Previously: Putting your face on. Darlings! You have been sorely missed -- I'm so glad to be back amongst you Toastinis (Toasterinis? Toasterazzi? I'll get this). Thank you for the incredible Toasty warm welcome to my column last month! You are a lovely and incredible bunch. Please accept these virtual hugsies as a token of my gratitude. Scrolling through your comments was the most fun I've ever had with my clothes on! And I was picking up what…

This is the story of how an awkward, funny-looking teenager became an awkward (funny-looking but working it) woman who loves make-up, nail art and all things sparkly. Now, darlings, when I say I was awkward, I feel like you don't yet understand the severity of the situation. Please see conclusive evidence below:

Is that clearer now? May I direct your attention to the glasses which covered approximately 99% of my face?

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