summer Care Package Exchange!
If you would like to participate, please email the following info to toastsummerexchange(at)gmail(dot)com:
-Your name and address
-Your username here, if you’d like to share it
-Care package preferences/interests
-Any allergies that might be applicable
-Oh, please note if you’re okay mailing internationally
I’m thinking a small box of care package items such as snacks, books, fun bath products, stickers… If you send me your info, I will match you with another person.
I already have eight people signed up, yay!
Oh, thank you for organizing this! I’m going to need it.
You’re welcome. I’m excited! I already bought some “toast with peach jam”-shaped soaps on Etsy this weekend for whoever my eventual exchange partner is.
I would be so into this, but I will definitely struggle to actually do it and some poor person will end up with a crocheted flower and a half eaten box of Tesco’s Finest chocolate.
I’ve literally only managed to get two postcards in the post today for Toast post.
To be perfectly honest, a half-eaten box of Tesco’s Finest chocolate would actually still outshine most American chocolate.
This is true. To the Tesco reduced section I go!
(Although fyi when I say half eaten, I do not mean I have eaten half the box. I mean I have eaten half of each chocolate in the box, cause you have to try them all or you don’t know which ones you like enough to eat. STILL BETTER THAN HERSHEYS.)
So long as you include notes about which ones are which flavors, I’m fine with that.
I’d be so happy with that, you have no idea.
thanks for organizing this! i’m sending you an email now
This sounds like a fine idea, although for some reason I’m feeling anxious about what to include in a care package… like I would inevitably let down whoever I was supposed to send to. Anxiety pops up in the weirdest ways.
Hm. If you want, I could match you with someone who’s given very clear preferences. Do you think that would help?
What a lovely idea! Will email, and couldn’t care less if I get a half-eaten package of chips and a handful of expired coupons–the point is in the exchange for me.
Ooooh yay! Just sent my long rambling info – maybe should have waited until I was slightly more coherent (I just woke up) but was too excited to wait. Thanks for making this happen! (and if you need an angel, I can be on that list, in case there’s trouble and someone doesn’t get a package they were expecting. just let me know.)
This sounds amazing! I just sent an email and am already thinking about all the local goodies I could buy!
This is so neat! Thank you for this!
YAY I just emailed you!
Oooh, how cool! Information sent! Thank you for organizing this.
OMG YES YES YES. I’m emailing you right now!!
very excited!
Amazing!
Just emailed you, so incredibly excited for this 🙂
I’m so excited for this, I may already have a list going of things to include. Bwahahahaha…
I’m already planning my package (lots of French chocolate and crafty crap, for the moment).
Yay! Just emailed, belatedly.
I am also kinda thinking that a ToastPost book swap might need to happen at some point…or local meetups around swapping books. I have so many that I must at some point accept that I am not going to read or reread and should pass along.
Hurray! I sent an email. 😀
Thanks, this is a great idea!
Oh, this sounds lovely! I’m moving hemispheres this summer so signing up probably isn’t a good idea for me, unfortunately. Would love to participate if this happens again in the future!
Emailing you RIGHT NOW. Thank you for setting this up!
WHOLLY SHIT TWIT
Here are a few depressing pieces which I read today and which made me really angry about the fact that access to contraception and abortion is not universal (it really should be! And sex education needs to be better, and men need to not treat women and girls like shit). http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/in-pictures-36277031 http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/may/16/unsafe-sex-girls-health-feminism-sexual-trend-young-people
On a lighter note, an interview with Geri Horner (formerly Halliwell): http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/may/…
“Confusion abounds from the moment I meet Geri Horner, the artist formerly known as Geri Halliwell, or Ginger Spice, or the one who invented Girl Power and pinched Prince Charles’s bum. We are introduced, and she says my name is lovely, “like Sophie’s Choice!”. I laugh and mutter about it not being all that lovely really, the film where Sophie’s choice is which of her two children will be gassed at Auschwitz. “Mmmm, but Robert de Niro,” says Horner cheerily, while having her lip gloss applied by a makeup artist, even though De Niro isn’t in it.”
From the Zoe Williams piece: “One programme in Louisiana listed the disadvantages of pre-marital sex as (among about 90 others): “Pregnancy, fear of pregnancy, Aids, guilt, disappointing parents, inability to concentrate on school, syphilis, embarrassment, infertility, loneliness, cervical cancer, loss of reputation, being used, suicide, loss of honesty, jealousy, depression, death.”” As someone who has been having pre-marital sex (is it pre-marital if you have no real intention of getting married?) for seven years (with the same person), I can honestly state that the vast majority of these have never come into it. (That said, I DID get diagnosed with depression about six months after starting to have sex, so maybe I am just deluding myself.)
I was not going to read that Geri Horner/Halliwell piece, but now I’m sold.
I have definitely seen a boutique somewhere in France called either Sophie’s Choice or Le Choix de Sophie.
There are “Sophie’s Choice” brand pierogies sold in Cleveland (with a smiling picture of a pierogi on them):
A late question for anyone reading the Link Roundup: Which Spice Girl Were You??
There was much vying in my friendship group over who got to be Sporty, though I was secretly always ok with Posh. I never felt cool enough for Ginger or Scary, and no one wanted to be Baby.
It was the opposite for me, no one wanted to be Sporty (I was Sporty)
I have red hair, so the choice is made for me.
I had no idea the power and passion of the possum fandom.
I could not even read the possum piece, the cover photo freaked me out so much and I am still having problems with it since it is so popular it is still showing up over on the side. And I thought I hated raccoons.
Me too! I wanted to comment immediately on how much I’m terrified of them but i couldn’t make it to the article. I can barely look at them. I pretend that article does not exist.
we have awoken a sleeping giant
Yeah but that giant is just 100 possums in a big coat.
‘just’, like it’d be possible to imagine a more terrifying giant
It was playing dead this whole time.
I have to say, I worry that the possum kerfuffle is a distraction from the very real threat posed by raccoons. When we fight over possums, who wins? Raccoons, that’s who.
I think you’re really on to something here. Raccoons are amazingly intelligent. It wouldn’t surprise me if the kerfluffle over possums is just a red herring as they gather their strength.
Can you imagine what will happen when raccoonkind and the octopus world join forces? Humans will be but a distant memory.
Gotta say, the last one, raiser-of-opossum-orphans, is inappropriately sincere but perhaps not deserving of deletion? I’m guessing it was the word ‘ignorant’ that did it, but I’d say Mallory is gleefully and defiantly ignorant of the ways of possums, so it’s not really wrong….
I would like this on record here: as I was walking to the bus to come home, there was a huge foofaraw in front of the UCLA hospital entailing the complete shutdown of traffic on Westwood Blvd within campus. Naturally, I wanted to look up what was happening. Couldn’t find anything online. Finally thought to turn on the TV when I got home (turned out to be a suspicious package on the sidewalk.) BUT, the story that was up just as the TV turned on? A woman lifted her toilet lid and found a possum swimming in the bowl. This, my friends, is some high-grade Jungian/Toastian synchronicity.
A bit of OT business:
Reminder: want to participate in THE VERY LAST Toastie mix CD swap?
Email Figwiggin at (figwiggin)at(gmail)dot(com) with your name/username, mailing address, whether you’re willing to ship internationally, and any info you’d like your swap partner to have (i.e. “make me a mixtape about Dirtbag Teens” or “I hate Eddie Vedder” etc.). She and I will match you with a swap partner, and you’ll get a cool mix to call your own and cherish forever.
I like music. I like making mix cd’s. I like Toasties. I like this idea!
Yesssssssssssssss……… Didn’t miss it!
ALL THE SWAPS!
(sending info pronto.)
