Toasties, the new year has almost officially begun for The Bartender.
To mark this, red wine was used to cut through the short rib/sirloin/foie gras burger, followed by theater.
Are you a theater buff? How often do you go to the movies? Have you seen Le Grande Bellezza? Are you counting down the days til Night at the Museum 3? Looking forward to the Superbowl? Little kid ballet?
Entertain us with stories of favorite entertainments! And stay healthy.
EDITORIAL ASIDE: Since Monday is a holiday, we’re just going to have an open thread and no original content, back to business on Tuesday (Middlemarch book club, take note.)
Tags: cocktail hour, meta, open thread, the bartender
I’m flying to Canada with a toddler later today! Wish me luck.
LUCK
it will obviously be great and vomit-free.
NO VOMIT. Gravol 4 lyfe.
Good luck and God’s speed, wishing you a safe and happy journey!
Good luck! If you’re flying into the morass that is Pearson GOD SPEED YOU BRAVE ONE.
Oooh! ooh! I’m flying Delta into Boston, overnighting, and then taking PORTER THE WORLD’S GREATEST AIRLINE into Billy Bishop! #LIFEHACKING.
Ohhhhhh so good. Eat as many chocolate chip shortbreads as you can!!
I found some of those shortbreads in my purse like4 months later AND I ATE THEM. (It was worth it.)
Have fun in Boston tonight! I’d try to come stalk you at Logan, but my husband and I have a long-awaited sushi ‘n’ fun sexytimes date since the girl will be at a sleepover.
Stalk me on the way back in Feb!
I wish you all the best! 🙂
OH LAWD. Good luck, I hope she doesn’t get ill!
I basically wore pajamas to work (leggings, long shirt, big drapey sweater, and a pashmina because it looked somewhat professionl) and it has been A+.
Comfy professional clothing is actually the best. Plus, you feel secretly badass all day for getting away with it,
It goes well with my badass short hair. I just got a pixie cut and I’m feeling extra rebellious as a result.
And here I was feeling all proud and rebellious for wearing sneakers today. (Not like athletic ones, like Keds equivalents.)
I am so jealous because I would not be permitted to get away with that here. Leggings may only be used as a replacement for tights here, as in “It’s too cold even for tights today, so I’m wearing leggings under my skirt that comes down to 2 inches above my knees.”
Is this pajamas? This is basically my uniform. So comfy and surprisingly cute, non?
The long t shirt is one I have worn to bed but it is otherwise not pajama like. It is so comfy and cute. I need to get more drapey sweaters so I can do this every day. And also some better leggings since these have a hole in the butt.
Went and saw Stewart and McKellen in No Man’s Land this week. Unsurprisingly, both were fantastic. I enjoyed it while it was going on, but I’m not sure I “got” the play, which I wasn’t at all familiar with going in.
Stewart and Mckellen are the best No Man’s Land and Waiting for Godot are the worst
I had basically the same reaction when I saw it a month ago. It was fun to see two greats play, though, and the supporting actors impressed me as well.
I’m currently obsessed with the new dance pole that my teacher helped me install in my home last week. I’ve got lofty goals (becoming competitive in the next 3 years, whilst finishing my bachelors in nursing and hopefully having a family? EASY right?) and I love coming home to play on it and work things over and over so I will eventually be a graceful butterfly, as evidenced by having good videos of me dancing, instead of just good still pictures 🙂 SUPER ENTERTAINING.
Talk to Jaya! She’s a real whizz at that stuff.
she’s a whiz at pole dancing, nursing, and having a family? sweet!
Jaya contains multitudes.
I AM DOGSITTING THIS WEEKEND which will be entertainment
I NEED A PERMANENT DOG BUT THIS IS NEXT BEST THING
That is all.
pics of dog plz
None yet but will endeavor to provide. He is a terrier which is the only type of small dog I accept.
I have a terrier, but he is 50 pounds of fun.
That is a lot of fun
I would show you a picture, but I don’t know how to do that on here. 🙁
Dogsitting is my dream job. Except I don’t actually want to have to do any work, I just want to play with them. So dogvisiting? But as a fellow un-dog-ed person I know the joy of having even temporary access to a dog.
If my dog is any indication, dogsitters who just want to play with him all day = the best dogsitters.
Volunteer at your local humane society? Although usually they expect a certain amount of walking as well as playing. I’m lazy, so I just socialize (read: pet and snuggle) the cats instead.
read this as dogshitting and was slightly concerned.
I am more concerned. No for us.
Get paid for it! I always use Dogvacay when I need to board a dog. If my schedule was better, I’d totally dogsit for $.
Oh! and this has been entertaining – behold the swiss cheese perv: http://www.phillymag.com/news/2014/01/16/swiss-ch…
This guy has harassed a bunch of women int he Philly area (including myself) for years now, and he’s been arrested. Again. As much as I dislike the “circus” atmosphere of the coverage of this, I’m glad he’s hopefully going to get closer to not harassing women again. What a story.
Wow, this guy is giving Swiss cheese a bad name. Which you’d think would be hard to do.
Oh, no. I’m so sorry you experienced that!
Some good has come out of this creep existing. the puns in the comments are first-rate.
Don’t forget to tell me if you’re going to the NYPL event with Rebecca Mead on 1/29. NICK AND HIS GIRLFRIEND WILL BE THERE.
Also, I really really really want you to go.
Yes! Chandra and I will both be there. EVERYONE COME. It’s going to be fun! We are very silly people!
This looks super-interesting (even though I’m not in the Middlemarch book club…am I still allowed?) and I’d love to go, if I can extricate myself from the tentacles of a small angry baby at bedtime. It may have to be a “wait until the last minute and see if there are still tickets” kind of decision.
Understood! Email me and I’ll put your name on the meet and greet list so that if you do make it, they let you in!
Thanks! Emailing you now…
Are any other tosties into opera? I’m very lucky to be spending the year in a city that has a lot of classical music (and wonderful prices for young people!) so I’ve gotten to see so many concerts and operas and recitals this year. Have any of you seen any especially exciting classical music this year/ do you have anything you’re really looking forward to?
i am very much looking forward to this: http://www.armoryonpark.org/programs_events/detai…
That’s so exciting! I’ve never actually seen any of the Bach passions performed (though I’m very much hoping to eventually). It sounds like a great cast. I’m actually going to see Magdalena Kožená sing a recital tonight.
I’m going to Madame Butterfly tonight and I AM SO EXCITED. But also dubious because it’s a sad one, right?
It is indeed a sad one. (Though I’ve never actually seen it.) I hope you have a wonderful time nonetheless!
It is sad but beautiful. Also, it will stoke the fires of your latent misandry (if your misandry is indeed latent).
Which version of Butterfly? I saw the Anthony Minghella version at the Met a couple of years ago and was BLOWN AWAY. Never thought opera could be so amazing.
Ohh, I wish I lived in a city that had opera! I should make an effort to go into The City for some soon.
I’m playing a concert this weekend that I’m totally looking forward to! All Shostakovitch! It’s so much fun to play but I anticipate my lips will fully fall off my face.
Good luck! What instrument do you play?
Thanks!! I’m a liiitttlleee bit worried because we’ve only had one rehearsal in the past month (holidays, weather) and we’ve never played one of the pieces the whole way through but it should be great. I play the french horn so lots of loud, powerful stuff this concert!
I feel like the number of concerts I’ve performed in for which we have been under-rehearsed is probably higher than the number of concerts where we’ve been adequately prepared. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Have fun!
Ugh. I actually went to the orchestra yesterday with friends and two of them proceeded to talk throughout the whole thing, even after I told them to shut up. I eventually moved to a quieter location (the orchestra here is never sold out). I was PISSED. Are you on the east coast by any chance? I would love to go to the orchestra/opera with toasties!
That’s dreadful! People talking at the opera/orchestra are the worst, especially when you know them (I can barely deal with my friends who talk in movie theaters)
I’m actually abroad till at least the end of May. I’m definitely going to try to plan at least one opera trip into Boston next year, though.
What? No!! An orchestra concert is not your car radio! You need new friends.
You have no idea!! I was actually starting to doubt that I am *not* an orchestra(etc.) snob, so thank you for this! But really, it was not decent human behavior. My cats could sit still for that long.
I’ma go see Frozen tonight!
And I’ve been rewatching Miranda with a friend who has never seen it before! the highest of entertainment.
Yay! I thoroughly enjoyed that movie.
It was so good! Josh Gad is, perhaps weirdly, my straight exception.
Josh Gad was the highlight of Frozen for me. Well, him, and the National Treasure that is Idina Menzel.
MIRANDA! I was not prepared when I started watching it, and thus much stifled-work-snorting ensued…
Toast, I come to you with a heavy heart. (& this is depressing, I’m sorry.) Has anyone here had to find new homes for your much-loved pets? How did you do it, and how did you keep yourself together?
I’m engaged to the best possible person, and he likes my cats as much as any right-thinking person should. His lungs don’t, though–his cat allergies developed into cat-induced asthma shortly before we met, and there’s always the chance that staying at my house will make him stop breathing. It’s gotten better in the past few months with a new medication and $600 worth of air filters, so that he hasn’t had to use an inhaler or go home early the last few times he’s come over. But we’re talking about moving in together, and he’s worried that even if his symptoms disappear entirely, he’ll never feel safe sharing an apartment with cats unless he has his own whole floor without them.
To be clear, he does not want me to have to find homes for my cats. He likes them, and he loves me, and it’s all very unfair for all of us. But we would like to get married, and we would like to live together, and I don’t know how long it is reasonable to wait before doing that–until my cats die of natural causes? Until his allergy shots have an effect, which the nurse just warned him could take another few years and/or never? If I must adopt them out, how do I ensure that they go home with wonderful people who will love their dumb selves as much as I do? Will they feel betrayed in their tiny useless cat-brains?
Walls! Are you wallsdon’tfall from the other site? Are you in Chicago?
Yes! Weren’t we going to go get beers one time? Do you need some cats?
Yes, we were! If you want, I can try to help with the cats. email me at [email protected] and we can chat.
Aww, I’ll do that anyway. Thanks!
Oh, walls, I’m so sorry. Are they good cat-friends, or would they not care if they went to separate homes?
They’re friendly, but not snuggle-pals like some cat pairs I see and am envious of. Older Cat is sweet and patient and playful and should go to a home with other cats for company, but Younger Cat can be kind of a problem child and should go to a home where she is either a solo cat or just with Older Cat.
After you’ve exhausted the friends-and-family options, we may be able to find a good Toast home, email me if you’re at your wit’s end and I’ll do a post.
!!! Thank you, Nicole. I have six months and a good circle of friends/colleagues/rescue groups to contact, but I’m just afraid of meeting a potential adopter at the door and, like, falling onto their shoulder sobbing desperately.
Oh, what cuties! I’m sorry to hear this, this is such a sad decision to have to deal with.
I think the best way to adopt them out if you’re not under the gun, time-wise, is to do it yourself, networking style. You can put out the word to friends and friends of friends. Tell them you want to see their house first. Tell them you want to meet anyone who will be living there first. It’s a lot of work, but if you can do that and find people you are comfortable with, you will sleep better at night for knowing that your adorable kitties will be in good hands.
Pet-sitters. I adopted my first dog because his owner, Rachel, got a new job requiring too much travel. Rachel turned to me because I had dog-sat many times and she knew I was in love with the little guy. The alternative was unthinkable: putting the dog up for adoption by a stranger was never going to work. Rachel had rescued the dog after he had survived terrible abuse. He was emotionally a wreck and would never warm up to anyone without 50 hours of patient tolerance of his threatening to bite. He bit me at least 4 times over the years. He would languish at a shelter until they had to put him down for lack of a home. Of course I adopted him!
So, pet-sitters. Ask various people you trust to take your precious felines for stays in their homes as a favor to you. Wait until one of those people falls in love, then ask them to adopt.
Thanks! I think I’m going to contact the rescue group from who I originally adopted both cats–they have a blog, lots of connections with my undergrad institution, and plenty of fosterers. (Unfortunately I’ve never had a pet sitter who didn’t let my plants die.)
Ah, this truly sucks. My boyfriend, whom I live with, also has cat allergy-induced asthma, and it sucks big time. His doesn’t sound as bad your boyfriend’s does, and he’s decided to just…try and wait it out I guess, but it makes me feel bad that he’s always wheezing in his own home.
Anyway, I don’t really have much advise, but I offer sympathy I guess. I love my cats and boyfriend dearly too. I hope that whatever solution you find allows your kitties to be happy!
Definitely try within circles of friends first. I’ve been the rehome-ee for a couple of kitties. If you already know them, and know what they’re like and have been to their houses, or your friends can vouch for them, you can be reasonably certain that the kitties are going to good places.
I’m so sad you’re in Chicago because I would totally adopt Older Cat! I’ve been thinking about getting a companion cat for my own cat, because she is a mean antisocial bitch but she grudgingly likes other cats so I think company would be good for her. Best of luck and hopefully you get to give your kitties to someone you can visit now and again.
just wanted to say what a very nice person you are for doing this! I am an allergic person who sometimes gets promoted to full-on asthma under the right/wrong conditions, and it is truly awful, especially long-term — energy draining, insomnia-inducing, sinus-infection-and-headache-promoting, sexual-desire-killing, awful, even when you are fully medicated, if you are living with your allergy source. It also stinks explaining all this when only some of your symptoms are visible. Bravo to you for being so kind to your partner and not asking this of him.
I don’t have any advice, but much sympathy.
Oh god I’m so sorry! I have recently contemplated the possibility that my and my beloved’s cats will never ever be able to leave peaceably together. My cat is amazing but also a huge huge violent jerk at times, plus he has FIV. My catastrophe plan is to adopt him through a personal network and promise to remain responsible for, or at least contribute to vet bills so that 1) I know he can get care if needed; and 2) I have a reasonable way of staying in touch.
I don’t think your cats will care much (SORRY) after they recover from the trauma of the move. I think cats do bond to people, but I think they are more interested in a safe territory and regular food. My cat adores me and my house (I think) but he also loved his foster home, and within a week or so of coming to me was pretty ok.
I was going to suggest that you live in neighboring houses separated by a human-sized Habitrail with airlocks at either end and a decontamination zone in between, but other people’s suggestions might be easier.
Joking aside, what really helps me when faced with a tough decision is to remind myself that there is not One Best Answer and all other answers are Bad. In fact, there are often several equally good answers any one of which will work out just fine. Hugs.
I have tickets to see Jack Ryan in IMAX tonight (and some illicit rum hiding in my purse) and I dropped another $100 to see Zachary Quinto in The Glass Menagerie next weekend (for the second time). Basically, all of my money goes to Star Trek actors now. I’m not saying this is a problem necessarily, but I am saying I’m pretty broke.
I totally forgot that was coming out this weekend. Thanks for reminding me, I enjoy watching Chris Pine’s face and other things.
I’m a grown up lady and shouldn’t feel like I have to do this, but boy do I enjoy sneaking booze into stupid/fun movies.
I have never done it before, and I’m a little concerned about the combination of rum and IMAX and action movie, but mostly I think it’ll be fun.
Is it regular IMAX or 3D + IMAX? If it’s the former, you should be fine; the latter…well, you’ll probably also be fine, just, you know, be careful 😀
I think it’s just regular IMAX? I hope so. Although also, Chris Pine jumping off the screen and into my arms? Not a terrible idea.
SUPER BOWL! SUPER BOWL! SUPER BOWL! GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT!
No but seriously, I am looking forward to watching some good foobawl on Sunday afternoon. Does anyone have suggestions for fancy things to do with popcorn? I got an air popper for Christmas and I’m feeling ambitious.
truffle salt!
Just want to second this b/c it is amazing. Also, those of you w/o an air popper (or with. whatevs.), if you make truffle salt popcorn in a pot on the stove by popping it in duck fat, your life may be forever changed.
toss with parmesan! toss with spices (garam masala is a good mix)! toss with herbs!
Parmesan, with a little rosemary. Delish.
Toss with sugar or cinnamon and salt! MUAHAHAHAHAHA
You guys I live in Seattle, where we are playing our rivals in our stadium for the NFC championship, and kickoff is at 3:30 and our friend who’s not into football scheduled his birthday party for 5:00. And of course we’re going, because we like him and he’s had a rough year, and I don’t resent it at all, but gaaaah. At least I’ll get to watch the Broncos game.
