Ok, Toasties. I have my tea, I’ve got my pen. Awesome gift ideas… and GO!
Me, I think everyone should read The Ariadne Objective, who wouldn’t want to know about rescuing Crete from the Nazis?! Murray’s Cheese is also always gold, and did you know you could adopt an olive tree and get sent olive oil for it? Let’s stay away from the obvious such as any kind of booze, because…duh.
So what are your genius ideas? Book recs to look busy instead of helping in the kitchen? Book recs for the beach? Events that you dread?
THE SEASON IS NOW.
Tags: cocktail hour, gifts, meta, open thread, the bartender
Spinning around my desk chair for the last 15 minutes before we leave for the holiday party/holiday break wooooooo.
I just want to let everyone know the night after the Blade II piece ran I dreamed that Wesley Snipes personally thanked me.
This year I was boring because we have so little money.
But I did just see on tumblr that you can sponser the restoration of a skull http://www.collegeofphysicians.org/saveourskulls/ so if you have a spare $200 and a goth friend…
OK self-promotion time! So, you guys remember Someone Has To, that creepy-trees short story of mine the toast published? Well, you’ll love this – in a lot of ways it is the sister work to that piece, shich shall, I hope, become clear in time.
http://woodshouse.tumblr.com/
Ooh, I’m excited for the house in the house in the woods story
long-time lurker, first time commenter, not holiday related other than it is a gift to us all. Amy Jo Johnson, the PINK POWER RANGER, is a singer-songwriter. And, my girlfriend, in a fit of divine inspiration, emailed her asking if she wanted to play a show together. AND SHE SAID YES. I get to meet Kimberly y’aaaaalllllllll. (christmas miracle)
That is SO. AWESOME.
My childhood self is seething with jealousy. Any chance this show is in the SF area?
NYC- she’s promoting a film she directed in early March there. Amy Jo Johnson is a woman of many talents.
When is it? I will totes go.
Not yet set in stone- I think probably sometime between March 11-15 at the Bitter End, but as soon as I have a date I’ll post it.
Even though in hindsight the Pink Ranger was a Problematic Female Character, I LOVED her and I am quite jealous of you/your girlfriend.
(in kindergarten twin and I were both the pink ranger for halloween. we used to sneak downstairs on saturday mornings to watch Power Rangers because our mother forbid us to watch it- Y7 rating and we were 5. We learned multiplication from the Power Rangers Math Computer Game.This is a big moment for me.)
Random internet scavenger hunt question. I’ve seen gifs/screencaps on Tumblr of two women saying things like “does he like you or LIKE LIKE you”, “is it fancy or FANCY FANCY.” Does anyone know what that’s from?!
Craaaaaaap I saw the post that explained this phenomenon linguistically on my dash a couple of times but never saw/don’t recall a source for the gifs and videos. Sorry I can’t help but hopping on here if anyone answers the question.
Australian vlogger Natalie Tran: http://www.youtube.com/user/communitychannel
Thank you!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wv50TLkAYfw This?
This it it!!! Thanks!
Gamer Toasties Toastrons: what are you playing this holiday season?
Finishing up a second, asshole-ish play-through of Dragon Age 2 here (I know everyone else hates you, but I looooove you), then I might finally play the rebooted XCOM: Enemy Unknown. Will name my little soldiers after beloved childhood cats and then watch them brutally die one after another and have a good long cry. Might pick up some cheap Steam Sale indie games to play on my Macbook while I’m traveling, too! Any suggestions?
DA2!!!! I tried to play good!Hawk, and I tried to play asshole!Hawk, but I always end up at snarky!Hawk, because she is the shit. Also, Varric is my favorite, and omg Leliana’s back in 3! (I have a case of the squees, can you tell?)
Haha, the same thing happened to my husband. It all comes back to lulz!Hawke. My first ladymage Hawke could not pass up an opportunity for a terrible joke at the worst possible time. Though I actually find grumpy!Hawke nearly as funny just because he’s all “GRRRRRR!” and then Varric and Bethany roll their eyes and go “Come on dude.”
I too have been in a state of squeedom, ever since the first trailer came out in June, and especially since they posted a bunch of new stuff yesterday. It just looks too damn pretty! Totally gonna do this as a female qunari mage. Also, yisssssss Varric.
female qunair/kossith (kossith is the race, qunari is the faith) warrior for me. I hope I can give her scars.
Good point on the kossith/qunari thing! It’d help if BioWare actually used them consistently too, heh. And yes scars – I missed being able to give my Shepard scars after Mass Effect 1!
I just want to make a scarred, ‘ugly’ kossith/qunari and romance the SHIT out of someone in awkward fashions
Shit, I wanted a romance option for Sten in 1, and Varric in 2. C’mon Bioware, make EVERYONE romanceable!
I’m not even asking for super-awkward sex scenes, just let me love them.
Also, I was super-disappointed, despite Liara indication in ME1 that she’s be up for a trio relationship, that it never appeared as an option in 3. I want at LEAST one ‘realtuonship jealousy’ thing that can be solved by you having both. It’s ok if it’s only a minority of characters and your charisma or speech or persuasion or whatever has to be REALLY HIGH, I just want it.
I just wanted to be able to romance James and when I finally could in Citadel it was just so horrible.
Alix Shepard, forever alone.
Dear Esther! Less a game, more an expereince.
Also: Playing more skyrim/replaying Skyrim because <3.
Can we talk about how disappointed I am that the Fallout 4 rumours were a hoax and now I respond to every seeming hint that it is a thing that will one day exist with knee-jerk cynicism?
Oooo, I actually played Dear Esther when I was traveling during the holidays last year – it is definitely excellent! Also, the stupid ending made me cry. And it is always time for Skyrim!
The Fallout 4 thing depressed me too. On the plus side, some actual real info came out a few days later? (Well, real according to Kotaku; sorry for Kotaku link!) So unclear when we’re ever gonna get more news, but it’s real and it’s definitely in Boston, apparently!
I refuse to trust it because come on, it’s Kotaku.
I am disbelieving ANYTHING unless it’s on Bethesda’s site.
Even then…
LOVED Dear Esther. And I’m replaying through Skyrim too! Trying to decide if I finally want to be a Stormcloak. Answer: probably not.
I was so disappointed, especially since I could not conceive how someone would throw that much time and money into a hoax.
I feel like I may be descending into lameness because I’ve started getting motion sick from anything first person. It’s especially bad with FPS games (I first noticed it when playing Left 4 Dead 2 with some friends) but it’s expanded to pretty much anything first person.
So, I’ve resorted to lighter, more casual games. I’m completely obsessed with Orcs Must Die (and Orcs Must Die 2). You build traps and kill orcs and it’s super fun. Orcs Must Die 2 megapack is part of the most recent Humble Bundle if you’re cheap and/or into charity!
Yeah, I started getting a little of that recently too, feeling sick while playing The Stanley Parable of all things. Something about having one’s peripheral vision cut off, I think? I hope this isn’t going to get worse once Virtual Reality / the Oculus Rift become a real thing…
Oh god, I picked up Mirror’s Edge in the last steam sale, and I just can’t – it makes me unbelievably motion sick, which is a shame, because it otherwise seems like a cool game.
Pokemon. Always Pokeomon.
I have heard nothing but good things about Gone Home, which I downloaded from Steam and then realized my computer is not quite robust enough to run it when the bottom of my laptop suddenly became molten hot.
I am planning on playing The Wolf Among Us and Gone Home (if I can find my mouse, which has been missing since two moves ago). I would have started Wolf Among Us already, but my computer is currently languishing in a repair shop, waiting for a new fan 🙁
A couple other people have suggested it, but Gone Home is my #1 suggestion lately. It’s more of an exploration than a typical game, but it’ll make you cry and have feelings about things. If you like indie games, I’d also suggest Thomas Was Alone, or To The Moon.
Alas, already played Gone Home! Also, already totally frikking loved it. (Like Dear Esther above, it packed a pretty big emotional punch. Not crying!!! *Totally crying.*) Hmmm, it might be time that I finally played Thomas Was Alone, though! Good suggestion! Will either do that or Papers Please (a bit of Christmas cheer, that one!)
I’m playing Kingdom of Loathing, because it’s Crimbo! If for some strange reason you decide you’d like to play a game involving static stick figure drawings as opposed to fancy 3-d action games, it’s good times and the content is excellent (the wiki is also helpful if you feel like cheating). It’s an online game, though, so you do need internet access to play…
I just finished reading Mary McCarthy’s The Oasis, which is a satire about a group of “intellectuals” in the early Cold War years who create a utopia in rural New England and then the two factions (the realists and purists) duke it out. Read if you like to laugh at parodies of libertarian/hippy intellectuals, enjoy people who “gave up capital letters” because they are oppressive and find inexplicable bliss in the name Macdougal Macdermott.
Excellent reminder, thank you! I haven’t read this one yet. I rank McCarthy amongst the top chroniclers of modern life, up there with Muriel Spark, Barbara Pym and Jeannette Winterson
I don’t think I’m ever going to get “Toastrons” to catch on over Toasties.
(Edits her post accordingly!)
I think “Toastrons” is a good term for the gaming subset of Toasties, for what it’s worth.
Or the cyberfeminist academic sect. We’re semiotically delicious.
You could try Toasters, in the derogatory-toward-Cylons fashion.
Ugh guys social anxiety is the WORST. I was at a work holiday party last night and got to see/briefly chat with the dude I have a stupid crush on (stupid because I don’t really know him but he’s so attractive and nice and well spoken and and and…) but don’t get to see that much just because he works in another branch downtown and our jobs don’t have many opportunities for interaction. Then he ended up drifting off to talk to other people as one does at parties, and I chatted with other people too, but because this was the party for the branch of the company he works in, I didn’t know many people. So at a certain point I had talked to everyone I knew, and I was just awkwardly lurking, and he was chatting with a group of his co-workers for a while, and I didn’t know what to do with myself so I left before trying to talk to him again. And now I feel dumb because I suspect he’s at least somewhat attracted to me also (he smiled at me and touched my shoulder while he was walking past at one point! ugh I don’t know) but I just gave up the only shot I might get for months at actually getting to know him better. So I’m mad at myself for that. There’s another work party (this time for my branch) he might be at tonight, but the chances of him being there are slim. Anyway, thanks for providing a space for me to vent about my stupid non-problem, y’all. Sigh. I’m too old for this nonsense.
