This is is The Triumph of Death, painted in 1562 by Pieter Bruegel the Elder. It’s in Madrid’s Prado museum, and it’s my favorite painting in the world, you guys. It’s a memento mori, the genre of painting devoted to reminding you that you’re totally, 100% going to die someday, so you’d better get your afterlife real estate situation sorted out now. Most of these take on a somber, serious tone — as you would expect — but The Triumph of Death takes it on with a kind of manic glee, like when movie characters that survive the end of the world realize they can have as many fur coats and Maseratis as they can grab. It’s a deeply serious philosophical work on the inevitability of death that can also be scored to the GREMLINS soundtrack. According to Bruegel, “being dead” means hanging out with your skeleton pals and tormenting the living — which is a way better afterlife than the current alternates. Just look this:
Skeletons help out other skeletons — unlike treacherous, self-interested mortals.
Skeletons serve whimsical meals consisting of their own heads! Skeletons disrupt boring dinner parties with wax masks! Skeletons play hurdy-gurdys at couples giving PDA! This should be celebrated and encouraged.
Look at this face. Being human and alive is for the birds. Skeletons get to take what they want, murder whoever they want, and wear fab robes. If anyone asks, I’m voting Skeleton Army this year.
This feels like the right place for me to note that I once attended the March of a Thousand Flaming Skeletons and it was awesome.
Yep. Studying Art History made me want a bunch of ‘skeletons doing silly things’ tattoos, and this has reminded me. Thanks!
Could I put in one vote for Skeleton Clock and another vote for Skeleton Playing Steel Drums Righteously?
absolutely! I always wanted a whole danse macabre/skeleton party
I am distraught that we have only a bit more than two and a half weeks left with which to use the phrase “It’s always Skeleton Time” along with “Too Witches.” If that isn’t the best lesson in impermanence I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS.
No, those are the things we should carry forward so that their memory never fades.
I want tote bags with both on them
I want a tote bag with that righteous drumming skeleton, too.
If I had a dollar for every Toast tote bag I wanted I’d have at LEAST $100.
I will never stop using “Too Witches” which is probably some sort of lesson in… something.
The Toast is just too witches for this world :'(
shutupshutupshutup
*stuffs fingers in ears, hums loudly*
If you think the end of the Toast is gonna stop me from using the phrase “too witches” at every opportunity you couldn’t be more wrong.
I watched a movie recently where Sebastian Stan turns out to be a bratty witch. I have no idea what else happened, plot-wise, but I got a lot of mileage out of “too witches.”
WHAT IS THIS MOVIE
It’s called The Covenant and I’ve completely spoiled the ending, but I think that’s okay because it is Not what one would call a “good movie.”
However, SebStan gets punched in the face and loves it, which is worth the price of admission, or would have been if I’d paid money to see it.
It’s a memento mori, the genre of painting devoted to reminding you that you’re totally, 100% going to die someday
SCREW THAT NO I’M NOT *punches painting in the glorious tradition of the Toast*
Hear, hear! Tell corpses to suck an egg!
This was one of the first things I ever read on The Toast, thank you so much for bringing me full circle *sniff*
Dem bones had it all.
I’m a little disappointed that the painting doesn’t show the best part of being a skeleton – being able to play xylophone on each other’s ribs.
I’m partial to the skeleton buddies hanging back by the shore, which I never noticed until George Lazenby pointed them out in an essay:
…beyond the weeping tree where a man has been hung from a fork by a nail through his neck, just past the three crucified bodies that have been set on fire, there are two skeletons. They are standing on a cliff, arm in arm, and one of them gestures appreciatively towards the sea.
This picture should perhaps be the last post of The Toast.
The skeleton Frog and Toad!
*weeps*
This whole thread is too pure, too witches for this world.
Waving to the giant bird.
That’s sweet.
George Lazenby, noted Bond actor?
That’s what they call themselves, at least. Roger Ebert liked to believe it was the George Lazenby, mostly “because he doesn’t make any such claim in his bio.”
This has always been one of my favorite paintings since I was a child. My mother was very worried about this.
Looting Skeleton in 3rd from bottom is WEARING A PEOPLE MASK. I am equal parts awe and amusement.
also subtle payback for all the Halloween appropriation via costume?
I’m amazed that this painting never made it into an episode of Hannibal. You’d think Bryan Fuller would have been all over that.
Unless it did, and I’ve forgotten because of the brain raccoons.
brain raccoons. BRAIN. RACCOONS.
(I have no idea about Hannibal… I just am in awe of the phrase, and will be using it in the future.)
In this case, referring to encephalitis that made a character think he heard a raccoon trapped in his chimney. For further details, see Cleolinda’s Hannibal recaps on LJ. They’re marvelous reading, even if you don’t watch the show.
Thanks, I think I will. I just like the florid imagery of brain raccoons as a description of the ravages of time on memory, but context will probably only improve it.
Yeah, Hannibal brain raccoons are way more horrifying than that. Although I do enjoy your description.
This painting is amazing! Is the live guy in the second-last photo, top left, wearing flesh-coloured tights or has he been stripped and castrated?
Meat folks why do you resist?!? The Skelebros are clearly having a better time than you. Look at that dude witht the drums, he is deading his best death
Finally, an afterlife I can get behind
In the skeleton head meal picture, I can see one of the skeletons is joining a red-clad lady in starting a conga line. I hope heaven is just one eternal skeleton conga party.
This soothes me. Utterly disgusted with the endless stream of ‘let go or be dragged’ messages. Let go of what exactly? Oh…..fear of death. I get it now.
this painting is about death, you see, as in the impending death of the toast 🙁 and i might not even get to be a skeleton when that happens oh my god
I will never not upvote Adventure Time.
This is the most Tumblr post on The Toast.
a bit spooky 😐
Lute dude in 3d from the bottom has JUST found his sound, and wouldn’t you know… The Apocalypse.