You were discussing transcendental idealism over oysters, and one thing led to another.

Without any forethought, you deliver a lengthy monologue that connects the Riemann hypothesis, the poetry of Wordsworth, and your love life.

You encounter a troupe of thespian funambulists. They are glib, and not to be trusted.

John Leavitt's previous work for The Toast can be found here.

18. Tennessee Williams - Tried to open eye drop bottle with teeth, choked on cap.

17. Joe Orton - Bludgeoned to death by partner during domestic dispute.

16. Jean-Paul Sartre - Infected papercut.

15. Arthur Miller - Frowned for too long, too deep.

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