Fuck you right into eternity if you try to pretend even for a second that you are not consumed with jealousy for this man, that you would not be in exactly his position if you possessed the merest suggestion of a spine:
A man who punched a hole through a painting worth nearly £8 million painting has been jailed.
Andrew Shannon, 49, ruined the Claude Monet masterpiece hanging in the National Gallery Ireland in 2012 by attacking it in front of stunned art lovers.
On Thursday a court finally brought him to justice for his crime.
The famous painting, titled Argenteuil Basin with a Single Sailboat, was left with a large hole through the middle of it.
It is valued at $10 million (£7.8 million).
Mr Shannon told the police after his arrest he committed the thoughtless act of vandalism in an attempt to ‘get back at the state.’
1. That is a perfectly good way to get back at the state.
2. Look at how incredibly satisfying that punch-hole is. Just imagine punching through an old piece of art with your own hand. It feels incredible. Don’t pretend you’re not thinking about it.
3. Monet painted like 800 paintings of sailboats, we’re not exactly hurting for pastel dots in the shape of old French boats, as a society, and also Monet is dead. It’s not like this guy punched something rare.
4. DON’T PRETEND YOU’RE TOO GOOD TO WANT TO PUNCH ART. YOU’RE JUST RULED BY YOUR FEARS. THIS MAN IS BRAVER THAN US ALL.
5. Like you’ve never wanted to just fuck up some art or something
6. Look at that idyllic goddamn scene, there’s like one and a half colors in it, this painting looks like it is asleep. This painting needed a good punch in the middle to liven things up.
7. I would give anything in the word to hit a very old drawing of a boat right in the canvas. This man is living his best life, and the rest of us are shadows on the wall.
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.