In better news, I will be sending out the e-mail with final details on the DC Toast’s Book Club’s first meeting later today/tomorrow morning! If you e-mailed me before but haven’t yet responded to vote on the book/meeting place and date, now is the time. Excited to meet you lovely people in the new year!
Ugh disappointing! is there no way to engineer an opportunity to run into him again? can you send a casual email that is like “hey I’m sorry we didn’t get more opportunity to chat, maybe we can grab a coffee sometime” (or something similarly transparent but with all-important plausible deniability)?
Thanks for the suggestions – I’ve been debating with myself all afternoon, but I can’t think of a way of e-mailing him that wouldn’t be just a little weird. Argh. I am going to try to subtly engineer a chance to see him again, though. Still hoping he’s at the party tonight!
That sucks. Human interactions are the worst.
Is there anyway I could still get in on the DC Toast Book Club deal? If so, how? Help! This sounds too good to be true.
E-mail me, fellow Toastie! [email protected]. I’ll forward you the e-mail with meeting details.
Hooray! I shall also be emailing. 🙂
Aww, it’s not a non-problem! I did something similar where I was talking to a guy for most of a party at a friend’s and being super self-conscious, like, literally saying “Oh, I’m sorry I’m talking so much, haha” and then afterward I realized: if he didn’t want to talk to me… he could have gone and talked to someone else… or gotten up… or done anything… *facepalm* So regardless of potentia-romance, he clearly didn’t think I was dumb or ridiculous. Social anxiety ugh.
Oh girl (boy? fellow human), I feel you. The constant debate of, “Is he into me or is he just being polite and possibly trying to find a nice way to get out of the conversation?” Trying to be more confident and get better at picking up those signs, but a lot of the time it feels like trying to speak a language everyone else but me has already learned. Sigh.
Girl 🙂
And yes, that’s how I feel about social cues! I mean, I know I do better than some people but still! My level of comprehension often feels like it’s on the level of order a whiskey/find a bathroom, not like, actual COMMUNICATION.
I sympathize sooo much. I’m in a similar situation except I know less about his personality than you do about your crush.
Aaaah’ I have a stupid crush, stupid for several reasons, but definitively b/c I googled him and found he’s of an incompatible orientation. So, best of luck, crushes are the worst. Also the best, tho.
Giant ice cube tray! Giant ice cubes don’t melt as quickly and the tray is small and portable for those of you who have to lug your gifts halfway across the country.
Also, they don’t water down your booze as quickly!
But giant ice cubes are harder to chew on!
I don’t understand why we’re not Toasters.
because Cylons
Ska haters
Ugh I can’t post what I am getting my mom because I know she sometimes peruses the Toast (hey mom!!!) But I CAN post about what I got for other family: tons of cute baby clothes for my tiny niece, an out-of-print book on Swedish interior decorating my sister (niece’s mama!) will flip out about, the book Perfecting Sound Forever for her music-geek hubby, nice work gloves and a SPORTULA for my dad: https://www.sportula.com/
oh my god can someone please make sure sportula sponsors the next issue of DAD magazine
Right? It is like the Ultimate Dad Gift.
God damn it, I look at the Sportulas every time I’m at the mall and think, “I should get one of those for my dad.” And now I’m going over there tomorrow and don’t have anything and now I have to go by the mall on the way to pick one up. Damn it.
Thanks for all the music recs last week, folks. Y’all have excellent taste.
My boss is out, so today is a completely wash.
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS CAROLS? GO.
“Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey” features the best seasonal use of braying
whoa, not familiar. I am going to have to look this one up.
Carol of the Bells! Always.
Technically it’s an Advent song, but I have always loved “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel.”
ME TOO!
Same here!
yes! this will always be my favorite.
The version of White Christmas that plays in Home Alone. No other versions.
All the morose, Medieval-sounding ones: The Coventry Carol, “What Child is This?”, and “Oh Come oh come Emmanuel”.
You should look into “Coventry Carol,” the most depressing Christmas carol ever!
I … agree? (It is so awesome it is the first one I mentioned!)
Oh, oops! I missed it because it wasn’t in quotation marks. Reading comprehension fail 🙁
I love that song! My parents had the Robert Shaw chorale singing it on vinyl, it’s sooo great. And pretty depressing!
Add “Lo How a Rose e’er Blooming” to that list and it will be perfect.
love that one. i really like the sufjan stevens version.
YES. Especially if it’s accompanied by, like, a lute and recorder.
THIS CHRISTMASTIDE, which (I think) was specifically written for Jessye Norman, who generally is just killin’ it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Xi20mA31bE
I acknowledge that it is a problematic song in many ways but I really can’t help but love “Do The Know It’s Christmas”. Bombastic, over-the-top, SO 80’s, just a skosh too much keyboard/synth whimsy…
As for traditional songs, I love a good version of “Oh Holy Night” – Ma Jinx’s all time favorite is Mahlia Jackson’s rendition.
I actually like a lot of Christmas carols (is this an embarrassing thing to admit? should I feel embarrassed?) but “A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector” is pretty much the perfect album.
“All I Want” by The Weepies. Not exactly traditional, but lovely all the same and makes me think of an idyllic stroll down a small-town, snow-covered Main St looking at window decorations.
Oh and MARIAH CAREY too of course.
I FUCKING LOVE CHRISTMAS MUSIC. Like, 90% of it. My all-time favorite is The Twelve Days of Phantom, which is the Twelve Days of Christmas as tailored to the cast of Phantom of the Opera. IT’S LUDICROUS.
For traditional carols, I love The Holly and the Ivy because it’s fun to sing.
Also “The Atheist Christmas Carol” by Vienna Teng!!!!!!!!! If I ran the world this would be a new classic on par with “All I Want For Christmas is You”.
Anything sung by Nat King Cole or Ella Fitzgerald will completely trump any other version of the same song.
Also Bob and Doug Mackenzie’s “Twelve Days of Christmas” AGREE OR YOU HATE CANADA.
Is that the one where all the verses and with “…and a beer”? Because that is awesome.
That’s the one!
Interpreting Carols VERY LOOSELY – I like all the weird, or cynical christmas songs
A Spaceman Came Travelling – spacey alien interpretation of the nativity. Best thing about it – towards the end it goes on about the starchild who’ll arrive in 2000 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmZg7tvGN9o
All together now: NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH
Fairytale in New York is a classic and you can never stop me singing it even in high summer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9jbdgZidu8
“It was christmas eve, babe/ in the drunk tank…”
Won’t You Stop The Cavalry
Plus points for the brass band and the anti-war message http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hVEdE0O5tA
“Mary gladly waits at home/ in the nuclear fallout zone… wish I was at home for christmas”
The Holly and The Ivy! I used to play it on the piano, and it’s so rarely sung by anybody it hasn’t been done to death.
In The Bleak Midwinter because it has a wonderful mournful sound. I’m also fond of The Angel Gabriel because it brings back memories of me and my church buddies singing “most highly flavoured gravy, a-ah-ah-ah-ah bisto!” during Christingle.
more a New Years song and the only way to deal with New Years, which is Auld Lang Syne by Andrew Bird because more Andrew Bird for all!
also I’m partial to Elvis singing Blue Christmas, and the Polyphonic Spree’s cover of Happy Xmas (War is Over)
Any other love for Sufjan out there? I love his Christmas music, especially ‘Star of Wonder’. And Christmas Unicorn is ludicrous and fun. Oh, and Christmas in the Room makes me want to tear up a bit. More traditionally though: It Came Upon the Midnight Clear.
I have spent most of this month just singing the phrase “I am a Christmas unicorn” to myself over and over. All his Christmas stuff is great, and a nice wide spectrum from wacky to lovely. I particularly love Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. Just gorgeous.
I grew up with Liona Boyd’s A Guitar for Christmas in the stereo every December, and her Spanish Carol is my best Christmas jam.
Also discovered the Huron Carol on that album. It’s Canadian!
Anything with a really long “Gloria” chorus, because they are the most fun to sing (see: “Angels We Have Heard On High,” “Ding-Dong, Merrily On High”).
Also, “O Holy Night” is the best to sing operatically in the shower.
Anything sung by Mario Lanza on Christmas with Mario Lanza – even songs I hate when done by others, i.e. “Deck the Halls”, but especially “It Came Upon The Midnight Clear” and “We Three Kings” and “O Holy Night”. Mario Lanza is basically all I listen to during the month of December (and other months of the year, when I need a real pick-me-up).
I have a favorite!!! ‘A ceremony of carols’ by Benjamin Britten is one of my, we sang it in my high school choir. Also does ‘river’ by Joni Mitchell count?
“River” destroys everything it touches (in the best way), therefore it counts.
I think this is the best gift I’m giving:
http://www.modcloth.com/shop/tabletop/one-small-s…
It’s for my brother’s thoroughly awesome girlfriend. She’s also getting Greg Sestero’s The Disaster Artist. (If you can’t tell, she’s highly appreciated by my husband and me.)
that is AMAZING and I don’t even know your other gifts but agree that it is the best.
omg I want it so bad but I am not allowed to get anything that awesome and breakable because I would be too disappointed if it broke, and then it would be a reminder of how grossly materialistic I am to be sad about broken shot glasses, etc etc. best to just avoid that pity party.
I mean, maybe if you’re a 5-year-old boy, what the 5-year-old nephew is getting is more exciting than shot glasses with the first animals in space on them (a talking Jake from Jake & the Never Land Pirates and a 5 Minute Pixar Bedtime Stories book). And my husband’s getting Avatar: The Last Airbender shot glasses and GTA V because he deserves them.
I get SO WORRIED my gifts are going to break during shipping, and this year is the worst for that, what with multiple shot glass collections. (2013, The Year of the Shot Glass.) It’s going to be a Christmas miracle if they all show up unscathed.
Bookmarking those for whoever I have to buy a birthday gift for next.
I have failed so far to make the most important decision of December: What shall be my 2014 wall calendar? Last year it was the Hark A Vagrant one.
What are you all getting?
Hey, I have that 2013 Hark! A Vagrant wall calendar too! I’m leaning towards an Edward Gorey calendar for 2014.
i always go and look in the sales and get a totally random one. This year I’ve had the national geographic wonders of the world one, last year it was space, and so on. I almost got a tattoo art one for 2014 but I had a look and it was all almost-naked women who happen to have tattoos rather than any focus on the art itself, so I grumped and didn’t.
CULT ATTACK, featuring posters from ridiculous pulpy Z movies from the 50’s and 60’s.
I couldn’t resist the Warwick Rowing Team calendar.
