Why is this not already a band name? Start this band!
I DID NOT LOVE “NEIGHBORS 2” THE WAY I LOVED “NEIGHBORS AND THAT MADE ME VERY SAD
“Mysterious ring-shaped structures fashioned about 176,000 years ago by Neanderthals using broken stalagmites deep inside a cave in southwestern France indicate that our closest extinct relatives were more adept than previously known…”They moved more than two tons of broken stalagmites,” said paleoclimatologist Dominique Genty of France’s Climate and Environment Sciences Laboratory.
The purpose of these structures built, as University of Bordeaux professor of prehistory Jacques Jaubert put it, in the “underworld” remains an enigma. Jaubert said the site probably was not a place to live or cook, so far from daylight.”
I just
They’re re-releasing The Fast and the Furious in theaters next month!
Fast & Furious producer on the first film: ‘We were the little movie nobody really cared about’
15 years later, producer Neal Moritz recalls the beginning of the franchise.
“In early October 2014, Nick Jonas — out of the shadows of his boy-band past as one-third of the Jonas Brothers — went full Marky Mark: sending his jeans down to his ankles, his shirt up over his head into the stratosphere and his hand directly onto his dick. On the cover of Flaunt magazine, Jonas posed in homage to the iconic Calvin Klein ads featuring Wahlberg, whose allure in the photos was so intoxicating and aesthetically eye-popping that it set a new standard for masculinity in the 1990s. Jonas, barely old enough to buy a beer when his Flaunt spread put fissures in the internet, was invoking sexuality profound enough to melt down a purity ring.
But Jonas’ pronounced junk and rigid abs were not just a physical show-off, but a fine-tuned PR move. Nearly everything the R&B-dipped, media-proclaimed sex machine has done since then has been a meticulous, high-profile effort to strip (quite literally!) his image of anything adolescent and usher him into the next strata of pop stardom: adulthood, where careers for the rare former boy band member are carefully curated to have lasting power.
Jonas’ tight control of his narrative over the past two years has led to the most notable post-boy-band success story since Justin Timberlake. From provocative photo shoots and surgically produced singles to cherry-picked acting roles and minor scandals (which have done more good than bad), the 23-year-old has mastered the art of image, wielding his masculinity as a way to convince fans and media that he is now an adult, and it’s time to take him seriously.”
*
I prepped this list thinking it would be another open thread – enjoy ’em anyway!
link roundup!
Turns out beloved toastie Jaya went to summer camp with “internet’s wokest bae” M*tt McG*rry: https://twitter.com/jayasax/status/73528124802590…
Check out the Babayagas house, for French feminists who find taking to the sea to be an overly damp retirement plan: http://en.rfi.fr/france/20130305-babayagas-house
Luke tells the tale of his mom, Claire Gooding (one of the people who WROTE C), proving her mettle as the finest hacker of the 80s: https://twitter.com/Beardynoise/status/7339824775…
#whitewashedOUT #StarringJohnCho #StarringConstanceWu in the NYTimes: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/29/movies/asian-am…
Kate Beaton talks about why she moved back to her hometown of Mabou: http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/how-an-internation…
In case that wasn’t enough CanCon for you, here’s a touching tribute to Fort McMurray from Scottie Upshall: http://www.theplayerstribune.com/scottie-upshall-…
Julie Dash interviews Octavia Butler in 1995: https://vimeo.com/163190768
The Babayagas house seems like a wonderful idea, although I was really hoping the retirement home stood on two chicken feet. Perhaps once we are all 142-years-old or so, we can start a Toastie home.
I have planned to make my own Babayaga community since reading that article, so witches, so amaze.
I would love to live in such a community, for serious. There’d be mad drama, probably, (at least if the community is full of lesbians, which in my fantasy it is) but as long as we all had our own apartments I bet it could work.
Babayaga House 2026 – who’s with me?
A+ Link Roundup, you’re hired. I especially loved Luke proudly telling stories about his badass hacker mom. She sounds like a legend.
Kate Beaton is so great.
The Kate Beaton link led me down a path to reading her “Ducks” series for the first time and now I’m crying at my desk, so.
I would hope you think so, with that username/icon combo. 😀
omg the babayagas’ house!!! MY NEW LIFE GOAL: END UP THERE. I used to live in Paris and I love the Montreuil area. That part of the city is so nice! Augh. To retire in Paris with a bunch of feisty old French ladies who are too witches and eat pain au chocolat and chevre every day… *sighs happily*
I love that we are so dedicated to The Toast that whenever they can’t do something they usually do, THE COMMENTERS TAKE IT UPON THEMSELVES AS A PUBLIC SERVICE.
You’re a good egg.
Oh dear. I probably shouldn’t’ve read that Fort Mac one at work.
Great, now I have to worry about rat-crabs.
I believe FDR said it best:
So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is…rat-crabs — named, unreasoning, justified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert water into ice & fresh food into frozen. In every dark hour of our national life a leadership of frankness and of vigor has met with that understanding and support of the people themselves which is essential to avoiding the rat-crab menace. And I am convinced that you will again give that support to leadership in these critical days, and do me a solid and check the freezer, ‘kay?
Brilliant.
Everything That’s Wrong of Rat-Crabs
The SKLITTER and CLACK of their wrongful CLAWFEET ON INNOCENT PLASTIC is an affront to all that’s good and needed and I won’t have it, not today.
“wrongful CLAWFEET” is the best two-word phrase ever.
You’ve got SOFT, SLIMY, and ROUGH bits ALL OVER. That is too many textures for one being and I NEEDN’T SHALL’VE IT.
they’re not possums wearing armor made from discarded tupperware, no siree
Namble upon the beach whilst low-tide and hear their squeaps and see their furred eye-trees under EVERY rock; at least make a non-obvious search of yourselves
In somewhat related news, there were raccoons cratchle-scrabbling at my bedroom window a couple of nights ago. They didn’t leave even when I tried to discourage them by banging on the window. DO NOT WANT.
Um okay but actually rat-crabs are really important members of your freezer’s ecosystem?! Without them, those bags of mixed vegetables from 2005 that you keep telling yourself you’ll use would just pile up and up, and that would leave you with nowhere to store your frozen burritos and vodka, SO. I mean, sure they can take off your finger with one sharp snip of their giant claw, but I think they’re cute — with their little whiskers, and their chitinous tails, and their eye-stalks that are all curious and unblinking, waving gently in the frosty air, shining at you from the darkness in the very back of the freezer.
Okay I thiiiink this was meant to be horrifying, but now I am genuinely caring for these underappreciated creatures who have managed to carve out a niche for themselves in the world. (curious eyestalks sound adorable!)
Deleted comment: “RAT-CRABS ARE GREAT AND MY ONLY FRIENDS. YOU FEMINISTS JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND THEM, GO DIE IN A FIRE”
The difference in style between Nicole’s and Mallory’s link roundups is so clear and obvious, like yes of course Mallory would have a link about a cave.
I saw The Nice Guys last night with some friends and all my responses to anything ridiculous this weekend will be WHAT IS THIS, CHET?!
The Americans spoilers in a reply.
AND THAT IS ELIZABETH’S FIST
HOLDING YOUR KNIFE
IN YOUR THROAT
CREEPY JUNKYARD LOT DUDE
I’m wondering if all the constant references to Henry not being around to hear obvious Soviet spy talk means that the last shot of the season is going to be him huddled around a corner, listening to his parents talking to Paige or somebody about being spies.