Today in (Feminist) History! [Archive]
On this day in 1718 was the birth of Maria Gaetana Agnesi; the first woman to write a mathematics handbook, and the first woman made a Mathematics Professor at a University (though it’s unclear whether she ever taught a class). Born to a wealthy family in Milan, with a number of siblings, she was recognized as a child prodigy at a young age. By age five she could speak Italian and French, and by age eleven she could also speak Hebrew, Spanish, Latin, Greek, and German, and was referred to as the “Seven-Tongued Orator”. At only nine years old, she wrote an hour-long speech about the right of women to be educated, and delivered it to a group of the time’s most distinguished intellectuals.
Her father began to gather a group of learned men in his home and from the age of fifteen Maria, who had moved on to also studying geometry and ballistics, would be put on display before the men, answering complex philosophical questions. Her father eventually published Propositiones Philosophicae in 1738, as a record of her last performance before the group, where she defended 190 theses. Maria, however, was very shy and hated these meetings, even asking for them to stop so she could become a nun, but her father refused. Regardless, she never married, and devoted much of her life to mathematics, and to the care of her younger siblings– she had 21.
Disappointed by the math texts available to her siblings to study from, Maria began her own, which was eventually published in 1748, under the name Instituzioni analitiche ad uso della gioventù italiana (Analytical Institutions for the Use of Italian Youth). Her textbook is apparently the earliest surviving math text written by a woman, and was translated into French and English. It is known for including her study on a mathematical curve originally studied by Fermet and Grandi, who named it “versoria” in Latin (a nautical term), and “versiera” in Italian (which means “she-devil” or “witch”). After Maria Gaetana Agnesi’s work on it, it became known as the “Witch of Agnesi”.
For writing her textbook, she was honored by both Empress Maria Theresa, and Pope Benedict XIV, as well as being elected to the Bologna Academy of Sciences– which included a faculty post, making her the first woman Math Professor. She is also well known for being a humanitarian, working in Milan with ill and homeless people until her death in 1799.
Also on this day…
• In 1920, Joan of Arc was canonized in the Roman Catholic Church by Pope Benedict XV. (I made a post about her before, but I want to highly recommend a book about her and Yolande of Aragon that I just read: The Maid and the Queen.)
• In 2005, The National Assembly of Kuwait passed a law allowing women to vote and run for office.
What a fascinating lady. Her father sounded like a bit of a bully though 🙁
Apparently he had a real complex about being rich/well known/etc, and really wanted to be a member of the aristocracy, and so he really liked to show off as part of his attempt to get an ~in~. Her other sister, Maria Theresa, used to be made to perform music in front of his groups, too. She was a composer, which is also cool.
1) Young woman has impressive skill set and dedication.
2) A Man exploits them and makes her miserable.
repeat ad infinitum ad nauseam
So are you going to post these in r/ToastCrumbs or on the Twitters or just on your blog? Links, please, because these are awesome.
I haven’t decided! I’m still a bit afraid of Reddit tbh, but I may post them there once the site closes, I’m ruminating on it. I am also thinking about doing a Tiny Letter though? (I am a very indecisive Libra.)
Thank you for making me aware of this subreddit. I have already subscribed and am two pages into the top posts.
This is one of my favorites yet! I want a time-travel machine to exist so she and Malala can meet.
Hey, I’m the person who called about moving to Oregon 2 weeks ago. Could I please get the invite for the oregon toasties group? I made a FB but I didn’t want to fully commit to face and picture stealing robots so I made it for my cat. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100012256…
Hello! Today is my birthday! I almost always have shit birthdays and this is no exception, I have a cold sore and I have to drive three hours to an airport to arrive at my destination at 1130. Followed by a day of worthless meetings and a 7am flight Wednesday. My husband has promised me cake when I get back.
Also, you know, general weepiness.
Happy birthday! I am sorry it is shit; can you take comfort in knowing that at least you have that in common with Buffy Summers?
Thank you! And yes, I am always up for commiseration with fictional characters!
Happy Birthday! I hope you can find some small moments of non-shittiness amongst the shit, and that you at least have a killer playlist for your drive.
I find focusing on Future Cake to be an excellent morale booster.
Thank you! I have Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince to listen to, so I’m pretty psyched!
Is your username from Horse and His Boy? Aravis is a serious Queen.
It is indeed!
Aravis has always been my favourite Narnia character and you are one of my favourite Toastie commenters, so Happy Birthday!!!
well happy birthday anyway
Thanks! There will be a cookie.
Happy birthday, and good luck! Best wishes for your trip.
Thank you! I am all set with audiobooks and snacks at least.
Happy birthday!! (even with meetings and general weepiness) — here’s to cake and a promising new year!!
Thank you! Gif game on POINT.
It’s your birthday, you’re getting Anne GIFs!
Happy Birthday! Sorry about the shitness- enjoy the cake though. CAKE.
Thank you! I can’t wait for cake.
Happy birthday! I hope your journey goes well, and the cold sore gets better, and that there will be sun and happiness where you are.
Thank you! Absurdly the weather is beautiful at home and cold and wet where I’m headed.
Happy birthday! I hope your week improves.
Thank you! It must.
Happy birthday anyway!!! Maybe they’ll give you a free drink on your flight if you tell them it’s your birthday. Oooh, or upgrade you! Fingers crossed.
Thank you! I didn’t even think about that but I hope so!
Thanks!
Happy Birthday! I am a fellow person with a pattern of bad birthdays and thus make a point of having low birthday expectations.
My birthday is Sunday, and yesterday I was at a family brunch because my cousin was in from CA, with his girlfriend we all met for the first time, which was a bit depressing for me as is, because he managed to meet someone on tinder who he’s living with now whereas I can’t get anyone on dating apps to reply to a message.
My grandmother started walking out of the kitchen with cookies and a mini-cake and singing and I shut it down. I literally just kept saying “NO,” until she stopped singing but then she said “just blow out the candle!” which led to more of me saying “NO” and shaking my head vigorously until that nonsense was over.
Thanks! Yeah, birthdays can suck.
Happy Birthday! May your cake be as glorious as this business trip is shit.
Thank you! I hope so too!
THAT IS AMAZING.
I’m making a note here: GREAT SUCCESS
Happy Birthday! May this be the last in the “shit birthday” pattern.
I love it.
It seemed fitting. 😉
Happy Birthday!
Thanks!
Happy birthday! I hope everything that can go smoothly does.
Here is a gif of a dog eating some cake.
Thank you! That dog looks so pleased to have some cake.
happy birthday dear one! i hope all is well when you climb out on the other side of this and have a cake waiting for you. also a marching band. you deserve it!
Thank you! A marching band sounds boss!
Your birthday is happening while there is still a The Toast! That in itself is something to celebrate! Also, I hope it gets better and that the cake is (and for some reason this is coming out in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice) fantastic.
You are 100% correct on that point! And thank you!
Happy birthday!
Thanks!
Happy Birthday – condolences on the suckiness.
When you mentioned arriving at your destination at 1130, I read that as a year. Best of luck in your time travels.
Thank you! Unfortunately I left my copy of The Time Travellers Guide to Medieval England at home so I’ll be totally at sea when I get there.
Happy birthday!!
My new goal in life is to be that cat.
oh sweetie – birthday hugs and all the sympathy for having to fly and be in useless business meetings for your birthday. Your husband is doing the correct thing to have cake for you. I owe my younger daughter Alice cake for her 18th which is today and which she is resolutely ignoring as hard as she can. She says you do not actually have to have a birthday you don’t want, and I will second that.
Happy birthday to her! I have no real memories of my 18th birthday but I’m going to assume it sucked.
My birthday is in February, the time of ice and snow and windchills, and I too have developed low expectation for birthdays.
I wish you all the best. Here’s to unexpected good things.
Thanks! February is a HARD MONTH, you are a trooper.
I’m sorry your day promises to be less than is befitting a queen but HAPPY BIRTHDAY from a well-wishing fellow Toastie <3
Thank you!
Happy birthday! I hope your trip goes quickly and you cake is delicious.
Thank you!
Happy May 16 birthday buddy! I hope the cake is majestic and delicious and you are showered with the love and respect you deserve.