[Content Note: BUTTS]
I had Hark! a Vagrant in 2013, along with a WWF elephants one AND a creepy Victoriana one from my partner’s parents. ALL GIFTS, ALL GLORIOUS.
So to answer your question: I don’t know yet, but it’s going to be hard to top 2013. Calendar-wise, anyway.
I had a gorgeous Rumi one for 2012. This year was antique Vespas (which was great because ours hasn’t worked right for months). BF always likes Space Stuff, but I prefer something funkier. UGH I DON’T KNOW. I would really like a Tom Hiddleston one, but I think that’d get vetoed.
So sad there’s not a HAV calendar for this year – I had one at work and the other at home, it was grand. For 2014 I got this astrology calendar not because I care terribly much about astrology but because the artwork, by Julie Dillon, is GORGEOUS. I MEAN REALLY.
I had an Anne Taintor one I impulse-bought at Whole Foods last January. It is amusing on a monthly basis, which is what a calendar should be.
My sister in law made a calendar of my adorable niece and nephew, so that’s what I’m using!
I would like some gift ideas too, please! Am thinking of getting something for the people in my department at work. I’m fairly new at this job and don’t know them especially well. No one exchanged gifts at my previous job, but this seems like a fairly gifty place, and I think it would be nice?
It’s a few women around my age, plus one slightly older guy. I’m totally drawing a blank. Candles? Booze? Help?
Booze is always so tricky because you never know who’s a recovering alcoholic. It’s like the people who give me (celiac, can’t have sugar) baked goods or candy. UGH. Consumables are really only good for people you know super well, IMO.
Is there any way you can buy everyone a nice card (maybe a locally-made fancy one) and write a note about how you appreciate how everyone has made you feel welcome and you look forward to working with them in the coming year? Then next year, after you’ve had time to suss out the territory, get people appropriate things?
I’m a fan of cute or novelty mugs. Most people drink hot beverages of some kind or another, so it’s a fairly safe bet.
I like these ideas! Definitely some solid options. And @CleverManka, the only reason I’d feel comfortable getting booze is because I’ve attended some pretty enthusiastic happy hours with them. 🙂 (What kind of booze is another story, because people can be picky about that.)
Coffee or tea. Not speacialty. Just straight up excellent quality coffee or tea, because everyone drinks either/or. And they will admire/appreciate your SPECTACULAR taste in excellent quality of same.
Conversely, a big NO to candles. Explain to me, someone, anyone, WHY candles are considered appropriate gifts? They are so … pointless. (Unless they are emergency/rescuey type candles in which case COOL!) Otherwise, what is the point of such things? And why does anyone imagine I would need such things? Are you telling me my home stinks? It may well, but how rude of you to notice much less comment thereupon!
:singing:
Oh hoowwwww am I supposed to giivee any fucks at work todaaayyyyyyyyyy
Also I fell off the Middlemarch horse and I have no idea how to get myself back onto it. It suddenly seems very daunting.
I got lost somewhere in book two, used an audiobook version to help get me through a couple of chapters, now I’m back on the horse!
https://librivox.org/middlemarch-by-george-eliot/
i SO HIGHLY endorse the audiobook version. The voices are amazing! It makes it so much more like a movie. A really good movie. And you can listen in the car or at work or whatever.
I love whoever here recommended the one read by Juliet Stevenson. It’s wonderful.
I think it was me!! Maybe someone else, too, but definitely me. It’s so good. I can’t praise it highly enough.
you’re singing my song right now w/15 min to our department holiday party
also, oh my god, i’m in like, the middle of book 5 and i cannot. finish. middlemarch. I CAN’T. maybe i’ll watch the rufus sewell miniseries first and then get all jazzed up about finishing the book.
I got a bunch of crazy little things from this place – http://www.catchingfireflies.com/ – for the BBs; we don’t celebrate Christmas but I won a gift card so it was free (which is my favorite price for anything in these lean times).
Obviously Toast merch is the best xmas present anyone could ask for!
There’s one of these stores in my town and “crazy little things” is the perfect way to describe pretty much the entire store.
I’ve been reading Hilary Mantel’s book about the French Revolution (A Place of Greater Safety), and it’s excellent. It also has the only on-page sex scene occurring between Robespierre, who was still wearing wigs even though they were going out of fashion, and his ladyfriend. And now I’m picturing 18th-century wig-wearing guys having to remove their wigs while getting undressed and wondering how their ladyfriends refrained from giggling, because MOOD KILLER.
But if they keep their wigs on it adds some excitement, right? Like, ooh is it slipping, is it going to fall off now, where’s it going to land…
Better than counting ceiling tiles or mentally composing a grocery list, I guess…
On the other hand, if you’re running your fingers through your partner’s hair and it suddenly comes off in your hand, it’s hard to make a giggle-snort sound like a moan of passion.
I fought so hard to finish A Place of Greater Safety! but my (embarrassing) lack of knowledge about the French Revolution made the reading experience sort of…through a glass, darkly. The writing was so much fun! The ending was amazing! But I felt like a lot was going over my head.
I can’t tell if she made Wolf Hall more accessible to the uninitiated (also: shorter), or if readers who weren’t coming in with a lot of background on the Tudors felt the same way about that.
It’s taking me forever to get through, because while I thought I knew a fair bit about the Revolution, it turns out that I know less than I thought I did. So I have to keep putting it down and hunting up documentaries and going on websites. She’s doing a great job with the characters, and with one irritating exception, everything I’m finding is backing up her portrayal of them. But you’re not going to pick up much of the actual events from this book, so you really do need another source for the timeline.
The irritating exception is Robespierre’s ladyfriend, Eleanore Duplay; she’s portraying Eleanore as trapping him in a relationship he doesn’t want and doesn’t know how to extricate himself from. But my impression from other sources is that he went out of his way to spend time with her. She also strikes me as unconventional enough that she would likely have looked at the state of married women and decided she preferred her autonomy. I’m thinking if either of them was lukewarm about marriage, it was her, not him. So it’s irritating, because Mantel is portraying her as a sexually-manipulative harpy, and I’m increasingly of the opinion that she was actually pretty awesome.
Oooh, I had a friend so obsessed with that book that she ended up with an MA in French Revolutionary History. Apparently Robespierre is irresistible. For YOU I recommend the <href=”http://dylanmeconis.myshopify.com/products/revolutionary-hotties-print”> Dylan Meconis Revolutionary Hotties Print.
See?
OMG, that is awesome!
Dylan Meconis is a treasure.
I’m really struggling with it. I can’t keep track of the characters AT ALL. At least with Wolf Hall, so long as you know who Cromwell is, that’s half the battle. There’s like four or five main characters in A Place of Greater Safety. I might take it home to be my holiday read and put some time into it.
Oh man, I discovered A Place of Greater Safety at my high school library during the height of my French Revolution phase (everyone goes through one of those, right?), and loved it SO MUCH. I actually finally bought a copy of my own a few weeks ago and intend to read it again for the first time in about ten years, PLEASE HOLD UP BOOK THAT I HAVE LIONISED IN MY HEAD.
Hi Toasties, I could use some advice, if you have some to spare. To prevent me from grinding my teeth in my sleep, I recently got a night guard, and I HATE IT. I realize that I am very privileged to be in a position to get this thing, and I acknowledge that. However, I have had it for a bit and I can’t get over how much I hate it; I hate how it makes me look, I hate how it makes my mouth feel, I hate thinking that it’s plastic in my body for so long – I have (embarrassingly) cried myself to sleep over this thing on more than one occasion. This is my first experience with anything dental beyond a pretty basic cavity or two. I struggle the most with how I perceive this to affect my relationship with my husband. I know he does not at all care what I look like, but I do – I’ve struggled with my appearance for years and was finally in a good place with it. I am really having a hard time with how the use of this thing impacts our bed routine: do I put it in when I come to bed, and take it out if we want to sex it? Do I wait and see and put it in after? And for four years I have fallen asleep talking to this man, and I can’t now, because this dumb thing makes it so I can’t really talk. It feels too big in my mouth, and cracks my lips, even though the dentist said it was perfect. Do you have one? Have you struggled with it? Thanks for reading friends.
I was given one and I must admit I wore it about twice and then decided grinding my teeth was better. Hideous thing, hated it, could never get on with it.
I have been more successful with massaging my jawline (tips of fingers on hairline, thumbs on jawline, start under ears and work down in circular motions) to loosen off the crazytense muscles on a regular basis, and also addressing the causes of the stress that was making me grind my teeth. I still do it when I’m stressed, but I’d always rather treat the cause than make myseld miserable with a hideous mouthguard.
I have one of those! My tip is to put it in it’s case on or in your nightstand. That way you can get into bed and do your normal bed talk/sex stuff and only put it in right as you’re going to sleep. Also I found I can talk to my boyfriend with it in it just makes me sound really silly : ). Also I find its more comfortable if you don’t try and close your lips all the way, just close your teeth and let your lips fall where they may.
Oh! I guess I should have mentioned that the dentist said it had to be soaked in warm water for a minute before you put it in, so I have to get out of bed to do that.
Thank you guys, please keep the stories up 🙂
I mean, if you can get it on without doing that, then you can just do that. I have one and those same instructions were given, but I was told it was just to get it to loosen a bit to make it easier to put on. The same effect can be attained by just having a glass of warm water by your bedside in which the nightguard soaks until you are ready for it. It shrinks once it’s been in your mouth a bit.
Did you get used to it eventually? Do you worry about the plastics? So many questions!
I have the kind you have to run under hot water to make it more flexible. Honestly, I don’t mind my mouth guard at all. It keeps me from grinding my teeth down to nubs, so I deal with the minor inconvenience. I lightly scrub it with a spare toothbrush every morning and store it in a little tupperware container filled with water. Now I feel weird *not* wearing it.
Huh, thank you so much for your response, I really appreciate it. Can I ask you how long it took you to get used to wearing it? I feel like it’s bulk (I guess I am small mouthed?) and the plastic taste – aside from all the psychological stuff I managed to bring to it – are going to make it a no go to me. The times I have tried wearing it I’ve taken it out in my sleep almost immediately. I used to pull a poorly advised nose stud out in my sleep too, because my body hated it so much.
I got used to it fairly quickly and the plastic taste didn’t last. I’ve been wearing it a few years so I can’t say how long it took. Mine is a bit bulky too and makes me mouth-breathe when I wear it, but my dentist didn’t give me a choice! He was pretty much just like, you need a mouth guard, I’m giving you a mouth guard. That’ll be $300 after insurance. I know there are ones that are much smaller and I would prefer that kind, but until I’m due for a replacement, I’m using the one I have.