Yes this 100 TIMES THIS
UGH we tried to go see The Nice Guys on discount night at the local theatre this week and were dummies who didn’t buy ahead and it sold out, like has happened 80% of the time we try to go to discount night. Is it good?? I am not a big movie person but I ADORE Kiss Kiss Bang Bang so when boyfriend said it was by the same dudes I was like YES GOOD
I thought it was really funny, but I haven’t seen KKBB (the AV Club reviewer said this wasn’t as motormouthed).
Basically it’s Chinatown-meets-the-Rockford-Files in 70s LA. There’s conspiracies, porn stars, a lot of dialogue obsessing over killer bees and smog, Angel of Death Richard Nixon, and Ryan Gosling gets the shit kicked out of him so often that at one point he speculates breathlessly that he might be indestructible, that he might be straight up unable to die.
“Yeah, whole city had a vote. Everyone showed up. Real big turnout.”
This is some excellently on-brand Mallory link herding right here
“Jaubert said the site probably was not a place to live or cook, so far from daylight.”
We have had about 3 hours of daylight so far and all this HEAT and POLLEN has already left me with a throbbing pain orb behind my left eye, so, M. Jaubert, I beg to differ.
Speaking of things I can do in cold, dark caves: that Fast and Furious re-release had better be screening in Boston. I’ve been meaning to watch the original again– I saw it at a sleepover in 6th grade and it was a little too intense and scary for me at the time, but I love all the Vin Diesel sequels.
it won’t be nearly as scary to watch FF1 now trust me
a major plot point revolves around CD players
and everyone drinks a lot of coronas
oh and if you haven’t already listen to the How Did This Get Made podcast episodes on the series
they all really genuinely love the movies and they’ve been angling for a cameo in them since they watched ff5
Looks like it is coming to Boston! June 22. This is very relevant to my interests, so I had to check.
http://www.fandango.com/fastandfurious15thanniver…
I have been an unabashed lover of the franchise from the very first installment. Michelle Rodriguez punching that dude was one of the very first GIFs I downloaded onto my desktop.
Re-watching it only brings home the injustice of Rick Yune’s career in Hollywood. Why is he not a bigger star?
Mixed feelings about the re-release of Fast & Furious. I’m not sufficiently over Paul Walker to see it again in public, yet.
I have lots of thoughts and feelings about the Nu-Jonas era
talk to me
“…he is now an adult, and it’s time to take him seriously.”
This made me laugh. I will never take Nick Jonas seriously. Or non-accidentally listen to his music.
yeah i feel like spotify has recommended nick jonas’ songs to me a few times because i listen to so much carly rae jepsen
but i have actually sought out Joe Jonas’ new song because the video features Ashley Graham
i feel like i need to give it views so execs will know that visible body diversity will pay off
So the last Joe Jonas song (“Cake By The Ocean” I think) is actually kind of a bop. Like, I’m not gonna buy it or add it to my own playlists, but I will not skip it if it comes up.
Wait, that song is on the radio all the time, and I didn’t know what it was called or who sang it. I just assumed I was mishearing the lyrics as “we’ll eat cake! by! the ocean!”
I mean, I don’t take him seriously, but I’m glad those are the real lyrics after all.
I am very surprised to hear that’s a Joe Jonas song! Also, is this the appropriate place to ask what that song is about? Because, like, I am 100% into the idea of cake by the ocean, but I have a feeling he’s not talking about CAKE by the ocean.
I feel like this will be this year’s “Is ‘I Can’t Feel My Face When I’m With You’ about cocaine or oral sex” debate.
My 13-year-old made me google because she could not utter the word sex, but allegedly it’s a joke about some Swedes he worked with who kept confusing the drink named “sex on the beach” and saying “cake by the ocean” instead and it sounded funny and dirty so he adopted it.
Well, that is considerably cuter and more innocent than I anticipated.
That song really speaks to me. I too am tired of all this candy on the dry land.
Gotta recommend the new Switched on Pop podcast episode about the reinventions of Nick and Joe, Jonas vs. Jonas: Or How We Learned to Stop Worrying and Love a Boy Band. The episode takes on Cake by the Ocean (Joe) and Close (Nick).
If you don’t know, Switched on Pop’s premise is two music nerds (a musicologist and a songwriter) breaking down pop songs, chatting about cool chord progressions and unexpected melodic choices and music history and all sorts of stuff. It’s smart and fun, and these guys just really love pop music. Also the musicologist’s dissertation is on jazz and Harlem nightlife in the 1920s/30s, and how race and racism shaped that scene, so I love him even more.
OMG this is the podcast I didn’t know I needed.
I was just coming down here to recommend that episode! Love <3
Yesss I was all over this episode <3 I love how earnest/non-judgmental they are, yet still made it clear that they were not buying Joe’s new OOOOH I SAID A BAD WORD persona.
JOE JONAS STORY My brother bartends at a restaurant in Sacramento, and got a call recently, from “Selena Gomez’s opening band” – who was DNCE – wanting him to bartend for them before/after their show, like on their tour bus. He turned them down.
He was like “Oh, I had a long day, school, work, then I would’ve been there so long, etc” whatever, quit bitching and go bartend for celebs, dude! I was like WHATTTT 1 of all you could have made BANK and B, you could have gotten a corner on the visiting celeb bartender market! Sheesh! Coulda been BFFs with Joe Jonas.
Well, I seriously think his song “Jealous” is offensive, and am kind of bemused that he could get a gospel choir to back his sentiment that one of the Seven Deadly Sins is all the girl’s fault because why she gotta be so hot?
He apparently writes lesbian anthems and wasn’t a jerk to Britney Spears so I already like him better than Timberlake.
Same. I just can’t with Timberlake.
Nu-Nick-Jonas was sort of in my periphery, uncared-about, until I watched this music video yesterday: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgJFqVvb2Ws
AND NOW I TOO HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS
HELP
See, even there, when he’s trying to look grown-up, I still just see this little weasel-y person. And his voice is kind of whiny, which doesn’t add points in his favor.
Today in (Feminist) History [Archive]
On this day in 1903 was the death of Susette “Bright Eyes” La Flesche (Tibbles), a member of the Omaha tribe who was a writer, interpreter, artist, and lecturer, known for her support of Native American causes. Susette was born in 1854 in Bellevue, the same year that the Omaha tribe gave up their hunting grounds in Nebraska and agreed to move to a reservation in northeastern Nebraska instead, to Joseph LaFlesche (the last recognized Chief of the Omaha) and Mary Gale (whose mother was from the Iowa tribe).
Susette was raised on the reservation, but left to get further education at a private school in New Jersey. Even then she was known for her writing ability; an essay she wrote her senior year was published in the New York Tribune. After graduating, Susette returned to the reservation as a teacher for several years. In 1877, however, she went with her father (whose mother had been Ponca) to investigate the living conditions of the Ponca tribe, which had been dislocated. Upon their return, Susette helped to publish a story of the Ponca’s plight in the Omaha Herald along with Thomas H. Tibbles, who she would later marry.
Nearly a third of the Ponca tribe died during the first two years of their relocation, due to the journey and the living conditions, including the son of Chief Standing Bear. When Standing Bear left with some of his tribe members to bury his son in their traditional homeland, they were arrested and confined. It was due to Tibbles’ (and Susette’s) coverage that Standing Bear received the pro-bono services of two defense lawyers. At the trial, Susette stood as Standing Bear’s interpreter, and also testified about the conditions at the reservation. Standing Bear v. Crook was a massively importantly, landmark civil rights case, which ended in the judge deciding that Native Americans did in fact have all the rights as U.S. citizens under the constitution.