Happy birthday to you too! I hope your day is delightful!
Thank you! Flowers and lunch with friends were in fact delightful, and after work I will happily go to bed at 7 pm.
Hamiltoasties! Lin-Manual Miranda is giving the Commencement address at Penn today! You can catch it on webcast at: http://www.upenn.edu/commencement/webcast.html. The actual ceremony starts at 10:15am ET, I’m guessing his speech will be around 11am ET, but don’t quote me on that. (Also, my boss is letting me livestream it from my desk, because my boss is awesome.)
Listening to the band play in my headphones right now while I do other things is kind of great, actually.
Just watched it! I cried and took notes. Fucking awesome. Thank you for posting the link – I would never have known!
~We’ll tell the story of tonight~
I am HERE for a 145-minute period-bent adaptation of Fingersmith. BRB, looking to see if/when it’s playing near me ever.
I am glad to see that like any self-respecting lesbian revenge thriller, this film features ‘a prominent octopus’. Does the octopus live inside the house? Will it consume the villain? I am very intrigued.
My one criticism of the novel would probably have been how there were no octopii, so I”m glad that problem has been solved.
Let’s just hope the octopus’ fate in this movie is better than that in Oldboy.
I feel like I read somewhere (maybe Autostraddle?) that they toned down the lesbian content. I’m waiting for a review from a queer reviewer before I get too excited.
I don’t want to ruin the ending, but do you think that’s what they meant by “toned down the lesbian content” (that the ending might be different)? Because it sounds like the sex scene is still very present and very repeated?
Found it – a comment on Autostraddle referenced this Variety article about the director.
“Park explains that his screenplay has introduced several important innovations to the novel. The secret mystery linked to the birth of the two main female characters no longer features in the story and the role of the male character – who serves as an intermediary between the two women – assumes much greater importance. The helmer says that his story is essentially about “two females and a male.”
The film was originally planned under the same name as the novel, but Park explains that after showing his first draft to the author, they agreed to change the title: “When I showed the script to Sarah Waters she said that she thought that it’s a good screenplay, but is significantly different from her novel and would therefore appreciate it if we could say “inspired by” instead of “based on” the novel. That’s when we agreed to change the title.””
Hmmmmmm…
I’m most confused by “the secret mystery linked to the birth of the two main female characters no longer features in the story” because then… why? How? What’s the point?
I am a bit worried about what they will do with the lesbian content as well (which, lol [not at you, just at the term] at “lesbian content” because…it’s based off a Sarah Waters novel? so….isn’t the entire thing lesbian content?).
BUT, as an avid connoisseuse of Korean media, I will say that any portrayal of lesbianism (and the article makes clear that viewers understand that the two women are in love) is a big stride forward. I mean, this is a country where the Korea Communications Standards Commission launched disciplinary proceedings against a K-drama because it showed two women kissing. So to have the most lauded director in Korea unabashedly showing a lesbian relationship is pretty cool.
According toVariety the director said that he made the male character more important and that Park ‘says that his story is essentially about “two females and a male.”’
So we’ll see. It is kind of amazing that he’s even heard of Sarah Waters, let alone adapted one of her books.
I once read an ENTIRE SARAH WATERS NOVEL with NO LESBIANS and was seriously disappointed. Where were they? What was this?! I felt awfully confused.
Could you see any clues as to when it will be out?
IMDB has its French release date as October 5, 2016. I couldn’t find out when Amazon Studios will release it in the U.S.
I got to believe that those comments were left by raccoons, trying to throw us off the trail, it’s hard to believe that possums could have this organized an internet presence.
I think it’s entirely possible that John may be a possum, though.
Here’s my theory: possums and raccoon are locked in a cold war for garbage supremacy. Raccoons, because they are horrible, horrible opportunists and have creepy little people hands, have been going through garbage cans and using what they find inside to blackmail people or steal identities. Then, they’re using money generated from thier little crime rings to hire lobbyists to wage a proxy war on the internet against the possums. Possums, however, have gone around the gross corner so much that they’re starting to run into the cute area of gross, and thus are relying on poor, deluded citizens to advocate on their behalf on the internet.
So really, both sides are using people as their pawns. WAKE UP SHEEPLE.
And the squirrels are quietly waiting for the two groups to destroy each other, at which point they will be free to run amok and assert their true dominance.
as is right and good
tucks tail behind her
j’accuse!
I feel like that would make for a highly entertaining web comic???
I have been seeing possums as roadkill instead of the usual raccoons more often recently. Coincidence? Doubtful.
possums have TINY little brain pans, which is why they haven’t made the technological leap to using information they find in the trash instead of just eating it.
I grew up in the woods, and always raccoons or possums were coming on the porch to steal cat food. But never both at once! They’d pretty much alternate years. Because they cannot abide one another, I assume!
THIS!
Chicago toasts not on Facebook: there is an upcoming Ruby on Rails workshop for women and non binary people, if you are interested: https://www.bridgetroll.org/events/266
Guys, I can’t figure out how to link on my phone, but check out one of the short stories up for/possibly winner of the Hugo, what do I know, reading it wiped all other knowledge out of my head. It’s called “Hungry Daughters of Starving Mothers” and all my normal science fiction discussion buddies are being obstinately male about it. Read it, tell me about your feelings.
Well maybe people would like to read it online at NIGHTMARE MAGAZINE I know I would
http://www.nightmare-magazine.com/fiction/hungry-…
Woah SO GOOOOOOD
Yes precisely.
Here’s the link: http://www.nightmare-magazine.com/fiction/hungry-…
It is such a great story, so glad it won the Nebula. Everything I’ve read by Alyssa Wong has been excellent. She’s up for the Campbell Award at the Hugos this year, and I’m hoping she wins it (very likely since Puppies ruined the rest of the ballot).
She won the Hugo for it!!
omggggg reading that was one of my weekend joys, even though it gave me the Serious Creeps, and sci-fi/horror isn’t my normal genre, but it was so compelling from start to finish. It inspired me to take up short fiction again.
I don’t even understand how one could overlook the seriously cool “woman who literally consumes on the evil thoughts of others, but also doesn’t want to hurt anyone” premise for any reasons, let alone “male” ones.
Or the fact that it’s entirely about craving and seeking love while feeling like you’re a horrible monster who doesn’t deserve it, and how ultimately that hurts both you and the person(s) who would love you.
Also wtf with this review I read that described it as having “a slight Asian flare”. Four out of six named characters are Asian women!
What does “obstinately male” about this story look like? I’m curious.
I like the tension between satiation and horror.
I got fewer responses than I would expect from my science fiction sharing friends, and the two I did got felt like it was really creepy to have to empathize with a monster like that. Also there were no men who were not objects, that was hard for my friends.
Oh wow I just read it and it was ah-maz-ing and how does a writer live with stories like that in her head and like omg and holy shit was that super amazing and fucked up and wow.
this was pretty good but I don’t understand why dudes would have anything to be male about with it, there’s only like one dude in the entire story
For the Sad Puppy type reader, a story that focuses so squarely on women and their experiences is enough to inspire a masculinity snit. They would probably whine about misandry because the only fleshed out male character is a serial killer, likely because they’re about 75% as awful when thinking about women and don’t feel good when confronted by the fact.
They don’t want there to be women beyond love interests for male dudes in their scifi or horror. Let alone women of color, let alone queers of color.
well I mean, those guys are nonsense-mongers, they’ll find some complaint no matter the score, but I assuming that LeastBittern’s friends were just regular males, and the thing about this story is that “I want love but I have a secret core of angst and evilness” seems so central to the geek male experience that it’d be close to universal in SFF circles.
Maybe that’s the problem with it though, maybe the problem is that it encroaches on what they perceive as being a traditionally male kind of story.
That was the only category where my favorite story won! I’m not always a fan of Alyssa Wong’s style of writing, but when she gets it right it sticks in your brain for a long time.
Oh man, that is so good. Terrifying but amazing. (Never want to online date again, though.)
