Your Gender Expression In Art

by Mallory Ortberg · August 25, 2014

tinaA little chat on gender expression and performance on Twitter this morning turned into a lively and frolicksome mass-interview that I invite you to join in, should you feel so inclined.

Answers so far include Bobby Hill from King of the Hill, Tina Belcher mixed with Jane Lane, Mulan, Sam from Lip Service, “The White Witch as she slits Aslan’s throat” (that one was me, sorry sorry sorry), Rock Hudson, a bell hooks quote, a Prince song, and Watts from Some Kind of Wonderful. Please add to this rich and shining tapestry with whatever piece of culture best represents your truest and best self.

If no piece of culture yet represents your truest and best self, please feel free to submit a free-form drawing or representational graph in the comments.

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327 Comments

  1. beatrizcentury +11

    holy shit I love this question/idea. okay okay: Penny Century from los bros hernandez “Love and Rockets” + Rufus Wainwright Does Judy Garland album (mostly: How Long Has This Been Going On?), Sailor Saturn and St. Vincent’s Prince Johnny. This year, anyway.

    2. deleted7410012 +2

      st. vincent’s prince johnny! this answer doesn’t match for me personally, but it’s such a good description.

  2. Arabelle +21

    i’m a cyborg but that’s ok was actually the catalyst for my current gender chaos and feminist agenda. i love all chan-wook park’s movies

  3. keristars +21

    So my response was:
    I want to be James Cagney from FOOTLIGHT PARADE – you know the Busby Berkeley musical from the 30s with Dick Powell (ugh) and Joan Blondell and Ruby Keeler and it has that really terrible Shanghai tapdance number at the end?

    I can’t put it into words exactly, but James Cagney in that movie is so much what I want to be.

    But, actually, I’m Ruby Keeler in secretary drag.

    More than that, I realized that I’m probably ALSO Ruby Keeler as a dancer: awkward and not quite right in the frilly feminine clothes she gets costumed in – she just looks uncomfortable and gangly, but like she also isn’t comfortable not dressing up in that kind of thing – and I can’t even dance well, too boot. (I’m a charter member of the We Don’t Care For Ruby Keeler’s Roles club, and now I feel a bit self-conscious that I hate her screen persona, yet identify with it so much.)

    This is also a pretty good representation, I think:

    And here’s Cagney and secretary!Ruby:

    I watch a lot of 1930s pictures, it is my hobby, so it is my go-to for a media example.

    1. keristars +5

      Follow-up: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hhrluilbpko/UxPekE2Jx3I…

      Cagney gets Joan Blondell in the end and how could you not want to be Cagney so you can kiss Joan Blondell when she’s all no-nonsense and capable? Ruby’s ready to fight him for her in the photo, I swear.

      ETA: OMG SO SORRY this picture was way bigger than Google Image Search suggested it would be.

    2. Rosie_M_Banks +3

      For what it’s worth, I agree with your assessment of Dick Powell; he is the worst.

      1. keristars +1

        I’m off work today and it’s Dick Powell’s Summer Under the Stars on TCM and my week has been pretty shitty. It’s like the universe is micro-aggressing me.

        (not to co-opt the micro-aggression language, it’s tongue-in-cheek, but damn this weak is wearing on me with little things not really worth complaining about)

        1. Rosie_M_Banks +5

          Oh nooooo, that sounds terrible. Those little things do add up after a while.

          A couple years ago, husband spent several months watching only films from the ’30s, including a solid week or more focusing on Busby Berkeley musicals, and to this day I cannot look at Dick Powell without wanting to punch him (Dick Powell, not my husband) in the teeth.

          1. keristars +2

            Oh god a whole week of BB musicals? that would kill me. I have to space them out, because the fantasy musical numbers break my suspension of disbelief, and then you get Dick being smarmy and stupid on top of it.

            TCM tweeted last night that Dick Powell went on to do noir after the musical trend died down in the late 30s, and I’m kind of tempted to watch one just to see, but is it worth it for him? There are three actors I absolutely loathe and they are Dick Powell, James Stewart, and it’s like the two of them had a love child named Nic Cage (whom I hated long before it was an internet meme). Actually, I dislike Joe E. Brown, too, but his pictures are kind of obscure these days, so it’s not much of an issue.