After the trial, Susette– known more publicly now as “Bright Eyes”– went on a speaking tour with Standing Bear and her half-brother, among others, around the Eastern U.S., interpreting for Standing Bear but also speaking for herself as well. She testified in Washington before a Congressional committee about the Ponca tribe’s removal from their land, met with well-known American writers like Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (who saw her and stated she could be “Mennehaha” from his poem “The Song of Hiawatha”), and after marrying Tibbles, went on a tour of England and Scotland where she met and spoke with both nobility and those in literary circles. They also traveled to Pine Ridge South Dakota in 1891 to inquire about the Battle of Wounded Knee and the issues faced by the Native Americans at the reservations there.
Through her life, “Bright Eyes” continued to testify on behalf of Native Americans, as well as to write, lecture, and advocate for them. In 1902 she and her husband moved back to the Omaha reservation, where she lived until she died in 1903. She was eulogized in the U.S. Senate, was inducted to the Nebraska Hall of Fame, and will always be remembered as the first woman to speak out (to congress, the courts, etc) for the cause of Native Americans.
I love these. They’re such a bright spot in my day.
Awwwww, thank you, that made me smile!
Thank you for this.
What an awesome lady. You are a fountain of feminist knowledge.
This is lovely, and important to remember. But at the same time–what a name! I imagine her as a very large, very very fluffy Maine Coon or Norwegian Forest cat.
Susette’s sister, Susan was also pretty badass. Susan is widely regarded as the first Native American physician and founded the first privately funded hospital on a reservation. She was a big advocate for school hygiene, food sanitation, and educating the public on health issues. She spearheaded campaigns against tuberculosis and alcoholism. And finally, she fought against the consolidation of the Omaha and Winnebago reservations and land fraud (minors were being stripped of their land inheritance rights by a group of men living around the reservation and other Omaha members were leasing away their land to white people/companies, usually at major disadvantages to the Omaha and often without knowing the terms or being forced into signing the contracts) and she helped people navigate the bureaucracy of the OIA/BIA.
I already have my heart set on either “Dear Spyderman” or “Spaceboys” as my band name but I would definitely start a blog called The Great Heathen Army.
I SOLD MY BOOK
IT IS GOING TO BE A REAL BOOK
THAT’S ALL, BYE
AHhhhh that’s incredible! Go you!
Congrats!!!!!
NIKKI!! YAY!!!!
Amazing!!! All the hearts for you!!!!!!!
Heartfelt congratulations!
YAAAAAAAY!!!!!
JOY!!!
*refreshing pub lunch*
The announcement was posted yesterday and I didn’t find out until bedtime, so I was like “okay, will share in the morning I guess”
Congratulations!!!!
YAY BOOK YAY
Congratulations!
Hurrah!
HURRAH FOR YOU!
OH MY GOSH CONGRATULATIONS THIS IS SO EXCITING
HOORAY!!!
There’s something wrong with Intense Debate I can’t heart this a thousand times.
Congratulations!
CONGRATULATIONS
YOU DESERVE ALL THE GOOD THINGS!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
Aah congratulations!!
Toastie Dance Party! *OOTNZ OOTNZ OOTNZ*
We CAN have nice things!
Joy! We should have a whip-round for congratulatory nightstands!
Yay, congratulations!! I will be buying many and giving them to everyone!
FUCK YES. Well done!
That’s wonderful news! All the congratulations to you!
WILD APPLAUSE.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Congrats! I’m really looking forward to reading this.
I’ve always wanted to be in a band named Streetcar Conspiracy. Partly because I think it sounds awesome but mostly because I hope people actually google it and find out that the General Motors Streetcar Conspiracy is an actual real thing and it’s a lot (most?) of the reason streetcars were ripped up in cities across the country.
I see “Streetcar Conspiracy” and think “A Streetcar Named Conspiracy” would be a better band name. But now I will google the GM thing too…
wait, are you saying Who Framed Roger Rabbit? is *true*?
This brings to mind my favourite car company conspiracy!
Ok so car companies are the reason jaywalking is a Thing. There was a time in the early days of automobiles before crosswalks and jaywalking existed when newspapers were blaming pedestrian-car collisions on those nasty cars that go too fast, we should make them go slower or ban them from downtown!
And the car companies didn’t like that, so they started a campaign inventing jaywalking and had boyscouts hand out pamphlets about it (because we can all trust boyscouts, they are so wholesome!) and ALL OF A SUDDEN the newspapers were instead blaming the pedestrians for crossing where they shouldn’t and getting in the way! And so jaywalking laws were invented and the car companies won and we only have remote outposts like Halifax where cars have to yield to pedestrians anywhere instead of just at crosswalks.
I feel like this is yet another excellent anecdote to use in Why Girl Scouts are Better than Boy Scouts. Girl Scouts don’t discriminate AND they’re not corporate shills like the Boy Scouts.
Man, car companies were bastards! I guess they’re more right than I realized when they say cars changed the landscape.
You could tour with Streetlight Manifesto.
One hundred and seventy-six thousand years ago! That is a long flipping time.
Especially considering the earth is only 6,000 years old!
That article misses out the most important thing about those caves:
“While bears in the cave left behind claw marks, paw prints, tufts of fur, and even hibernation holes, they were not able to stack stalagmites into foot-high walls, the researchers say.”
The researchers say but they haven’t been able to prove this wasn’t bears. Be careful is all I’m saying.
You have to wonder how that conversation went:
Researcher: so anyway, they made walls, which is behavior we’ve never seen in Neandertals before.
Journalist: But there were also bears in these caves.
Researcher: …
Journalist: How do we know the bears didn’t build these walls? I mean, they have hands.
Researcher: *Face palm*
I guess we know who the Pinky is.
I think you meant, “Face paw.”
My personal theory, given that the first article described them as “ring-shaped structures,” is a Neanderthal Circus. I’m picturing woolly mammoths wearing sparkly pink vests. Don’t try to tell me they didn’t have glitter back then.
and dancing bears
I am not a geologist, but I think that if you grind up the appropriate mica-containing rock, you totally have a source of glitter that could have been used in ancient times.
Yes, this is totally science. *nod*
First rat-crabs, now builder bears. WHAT’S NEXT, NATURE?
So of course I had to google Rat-Crabs to see if that was a real thing and it is not a real thing but the related Google Images are still horrifying and I won’t be sleeping again ever thanks a lot Mallory.
I did the same thing which did lead to me learning that there are both crab-eating rats and rat-eating crabs in existence.
Current most popular comment on Mallory’s writing: “What will I do without the Toast?? Don’t leave us!”
Long time second most popular comment on Mallory’s writing: “You have stolen slumber from me again, you gleefully malevolent witch-queen. Toyed with my deepest unspoken terrors, shaken the integrity of my aching mind, and gently, lovingly twisted everything I hold tender and dear into a sinister parody of what it once was…
A+++ Would tremble at again.”
This relationship may be sick, but I don’t think I want to get well.
Thumbs up to everything in this comment!
I have heard that she is working on a book of terrifying, un-funny stories and I have never been so excited to never ever ever want to be alone in my house at night ever again.