Seriously, I’m sure he is a great person but that was a bad scheduling move on his part.
nutritional yeast!
Yes! Do this! It sounds so healthy, but once you’ve added butter and all the pepper in the world, it’s perfect. It’s what you want parmesan on popcorn to be, but parmesan never lives up to my expectations in this scenario.
Where do you live? If you can acquire Old Bay (WHATS UP MARYLAND), it is DELICIOUS on popcorn.
Or if you want sweet, crush up some candy canes or peppermints, and throw some chocolate chips into the still warm/hot popcorn. It will be like peppermint bark POPCORN.
And if you’re at all inclined towards being a hippy, and thus have nutritional yeast on hand, that goes excellently with the Old Bay on popcorn.
OLD BAY ON POPCORN WHY HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE, BRB.
Old Bay is also available outside of Maryland, to this DC native/now Bostonian’s relief.
YESSSSS Old Bay popcorn is the VERY FIRST thing I made!!! Glorious Old Bay, seasoning of the crabby gods!
Sachimi togarishi & a little sesame oil (and salt, duh)! Sachimi (there’s a ton of variations on the blend with slightly different names) is this spicy seasoning blend a lot of ramen shops have on hand for doctoring up your ramen. It is delightful on all things.
CARAMEL CORN.
PEANUT BUTTER POPCORN
http://www.thekitchn.com/fall-snacking-p-14558
Cheddar cheese powder (King Arthur Flour sells a vermont cheddar that is delightful) and smoked paprika
… Monday is a holiday! Thanks for the reminder; I lost track of where we are in the month… by, like, a whole week. That means I have a week more than I expected to get The Fella’s birthday presents sorted. PHEW.
I’m going to spend my long weekend trying to be more like Emma Thompson.
The throwing your devil-shoes over your shoulder part, or the handing your martini to someone part?
Both. Reminder to self: acquire martini minion.
Ooh! I have no big plans, I’m going to copy this.
WE CAN ALL BE EMMA! TOSS YOUR SHOES!
Hey Toasties! I am thinking about getting a haircut, and as an Asian lady with thick and very straight hair*, I’ve been trying to start looking to Japanese and Korean fashions for some inspiration. (Will accept Hong Kong or Singapore as well, basically I tend to get into fashion ruts and I’m trying to play around with being a little more cutting edge.) Any suggestions for good websites to peruse? I’ve been googling “2014 Japanese [or Asian or Korean] haircuts” but the websites that come up for those feel like someone just googled images of asian ladies and posted them up.
Also, I will freely admit that this might be a fool’s errand because I’m generally lazy with styling my hair and have no intention of dying, lightening, or perming it. But still! I’m sometimes tired of long layers and am looking for some more bang inspirations.
*that may sound like an obvious descriptor for east/southeast asian lady hair, but I have buddies and distant relatives with naturally wavier hair or finer hair so.. yeah.
I don’t know about sites for inspiration, but a friend of mine with hair that maybe meets your description has a long A-line cut, and I think it looks awesome. It’s long enough so that it still looks like long hair from the front, but in the back it probably hits the bottom of her neck. I tried googling it but I only found bobs which it is definitely not.
& good luck! I wish hair cuts were so much easier to deal with.
Thanks so much for this suggestion! I’ve seen these kinds of cuts before but 1) have always associated them with bobs and 2) had no idea what they were called because I am just that with it when it comes to haircuts. I’m really intrigued by the idea of a non-bob A-line cut now..
Half-Asian lady here myself, with hair form that side. I shell out disgusting amounts of money for my haircuts, but I also tell my stylist “the way you cut it will be the way it looks. I will not touch it except to maybe spray some water on it if I slept on it wonky.” The good news is he delivers. Right now I’m rocking an asymmetrical bob – edgy enough that I feel like one of the cool kids without the risk of chopping all my hair off and waiting for it to grow back.
How long is your bob? I’m always a little intrigued by bobs but since I’m um, blessed with a round face and cheeks and small eyes, I’ve never been crazy with my previous experiments with bobs. I am with a better stylist now (I too pay more than I probably should) so I should consider cutting loose, I guess..
On the shorter side it hits my chin, and on the longer side it’s maybe an inch longer than that. I find that between chin and shoulder length generally works pretty well for my oval/round face. One time I went above the chin, and that didn’t go so well.
Do you have an Asian lady salon near where you live? They used to have tons of magazines with styles for customers to peruse in the one I frequented.
Also, the hot towels and head massages… I miss it.
Maybe, but I’ve never searched for them! My mom used to cut my hair until I was 19 and rebelled (I’m a wicked one) so I would just find salons through my local indie newspaper.
RK: how bout this? kinda looks almost clippers-short on left and like, edgy-sheared on the other?
or this one looks maybe better
Oh man, I like the idea of both of these but I don’t know if I have the courage for either of them. o_O hmm
I have something vaguely similar, and let me tell ya, most days it just looks like a sloppy pixie. In a good way! But unless I comb it wet and throw a hat on/aloe vera gel, that beautiful part doesn’t stay, and the long chunks disperse across your head.
I like a good google challenge, but I may have failed you. Japanese hair tends to be stupendously styled. Here’s a site with a whole bunch o pictures http://www.beauty-box.jp
Tried to find some that at least filtered out the most dyed of the dyed http://mery.jp/564 http://matome.naver.jp/odai/2133809949661455501
This is the most I’ve used my expensive degree in at least six months.
Beauty-box! I think I found this ages ago but then forgot. thank you for sharing it again!
Oh if I were you I would do something sharp-lined and a bit geometric! Oooooooh my wavy-haired self is drooling over the idea of a long A-line like someone else suggested or a asymmetrical bob. And don’t worry about your face shape just do something you find awesome.
Geometric! I have to explore this school of haircuts. thanks!
Hi Hieu! I used to have the same problem! I’m not an Asian lady, but I also have thick and very straight hair. I surfed a lot of beauty sites and pages and found this one therighthairstyles.com
Over there you can find real advices from professionals for every type of hair! Just visit this page and you will never regret, you will find everything you looking for!
Best wishes!:-)
My long weekend is BUSY, and it scares me a little. I am going out with a few women of my boyfriend’s acquaintance tomorrow night for drinks and dinner. I am going without my boyfriend. I have only met these women a handful of times, and I don’t even know if I like them. However, I lost a lot of friends recently and making new friends is way fucking harder now than it used to be when I was a kid. I think I should do this to see if I do like them.
Sunday I’m driving a ridiculous number of hours with an existing friend to Vermont to go to Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab’s Will-Call event. Lots and lots of time in a car, but that should be a lot of fun!
I went to the Vermont will call a few years ago! It was a ton of fun. I recommend bringing an eyeliner pencil or similar to note what you’ve tested and where if you plan to dab a lot of stuff on your arms.
Oh, excellent suggestion!! You must be (kind of) local to me, so hello local fellow Toastie and lover-of-BPAL!
Ha, sort of – I went when I was still in Western Mass, I live in Boston now. Hello!
Oh, very close, I’m in the northern suburbs of Boston!
Ooh, I’m really jealous you’re going to Will Call! I wish I could go to one, but I’m stuck in Canada where they never have any (and probably if they ever do they won’t be near me). Have fun! BPAL is fantastic.
Last week I made some infused vodka with horseradish and hot peppers. It is very, very hot! And I ended up with more of it than I was planning for. I’m already rearranging my drinking schedule to include more Bloody Marys, but is there anything else I could use it for?
I’d try mixing it with Malört.
I have never heard of this but the third google result is headlined “The most disgusting liquor of all time” so I’m naturally intrigued.
“It’s like swallowing a burnt condom full of gas,” is a good description I heard once. I typically call it, “less of a beverage, more of a practical joke in liquid form.”
Depending on your spice tolerance (’cause you’d be drinking it more or less straight) it sounds like it’d make a killer martini. Or, hmm…is it weird that I think it’d be good with lemonade?
Oh, also what about using it as the vodka in some sort of penne a la vodka? Or maybe you could, like, poach shrimp or salmon in it?
Ooh, I never though about cooking with it. I also have a bunch of horseradish root left over for extra kick.
True story: I made this because my dad made some and it was good, and when he gave me the recipe he said “I should warn you, before you buy the horseradish, it’s a very… suggestive-looking vegetable.” THANKS DAD
DADS.
Yeah, I made some surprisingly spicy jalepeno vodka and I’ve basically been using it as hot sauce. It’s really good in guacamole, but I’m not sure if that would work as well with the horseradish element.
Marinate! Use it as the alcohol portion of a marinade. I generally do something like a sake/soy/ginger/garlic marinade, but you can use that and maybe some salt or soy sauce.
I was thinking of doing the Nerd Fitness Academy. Has anyone else started it?
Also, Drynuary is halfway done! How are my fellow Januwagoneers faring?
I haven’t done the Nerd Fitness Academy thing because I’ve got a sweet deal set up with my local trainer, but I’m thrilled to see someone else here who reads NerdFitness. That site is FANTASTIC! Good luck with it if you decide to do it!
Still on the bandwagon! My cheat day is coming up (whiskey tasting) and also I’m going away next weekend and I feel sort of disappointed that I’m going to break my streak. I think I may tack on a few days in February to make up for it.
And then I’m going to drink all of the units of alcohol.
Yeah, I’m technically allowed to drink on the 27th (Neutral Milk Hotel!!!), but I’m considering powering through until the end of the month with my friends. I feel pretty guilty about it!
I did the NF academy. The workouts are truly great and the way they set up the nutrition part (with levels, so where Level 1 is like give up soda and Level 10 is super hardcore, we don’t recommend you stay at this level, only if you need to max out for a couple of weeks) works super well for me.
The forums are a little too weight loss-focused for my taste but I guess that would be true of any fitness thing.
Well, you pretty much gave me the push I needed. I only got the Apprentice level because I’m poor, but we’ll see how it goes!
I don’t know what that is, but I’m deeply intrigued by the name. Anything that incorporates nerdiness into exercise makes it a lot more palatable for me.
no but my buddy Sergio (who is a giant nerd and loves Star Trek even more than me) came up with bodbot and I love his dumb face so here is a plug for it: http://www.forbes.com/sites/alextaub/2014/01/02/b…
(I have no idea if BodBot works, Sergio knows and respects that I consider my body to be purely decorative and not functional)
Whenever I hear the name “Sergio” I see a greased-up Jon Hamm playing a saxophone, but I like it.
lol girl that is NOT UNLIKE SERGIO irl
(that’s me on the left)
This thread took a magnificent turn.
NO JOKE. Whoa, Nelly.
I DO NOT DO DRYNUARY BECAUSE MY BIRTHDAY IS IN JANUARY
No one is ever in a good mood on my birthday 🙁
My birthday is in January, too, and I’ve always hated it.
*sad solidarity fistbump*
JANUARY BIRTHDAYS REPRESENT.
Mine is next Tuesday. Not even I am happy when it rolls around.
oh! i am trying to do the nerdfitness thing! i have not kept up with all the philosophy lessons too super well, but I have been using the workouts. it seems really well put together.
Huzzah! I seem to have a bit of a dilemma since I have neither a full-length mirror nor a scale. But I guess I can take pictures by using the timer on my camera?
Until I read the subcomments I thought Drynuary was refering the drought in California.
Ugh, the internet at work went out this morning. It’s back now, but I couldn’t do any work *or* goof off during that time.
Any car-less Toasties out there? I’m on the fence right now about whether or not I want one. Right now I primarily bike everywhere, but there are definitely times where it would be mega-convenient to have a car. I’ve got an extraordinarily gracious roommate with a car at the moment. My main hang-up is the idea of paying insurance when I would only use the car probably 1-3x/week for getting groceries or whatever. (I’d essentially be an old-lady driver.)
Make a budget. Determine price of insurance, annual registration, maintenance. Set aside monthly. Use those funds on rental cars until you determine that owning one would actually cost less.
I was car-less when I lived elsewhere. It really depends on where you are. Old city had amazing public transport, and I was maybe a 15 minute bus ride away from groceries. New city, public transport sucks hard, and FOOD DESERTS EVERYWHERE. I actually need a car now, unless I want to spend 3 hours just getting to work via 3 transfers and 2 miles of walking.
I am car-less. In my city it works very well, public transit is well connected and there are lots of bike paths. There are several grocery stores within a ten minute walk. I just never really buy that much at one time, but could you get one of those awesome old lady trolley things for bigger shops? Otherwise, I had roomies that joined one of those car-sharing operations and it was the best for those need-a-car moments.
I don’t suppose you’re in a Zipcar or City Carshare area? I’ve been carless for over a decade but the only reason that works is because I live in a small city with decent transit, and I’ve got access to Carshare for those times when I really need my own wheels.
Also! Don’t underestimate the power of grocery store delivery! My roommate gets Safeway delivery for boxes of cat litter, large bottles of vodka and, occasionally, multi-packs toilet paper – stuff it’d be hard to tote on the bus.
I’ve got a car2go membership. The times I find myself wishing I had a car is when it gets to be super-duper cold… and since I’m in the Twin Cities, that’s for about a month. Right now I call it quits at “feels like -20,” but if I had access to a car I know I’d wimp out before then. The thing is, car2go is great in that it lets you take one-way trips, however, all the cars in the fleet are smart cars. Did you know that smart cars lose their battery charge it the cold? I do….now.
I was happily car-less in a medium sized city with existing but shitty public transit and a big city with good public transit. Now I live in a small town and have a car which I use mostly to buy groceries. But I can also get out of town whenever I want without asking anyone, which is pretty great.
Can you get the groceries on a bike? I went to college in a car dependent town but I can’t drive so I’d bike to the stores (about 2 miles away). It was way easier than it sounds, I got double baskets put on the back and one front basket and that would fit a weeks worth of food. I’d do my biking on Sundays. It was only unpleasant when it was raining but otherwise it was great excercise and since your roommate has a car I bet she’d help out on days when the weather is terrible.
I get to go to SF tomorrow to collect on my birthday/Christmas present! My sister ever so kindly lent me her husband for the day, and we’re going to The Book of Mormon.
We’re doing it daytrip style from Reno, so it’s gonna be a long day. Then on Sunday, I get to help my mom with her house.
So, I’m the one that posted last week about living with the shitty ex, moving out at the end of March. My mom talked me into moving back in with her for a while. This will be the 2nd time I’ve moved back home, but this time, I’m not in my early 20’s, but my early 30’s, YAY!
I’m trying not to feel all failure-y, because, it really is for the best. She needs help with the house and upkeep and all, and adding in my money will definitely help. Her father is also not doing so well, and the plan is to not put him in any care facility, rather keeping him at hope, and bringing in hospice when it’s ultimately needed. My aunt is currently living with him to help, but at some point it’s going to be too much for her to go it alone, and then my mom will be moving to SF for a while, and they’ll take shifts. She wants me to take care of the house while she’s there. It could happen any time, and could be for any amount of time, and this way I don’t have to try and break a lease. I’ll also not be living from paycheck to paycheck, which will be nice.
And finally, any other Toasties in the Reno/Tahoe area? My friends here are mostly the gamer group I fell in with when I moved out here, and mostly male, and all also friends with the ex. Meeting new folk that I already know are cool would be awesome. Meeting new people is scary and hard, y’all.
Guys, I have an embarrassing crush on Danny Pudi and last night I think I tried drunkenly direct messaging him on twitter (oh gawd) but I completely forgot about it until I just logged in and saw that instead I tweeted at him. Luckily I didn’t actually say anything (thank goodness) and had just entered his handle, but still, what am I doing with my life.
It seems to me that you have it together, as Danny Pudi is UNF in every way.
This is adorable and totally understandable.
I also have a crush on Danny Pudi!
I love everything about this comment.
Toast! I was all excited to start a new (if slightly boring) job at the same place I’ve been working (my old job ended, but the place is good). I went in for a meeting yesterday and, for a variety of uncontrollable reasons, they told me that they would only be able to pay me for one day of work a week until like May. May is really far away! I was so delighted to not be looking for jobs, but now I guess I’m back on the hunt in case I find something, you know, more full-time, and I kind of want to die. Blughghughhughg.
What’s your favorite moisturizer?? Homemade and/or inexpensive options encouraged!
I really like Celestial from Lush. You can get a free sample from the Lush people before you try it, though! They’re usually pretty generous with the freebies.