          2. Gzortenplatz +3

            Definitely worth watching him as Philip Marlowe in Murder, My Sweet, filmed version of Raymond Chandler’s Farewell My Lovely. IMDB says the name was changed so audiences wouldn’t think it was another musical.

          3. keristars +2

            OH. I’ve heard good things about Murder, My Sweet. I’ll have to keep an eye out for it if it ever makes it to the Watch TCM app (which is how I watch most films these days, using my parents’ comcast log-in…)

            I feel bad for hating actors, because it’s not necessarily THEIR fault the studios gave them crappy roles or misused their skills. So I’ll try Dick Powell out in his noir stuff. Maybe he’ll be like Fred Astaire for me, where I loathe him in certain roles but really like watching him in others.

            Thanks for the tip 🙂

    3. typewriterandgramophone +1

      Oh, I agree so much with all your views on Busby Berkeley’s stock players, and the archetypes they portray. Sometimes my mother and I will try to make each other laugh by reciting iconic movie speeches as Ruby Keeler would have said them.

    4. theizzEB

      Oh! I am entirely helpless in my love for Jimmy Cagney! Just a shot his snarky mischievous face and I know I would absolutely follow him on any misguided crime spree. I absolutely agree that I wish my gender expression was represented by him, but alas, it is not the case.

      I feel like in my better days I can almost channel Joan Blondel’s fabulousness – her spunk, no-nonsense attitude, and palpable sense of fun. Her and Cagney have some of the best 1930s movie star couple chemistry. (It is a shame that she never managed to be in many truly great movies.)

      However, on my worst days I feel like Margaret Dumont from all the Marx Brothers movies – perpetually just not in on the joke.

  4. ectocool +52

    Tai from Clueless, after she gets her makeover and is standing in front of the 3-way mirror in the shirt with the giant purple heart on it, doing a little dance.

  6. sednarea51 +49

    Ideally: Peggy Carter in “Captain America”. Realistically: Turanga Leela with less awesome biceps.

  7. hugpunch +38

    Originally I said Marlene Dietrich’s double take at the lady at the table while she’s singing in her tuxedo in the movie “Morocco,” but I think I need to add a dash of Kit from A League of Their Own’s voice and a smattering of Indiana Jones’ clothing choices.

    1. germanrocketcat +62

      I don’t know about my gender, but my sexuality is now Gillian Anderson in a shirt and tie holy shit.

    2. queenofbithynia +110

      I love how her eyes look speakingly at the viewer as if to say, yes, I want to drop him, and you want me to drop him, but I can’t, for if I did I would be no gentleman.

    3. Hieropants +27

      no but for real Scully just raising her eyebrow against the world is exactly what I identify as

      1. hurdyburdy +26

        ugh her perfect hair and skin and eyes and amused scorn and competence and world-weary sighssss

        1. robotneedslove +11

          I’ve been re-watching recently, and we were a bit stoned, and I was like THIS SHOW IS JUST ENTIRELY ABOUT GILLIAN ANDERSON’S AND DAVID DUCHOVNY’S FACES. ALL THE ALIENS AND EVERYTHING ARE JUST SECONDARY. And I was totally into it.

    5. Nausikaa +28

      Amazing. I like how it doesn’t appear to be either Mulder and Scully or David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson; instead it looks like a very peeved Scully posing with David Duchovny.

  11. turanga_leela +20

    Wish I was Leela from Futurama or Agatha from Girl Genius, you know, kick-ass and smart.

    I am more like I am Anne Elliot from Persuasion, though.

    1. sulagna0 +6

      Well I don’t see why we can’t be both. Anne Elliot does get to travel on a ship, who’s to say she didn’t eventually pilot it?

    2. bocadelperro +2

      This is my answer! It doesn’t help that I share a first name with one of these characters, and I speak German. It’s very uncanny.

    3. mbculver +3

      Haha, this is true. Except I’m Tina Fey, especially in that Amex ad where she boasts about her “chacne” to the cashier, only with 50% fewer daughters and 100% fewer awards and designer evening dresses.

  13. nicoledieker +10

    Gillian Anderson’s character in Playing By Heart. (No-nonsense but likes wearing girly stuff, gets everything done on time but seems like she’s only giving you her outer surface, is extremely practical and deeply feminine in both the “stereotypical” and real sense, rationalizes her feelings constantly.) First time I ever watched a movie and thought “wait, they put me on the screen.”