Aha yeah! I heard that too; psyched to feel deeply discomfited and generally uneasy in my own skin!
There are not Rat-Crabs but there are these which is maybe the closest thing in existence?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_fairy_armadill…
The other day, a coworker noticed the Chernow Hamilton bio on my desk and said, “Oh, you’re reading about Alexander Hamilton! Did you know there’s a musical about him and it’s a smash hit and it’s winning all these awards?”
I got to look her dead in the eye and say, “Yes, I have tickets to it” and for a shining moment, I felt like the coolest person in the world. I would like to thank Nicole from the bottom of my heart for helping to make this happen.
Someone asked me the other day if I’d heard of it and I replied, “Yes, I have; which song would you like me to perform for you?” (we were at a bridal shower) (she didn’t answer the question) (seriously tho I know them all)
I don’t need any prompting to perform Right Hand Man at any moment. It’s become a problem in my relationships.
It’s my ringtone! I told my fiance that whenever I entered a room I wanted people to go “Here comes the generAL” so she gave me the next best thing. It makes me happy every time.
My ringtone is Groffsauce going “awesome, wow” and it garners me many delightfully confused looks.
Wow, Hamsplaining.
Nicely done.
I guess I self-select a lot, but EVERYONE I READ/INTERACT WITH ON THE INTERNET is obsessed with the damn musical that I find it hard to believe someone thinks it’s maybe obscure enough that you wouldn’t have heard of it.
This is where the Internet selection effect becomes so obvious, because basically no one I interact with on a regular basis knows about Hamilton at all. Maybe some vague notion that it exists, and that’s about it.
Bless my dear coworker for alerting me to the round of sales for Fall tickets. I bought the cheapest crappiest seats but at the actual ticket price, not bullshit ticketmaster approved scalper price, and I feel like a champion of the world for having them ahhhh I go in September and I can’t waaaaaait!
hahaha, yes! I feel like the closer it gets, the more “I have tickets to Hamilton” is just a little bit bordering on “I was chosen for the constitutional convention” voice. Luckily for me, no one I know IRL hates me yet, AFAIK. (but they don’t care about Hamilton really either)
You guyyyyyys
Whiptail lizards are my favorite (all females! all lesbians! they reproduce asexually but still have sex because it’s fun [I think?]!) but these are a close second.
That is awesome.
finally taking the ‘man’ out of ‘salamander’
I for one welcome our new salader overladies.
I prefer the term “saladyder.”
These lesbian separatist salamanders are the role model I didn’t know I needed.
“lesbian separatist salamanders” is a great band name
*takes notes*
“kleptogenesis” definitely goes in my notebook/diary.
A new addition to the list of Misandrist Animals!
I had not seen this post before and it is lovely.
it makes me really happy that you linked to this and I wish I had known about the salamanders when writing that piece!
STEALING DNA
Now we know what we need to do to finalize our plans for world domination.
Welp.
guys, i know this is soon to be obsolete, but how come when i try to add images i have to re-do it like seven times because intensedebate converts my quotes into “"”s and my <>s into some other tag etc etc?
1. They chose a perfect picture for that, with the perfect amount of narrow-eyed malevolence.
2. I’m not clear on how taking sperm from a packet that’s been left out for the purpose of impregnation counts as theft. They leave that there for the salawomynders to use!
The sperm deposits are from a different species of salamander, and it sounds like they aren’t impregnating themselves with it so much as triggering egg laying and occasionally using a little bit of new genetic material to keep things fresh? This quote:
“Through a mechanism science hasn’t completely worked out, unisexual salamanders are able to sidle over and steal DNA from these packets…The stolen genetic material triggers them to lay eggs virtually free of the unwitting sperm donors’ genes.”
So sneaky! Avoiding bros completely, while still gaining access to the only useful quality they possess.
“Through a mechanism science hasn’t completely worked out”
WITCHCRAFT
They’re just witches enough
How can I join their society?
I saw that headline on Twitter last night and my very first thought was “The Toasties will love this…”
This is an option?!?
Yes. Yes, this is good.
The cave article reminds me of this book I wrote in elementary school (some school moms would type up things you wrote and bind them like tiny books with wallpaper covers and you would draw the pictures yourself and it was the coolest thing for a child) after a family vacation to Mammoth Cave. It was called “Stalactite Excitement” and contained such dubious facts as “They’re called stalactites because they are tight on the ceiling.”
That is not a dubious fact. That is true!
Stalactite Excitement Now that is a band name!
Listen, it is fact that stalactites hang tite. That’s a fact.
a rock fact
Hold up. Nick Jonas is 23? Nick Jonas is younger than me
I’m not ready to be the same age or older the celebrities guys. Just stop ok? I need a few more years to adjust.
In this spirit I am ‘working from home’, which today mean dying my hair and watching Long Way Round again.
I get the same way when I watch hockey games now, and all the shiny new star players are 19 or 20.
Same for baseball.
When Bryce Harper was drafted and I realized that he was not just younger than me, but younger than my younger brother who played high school ball, there was a momentary freak out. SO YOUNG.
But then he started playing and I decided I could deal with it because GO NATS.
I wasn’t really into Harper at all, but then I saw the picture (which I can’t easily find right now, an utter travesty) of him in the flanner and hipster glasses. SOLD.
I am very into Bryce Harper, but: Nats fan. So. If he keeps hitting like crazy and making catches that look impossible, I’m happy. He does look great when he isn’t letting his beard get out of hand, what is up with my team’s facial hair?
Facial hair, man. Cashner and Quackenbush are the worst offenders on my team, although DEREK NORRIS IS OFFICIALLY ON NOTICE.
The newest star of the US women’s national soccer team is 17. The oldest player on the team played her first national team game before the youngest was born.
Christian Pulisic played last night for the USMNT and he is also 17. So so weird.
As I approach 30 I find myself in the unfamiliar position of thinking guys younger than me are hot. I frequently have to remind myself that it doesn’t make me a perv, it just means that I’m old.
Ugh I work on a college campus and sometimes there are attractive students and I recently realized that some of them might be 10 years younger than me… the weirdest was realizing that many of them likely don’t remember 9/11.
There are people born in 1999 that can vote this year.
I made a customer sooo embarrassed the other day by having to actually calculate his age, after checking his ID, because I genuinely could not believe that someone born in 1995 was legal to drink.
23 is super young, though; being older than that is not weird! He’s just an atypically young celebrity.
I gave up watching Olympic gymnasts when I turned 17 because I realized I was now older than all the pixies bursting around the stage. (Which means my last big Olympics gymnastics hurrah was Kim Zmeskal’s go at it. Poor Kim.)
Thumbs up for Zmeskal reference. I was a (lousy, low-level) competitive gymnast at the time in Oklahoma and I was stubbornly clinging to my Zmeskal love during that Olympics while everyone around me was losing their minds over Shannon Miller.
That’s the right response. Boo to Shannon Miller.
Zayn Malik is also 23…
Daya (from the Don’t Let Me Down song on the radio these days) is 17. 17. She was born in 1998.
It never gets any easier. Every time I am reminded that I am actually a couple of years older than Tom Hiddleston I am surprised all over again.
I liked Neighbors 2 better because that breast milk scene in the first one weirdly rubbed me the wrong way, and in the second one Kelsey Grammer had a special appearance as My Actual Dad For Real Tho.
So this is your standard Buzzfeed autocorrect listicle but may I draw your attention to number 16.