My feelings are that I am queer and female and Chinese and this is literally the first time in my entire life that I have ever gotten to read about a queer female Chinese character.
Just read it and really liked it. I love that it’s a horror scifi story that deals with love and also a complex mother/daughter relationship. It does what science fiction should do which is take a cool idea and use it to explore the human condition.
Wooooow those deleted comments. I reread the possum piece and now I understand the outrage. It’s that first possum – it started a cult, didn’t it? A cult of marsupial supremacists? It certainly has the beady eyes and shouty maw of a true fanatic.
Mallory saw it coming. She even commented on their eerily human (keyboard-operating? OF COURSE DON’T BE NAIVE) fingers.
My dearest Toasties, I was in the throes of graduation weekend when the closing post went live and unable to participate in the outpouring of grief, but I did want to say to all of you and the staff of the Toast a hearty THANK YOU for everything. I love you all very much. Now I have to comb the comments and find out when the meetups and exchanges are happening.
a couple of people are already reposting their exchanges and things here, hopefully everyone else will too
Yeah, my weekend was taken up almost entirely by a wedding (which was, btw, amazing and perfect and our church’s *second* legal gay wedding), so I have a lot of catching up to do.
JGlows, the closing of the Toast has inspired this, so please don’t think me too forward, but we live near each other and I think we should be friends in real life? If you’ll have me.
Yes yes yes yes yes!!!!! How do we do this? Should I post my email?
Oh yaaay! Ok great, feel free to email me at paisleyLo [at] gmail!
TOAST FRIENDS IN REAL LIFE!
Hey, dearie, I emailed you last night. Let me know if you didn’t get it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/ToastCrumbs/ seems to be the place of choice.
THANK YOU. Now this old millennial has to figure out how this newfangled Reddit thingy works.
There is a handy ‘this is how reddit works’ thread on there as so many of us are in the same boat of ‘good lord, who would have predicted I’d ever have a reddit account?’
WRT Robert Caro, who’s read The Power Broker? It is enormous and endless and quite dated and FASCINATING. It was one of those ‘mindset-shifting’ books for me.
Yes! It’s a great book, and makes you think about New York differently (if you live and/or spend time in New York). With all the problems the subway is experiencing, it’s both frustrating (because Moses had a huge hand in creating a city that’s far too oriented around cars) and kind of inspiring/hopeful (because it seems to show that change is possible, when so often everything seems stuck).
Yes! I don’t live in New York, but it made me think a lot about transport and cities and cars and class and how people move around in ways I never had before.
I visited NYC once and loved it, but I’m still shocked at how run-down the subway is compared to those in European countries. And that’s an improvement on 20-30 years ago!
The Power Broker was like the Rosetta Stone of NYC for me.
Also, I don’t know what ‘harsh reality’ deleted commenter fool is referring to, where non-paywalled content without ads is sustainable forever somehow.
Yeah I really want to know where exactly all that great content is BESIDES IN HIS HEAD.
in John’s glorious future writers will be chained in the galley, 14 hours a day generating rebloggable content for their thane
You know, I sat for a minute trying to come up with something clever that built off this comment and extended the joke, but honestly, it’s really just perfect as it is. I’m still laughing; well done.
I want to say something about forcing him to sign the Magna Carta.
Hell, I don’t know where he’s finding his non-paywalled content without ads *now*. I can think of maybe a half-dozen websites that do that, but those sites are ads for their creators. John Scalzi maybe running a good party, but that is a party at which he sells books.
I assume that John the Deleted is running a bunch of adblockers and borrowing logins from friends.
“John the Deleted” heee. Truly he is one of the martyrs of our age.
John the Deleted, patron saint of men’s rights.
Yeah, I would be real interested to reduce the Internet down to this non-ad, non-paywalled content to see just what would be left.
In retrospect, The Toast regrets investing in a possum-to-English transcription device.
in case you guys haven’t seen this yet: https://youtu.be/1XEkXvUp8VM
it’s Tegan & Sara PLUS puppies!
The Toast is closing at the same time that I will quit my horrible job and begin my lovely amazing new job, and I am afraid that possibly this is all my fault because I unknowingly made some sort of devil’s bargain.
Over the weekend I found myself thinking “What if I get pregnant? How will I handle it without the Toast community to hold my hand through it all and help me with their wisdom?” This despite the fact that I have no intention of getting pregnant and my husband is shooting blanks anyway so the risk there is minimal. But the idea of having to go through major life events without Toasties…!
Please come join us on Toastie Slack! It’s really great. It has soothed me all weekend by its very existence.
Just email ppyajunebug at gmail. (All hail ppyajunebug!)
Right there with you. Also congratulations on the new job.
Thank you! I will be writing. About knitting. It’s like my dream jobs have collided.
That sounds awesome!
Oh my God, are you the person who applied to the job someone else talked about a couple of months ago when I had asked something about the publishing industry?? Because if so, that would once again prove how real and great the Toast community is.
oh man, i don’t remember! but even if i’m not that person, i probably was in spirit, because that’s how great the toast community is.
I found out today, via a Buzzfeed quiz, that there is such thing as a toothbrush sanitizer, and that you apparently shouldn’t keep your toothbrush in the bathroom. I have never heard this before.
In other news, today is a federal holiday here! I have to work on my master’s applications, but I’m at home, not commuting, not having to engage with other people.
Wait wait where should you keep your toothbrush then?? (Do I want to know?)
I think, anywhere you don’t flush the toilet so all the spray from flushing doesn’t come and sit on your toothbrush. Or, close the lid before flushing.
I think it’s what Es_Petal said. But still: I don’t keep my toothbrush right next to the toilet, so I don’t really see the problem.
The spray reaches around 6 feet, so if your sink/counter is within that distance of the toilet, your toothbrush is probably still getting it. I just put the lid down; it has the bonus effect of keeping the cat out.
When I was a kid we had a cat who loved to play with water so now my entire family keeps our toilet lids closed.
My entire bathroom is about 7’x4′ and I think about this very upsetting reality a lot D:
I keep mine in a drawer. This is because otherwise I will just leave my toothbrush anywhere and then not be able to find it later. Truthfully you aren’t in a whole lot of danger.
The people who delight in informing other people about where they’ve found “fecal bacteria” really kind of piss me off; it’s not as if every exposed surface in your bathroom is covered in shit, but that’s the implication, and I feel like they’re feeding the worst fears of OCD types. I mean, I guess you could put your toothbrush in a cabinet after using so that it doesn’t get the spray, but unless you’ve got a severely compromised immune system, I wouldn’t (and don’t) worry about it.
I choose to believe that as a reasonably healthy person, these sorts of things give my immune system something to do and therefore make it stronger.
Exactly. I ate dirt as a baby, now I keep my toothbrush in the bathroom. Same thing really.
Put the lid down. Bonus: it prevents the rats from crawling out!
Ugh I am so glad I live in “rat free” Alberta right now because that IS HORRIFYING. I know have heard that is a possibility before, but damn it creeps me out every time I hear it.
A rat can totally lift a toilet seat.
Shit, that was kind of mean. I mean probably not yours though?
Good morning, Toast folks! You might appreciate the wonderful Taika Waititi talking about creativity a few years ago. I personally am now very much a fan of the Rugby Babies, who make their appearance around the fifteen minute mark. I’m an artist who has been stumped about what to get a girlfriend with a new baby. Enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pL71KhNmnls
Thank you for this! I am so excited for Hunt for the Wilderpeople I almost cannot stand it.
Oh, my gosh. Me too. Saw the trailer on the weekend. I hope it gets released locally. I don’t know my chances of dragging my blind friend along if we have to travel an hour each way. She gets a kick out of having people describe the action sequences in whispers in the theatre. The Dressmaker was the last one we went to and she giggled every time I leaned over and whispered “Smoochin,” in a really deadpan voice.
