Dear Christine Parker, Dear Chris Parker, Dear Christine, Dear Chris, Dear Eponymous Babysitter of Adventures in Babysitting, My calling you dear is no mere adherence to epistolary convention, for you are and always have been truly dear to me. You are not real—never were; never will be—but to me you have been more influential than plenty of actual people. I hold you in my mind and I find you in my heart at unexpected times…