It smells like frosting! (This is a plus.)
I love Lush Moisturizers. I use Vanishing Cream for my face (oily complexion) and Karma for hands and body. It’s the best.
Oil of Olay heavy night cream works so well for me. I have dry skin and it tames my face flakes. Ugh “face flakes” is a super gross phrase.
CeraVe – AM. It’s no-nonsense, has SPF, and easy to find.
Bunny Butt Apothecary has this nice ‘Complexion Zen’ face cream that I like to use at night, it’s delicious.
extra virgin coconut oil. I use it when my skin is really hating the dry winter and it makes me smell like summer, and heals my skin like nobody’s business.
Yep. I even put it in my hair. Good stuff.
I have some coconut oil but I would have thought it would be too heavy for a face cream. Do you do it in the morning? Nights? How do you get it soft enough?
I made little pucks of coconut oil in a silicone candy/ice cube tray, a dozen at a time. That lets me store one in a dish on the side of the tub or a jar in the medicine cabinet; I pick it up and it melts in the heat of my hand, just enough to smooth over my skin while it’s still wet. I also use it when shaving my legs, in place of shaving cream or lather.
But I can’t use coconut oil on my face. Though I use olive oil and jojoba oil to good effect, coconut oil is too heavy (or too occlusive, or too something) for my face; every time I put on even a tiny bit, I end up with big blemishes. I’ve even tried using it as a pre-cleanse moisturizer, but I still break out. I know plenty of people can use it on their faces, but even though I’m moderately dry-skinned, I cannot.
Yes! I buy a big jar of it at TJs for cheap. Re: getting it soft enough, I just use a spoon to scrape some out, and then it melts in my hand.
I looooove slathering myself with coconut oil when I get out of the shower. Although after the first time, I understood why the advice is to put it on while your skin is still wet because it took a long time to absorb.
How does this work, exactly? Do you put it on while wet and then towel off, or drip dry?
The Body Shop’s aloe body butter. Very little scent so there’s no interference with perfumes and it soaks right in and does a lovely job. I also use their Hemp body butter to moisturize my tattoos.
I use Burt’s Bees day lotion. It doesn’t make me feel like a total grease-ball or make me break out even though I have super sensitive and temperamental skin.
I use the Rite Aid brand Olay knockoff for mature skin (I’m 32 but dry as the desert). It’s pretty cheap. I have had decent luck with the Clinique Moisture Surge for very dry skin but I can’t afford to keep it stocked. If you have a Marshall’s/TJ Maxx near you, that’s a good way to pick up discounted fancy lotions.
Trader Joes Coconut Body Cream NO QUESTION. And for your face Oil of Olay– ORIGINAL. Just ORIGINAL formula, from 195X, (maybe get the SPF one if you’d like) and your face will be dewy and perfect and everyone will ask what you do w your face and you’ll smile and think “CVS, and I used my ExtraBucks”
The Target version of Aveeno’s daily oatmeal-y lotion is great and in a huge bottle. Skin Trip if I got the $$$ and wanna smell like a coconut. For my face, Pond’s Dry Skin Cream at night, Aveeno’s glowy-SPF thing in the day (this is one lotion where the generics are NOT comparable, I don’t even know why, something about the texture is just wrong).
plain jojoba oil! cheap, light, moisturizing and can be used everywhere (body, face, scalp, etc.)
Olive oil (but the nice stuff from Greece or Spain, not Italy.)
Olive oil (but the nice stuff from Greece or Spain, not Italy.)
Recently I’ve been all about the BioOil. In the a.m., post shower, I make a mix of a few drops of BioOil and some heavy-duty sunscreen (at least SPF 50, b/c my mom’s aging well, but sheeeeeesh is she wrinkly about the face). Then I cover my face, sometimes my décolletage, and the current cooking-related burn marks (I swear, there’s always at least one, plus the really bad one from two years ago that still freaks me out). At night, I do just BioOil + a tissue as a makeup remover. Bonus points available if you can keep stuff out of your eyes. I’m basically a toddler in terms of coordination (see: burns, above), so I usually fail at this. . .
My family and I are going to see the touring production of Once in Boston tomorrow. I have been wallowing in a big vat of Sad this week, and I don’t think seeing Once will cheer me up. But I’m still looking forward to it nonetheless.
Agreed, it is not exactly a happy show… but the songs make me so very, very happy – I sobbed from happiness when the first chords of “Falling Slowly” started. I agree with rat_paws that post-Once ice cream is a must.
That sounds great, even if not a picker-upper. A friend of mine saw it in Boston last weekend and adored it.
I have a new girlfriend even though just two weeks ago I said I’d be more picky with who I date, but I am being picky because she rules. This morning she said she was dreaming about me and I asked what we were doing and she hesitated, then made a really good joke: “Having 100 babies.”
jordan is it the bartender???
No remember, on our first date I didn’t want to go to where the bartender worked to avoid any awkwardness and then the bartender ended up being at the bar we went to (Baggy’s). It was funny to me, at least. But bartender was with her boyfriend (news to me) so that eliminated any awkwardness. Anyway, among other hobbies and lovable qualities, spider girlfriend weaves really badass high-end quilted things like pillows and actual quilts. Did I mention she makes funny jokes?
a) She is definitely a spider. That’s fine, don’t be prejudiced.
b) I know nothing about this girl or what she makes (except that she is a spider and makes spider things) but I kind of want to buy her products already. Handweaving!
*Update* She said “Having 10,000 babies together.” So she might be a sea sponge instead of a spider. Not sure how I made that mistake.
I dunno, dude, spiders have lots of babies. All those eggs? Anyway, yay on your 8-legged lady friend! She sounds rad!
Like a spider?
^WHAT IF SHE REALLY IS A SPIDER?
Eight legs = fun sex possibilities? (Spiders are terrifying, but I’m trying to be strong for you.)
Thanks, come to think of it, 7 crotches ARE better than 1 crotch! Huh, never thought of that before. (Had to draw a picture to count the crotches.)
I was going to try and go to a concert performance of A Little Night Music this weekend, but it’s pricier than I’d like and this was the first week of the semester and I feel a little bit like I’ve been hit by a truck, so I think my entertainment will be “marathoning Leverage and playing Tetris.”
Also, I did not see a single Best Picture nominee this year. I might attempt the Best Picture Showcase (AMC shows all the movies over two days) but I haven’t done that since it went from five nominees to up-to-ten. That’s a lot of movies.
Binging on Leverage sounds like a fantastic plan.
Where is A Little Night Music playing? That may be my favoritest Sondheim musical, which is saying a lot.
I haven’t seen a Best Picture nominee this year, but I have seen all Best Animated nominees except for The Wind Rises…which will be rectified as soon as it opens here. (Miyazaki 4eva)
Boston Conservatory Theater! It appears to be sold out, though.
MIYAZAKIIIIIIII.
Fun fact a/b A Little Night Music: basically every song in the show is in 3. Cool, except also for some reason it kind of ruins it for me? Recovering / nostalgic music nerd.
Every song IS in 3’s! Sondheim has talked about it in various places. It just makes it more awesome for me. (Not a music nerd, but lives with 2 of them.)
I saw “The Great Beauty” and it was wonderful (a little long and, warning, it has one scene in which Africans are dressed as if they were in a Tarzan movie). But even as someone who loved the film, I have to say, if you don’t see it in a theater with a big screen (and a good sound system), don’t bother.
Has anyone tried Tinder? I’ve been toying with the idea for a couple of weeks. In my normal life, I encounter loads of great guys, but 90% of them are attached or would be bad ideas to pursue. But since I am ForeverAlone, I keep getting awkward terrible crushes on people. (Reason #50 of why normal dating doesn’t work for me: I am incapable of acting cool around guys I’m attracted to or think might be attracted to me.) I tried OKCupid a while ago and haaaated it–it made me feel guilty and anxious all the time. I feel like Tinder might be less effective but is also much lower-pressure because you can just block everyone. But I’d also have to make a new Facebook account for it, so…
I’m on it, but most of the messages I get are fairly horrific, and detailed on what they would like to do to me. Ew. It might just be my creep magnet working through the internet even better than reall life though.
Wait, so do people actually date on Tinder? I thought it was more like Grindr for straights.
I’ve done it! It’s kinda fun to stamp NOPE on guys’ faces. I went on one date last week and it was pretty awkward and weird, like most dates. Otherwise I am not having very much “success”- unlike OKC, you literally have ZERO background information about the other person so it’s pretty hard to spur a conversation. Definitely worth a try though! I’m curious, why would you make a fake Facebook account for it?
@lassotabasco: I have a very distinctive first name and a pretty heavy internet presence thanks to my job/interests. Knowing my first name and city is all you need to find out pretty much everything about me.
@wallsdonotfall: My impression is that it’s a little bit in between? Like, it’s not purely hookup/sexual but it’s definitely not as relationship-oriented as OkCupid. Which is fine with me–I think the way I’m wired, I can’t really begin to consider someone for a relationship until I’ve known them a little bit in real life first. Though my friend has had some near-relationships through Grindr, so I guess it also depends on the user.
I think it also depends on your city because I tried for like 24 hours once and all the guys that came up were young. Like, PROM PICTURE YOUNG. I think you’re supposed to be able to filter for age but it didn’t work for me.
Yeah everyone on it in my city is either 19 or 45. (I live in a very student-heavy city.)
Yeah – I’m only in my mid-30’s, but I get the impression that I’m still waaaaay older than most Tinder users in my ‘hood.
Maybe this is terrible, but I find the best thing about Tinder is that it’s incredibly validating whenever you make a “match”. Because you only match with people who you like and who have liked you back. I have rarely/never done anything with it about messaging/meeting dudes (and in fact rarely receive messages), but it’s been a huge confidence boost for me, to be reminded that I’m not a hideous man-repelling monster.
Again, maybe that’s terrible, but I have a crippling fear of rejection from males and I need all the confidence I can get.
i agree about the little confidence boost every time you get matched. but I have actually NEVER gotten a message or a response to a message on there. mysterious! and kind of undoes the tiny confidence boost.
I enjoy it as a fun thing to do when i’m bored, but i’m also phenomenally uninterested in actually talking to my matches, unless they message me first. Most do not.
It’s also worth mentioning that unless you live in a big city, you’re not going to have all that much luck, probably. One of my friends lives in Syracuse, and he said he logged in one day and had exactly ONE person in his radius, which is terribly depressing. But NYC is great for Tinder.
I started Tinder last Sunday and ended up with two dates in two hours. As someone whose favorite word is “No” it’s incredibly satisfying/validating. It’s also an excellent way to find unique people; the two people I am going on dates with had very weird conversations with me different from the normal “Hi what’s up where are you from”.
IN FACT I HAVE A DATE TODAY (oh god first date with a girl ever)
My brother and I were supposed to see the Book of Mormon in Cincinnati, but I forgot to order the tickets and so the only way we’ll make it is if we do that lottery thing, which I’ve never done so we’ll see. If we don’t make it, though, his fraternity is having a pirate themed party. SO, my question: how do I dress up in a pirate way? I was just going to get a plastic sword and wear a red scarf and be done with it. Thoughts?
A billowy white shirt is a nice touch if you can swing it. I suspect, however, that whatever you put together will be just fine for a fraternity pirate party!
I don’t think I’ve got one of those, but my gray pajama-y shirt from the Gap will have to do. Thanks!
My costume last year was a pirate – I had a black silk baggy blouse and a corset (corset optional) and a long fake leather coat and a big hat with a feather and way overdone eyemakeup, and leggings and knee high boots.
My husband is going to be out of town for a month, so I am staying up to drop him off (and a couple coworkers as the Official Carpool Driver) around 2am so he can take a bus ride, two plane flights, and an assortment of other transportation. Then it’s just me and the kittens for a month!
(ps if anyone knows how to fit three burly dudes, one of whom is 6’6, and a fuckton of duffel bags into a Honda Fit LET ME KNOW because I think we’re going to have to get Hermione’s beaded bag for this trip)
+1 for the HP reference!
Stack them horizontally.
The luggage? Or the dudes? Or both?
Dudes. Then you can just squish the bags into any open space left.
I’ve got two very important questions to ask my fellow Toasties.
Question the first: I need a new wallet, preferably not over $100 (less is better!) and with lots (and I mean fucktons) of space for credit cards. Any recommendations? I got my last wallet on etsy and it’s great, but since it’s all cloth it fell apart really fast. I don’t really care about the enclosure method, but it should be able to close even with all the slots filled (I’m looking at you fossil wallet!).
Question the second: Should I go to a work happy hour I’m meh about? My coworkers are harassing me because I never go to these things, but that’s usually because a)I don’t really care (introvert and lightweight!) b) I see them ALL THE TIME and c) I just want to go home on Fridays. Also, I had a stressful week, verging on shitty and my pajamas are calling to me. But then again, making an effort, not being a homebody, etc etc.
I have no input on the wallet thing, but fuck going to an after work event that you don’t care about. If you don’t want to be a homebody, be a non-homebody with people who rock your world. Don’t waste your precious time, energy, and booze money on co-workers who don’t make you wanna dance.
I agree, but also, can you, get tonic water with a lime, knock it back and stay for a grand total of thirty minutes to get them off your back? Unless you think they’ll pressure you to stay longer, in which case I say go straight home, do not pass go, etc.
Yeah, maybe be like “I have to be home by x, I am doing a thing” but maybe show up for a soda and some tater tots? It really does help work relationships longterm in my experience, but there’s no reason you have to hang out for a few hours or whatever unless you want to.
While the other advice was excellent, this is what I kept thinking to myself as I walked out the door today. Thank you!
I love my all-et! http://www.all-ett.com/ It is thin even with lots of stuff in it!
Oh, these are intriguing! Do they really stay thin? I have like 12+ cards (I have a lot of library cards).
I skipped the mandatory christmas party this year and felt amazing for doing it.
I got my Kate Spade wallet at a Kate Spade outlet for $60, so your mileage may vary depending on if you have a designer outlet-y place nearby, but it is AWESOME and has space for like 15 cards and the whole thing zips shut. It’s comes in a bazillion colours and it’s sturdy as fuck.
This is what it looks like open. You can’t tell but there’s actually a pocket behind the pockets!: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_i1aqPb6wYFM/TFoEbaKi25I…
You read my mind! Zippy Kate Spade outlet wallets forever (especially if it coincides with one of the nifty sales they have).
It’s my first “big-girl” wallet and I love it. Also, you can zip your phone and a chap stick in there and basically not have to carry a bag for a fancy night.
Man I was just trying to find the brand of the wallet I just got, but I can’t find it anywhere on the wallet. It was $16, it’s real leather, very pretty, and it holds just an enormous amount of stuff. SO MANY CARDS. And my birth control! The only thing it’s not great for is carrying a bunch of cash. I found it in a local fancy-indie-things store, maybe check if there are wallets at any such places in your area?
I usually get my wallets at Marshall’s/TJMaxx. There are always a ton of options plus reasonable prices.
I got a wallet I love for about $40 at Nordstrom Rack during the Christmas holiday. I think it’s pleather. I’d look around the discount places like that, as they tend to have fairly quality p/leather goods.
Don’t go to happy hours you don’t want to go to on weeks that are especially stressful. That’s a great recipe for accidentally getting too drunk and saying extra bad things (although that could just be me.)
I have this wallet and I’m obsessed with it: http://www.saltboxnyc.com/day-wallets.html BUUUUUUT it seems to be sold out EVERYWHERE. If you can find one on ebay or something, I’d definitely recommend it. It does start to get a bit frayed around the edges after awhile, but it holds a ton (I think there are 12 credit card slots, and they’re roomy to double/triple up as needed; there’s a zippered coin pocket, and a separate ID holder), is mad cute, and isn’t ridiculously expensive.
There is a wallet brand called Big Skinny that makes a whole range of wallet sizes that will hold quite possibly everything. I have their passport holder one and it is pretty sweet. I think they also make leather ones if you want to be fancy and stuff.
Toasties! Exciting news–my boyfriend and I are moving in together. We’ve been talking about this and what it would mean for ages, and we finally decided we were ready. I am curious–how have other handled paying for groceries, etc., when moving in together? We are looking for ideas.
My boyfriend and I have been doing that awkward trade-off ever since we moved in together: “You bought groceries last time, I’ll get this one”–“I picked up your bar tab yesterday so can you buy the bulk paper towels”–“I guess we’ll just split the check this time oh god this is frustrating.”
