Things That Are Universally Liked Within a Very Particular Demographic -The Toast

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1. Allison Janney’s performance as C.J. Cregg on The West Wing.

2. Using the Boer War as a metaphor for things that are really, really old.

3. Informing someone that “flaccid” used to be pronounced “flak-sid,” but “flass-id” DOES sound more appropriate given the image it creates.

4. When you are six minutes away from bailing on someone so you can stay home and watch TV, and they cancel on you first.

5. Stevie Wonder’s performance of “Superstition” on Sesame Street.

6. Robert Munsch’s The Paper Bag Princess.

7. Shows featuring Timothy Olyphant as an angry person with hats and really low-riding jeans.

8. Nice tributes to the guy who wrote one of the books that became one of the shows featuring Timothy Olyphant as an angry person with hats and really low-riding jeans.

9. Eating in any position other than upright and at a table.

10. Celebrity blind items where someone has clearly gotten it right in the comments and everyone agrees but you wouldn’t have figured it out on your own.

11. Very slow remixes of “Jolene.”

12. Pointing out that you’ve always liked “Jolene.”

13. Getting to explain what steampunk is to someone who has not yet heard of the idea of steampunk.

14. Books about death in the Grand Canyon.

15. Books about death in Yellowstone.

16. Books about death in Yosemite.

17. When elderly black people are friends with elderly white people in real life, not just on benches in ads for statins.

18. Pappardelle.

19. The opportunity to correct someone for having a cell phone conversation on Amtrak’s Quiet Car.

20. Saying “a raisin is a horrible thing to do to a grape” to someone who hasn’t heard you say it every time someone mentions raisins.

21. Middle-aged Canadian lesbian stoners.

22. kd lang

23. Listening to kd lang with middle-aged Canadian lesbian stoners while eating pappardelle.

24. A new video about cats on YouTube that has enough of an original hook to it that you can share it on Facebook.

25. Anne Helen Petersen’s “Scandals of Classic Hollywood” series.

26. Dessert menus that have something which is basically just a huge, upscale Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

27. Pretending you’re singing Kirsty MacColl’s half of the “Fairytale of New York” duet by the Pogues in a a karaoke bar, while Sean Bean sings the other half, because you’re dating and he doesn’t care if people know.

28. When movies are made now, but set in the 1970s.

29. Anticipating how amazing smartphones will be in twenty years.

30. Thinking about how embarrassing it will be for Adam Levine’s kids to watch his music videos.

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First of all, I am one hundred percent the demographic for #26: "Dessert menus that have something which is basically just a huge, upscale Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup."

However, I know I am also in the demographic for this, but WHO ON THIS GREEN EARTH does not love Allison Janney's performance as C.J. Cregg on The West Wing?
6 replies · active 609 weeks ago
"not just on benches in ads for statins" perfect
1 reply · active 609 weeks ago
Oh my god, the cover of Death in Grand Canyon. ADD TO CART.
5 replies · active 609 weeks ago
#19 is my dream scenario, because I love being RIGHT because of RULES, and if you would like to post more pieces about the quiet car on Amtrak I will promise to click through all of them.

#10 is as satisfying as finally reaching an itchy spot in the middle of your back.
Allison Janney is a gift. A TREASURE. I still want to be C.J. Cregg when I grow up. You know, when I'm not wanting to be Minerva McGonagall when I grow up.

Scandals of Classic Hollywood: also a gift.

(Also I have always loved Jolene! Thanks, mom.)
Who doesn't like Jolene? Seriously. I didn't even have the introduction via my parents because of their whole "coming to the US in the 1980s after spending their formative years growing up in a civil war" thing but it's managed to work its way to my ears.
2 replies · active 609 weeks ago
Death in the Grand Canyon! When I was fourteen my mom, her new live-in boyfriend and I went to the Grand Canyon to "bond as a family". I spent the entire time scowling and crossing my arms, and then I demanded they buy me that book from the gift shop. They did, and I read it aloud on the very long drive back home hoping it would annoy my stepdad enough for him to break up with my mom. It didn't work, but I still own/love that book SO MUCH!
"When you are six minutes away from bailing on someone so you can stay home and watch TV, and they cancel on you first."

This is basically the only thing that makes me happy.
3 replies · active 609 weeks ago
#12 certainly applies to me but no, I have not yet heard of the idea of steampunk.
This totally reminds me of my partner's saying: "There are two types of people in this world: People who dislike Kate Mulgrew's voice, and lesbians."
2 replies · active 609 weeks ago
I'm here for Raylan...also, who doesn't like AHP?
2 replies · active 609 weeks ago
I identify with many of these things, so I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now.