Good luck, whatever you decide.
Ooh mine doesn’t need warm water. For this one I’d guess when you get up to pee after sex you can rinse it? And just make sure to have sex every night, for the sake of your teeth you know.
Omg this is a little ailly but maybe you can keep a little electric tea kettle on your nightsand and keep it full of water and use that to warm the water up. Plus, then you can have teabags in your night table so you can also use it for breakfast tea in bed.
I like the way you think
I was reading this thread. (I have retainers, they can put a damper on the same things) and I read this out loud to my boyfriend because I love tea, and peeing after sex! I said “THIS IS THE BEST!” And then read it aloud. He is a very patient human for listening to me talk about The Toast as much as I do.
Ive used a dentist-made night guard for about two years now (after I sleep chewed through several of the store-bought kind). At first, I hated it because it felt so big and uncomfortable in my mouth (TWSS!) and it made me drool so much. I actually didnt wear it for like the first three months I had it b/c it felt so.. wrong. But then I had an appointment with a different dentist in the office, and I told her that the night guard felt super uncomfortable, and she spent a bunch of time grinding it down so that I could finally close my lips around it and hold my teeth/jaw in a natural position, and Ive worn it every night since then. Im now to the point where I cant sleep without it. I do put it in immediately before when Im going to actually try to go to sleep (after talky or sexy times), though.
I take the night guard with me every time I go to the dentist so that they can check the fit, make any adjustments that may be necessary because of new wear patterns Ive worn into it, and then run it through their ultrasonic cleaner.
Like 10 or 12 years ago, I had a night guard, and that dentist told me it needed to go in hot water before it went in my mouth. And I proceeded to never wear that guard, and then I spent ten years grinding my teeth to the point where they moved so much that I could no longer get that night guard into my mouth. When I got this more recent mouth guard, I asked them about doing the hot water, and the dentist said that was just to loosen it up to get it into your mouth more easily, and that you shouldnt really NEED to loosen it up before being able to get it on to your teeth.
So, tl:dr – Maybe let the dentist know that the night guard is super uncomfortable and needs to be refit?
I gave up on my mouthguard too. It was gross and uncomfortable and I would wake up with more mouth pain than I had before. Just because the dentist says it’s ‘perfect’ doesn’t mean it works for you.
My boyfriend has one. He usually washes it when he brushes his teeth and sets it on the bedside table, and puts it in after sex/talking/whatever – RIGHT before we’re about to fall asleep. FWIW, I have never been more than vaguely curious or grossed out by it.
I unfortunately can’t comment on anything else, having never had one. That sucks, I’m really sorry. :/
If you have an extra $5.50, I would highly highly recommend CO Bigelow Rose Balm for your cracked lips: http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/product/index.jsp… . It’s much thicker than lip balm, but smoother than vaseline and has a nice rose scent. (They also have different “flavors” that have slightly different scents, those are also nice.) I compulsively pick at and bite my lips, and putting this on at night is the only thing that has saved me from my lips constantly just being a bloody mess. One tin lasts me several months.
I have had one for years and wear it every night, ever since it became clear that my “symbolic” dreams about clenching my teeth and cracking off tooth chips that I could feel in my mouth turned out to be actually true… So I always wear it; it’s not optional.
Recently I had to get a new one that turned out to be much bulkier than the old one (which lasted almost 10 years though it had to be repaired a few times), and it took some getting used to. I don’t think it really matters how you look because you’re going to be asleep, right? But, yes, they do take acclimation. This new one made me gag a little at first, but I got used to it. As for cleaning and storage, it sounds like yours is soft, but mine is hard, so I use denture-fizz tablets and leave it in the solution all day.
I feel like it matters to me a bit how I look when I’m asleep. Or rather, I feel like I look so unlike myself that I can’t fall asleep, because I’m so used to how I look normally, and the bulk mouthguard really changes that. Plus the drooling, I really can’t get used to that.
Yeah, the drooling has definitely increased since I got my new guard. I feel like a slob.
My husband has one. He obviously finds it awkward because he comes up to me when wearing it and makes weird faces and calls himself a narwhal (because of the weird pointy-sticky-out bit).
Also he “lost” it for like a year until last night, coincidentally. I’m not even sure he made it through the night with it. So you’re not alone. For what it’s worth, I’m not grossed out by it or anything. If it’s making you that miserable, though, I doubt it’s helping with the stress that makes you grind your teeth in the first place! I like Es_Petal’s massage suggestion. Maybe try some yoga or meditation or something similarly relaxing before bed?
Thanks for this question, and thanks everyone for your thoughts. I’m probably going to have to get one because my dentist’s alternate suggestion for cutting down on teeth-grinding of “be less stressed” is somehow not working.
He also said I could talk to myself about not grinding my teeth? I am kind of trying that, but it’s hard to remember to talk to yourself.
I don’t know, I’d try everyone’s tips on holistic non-grinding before you slap down any money for this thing. I think mine might have been an expensive mistake.
I have to get one too. My FRONT teeth are loose now because of grinding the back teeth and things shifting around. It is horrifying. I hope it turns out ok for me because I am so scared that my teeth will fall out. 🙁
I have one of the cheap ones from rite aid and it is the only thing that keeps me from waking up with a tension headache and an achey jaw, so I usually wear it. I do feel self conscious about wearing it when sleeping with my boyfriend, so I often “forget” or try to wait to put it on until riiight before actual sleep, but still it is harder to give night kisses and talk in the middle of the night.. but I can take it out and put it back in if we’re about to chat for a bit. he says he doesn’t care about it at all, and it really is worth it to me as far as the awkward feeling and taste, because getting a good nights sleep is a gamble without it. so I’m trying to get over my vanity and wear it more consistently. I’d love to get to the point where I don’t need it though.
YEA!! I’m almost free! My students just took their last exam; I just have to wait for their grades to come back!
In other news, my cat sliced my face open last night. He was sleeping in our bed and something startled him, so in his haste to escape he ran over my face, puncturing me in 7 different places and giving me a 3 inch scratch. He missed both eyes by less than an inch. One of the wounds bled so heavily that by the time I got to my bathroom the blood had dripped all the way from my eyebrow down my chin to my t-shirt.
I am sorely tempted to have him declawed now, even though I’m against declawing in general and he’s 5 years old. He will not allow us to clip his nails, no matter what strategy we try. This incident really makes me worry about what he might do to the baby once she gets here. He’s really not an aggressive cat, but he’s very anxious and tends to scratch EVERYTHING when something startles him. 🙁
They have those nail caps for cats that vets will put on. My vet’s office does this to their “Monster” cat.
See: http://www.petsmart.com/product/index.jsp?product…
Don’t declaw him!
We’ve used the caps on our other cat, who will do no worse than make sad faces at us if we do something she doesn’t like, but those only last about a month, and are more difficult and time consuming to put on than merely clipping his nails; we would have to have him sedated to get them applied, and doing that once a month would not work out.
Oh, bummer.
I wouldn’t, but then I am very anti-declawing. I would make sure he can’t get in and sleep in bed with the baby though – gauze or mesh or something over whatever she will be sleeping in? Have you got anything in place for the anxiety like a feliway diffuser? They can work wonders with anxiety-related misbehaviours.
Is he indoor-only? If so, does he have a scratching post or one of those cardboard things cats can shred? Super-sharp claws are usually a result of not dulling them, which cats in the outdoors take care of generally by scratchin’ up on trees and just being outside. Indoor kittehs need a little help in that area. Also, vets can clip nails, and while the trip there is stressful they are much better at dealing with a freaked-out cat than nonvets.
Cosign this tip. I’d say it’s at least worth trying having the experts trim his nails before you go the extreme route.
Also, the cat we had when I was a kid was declawed in his front paws, but trust me he still found plenty of ways to fuck our shit up.
He’s indoor, and he does have scratching posts. We’ve asked the vet to clip his nails for us before, but the last time we did he cut her up and got a “red mark” on his chart (and his nails still weren’t clipped), so we would likely have to get him sedated if we wanted to do that again. And then do it… once a month? 🙁
Oh gosh, that’s really hard. My parents have the vets do one of their cats, I think. Try the Feliway diffuser for some of the other stress things though, I’ve heard that’s really useful.
I don’t want to sound pro-declawing, but… it’s not the worst option. I don’t know that it’s worse than having your cat sedated once a month to trim his claws, or spending the next four years worried that he’ll scratch your baby/toddler; I definitely don’t think it’s worse than rehoming your cat.
Yeah, I am anti-declawing, but my friend who is a vet says that if you have an indoor cat and are pro-active with pain management and the only alternative is re-homing, it\’s not the worst thing in the universe.
I would argue that re-homing is not the worst thing here (or rather, is the less worse thing), as long as that’s done responsibly and carefully, too. Having seen cats wake up after declawing surgery… I’m not sure there’s anything strong enough to really treat that pain adequately.
Let’s say hypothetically you’re in a relationship with someone with depression and he or she keeps putting off seeing a professional about it due to time constraints, and your relationship is starting to feel increasingly distant and you can physically see your partner pulling away from you, from work, from her family, from her friends, from activities she used to enjoy, from life, and all you can do is be there and be supportive and you feel like life is one Jenga piece away from collapsing… what do you do? What do you do? What do you do.
Listen to Drive-By Truckers on repeat all day y/y?
awww Emby I wish I had concrete advice but from Hairpin comments all the way over here I feel I’ve gotten to know you and your relationship, and I am sorry it is this tough on you. We’re always here 4 u. Remember that you are not responsible for another person’s happiness. Remember that feeling you need to get out is enough of a reason to get out. *hugs*
Thank you for the note, I really appreciate it. It’s nice to feel warmth from a community like this one 🙂
Yeah, there’s no cut and dry answer… girl has to get there on her own, unfortunately. The best thing you can do is take care of you, use some energy to help her (as long as it’s not depleting you too much), and see how it goes.
One of the wisest people I ever knew told me, at a time where I was questioning my relationship, “you will know that you’re ready to move on when you’re really ready to move on” and it seems soooo overly simplistic, but it was so true. If you’re working on your personal health and happiness while she is going through this, then your life won’t collapse if that jenga piece is pulled out, although I’m sure it feels that way. This is so hard, I wish we could do more to help. (the holidays always worsen mental health stuff too…)
Well, in my case, I broke up with him because he was making my life miserable. He had longstanding issues from OCD and had been given a prescription for it but refused to take it until after he’d gone on a European trip he’d wanted to go on for a long time (that was to take place 3 months in the future) and I just didn’t think I could hang on that long being prey to his anxieties. I have my own things to deal with (depression and anxiety), and it didn’t make any sense for me to be even more sad and anxious waiting around for him to try this thing that would probably help him, just because he didn’t like the idea of trying the meds until after his vacation.