    (ALSO I FEEL REALLY WEIRD USING THE WORD “FEMININE” AS IF IT’S SUPPOSED TO MEAN A DEFINED, TANGIBLE THING. BECAUSE IT DOESN’T.)

      1. nicoledieker +4

        If you haven’t seen Playing By Heart, it is a gem. Gillian Anderson and Jon Stewart are the two romantic leads. Also features Sean Connery as Gillian Anderson’s dad and Angelina Jolie as her little sister.

    3. velvt_tea +1

      WAT. I thought only me & my sister saw that movie!
      That’s when I began to love Gillian Anderson.
      Don’t be an anger ball.

    3. Loony_Lovegood +3

      I like how Anita is glaring up at the Predalien disapprovingly. Eyebrow game is v. strong.

  16. sulagna0 +19

    I said Mulan on Twitter which is my Ultimate BUT ALSO I want to add this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PCxTGZynpo

    It’s from the Indian movie “Sholay” and it’s this actress called Helen. It’s weird, because it’s a bellydancing scene but the actress is smiling and she is SERIOUSLY skilled (seriously, be careful trying that at home). Plus, no one touches her inappropriately and the male gaze isn’t…there? Because it’s a thriller, it’s focusing on the male characters in the scene because they are Narratively Important. But it’s one of the few instances I’ve seen a woman’s dancing shown as a non-sexual skill, an artistic performance rather than playing towards a male gaze.

    1. lawrenceevalyn +3

      I’m so glad I clicked that link! She was AMAZING, and clearly having a blast. I particularly enjoyed that it kind of looked like the very energetic singer was directing his silly faces at the gruff slouching fellow.

  17. Kirsten +27

    Mary from It’s a Wonderful Life, but only when she’s about to go close up the library in George’s nightmare Bedford Falls.

    1. DoubtfulGuest +16

      Why was the library portrayed as such a horrifying fate? George was a complete dick to her ever since they were kids. She was way too good for him, and way better off forsaking men in favor of books.

      1. Esther +13

        I could never understand why she was apparently short-sighted in the evil timeline but not in the normal timeline.

        1. LeastBittern +14

          Tooo much book larnin’. Not enough magic augmentation of vision through maternal eyes in back of her head.

  18. megmuoio +48

    My gender expression is Hillary Clinton’s pantsuits. (If I’m feeling badass, it’s that picture of Hillary on the plane that became the Texts from Hillary meme.)

    1. rhymeswitheight +18

      I think I am: Olive while she’s eating ice cream, the brother when he dances at the end, and the mom when she angrily eats a Popsicle.

  20. deleted1892326 +38

    Aspiration: Bang Bang from The Brothers Bloom
    Bang Bang

    Actual: Lane Kim from Gilmore Girls
    Lane Kim

    1. sulagna0 +5

      Both amaaaaazing. I loved Bang Bang I wish there had been a sequel to that movie just for her.

  23. threatqualitypress +10

    I don’t think there’s anything in culture now which represents my best and truest self (the idea of my best and truest self seems more and more like water as days go by, and the harder I try to grab it, the more easily it slips away), but for a long time the ideal notion of masculinity that I aspired to was Martin Riggs from Lethal Weapon, if you want a pretty good example of how patriarchy can be deeply damaging for men as well as women.

  24. queenofbithynia +37

    now I can’t say the White Witch when she comes through to England and starts dominating Uncle Andrew and tearing up lampposts with her bare muscley arms without sounding like I’m copying you, can I.

    Ripley in Aliens one, two and parts of four on the inside, Willow in her various nightmare dream sequences on the outside. worst of all possible worlds. fear of exposure to public ridicule is not a gender expression, but then, what is. what is. or should I say, what isn’t, with kids these days.

  25. testingwithfire +2

    OK, how are you folks pasting images into the comments box? Obviously I am not getting something fundamental. I’m doing this from a regular Windows desktop, no fancy mobile gewgaws.

    1. keristars +1

      I just find publicly hosted image (usually via Google Image Search) – if it’s on Photobucket or hosted at blogspot, I paste the link code inside < img src=”PASTED STUFF HERE” > and voilà.

      You may need to upload images to tumblr or tinypic or flickr wherever first, if it’s not publicly hosted. It’s not polite to copy from a private site.

      (Edited this comment multiple times to try to get the proper code to show up for you. My fingers are crossed that this time it does.)

