ByJohn Leavitt

John Leavitt is a cartoonist, writer, director, and illustrator, His cartoons and illustrations have appeared in: The New Yorker, The Chronicle Review, The New York Press, The Common Review, The Journal Of Science Fiction and Fantasy, Narrative Magazine and elsewhere. He has worked with Molly Crabapple to produce posters for The Electronic Frontier Foundation and others.

  1. As Director of The Society, it warms my heart to know that so many are dedicated to upholding the tradition of honest analog espionage. No computer program or data breach could possibly compete with the authentic satisfaction that accompanies a lovingly planted bug or the elegant jab of an umbrella-tip full of ricin.

  2. According to Bruegel, "being dead" means hanging out with your skeleton pals and tormenting the living -- which is a way better afterlife than the current alternates

  3. Reply permanently failed because recipient doesn’t believe you’re more afraid of them than they are of you.

    Reply permanently failed because recipient honestly forgot how and from where they know you and it would be awkward to pretend otherwise.

    Reply permanently failed because recipient liked the idea of having gone to a party, but not the idea of going.

  4. The classic era movie studio heads! They were awful. But which one was the worst?

  5. "The Prince Who Kept A Normal Sleep Schedule Despite Six Months Of Daylight" and other beloved Antarctic fairy tales.

  6. Smarties - Mateus Rosé. Both are slightly fizzy on the tongue and a Rosé won't overpower the Red Dye No.3.

    York Peppermint Patty/Junior Mints - A Castilla y León that you can buy at a gas station.

    Dum Dums - An Old Fashioned. Skip the garnish and use the lollipop as a stirrer. You're the fun

  7. Before Will Graham became your boyfriend, he would just be another guy in the “Learning to Let the Ex Go” group therapy session you signed up for. The therapist would strongly recommend that you not start seeing each other, but Will would say he’s had enough of other people saying what’s good for him.

    On your first date, you’d notice him visibly relax when you choose a seafood restaurant and do all the

  8. John Leavitt's previous work for The Toast can be found here. Everyone has that one friend, the one you meet in college before you’re better at choosing friends. The one friend who’s simultaneously fun and exciting and overwhelming and unreliable. Jen is my flaky friend.

    We met freshman year in a class about museum history. I wanted to talk to her after class about her comments on the design changes caused by the 1954…

  9. John Leavitt's previous work for The Toast can be found here.

    18. Tennessee Williams - Tried to open eye drop bottle with teeth, choked on cap.

    17. Joe Orton - Bludgeoned to death by partner during domestic dispute.

    16. Jean-Paul Sartre - Infected papercut.

    15. Arthur Miller - Frowned for too long, too deep.

  10. "I want a rare steak and I want to see those two men pound each other." - Trudy Campbell For a show that prides itself on realism, understatement, and period recreation, Mad Men spawns some crazy fan theories. Megan is Sharon Tate! Don is D. B. Cooper! Cutler is a CIA mole! Bob doesn't actually exist! Despite the fact that none of these things happen (or are likely to happen), fans keep churning them out…

  11. I think remakes get a bad rap, I really do. We re-stage plays all the time, adding different time periods, costumes, and interpretations; why not movies? Movies are big complex things with many moving parts made by lots of people, why not open them up to a new take on the same material? The biggest problem modern remakes/adaptations have is hemming too close to the source material, having to hit-off a check list of "has…

  12. First off, I want to say I'm not complaining. Not really. There are many upsides to living in this quaint English village. (Don't worry, you haven't heard of it and it's not near anything you might have heard of.) Our borogoves are indeed mimsy and there's nothing more wholesome than fresh milk from a neighbor's farm. We've very progressive for our size and location. You'll hear no whinging from me about our weather, which, while…

  13. Click for a history-and-art-laden cartoon exploration of how to make a really good Aviation.