This is not a Rx for you, of course; mine was a short relationship, by the way, that I was already more invested in than I wanted to be, so it’s sort of different. But just to give you my perspective. I’m very sorry things are hard like this for you. Have you talked to her about the effect this is having on you, so that she might maybe prioritize getting some help? I am sure you must have, but I had to check.
Is it possible for you to see a therapist about what the two of you are going through? It would be a space, removed from your partner, that would allow you to process the affect their mental illness is having on you and might recharge your batteries, so to speak, so that you can offer them a more prepared self to support them if that’s what you want to do.
And to reiterate what the other commenters have said, if you need to get away, that’s completely all right too. As I’ve read on Captain Awkward a few times, “You are too sad for me” is a legitimate reason to break up. I’m sorry this is causing you pain. It sounds like a really difficult situation.
Hi Emby. My boyfriend struggles with depression, and I empathize. He kept putting off seeing a professional for ages because he didn’t at all click with the first two he had tried once he moved here, and he was so daunted by the prospect of finding someone that worked for him that he kind of gave up on it and didn’t see anyone for a long time. I could see his depression getting worse and starting to affect us more and more, so I asked him if I could make calls for him to help find someone that would be a good fit for him. (Some Toasties actually suggested this, for which I am very thankful!) I think it lifted a big weight off his back–it took a lot of calling around on my part, and I think wading through that bureaucracy while in a fog of depression had just been too daunting for him.
It sucks so much to watch someone you love go through that and feel like you can’t do anything to make them feel better. I think the best thing you can do is to help them get to someone whose job it is to help with depression–it’s too big of a thing for you to take on by yourself.
Thank you, that is good advice! I will do that, ask if I can help her find someone.
By the by, does anybody know whether therapists will make time outside of 9-5? My partner’s biggest hang-up so far is that she doesn’t have the time to go regularly during 9-5 hours.
Yes, absolutely, lots of them do!
That’s when mine does most of her work, outside the 9-5.
Some do, some don’t–you just have to call around to see if they have any openings.
Mine does 7-3, which I think is bonkers, but apparently some people don’t mind being therapied at 7 AM, so there you go.
Carolyn Hax is my advice-giving guru and she always recommends the NAMI Helpline to people in your shoes. It may be a place to start or at least a place to find a sympathetic ear.
I’ve been holed up in my office making some progress on a project that’s work-related but feels more like something I’m doing for fun. Because today is the perfect day for it. And then at three I’m going to my department’s holiday party, where there will be wine and nibbly things.
I’m trying not to think about how many relatives I still have to buy presents for. I’m considering giving my hard-to-shop-for uncle one of these: http://corkcicle.com/ and my even-harder-to-shop-for cousin one of these: http://www.cubebot.com/ (The easy-to-shop-for cousin is getting Amy Stewart’s The Drunken Botanist, which he specifically requested.)
I just picked up Pretty In Ink, a history/art book of female cartoonists from 1896 to now. It’s kind of amazing, and gorgeous, so if you like art history or comics, totally pick it up:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/160699669X/ref=o…
Guys its my birrrday and I’m excited about that, but also have a big old sinus infection and I’m feeling slightly sixteen candles cause my live-in boyfriend didn’t get me a gift.
‘sokay though! we are trying to save money and I explicitly told him not to go crazy on it.. but I sort of expected a little effort/forethought/fanfare! I never think i’m going to care about this until its 11:59 on December 19th and suddenly I act like I’m the goddamn queen of the universe.
Happy birthday and OH MY GOD I have a sinus infection right now, too. So much sympathy.
Sending get healthy thoughts! My nose is basically a snot cauldron.
You poor thing. Mine’s just barely dripping but oh my GOD the pressure. I feel like a small animal is trying to crawl its way out of my left ear canal.
Wishing you the best, too. Are you on antibiotics? I started my Z-Pac yesterday and then LOST THE STUPID BOTTLE. *headdesk*
meeee tooooo, the second one in 3 weeks. snot cauldron is the best description. wish I could breathe out of my left nostril.
This sort of misery does NOT love company. So sorry you’re suffering.
Happy birthday! One year, I told my then-boyfriend, now-husband I didn’t want anything special for my birthday, and he got me a Twix. And I realized, okay, yeah I DID want something special.
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I’m sorry you’re full of snot 🙁
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
thanks for the birthday and sinus love, toastrons
I was pretty disappointed in my gift finding skills this year, but I am getting my boyfriend a mail order sock subscription from Sock Fancy. What can I say, the man loves socks.
I got my nieces google play gift cards since I know they are getting new cellphones for Christmas and that is what they will really want. I finally accepted that they don’t like reading.
NGL, socks are awesome and Sock Dreams is THE BEST. Good call!
…..I have a mighty need for that sock subscription. What a great gift!
ugh SUCH a tough thing to accept. My sister in law straight up told me “don’t buy her more books, she hasn’t read the ones you got her last year”
RUUUDE
Oh man that adopt an olive tree looks so great! I shall be asking for it for my birthday, and giving it to others for theirs.
Has anyone escaped the administrative assistant life? Is there a way I can transition out of my current department/employer and convince someone I have skills that are not calmly putting together itineraries and inputting things? I just don’t know how much longer I can cheerfully do this without everyone finding out exactly how much I hate it.
In gift giving I have been woefully unthoughtful. My best gift is probably a caffeine molecule mug I bought for a friend, but I still need to fill it with candy so she’s not getting it until after the new year…. I have been pretty bad at gifts this year.
The only thought I have is to talk with your manager and mention an area of the business that you feel you can improve on/contribute to. In my experience, admin jobs transition well to marketing/events, so maybe you can volunteer to help with the next company event or co-design an ad poster or something like that.
As you do more and more of these “not-admin” tasks, your track record will add up, and in a couple months you talk with your manager again and say something along the lines of “as you know I’ve been helping with side projects while maintaining the admin side of my job. I feel that my contributions to the company have also enriched me professionally, and I’d like to try expanding my role in _____ and eventually transition out of admin.”
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want! Chances are, a good manager will see potential for advancement in his/her employees, and like to see them taking initiative. I’m slowly turning my mostly-admin/marketing role and turning it into full-time conferences, thanks to a few great bosses and really sticking my nose to the grindstone.
Wow that sounds awesome that you’re changing your admin role around! Thanks for the advice 🙂
I jumped into HR from admin roles. For me, my most recent admin role could be viewed as being very HR heavy, and I had some related experience, mostly TA-ing, that I could play like HR too. I applied for basically every job that I saw, spinning my previous admin experience to highlight those strengths. When I got an interview I really focused on that and realllllly big upped my previous experiences, and now I don’t have to answer the phone anymore. Good luck!
Not that there’s anything wrong, of course with answering the phone if you are happy with it! I wasn’t.
this is great advice, thank you! And yes I agree that there’s nothing wrong with certain duties by themselves- just making sure they match with what makes people happy.
I was stuck in admin roles for a looooong time, in publishing. I didn’t think I’d ever get out of it, but I had a connection at a different company, and was able to transition to print production work earlier this year. I’d say, look at your industry, and your work history, and see what might be a good move.
On a broader note, I hate that people suggest admin roles as a way to get your foot in the door. In my (limited) experience, they’re really only good for getting you different administrative assistant roles.
Good luck – it’s so hard to get off that track!
Thanks!! I’m glad you have that experience too and it’s not just me- I thought being an admin would be helpful as a platform to step up from but like you say, unless you’re in a small workplace I feel like there’s usually enough admin things to do that you have to work extra hard to get any other experience.
Sure, you can study nights and weekends to do nearly anything – though I do understand that everyone has different interests and challenges. Is there any part of your job that you actually find interesting?
This is true, but I need to save up more money to do more studying and I’m not sure how much longer I can stay at my current job. Long enough, perhaps; it’s not that bad, but I feel like I get worse and worse as an assistant as the repetition continues.
You are right, I should find the parts that I do find interesting. Most of them are things that are covered by other people but there’s no reason not to aspire (I do find donor research quite interesting; that’s the nosy parker in me I suppose)
Speaking as a software engineer, spending six months doing that seems awesome. I think it’s because you included the word “calmly” which makes it sound tranquil, rather than tedious.
I’m leaving my tedious support position to become a software engineer:)
There are certainly things to recommend it! In my position, at least, there is very little need to do any actual thinking, which was great when I was 4 months post-college but now is more frustrating than anything else. I wasn’t quite accurate about the calm, though. Sometimes it’s calm, sometimes it’s projecting the idea of calm when you feel anything but. Like most things, really!
Hey, so um, today’s the last day to use the 20% off coupon “TOASTIES” in my Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/BloomerShop.
I have no book recommendations (um, I pretty much only have time/energy for short fanfic these days? SHUT UP), but I *do* have a sinus infection that’s so bad I cannot even lean over to put on my own shoes. GOOD TIMES! Thank dogs for (patient) live-in lovers.
I can’t do any work today! I am having real focus problems because my sister is arriving from the Continent with my baby niece, who I will finally get to meet for the first time! …5 more hours to go, how will I ever make it??
My coworker has the bestworst timing ever and always comes into my office at the exact moments I’m not working. So I just rushed through the google doodle crossword and hoped he wouldn’t discover me — and then I went into his office and he was doing it too!
I gotta get faster at my alt-tab-ing.
I’ve been ruminating on my attitude towards selling parties (of the Tupperware party variety). As it stands, I am completely opposed to them. I think they’re exploitative of female friendship and any value they once had has become obsolete. So I never go to them, no matter who the person is or what they’re selling. I don’t make a big deal about it; I just decline the Facebook invite and am prepared to tell anyone who asks (nobody does) that I don’t do them. But I think I’m the only one among my friends who feels this way. So I’m wondering – do you guys have any thoughts on the subject either way?
I have only been invited to one, and it was a trick because I didn’t know it was going to be a jewelry party. I bought the cheapest thing because I felt obligated to, and although they are nice earrings I will never attend another selling party of any kind and I refuse to feel bad about it.
How many of these things are you getting invited to? Just say you have other fabulous plans and let them all buy their Tupperwares or whatever.
Yup, that’s how I typically handle it. I get invited to a party maybe once every couple months. I never feel guilty as such about skipping them, but it can get a little awkward when I’m at a social gathering and literally everyone else in the room (and I surround myself with thoughtful self-identified feminists) is gushing about somebody’s product.