    3. safvn +2

      Not a problem! We’re using HTML. You just type in < img src=”URL” > with the URL of your image where it says URL and taking away the spaces between < and i in the beginning and ” and > at the end.

      ETA – darn it, it showed up as an image, edited to make this more clear. It’s probably still not clear…?

  26. PomoFrannyGlass +16

    performative/ideal identity = Lauren Bacall in To Have and Have Not + James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause
    ACTUAL identity = Jimmy Stewart’s girl Friday in Vertigo + Calamity Jane as portrayed on Deadwood + Gidget’s jealous, obviously queer bestie in the original film
    which is to say, my wry jaded commentary and obnoxious drunken bluster are not convincing anyone that I don’t have a tender loyal heart yearning for the love of a good man, and I would trade places/sleep with any of my women friends if given half a chance

    1. testingwithfire +8

      Oh, God, Barbara Bel Geddes as the long-suffering Midge in “Vertigo”: she of the cantilevered bra illustrations.

  27. Cissle +8

    Kim Deal and RuPaul – I couldn’t decide which one I would rather be, so I chose both, basically. Gender as performance! I wouldn’t be able to verbalize that for many years, but I clearly grasped the concept.

  28. laureleye +39

    ugh, reading the twitter thread reminded me of just how passionately I loved Contact when I was a kid. Why I haven’t I watched that movie in so many years? I think I let peer pressure shame me into being embarrassed about it. I gotta go rewatch it!

    So, probably Jodie Foster in Contact. Especially this image:

    In like 20 years though, I’m shooting for Diane Lockhart.

    2. haunting_of +3

      Contact started off a 20-year love for sci-fi for me. And now I need a white collared shirt.

  29. fakegreendress +24

    I am some combination of the ladies from The Bletchley Circle. I have also signed the Official Secrets Act as part of a past job (though I did not end up getting to learn any official secrets, which I’m still kinda bummed about). But I do own some pretty great coats and would much rather sneak off to solve elaborate mathematical puzzles than be a housewife.

  30. cosmia +22

    Maude Lebowski + Lisa Simpson, maybe? I’m sort of a cynical and disdainful know-it-all who likes sex and laughs at men who refer to their dick, or their rod, or their Johnson.

  31. AzuliaZebleaux +53

    Kaylee Frye in Firefly wearing a dress awkwardly and either sexing or talking about engines or both simultaneously.

    1. Rillquiet +30

      Whereas I’d be Zoe: If you’re going to get me in an outfit other than my unapologetically comfy functional one, it’ll be something slinky, and my sexual preference is People Who Are Good at Something.

      ETA: YUP.

  32. westernstudies +10

    OUISER BOUDREAUX.

    Or the love child of Blanche Devereaux and Dorothy Zbornak. (Femslash Friday???)

    1. testingwithfire +5

      This is probably closer to my actual gender expression these days than what I posted. CAFTANS FOREVER.

    2. blushingflower +6

      I hadn’t thought about it, but Dorothy was definitely the Golden Girl I most identified with. Smart and loud and brash but not necessarily “masculine” in any way.

  34. germanrocketcat +38

    This particular photo of Morrissey.

    Related: the yelp during “This Charming Man” and various parts of moan-singing.

    1. germanrocketcat +7

      I also have a lot of feelings regarding “How Soon Is Now” and “There is a Light That Never Goes Out” and how I will never not read them as queer texts regardless of whatever Morrissey’s actual life/experiences were.

      …In case anyone wants to talk about it.

      1. ilya oblomov +3

        Like half of the songs The Smiths ever recorded suggest queer readings so heavily I don’t see how it’s even debatable.

        1. germanrocketcat +1

          True, but Morrissey has historically been very contrarian about anything critics/interviewers want him to talk about

  37. merrite +27

    I said this on twitter already, but def the Slits:

    Mean and girly and kinda hairy and generally annoyed at you for looking at them. And occasionally covered in mud.

  38. thewildland +118

    “I’m not a woman or a man, I’m a two-fisted son-of-a-bitch who will punch your lights out and I love you.” – Neko Case

    9. roboticaquatic +8

      Neko is what I most aspire to in every way shape and form. I would leave my life behind in a second if I could move to her house to study how to live life under her tutelage, in exchange for like gardening and menial chores and all my money. But that is a very un-Neko thing to do, so, drat.