The trailer, for everyone else: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n8Xvsjy57X0
So great. I’m from NZ, and whenever people tell me that they think the NZ accent is sexy, I’m like “Nah,” but hearing Taika speak, I get it. I totally get it. (His films are wonderful, too.)
A sexy erudite man is a sexy erudite man, no matter what the accent. (I don’t have firm ideas on the kiwi accent. I’m Aussie. Who am I to judge?)
I did love Eagle Vs. Shark.
Ha, judge away! People ask if I’m from Australia at least once a day.
If you haven’t seen it, I thought What We Do In Shadows was really funny and, somehow, sweet.
It is definitely on my list, don’t worry 😊
I’m so looking forward to the sequel!
That movie is hilarious!
WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE?
It’s definitely possums writing those comments
I, too, love the harmless and, IMO, charming American opossum. But I do not wish their company on most.
Also the Nebulas ceremony looked chill AF. I’m glad there’s like 17 different genre awards so we can functionally ignore the Hugos for a bit. This summer is the Shirley Jackson awards for spoopy and dark fantastic fiction! If you are near Boston come to Readercon and check out that ceremony. Also just come to Readercon. It’s genre bookworm minus conspicuous consumption fandom (so no merch, cosplay, etc).
I hereby nominate the word “spoopy” to mean “so scary it made me crap my pants.”
I too love that there are many, many genre fiction awards. It makes me feel better when my favorite book of the year (The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet, this year) gets snubbed by the Hugos/ Nebulas if they get nominated for a bunch of other awards.
I loved that book so much!
MANKA MANKA WHERE ARE YOU
But… Idris Elba??
My heart 🙁 I was actually going to go if Idris Elba was Bond.
Oh ew. No. Do not want.
I will only be ok with another white dude for 007 if he’s [Bond] also gay :/
…I would have been SO EXCITED for Idris Elba (or any PoC Bond! What about an Indian-British Bond?? What’s the largest minority England has?)
I want to post Nicole’s tweet on every overly-enthusiastic Bernie supporter’s Facebook. Yesterday I was scrolling through the twitter of a person I do not know and he had so many retweets about Hillary being shrill and a liar (and I understand she is not all perfect or even close) but it made me want to SCREAM.
Is it November yet?
don’t you mean $hrill though
I have converted my favorite vegan joke to a Bernie joke.
q: How can you tell if someone supports Bernie Sanders?
a: Don’t worry, they’ll tell you and overload your Facebook with Bernie posts.
dont u mean $hillary
oh hey there joke twin
eep! i am glad we are on the same wavelength and i am sorry for accidentally repeating your joke (i need to refresh link roundups more frequently to catch everyone’s jokes haa)
Were I an uncharitable woman, I might ask you to maybe leave us one or two deleted commenters to play with, perhaps as a parting gift. What fun we could have.
https://media.giphy.com/media/U1aW0wmZvlUB2/giphy…
Forget commenting by possums, I do suspect that Currer_Belle may be a feline. (So THIS is what would happen if cats grew thumbs.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6CcxJQq1x8
We may be too witches for a lot of things, but we’re not too witches for that.
I was at work so I missed the announcement on Friday till it was too late, so here’s my sad thank-you to The Toast and Nicole and Mallory for creating such a wonderful supportive safe space on the internet. I only joined as a commenter a few months ago and I naively thought that The Toast would be around forever. It’s a shock but I am thankful for the experience I got to have of this community and thankful that the writers still exist and will hopefully write elsewhere and thankful that they were able to call it quits before burning out. Respect.
I’ve been traveling, so I was also late to the link roundup. Thank you, Nicole and Mallory, and congratulations. You made something wonderful, and it lasted for three years, and I’m happy you’re able to bring it to a close at the right time for you. In an ideal world, would I like the robot versions of you to take over, so they can keep attacking possums and running link roundups and deleting MRAs until the end of time? Sure! But given that you are two human beings who have been working at what Oregon Trail calls “a grueling pace” for the past three years, I’m really glad that you’re going to be able to do something else for awhile.
That said, I will miss this community terribly. Nicole’s Playlist for Standing Outside Benedict Cumberbatch’s Wedding Venue has never been more needed than it is right now. http://the-toast.net/2014/11/06/playlist-standing…
Eurovision thread!
My country came in last yet again, to no one’s surprise (well, at least not mine). I do feel sorry for Jamie-Lee, because she is just 18, and new to the public world. I hope she has a very good support system back home.
I am, however, not surprised Russia came in second; the song was obviously bad, but the show was very Eurovision-like. I’m glad they didn’t win, though.
A fun thing to do is watching clips of the moderators and focussing on Mans Zelmerlöw; just pretend he’s looking at you, just you, and it’ll probably make you feel ~things~.
Yay! I was just about to start a thread if no one else did.
Russia: actually third (sorry, THAT person). Loved the special effects and was genuinely worried that Sergey would fall. He’d had a history of weird faints and tripping over the past month or so, and I was very relieved that he survived that climb.
BULGARIA! OMG, so much love for Poli Genova. Didn’t care for the song as much on video/studio, but she brought it live. That outfit would have Barbara Dexed anyone else, but she worked it like a champ. Best Bulgarian result EVER; superbly deserved fourth place.
Australia: WOW. (Came in second overall, was first in jury votes.)
Ukraine: the most unEurovision song in history, but important. I love Ukraine’s philosophy of “We will send a young woman to Eurovision and she can do ANY DAMN THING SHE WANTS, WE DO NOT CARE.” Worked with Ruslana in 2004; worked again in 2016. I don’t believe Jamala’s message was too political. It’s a forgotten piece of history and has resonances with today on many levels. (Looked like she’d come in second but catapulted to first at the last minute with the televote.)
PETRA AND MANS! Love love, peace peace indeed! They need to be the hosts every year to the end of time, that’s all there is to it. I thought I would die laughing at their numbers. The taxi footage was also hilarious. Love them so much.
I welcomed a return to good ol’ political point-scoring Eurovision. You could tell a lot about the relationships of various countries to Russia this year by their 12-point choices.
Also, the Iceland guy with the dog, who I can’t find a photo of online for some reason.
I and the folks I was watching with burst out laughing when the Iceland guy appeared on the screen.
Can someone explain to me why Australia was in Eurovision? Did the organizers get confused and think it was Austria?
There’s apparently a large fan base in Australia, they broadcast the show every year. Therefore, the organisers thought it would be ~fun~ to invite them for the 60th anniversary last year. Originally, Australia was only supposed to take part again if they had won last year, but for some reason, they were invited again but had to qualify in the semi-finals.
But I don’t really get it either. And why was Justin Timberlake there??
Justin Timberlake’s presence is a mystery to me, because the semis had some great acts by local (I assume) entertainers. Dance battle with robots! A huge “Eurovision the musical” number! It was great. I don’t know why they decided to book a random famous American for the big final. I mean, they should at least have gone with Lady Gaga.
Yup, Timerlake performing seemed kind of silly, taking away the lovely campness of it all with a huge star, it was completely out of place.
Not to mention rather mean to the slightly less professional and world-famous competitors.
Also: He must have been incredibly expensive.
Swedish national television will only show reruns of reruns for the next five years.
Because this was the first Eurovision broadcast in the US, probably?
Because Australia has a sense of humour and that’s what Eurovision is all about!
Yep, the eternal spirit of Eurovision transcends such mortal concerns as geography.
I thought it was because Australia still has the queen on their money?
So do we! So do we! *raises hand* my bf kept asking why Canada wasn’t in it if Australia was allowed.
There is a really long (30+ years) tradition of watching Eurovision in Australia. We have parties. It is the subject of office conversation. Our commentary team goes over to attend. Meanwhile, the Eurovision organisers are keen to expand to a larger global audience, because why wouldn’t you want to get more people watching? This year China and America watched it live as well, and it’s very popular in Africa.
I think that Australia is also involved because we are doing an Asian version next year, which Eurovision has tried to make happen before. (I’m excited about AsiaVision – Kpop! Jpop! Bollywood! Imagine the joys that await us, Toasties.)