I’m with you on the pyramid selling stuff… THE WORST. I feel like I’ve had my opinions of several friends irreparably destroyed by going to something like this that they’ve thrown (make-up, skin care, tupperware, jewelry, candles, fucking endless…) and I get that the concept is to help women gain financial independence, but the actual practices don’t really deliver on that promise. Definitely exploitative, definitely annoying as fuck, definitely best to not go but keep your opinions to yourself, just make an excuse.
Ahhh, thanks for the validation. What really makes me mad about this stuff is that any guilt or awkwardness I might feel is all part of the goddamn plan, and I dislike being manipulated like that.
And, seriously, the “helping women gain financial independence” line is such a racket. It is 2013; if you want to help your sales reps be financially independent, give them full-time jobs with benefits and let them work from home if necessary.
I went to a pyramid scheme party for skin care stuff with the repeating thought “this is a pyramid scheme, do not get sucked in” and totally won. It was actually pretty fun, once I rejected any internal pressure to feel that I had to buy anything, and it wasn’t a hard sell situation. It’s a little different because I basically got a free facial and foot bath for being there, and I actually have no idea what one would do at a Tupperware party besides buy Tupperware.
I guess look at Tupperware, and ooh and aah over the Tupperware, and learn about how long it can keep food without spoiling, because you have only recently emerged from your ancestral cave and are hearing about it for the first time? I don’t even know if Tupperware parties as such exist anymore; I’m just using it as a generic term.
The issue I would have is two-fold: the internal pressure to buy is crippling – which I know the company is counting on – and the desire to have cool stuff is strong. I admire anyone who can resist both!
Yeah, it was definitely difficult, but the way that literally the cheapest thing in the catalogue was $20 made it easier for me to hold out. I also made a game of noting everything the presenter said that sounded scientifically suspect (there were a lot of things).
These don’t actually exist. Do they? Why aren’t people inviting me to these? Invite me to these!
Excellent, you can go in my place. A friend’s sister is having a wine tasting at my friend’s house a week from tomorrow; you can hang out with all their female relatives. I’m told some of them are racists though.
Generally not a fan but a friend of mine does sex toy ones. I’ve never managed to make it to one yet. Better or worse than jewelry/purses/tupperware? Discuss.
I’ve been to one of these with my roller derby team! The lady was the friend of a friend, very sweet, but I think more used to doing these parties for more … sexually conservative women? Anyway, she was a little unprepared for how boisterous and not-embarrassed we were. Like, she had us come up with euphemisms for “penis” because “I’m sure a lot of you don’t like saying the word” and one of my friends said “leisure-bludgeon.”
I’ve never been to a different kind of selling party, and this one was hilarious and fun, but from a consumer perspective the prices *are* on the high side.
*notes down “leisure-bludgeon”* HILARIOUS
Fun Christmas Carol fact for everyone. Every movie version of A Christmas Carol that includes people singing Good King Wenceslas is WRONG! A Christmas Carol was published a full 10 years before Good King Wenceslas’ lyrics were set to that tune.
Ooh, this will be my Annoying Christmas Pedant fact to bring up to all the people who’ve already heard me expound vigorously and at length about how snowflakes do not have eight points, nor do they have five. I know six points is harder to do, but for fuck’s sake, you’re making decorations for the fragile spaces in which we huddle fearfully against the approaching dark, desperately hoping that the wise women are right and that the sun will return someday, the least you could do is put a little effort into it.
Please come to all my holiday parties.
Ok, toasties, I’ve got some thing running around my brain that I could use some thoughtful feedback on…
1.) I’m thinking of going to med school after I finish my nursing degree (in one year). I am also 36 years old. Am I insane or just masochistic? Any opinions on whether this is a good idea or just some passing hysteria?
2.) I am very disillusioned with health care in the USA. I work at an Ivy league hospital, and it’s obvious that the patients we treat are heavily skewed towards the “haves”, which is interesting since we are located in an area with plenty of “have nots”. I want to practice medicine – whether nursing or doctoring – in a more equitable system. I feel like I want to go to Europe to do this, ideally Denmark? or Switzerland? but feel a bit lost as to how I could do that. Any ideas on how I can find a place to practice medicine that I believe in, socially?
I know these ideas are very broad, but I feel like discussion of any kind will help me hammer out what I’m trying to do here.
THANKS!!!!
I also work in the industry, though not in a clinical capacity. We recently had a doctor leave our practice to start a private practice (rare and getting rarer!) Anyway, she is basically trying out the “country doctor” business model. I don’t know if she doesn’t have student debt or what, but basically, she answers her own phone, offers office hours AND home visits, and accepts barter from people who can’t pay cash and/or don’t have insurance. I will be interested to see if she is successful.
I have nothing of value to add to a discussion about careers in medicine, but wow, good for her! What an admirable person.
The “concierge doctor” is becoming more popular. My favorite GP just went this route, but it conflicts with my shite insurance, so I can’t go.
I have an old friend on FB that was a neo-natal ICU nurse for many years at top hosptials in SF, that moved to Denmark a few of years ago. It took her a couple of years to be eligible to work, then she had to do a whole new battery of testing and training, in a new language and culture. It’s not an easy process.
I’ve heard that, yeah – and nursing isn’t as “esteemed” in Europe as it is in the US, from what I understand (meaning pay and regard is less). I think that’s one of the reasons I’ve been thinking of going to medical school, because besides thinking that I should have done that in the first place because diagnosing and problem solving is more my speed than the nursing process, it is something I would reap more benefits from if I migrated to Europe. Also, I could start doing my further education there to establish me as a European practitioner. BUT THIS IS ALL SUPER PIE IN THE SKY RIGHT NOW. trying to hammer out what I want to do and if it’s all worth it.
(ETA: I have the added bonus of being fluent in French, so… there’s that. I know it will be a whole new thing, learning medical language in French, but I would actually enjoy that, I think. YOU SEE, I’M MASOCHISTIC)
Have you looked into Nurse Practitioner programs? It seems to me you get the diagnosing/problem solving aspect plus the super awesome nursing approach.
Yes, this can be a really great option too. Plus, a lot of the NPs I know also teach in nursing school and do research.
Have you thought about New Zealand or Australia? Wooo, socialist!
So many good questions! I’m a doctor who went to medical school after 5 years in another field, so I thinkimight be able to answer some of your questions.
Being a doctor and being a nurse involve very different skill sets and types of knowledge and day-to-day tasks. I’m a pediatrician and have a number of relatives who are nurses and when we talk about the kind of schooling we had and what our workdays look like, there’s an equal amount of “glad I don’t have to do X every day like you do!”
My first suggestion is to work as a nurse for a bit after finishing your degree. It’s hard to get a great sense of what the job (and there are so many types of nursing jobs!) really feels like when you’re still a student.
My second suggestion is to find a job at a different hospital from where you are as a student. This is for a couple of reasons: 1. You already know that you’re not happy there as a student, and the things you don’t like are intrinsic to the place you’re working, so you probably won’t be happy as an employee. 2. I find it very helpful to see how other places do things. You get a sense of different ways to solve the same problems and can start figuring out what works better for you and your patients. It sounds like you’re working at a private hospital. There must be public hospitals in your area that serve the population you want to work with and I would look for jobs there.
My third suggestion is to find a doctor you like who you trust will be honest with you and pick their brain. Ask to shadow them for an entire day (or days, if they have a practice that changes daily). Medical school is expensive, training is grueling and takes a long time. It’s TOTALLY worth it if you love it. But it’s a big step to take and worth getting as much information ahead of time as you can.
ALSO, ADVICE PLEASE. Mr Blueblazes has been out of work since July. He was let go by a horrible, unethical internet marketing company, and I’m not too sorry about that part. But, awfulness aside, that job was his first non-freelance foray into working as a professional writer/editor after a long, painful string of low-paying, unpleasant retail sales jobs. So, of course, he has been applying to every entry-to-mid-level copywriting job that comes up… but with only a year of official experience, he isn’t having much luck.
I know a lot of us toasties are in the creative fields, and I’m just curious if you have tips for punching up his resume so it says what it needs to say to get the attention of the right people. He isn’t looking to be rich or famous, he just wants a steady office job with regular hours. Right now the layout is fancy, and I’m beginning to wonder if the nice design is actually hurting him in some ways.
Because long-term unemployment insurance is going away (thanks, Republicans), he needs a job ASAP. If he doesn’t get one before his benefits run out, we will be in big financial trouble. 🙁 I really don’t want him to have to go crawling back to the hell that is retail.
I think roumbaba is right about temping, but you are also right in your instinct that his cv shouldn’t be over designed. It’s just way too easy for it to not be to someone or other’s taste, unpredictably. Clean and simple and easy to read — that’s what you want in a cv/resume.
good luck!!
I have been appointed a new employee, which is helpful (though stressful) to me, but screws over one of my colleagues. She knows it is not my fault, but she’s still so upset that she made up an expletive laden Christmas carol to sing (I love her). Basically, managers should ask before they just switch around people’s jobs willy nilly.
In other news: I’m pretty sure one day my yarn stash will slowly flow into the bedroom and suffocate me in my sleep. I hope it spares my husband, but I know that it is spiteful and probably won’t. I have so much yarn, but I still want moooooooooore.
Store the yarn stash against walls, so that it’ll help insulate your house in winter. (This is my excuse.)
I CAN’T BELIEVE ITS FINALLY FRIDAY. This week consisted of my grandma’s funeral, a minor anxiety attack at said funeral, the inability to concentrate and feeling stupid at work – honestly, I thought the weekend would never come.
But! We’re celebrating our 6-month wedding anniversary tonight with a fancy dinner and fancy drinks and fancy clothes, my holiday shopping is DONE, and I have nothing to do this weekend but SLEEP AND SLEEP SOME MORE. ahhhhhhhh
Any good DC-area New Years party recommendations?
Any Portland OR area party recommendations? New (formerly long time friend) boyfriend is coming to visit (!!) and I never do anything cool on New Years. I would love to have a romantic night in but the problem is Portland is my home town and boyfriend is come to stay with the family. These plans developed too late for Hotels, Beach Houses or Snowshoeing adventures to be arranged.
I went to New York for a belated graduation gift from my parents (wheee!) and saw a fuckton of shows (WHEEEE!) so does anyone want to chat musicals/theatre? Because I am on a HIGH.