We keep talking about getting a joint checking account for stuff that’s for the both of us, but it’s been a year and a half and that hasn’t happened yet.
ETA: What I’m trying to say is, figure out a system. Systems are really useful. And maybe you could figure out what your average utility bills will look like and divide them accordingly? (i.e. he pays the gas & electric, you pay the internet bill, or whatever)
I’ve lived with my beloved for nearly ten years now and we still split everything. Like, I give him a check to help cover my part of the mortgage (the house is in his name), etc. But I am really weird about my money and also maybe I have commitment issues so this works well for us.
Exciting about moving in! When I was living with 5 other people and we shared all expenses (#college), we used splitwise (and paypal)! It was THE BEST and a great way of keeping track of and dividing everything without getting crazy in the middle of the grocery store. I mean, living with a boyfriend is really different than five other stressed out, slightly drunk weirdos with tenuous relationships, but if you want to be really, really precise, I’d suggest splitwise. (Anyone who is sharing expenses with several people: USE SPLITWISE (and then paypal), IT IS THE BEST.)
Splitwise is amazing.
Ahhh my boyfriend and I have decided to move in together too so I am very interested to see what other people have to say about this. Best of luck!
Thanks; good luck to you too!
We use a cost-split app and enter shared expenses when we incur them! I am currently owed some $, which is great because I get to be like “BUY ME THIS!”.
Overall, we have an arrangement where general grocery expenses are shared, but if I splurge on very fancy groceries or things to throw a party with, they’re my responsibility unless we discuss it first. I make a good deal more money than my boyfriend and am a bit spendy, so we had to work out how not to let me unilaterally decide to spend more money on his behalf than he otherwise would and also to not let me feel constrained by his budget. It works for us, but caveat we haven’t been doing it thaaaaat long.
Ooh, which cost-split app?
It’s called…. Cost Split! Hahaha. It’s like $0.99 I think. I like it because it syncs with other phones so everyone can see all the expenses and enter them, which streamlines the process and eases the job of the de-facto administrator of everything (me).
We live with other people, so it’s good for roommate stuff too. And AMAZING for group trips. It’s like the only thing that has every worked for me on group trips. You can weight people differently and round to the nearest dollar and etc etc.
I just bought an appleTV for me and my beloved, and… put it in the app!
Out of curiosity, what type of agreement do you have in place to deal with your different budgets? I’m in the same situation right now, but as the non-money-having party, and it’s stressing me out. Like what if you two want to go out to a nice restaurant or something? Do you just do it less frequently, or do you pick up the tab, or…?
When I was the non-money-haver, I would buy groceries on sale and cook most of the time (which I did for myself all the time anyway, not a new thing imposed by Expectations of The Patriarchy) and the bf would always comp nice dinners / HHs/ brunch. It seemed to balance itself out both in Actual Money, making sure we ate food and each of us feeling like we were chipping in and not mooching.
We split expenses by percentage of income- since he made twice as much as I did, I paid 33% of rent, he paid 66%, I’d pay every third time out (we didn’t keep super close track on this one- sometimes I’d just pick up the cheap meals and he’d do the expensive ones), etc.
Also, the rule has to be that the non-money having person has veto power over money spending activities, or else things get unsustainable and stressy.
We also use a cost-splitting app – Splitwise. It’s great, actually, because it’s what my other housemates/landlord use too. Right now I’m earning more than bf, so frequently I treat him to dinner etc., although I can tell he feels weird about it sometimes. But he shoveled all the snow when it snowed 6 inches, so… even? I guess the most important thing is to keep a dialogue open.
When I moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) we sat down with some beers and talked very honestly about our salaries and finances. As he was making more money than I was (and still does) we agreed to split rent and bills based on the percentages of salaries we brought to the table. I think I ended up paying like 40% of things and he took the rest. For groceries, we took turns buying. We kept our separate chequing and credit card accounts, but after a few months opened shared savings accounts for shared goals – vacations, emergencies, the upkeep of his two cars (one is now basically my car), and our “going out for dinner fund”. We contribute into these based on the percentage of incomes. Anything left over after paying rent and bills, and making our saving contributions is free to be spent how we choose. Personally, having my own chequing account (I keep a good chunk in it that is mine and mine only) and credit card, as well as my own retirement fund is really key. My husband appreciates it as well – he says it makes him feel like I wouldn’t stay with him if I didn’t want to, because I would be able to leave. Number one most important is the communications though – talk about your money openly and honestly and often!
This was more or less exactly what my hubs and I worked out. The one thing we had to sort out was, should the person who makes more also have more discretionary personal spending? Or should each party get equal personal $? We went with the latter, and it worked really well when we were both working. Then he started grad school and now I am a sugar mama who is 98% O.K. with it. But he still gets an allowance, which is equal to the amount of spending money I keep for myself. We’ve only recently gotten a joint cc for joint expenses, so the jury’s still out on that accounting mechanism. But I wouldn’t yoke my credit history to somebody who’s not also legally bound to me, just because yikes.
My fiancee moved in with me, and therefore was kind of subject to the choices I’d made – the condo I’d bought, the phone/internet service, etc. Also, her income was and continues to be variable and much lower than mine. We agreed that I’d keep paying the mortgage, but she wanted to pay the condo fees. We take turns paying for heat/light, and we take turns buying the groceries, and then I cover everything else.
I’m the only one who drives, so I’m responsible for the car payments and insurance and gas. I do drive her to/from work whenever my own work schedule allows, though.
Once we’re married, I think the plan is to have one joint account that all our bills come out of, and to have separate accounts that we put an equal amount of money into each month. That way we do each have our own money that we can spend without being accountable to the other person, but everything is as fair as we can make it and we both contribute to our shared bills and expenses as equally as we can considering our respective incomes.
Your married plan is what we do as married folks and I like it a lot because it feels very “one team, but independent people” to me. It also helps on the discretionary spending front since most of our discretionary spending comes out of our “allowances” which are capped month to month.
I am also moving in with my boyfriend, so thank you for starting this thread that I may also partake of the advice!
We had been doing the “you get this week’s groceries, I’ll get next week’s” for about six months without an app to help us remember who owed what, but things have been a lot easier since we recently opened up a joint checking account for shared expenses like bills, groceries, shared stuff for the apartment, going out for a drink together, whatnot. The plan is for each of us to transfer the same amount each month into our shared account (since our salaries are pretty similar) while still maintaining our own checking accounts for personal things.
We trade off unevenly to whoever has more money. We also sometimes do “you pay for groceries and I’ll do more housework”.
Mostly just communicate about expectations early and often and things generally work out.
We make similar amounts of money, so we’re pretty much splitting things 50/50. We tried alternating who gets the groceries, but he works longer hours than me so I ended up doing most of the shopping. Now we’re just keeping a list of grocery bills and evening it out at the end of the month. Since I moved into his place, the mortgage and utilities are in his name so I just pay him half of them basically as “rent”.
Since we live in an area where after 3 months living together we technically are automatically “common law” we included most of this in a sort of pre-moving in contract that also specified that we’re not splitting assets and debts 50/50.
3 months?!?!? Jeez you gotta be careful who you pick for a summer sublet even
My husband and I didn’t really get things figured out until we got married and got a joint checking account–which you don’t have to be married to do, of course. Now we use the joint account for rent, utilities, groceries, dinners out, and other shared stuff. I make more money, so we split our monthly contribution about 60/40. We each maintain a separate checking account for personal stuff. We’ve been talking lately about consolidating our credit cards and paying those down out of the joint account…which gives me the heebie jeebies, but I’m not sure why.
When you start talking about money, and it feels like the worst, take heart. Talking about money is very stressful and difficult, even for two people who basically agree with each other. Good luck!
What are some fun activities for 2 people who are varying degrees of bed/couch-ridden for the weekend? We have lots of netflicks cued up and board games for when we can sit upright. What else???
Sketching/cartooning/making crazy ridiculous art together?
Reading out loud to each other in ridiculous voices?
Mad libs? Radiolab podcasts? Reading plays out loud? Coloring books? Buy all the colors of crayons for that one.
I’m so tired. I’m tired in my fingernails and eyelashes. I’m going to fall asleep in the fridge. I’ve been drinking boatloads of caffeine at work to try and keep myself awake and then going home and sleeping sleeping sleeping. Doesn’t matter how much. 7 hours. 10 hours. I have stayed in bed for 20 hours. I am still exhausted. I wish I could just be in a coma for a while so I can get enough sleep to where at some point I feel alive when I’m awake and not in a permanent lucid nightmare.
Your body is probably telling you to enter a period of bona fide hibernation because it is dark all the time now.
This makes more sense than anything has ever made to me and I shall now take to the… cave? I can’t imagine that the sea would be a good environment for hibernation. Unless I was allowed to live at the bottom of it. Like Ursula the Sea Witch. With whom I strongly identify.
I hate to be this guy, but it also could be your body telling you something is seriously up… Maybe a visit to a good doc may be in order?
Oh no that sounds terrible I’m sorry.
I wanted to leave a really sympathetic comment earlier but I was too tired. I type in mostly lowercase lately not as an affectation but because I am sincerely too tired to press the shift key. advice..what is some good advice…take vitamin D? I do that but nothing happens but I imagine it would be even worse if I didn’t. yesterday I went home sick halfway through the day but to be truthful it was going home sleepy. shh don’t tell. if you have an accommodating sick leave policy I recommend this
and, and I expect you know this, but if you go to the doctor and tell them about this they will probably tell you to give up caffeine. it is best to work out a strategy in advance if you know this is coming. like try to projectile cry right on them when they say it.
:(((
are you on any medications? I was on an SSRI and after awhile I got that sort of exhaustion as a side effect – no matter how much I slept (and for a lot of this time I was sleeping 10+ hours a night), I was still really tired the rest of the day. It was awful but did eventually go away after a few months of going through celexa withdrawal.
I’ve been on Celexa for a couple months and it’s also been very cold and dark, so I’ve been having trouble telling which is making me want to sleep all the time. Thanks for the info on your experience- though as we all know, there is absolutely no pattern or predictability to anti-D response, because that would just make it easy to pick the right med on the first try, and where’s the fun in that?
What I wouldn’t give for 2,000 of those french fries right now. Also the burger. Oh my god I need lunch.
I am so unhappy with my job you guys. I’m developing so many anxiety-related ailments! It hurts to breathe too deeply, I have a slight eye twitch, and I gained five pounds because I’m too depressed and not motivated enough to be active (also, desk job). Totally not sleeping anymore, because I stay up too late since I’m dreading the next day. I’ve only been here for two months but I can already tell it’s not for me and have spent enough time with my bosses and seen their job duties to determine that, even in a few years when I move up the ladder it won’t be for me.
I’d love to transition to a smaller agency, with a more relaxed culture, and a place I interned at two years ago has a job opening I applied for and would absolutely kill to have (I know they liked me, and I still keep in friendly contact with my former boss, who said he’d put in a good word for me). Three friends from college and I are also in the first stages of brainstorming our own agency, but that might not come to fruition until this time next year. Basically I’ve never been this unhappy ever and I’m not sure what to do, because my boyfriend and I are moving in together soon and I definitely need the money too much to quit.
I was in a job like that and got SUPER sick both mentally and physically as a result of it, and wound up getting fired because I was too fucked up to do my job. I really REALLY wish I’d been able to get my act together, search for a new job, and give two weeks’ notice (I loved the people I worked directly with) like an adult instead of just… burning out horrifically. I hope you get the job you already applied for, but even if you don’t, I hope you are able to work out some fiscal alternative to your current work situation because dang that kind of thing is just… really bad. I feel for you.
Yeah I really like the people I work directly with – occasionally one of my bosses is kind of short with me because I think that’s just how she gets when she’s stressed, or she’s not used to training juniors because I’m the first she’s had to, or because I’m starting to get shitty at my job because I’m stressed, or all three. But I would actually be a little sad to leave because they’re generally good people and I’d feel like I’d be letting them down.
That sounds awful. I hope that the opening at the other company pans out! In the meantime, is it the kind of job where you can compartmentalize it off from the rest of your life, and just do the minimum you need to get through the next little while? Not that I’d advocate doing a shitty job at work, but if there’s any way to be “on” for the hours you’re required to work, and then kind of mentally close a door? Whether that means walking around the block 3 times when you get home, or meditating after work, or whatever? I think since you know this job isn’t the right fit for you, knocking it out of the park isn’t really all that necessary.
Unfortunately not, since it’s a job in advertising, and part of the advertising agency culture states that you’re a slacker if you don’t work your (unpaid) overtime or ignore your Blackberry (yes, Blackberry. They gave me a Blackberry so I have no excuse for not answering a call if I’m not in the office) at 10 PM on a Tuesday.
Ugh, that sucks. FWIW, re: your response to @brigidkeely above – I think the one thing you should *not* worry about is letting people down if you find a new job, give notice, etc. That’s not letting them down, that’s being professional and following the right career path for you.
Can I just say that I’m really happy to have started to comment and read the Toast more? This site is my kinda weird and I have warm fuzzies.
P much everyone I know reads The Toast to the point where I was talking with an old friend the other day about submitting something here and she was all WTF R U TALKIN BOUT???? and I’m all whuh? bwuh? we do not share a hive mind on this? HOW? It was jarring!!!
I don’t think anyone I know in real life reads the Toast, except for some of the links I constantly send them. I think that means I need better friends.
I have a few friends that read the Toast, but mostly I just link things on Facebook and then when I mention it IRL people are like, “oh right, that website you keep linking to.”
It is weird that I kind of like that my Toast/Twitter people are quite separate from my IRL people?
I’m the same! I want to support The Toast by by increasing readership, but I also want it all to myself.
Wish I had happy things to say, but I’m basically just sitting at my desk right now and freaking out because one of our cats is sick and we have no idea what it is. He just started diarrhea/vomiting yesterday and is obviously feeling miserable. Boyfriend took him to the vet this morning, and they did X-rays and said there didn’t seem to be anything blocking his intestines (thank god), but nausea/stomach pain/digestive stuff is such a vague symptom in cats as well as humans that there are a LOT of things to rule out.
My stomach is like a giant knot of worry right now. :/
Oh no, poor little sweetie. I hope you/they can get it figured out soon!
Thanks. I’m glad that it’s at least the weekend so I’ll be able to keep a close eye on him.
I just read that it’s possible for people to pass along the flu to pets, at least the strains currently floating around in NorCal. Someone thought she was going to have to put her kitty down, it was crazy-hard for the vet to diagnose anything, then, boom! WonderKitty on the rebound! Praying this is your story too, and sorry for the stress and uncertainty.
Whoa, I’d never heard of that! Fingers crossed that it’s something that simple/treatable. Right now he’s crouched on the bathroom floor and refusing to make eye contact, which is heartbreaking. Although I might feel similarly if I had been taken for a doctor’s visit that included an anal probe and an IV and then fed terrible-tasting medicine.
Aw, I’m really sorry. I hope he feels better soon and that it’s an easy fix.
Thanks, I appreciate it. Trying to keep optimistic.
Mr. Blazes interviewed yesterday at [amazing indie comic publisher]. Now the waiting begins. I feel like I should be lighting candles or leaving fruit at the feet of a statue or something.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh good luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So my husband has been in kind of a funk this week thanks to job hunting and I want to surprise him with a little something to cheer him up. My go-to is usually craft beer + a few rounds of Mario Cart, but does anyone else have ideas for the man equivalent of surprise flowers/chocolate etc.?
hm. I feel like you nailed it with the craft beer + mario cart! but if I had to add anything it would be a “sit back and let me do allll the work” bj. but ymmv. 😉
Yes, I would like to know this too! Basically I always want to bring my boyfriend flowers as a nice treat, but he’s not into flowers, so I need an equivalent type of thing. Food and booze are the only alternatives I’ve come up with.
I will speak only of my experience with current BF, but if I wanted to cheer him up and surprise him I’d buy him his favorite booze and then basically follow noodge4lyfe’s advice and give him a reciprocation-unnecessary BJ.
what about a get-out-of-the-house thing (since I know a lot of job-hunting these days in computer-based). A movie? Hot tubs? Trivia night? A hike? ice skating? driving somewhere unusual? (followed by beer + mariokart)
I bring my boyfriend cheese! (And craft beer). I go to this store where they sell his favourite cheese. To be honest, I feel like my boyfriend does not respond as strongly to “cheer-you-up surprises” as I do and really needs just loving cuddles and a night off of my constant talking about my feelings and upcoming plans, and also the always-welcome bj.