And I am ADAMANT that two of the best live song performances of ALL TIME are: 1) Superstition live on Sesame Street and 2) Birdhouse in Your Soul on the Tonight Show (Doc Severinsen trumpet solo!). I will defend this position not to the death, but pretty far.
9 replies · active 609 weeks ago
27 is my lucky number and also now has a perfect place in my heart.
6: I bought "Paper Bag Princess" at a tag sale and laughed so hard when I got to the end of it that I insisted on reading it to my daughter again, although she had not requested a re-read.

10: I am SO BAD at BIs, but I always want to know the answer, so yes, bless that person.

13: I explained steampunk to my entire office once, and it was glorious, especially the various facial expressions people went through.
2 replies · active 609 weeks ago
God the boer war. Old'ish white people in South Africa.
4, 25, 26
WORD (on the CJ tip in particular, for obvious reasons). I put flamingoes on my wedding invitations, I love her/Alison Janney so much. Weird tribute, but whatever.
it's true guys, our middle-aged lesbian stoners are really, really top-notch! everyone should move to canada!
I have been trying to find a definitive history (geological, political?,ethnographic) of the Grand Canyon for a while now. I think I'll just read about death though. Thanks, Nicole!
2 replies · active 609 weeks ago
#27... but leaving out the word "f-ggot" because it makes you uncomfortable.
What does it say about me that Death in Yellowstone was my souvenir of choice from Yellowstone at..... age 10?
4 replies · active 609 weeks ago
Ohhh Amazon is telling me I can purchase all three Death In... books together for $51! Hmmmm

I came home from a trip to San Francisco/Yosemite with "Blood on the Sea" - it detailed the history of every destroyer lost in WWII. It's actually one of my favorite books but still - weird reading choices as a 15 year old.
I like all of these things.

My people. I have found them.
2 replies · active 609 weeks ago
ok but which theme song is worse: Justified or The L Word (the one for season 2 on, presuming they never got rid of it)
7 replies · active 584 weeks ago
I don't relate to most of these, but hell if I haven't spent HOURS reading about people falling off the half dome in Yosemite. Need to read those books ASAP.
Ew no, Sean Bean the actual human being IS GROSS. Would not hit. (That's right, I'll say it).
I feel extremely validated in my choice of username.
2 replies · active 609 weeks ago
whispers "i don't like pappardelle" and runs away.
2 replies · active 609 weeks ago
So #7 is The Demographic of People with Eyes and a Pulse? Because if there is anyone who doesn't like shows with Tim Olyphant (yes, we are on a first name basis), hats, and jeans, I don't want to know them.

Also #7 is particularly timely, as I just lent someone my DVD of Go based on a conversation about Mr. Olyphant.
Seriously what is the deal with Timothy Olyphant though? Without the hat and simmering rage he does nothing for me but with them, HELLO THERE. I mean he even made an 1800s mustache work in Deadwood.
2 replies · active 609 weeks ago
Oh, Sean Bean! You could have been some one -- but so could anyone, and uh let's not forget about how you TOOK MY DREAMS FROM ME / WHEN I FIRST FOUND YOU
2 replies · active 607 weeks ago
Sorry, Sean Bean, but nobody makes a better non-Shane-McGowan Fairytale in New York duet partner than my pop. I have many fond Xmas memories of singing that with Pa Jinx while we drove around town looking at Xmas lights.
If you don't like Stevie Wonder, I'm not sure I want to know you.

Also, I don't ride Amtrak enough to have ever corrected someone in the Quiet Car, but oh, the joy I would feel in my soul if I could. As it is, I content myself with warning tourists about the $100 fine for eating on the Metro.
I cannot get enough shows featuring Timothy Olyphant as an angry person with hats and really low-riding jeans.
I want this explaining steampunk experience so bad. It's brought attention to a small void inside me that I never knew was there.
2 replies · active 609 weeks ago
#27: GET OUT OF MY HEAD NICOLE
Peter Moore's avatar

Peter Moore · 609 weeks ago

So what was that about in the West Wing when they all go to Hollywood and C.J. is like star-struck and then later they have this episode about how she was recruited for the team and her job is hot-shot Hollywood publicist who doesn't even know about politics. That was a betrayal of C.J.
21 & 23 <3

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