  39. blushingflower +9

    “The Lady is a Tramp”. Except for the “I’m a Cool Girl who just always got along better with guys than girls, you know?” element that it can have if you look at it the right way.

  40. cuminafterall +16

    Orlando by Virginia Woolf (of COURSE, because Orlando is the gender expression of every keen-feeling human) and also the disembodied brain in The Man Without a Brain, but less the actual character, more just the idea of a lady’s brain in a jar

  42. Nick's Mom +20

    Fall into my time warp …Rosalind Russell (who was just as cunning as Cary Grant ) in “His Gal Friday ” or maybe her, decades later, as “Auntie Mame.”

  43. bird_internet +55

    The face I’d like to present to the world is something like Peggy Olsen standing triumphant in a pantsuit, but deep down inside I’m Mr. Bean, fumbling with a suitcase for all eternity.

  44. themnemosyne +38

    This has been my gender identity ever since it was suggested to me by a fellow Toastie a few months ago.

  45. annacperl +22

    O GOODNESS. Over the years: evil sorceresses in fairy tales, Meg from Wrinkle in Time, Anastasia Krupnik, Turtle from The Westing Game, Witch Baby, Nancy from The Craft, Liz Lemon…but somehow also Jarvis Cocker, the male leads from Velvet Goldmine, and Dean Winchester?

    No wonder I’m confused.

    1. beatrizcentury +4

      lemme know if you need a candida doyle. (also thank you so much for reminding me of The Westing Game)

  46. helvetica547 +3

    Susan from Doris Lessing’s To Room Nineteen. I am not a married well-off woman but her desire to have a place just for herself is something very close to my heart.
    Also, Amy Poehler’s Hillary Clinton.

  48. kiwano +8

    Ranma 1/2, Loki in Chapter 42 of the Prose Edda, David Bowie as Ziggy Stardust, Eddie Izzard in Dress to Kill. I’ll add more if they cross my mind; this i taking *way* too long to think through 😛

  50. drladybusiness +13

    Repeating what I said on Twitter: Björk, “Bachelorette” –> I’m a fountain of blood in the shape of a girl

  52. YoungLeafedJune +45

    Jessica Fletcher. Sort of asexual in an old lady way (vests, practical haircut) with a feminine edge (giant earrings, occasional disconcertingly revealing evening gowns).

    1. tabwootwo +8

      JB may appear asexual but she is NOT. She’s just flying above. Dare to catch her eye and probably get murdered instead because you CAME TOO CLOSE.

      1. YoungLeafedJune +9

        Oh do I know it. Sexy Jessica (is she banging Seth? Amos? Various lotharios she meets along her way? All of them?) is a delight. Although ultimately I don’t think she gives much of a fuck about any of it and I kind of wonder if she isn’t mostly relieved that Frank is dead and that she can just do her own spinster thing now. I may be projecting.

        1. tabwootwo +3

          I totally get that reading as well. She is like “Phew, now I can do why own thing 24/7. My own thing happens to be badass outfits and solving crime.” She will still steal your man though- not like she can help it.

    1. elsajeni +19

      (The line between “depiction of truest and best self” and “depiction of truest and best fantasy girlfriend” is a little blurry in this case.)

        1. elsajeni +6

          I had a collage on the theme of Sailor Uranus: Do I Want To Do Her Or Be Her? pinned to the wall over my bed throughout most of middle school and high school. That drawing with the rapier and the car was in a place of honor, right smack in the middle.

  57. ppyajunebug +42

    So I’m basically Elinor Dashwood where I sit around trying to help other people figure out their lives and any time I think a guy likes me it turns out he has a bitchy fiancée who becomes my friend. Exocet it never turns out that he actually loves me in the end.

    But one day, I hope to be Leslie Knope complete with my own Ben Wyatt.

  59. Edie W +35

    As a cisgender person, I’ve never really articulated my gender expression, so this was interesting.

    Ideal: Veronica Mars (smart and tough, pretty girly)

    Actual: Tina Fey as the teacher in Mean Girls (still smart and tough and girly, but also super awkward)

  60. theskyrbeast +15

    Jadzia Dax, particularly when she’s getting drunk and playing tongo with a bunch of Ferengi businessmen in Quark’s.

  61. Toft +24

    You mean other than this?