Yesterday my company did some surprise mass layoffs. I made it, even though other people with similar backgrounds and more experience got cut. One of my best office friends is gone, as well as the woman I was assigned to mentor a couple of months ago (most of the people to go were women which is extra depressing given that we’re all scientists). For obvious reasons, I’m not feeling very secure at my job right now and I’m so not looking forward to potentially having to be hunting for new positions.
🙁 Lots of internet hugs to you!
That’s really scary! I have been through the same thing. Fwiw, I think these things do often happen all at once (barring a going completely out of business scenario), but they are still terrifying.
Toronto Toasties: have you guys heard the terrible news that the Book City in the Annex is closing? It’s heartbreaking, every time we lose another bookstore. I think I’m going to go out and show my local independent store a little love and cash.
This makes me so sad!! I don’t shop at that particular Book City but shop frequently at the locations on the Danforth and in the Beach. I love them so much and I don’t want to see another one of my favourite shops close. I still have a bedraggled Pages bookmark that my husband and I fight over for book-marking purposes.
I know! It makes such a different having a local store to go to … ugh. Darn Amazon and Indigo.
Here’s a lovely post mourning the loss: http://picklemethis.com/2014/01/16/the-saddest-ne…
One of my good friends’ father was the owner of Pages and it makes me so sad when I think about Pages closing, since it was his pride and joy.
I really loved Pages. These closures are devastating.
I used to spend hours at Pages browsing (and buying) after my first husband and I split up. Even though it was associated with that time my life, I was so sad to see it go. Are there any other places to browse other than Book City and Type?
This news is crushing – it’s been bringing me down all day. It’s my go-to neighbourhood bookstore. I don’t even know where else to go? There are so many great used bookstores in the area, but where will I buy new hardcovers etc? Ugh. Book City is so awesome, and this is so sad.
Yes! omg I’m so sad. I’m not a huge Book City fan (I don’t find their prices especially competitive and their used book selection isn’t great), but the principle of it!
I will be GUTTED if they close the BMV in the Annex, since that is my go-to bookstore and they have an amazing selection, especially of local authors from Toronto and the rest of Canada. They closed the BMV on Queen West like a year after it opened, so I don’t have high hopes :
The past two weeks I’ve been consumed with a new obsession.
Every night, I’ve been watching YouTube videos of people making fake miniature food out of polymer clay. It is INSANE. This one woman made an entire order of White Castle food complete with tiny wrappers. And then there are the tiny layer cakes with itsy bitsy piped frosting details. Anyway, I’m pretty crafty so I think I’m going to buy some supplies this weekend and give it a go. Totally normal hobby for a grown-ass woman.
Dude, I love youtube videos of people doing crafts. Have you ever seen that one-stroke painting technique? A lot of people make videos of it, and it’s mesmerizing. Now I need to look up the clay thing.
I’ve never actually gotten into a craft from watching it online, so you have far more initiative than I do.
Whoa, I’ve never even heard of one-stroke painting. I must check this out.
AH! My brother and I used to do this when we were growing up, although nothing very artisan quality. Just made little figures, or foods and baked them in the oven. Totally a fun hobby.
That sounds like SO much fun! I’d love to see your stuff!
I am also recently obsessed with people making miniature food out of polymer clay! I actually posted pretty much that exact sentence last week on Twitter, shortly after watching that White Castle one (while interjecting, wholly without irony “You are a GENIUS” and “WHAT?! Look at that!” throughout). I can’t believe how real they make it look. I want to start making it too, and then just send people a tiny macaron in the mail with no explanation. Or make tiny versions of the food I’m going to eat that week and set them up side by side. Or leave a tiny plate of cookies in the breakroom at work.
Yes! I would totally mail tiny pastries to all of my friends. I had almost the same thought as you of making, like, a dozen doughnuts and then bringing them into work and sending out an e-mail to my coworkers saying I brought doughnuts, which might actually piss them off instead of delight them.
Have any 3DSers played the Bravely Default demo? I loved it! I also do not get why Square Enix did not slap the Final Fantasy name on it. It’s basically 4 Heroes of Light II.
My roommate has been playing it and seems to think it is good? Should I get into it or just wait until it’s released?
The content in the demo isn’t actually in the game so you won’t have to worry about having to replay anything in the full release. Apparently there are a few bonuses that will carry over to the full game if you complete the demo.
I enjoyed the demo quite a bit, but if you’re into FFV/4 Heroes of Light job systems and turn based RPGs, then you’ll probably be safe just playing the full version.
Oooh. Well, I’ll grab the demo this weekend if I remember and report back next week 🙂
People, can we talk about acupuncture? Have you tried it, how was it? What is it supposed to accomplish, anyway? I’m making it my mission to try one new and exciting thing per week, and acupuncture is on my list.
Clinical studies have shown that it’s exactly as effective as random pokings. You might get more out of a professional massage.
I love acupuncture – there are lots of different ways to do it from the full body spa-like acupuncture (which is pretty cost prohibitive but suuuuper nice) to the “community acupuncture” style which usually just utilizes points on your arms, lower legs, head and face. A lot of the community acupuncture clinics charge on a sliding scale, and for ongoing therapy it is a real benefit.
From a scientific standpoint, the best explanation that I’ve found for acupuncture’s success says that it reduces sympathetic nervous system stimulation, so it ratchets down your stress responses. This is the main reason I use it. But it can have a number of other effects – my husband uses it for pain management when he effs up his back, and he is back to rights in 1-2 days instead of 3-5 days. I also use it to help with my polycystic ovaries, and my cycles definitely improve when I do it.
You feel the needles going in, but they’re super thin and you basically don’t feel them after the initial mini poke. Sometimes they hit a nerve, and you just tell your acupuncturist that it doesn’t feel good, and she/he will remove it.
obviously we’re all unique snowflakes so you may not benefit as much as or like we do, but I say give it a try! good luck!
Acupuncture is the only thing that got nine months of chronic UTIs under control for me, so I looooove it. I go to a community style clinic, so it isn’t incredibly private, but I enjoy it. Finding a good practitioner you can talk to is key
I think if you have a specific issue you want to correct, it may help. I did acupuncture to try to improve menstrual issues. It seemed to work for awhile (placebo effect?) but then I stopped showing improvement. It got to be really expensive so I stopped going. It IS very relaxing.
If you do end up doing it, try to think of what you want addressed because the acupuncturist will ask you what you want to work on. Also, don’t be nervous because it does not hurt.
Prompted by a Harvard Med and NE School of Acupuncture study showing the efficacy of acupuncture on endometriosis, I underwent a course of it for same. It worked farrr better than HBC and about as well as abdominal surgery for me.
These responses are so interesting! I wanted to try it just once for funsies and to get out of the house, but a lot of you mentioned menstrual problems and that IS actually a big issue for me. Hmm! I will report back.
In my experience it REALLY depends on the acupuncturist! The first time I went it was a dreamy and magical experience, I only felt about 2 needles go in, my therapist and I were really in sync and she cleared up this dark-heavy mental fog I’d been carrying for MONTHS and I felt like a clear-headed New Person walking out of there that lasted for a good long time. But then I tried another therapist when I moved and I got dizzy and nauseous and got a horrible sensation at one needle that made me call the whole thing off and immediately cab home and curl into a ball. Sooo… my experience has been mixed? If you’re in the LA-area I can direct you to Happy Dreamy Magic Lady though.
I’m not an alternative-medicine gal (love me some Xanax) but I was having back problems (I think I pulled something? IDK it hurt so bad and I could barely walk) and I went to an acupuncturist because I didn’t have health insurance and was ready to try anything. It helped so much. I could walk without pain immeditely and the pain stayed away. I’d do it again.
Acupuncture helped keep me active for the two worst years of my chronic fatigue issues. It was a lifesaver. I only stopped going because my practitioner moved out of state and I didn’t want to try to find a replacement for her).
It was the first week of the quarter for students and it was craaazy (we have a ton of construction going on so facutly had to use our printer/copier/computers and we just started charging students for copying and color printing) but a good kind of crazy. I did threeclasses this week and have two scheduled next week (cheers for information ltieracy). I’m exhausted but also weirdly energized. And my student workers brought me flowers because they are precious babies.
Entertainment: Lately I have been watching all of the Stargates. Which I am liking (Atlantis is the best though). Also Sport Relief Bake Off which is balm for my soul. Mostly I miss living in NYC and going to shows all the time (advantages of having actress roommates = cheap tickets to shows). I have to fight really hard against my hermit-nature and inertia to go to entertainment that isn’t on my laptop. Even movies. Boo.
Is McKay your favorite? Because I think he’s hilarious!
I like McKay but Dr. Beckett is my favorite. I love all of Atlantis though. I haaaated McKay for a season or two and then I just started to enjoy him. Perhaps it’s like stockholm syndrome. Either way I enjoy him so much now.
Conversely I liked Daniel Jackson for a few seasons but after he’s descention he’s annoying and I just want sweet little Jonas Quinn back.
I agree with McKay + stockholm syndrome. I really didn’t like him at first either, and there are still times that I hate him. But that’s one of the reasons I like Stargate so much because they character’s aren’t just one dimensional (:
Dr Beckett is so sweet I love him!!
And I adored Daniel at first, totally agree with you about the descention thing.
Aaaand I had to google Jonas Quinn which tells you how much of an impression he made on me :p I haven’t watched the show in years though.
Yes! Exactly! Even when I didn’t like Rodney I felt like I understood him.
My friend sold me on the whole thing saying SG:A had everything I love: smart people in jumpsuits, ladies in charge, and technobabble.
I need to go back and watch the Stargates again! I miss their campy awesomeness, there isn’t anything on TV right now that really gives me that same feeling.
Excitement abounds! Just wanted to share that this weekend is my first anniversary with my beautiful, wonderful, also-a-Toastie wife! We aren’t going anywhere, but we’ve scheduled a nice, long weekend of eating at a bunch of restaurants we’ve been meaning to go to for a while.
Congratulations and enjoy yourselves!!
I start an EMT course on Monday, so that should be fun.
That’s awesome! It’s such an important job.
Does anyone have sage life advice for me? I’ve been stumbling around being a millennial and not getting real work for over two years since graduating, and now I’m in a rock and a hard place of jobs. Last summer I went to Japan, and got in touch with a girl running her own company who wants to hire me as an interpreter. She hired someone to help her with the visa process and we agreed on a start date. We’ve been in touch, but as far as I can tell there’s no visa progress and she doesn’t seem to understand how crucial proper permits are for foreigners seeking work in Japan. She’s very nice and well meaning, so I don’t think she’s having me on. Meanwhile, in my shitty hometown, I somehow got a part time gig that’s 70% exactly what I want to do. The people I work with are lovely, and my intent was to just come in, kill it at the job, and then leave if my work visa came through. I’m completely wracked with anxiety at the thought of sitting down with these lovely people and telling them I’m bailing so soon. Am I not sufficiently in the mindset of a self-interested worker, or am I genuinely planning to do a really shitty thing? I can’t see straight through inexperience and anxiety fog.
Gosh I keep typing out these horrible analogies, so let’s try this:
Basically if your current company can’t offer you what you are worth, don’t feel bad. It’s a business world out there and we have to take advantage of it when we can. If you are worth enough to sponsor to live in Japan, and if your current company can’t provide an equitable experience (in terms of value to you, not the exact same) move on. If they want to keep you they need to raise what they are offering, like a full time position! Assuming you want one. I can’t imagine a firm offering something part time would think its employees would be around long term.
I will add that I felt some guilt leaving my former shitty job, since the small section of not awful coworkers really relied on me. But you know what, they hired someone to replace me! And my old office mate got a promotion since three of us fled and he was the next senior person. People turnover all the time, those left behind will remember you fondly, but move forward easily.
I will actually be looking forward to what people say to you here, because I am in a fairly comparable situation. I’m considering a new opportunity (it’s actually a theological program, not a job) next fall and I just started my current (full time) job THIS fall. So I’m feeling a lot of early guilt about this.
Solidarity, my friend.
But I think what we both need to keep telling ourselves that some jobs are just springboards to what you really want to do. You’ve probably learned a lot and made some great contacts in your field. You do you!
Personally, i dont think this is too shitty. It happens that other opportunities come along and it would be TERRIBLE to turn them down because: bad feelings. DO it!
You are not being shitty; you are being exceedingly sensible. If your visa comes through, tell them that you have had an offer to be an interpreter in Japan that you can’t pass up, that you’ve enjoyed the time with them but this is a great opportunity for you. They will understand. Do your best at the job while you have it.
Very few companies are going to be at all surprised if their more or less entry level employees leave in a short-ish time period. (Particularly their part time, entry-ish level employees). I think the average tenure of someone in my field for their first few years of work is +/- one year at a company.
Do your work well, give two weeks notice if you find another opportunity, and don’t stress about it. Yes, it’s bad to make a habit of spending less than a year at a job (because then you start to look like a job hopper), but it’s totally reasonable to move on to new opportunities as they arise- just try to get a two year stint at a company in your next two to three jobs, if you can. Sometimes you can’t. Things happen, it’s okay.
Also, if you feel like where you’re working isn’t where you want to be, it is also reasonable to be looking for non-Japan opportunities (particularly since your gig is part time- it’s totally, completely normal to look for full time work in that kind of situation). Ask A Manager is a useful source of advice for career and job searchy things.
who’s a procrastinator and beat it? & has thoughts/resources to share? i usually am not this bad at this, and know the usual tips (break it down into little steps, etc.), but those things aren’t working any more right now for some reason and it’s getting out of control.
ugh, thank you.
Have somebody change your wifi password until you get your stuff done :p
I have recently starting taking advantage of “Tasks” in MS outlook – basically if an email comes through that I need to respond to, or I know I have to send someone information or what have you, I schedule it in my calendar with a pop up reminder. USUALLY that’s enough to poke me into action….except on Fridays, apparently.
We have Outlook at work and I make GREAT use out of my task box. Emails that need action get flagged, the flag gets a deadline and when flags start changing colors on me it’s a nice visual cue that I need to do stuff. Plus checking the flag and having the task disappear is hugely satisfying.
(Also makes it easier to keep track of what I’ve done during the year, for self-evaluation purposes!)
I’ve been meaning to try out habitrpg.com, which is basically what it sounds like — an RPG where you level up by performing tasks that you set. I’ve never used it, so I can’t say for sure if it works, but it does appeal to my own procrastinating habits (i.e. prefer the mindless auto-rewards of endless solitaire to the messier real-world accomplishments).
I started using that a couple weeks ago, and it’s definitely helping me. It’s a lot harder for me to forget things/ lose a to-do list whatever with habit rpg. I’ve even done dishes before going to bed a couple times so I could tick it off my list and not lose health points.
I haven’t managed to solve my general-procrastination, but I am WAY better about email now using the Inbox Zero method. I use the Mailbox app. Basically you try to keep your inbox empty, so anytime I get an email I either archive it immediately or set a timer for when I want it to pop back to my inbox. Then anything left in my inbox is something I need to deal with, and the little red number from my phone taunts me. When you’re done you get to look at a pretty picture.
I’m still horrible at putting things off in general but at least now I respond to emails in a more appropriate time! It’s worked really well for me.
Um, this may be me projecting a lot, so just . . . grain of salt it, yeah?
For me, when my procrastination busters stopped working, it was because my mood had taken a sharp dive and I no longer had the mental energy to do those things. You run out of willpower if your mood is awful and you’re using up all your mental energy doing things like convincing yourself to wash the breakfast dishes and tackle your commute.
If that doesn’t sound like you at all, GREAT, but for me, it was a huge thing to realize that I wasn’t a horrible procrastinator, I had some other stuff that needed fixing. So if it does sound like you, if you’ve been feeling extra-down lately, then it may be not that you are a procrastinator, but that you have some mood issues/vitamin deficiencies/thyroid problems/whatnot that need addressing.
An idea! Otherwise: I liked The Power of Habit and The Willpower Instinct for getting my actual-procrastination stuff in order.
