And please don’t tell me “just stay awake while the sun is out.” A wizard has taken up residence behind my eyes and I have no control when he opens and closes them. I live inside of a jar of malicious jelly. There is molasses and cobwebs in my brain. Sleep is a vicious Paleozoic sea that washes over me against my will. Yesterday was Monday, and today is Monday as well? I don’t remember when the last time I was fully awake. Give me your advice, and I will take it, if I have not lost the power of speech.
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.