    I’m not sure. I typed like three different responses into Twitter before deleting them all, which is how I do Twitter. First I picked Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, but I remembered that (a) I do not have the body of a god like Donny Osmund and (b) I don’t really dress super-colorfully anymore like I did in high school. Then I tried to think of what would go well with my current buttoned-up-shirt, rolled-up-sleeves sensibilities, and I picked Marshall Lee from Adventure Time, but then I remembered that (a) I am not that cool and (b) I am no Vampire King. So then I thought maybe I should pick noted political philosopher Michael Sandel, whose bright eyes and conspiratorial half-whisper are everything I aspire to be one day, but then I thought, “Wait, I want the ideal representation of my gender expression to be a video of a man delivering an hour-long lecture? This is troubling.” So… I don’t know.

    1. Fare +12

      You think anybody’s ever done slashfic called Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamboat?

      I bet somebody has.

    2. nicoledieker +9

      MOOMINS. I love the Moomins. I love how they are so flawed and that they love (and sometimes hate) each other anyway.

  63. MameDC +14

    Two pounds of Ms. Elizabeth Imbrie, as portrayed by Ruth Hussey in The Philadelphia Story, plus 3/4 cup of Katherine Hepburn in Adam’s Rib and just a dash of her in Pat and Mike. Topped with a sprinkle of Kady Heron in Mean Girls mixed with Elle Woods. Minus the dog.

    1. Nausikaa +5

      Yes yes Liz! I was just about to post that. She has been my wit/style inspiration for 2/3 of my life.

  64. citizenchristy +11

    On Twitter, I threw Batman: TAS Poison Ivy and the lady in Billy Joel’s “Stiletto” out there. But that’s not actually accurate. I would say it’s a balance between the exaggerated version of herself Carrie Brownstein plays on Portlandia and Toph on Avatar: The Last Airbender.

  68. whatisthisicanteven +35

    Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica. I already knew that being physically strong, competent, silly, maybe a little confused/broken, blunt, sarcastic, sexual-but-not-sexualized, beloved, complex, interested in dudes, and uninterested in bullshit was a perfectly awesome way to go about being a woman. The first time she appeared on my TV screen was a life-changing moment, because I’d never seen a character in movies or TV express so fully what it is to be a woman to me.

    1. RuncibleSpoon +15

      Also, reading Discworld books as a tweenager led me to hope I was a bit like Angua, worry I was more like Magrat and aspire to someday approach the greatness of Granny

      1. livia +6

        My husband is mildly alarmed by my stated ambition to be Granny Weatherwax when I grow up.

  70. dancedherdid +9

    I sort of identify as Anne Shirley ca Anne of Avonlea, with a dash of the Mary Gauthier song “Falling out of love” thrown in? That seems strange, but also true.

    1. robotneedslove +3

      I love both of those things, so I expect I would fall instantly in love with you.

  72. vpratt +11

    Some combination of Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman in Practical Magic- being very girly but also slightly sinister.

  73. karenjeannette +4

    i’m so glad i’m not alone in my intense identification with watts from some kind of wonderful.

    1. laylapalooza +11

      Also this:

      Doris Day as Calamity Jane.

      Janet McTeer as Petruchio in Taming of the Shrew.

      These are obviously aspirational.

  79. m98widow +17

    FemShep! Not because I’m super awesome and all the space dudes want to date me, but because I am clearly female bodied and identified and like to wear dresses but also don’t always know how to be feminine- much like FemShep sharing animation models with GuyShep causes her to occasionally lumber around and sit with her legs open while in said dress.

    And while I don’t necessarily identify with being a savior, i do also identify with getting drunk at all ports of call, getting propositioned by dudes I’m not interested while making a fool of myself in front of dudes I am interested in.

    1. apple_pi +4

      Ha, the only person I could really think of for myself was McKay, but only in fanfic, and with a dash of Hermione Granger thrown in. So glad you said femshep, made me brave enough to embrace my inner McKay.

      1. m98widow +3

        Paragon… out of guilt and pressure to be nice, not out of any real altruism on my part.

  80. betsymore +16

    In high school: Daria Morgendorffer

    What I aspire to now (sans a kid of my own, at least for the time being): Tami Taylor

  81. practical cat +14

    If I’m being honest, it’s probably Zooey Deschanel in anything (including her actual life because it’s all kind of the same). Or Mindy Kaling, same deal. Basically I am the “quirky” feminine lead in a FOX show full of dudes (or the quirky best friend in the rom com). I usually apologize for this even though it is both aspirational and self-consciously performative but I’m not really sorry.