Yes, let me second this! I know my current procrastination problem at work is partly associated with being unhappy in my job and not feeling quite like I fit in. (Also it is associated with loving the Toast and reading these comments too often but that is a different problem.) I was a much better worker at my previous job because I liked those coworkers better, enjoyed much more of my work, et cetera, despite making significantly less. I’m trying to make an effort to improve my mood in other ways, and then I have the willpower to do things like get actual work done. It’s a hard process though.
Yep. Also, if you are in the right mood and mindset to tackle things, don’t try to tackle them all at once. Maybe focus on one thing, like doing the dishes before you go to bed, and just focus on that until you can tell that it’s taking less effort. Then move on to another specific thing. I think this is in line with those recent studies that indicate willpower is a finite resource, and that our weak brains can’t really deal with generalized goals. i.e., you’ll have more success if, instead of trying to “eat healthier”, you try to “eat one vegetable with dinner tonight”.
Late to this thread, but I’m also often a terrible procrastinator, and I’ve found that the only way for me to stop is to pinpoint exactly WHY I’m procrastinating. Getting on my own case, telling myself to GET OVER MYSELF ALREADY never works. Even dividing things up into bite-size pieces is not a cure-all.
A book that was really helpful to me in this area is called The Now Habit by Neil Fiore. It helps people figure out why they’re procrastinating, set up fun time before setting up work time, and focus more effectively on work tasks.
Thanks so much, everyone, for all these great tips! Reframing tasks (and possible levels of success) positively instead o f my current super-negative way is helping a lot. The Now Habit is surprisingly helpful – I found it for free in GoogleBooks, for any others interested, and the preview is not too bad.
A lot of my problem is trying to do something that is demonstrably very very very difficult right now — that and being someone who hates the feeling of being judged/evaluated while working and finds it distracting (yet that’s my profession). Oy vey! But seriously, thank you all — it also helps a lot to know lots of us struggle with this and I am not uniquely cursed/irresponsible/etc.
Coding thread ladies!
Because I like to crowd source my life decisions, I’d like to chat with you all about some of the weirdly contradictory advice I’ve been getting from people in computer science lately. I started taking programming classes this fall and really love it. I’ve also been having informational interviews, reading a lot, and talking with people in the field about their experiences. And I keep hearing variations of:
The job market is amazing! There is a serious shortage of developers!
vs.
Everything is outsourced now! And you’ll never be able to compete with people on H-1B visas.
Similarly:
You don’t need a formal degree – just build a portfolio and get certificates in various languages
vs.
A degree will give you a serious competitive/monetary advantage and is worth the time and money it will take to get it.
Interestingly, the people who gave me the most dire warnings about outsourcing are boomers who came out of school in the 80s/90s, so I’m inclined to take their opinions with a grain of salt – even if the job market for CS grads now is much worse than it was in 1995, I’m willing to bet that it’s much better than the current job market for people with philosophy degrees (oh hi!). But it still gives me some pause.
I’m also not sure what to make of people’s assurances that degrees aren’t necessary, especially if outsourcing is an issue, and especially if I can expect to face some gender discrimination in hiring (I think this is a reasonable assumption). I’m definitely going to complete a graduate certificate program, and after that I could do an M.S. It’d be expensive, though.
So, tell me your experiences! Have you had trouble in the developer/software engineering job market, or has it been a breeze? If you didn’t get a degree, how did that work out? And if you did? (I’m particularly interested in the experiences of people who had to go back to school after obtaining a degree in another field).
Hi! So! Yes, there is still a shortage of developers. Many things are outsourced, but I haven’t felt that it’s been a serious hindrance to me.
I would recommend getting the degree, because it’s an easy way to demonstrate a certain level of competence, although you’ll still have a lot to learn. I have never seen anyone’s resume come through without one but with certificates in various languages? That sounds weird to me. But, no, you don’t need an M.S,. in the states at least, in general, unless you’re looking for something really specific (really complex graphics driver work would be the sort of thing that might require an MS). If you want to get an MS eventually, keep in mind that many large companies will pay for you to do an MS, especially if you’re doing it online.
In terms of the job market: getting that first job out of college may be a pain, but far less than other fields at the moment. I got my first job after about four months looking for a video game dev job by getting a contract position working alongside a former classmate at Intel. Networking is your friend here, as are internships (and in the software/tech field, basically all internships should be paid, so keep your eye out for those.)
My coworker has a second bachelor’s in computer science but he is an annoying person so I am not asking him about his experiences.
Thanks for your input! I am specifically looking at this Graduate Certificate/M.S. program, which is designed for people who already have an undergraduate degree in another field. It’s about the same amount of time and money as it would take for me to go back and get another bachelor’s, and it’s designed for working students, so that’s another plus.
It’s heartening to hear that it’s not uncommon for large companies to pay for graduate school – I had assumed that would be about as likely as getting a pension or paid parental leave or other socialist fantasies.
I know my friend at Intel is doing some sort of MS work (I think through the University of Washington online), but keep in mind that if you do it through a company you generally have to demonstrate that it will give them some business benefit, etc. If you’re interested in it, ask managers about their company’s learning/professional development program during interviews. I don’t know much about that particular program, but the UW computer science programs are highly regarded so I think it should be fine if it meets your other needs. I can’t get the page to load for some reason :/ internet here is being weird.
If you go that route, think about trying to get to Seattle for their career fairs- I know my husband’s Austin company recruits heavily for interns (who get paid what I as a degree having person working in architecture get paid) at those career fairs, and lots of other tech companies recruit there as well.
There is definitely still a shortage, and outsourcing shouldn’t be an issue – depending on what field(s) interest you. Do you have an idea of what you want to do? As your classes progress, this may change.
Hello! I used to be a coder lady as well, but left for alternative/related career. A couple thoughts on the degree:
– you’ll get to meet other people in your program, who might be your best job leads on the other side. I generally feel ugh about networking, but at least in my department, it happened naturally BUT has had big positive effects for many of my friends.
– if you end up leaving the field for whatever reason, as I did, having a degree makes a big difference in your credibility. I found my software job coworkers to be very un-snobby when it came to credentials, but other fields, less so. Being able to say “yup, got my M.S.” could be very powerful.
– also, a degree program is a good way to get exposed to different subfields and to see which ones you find fun.
Lazy Day Off Problems: I am out of coffee. I am REALLY FEELING my lack of coffee. But I am in bed and do NOT want to get up and go to the market and GET the coffee.
fuck
There’s probably some coffee-delivery service start up in the city. Artisinal hand-roasted coffee delivered via bicycle.
Let’s do this and get rich, as long as someone else does the bicycling. My butt cannot handle these hills on a bike.
Season 4 Game of Thrones trailer, people! THOUGHTS? Ok here I go [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS] … and thats why I’m SO EXCITED for this season / have NO IDEA what they’re going to do next year, do you think we’ll get all the Sand Snakes? Does anyone else think the series as a whole is going to pull a Walter White w Dany and she will ultimately be the villain? Because I’m so enamored w that theory that if it doesn’t happen I will be disappointed.
I have NEVER thought about Dany being the villain, but I’m kind of into it? Although I did read a great essay (http://meereeneseblot.wordpress.com/2013/09/27/untangling-the-meereenese-knot-part-i-who-poisoned-the-locusts) about how the Meereen subplot is actually not a huge waste of time, and instead it chronicles Dany’s slow process of rejecting her compassionate/nurturing side and realizing that what she actually wants is “fire and blood.”
And yeah, hoping the show spends a significant amount of time fleshing out the Dornish characters and their storyline. It’s not as if they don’t have the time to do it; they might as well do the remaining seasons in as much detail as possible to give GRRM more time to finish up.
SAND SNAKES SAND SNAKES I NEED THEM ALL
I am the only person I know who LOVES A Feast for Crows for that very reason and also insane horribly fascinating oddly bicurious Cercei
I like bicurious Cersei as well, but omg then you get that sex scene where her friend’s ladybits are described as a “Myrish swamp” and then it gets weird.
Sticky little princes D:
UGH both descriptions in the same scene!!!! And same book as “fat pink mast” #NOOOO
And the breast-milk thing! GRRM is like, the MASTER at writing squicky sex scenes.
THEN IT GETS CREEPILY HILARIOUS
fixed that for you
I stand corrected
I do love crazy Cercei. I think the actress on the show has done a great job of showing that its really been there the whole time, but over time & circumstance the floodgates just break.
I said “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat” out loud when Theon came on the screen. I don’t know if it’s book 5 material or if D&D are adding a plot.
Also, ALAYNE, MY BABY <3
Alayne is just gonna break my heart all over again. D: but also 😀
ALAYNE! I hope they give her a strong plot line this season because I find her journey fascinating and GRRM keeps TEASING w sporadic chapters in the last 2 books and I just want to know what its LIKE living in that situation and exactly how creepy [REDACTED] is / whats the end game there. #PlotswithinPlots
Riiiight? Without saying anything overtly spoilery, I’m seriously pulling for her to complete a full pawn-to-queen transformation by the end of the series. And for her to end up personally facilitating [SAME REDACTED THAT YOU MEANT]’s downfall.
The dragon has three heads, so she’s definitely going to marry [REDACTED] and also [REDACTED] who is totally not dead and will turn out to be her [REDACTED].
THE FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC MOVIE PREMIERES TOMORROW
I AM SO EXCITED YOU HAVE NO IDEA. ELLEN BURSTYN! HEATHER GRAHAM! THAT LITTLE GIRL FROM MAD MEN!!
My scalp just tingled with excitement reading that sentence. I haven’t even read the book; I’ve just enjoyed The Toast’s coverage THAT MUCH.
IT DOESN’T AIR UNTIL 8PM TOMORROW NIGHT. YOU HAVE TIME TO READ THE BOOK. READ IT!
I am SO EXCITED!! My Kindle Fire keeps showing ads for it and I squeak with joy every time.
Some guy told a friend that his dad invented He-Man (the toy). AS IF THE COMIC NEVER EXISTED!
Oh, and because I was so thankful for the new recipes posted over the past few wks, Toasties, I made this on Wednesday, it looked badass/impressive, was delicious and leftovers were even better the next day!
http://www.chow.com/recipes/14121-linguine-with-c…
NOTE: I did add a handful of parmesan to finish and it melded into the sauce and it was divine.
I introduced my kid (4 1/2 years old) to Star Wars the other day and am looking forward to watching the other two movies with him as well. He had a little difficulty following the plot, got angry that everything was set “on Earth, these are just different places on EARTH!” and kept referring to Luke Skyflyer, Chewybaka, Robert Kenosha, and the little green alien Minnesota. That and watching Frozen when it comes out on DVD with him are our big entertainment prospects coming up.
Your kid is amazing.
I can’t even lie, showing a kid Star Wars for the first time is on my top 5 reasons to procreate.
Yeah, he wasn’t as jazzed as I was hoping & he got major butt creep and wound up running around and playing for like the final third… but he liked it over all and I was afraid some of it might be too intense/scary for him. Personally, I don’t remember a time when the movies were new. By the time I was 5 or 6 I’d seen them several times. They were as much a part of my childhood as… I don’t know… Grimm’s Fairy Tales or Disney’s Snow White is for most people.
Yeah, I can’t remember not having known Star Wars. But I also can’t remember being surprised that Vader was Luke’s father. I’m kind of sad that I never had that moment. But they were such a large part of my childhood I can’t imagine anything else.
I do not remember seeing and Star Wars movie for the first time; I feel I have always known that Luke and Leia were siblings and that Darth Vader was their dad.
I remember when I found out, because I almost got suspended for throwing a protractor at the head of the kid who saw it opening night and then blurted it out in front of our whole class.
One time when my nephew was being a shit I told him “Oh yeah? Black Vader is Luke Skywalker’s DAD!”. He just stood there with his mouth wide open.
My sister: “DUDE. I can’t believe you just ruined that for him”
Me: “He’s 3. By the time you actually let him watch that movie the whole way through he’ll have forgotten.”
Though kids are many years off for us, my husband is already giving serious thought to movie order. Apparently there are competing theories. My theory is 4-6. NOTHING ELSE. Until they are old enough to un-appreciate them.
It’s the hatchet order! 4, 5, 2, 3, 6. BECAUSE EPISODE ONE IS WORTHLESS.
Episodes 2 and 3 give more insight into the hows and whys of Darth Vader, but only after the huge reveal of Empire, so it doesn’t ruin the surprise. You get more information on the Clone Wars, and it keeps the entire narrative as one about Luke and his journey, which is much more appealing than them being about the fall and momentary redemption of Anakin.
But only if we decide that the prequels exist. Which I’m still unsure about.
I somehow managed to miss Star Wars as a thing, growing up – I’m pretty sure I saw all the originals at one point or another, but possibly not all the way through. Saw one of the newer ones in the theater, I think? Anyway, my friend’s husband had discovered that order (though I think it’s the Machete order, not hatchet) and wanted to check it out, so we all gathered for a marathon on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I get to count myself among the lucky few whose first real introduction to the movies was in the proper order 🙂
I think you’re right, it is called Machete order. Did it work out well? Did the narrative work as Luke’s story still? Despite the utter shit-ness of Episode II, did it come together in the end?
This is vital information! … for, you know… those interested…
It did come together in the end! Granted, I had nothing to compare it to, aside from the bits and pieces I’ve seen (and the fact that it’s hard NOT to be aware of the story and important parts, just by living in the world and consuming pop culture media) but ultimately I’d say it made sense! I really enjoyed it, and it seemed to flow well. Plus, by ending it with one of the originals, it’s easy to forget how shitty the new ones are.
Also, watching them all in a row, in one day, was super fun but not for the faint of heart (or bottom). I got a LOT of knitting done that day, but didn’t want to so much as be in a room with a tv for a few days after.
I just submitted a thing to The Toast! Ah!
And I ACCEPTED it. Ah!
(I’m in a warm, expansive mood today, so if y’all are sitting on pitches, today’s the day.)
Always a bridesmaid. No, just kidding. but if we are fixing something, what about that?
Just also wondered if I we could one day open thread about places people like to submit to/read, as somehow I’m running out of the internet? Is today OT day or are we having another Dr. King Jr. OT?
Baking update: last night I made an applesauce whiskey cake, macarons, and creme brulee. I might have a baking problem… http://asweetspoonful.com/2013/11/at-long-last.ht… is the applesauce cake soaked in bourbon. I hope it’s delicious, I’m taking it to a party tonight!
That cake contains almost all of my favorite edible things! I must make it!
I will tell you if it is tasty on twitter later! I wish I could eat some now but I caaaaaaaaaaan’t.
The only baking problem you have is not inviting me over to consume your baked goods. *cracks knuckles*
Red wine, burger, theatre? This Bartender is my kind of guy/lady.
Jam!
Mr. Hoovian and I are buying a house and we close on the 29th and I am a human embodiment of CONSTANT MID-LEVEL HUMMING ANXIETY right now. I’m treating my stress and worry symptoms with constant painting and repainting of my fingernails (they are currently Dr. Pepper colored (in that they look brown in some light and reddish in others, it’s a color called “Wined and Dined”, I think it’s Maybelline) and also looking at other people’s interior decoration ideas and blogs and obsessing about paint swatches. This is by far preferable to what USED to be my stress habit, which was chewing my fingernails to the quick and biting the insides of my cheeks til they were raw and painful. Now I’m just spending probably way too much money on nailpolish.
And when that doesn’t work I’m PVPing in SWTOR because it makes me feel better. But that’s not packing, which is what I SHOULD be doing. Haaaargh.
AGH, HOW DO YOU EVEN BUY A HOUSE?
My commute, which was bad but manageable, is now untenable (thanks, construction project that’ll go till 2017!!). We’ve been wanting to buy a house closer to my office, but … how does that happen? How do I adult?
Sorry Scandyhoovian for the threadjack but YES. How does house buying work? I’m intimidated. It doesn’t help that my mom is a REAL ESTATE AGENT yet will not help. Grr.
I ALSO WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU BUY A HOUSE, SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN.
Congratulations, Scandy!
I just bought a house. I am dead serious in telling you people to support the goddamn “…for Dummies” industrial complex and buy Home Buying for Dummies. I did not actually buy it, but I wish that I had.