I was happily surprised with Ukraine’s win! I was really pulling for them, but thought Russia was going to take it for sure. And Poli Genova was adorable and I’m very glad she did so well.
Lordi showed up for Love Love Peace Peace and that just made my day. They are my favorite winners of all time.
More importantly, this means that there is a chance Verka Serduchka can host next year and that fills me with a joy I cannot put into words.
Oh I hadn’t even thought about Verka Serduchka hosting next year. That is such an amazing idea. I shall bask in it all day.
So here for Eurovision talk!
Am I the only one who was rooting for Azerbaijan? More about the backup dancers than the song, it’s true, but those backup dancers were my everything.
I do not understand how Ukraine won. I mean I do, and the politics of Eurovision are endlessly fascinating to me, but that song was just so boring, plus if you’re not allowed to have political songs (which is a rule I never knew and probably don’t agree with personally not that it matters in the slightest) it should have never qualified.
I think that Australia is part of it now because it makes a change from explaining why Israel is in?
Love Love Peace Peace hands down the best song of the night!
Ok, let me just start out by saying Måns Zelmerlövs’ nickname here in Sweden is “Mums ” Zelmerlöv, “mums” translates as “yum”. Or “yum, yum” if you like.
Sweden has a rather…unhealthy obsession with our own outtakes for the ESC, they last for something like five or six weeks, with a number of pre-outtakes before the big national final.
This, plus hosting the BIG, HUGE, ENORMOUS MONSTER OF A THING you experinced, drains the Swedish television network of I don’t even want to know how much money.
I was sure our contesting song of nothing happening for three minutes would save us from hosting the big one again, yet PEOPLE KEPT GIVING FRANS TWELVES! (For a while, anyway) WHHHHYYYYY?
I laughed so hard when he was surpassed by Bulgaria, thanks of the people’s vote. Bless the people.
I actually liked your song! It was so unexcited, and Frans seemed like a nice person.
Frans was an adorable little one hit wonder when he was seven, with a song about Sweden’s soccer god, Zlatan.
A bit of the lyrics went like this:
“I love you, ich liebe dich – Zlatan Ibrahimovic!”
I was rooting so hard for Poli Genova! She BROUGHT IT in pure Eurovision style! Her light-up body suit! That massive light-up earring that I thought was a shoulder ornament! The dance! All she needed were some overly enthusiastic backup dancers and some wild props & she would’ve been pure gold. I wish she had done better than 4th, but given that it was the best result for Bulgaria in ESC history, I won’t complain too much.
LOVE LOVE PEACE PEACE THOUGH! That was the absolute peak of Eurovision & no one could even vote for it! That said, I was a bit disturbed with myself when I understood all of the references…
I loved her costume!
I’d like to throw the US commentators into a black hole, especially Carson with his bi erasing bullshit w/Netherlands frontman (who is bi), and then for comparing Jamie-Lee to Rachel D*l*z*l because the former has a penchant for Japanese fashion. HAVING A LOVE FOR JAPANESE FASHION IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING A WHITE WOMAN WHO THINKS SHE HAS BECOME BLACK AND DOESN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT TRANSRACIAL REALLY MEANS, YOU POS. I ended up upgrading my Tunnelbear to watch on the Eurovision website for a while. (At least until my internet couldn’t keep it together, after which I put it back on Logo and watched the results mostly on mute.)
I also side-eye whoever thought making an ableist joke w/the “Eurovision straitjacket” was a good idea.
Rants aside, BULGARIA. <3 Also, Croatia’s singer is CUTE!
I wanted to give the commentators some leeway considering it was their first time, but my Eurovision party mostly ended up shouting at them to shut up or sort of gaping at each other after some of the comments.
What?? That’s terrible.
And the straitjacket “joke” was the worst. Don’t know why nobody objected to that.
I feel like a lot of the men were really good looking this year! (But then, I couldn’t watch the last few years for various reasons, so maybe this is the normal amount of good looking men?)
In my experience, the best-looking men are usually among the national presenters giving the results.
BEN CARSON commented the US broadcast??!?
….ok, I guess not.
Carson Kressley of Queer Eye fame. And Michelle somebodyorother. They were the US commentators.
I also felt really bad for Jamie-Lee, but her song was so boring! She should have gone all the way on the K-pop, not just her costume.
In other news, it was super exciting as a US person to actually watch live. Our commentators weren’t the best, but I’ll forgive them since they hadn’t had any practice.
HOLD UP ONE SECOND because Australia came second and rightfully so we had a great song. Russia came third.
1) Ave atque vale, Toast.
2) My new RA (from England!) told us that there never was a trashcan in the bathroom when I asked him why there wasn’t one. I cannot imagine how, in a dorm filled with people, some of whom may menstruate or be very sick or need to throw out a toothbrush, there can be no trash cans in the bathroom!
I HATE bathrooms without a trashcan, and don’t understand how this is possible, and yet there are some many of them.
And I really don’t want to imagine a dorm bathroom without a trashcan. Do they just throw their garbage in the toilet or what??
I DO NOT KNOW. I almost fainted when I heard that, because WHO LIVES LIKE THIS?! My roommate and I were both like “nope, personal trash cans to the bathroom NOW” because we were not raised by wolves!
Imagine not having a place to throw out bathroom debris. I guess most of them co-opt personal trash cans that used to live in the desk; the other option is “we all throw our garbage, including toothbrushes and pads and tampons and ruined underwear and floss and god knows what else, down the toilet hole and watch as it floods.”
re 1) aaah that’s so perfect. Ave atque vale indeed.
Ok not going to get weepy BUT just wanted to share that on Friday I was all sad over the Toast and then I came home to my first-ever Toast Post in the mail. Thanks Mallory, Nicole, and Nikki for creating this perfect supportive little community I can run to during the week.
And to all the people I’m supposed to send Toast Post to – I AM TERRIBLE AND HAVE YET TO SEND THINGS BUT I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN AND I WILL DO IT SHORTLY <3
nice!
I have sent off 4 Toastposts and have not gotten anything in return yet, o melancholy… but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time.
I just want to second that I too will send out my Toast Post soon! My semester is over in 1.5 WEEKS and then I am all over it. I want my toast posties to get the very best, and alas, that cannot happen until I have more brain space.
I THOUGHT NO I’LL JUST DO TOAST POST NEXT TIME THERE’S NO NEED TO STRESS.
So basically it is all my fault.
I also have not sent mine out yet due to some general nonsense but I will be finally be able to send them this weekend!
“Barrett — who doesn’t believe in aging, just “phasing” — essentially disappeared.”
That Ms. Rona article is wild and also inspiring, sign me up.
AGREED. What an absolute delight.
Out of context, this line reads as though she one day just phased into another dimension instead of growing old and dying, and now I am also inspired.
It is a sleepy Monday morning, and I really meant to post this last week, but I got all my Toast Posts in the mail! I had a lot of fun with them so I’ll probably do another round or two, especially in light of recent news. Hope they arrive in good shape!
Thanks again to polkastripes for organizing!
Please to enjoy this magnificent photo of Channing Tatum in his unbearably dapper British gent costume on the set of Kingsman: The Golden Circle, complete with bowler hat, pocket square and thick rimmed glasses! – https://twitter.com/mrmarkmillar/status/731940130…
In a similar vein, here’s a video of Vin Diesel and Charlize Theron being silly dorks on the Fast and Furious 8 set – https://www.instagram.com/p/BFXpoTqGPnq/
I’m kind of fascinated by next year’s crop of movies, which are going to be ridiculous and amazing in all the right ways.
Cripes, if they ever do a live-action Mr Benn, I know who’s playing the lead.
YES.
I can’t stop laughing at his face. Charming Tater is truly a gift.
So focused! So serious!
THE TATER WILL BE IN KINGSMAN 2????
*muppet arms*
John is the worst.