    1. AOpp +3

      Ditto! For adult me, my first instinct was to say Jessica Day (I’m currently in grad school for education! I knit! I wear lots of cardigans!), but then I remembered the time that I realized the ideal adult woman persona that was in my head was Lorelai Gilmore. So a combination of those two, I’d say.

      For teenage me, I’d say a blend of all four Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants girls (the books, adamantly NOT the movies!).

  82. logicbutton +41

    CHAOTIC ANDROGYNY

    (…is what I would like to be but in reality it’s more a mix of Lawful Androgyny and Girly.)

    1. mollyculetheory +13

      I want to say a mix of androgyny/chaotic girly but the last (creepy app-manipulated) selfie I posted on tumblr is like exactly the human version of the ‘girly’ picture so…

    2. lady_bane +6

      I was going to think of something else to identify as, but I think Chaotic Androgyny fits the look I would like to go for.

    3. dancedherdid +4

      I am DEAD from wonderful! I’m a pretty solid chaotic girly, which I hadn’t considered before.

    4. Kirch +1

      Love it. I think my work persona would be lawful androgyny meets boyish androgyny, with a poorly executed and grudging attempt at the socially acceptable outward “girly” look. My home persona is boyish androgyny (and only my husband gets to see my emotional “girly” inside.)

    5. breakdownhat +1

      Growing up I was Twilight Sparkle, but the older I get, the more and more I am Rarity.

    1. queerwolves +1

      SWEET JESUS. Bring me some hot root beer to calm myself from this exceptional reference.

      1. deleted7410012 +1

        hint—the secret ingredient hops and croaks.

        it warms my heart that other toasties know and love the legacy of bentley saunders harrison matthews iii.

  92. undeadgoat +10

    what I tweeted was “Bo from Lost Girl” but I just wanted to clarify I mostly mean “sexually frustrated succubus” and also you can stir in a dash of Elise from Bachelor in Paradise which I ain’t intend to clarify for you at all

  93. guppytroutmermaid +9

    r u 4 real rn?

    For those who don’t recognize this on sight, it’s Patricia (Jean Seberg) in A Bout de Souffle/Breathless. My physical look is maybe the opposite of this style (and also I sometimes suspect that gamines were the original Manic Pixie Dream Girl – someone must have written about this, right?), but I appreciate and identify with the lean towards androgyny/the appropriation of traditionally ‘male’ things without sacrificing the feminine. Also, the side-eye in this shot.

  95. celery +6

    I would say Hermione, but I feel like I have never quite approached Hermione’s badassery. I also want to say Tony from The Wind City by Summer Wigmore (“The fact that Tony called her business Cheerful Dolphin Tours really says everything about her that you need to know”), but I am not nearly outgoing enough.

    So I think it’s probably mostly Willow from the early seasons of Buffy.

  98. mashanigel +20

    Cordelia Chase saying “What, I can’t have layers?” (would gif if I could. I can’t have image-editing right now. So I guess I can’t have layers.)

  99. Girl Named Jack +10

    60% Miss Marple, 40% Jen from the Dark Crystal. The proportion changes as I age – it used to be more like 20/80.

    Marple

    Jen

  100. eegghh +3

    Charlotte Gainsbourg- plus a few lbs and without singing.

    In my arts dreams:
    Yoko Ono, Frida, Helen Lundeberg and Kara Walker.

  103. BunnyBear +11

    In my dreams probably Aeryn from Farscape.

    In reality though? Gina from Brooklyn 99, especially the scene where they go back to her apartment and find an explosion of glittery jumpsuits.

  104. ArrogantEmu +9

    Oh man, now and forever Orual of “Till We Have Faces”.

    (No picture, really, because A: it’s a book, and B: she spends a good two thirds of it wearing a veil. Strong, ugly, tender, authoritative, aloof, a good and capable queen, and capable of passionate attachment not really susceptible to classification.)

    1. sorrycassandra +7

      Oh man, I don’t think I know anyone in real life who’s read that book. It’s so spiritually and emotionally jagged. I wish Lewis had done more of that.

      Also, Orual is amazing.

      1. lwillicombe +4

        Right? I need to read it again if for no reason than to finally put my finger on why the way her character ended up bothered me so much. So complex and rich, but so, so complicated.

    2. lwillicombe +7

      I related to that Orual way more than I wanted to. Definitely C.S. Lewis’ most underrated book.