Super manicure and breastmilk. Super manicure vs breastmilk. I’m never calling them anything else from now until the end of time.
I really like whoa potato as an expression of excitement!
The ones where they try to correct it and things just keep getting worse had me in tears. I really needed a laugh today–thanks for sharing!
A Toastie is born.
MOTTSAPPLESAUCE did me in. i am no more.
Okay, but if you were the latest death on Everest, what is the one thing you would be a Vocal Defender Of?
Mine would most likely be “Vocal Defender of One Thing: Steve Rogers is Not HYDRA”
Oh my god, hands down that’s what I would be.
“Vocal Defender of One Thing: The Forbidden Love of Chuck Bass and Dan Humphrey”
OF COURSE HE’S NOT HYDRA FOR FUCK’S SAKE WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
I know zilch about Marvel–I have trouble remembering which is Daredevil and which is Deadpool–and even I know that’s some serious WTF.
“Devolution is not ‘reverse evolution’!”
“Keanu Reeves is an underrated actor”
“Enjoy ‘John Wick 2’ for me.”
*shuffles off mortal coil*
“The Difference between ‘Exit’ and ‘Exeunt'”
STILL THE BEST GIF OF ALL TIME
I just realized why they needed that random-ass black-streaked Bucky!Cap-looking redesign. They had to make Steve over, take the flag off and add the laziest villain signifiers, for him to look remotely capable of being a sooper sekrit Nazi.
I’m sure this is some sort of deep cover spy assignment, and will be reversed within two issues.
“Vocal Defender of the Oxford Comma”
We need to form a club ASAP.
What are the dues for a lifetime membership?
take all my money, I will be a member regardless
Now that’s a club that I would be proud to belong to.
“Possibly the Most Vocal Defender of Jupiter Ascending”
SUCH A GOOD MOVIE
GIVE EDDIE REDMAYNE ANOTHER OSCAR FOR THAT PERFORMANCE. IT IS A MASTERPIECE.
ACADEMY AWARD FOR BEST WHISPER-SCREAMING WHILE DRESSED LIKE A FUCKING BAT
And now I will actually watch this film. I was so excited when the film was announced, and then the delay, the reviews, etc. But I’m not sure where else I’ll see anyone “whisper-screaming while dressed like a fucking bat.”
Spoiler alert: Sean Bean doesn’t die in this movie.
“I CREATE LIFE!!!!!!”
and i destroy it
He deserves an Oscar for it. One of my favorite parts of the movie was that they split Seymour from Final Fantasy X into TWO villains and they BOTH had incest vibes going.
Vocal Defender of yeah ok, but do you know what really happened at Jonestown it’s not like everyone was just having a kool-aid party people were murdered that day and don’t you think it’s a bit reductionist to make their deaths into a punchline?
(too long for an obit?)
It wasn’t even Kool-Aid(tm)! It was an off-brand and poor Kool-Aid has to suffer the bad PR of the punchline.
Seriously everything about the way this case is portrayed in the public makes my eye twitch!
Someone did a pretty good documentary for the anniversary a few years back and I was horrified at how much bigger it was than I had thought. I guess I thought it was a Hale Bopp sized tragedy- which was sad enough, but it’s easy to see how a few dozen people can get involved in something like that, but not hundreds.
Vocal Defender of OF COURSE EDITORS ARE STILL NEEDED, spell check is not the same thing!!
I am editing a resume for a computer guy right now and I feel this so much.
They find our bodies frozen side-by-side on the avalanche-scarred slope. Our icy hands cling to a banner. They unfurl it. “Save the copy editors,” it reads. “Save the copy editors.”
I am so glad we could be together at the end.
I would like to write this on a brick and throw it at SEVERAL well-established, published authors I’ve read…
Shit, I’d like to write this on a brick and throw it through the windows of several major publisher’s offices.
I love how this is supposed to be Canon Steve Rogers (aka, no really, the really real one, guys) and he’s been secret Hydra all along? Did anyone tell Molijer before he lifted it that one time? Is Molijer secretly cool with Hydra/Nazis?
It’s lazy writing, and I have a hard time believing the writers aren’t Fake Geek Boys with this kind of shit.
It’s either lazy writing, or the famous switch on a switch on a switch.
Yeah, maybe, and since he’s already done the usual shock value things of dying and stepping away from being Cap etc etc etc they needed something else to up the sales. It’s still fucking lazy and disrespectful to his Jewish creators.
Also, if he has been a Hydra double agent this whole time (triple agent if you’re right) he’s REALLY shit at it. They shoulda fired him.
Also disrespectful to everything that Captain America has ever been.
Damn straight.
Maybe Loki did a spell that rewrote reality? And the issue will be about everybody fixing it, because they can just tell that this whole thing makes no damn sense.
That sounds like a good possibility. I’ve also seen the idea floated that it was Red Skull planting false memories in Steve’s brain when Red Skull had stolen Professor X’s brain. (just typing that gives me a headache, no way do I know enough about these comics)
But I’m glad I can talk about this on The Toast because I feel anywhere else and I’d just be feeding into the Marvel hype machine that they want.
Goddamnit, Red Skull.
I mean, he was made young again by Kobik, who is a being made up of shards of the Cosmic Cube, which alters realty, so sure it might be technically Steve Rogers but obviously it’s not our Steve Rogers. So now I’m putting my chips on AU Steve (whose beaten mom apparently may have joined Hydra as…a…domestic violence support group?), and if the Cosmic Cube started this mess, then it’ll probably finish it. No matter what they do with this, it’s still lazy, and it won’t be worth the outrageous offense to the Jewish comics community, Jack Kirby and Joe Simon, and the very ideals of Captain America himself.
It’s very obviously a calculated ploy to take media attention away from the other major comics event that released yesterday, DC’s Rebirth #1. How many people are talking about that mindfuck of a first issue? No one. From a marketing standpoint, this is working perfectly.
http://panels.net/2016/05/26/on-steve-rogers-1-an…
http://nativehueofresolution.tumblr.com/post/1448…
+ ∞
Vocal Defender of Animal Cuteness (“Look, guys, that spider is adorable, okay? Look at its little eyes!”)
euuuugh oh god just reading your parenthetical made me want to stop eating lunch. hi, arachnophobia.
Please tell me you’ve seen that video of the sand spider trying to hide and failing while narrated with a terrible French accent. Even before I was cured of my arachnophobia I thought that video was hilarious and adorable.
I HAVE. It’s such an excellent video. (and apparently my browser has logged me out
Are you me? Because one of my coworkers brought in a spider to show everyone today and I MAY have inappropriately loudly squealed over how cute it was.
Vocal Defender of the NBA crippling women’s basketball by making sure its network partners covered the WNBA and not the ABL thus ensuring women’s professional basketball in America would be treated as a novelty adjunct to the men’s game for two decades and counting.
“Vocal Defender of One Thing: The Whole Point of Gundam is that War is Terrible”
Vocal Defender of I don’t make snide comments about your SF/F books, so can you please stop insisting that all literary fiction is boring and no one actually enjoys reading it?
(Vocal Defender of the difference between compliment/complement and discrete/discreet on alternate Tuesdays.)
Oh my god, I’ll die on the hill of break/brake and pedal/peddle.
Vocal Defender of One Thing: That’s Not What “Begging The Question” Means
Vocal defender of “Just eating things that you like to eat, goddamn it, Brenda, yes I am eating half a wedge of brie for lunch, what of it?”