Me @ GoT last night: I live. I die. I live again.
There was definitely a happy dance going on on my couch.
“What they want most is to be left alone to do their job.” — most definitely a possum who gets my applause for maintaining the third-person.
“Wholly shit twit, what drivel” is suitably Ortbergian, and I approve.
“Ortbergian.”
to be fair it’s got to be at least two possums, right, so the second one is helpful in establishing the third person because each possum can just pretend they are talking about the other possum to ensure that they catch any rogue firstpossumisms
Who are the people who don’t understand that fulminating against the malfeasance of racoons and possums on the internet is A JOKE? Whoooooooo????????
And, what are they like in real life?
excuse me I am 1000% serious about the terribleness of raccoons and possums
A friend messaged me on Friday with condolences for my loss. Then a woman from church and I had a moment of embracing and mourning at a wedding reception on Saturday (she doesn’t have an account, so she grabs me in the parish hall every Sunday to discuss wonderful posts and my comments). She’ll miss showing her husband Dad Magazine posts and hearing him say “I don’t understand why that’s funny. Isn’t that just what everyone does?”
I just…I needed to tell you guys that.
Omg, I love that! An anon Toastie who pulls you aside for a weekly Toast gab-session. I love it.
We’re both former Lutherans, so she was very excited to hear my thoughts on Mallory Reviews the 95 Theses.
Actually, just Church Geek posts in general.
My sister sent me a very sweet email saying “you must be so upset.” Quite nice of her, really.
It’s as if my pub went out of business AND the archdiocese closed my church in the same week.
…did that happen? Because if so, shit, I’m really sorry to hear that.
No- I mean the Toast was both of those things to me. But thanks and sorry for the confusion!
Oh, good! We got an email last week that our church organist, who is a wonderful musician and a delightful human being, is leaving. So I was primed to read that into things.
Last week was balls. Just complete and total balls.
Verily, it was.
I had thought nothing could top the week before, and now I’m honestly kind of afraid- like that the universe will say, “Oh, you’re so sad you didn’t leave the house for two days over a website? Watch me REALLY give you something to cry about!”
Yeah, the world seems to be very much in a “you like a thing? Fuck you, you cannot have the thing” place, and I’m feeling very off-balance.
Welp, I just found out my laptop is Killed Off For Real (dead battery AND broken motherboard.)
Is it too early in the day to hide under my desk, having first moved the books that are already there?
I thought my laptop was Killed Off For Real last week, but then I opened it up and took a q-tip to the battery connections, and now it’s fine? IDK, I feel like there wasn’t enough dust in it for that to have been the problem, but it recognizes the charger now?
Despite having put myself on a minor spending freeze, I think I’m going to just buy a few bottles of wine next time I’m out, in preparation for whatever the universe does to send me to the wine fort this week/end.
To me, it felt like somebody had broken up with me. (“It’s not you, it’s us”, indeed.)
Yes, that as well. Where the other person has just as much of a right to decide when a relationship is over as you do, but it still just hurts.
This is exactly what it felt like to me. Like the kind of breakup where it makes sense and you understand, but you’re still heartbroken.
Yeah, and also like…”How long did you know? The last six months? So that time…that time too, you knew…?”
Urgh this so much yes
And then you start reading emotional distance into all of your interactions during that time.
Oh, yeah. Like, it’s not that I didn’t expect my husband to be sympathetic, but I was even a little surprised at how sweet he was about it. We drove to see my mom on Friday night (about a forty-minute drive) and I think I talked about The Toast for at least half of it; he was very patient and kind and made all the right soothing noises of assent and even said things like, “I’m sorry, I know you’re going to miss it so much” and “But at least there will be the Reddit to be a part of, that’s a nice thing” and “Yes, getting a Toast tattoo would be really cool.”
This was a welcome contrast to one of my dear friends, who after I told him the news said, “Oh, I thought when you said you were having a horrible day you meant you had, like, real-life problems. Like real problems.” He was joking, but I still curtly informed him that he could go fuck himself.
Did he feel really bad, at least? Because he should feel really bad.
umm, did i miss the reddit announcement? there’s going to be a toastie reddit?
https://www.reddit.com/r/ToastCrumbs 🙂
Yes! It’s here.
Oh my god, so the reason I don’t have any tattoos is I can never think of anything I love enough to permanently mark upon my body. A Toast-related tattoo is literally the first thing I have ever heard that I was like, “Yes. I would totally disfigure my body for that, yes yes yes.” I shall have to ponder this.
The Hart Island piece was haunting. So many people buried there despite having their own burial plans, money, will, etc. but it was ignored by court-appointed guardians and/or hospitals. That and the idea that you could search for the whereabouts of your loved one but not be told, because the hospitals/nursing homes/hospices had lost track of where the person was transferred, and they were too ill themselves to contact relatives! Also that you could lose track of a loved one and not find out where they were buried for TWO YEARS because they weren’t actually buried — they were being used as medical school and funeral home practice corpses for two years — 24 months — two years!!
semi-seriously thinking of having my name and desire to be cremated and bank account # engraved on a metal bracelet, or tattooed inside my elbow or something. Even if you are dead and can’t know about it, what a horrible thought to have your corpse shunted around and then dumped in the potter’s field like that.
I’m really fine with having a microchip with this kind of info.
I am pretty haunted by that article myself, and wondering if it should be part of my long term ministry plans…
The complete lack of even a minimal attempt by some of the guardians/nursing homes is horrifying. No respect for the dead. They pulled all the money out of a person they could, and tossed the corpse aside when they were through.
I love (hate) how with one of the guardians they spoke to, his first words were “I should be paid.” And Then he said “oh yeah, she should be buried where she bought a plot” or something to that effect.
That couples did not end up lying next to one another in the plots they picked out is upsetting.
I want to add my voice to the chorus and express my appreciation for the work that the writers and moderators put into making this site the best place on the Internet. I mostly just read and don’t contribute comments, but I feel a part of this community. Thank you so much!
While I’m really happy that SFWA continues to emphasize inclusivity in the work they promote (and think they’re just an all around great group of awesome people), I’m kind of upset that none of my favorites won this year.
I mean have you guys read The New Mother? Because that story messed me up badly, in a very good way.
But I’m still holding out hope for NK Jemisin to win the Hugo because The 5th Season is a brilliantly written book and she deserves it.
Also, I’m picturing lawyer possums in tiny suits writing those comments.
I’m just here for The Fifth Season love. So good. I can hardly wait for the next one.
I did enjoy Uprooted, too, though, and it fits nicely in with some of my other favorite past Nebula award winners.
Fingersmith involved some kinky dudes, but from what I can recall I wouldn’t really call it kinky? I remember one actual sex scene and then references to a lot of pornography being transcribed but that was it.
Oh wait this movie definitely sounds a lot kinkier.
yeah, park has put out some pretty disturbing films over the years
I remember the BBC adaptation of Fingersmith fondly if only because I watched it transfixed in my college days before I figured out I was bisexual and just was in denial about why a costume drama about lesbians was ENTHRALLING.
I had a busy weekend so I didn’t have time to mourn, but now i’m back and it’s Monday and the number of link roundups is now finite and I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it and I want to die a little.
Is it just me, or is everyone who uses the term “harsh reality” a real assed hole?
Not just you. They are.
TRUMP-LIKE HATE AGAINST OPOSSUMS.
WOW.
This woman sets life and death goals for many performers, I think: http://www.cnn.com/2016/05/16/us/jane-little-atla…
More OT, and also I tweeted about it: has anyone else seen Chaos, a French movie from 2001 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0265116/ ?
I loved it before I knew misandry was a thing. It’s all about how awful men are (#notallmen) and women helping each other and the men all get their comeuppances and it’s really satisfying. Movie night at my place.
Content warning for graphic sexual abuse.
Ooh, yes, I’ve seen it, it’s great! It’s on TV pretty often here, for some reason.