I was fortunate enough to have a homebuying benefit through my work. If you have a job with benefits, you might too. It is part of the employee assistance program, which also includes phone counseling, medical decision support, and I can’t remember what else. Lots of companies offer it but don’t really promote it, so check with HR! My work didn’t buy my house, they just have a mortgage broker they work with that gives employees a reduced rate and comes to the office periodically to do first-time buyer workshops. He was also available to me by phone and email all the time to walk me through everything. It is his job and he is paid for it, so I didn’t feel bad asking all the questions.
Your county or state gov’t might also host first-time homebuyer workshops. Google.
You watch house hunters and everyone has saved up $100k for a downpayment. That is TV, not real life. No one in real life has $100k.
I went into this with basically no savings, but a little research showed me that I could use money from an IRA to fund a first-time home purchase (thanks, IRS.gov!). I was lucky enough to have 401k from an old employer that I could roll into an IRA and then write myself a check. Using your retirement savings to buy a house is a gamble. I decided to do it because I live in a hot market where things are recovering. I wanted to buy before the prices got 2007 stupid again. Only time will tell if it was the right decision. YMMV.
It has been terrifying and expensive, but I love my house like a fierce momma bear. I have more than one bathroom. I have a little scrap of yard. I have room for activities. The walls are bright green because I made them that way. It was worth it. Would recommend.
I am developing a very serious problem, which is that instead of doing any work at my job all I want to do is just hang out here at the Toast all day long. Everything is just TOO GOOD and also way better than work. STOP POSTING SUCH GREAT STORIES AND STOP MAKING COMMENTS, EVERYONE.
YES I HAVE THINGS TO DO GUUUUUUYS. stop being so amazing 🙁
yeah, its not good. when we get fired maybe we can start working here.
“oh, what do you do?”
“I’m a full-time commentor at The-Toast.net”
“I’m a full-time commentor at The-Toast.net”
IF ONLY.
So, Toasties: I started using OKCupid again, and put “feminist” on my profile because fuck the haters. I have been living in a sort of hopeful anticipation of people yelling at me for being SO MAN-HATING so I can block them, but that has yet to happen. HOWEVER: I have an even more amusing story. I had let my inbox there fill up, which means that no one can message you unless they have a premium account or pay a dollar. AND SOMEONE MESSAGED ME. “Hey how are you doing? You seem so awesome that I just spent a dollar to message you. lol. I’m not sure if you noticed but your message box is full. I havent done that with anyone else as I didnt see the point. But I love computer geeks. I am one myself. You are really cute. Anyways, I hope you message me back. If not have a great day and hope you find what you are looking for.” And in my head I was all “umm, thanks, but no thanks” mostly because people who only manage to point out that WE BOTH LIKE COMPUTERS are usually not interesting people, because sharing an interest is not the same thing as soulmates. And I was not into the picture or profile, plus he was a bit too old for me. So I just didn’t answer, though I did clear out my inbox. And thought nothing of it really, until four days later I was having trouble sleeping so I was on OKC looking at a different message, and I got this message from him at 12:45am and it was all “Hey, how are you doing tonight?” and of course I didn’t answer, it was almost 1 am. At 12:59am: I got this glorious screed: “thats the last time i spend any money trying to talk to someone.. ahhh you fucking girls are all nuts.” BULLET DODGED
maybe replace “feminist” with “misandrist”?
I had that in my profile (before I went on dating hiatus in November)! Not sure if it filtered anyone, since I still got rando messages from weirdos, but no one ever commented on it which I found a little disappointing.
Putting “feminism and gender” under things I thought about a lot seemed to dissuade sketchy messages, but that only works when people, like, READ your profile/understand words.
Yep, I noticed an uptick in response quality if you have “feminist” towards the top of the profile, but junk still filters in. Brush it off.
Yeah, it just made me laugh really. Also I liked that the fact that I didn’t answer him wasn’t because I was arrogant or bitchy, it was because I was nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuts cause women are CRAZY if they don’t want to talk to this dude!
Wow, that junk makes me glad I hide my profile from straight people… but geez. I can’t say that all the messages I get are thoughtful, but at least they aren’t angry or gross.
Actually, I’ve found that very few of the messages I get or angry or gross! I’ve only had a handful of messages that I found offensive in any way, and I’ve had a profile on OKCupid for a few years. I just found this one too funny not to tell people. I don’t think I would say that this was because he was straight (actually, he might have been bisexual, I don’t remember.)
Being outspoken about feminism and being queer has helped cut out a lot of the sketchiness for me, too. Except for that one hilariously terrible message from a 19 year old about how I looked dykey but fuckable, capped off with an offer to have a foursome with both of dogs. Strangely enough, I didn’t take him up on it.
I had fairly good results saying my favorite hobby was judo and that “you” had to be spelled with three letters. Turns out that non-feminist dudes are not into women that do combat sports.
This is the thread where we have small panics about Sherlock coming back on Sunday, whether or not we have already watched all three episodes through nefarious means.
WAIT IS IT ON PBS THIS SUNDAY? *GOOGLES FURIOUSLY* AHHHH IT IS YES. I acutally hadn’t had a chance to watch it though I’ve been 100% spoiled by tumblr. SO YES. I will finally be able to see it!!!!!!
I am really only discovering the Sherlock Tumblr community in the past couple of weeks. It’s… fascinating.
I generally stay away from sherlock centered fandom blogs because I like to have a lot of variety on my dash (I follow ~400 blogs) and you can only edit the same 9 episodes so many ways before it’s tiring. But some of the multifandom people I follow post a bit of it every once in a while.
And then S3 happened and I was like ALL I SEE IS SPOILERS ALL OF THE TIME THIS IS TERRIBLE so I made an account to comment on The Toast articles :p
my friends and I came up with a Sherlock drinking game and it helped with the anxiety a little bit although I don’t think it helped with understanding the complex and changing plotlines.
I CANNOT WAIT. I have already watched all of the new episodes (my cover photo on FB is the most innocuous, spoiler-free “Miss Me?” that I could possibly find on tumblr) and i am screaming on the inside until I can watch it on a screen that isn’t 3×4 inches. Buffering is a bitch.
I have them on my Dropbox if you want to download the new episodes.
Once the episodes have Officially Aired In The US, can we talk about them A LOT??? Because I have thoughts.
Oh my god So! Many! Thoughts! So many…….Have you been reading the meta on Tumblr? I first typed “keeping up with the meta on Tumblr” and then deleted that because that would be impossible, but there are so many good entries out there. There’s some really wacky stuff, too, but MAN some of it is (honestly) better written than the show.
I have just discovered the meta on Tumblr. I am currently having my head caved in by the meta on Tumblr. I am also trying to avoid being the lunatic who reblogs all of the meta on Tumblr/posts it on Facebook because nobody needs to know how utterly I’ve gone over the edge.
You and me both, bb. You and me both.
hi, me too. glad to have company in this trying time.
All I really want to discuss is why the Diadem of Ravenclaw is apparently in Magnussen’s mind palace. Is Mind Palace also the Room of Requirement?
Ahhhhhhh I went to run errands almost exactly as you posted this and now I am back and SHEEEERLOOOOOOCK.
Yes, I watched it as it aired on the BBC through nefarious means. No, I have no regrets. Except that this stupid fucking show has consumed my life for over three years now and WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS.
I need advice!! My mother is getting married next month, which, do not get me started, and for a host of reasons I am not willing to be a bridesmaid. I’ve told her I’m perfectly happy to be flower girl (tutu or no tutu, her choice) or sing or just help out day-of… but she doesn’t like any of those options. So she’s asked ME to think of other options, while I am perfectly content to just fly in and show up and sit in a pew like everyone else.
Has anyone else’s parents been married when you were an adult, and how can you be involved with a wedding that you think is happening way too soon and for the wrong reasons? UGH this wedding is going to be a hot mess.
(For the lulz… the groom is a 62 year old virgin, who only moved out of his parents’ house – and then just two doors down the street – ten years ago. We can discuss that instead, if you like.)
maybe contact mtv/vh1 and try to get them to pay you tons of money to record the whole thing? it sounds like it would make good reality tv.
Oh lord I love this idea.
WHY CAN I NOT THUMBS-UP THIS MORE THAN ONCE
Pretty sure you DID think of other options.
Tell me more about this virgin. Like, how do you know he’s a virgin? That seems like a backstory I need.
Oh I doubted my mother when she told me too – because at first she was just all “well he’s never been married, so.” But then I pushed her on it, and he’s definitely a virgin. It’s just mind-blowing. Granted, he’s from a VERY. SUPER-RELIGIOUS. SOUTHERN. FAMILY. so that wasn’t helping matters… I just can’t imagine being even 40 and a virgin and not hiring a pro or even asking a sympathetic friend to help a dude out.
Wow. Please keep us posted on how this turns out for you (if we can’t watch it on Maury that is :/)
My MIL recently got married for the 3rd or 4th time. They’ve been living together for years, making themselves and everyone else in the family miserable with their drama. Real talk from my brother-in-law:
“I’m glad they finally got married. This way they’ll get divorced in a couple years and we’ll never have to see him again.”
What about doing a reading? Pick something that’s nice at the face and secretly subversive.
Or volunteer to be the chief cake taster. That’s a role I could get behind.
May I suggest this section from the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Courts ruling that allowed the first government back same sex marriages in the US?
Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support; it brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, and for their children, marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations.
. . .
Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. “It is an association that promotes a way of life, not causes; a harmony in living, not political faiths; a bilateral loyalty, not commercial or social projects.” Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.
Tomorrow night I’m going to something called “Drunk Macbeth” where the lead actor does a shot of whiskey every time he enters (aka 15 times over the course of a 2.5-3 hour play). Which is basically the best/worst idea ever.
oh i just love this
This is the best idea ever and I am totally pitching this idea to my fellow local Shakespeare lovers.
Eating Fritos, saving my Milky Way caramel-only-version for later and feeling proud of my life choices.
(they would taste soooo much better together…..)
put the milky way in the freezer for later! (unless you have fillings)
I am already a bit wistful that our re-watch of Veronica Mars will conclude this weekend (only three eps left) even though S3 is not the strongest and contains Piz. Still it’s been fun to introduce our 13-year-old daughter to VM. She must be prepared for the movie in March. Her comment last night: “All the boyfriends in this show are terrible.”
Oh MAN I need a VM rewatch terribly. Are you using DVDs? I’m super furious that they took it off of Netflix.
Do you have any access to Amazon Instant video? Through a Prime subscription, yours or otherwise? Cuz it’s recently up there, which my wife and I just switched to, because getting up off the couch to put in a DVD is for people less lazy than us
DUDE I do have that! Awesome, my VM rewatch will be able to happen then 😀 😀
Veronica Mars and misandry in one fell swoop!
Props to your daughter, because that was the right thing to take out of that show. That and Veronica is awesome.
*grumbles* Piz isn’t terrible. Piz is the best. *runs away*
I get it, and he probably doesn’t deserve as much hate as he gets, but he was still a little too close to Nice Guy TM for Veronica. *throws Piz away* …
*throws all the men away*
Veronica and Troy forever!!!
piz D:
I made a bunch of tasty lasagne earlier in the week, and then my girlfriend’s landlady gave me a bunch of pepperoni pizza that she didn’t want to finish (and thought was old, even though it was from Saturday!), sooooo now I have enough pepperoni pizza and lasagne to feed about 10 college students and it’s going to snow this weekend. That’s cool, I’ll just stay in and eat ALL the tomato, cheese, and starch! (unrelated note but I bought Hyperbole and a Half and am almost done reading it and ugly-laughing. No regrets.)
Anyone have suggestions for solo things to do/movies to watch this evening? I’m happy to have a quiet night in with myself but a small part of me is like “THIS IS FRIDAY NIGHT YOU SHOULD BE OUT DOING INTERESTING THINGS WITH PEOPLE!! WHY IS THAT NOT HAPPENING!! PANIC!!” and in order to shut that voice up maybe I need a Plan? What do toasties do on quiet nights in?
I usually watch a romantic movie, like Penelope, Young Victoria, or Bright Star.
OR start a new TV show you’ve been meaning to get into!!
OR WRITE OR MAKE CRAFTS OR ART
(:
ooo I want to do all of those things! Making things! Making things is fun. Thankyou 😀
If you didn’t already have absurd quantities of food I would say cooking! Cooking is excellent for a quiet night in.
Solo nights in = ALL OF THE VIDEO GAMES. And wine.
YES LASAGNE. that’s a helluva plan! and to be honest, I like a quiet friday, me and a bottle of wine, or sobriety, and internetting, or weed and TV, or just being like, okay, im here now, this is O KAY.
Playlists help. Make lots of playlists. Put on makeup. Talk to yourself. Take a bath. You’ll be okay!
I…did my laundry and homework on Fridays in college (I could use all the machines, goof off the rest of the weekend, and gloat a little on Sundays when everyone else was scrambling), so at this point I’m more or less philosophically opposed to Friday night plans. A nice cocktail, take-out, and terrible television is pretty much how I roll, now. My Cat From Hell and a Manhattan is up tonight.
OMG Lasagne + pepperoni pizza sounds like Ultimate Indulgence Night. Usually if I have one of those I tend to go for Cheese Steak Sub + mozzarella sticks, so I salute you.
I am not having a good day. I was going to go to Iceland in late August-early September with my boyfriend and some of his friends. We were going then because I have class year around and my schedule is pretty tight. But they apparently just decided (the friends, not the boyfriend) that they were going mid september, and they bought plane tickets. I feel like I’m in middle school and I just found out all my friends went to a party I didn’t get invited to. I usually assume people don’t like me, so this feels like just another thing to add to the list of evidence.
I’ve been in situations like that before and that sucks, a lot. That is so shitty and so low of people to do. Go to Iceland when it fits in your schedule anyway?! Go somewhere more awesome?! Tell them to fuck themselves?! Those are the only suggestions I have :/
Yeah I might just go when originally planned. I just wish this situation wasn’t hitting all of my self esteem buttons – it would be shitty enough with out that.
I second this! To hell with them, go yourself! YMMV, but I have way more fun when I travel with a smaller group of folks I know really well.
I think you would have more fun in Iceland without the company of people who do things like that anyway.
What a gut-punch. Those people are jerks.
This may be pretty late in the thread and so I may end up posting it again next week, but: I might be moving to Victoria, B.C, sometime this year.
It seems lovely! Do any Toasties want to really sell me on the place (it seems lovely!)? Anyone want to hang out if I do move up there?
I JUST GOOGLE IMAGED THE LOCATION AND IT DOESN’T EVEN LOOK REAL
I know, right?!
I never lived there, but I lived in Vancouver for a while and visited Victoria a couple of times. Honestly, it is so full of scenery to the max, and lush and green and everyone I met there seemed super nice. Apparently there’s some saying that Victoria is where people to go retire or something? Like there’s a whole rhyming phrase about it that I forget, point being, some would consider it a bit quiet or dull. But that’s only if you’re into serious nightclubbing I think.
Plus you’re closer to awesome places like Tofino and all the surfing!
Yes – if you’re idea of fun is a mega club, you will be bored. Otherwise Victoria is amazing. And the rhyme is the “newly wed and the nearly dead”. There is a reputation that its a dull city, but I’ve found that is only true if the complainer is a dull person.
Well, I will be newly wed, and my wife-to-be works with the nearly dead, so that works out perfectly! 😉
As for your question in the other comment: I like reading, theatre, museums, hanging out in coffee shops, going to tai chi (there are multiple classes every single day at the Victoria Centre branch!), beaches, hiking, board games, live music…I kind of feel like I can do the things I like pretty much anywhere, though it’ll be nice to be around oceans and forests again! I am definitely not a nightclub person, but I will make an exception for the gay bar.
Yay for hanging out! I will totally take you up on that if/when I get there. Lot of details to sort out first.
Oh, Victoria is a good city for all of those things. One of my favorite things to do is attend themed “wine nights” at the community center. If you are here by April you could come to “Portugal” with us 🙂
Real talk though – there are almost no jobs here, and salaries are pretty low, comparatively. Housing costs are very inflated. We are not free from social problems, as much as our tourism board tries to make it seem. We also dump all our raw, untreated sewage into the ocean.
I may actually be there by April! Just for training at that point, I think, but I might be there.
If I do go it’s because I’ve been offered a job there, so that helps. I don’t think my fiancee should have too much trouble finding a job in her particular field – she’s a health care aide with experience working in nursing homes, and she’s excellent at her job and would come very highly recommended. She’s been looking and she says there are jobs available, so hopefully she’d find something if we go.