Also Steve Rogers is not Hydra.
Has Nicole’s piece in Christianity Today been linked here yet?? (I mean, I assume it has somewhere, but I missed it.)
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2016/june/nic…
This is really interesting to me, as a content and established agnostic who has always wondered How Faith Even Works.
thank you!
This tiny blurb in my local mag made my day brighter- an angry man goes to a restaurant and only leaves 2 quarters for tip. The waitress is a coin collector and can immediately tell one of them is a rare counterfeit quarter worth about $45.
Haaaaaa. I love this.
Holy shit the cosmic justice on that is wonderful.
Oh, so that’s what Karma’s been up to. Next can it please focus on Donald Trump though? HE HAS IT COMING.
This is a good story.
Also, thank you so much for the Toast Post! Your avocado greatly improves the appearance and educational level of my fridge. I would write you back, but I don’t have your return address. If you would like me to, email me at kalogan at gmail
I want to learn to sew just so I can make lots of boxers out of this fabric and give them to all my friends https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1juiyf/at…
Here is the entire Alexander Henry “pin-ups” category of fabric prints, please enjoy. I like the Haunting Hunks especially.
That link didn’t work but I looked it up and this one does. Whoa mama. http://www.ahfabrics.com/collections/category/318…
I wish I had any idea what IntenseDebate’s deal was, because this is the second or third time I’ve put a link in a comment that works fine when I click on it but other people tell me it is not working. WHY, IntenseDebate? And also, HOW? Anyway, I’m glad you were able to find them, they are amazing.
it’s ULTRA weird because the actual url for you and sabinabemani is identical ???
anyway i can’t decide which of these three I want to invest in for all my mini pouch sewing.
Las Senoritas http://www.ahfabrics.com/collections/category/345… (I love the sombrero lady that looks like Rita Hayworth)
Island Girls http://www.ahfabrics.com/collections/category/343…
The Great Outdoors http://www.ahfabrics.com/collections/category/358…
they’re so campy it’s so great.
(I also love many of the non-pinup fabrics, especially the tiki/hula sets, and this arrow print: http://www.ahfabrics.com/collections/category/109… — I think maybe the quilting itch is coming back, and I need my felon relative to go to prison already so i can set my sewing machine back up in the guestroom, and also ask Sarah_JHW for Skype lessons to really do justice to these fabrics)
Totally want to make a dress with Mirage or Island Girls now
One Halloween Joann Fabrics had a similar print that was clearly a Twilight knockoff. I’m still mad at myself for not making anything with it.
THEY HAVE SEASONAL ONES TOO SO YOU CAN GET HOT MAN FABRIC FOR ALL THE MAJOR HOLIDAYS.
Whew. Sorry, I am a quilting nerd and see them all the time and it’s embarrassing to talk to other people about it.
After a long being sucked into the fabric.com black hole, now I want to make a sundress for myself out of this ridiculous cat fabric.
Have you seen this: http://www.blogforbettersewing.com/2013/08/kitty-…
It’s glorious!
Ahhh she is amazing. Thank you for linking, because I keep forgetting to buy her dang dress book and also put her blog on my feedly.
IT’S ON SALE! and only 16 left!
it is ridiculous and also fantastic. It’s all the best things about those magazine-paste collages you see in mock Edwardian scrapbooks in movies.
There was a little bit of Doc Talk in yesterday’s post, and I just want to add what I watched last night:
Welcome to Leith – maddening. White supremacist attempts to take over small North Dakota town. Even the folks on the right side of things do things that aren’t good. The hate from the hate groups is just incomprehensible to me.
Chuck Norris vs Communism – this is a look into how Romanians had a black market of dubbed American films. There were re-enactments as well as first person accounts, and they have a collection of Romanians talking about how they loved and watched movies in secret under the Ceaucescu regime. The way this was done was so delightful and I really enjoyed this film.
I have not seen Chuck Norris vs Communism. Do they get to talk with this woman who did the voice dubs on, like, all of the bootlegged western films? http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/dec/25/holl…
YES!! And several of the folks they talk to discuss how they imagined her, how she was everything being the voice of all those movies.
Okay I am now all about watching this film.
Welcome to Leith has been circling that on Netflix and I’ve avoided it so far. I am just afraid of my giant explosion of rage that will more than likely happen.
I imagine The Great Heathen Army as being like the Polyphonic Spree but all dudes dressed in furs with beards and undercuts and just tunelessly roaring all the words to their songs.
All songs devolve into fights. Scuffling erupts into punching. An alto picks up a soprano and uses her to belt a tenor. Someone’s arm gets cut off and they use it to beat their assailant.
every concert just doubles as an episode of Vikings
Maybe it’s the band all of the fight scene extras decide to form in their downtime?
Off-stage, the band and their fans are the nicest people ever, because they get all their rage out at the show.
*swoons*
ONLY SOMEHOW LESS ANNOYING THAN POLYPHONIC SPREE.
Dorothy Allison should re-release Cavedweller with a foreword by Mallory.
In reponse to an acquaintance’s Facebook post talking about how awful it is that so many news sources are mocking the climber who died on Everest for making a big deal of being vegab, one person posted this response:
“Its the sheer irony of it thought. That’s what’s funny. Not the actual death. Just like how it’s hilarious when anti vax parents end up with terminally ill children over their stupidity.” {very much sic]
… I don’t think either of those things is funny. I am confident assuming that this person is a monster.
(My former manager’s brother-in-law died in one of the big Everest disasters. I will never, ever climb it, and am very comfortable with that decision.)
Also, while I agree that it isn’t funny when children die because they aren’t vaccinated, there is a degree of irony there. I can’t see the irony in ‘man who dies on Everest was vegan.’ I suppose because he didn’t like killing things and then he died? Doesn’t work, does it.
I assumed it was yet another “lol I guess vegans don’t get enough protein” “joke”… ugh.
This climber was, apparently, partly climbing Everest as “a mission to prove vegans were capable of extreme physical challenges”, having written about it on her university’s website. But still, not funny.
Oh OK, that makes more sense.
VERY sic. SIC much.
Sic transit decentia
Irony =/= humor
They overlap sometimes but that’s a Venn diagram, folks, not a fucking circle
Nick, honey, posing nude doesn’t “prove” you’re an adult now. People will not take you more seriously.
This is the same line photographers/artists have been giving women since time began
He should maybe take a few more pictures, just to be sure? I mean, those abs aren’t going to ogle themselves.
He has very fine abs, but they are not making me take him more seriously as an artist.
Unless that IS his ART in which case, Mission Accomplished, Nick.
Google has patented a method for keeping a pedestrian stuck to the hood of a car after they’ve been hit.
As a spokesperson for the American Physical Society told Gizmodo, “Getting hit by a car once is much preferable to getting hit by a car and then the ground and another car,” and I’m not sure they needed a physicist to establish that but it seems right. Of course, it would be ideal if the self-driving car could not hit pedestrians in the first place, but no matter how good it is, that is going to happen sooner or later.
That’s quite the image.
Everything that’s wrong of technology: “Of course, it would be ideal if the self-driving car could not hit pedestrians in the first place, but no matter how good it is, that is going to happen sooner or later.”
As a pedestrian, I can totally confirm that i would rather have bots hit me at random than have to deal with the assholes in Lexuses that speed up when they see me crossing the street.