Things I saw and am eager to discuss:
– Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812
– No Man’s Land (IAN MCKELLEN & PATRICK STEWART <3)
– After Midnight
– Matilda the Musical (and wept)
– Pippin
– Newsies
Also the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, but nothing really needs to be said about that other than it was NUTS.
NO MAN’S LAND. NO MAN’S LAND. HOW CUTE ARE THOSE TWO???
TEH CUTEST. Ian McKellen eating eggs and sipping champagne I DIE.
Him eating breakfast was one of the more mesmerizing theatre experiences of my life. I fell in love with him the moment he tried the champagne as if it were wine. And Pat Stewart. Ah, Pat.
SLEEP NO MORE I ALSO WENT TO SLEEP NO MORE FUUUUUUCK. I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it.
Whenever you do, come sit by me. I could talk about Sleep No More forever.
I WAS DEEPLY UNPREPARED FOR THE FINALE HOLY FUCK.
I can’t shake the feeling that I did it wrong? It was legit incredible, but I feel like I missed sooooo much. Like, is that normal the first time?
Also I saw Macbeth get way naked. That part was okay.
Well, you definitely did not do it wrong as long as you saw some beautiful naked people. There is SO MUCH going on all the time in it. I’ve been 4 times and I still saw things the last time that I missed the first three times.
It’s admittedly sort of hard to piece together since there are non-Macbeth things happening in the story (“story’). I think following Macbeth or Lady Macbeth for one loop is always a good idea when you can find them just to get a feel for the main narrative. The best part, really, is talking to other people about what THEY saw and trying to match it together with your experience.
I was just talking with my friends about going again after Christmas. It’s the beeeeest.
I went by myself, which made it more difficult to get a good idea of the whole thing afterwards (although I did buy the book) and was TERRIFYING at first. I’m not terribly fond of the dark; turning a corner and finding myself in the graveyard was a BAD START TO THE NIGHT.
I chilled out eventually, once I realized no one was going to actively try to scare me. You’re right about the non-Macbeth things being confusing — I spent a long time following the red-haired red-dress lady, who was divine but like WHO ARE YOU?!?!?!
Oh boy, yeah! I felt the same way. I refused to go to the 5th floor hospital the first time because I thought it was creepy as hell. There’s also a room with a crib and doll parts hanging from the ceiling which is still very NOPE NOPE NOPE for me.
That’s Hecate! I also followed her around a whole lot the first time I went and was totally confused. She’s fascinating and so much stuff happens around her!
The nursery with the headless dolls and the padded room on the 5th floor were equal parts “NOPE NOPE HELL NOPE” for me. Like turned on my heel and ran.
THAT’S HECATE!?!?!? That is so fucking cool. Damn, she was a badass bitch.
PIPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN. I saw that in Cambridge and it was soooooooooooo great.
Literally turning green with envy over you getting to see the Sirs in action.
And I saw Newsies about a year and a half ago and adored it!
All three were great! It was especially awesome to see Patina Miller in action — she’s incredible.
Wow, that’s a hell of a theater marathon.
I was at No Man’s Land the other night! I loved the cast, but am not the biggest fan of Pinter. Seeing Godot this weekend, though, and I am SO STOKED.
Also saw Natasha, Pierre… a month or so ago and was a little underwhelmed? I wanted to like it more than I did, because the concept was so cool and that’s one of my favorite sections of W&P. Some of the music was catchy as hell, and Philippa Soo was AMAZING, but after awhile it kind of felt like the songs were just literal descriptions of the character’s actions (“I stare across the room at him,” “I take her hand,” etc.), and I was wishing for a little more playfulness in the lyrics. But I’m glad I saw it, and I’m hoping it opens a door for more non-traditional stagings on Broadway.
Next time you’re here, you should check out the downtown theater scene too! There are usually some pretty exciting things going on, and the tickets are way cheaper.
Yeah, I had help from my parents, but even with discount/rush tickets it was kind of expensive. I saved like crazy to do it though. I’d be down to check out some cheaper, less mainstream stuff next time.
I liked the Pinter okay, but I think in the end I would have preferred Godot. SO jealous you’re going!
I was also a little underwhelmed by Natasha, Pierre, for the EXACT same reasons! Loved the staging, LOVED the design, Philippa Soo was outstanding, and parts of the score were good, but the music didn’t hold together for me. I thought the non-rhyming, sort of rambly lyrics really weakened the storytelling and it felt sloppy, borderline inane. I think it could have used a little more time in the incubator and probably a lyricist. But yes, really glad I saw it and I hope there are more like it down the road.
For next time, off the top of my head I’d recommend Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind, which is a series of mini-plays and monologues by a group called the Neo-Futurists (two of whom are Jeffrey Cranor and Cecil Baldwin from Night Vale, if that rings a bell). Happens every weekend, and they’re constantly swapping in new material.
It’s also worth checking out what’s going on at BAM, the Public Theater, La MaMa, etc., and seeing if there’s any type of festival happening (Under the Radar, FringeNYC, etc.), because that’s a good way to see a LOT of things for pretty damn cheap.
I started the morning with a dentist appointment, but my lovely dentist was able to fill a cavity in a super-weird place so I suppose I should be grateful. (Still, though. Ow.)
I got my brother the Hawkeye collection from the most recent run with Matt Fraction and David Aja, which is precisely as good as everyone says it is. Even people who don’t really love comics like this book, in my experience. Also, for stocking stuffers, I recommend the Badger cocoa butter lip balm. Softer than their regular balm, petroleum free, comes in a pleasantly chubby tube, and comes in a bunch of scents/flavors. I like the vanilla.
Oh man, I <3 Hawkguy so much. And now I’m just following Matt Fraction & Kelly Sue Deconnick (who are married to each other, but who I discovered independently) around the comics universe and having a great time
My secret life plan is to move to Portland and become their best friend.
KELLY SUUUUUUUUUE. She reblogged something I wrote about how mad I got at the dudebros complaining about Captain Marvel’s new costume and I died.
They were both at Geek Girl Con and I got to see her speak and they signed comics for us and she took a wacky picture with Mr. Fringehead and it was great
I’m getting my father-in-law cheese for Christmas! He doesn’t want or need anything, so: cheese. As much as I’d like to do a -of-the-month club, we’re too poor, so instead we’re getting him a bunch from the grocery store. Big ole bag of cheese.
I’ve gotten my father jars of nuts for the past three Christmases. Just thick socks and jars of nuts. I always ask my mom if he’s acquired any hobbies in the past year that don’t offend me, but nope. So, nuts it is.
Oxfam will also do. Most of my family has too much crap, and doesn’t want anymore. Neither do I. So, we have good times together, do an “experience” thing, and I get Oxfam for the grandparents and parents that still “need” a gift.
There has to be other Toasties who are as excited as I am that Hannibal is coming back, and sooner than anticipated. I MEAN LOOK AT THIS POSTER IT’S AMAZING .
THANK GOODNESS THERE ARE MORE OF US. I can’t wait and I can’t handle those gorgeous cooking scenes because I keep having to remind myself that it’s PEOPLE and that I’m not allowed to get hungry watching it.
SO EXCITED (because: Hannibal! But also because I want Hugh Dancy and Claire Danes to start a webseries about Will Graham and Carrie Matheson’s comically dysfunctional marriage)
SO SCARED because of that poster. But like, happy scared, in delicious anticipation. February 28 is not far!!!!
I CAN’T WAIT. I was so excited when I saw the poster. Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill
YES!!! I am soooo excited for this – it’s such a beautifully done show (not to mention disturbing, holy fuck).
(this is where I admit that I watched most of the last season peeking through my fingers and screaming quietly.)
It’s coming back on the night of my anniversary. For once I am glad that I do not own a television and will have to Internet-watch it later, or else I would have a difficult choice to make and my significant other might be mad at me.
Oh no what happened to Sad Beard Dog Man??? Is he now Evil Beard Dog Man??? D: (I watch Hannibal through the medium of Occasional Gifs On My Tumblr Dash because I’m far too chicken to watch it for real).
Always gonna promote Threadless t-shirts because they’re local and I like them. People tend to also like area-specific food, so I go with that (used to be chocolate from San Francisco (NOT GHIRARDELLI) but recently things like artisan giardinera etc).
Love giving people books I think would be important to them and asking to talk about it. I WILL FORCE YOU TO READ DAMMIT. Or taking people places, plays, concerts, etc. Posters and prints are cool too even if people never put them up, but you can frame them yourself with cheap frames from Ikea!
Yes to books, yes to concerts. My youngest brother is getting a book about Formula One racing, my youngest sister is getting Fangirl & a necklace and my parents are getting tickets to Man of La Mancha.
It just took me three hours to get to work, because it snowed in Seattle. OH GOD EVERYONE PANIC. There’s like, a half inch downtown. On the upside I’m the only one here in my department, so I’m just going to fuck around all day.
Riiiiiight? I mean, to be fair, a lot of the people I work with live in like Snoqualmie or whatever, where there might be actual snow, but where I live the roads were just wet. Compared to Colorado, the reaction here always kind of cracks me up (until traffic goes to hell & it takes hours to get anywhere)
I had a first appointment scheduled with a therapist, really looking forward to it, and then I read an article he wrote that was … not very therapist-y and kind of sexist? So I sent a very polite but honest email canceling the appointment and saying the article made me uncomfortable, and I didn’t think it would be a good fit.
And he sent a kind of hostile one back saying “well, I guess I could offer you platitudes but you sound like you’ve made up your mind, on the basis of ONE article, oh and by the way, I work with a lot of female clients and what I wrote was based on what they told me.”
I was a little worried that I was overreacting when I sent the cancellation email, but his reply made me feel *great* about my decision.
Jesus. I wonder if he was going to tell you all your therapy issues could be solved if you could only get your uterus to stop wandering through your body and causing hysteria.
Funny you say that, the article he wrote was basically, “[these particular kinds of] bitches be crazy, and I don’t know why, but maybe it’s because their career prevented them from having babies or boyfriends?”
Ladies: your uterus needs to be full of baby or you will get the crazies! It’s SCIENCE.
Wow, what an ass. You definitely made the right choice!
wow, way to dodge a bullet, you nimble bullet dodger! bad therapists are TEH WORST.
This is like finding out that your blind date likes to quote Ayn Rand to support economic policy BEFORE the blind date. SCORE!