I am a bit concerned about the housing costs, but since we’re a childfree couple we don’t need a huge amount of space. We’ve found places we like in what we assume will be our budget (I already bought a condo here in Ontario, so I’ve been working with what I was told I could get when I bought this place), although we will definitely be getting less for more money.
Well! I hope you like vino verde! There is a strong park drinkin’ community in Victoria.
We’re also childfree, and renters, and we have pretty low standards, so that helps. Shoot me a response if you have any questions about neighbourhoods or anything. Leaky condos are a massive problem in BC, and many haven’t been remediated. Also former grow ops, haha.
VANCOUVER4LYFE.
But yeah, this part of the world is ridiculously gorgeous. Us West Coast babes are always like “mmmhmmm yeah so lovey” in strained polite tones whenever anyone is like “Oh, the Canadian Shield (or whatever) is so beautiful”. Guys, we have mountains shooting out of oceans and plus orcas and stuff. And it basically never snows in our cities but it does on our mountains. Boom.
Join usssssssssss!
Oh! I am going to out myself on the internet! I live in Victoria, and it is beautiful! I will hang out! We can glare at Vancouver together.
Seriously, Victoria is beautiful and amazing. What do you like? I grew up here, moved away for a few years and came back, so I can tell you why here is better for every reason.
Just saw this and Victoria is the besssssstt,
and yes, there is a whole thing about the newlywed, the nearly dead, and the flowerbeds, but flowers are pretty so fuck the haters.
I’m just riding out the last hour and a half at work, running a quick errand, then going home, changing into comfy clothes and MAKING ALCOHOLIC BUTTERBEER. It’s gonna be great.
As for entertainment, I’ll probably be baking all weekend 🙂 I had asked this girl I really like to come to a local market-y type thing with me this weekend, but she had other plans 🙁
Have you a recipe for that alcoholic butterbeer?
Asking for a friend who lives in my stomach and liver.
Basically this one: http://wizardingworldpark.com/alcoholic-butterbee…
I’m cutting wayyy back on the sugar, and eliminating the butterscotch chips though, because I have a feeling cream soda + Irish cream liqueur will already be too sweet.
I’m turning 30 tomorrow and I’m home alone and I just read all my Livejournal entries for every birthday in my 20s. Which wasn’t an entirely productive use of my time, but screw it.
Damn I miss the LJ scene. I still post there, but it’s not the same AT ALL.
Happy birthday, though! Hope it’s fantastic!
That actually sounds like a wonderful way to usher in your birthday – did you get a good sense of the progress you have made and the changes you have survived?
So after not contacting me for almost four weeks, this guy I asked out (who said yes but that he was travelling over the holidays) e-mailed me asking to plan something if I still wanted to get together, SMILEY EMOTICONS AND ALL. So I am planning a date with a boy I like, which has actually never happened. AAAAAHHHH
Eeeeee! That’s so awesome that he followed up… a good sign if you ask me 🙂
Yeah, I’d written him off like three days earlier and had moved right into grieving the loss of our imaginary future relationship/doin’ it, so I’m still having a bit of emotional whiplash. He also sounded a lot warmer and more interested than he did before he left, which is nice, though makes me paranoid that he just doesn’t remember me that well anymore.
Awesome!!!!
You guys, Sherlock? FEELINGS? And related: does anyone know of a bar in Philadelphia that is planning on airing the premiere/ where the bartender could be convinced to do so? (Visiting!)
The only feeling I have about Sherlock is RAGE.
So. Many. Feelings. Yes. My feelings are on the opposite end of the spectrum from Janie_S, though.
There was a window of time (from the start of the 2nd episode to about the middle of the 3rd), where I was having so feelings much goodness wow, but then … :sigh:
I’m in pretty rough shape after an office party last night. I didn’t even drink…but I went out for pizza afterwards, and apparently it’s true that you shouldn’t eat pizza before bed! Because I had terrible dreams about dystopian society and airborne toxic events and woke up in the middle of the night feeling ill. It’s official, I’m getting old.
Anyway, BOSTON TOASTIES does anyone want to hang out this weekend? (I’m up for anything except midnight pizza, apparently)
I’m in Boston and have no plans! I keep not making them because I keep thinking it’s going to snow but then I tell people that and they look at me like I’m crazy which proves either 1. I’m imagining the snow, or more likely 2. what does it matter it’s not a blizzard, jeez.
I don’t think it’s gonna snow. Let’s meet up! Follow me on Twitter @lanrui and I will DM you my email so we can make plans (I can’t figure out a less convoluted way of doing this)
EVERYTHING IS COMPLICATED ON THE INTERWEBS.
Actually that sounds pretty easy, I’ll go do that right now! I’m @avidbiologist
Now I’m curious – did you guys get together? What the heck was with all the snow? Seemed like it took everyone by surprise. My friend sent me an explanation from Mike Wankum which was full of meteorological-speak but which seemed to say, “It was colder than we thought it would be, and the snow didn’t melt in the sky like we thought it would.”
Yes, we got together and it was really fun! A+, would leave my winter hibernation lair to socialize again. I’m glad I’m not the only one who was wrong about the snow. Can they be wrong about the negative-degree windchill later this week too, PLEASE?
I have a celeb crush that I can’t get out of my head: Waris Ahluwalia. hominahominahomina. Anyone else wanna commiserate and share your celeb crushes?
suraj sharma! one-movie-wonder.
oooh, smouldering! but so young!!!!
I’ve had a hard-on for Tom Hiddleston for three goddamn years and it’s getting annoying/embarrassing.
He needs to do/say something horrible soon it is just ridiculous. HE is ridiculous. Ilovehimsomuchcrysobcry
Self-identified feminist and baseball fan Noah Segan. *swoons everywhere*
I think Mallory is my celebrity crush
Okay, I already posted but I have good news: I had my first ever performance review (because I am one year into my first real job) and I did fine! I’m getting some sort of (probably small but still!!) raise! I’m a hella relieved. I didn’t think I was doing a bad job I[‘m just generally nervous. And now I need to be more confident with my decision-making. Yay!
Yay! Way to go!
so, my current favorite entertainment is my kindle, which I got for christmas.
I was staunchly against the e-book thing for years because “I like real books better” and “I love turning pages” and blah blah blah.
BUT since I got this thing, I have read 1-2 books a week for my own pleasure, which I have not done since probably MIDDLE SCHOOL. my boyfriend gets mad at me because all I do now is read. it is a life-changer, which I am loathe to admit but also really excited about. I am apparently too lazy to go to book stores to find books I’m excited about, but clicking “buy” on a screen is easy enough to reel me back in. (shame on me, but also I am not surprised.)
that said, I am sort of overwhelmed with all the possibilities, so… book recommendations anyone?! I have recently read: a butt load of Octavia Butler, the Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman, Last Ape Standing and World War Z. therefore, anything sort of fantastical or sci-fi-y, zombie-apocalypse-related, or related to evolutionary biology is welcome, along with anything else that you’ve recently loved.
Does your local library have e-books? I live in Chicago, and have been downloading tons of library books to the kindle app on my phone. Because I am too lazy to walk the block to the library by my house, or the two blocks to the library by my office for physical books.
On the fantasy/sci-fi question: I have recently started reading Ursula Le Guin and now want to read everything she has ever written. Really cool alternate society stuff, especially the Hainish Cycle series.
The CPL ebook catalog is beautiful and one of the reasons I finally broke down and actually got a Kindle. I have read so much more and it’s made me… happier? It sounds too easy, but it’s the closest to the truth I can get.
Also, I love book-books, but ebooks are just easier and sometimes I’m so busy devouring words that I forget to be ashamed.
If you’re on a zombie kick, have you read the Newsflesh trilogy by Mira Grant? The first one’s called Feed.
SorchaMaire and I were talking about “To Say Nothing of the Dog” on Twitter earlier! It’s a great book. Pretty much anything by Connie Willis is worth reading, but especially that.
CONNIE WILLIS. I basically didn’t lift my face from my book for the week it took me to finish Blackout/All Clear, and I stayed up until 3 in the morning finishing it and then ugly-crying into a pillow.
Definitely Le Guin, definitely Connie Willis (To Say Nothing of the Dog is like a wacky time-travel romcom; Doomsday Book has time travel but is about the black plague, so not so wacky; Blackout and All Clear are time travel about WWII, also not wacky, also very very long, so make sure you like her before you start them). Also, for sure Margaret Atwood’s MaddAddam trilogy, which hits all your points except zombies.
Nalo Hopkinson! Midnight Robber is my favorite, Brown Girl In the Ring is pretty solid, I haven’t read any of her other stuff yet. They’re sci-fi that reads more like fantasy.
And although this meets none of your criteria, the Lord Peter books (by which I really mean Harriet Vane books) are finally available as ebooks which is very exciting indeed.
You could try the Newsflesh trilogy (Feed, Deadline, and Blackout) by Mira Grant, or Parasite by the same.
Backing up the rec to check out if your library supports ebooks. It’s fantastic!
Also, I am currently reading Alif the Unseen and highly recommend it so far — fantasy mixed with technology, and it works well.
THANK YOU all of you! I was vaguely aware of the existence of library e-books, but only just now figured out how to make it happen, and now I have borrowed / put on hold almost all of your recommendations. I thought I could not get any more excited about books, but I just did, because now they can be free.
!!! I knew I could count on toasties(?).
It sounds like you might really like Kraken by China Mieville!
I found the ending of Kraken deeply unsatisfying — what did you think about it? I much preferred Embassytown. Perdido Street Station is amazing but horrifying.
My memory is…apparently not a finely-tuned machine, because I don’t actually remember the details of how Kraken ended. But I remember really loving the depth of the alternate world of the book and how it felt like a genuinely feminist book-by-a-male-author, not that that was even a major point of the story, just that it happened to take place in a world where women were interesting people with personalities and agency, etc.
Have not read Embassytown yet (will check it out!), agree completely about Perdido Street Station, really liked The City & The City, also really liked Railsea (steampunk YA adaptation of Moby-Dick? Okay!) He sure is a versatile writer.
Have you read Zoo City by Lauren Beukes? It’s a little post-major world event, a little biology-ish, mystery/horror novel. I enjoyed it quite a bit!
I very much enjoyed The Golem and the Jinni, by Helene Wecker, this past year. It’s about, um, a golem and a jinni. Falling in love. In the early 20th-century Jewish and Syrian immigrant communities of New York City. It’s a really nice cross between fantasy and historical fiction, and it’s beautifully written.
I spent the $2-3 for the reasonably well edited Wodehouse omnibus (it has commentary and other things I haven’t bothered to read) and it is, as expected, delightful. Although not fantastical or sci-fy-y, in general.
You might like Kage Baker? Sort of sci-fi/ time travely things. Vague memories of there being some sort of genetic component. Sherri S. Tepper, too. She can get a little preachy but in general I love her stuff.
I too got a cheap cheap Wodehouse collection and all the way through it I wanted to shriek at everyone I know “WHY did you not tell me about this awesomeness sooner?” And I’ve been library-borrowing Terry Pratchett at an alarming rate (insert same shriek here).
nthing Mira Grant for biological apocalypse. Also Scott Westerfield’s Peeps. Oh, and Diana Peterfreund’s For Darkness Shows the Stars is a post-apocalyptic retelling of Persuasion with evolutionary biology.
Otherwise, a couple of books I’ve recently enjoyed are:
– Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie – revenge quest space opera with good world building plus bonus interesting use of gender.
– The Split Worlds trilogy by Emma Newman, starting with Between Two Thorns – english urban fantasy of manners with fae, charms, Society, murder and mayhem, and a fantastic animated gargoyle.
Also, there’s some great small press speculative fiction and I like to support smaller publishers and bookshops. My go-to site for small press ebooks is Wizard’s Tower, but if you’re in the US, Weightless Books might be better (both sell worldwide, but charge in pounds and dollars respectively). I occasionally just go and browse around for interesting looking stuff.
I have a gentleman caller. It’s only been a few weeks, so it’s too soon to call him a boyfriend, but gentlemen caller/kindred spirit will work. I don’t take the leap that often, and it’s always a surprise to me to try and keep my brain parts rational while my heart (and other) parts are off in the corner squealing and grinning. Anyways…too soon to mention to family, for sure, so I’m telling the Toasties:)
It’s a cover, but that’s ok, too.
1. very cute, enjoy! 2. I am of the opinion that cover is vastly superior to the original
Are there any awesome single ladies who live in LA and also love video games and/or anime and/or cheesy action movies? My best guy friend moved to LA for job reasons after a bad break up, and is not having much luck in the dating arena, and this is literally the only time I have known a single dude who is worth recommending to other ladies. I know so many awesome single women (but in Texas) but very few single dudes I would recommend to others, but this guy is the best. Ask me anything.
Also, unrelated, about to go get a sonogram, and I’m so excited to see my daughter again! It’s been 10 weeks since my last one. Just 3 months to go! I’m so excited/terrified. Motherhood.
I bought tickets to see Jerusalem, mostly because of Texts from William Blake and the YouTube hole it sent me down.
I think I’m either going dancing at an 80s night (the girl who invited me is cute… not so sure about the music), or to a coffee shop/bourbon bar.
I was going to post something With Content after reading everyone else’s comments, but The Beloved is finally done with his work for the day (I took vacation today because FOUR DAY WEEKEND YO). So now I am going offline but I wanted to say I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR.
Seriously, this site is so great it *almost* makes me not miss LiveJournal quite so much but really only for a moment because damn I miss the good old LiveJournal days and also I am old.
Have a great weekend, y’all!
Any recommendations for a reasonably priced hair salon in DC? Just for a cut.
(Woo, this is the first time I’ve lived in a large enough city that I can turn to the internet for local advice)
By the way, whoever was giving me wine recommendations… two weeks ago? I got the Bota Box Syrah and it is tasty, thaaaaaaaank you!
Also the Charles Shaw Sauvignon Blanc (Trader Joe’s woo!) is pretty good for risotto-ing.
Ooo can we discuss this some more? I was in Paso Robles a few wks ago and had Charles Shaw that was purchased directly from the vineyard and it was 1000xs better that the bottles I get at Trader Joes.
and i love the phrase “risotto-ing” 🙂
Prawns! are you here? YOUR ADVICE WORKED. Never gonna be a poly hater ever again. Just wanna say that.
Also it has been a hard week. 2013 killing my lovies didn’t end. If you need a tax write off, please comment, a good friend passed this week and she did good work we will continue.
Met a really nice guy this week: sweet, smart, well-educated, in my age range…. but then, just as I’m getting completely hooked, he tells me he’s actually in an LDR and says he needs to cut things off. I realized I trusted him implicitly at first because he told me he was Canadian! Thanks Obama Nicole!
(I really, really hope ppl get this joke and it doesn’t come off terribly…)
ETA: He did say ‘sorry’ no less than three times in his last text to me, which at least made me giggle a bit.
ETA #2: This confession/way to put a stop to things happened while I was trying to get him to slow the F down, which I did by asking what his intentions were regarding me and a particular event. This made me feel very Middlemarch.
The Toast has deeply impregnated my brain.
I definitely had a dream last night that included a cameo from the Bergy Bits. Just, as three random babies, but Dream Logic. …I might spend a lot of time on The Toast.
That is bad ass and feels like a solid victory in the War Against the Patriarchy.
Thanks so much, everyone, for all these great tips! Reframing tasks (and possible levels of success) positively instead o f my current super-negative way is helping a lot. The Now Habit is surprisingly helpful – I found it for free in GoogleBooks, for any others interested, and the preview is not too bad.
A lot of my problem is trying to do something that is demonstrably very very very difficult right now — that and being someone who hates the feeling of being judged/evaluated while working and finds it distracting (yet that's my profession). Oy vey! But seriously, thank you all — it also helps a lot to know lots of us struggle with this and I am not uniquely cursed/irresponsible/etc.
Everyone! Thank you so much for all of these tips! The weekend went well and the little girls adored me. So much snuggling happened, and we built a lot of sand castles.
Also, I asked a lot of people, in person, for advice, and many of them said "oh, don't worry about kids" or "why are you so nervous, it's not a big deal!" and I really appreciate that Toasties give such good advice and aren't dismissive!
You are all great.
I am @katieandstuff and just followed you all (that I wasn't already following and faving). Love toasty twitterers 😀