Right? When did this become a thing. I don’t even try to cross if I see a BMW, Lexus, Mercedes, or Audi coming my direction, even if it’s two blocks away.
Always, it turns out: http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/business-jan-june1…
I cross. I cross and glare at them, like, come at me, bro. I might lose the fight, but I swear to christ, I WILL TAKE YOU WITH ME. I have never been hit, maybe this attitude would change if i had been?
And this, too! http://www.treehugger.com/cars/study-reveals-obvi…
Wow… There was a part of me that sort of thought, “Well, maybe you just notice it more when it is a luxury car.”
The next time I’m aggressively cut off by a BMW, I’ll just remember those graphs, take a few deep breaths, and try to quell my inner New Jerseyan.
Ehhhhh. I mean. That’s why cars have seat belts. And air bags. Yeah, it would be better if nobody ever crashed their car into anything ever, but it’s gonna happen. Both humans and computers make mistakes.
Awful yet slightly comforting at the same time.
The first thought that popped into my head upon reading this was “oh, is it velcro?” which i think means it is time for a nap
Can we make a new rule that brands aren’t allowed to just talk to you on twitter unless you’re talking about them? like the kind-of-fancy mexican place in my neighborhood shouldn’t be allowed to tweet me about hockey, it’s weird
During my internet wandering I found a delightful website run by a sincerely Mallory-esque Lebanese-American man who is extremely passionate about combating the denial of Phoenician heritage, which charmingly looks like it was designed in the late 90s.
The front page includes such headlines as “I Accuse Eurocentrics, Judeocentrics, Arabists and Evangelical Fundamentalist for Stifling Phoenician History” and also this disclaimer:
“Those who are displeased with my statements on these books are invited to leave this site immediately — no discussions. Heretical Evangelicals a.k.a. Fundamentalist Christians, conservative Jews or Muslims, consider yourselves duly warned that you will be severely dealt with, if you do not stop badgering me with your related impudent e-mails. You may not question my opinion on the didactic but non-literal interpretation of holy books. ”
http://www.phoenicia.org/ highly recommended
How about this facebook group for people who believe in geocentrism? TROLL-FREE. Posts about the Flat Earth are off-topic and WILL BE DELETED. https://www.facebook.com/groups/geocentricity/
Because association with Flat Earthers is the thing that discredits the geocentrism movement. Right.
Any takers for the annual Dirty Dancing festival this year?? http://www.dirtydancingfestival.com
Excuse me but this is the best news story I’ve ever seen http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/cr…
I want to buy this bird a pint and ask it about its adventures.
I like how committed Canuck is to being peak dirtbag at all times.
From his facebook page:
noooooo
it’s too much, I can’t
Dirtbag crow, heart of my heart!
I would like to see this bird star in Dirtbag Hamlet
Not sure which sentence I like better: “The crow was persistent, but the knife was eventually gathered as evidence,” Const. Brian Montague said in an email.
or The bird was also spotted sitting on the roof of the burned car and trying to get into a camera operator’s gear.
I read that second sentence and was like: have these people not seen The Crow? He obviously knows who did it. Why are they not taking him more seriously?
yess Canuck the Corvid Crime-Fighter
Total fucking heart eyes, I love this bird and everything he represents.
Literally everything about this story is perfect.
– I’d still like to start a band called Hell’s Kitchenette.
– I’m going to assume that the Neanderthals used the rings to teleport off this sick, sad world, knowing what an absolute cock-up the Homo Sapiens would make of it. Ditto for the smarter dinosaurs.
– The worst thing about the second “newser” is that I originally read it as “surgery left mom with 80-pound scrotum.”
I’d be pretty happy if I never read or hear “wielding masculinity/femininity” again.
100% strongly agree.
Advance warning of pedantry:
“Nearly everything the R&B-dipped, media-proclaimed sex machine has done since then has been a meticulous, high-profile effort to strip (quite literally!) his image of anything adolescent and usher him into the next strata of pop stardom: adulthood”
STRATUM. Dammit.
Also, Great Heathen Army pedantry: I never heard that phrase when I was studying the Anglo Saxon Chronicle, but it’s interesting that the Danish army is always referred to as “the here” and the Anglo-Saxon one as the “fyrd.” Good guy armies and bad guy armies need different words. (There may be more to it than that. I am not a military history expert.)
I am here for all “CW: Pedantry”.
Ooo the here/fyrd distinction is something I remember getting a lecture on in a grad course on the Peterborough Chronicle! Let me dredge up some misty memories or see if I can find my notes!
ETA: Ugh, brain too soupy, it’s also been about umpty million years since I was actually in school. I think there was some distinction made between professional soldiers (paid? experience? IDK) and rustled up bands of folk. My prof used to jokingly call one set varsity and one set JV, but to my ever living shame I don’t remember which was which or why. I do remember that one term suggests a better organized force. Ish.
Or here is a note that sums it all up a million times more clearly.
Still a little obscure to me; are they saying the Danes had a unified national force but the Anglo-Saxons had to rely on mercenaries? How come?
Oh sorry! I muddied the water with my muddied remembering. Long story short, by the 11th century, the terms were being used interchangeably, but before then: they were both levied forces on their respective sides and in that sense, analogous, but the fyrd was a kind of militia called up mostly for home defense and consisting of a certain number of whomever was living in a certain area, some of whom might reasonably be assumed to be crap at fighting. Kind of a mess of everyone who was available. Whereas, in contrast heres would often be a more organized force bc they were drafted and structured differently and were basically the away-team, all-stars who got some status perks (I think). So both levied, but one team usually more capable and battle-hardened, as it were.
That makes lots of sense! It was the source you found that confused me, actually.
Of course the Chronicle is rooting for the Anglo-Saxons so they’d want the teams to be distinct even if the words didn’t need to be different. (I wonder in common spoken usage whether there were further Implications.)
Can we PLEASE talk about this thread at DWIL? There was controversy for a while that it was made up, but by god, I think it’s real and it’s awful. Short story: OP plans vacation to Mexico with fiance. Fiance invites his mother. It’s satisfying in all the right ways and horrifying. http://community.babycenter.com/post/a62791180/mi…
Thank you, that is amazing. But I can’t read all 176 pages of comments, so can you spoil it for me? Does she get her own room?
Also, she should thank her lucky fucking stars for such a clear sign of needing to GTFO.
Use this! http://sleepycow.org/bsc/.
That widget is amazing. Thank you!
(& shout out to clevermanka for the gif!)
Bless you for this.
Thank you, that is amazing.
The full story is even better than I possibly could have dreamed.
holy shit I read all million pages this is fantastic
She does! And her friends join her.
Oh my god. This reminds me of an alarming amount of r/relationships questions about mothers-in-law that include the detail that said mothers-in-law insisted on ALSO getting a ring when their sons proposed. Is that a thing?!
Oh, so that’s the distaff counterpart of father-daughter prom dances. I did wonder, but tried not to find out.
OH MY GOD THAT IS SO GROSS AAAHHHHH
what
WHAT
I’m using the post-crawler widget to see only the OP’s posts, and I just got to this: “”That is because MIL is old and doesn’t live with her children anymore so that makes MD [Mother’s Day] all the more special for her, and because DD lives with me everyday is like MD for me.”
WHAT. Get out the bees and the wicker statue. This guy’s the worst.
Yeah this seems . . . very alarmingly real? And ever indicative of the horror that lies in wait for us all after the oxytocin high wears off.
