ByJade Sylvan

Jade Sylvan is the author of Kissing Oscar Wilde, and also a poet and performing artist based in Cambridge, MA. Read more about Jade's work at

  1. Let's do the time warp again. 

    We're coming up on the 40th anniversary of one of the world's most well-known cult films, The Rocky Horror Picture Show. To celebrate, MAC has released a celebratory line of cosmetics so you can facially embody, with perfect screen accuracy, your favorite character from the film. 

    It's actually kind of amazing no major makeup company has done this before. Rocky Horror

  2. Jade Sylvan's previous work for The Toast can be found here. In high school, my parents said I went through “phases.” I would cut my hair short, lift weights, and dress super butch one year, then I would grow my hair out, get highlights, go on diets, and wear tight dresses and heels the next. Sometimes in my butcher phases I'd smash down my breasts and deepen my voice and actually try to “pass”…

  3. This post is brought to you by A Man. Sometime in my late twenties I started asking close friends if everyone thought about killing themselves all the time. “I mean, is this like a human condition sort of thing?” I'd ask over a beer or a coffee (a jocund raconteur, I am). “Like, does everyone walk around with a not-quite-voice in their head going youreafreaknobodylovesyougohomeandhangyourself pretty much every day, and is everyone else just way better at dealing…

  4. Jade Sylvan last wrote about buying a bed for her poly triad. This post brought to you "From C, to D, ABD."


    Ernest Hemingway/F. Scott Fitzgerald after A Moveable Feast   “Just write the truest sentence that you know,” says Ernest, coy of his pentameter. Scott's lost in another loveless bender, the wine too strong, or else the conversation.

  5. This, the Toastiest piece ever written, is brought to you by our own Tia Baheri on behalf of Abigail, who really doesn't need more Navy in her closet this holiday season. It's 9PM on a Tuesday and I'm in a U-Haul cargo van with my two female-bodied romantic partners riding fifty minutes outside of Boston to look at the king-sized bed Victoria found on Craigslist that will hopefully, as Finn puts it, “withstand the…