I was just thinking earlier today about something related to this. Why is it that some of the worst examples of dismissive, emotionally abusive behavior comes from therapists of the Tx and Rx types? My last psych doc landed me in the hospital because he decided I was being delusional and exaggerating. About an allergic reaction to meds he prescribed. A scientifically measurable reaction. At no point was I anything less than calm and collected, but was still treated like a “crazy lady”. I’ve noticed this happen only with psych docs and therapists, not other docs, and have heard anecdotal evidence from others that they’ve seen the same.
Luckily, this is the first therapist of this kind I’ve encountered. But I can see how the profession could be attractive to people who want to control others, and/or feel powerful and superior. “I know you better than you know yourself” was a common refrain of a fairly abusive person I used to know.
What the….wow. Bullet dodged, my friend. Bullet dodged.
I had a therapist like that! I wish I had never gone to see him at all, so good call. After that I decided no male therapists again, ever. I realize this is narrow of me, discriminatory, etc., but this is my mental health we’re talking about here and IDGAF about being fair.
I am embarking on a death wish, AKA apartment hunting in San Francisco. I’m looking for a room in an existing place (because I can’t afford anything else) and I am being very picky. But then on Wednesday I went to see a BEAUTIFUL PLACE, YOU GUYS, and I’m not sure how to tell them “PLEASE PICK ME I REALLY WANT TO LIVE HERE WHAT WILL IT TAKE” without being creepy.
Any SF toasties need a roommate? I’m choosy about neighborhood but nothing else, really.
I wish I needed one! And my apartment peeps told me they chose me because I was the only person who seemed interested in what the dynamics of the apartment were like, what everyone did, etc, and wasn’t just like “I will take this room please thanks” even though that was how I felt in my head. So it’s like any situation meeting people: ask them things!! Show you are interested in them as people!
I will need one – in June, when I’ll be moving there from NY for work. Out of out-of-towner ignorance/curiosity, what neighborhoods are you looking in?
I’m kind of stumped on what to get my dad. He works outside, so I got him a pair of touch screen compatible gloves. I also got him a bottle of his favorite gin. I want to get 1 other thing for him, in the $20-30 range but I just do. not. know. I’d like to get him something fun/gadgety. I got him this last year as one of his presents and it was his favorite thing. Any ideas?? And I guess it would have to be something I can find in stores since it’s too late to order online.
My dad loves organizing shit, so in the past I’ve gotten him organizer thingys for his car visor, his car trunk, his tools, BBQ utensils…..this year’s winner is a battery organizer. It goes on the wall and has different sized holes for all the sizes of batteries, and has a tester thing so you can make sure they work. I bought it online but I bet you could find one at a hardware/home store.
Oh, I think that might be a winner. That sounds awesome! Will check my local hardware store. Thank you!
Second bottle of gin.
You gals/guys, I’ve decided to become an EMT as a side/weekend job. I registered for classes. Should be certified by May. Let’s do this. Oh, and Happy Holidays!
Hey! I signed up for a First Responder class and I, too, should be certified by May.
Yessssss let’s save lives simultaneously! Or at least see bloody gross things simultaneously!
So if I do all my grocery shopping at Target, precisely how fucked am I? No weird transactions are showing up, but …
I’m just going to monitor my statements and let Visa and Target know if I see anything. I don’t think they got SSNs or anything like that, so we’re probably not too fucked.
I’m planning on keeping an eye on my statement closely. I noticed that target is asking you to contact them if you see a funny charge, but I’m going to contact my credit card fraud number instead. I don’t super have faith in Target to sort it out right now, you know?
You guys, this is the week I started putting egg nog in my smoothies instead of cold peppermint tea and shit is getting REAL.
they both sound great! what were the other ingredients for the peppermint tea one — milk and bananas? anything else?
peppermint tea, kefir, frozen blueberries and frozen mango! It’s like a froyo type texture and it’s great.
Ahhh guys some friends and I are meeting on Sunday to discuss a business plan for the ad agency we are starting I’M SCARED IS THIS ADULTHOOD
Good luck! Agency work has the potential to be great fun and really rewarding (there’s something about nailing a campaign or concept that’s such a rush).
Thanks!! We all work and have worked at advertising agencies and just really want to create a culture of our own, since the ones we’ve seen are…not ideal :\
You’re pulling a full-on Don Draper! Good luck!
This is adulthood. Embrace it. Prove its pleasures. Leave it gasping on the bed wanting more, Cosima. You can do this.
Oh my god ColourB4 is amazing. It smells a bit like raw sewage, but I’m blonde again, no bleach involved. Thank you chemistry.
I hope everyone likes gift cards and scarves, because that’s what they’re getting from me this year. I couldn’t think of anything creative and I just… ran out of time.
Oh and Pajanimals (?) for my cousin’s kids and matching Mass Effect N7 coffee mugs for my boyfriend and me.
I took my cat on a plane! And when he escaped in the airport, I caught him! And it was okay!
Oh my god, having my cats escape when I am taking them somewhere is like my worst nightmare. You are a goddamn superhero.
It was the sort of horrifying experience that put grad school into perspective.
Later, in the airport, a lady came up to me and said that she saw me chasing my cat and laughed, as though it was some sort of a great caper / lark / etc.; I am proud to say that I responded to her entirely civilly and did not FREAK THE FUCK OUT, like I wanted to.
So, obviously, I win the day and am now just going to eat cheese and watch Sherlock.
so terrifying, glad that it worked out!
some day i will probably have to move and do this with my pet rabbit, and he truly is insanely fast when he bolts in addition to not always being very bright, as in there would be no possible way to catch him if he didn’t decide on his own to run back to me for shelter, so i’m having all sorts of sympathy pains about your story!
(eep, trust and small animals)
Do they make rabbit harnesses? I think I would be tempted to put a harness and leash on him in his carrier so that if he tries to make a run for it you’ve got something less slippery than rabbit to grab on to.
They do! Mine has one, but he has been known to wriggle out of it. And there’s no question he could chew through any leash given time. Luckily he does come to shelter behind me when he’s scared sometimes, so maybe a combination of that plus a harness to slow him down for a few moments if worst came to worst would work.
my partner and i didn’t feel like waiting for christmas and we don’t really celebrate it anyway, so we opened our presents last week. now i am not sure if christmas will feel anticlimactic or not — but probably not?
i gave him the new book of emily dickinson’s envelope poems, Gorgeous Nothings, and he gave me this big book of Gerhard Richter’s personal photo & drawing archives called Atlas — so we are both definitely big nerds and happy about it!
Since there’s a lot of writers and creative types, I wondering if anyone would be interested in starting a writing group of some sort. I try to force myself to write at least every other day but I find that I tend to be a better and more productive writer if I know someone is expecting something from. Plus critiquing others’ works is also a nice skill to develop.
Or if one already exists, can I join your club? I can only comment on Friday so I may be out of the loop.
I think this is a great idea!
I finally finished that NYT story about Dasani and now there seems to be a localized rain cloud right over my face………what a compelling piece. Wow.
Things I’m struggling with today: my brother is kind of crappy. Like, graduated college three years ago with an even less marketable than most art degree, has never worked a job in his life, lives at home and drives my parents and sister nuts. And does nothing all day but internet. And he’s just kind of social awkward to like, stereotypical Asperger’s levels (I’m not trying to offend anyone on the spectrum, I just genuinely don’t know how to describe the level of social… non-functioning). He earns no money, racks up bills on his credit card that my mother is still named on, almost never showers and being around him is like walking on eggshells all the time.
My parents have yet to do anything other than vaguely talk about how they might pay for an apartment for him for a few months as a step towards his independence.
So… how do I go home for Christmas and deal with this without snapping? My parents can afford to let him live like this, but I see the emotional/mental costs it has on them, and I can’t quite disengage from that. Sorry for the rant guys, but I just need to vent a bit before I go home.
He sounds really unhappy, if that helps in having compassion/patience for him.
The no job ever thing is really troubling, though. If he has Asperberg-y social awkwardness issues, he needs to be practicing how to fit into an adult working environment without rubbing other people the wrong way too much, so that by the time he gets a job he really wants, he’ll be able to hold it down. Maybe you could take a moment when you’re away from your brother/your house with one of your parents and talk about this with them? They may have lost perspective a little since they live with this. You’ll have to be calm and concerned but otherwise unemotional about it though — it’s important that it doesn’t come off as some kind of sibling rivalry.
Has your brother ever actually been evaluated for autistic spectrum disorder? If not, it might be worth talking to him/your parents about getting him evaluated. There might be resources/organizations in your area that can help him find a job and prepare for independent living.
I’m dealing with something similar this holiday… my brother was diagnosed with Asperger’s in middle school, graduated high school 3 years ago and, after an abortive attempt at community college, he’s just been interneting ever since. Over the holidays, I’m going to try and talk to him & my parents about a job skills/job placement program for autistic adults near where my parents live.
Good luck to both of us, I guess!
CAN WE TALK ABOUT UTAH BEING UNEXPECTEDLY AWESOME?! And the adorable gay couple who live-tweeted their journey to get a marriage license?! And how I just want to kiss someone out of joy? I mean, I expected New Mexico, but UTAH.
I am so, so, so excited about this. Being from the similarly very conservative state of Idaho, the rejection of Utah’s ban seems like an enormously big deal to me. The Salt Lake county clerk could have dragged her heels on issuing licenses so that none actually were issued before the state gets the emergency stay it’s seeking, but she started issuing them almost immediately! And the mayor officiated at weddings already! I think it’s glorious.
Yaye! I have just been invited to a Christmas feast with a HIGH LESBIAN DENSITY. Of the eight confirmed, only one is straight.
And she is only fifteen and so may be presumed to be still finding herself (It gets better).
Over Christmas, I’m going to see my younger second cousin who has just finished her first semester at a crazy religious college. I want to help un-brainwash her – we’re not particularly close, but I think she likes me we’ll enough, and I think that maybe I can help show her there’s a real world out there that’s so much broader than what she’s experienced so far. Anyone have any ideas?
Toasties,
I know no one is reading, but I am in an airport having just seen my long distance boyfriend off and it is the worst and I hate it.
Ugh, I just wanted to get that out there.
The very worst.
Hooray! I shall also be emailing. 🙂
Thank you so much! You've put my mind at ease. I've been really broke for the past two years, and not able to do it (my insurance doesn't cover dental, boooo.) I am going to contact the low-income dental clinic in the new year and work it out. I hope your healing process goes well and that you don't need more dental work (ever?)!
I know it’s a bit late but I just got my Toast hoodie and I’m going to wear it in airports tomorrow (TUS, DFW, GSO). If you see me, come say hi!
I’d prefer to wear a ‘kill all men’ tee, but hey, airports are cold.