I haven’t even gotten past the picture of the turtle. “This is Dereck.” I love this woman.
“I knowwww you’re right, i just wanted to keep the peace. But now I have Dereck and Dereck gives me strength. “
Dereck is really the hero of the story.
This thread is so immensely satisfying. I’m so glad OP kicked that dude to the curb!
Me, too. She is my new hero.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if she made a guest appearance in the last “Hey, Ladies” to drop some truth bombs? Ahhhhh.
Oh man.
THANK YOU for bringing this into my life.
Update: I’ve re-read this three separate times today. Is it fake? In the middle of the thread she posted screenshots that made a lot of people suspicious, but had an explanation for it. It doesn’t seem fake to me, especially the weird little details that are included. Right?
OH my god, that was engrossing. Thanks for sharing!
I love when they re-release movies in theaters!
It’s going to be fun seeing Fast and Furious again.
I apologize for the lateness of Toast Summer Care Package Exchange match emails. I’m still working on compiling everything – it has been a rough week. :/
That’s fine! I hope your week gets better. 🙁 I’m glad for the update though haha, because I’ve been hearing about Toast Post stuff and I haven’t done any of these before so I was kind of going OH NO IS THAT THE THING? DID MY MATCH EMAIL GET LOST? DID THEY NOT WANT ME?
Thank you for doing this, and I hope your week gets better!
You’re wonderful! I hope your week gets better.
I hope your week is getting better! If you need a hand email me at cheeky.cl at gmail. I’m happy to pitch in!
yes, if you need help just shout — lauren at my username dot com
I cannot express how stupidly excited I am to get my match.
That’s totally okay! Hope things get better for you soon & thank you for letting us know!
OT, but it’s my birthday, and I’m very bored at work, and all I’m doing tonight is seeing Love and Friendship (again, because it’s amazing), alone. Yay for kinda pathetic birthdays!
Happy birthday!
That movie looks great!
I loved that movie! I saw it alone and now am trying to get all my friends to see it. Have a very happy birthday no matter what you are doing. 🙂
I still can’t figure out if my local theater is going to show Love and Friendship and I think I will throw myself down a well, sobbing, if I don’t get to see it soon.
Not to make it worse, but it’s completely perfect and you have to find it!!!
happy birthday!
That Jonas article is could be titled, “How we would talk about Miley Cyrus if she had had the good sense to be born male.”
Ok but also Miley Cyrus went a little….yikeso. Jonas is going hypersexual for the purpose of enticing his audience; Cyrus is using her sexuality for herself (yay!) and her ~wacky~ “personality” (opposite of yay!) for the public and it’s falling flat. There are plenty of childhood stars hitting all the right notes- Gomez for instance. Cyrus is extremely problematic as a persona, and unfortunately her learning curve is happening in the limelight while Jonas is being painstakingly careful about what he shows the public.
Ok I’m like 98% sure Nick Jonas came out of the closet at some point??? Did I dream this???
I wanted to add this link: http://www.lrb.co.uk/v38/n11/naomi-klein/let-them…
Naomi Klein’s Edward Said lecture.
Excerpt:
“Fossil fuels aren’t the sole driver of climate change – there is industrial agriculture, and deforestation – but they are the biggest. And the thing about fossil fuels is that they are so inherently dirty and toxic that they require sacrificial people and places: people whose lungs and bodies can be sacrificed to work in the coal mines, people whose lands and water can be sacrificed to open-pit mining and oil spills. As recently as the 1970s, scientists advising the US government openly referred to certain parts of the country being designated ‘national sacrifice areas’. Think of the mountains of Appalachia, blasted off for coal mining – because so-called ‘mountain top removal’ coal mining is cheaper than digging holes underground. There must be theories of othering to justify sacrificing an entire geography – theories about the people who lived there being so poor and backward that their lives and culture don’t deserve protection. After all, if you are a ‘hillbilly’, who cares about your hills? Turning all that coal into electricity required another layer of othering too: this time for the urban neighbourhoods next door to the power plants and refineries. In North America, these are overwhelmingly communities of colour, black and Latino, forced to carry the toxic burden of our collective addiction to fossil fuels, with markedly higher rates of respiratory illnesses and cancers.”
Omg…June 1 is next week. I thought we had another month.
we do, it’s July 1.
Oh! Thank you! Yay!
Has anyone read today’s Dear Prudence today? The bf of the adopted letter writer who broke up with her because she “doesn’t understand family”? Rage spiral here.
The whole trope that people from non-standard/sub-ideal upbringings are broken weirdos who don’t deserve happiness pisses me off immeasurably. See also media coverage of Drew Barrymore’s divorce.
Oh, that hit a little too close to home for me.
Where does that idea even come from? It’s so nonsensical–that people who have easy families/upbringings have them because they *deserve* them, and the people who have difficult families/upbringings are in that position because they’re just bad people. The only explanation I can come up with is that some people find the idea of a lousy family of origin upsetting, so they convince themselves it could never happen to them because of good and deserving they are, or something.
Anyway, close to home for me too. :/
so the American History Museum did this annual potluck thing, this year based on 1950s recipes from their collection and I just saw a tweet from this morning with this photo:
Caption: We ate this. For history. http://s.si.edu/1950sFood
( http://twitter.com/amhistorymuseum/status/7358708… )
so A of all, props to the AmHistory folks for their fantastic social media presence and #2 how the heck do you eat a weiner crown roast? like, do you slice it like a cake or what?!??
I am endlessly amused by horrifying 50’s recipes.
It is at least half the reason I am a devotee of Vintage_ads, which is at least half the reason I still visit my LiveJournal account daily.
Good god, what is the…stuff in the middle? Shudder.
I just asked the twitter team, but tbh I suspect it’s cauliflower and bacon, based on my knowledge of advertisements from that era.
It looks like it might be diced potatoes mixed with god-knows-what? (Bacon? Onions?)
!!! National news radio has a slideshow of all the foods that were served: http://federalnewsradio.com/people/2016/04/1950s-…
It’s kind of fantastic ngl
I laughed, I cried, I showed it to my officemate and watched her make the BEST FACE of horrified disgust!
haha I am still obsessed with these mysterious weight watcher diet cards from the 70s.
These cards mystify me. None of them have calorie or nutrition information of any kind, and in some instances it’s hard to tell what’s dietetic about the recipes at all, except that they’re unspeakably grim. And yet also, completely insane. They appear to be from a much kookier era of Weight Watchers. There’s a certain serve-it-at- your-next-key-party freakiness to a lot of these dishes.
That is the stuff of nightmares. I want that ceramic dish, though. I covet many pieces of my mom’s old cookware.
We have one like it, with tiny little handles sticking off the sides and everything! Now that I think of it, it’s our go-to serving dish for hot dogs. That’s a weird coincidence right there.
Excellent coincidence. My mom had that same dish. Maybe still does.
Nick Jonas is one year younger than me and all these celebrities who are my age and wildly celebrated and doing things with themselves is profoundly upsetting my Mental Health (I mean congrats but why)
Ladies, I had a Pap smear, and the doctor didn’t ridicule me for finding it painful! A first!
How I Would Talk About Miley Cyrus If She Didn't Do The Tongue Poking Thing, That's Really All I Have A Problem With.
thank you!
The first thought that popped into my head upon reading this was "oh, is it velcro?" which i think means it is time for a nap