I keep forgetting: there is an EXCELLENT typo in the Goop sex issue, blaming vaginal dryness on scented soups.
Damn that lavender pottage!
Or, if you will, potage a la lavande….
Something something Cock-a-leekie
Are we SURE it’s a typo? Gwyneth is pretty weird.
(NOTE: Not that I’m soup-shaming anyone who’s into that….)
“political correctos”
I’m picturing these as a candy, like Mentos
I’m reading it as a noun referring to people who are politically correct, like randos or weirdos. Political correctos, just enforcing anti-thought crime legislation everywhere and ruining fun for everybody.
That was my take, too
That article about Robert Caro is the first time I’ve ever considered that Mark Rutte might have a personality. Wild.
hahaha right, I was like… he LIKES things?
My friend once referred to Rutte as “Politician #2 from Central Casting” and damn if that isn’t the best description.
FINGERSMITH IS A MOVIE AND NO ONE TOLD ME?
OH MY GOD, I HAVE THE VAPORS.
I’m happy for all of you and I want you to fly free and I get it. And I thank you, just like everybody else, for the community you’ve created here.
I’m just really sad.
I am very sad to be losing the Toast so soon after I found it.
Yes, this.
i have loved the toast, content, and all your comments as a lurker for eons, but i want to jump in and say the impending end of this lovely community was on my mind all weekend. i will miss the space that you all create so much, but look forward to the bigger and better that i know is coming from you all.
Thanks to everyone here. every one.
CORKY THE TOAST, WE LOVE YOU, WE WANT YOU TO LIVE!!!
(But really, I’m heartened that The Toast will continue to live on through its archives and the communities it’s fostered and the hearts of its contributors and readers, etc. <3)
You aren’t allowed to have popcorn at Cannes? Why not?
It attracts plebes?
Because it might distract you from the Srs Art on screen.
Popcorn is a carb.
Toasties, I would like some Toast merchandise. Can anyone point me out to any? I feel pretty stupid about being unable to find any for myself (unless none exists? so far all I’ve seen is the Ronbledore T-Shirt which has been sold out since 2014).
If none exists, can we make it happen somehow? (I’m imagining a scenario in which displaced Toasties recognize each other in real life by T-shirts or tote bags with sayings on them like “Too Witches” and become instant friends.) (There’s a daily in DnD 4th edition called “Instant Friends” and it sounds so much like kindergarten)
GOOD LUCK I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR A TOTE FOR MONTHS
If you can’t get one, there’s no hope for the rest of us!
Nicole has boxes and boxes of Toast totes that all are eagerly awaiting!
See pics here: http://the-toast.net/2015/12/07/link-roundup-467/
Wait wait how do I get one? I really want one! (CAN I get one?)
We are all waiting for them! They were supposed to go up for sale a while ago, but it has been delayed. I’m just keeping my eye out/reading every link round up in case they go up for sale there!
I have a t-shirt, I am sure another end-of-site run would be very well received? I know I’d buy another one along with these mythical tote bags.
Just posting to endorse the idea of end-of-site merchandise! I would buy all the Toastie things – partly because they will be amazing and partly because they’ll be like little badges to remind me of its wonderful existence.
oh same, i bought one of the nursery rhyme “kill all men” shirts for a friend when they came out and now i’m kicking myself for not purchasing one of my own. ideally there would be some form of commemorative merch that was discreet but very specific so we could recognize one another by it. like a tiny pin. or a specific kind of artificial feather or barette to be worn in the hair.
Would LOVE a toast t-shirt with “too witches” or “take to the sea” or something toasty on it.
My decision to pick my very common first name as my Toast username has finally backfired.
Way to RUIN it for me RIGHT AT THE END, OTHER JOHN
Re: deleted possum comments–THANK YOU for moderating comments so ruthlessly. You must be reading some truly awful stuff if this is the response to hilarious gibberish about animals.
A willing foe, AND sea room! Gah!
(sorry)
Damn! She sounds like quite a woman!
This is marvelous. I hope to have that kind of style — and those kinds of legs! — when I'm 80!
My American grandma (who was actually very Italian and in no way related to me, but maybe the most wonderful person I've ever met) used to help the elderly as well, well into her 80s. She always said that she was 18 on the inside and that was the age that mattered.
Nominating this for best thread ever, as I am loving the hell out of everyone's grandma stories. I had two wonderful grandmas, a great-aunt who helped raise my dad, and my American grandma. I called her my American grandma because none of our relatives lived in the U.S., but she was such a close friend, really–it's just that intergenerational friendships are so uncommon, so, American grandma she was. She was Italian, and devoutly Catholic–had almost gone to volunteer with Mother Teresa after her husband died, but Mother Teresa wrote her back to tell her to serve where she was. And she did serve, with passion and humor and compassion, and nary a judgment. Devoutly "Catholic of the heart," she called it, which meant that she was fine with gay people (and was one of the local hospital's first volunteers to work with folks with AIDS, back when it was still a complete mystery and no one really knew how you got it; all that mattered to her was that people were suffering and needed someone to hold their hands), very down with feminism, and when I came out to her, her very first question to me was "Well, have you met any nice girls?" without batting an eye. I almost burst into tears because she was the first family member I told and I'd been so nervous and she was so amazing. I miss her presence in the world. Every year during the holiday season she would get actual sacks of mail, from everyone she'd helped, and she was so humble. The only reason the local newspaper managed to talk her into letting them do a story on her was that they pointed out that the publicity would really help the causes she volunteered for.
Actually, coming out to my other grandma–dad's mom–was kind of fabulous as well. Her, I wasn't planning to tell, really, unless it became an actual issue with a partner, because we weren't super close, and she didn't really live near me, she was born in 1910 or so, and you never know about attitudes and I kinda figured it wasn't necessary. More fool me, really. So we're talking and she's asking me about guys and I'm being a bit evasive, and she says, "Do you like guys?" I say "Oh, I like guys fine," and she's NOT having it and says "You know what I'm asking!" and so I ask if she would mind (I'm her only granddaughter, I feel like that somehow makes a difference), and she says heavens no, she just wants me to be happy. So I tell her that I'm bi, and she looks a bit puzzled and asks, "What is that?" So I explain that I'm attracted to people regardless of gender, and she kind of mulls it over and says, "Huh. We didn't have that in my day…. I wonder if I missed out." I was floored. It was awesome.
That was DEFINITELY not how I'd imagined the conversation going, if I'd imagined it at all. And then we proceeded to have drinks and talk about sex and love for the rest of the evening, and it was wonderful. I'm so, so grateful that she asked, and that she was so open. (Turns out that, because she & my grandpa were in the theater, they'd always had out gay men among their friends, because even in the early 1900s it was fairly acceptable to be out-ish if you worked in theater.)
So those are two of my grandma stories, I love reading all y'all's stories, and Boo Boo sounds like a national treasure.
Even after I stopped being vegetarian, I never went back to hot dogs. Veggie dogs all the way, because while they are also not exactly healthy, at least I do not fear their questionable bits.
As always, I'm late to the party, but hopefully the story of the time my grandma slapped the nun will make up for it….
It goes like this. All of my mom's siblings ended up in Catholic school for at least a few years (Mom's still not sure how she dodged that bullet), and one of my aunts was a shy, quiet kid, who got slapped by the teacher one day, I think for "mumbling."
Well. My aunt goes home and tells her mother this, and the next day after school, Grandma marches up the steps and slaps the nun. Needless to say, no one in that school ever hit any of her children again.
I think every article from now until July 1 should have at least one Sansa photo, regardless of the relevance.
I also have not sent mine out yet due to some general nonsense but I will be finally be able to send them this weekend!
This is the best grandma story ever! 😀
I think this is my new goal as a grandmother: get my grandkids for two weeks and let them do what they want.
Haaaaa my grandparents have like 12 marriages between all of them! 😉
Late answer! Being blonde and little, I was always made to be Baby. (Granted, I was not and never have been sporty, posh, ginger, OR scary.)