Oh, two monks, I think I’m going to miss you most of all.
Two Medieval Monks Invent Maps
Two Medieval Monks Invent Some More Art
Two Monks Invent The Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood
Two Monks Illustrate The Old Testament
Two Monks Invent Denominations
Two Monks Invent Dinner Parties
Two Monks Invent Religious Iconography
Two Monks Discover How Tall Women and Horses Are
Two Monks Discuss Alexander the Great
Two Monks Learn How To Draw Hands
Two Monks Invent Renaissance Art
Two Monks Invent Byzantine Art
Two Monks Invent Horses and Armed Warfare
OH NO
I really hope the Two Monks land on their feet after The Toast closes. Maybe a sitcom on CBS? Two Broke Monks. How I Invented Your Mother. Two and a Half Monks. Everybody Loves Monks.
Seriously though, this was my favourite series on The Toast. Thanks so much Mallory, you’re amazing.
They should pitch a show to USA. Monk was pretty popular, Two Monks would double the ratings!
“It’s a jungle out there. Jungles are one tree, three bushes, and a dragon, right?”
It takes a lot to make an art
A crazy looking face, in part
A scoop of limbs disproportional
Just a dash of the worshipful, and you’ve got
Two Many Monks…
Every one of these would be an improvement on the original show, but How I Invented Your Mother made me snort-laugh so that’s the one I’m pulling for.
Two and a Half Broke Monks Invent Mothers
I knew this would be the one that gets me to really start mourning. I’m not ready for that yet. Too many feelings. *hides under desk*
I know – this and western art in the same day!
HOWLS
*sobs* I actually didn’t even want to open this post because it would MAKE IT REAL and I don’t think I’m ready for this
Two Monks Invent Bestiaries was one of the first Toast posts I saw, I think! Definitely one of the posts that got me hooked.
Also I have a junior coworker who is always apologizing for bugging me about this or that, and every time it makes me feel like Monk #2.
Me, too, the Bestiaries post:
MONK #1: can cows sail boats?
MONK #2: hahaha no
common misconception
they have to put wheels on the boat and roll it over land
And Dinner Parties, with one single peacock and a goblet of horror. I’m getting all maudlin, now …
[*snurfles*]
Not to mention just a hot pig area for whoever wants to touch some hooves for dinner
#monkgoals
This is my favorite series, too. May Two Monks live forever.
Look, I’ve been battling Trump-loving family members all day and now you want me to mourn the monks, TOO? I cannot. I refuse to accept this reality.
art history and two monks in ONE DAY. With 15 days to go?!
i think i laugh/cried/fell over in laughter-gut-pain the hardest of all Toast jokes at Two Monks Invent Dinner Parties. Mr. Editor & I couldn’t even get through it because we were laughing so hard.
GODDAMMIT I CALLED IT.
But, which is also to say, WHEN I SAID SOON I DID NOT MEAN MERE HOURS LATER. Jeez.
literally thought of your comment when I saw this pop up.
TOO SOON. it will always be TOO SOON.
I need to point out that I would happily buy a Two Monks book. For myself and all my friends.
YES. If there is not already a book in the works, I have lost faith in the entire publishing industry.
Agreed. It has to be formatted just right, though. The text on one page and then you turn to the next page to see the image– to approximate the joy of scrolling.
Co-signed.
The Two Monks should be a book, then a Pixar cartoon movie
Or a gorgeous cartoon by the same people who did Book of Kells, because the breathtaking visuals would be complemented by the I-can’t-breathe hilarity of the Two Monks.
*sniffle* But… but the bedbird!
*clings*
*worries*
Please let there be more of two monks somewhere, sometime.
Two-Pen Eadwin!
Whistlin’ Jesus!
I think I *am* going to miss Two Monks most of all… They’re trying their hardest. They ask each other questions. They wonder about things, like what do horses eat, and how tall are women, or what a dog’s face looks like, or how many people fit in a castle. They do the best they can. They still get it mostly wrong. Pretty much, they’re me.
they try so hardddddddd
and get so faaaaaaaaar
Will absolutely spend my entire evening reading through the canon of Two Monks.
THE BEST OF TWO MONKS
All of them.
Yup, this just got real. Mostly I’ve been carefully avoiding the round ups because Feelings, but I can ignore it no longer. This is devastating. Please, please, please, let the monks live on.
MALLORY THERE’S NOTHING STOPPING YOU FROM DOING SOMETHING MORE WITH THEM AFTER, YOU KNOW
just saying
I mean
they could go in a book or something
idk
Look, I would even settle for an occasional cameo elsewhere, like over on Salon, some Thursday, we’ll see Two Monks Invent Advice Columns (DAMN, I would totally love to see what advice they would give!), but I cannot, CANNOT, nay, WILL NOT give up the monks. They are the best.
[sob]
Holy Shit, is the Prudieteriat ready for Two Monks? I submit to you that they are not.
On the other hand, wouldn’t the world be a little better if the Monks were the ones discussing that despicable man whose wife went & had herself a baby apparently all on her own, and then left? I feel like the Monks might have some interesting input on that.
…yeah, they’re definitely not ready.
Oh man, that’d be a thing to see.
Don’t forget the Best of Two Monks Fanfiction:
Two Monks Invent Mr. Darcy
I love this so much!
I love that there are four fics (well, three fics and a podfic) in the Two Monks fandom.
I know I’m clinging with a death-grip to that idea about you guy throwing something up once in a while “just for funsies,” but those funsies would be extra fun if they included an occasional (really, even once a year, like a flu shot!) hit of the monks.
“like a flu shot” yessss exactly like that, it gives us a certain, if not infallible, degree of immunity to a lot of internet comments.
I will DEFINITELY miss this most of all. I’m now googling images of people crying in medieval art. And snickering a bit.
Truly the best of Two Monks is the best of The Toast. Along with Western Art. Surely two books isn’t too much to ask for!
well, this is sad. but I had missed a few of these, so I am still laughing.
One time at a reading Mallory did in SF, I got brave and asked her if she was going to bring Two Monks back, because they had gone away for a while (perhaps hiding in a castle 1.5 times bigger than them) and then a little while later there was a new Two Monks!
I’m going to try to tell myself that I had a tiny part in there being more Two Monks before the world went dark and the moon fell down (aka The Toast going away), but I don’t think that’s going to make it much better.
Thank you SO much Mallory! This former stay-at-home medievalist thanks you from the bottom of her heart.
Me too I will miss them most of all. <3 U, Monkies.
Please tell me we’re also going to get a retrospective on “Paintings of X in Order Of Y-ness” before it’s all over.
words and emojis and gifs and illuminated manuscripts all fail to express the depths of my feels
The Two Monks posts have made me laugh until I cried. I am not emotionally equipped to deal with this.
But wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way, in that enchanted place in the scriptorium of the Abbey, two monks will always be inventing.
But wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way, in that enchanted place in the scriptorium of the Abbey, two monks will always be inventing.
Siddons Packard is absolutely right. The Two Monks are immortal contributions and they HAVE to live on. So happy to learn from today’s post that there were some I hadn’t read. Anyone will love them but especially anyone who did time shouldering their burden doing medieval history.
*sobs* I actually didn't even want to open this post because it would MAKE IT REAL and I don't think I'm ready for this