    3. Toft +4

      Here’s an illustration from the book. Orual is on the left, but her face is hidden. I wish more people knew about Till We Have Faces. If Narnia is C.S. Lewis’s Lord of the Rings, then Till We Have Faces is his A Song of Ice and Fire. Actually, can we replace A Song of Ice and Fire with a giant, multiple-POV, seven-volume version of Till We Have Faces?

      1. Danielle B. +1

        Yes yes YES YES yes yes. I read his wife Joy helped him extensively with it, which to me explained why I felt like this book crawled under my skin, and speaking my very thoughts. Touches a deep deep vein, and yes, it is SO much better than any “oh look at how violent and taboo-breaking we can be” GoT. I can’t relate to that, but Orual lives inside me

    4. mbculver +2

      Hello, my people. I love Orual so much, and identify with her so much, but I fear I’m not half the leader/competent person she is.

      And yes, I wish more people knew about Till We Have Faces, because it is (IMHO) much better than GoT.

    1. laylapalooza +2

      Here is how: < img src=”your link here” >

      But take out the first and last space.

      Also: YES ALANNAAAAAAAA

  109. roboticaquatic +8

    Well, this is what I said on twitter

    but with some most contemplation I think I am a little

    and mostly

  110. yourbittergirl +11

    I’m a few years away from her magnificence, but I’ve been told I remind people of Dame Judi Dench

  111. sorrycassandra +36

    Only without the divinity degree, and maybe with a pinch of Bilbo Baggins added just for somethingness.

  112. Peig Sayers +22

    Draco during the last two films. Stark colour palette and general twitchy, morally-conflicted vibe. On my best days, my gender is the entire Malfoy mansion

  114. firsttimecaller +10

    Aspiration: Janelle Monae or Neko Case.

    Reality: Olive from Little Miss Sunshine. (Thanks to safvn for coming up with this first; I wouldn’t have thought of it on my own, but it’s perfect.)

    Also, this tumblr is great: http://genderoftheday.tumblr.com/. Recent genders of the day include CatDog, Batman, an underwater nun. Wait, did I find out about this tumblr from The Toast?

      1. theoddcomplaint +4

        RIGHT?!?

        that swimsuit strip scene in the beginning. MULTIPLE fat characters with different personalities. understated vulnerable baddie Gina Torres.

        I so badly wanted Huge to get a chance to really find its footing and to keep going in the bold and interesting directions it was going with its characters :((( but there are dreams that cannot beeeee…

  118. Ulla +13

    I have no connection whatsoever to J Crew but this girl in their 1995 catalogue: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nfXpitGk-38/UFxmhJ329CI…
    and also morrissey
    patti smith? nahh i’m just flattering myself
    for a long time i aspired to be johnny depp’s character in 21 jump street (the show, not the movie, obviously) and everyone thought i was a lesbian
    gender is complicated dude

    p.s. i know this is the toast but please don’t attack my grammar i’m too tired to press shift, also
    this is a poem
    so it doesn’t matter

  121. laurensherm +5

    Aspirationally, Katy Perry (in that I wish I could wear a costume every day and also want to dress/express myself like a teenage girl despite being way too old for that sort of nonsense).
    In reality (and also sort of aspirationally): Sookie Stackhouse + all four pretty little liars.

  123. Kirch +2

    Ideally: Atreyu (sp?) from the Neverending Story, Johnny Depp as Captain Jack, and Ani DiFranco. In reality? Lots of Indigo Girls songs, and Fat Schmidt/Elizabeth from New Girl. Good thing I’m ok with being me. 🙂

  124. Rochelle +3

    Aspirationally:

    I actually still think that if I work very hard and am very pure of spirit, I will somehow make it. So far, though, that’s gotten me from here:

    To pretty much here:

    That’s this week’s answer, anyway.

    1. Rochelle

      The messed up photobucket link is supposed to be Deb from Napoleon Dynamite, looking awkward on Napoleon’s front porch.

  131. thekatriarch +8

    I wasn’t really sure how to answer this at all because I guess I’ve just never really thought too much about it. But after some thought I think I’m some combination of

    Britta Perry

    Tina Belcher (of course)

    And, on my good days, there’s a little of both Audrey and Katharine Hepburn.

  132. Fare +2

    Beethoven (the dog in the movie, not the dead music man). And sometimes, the dad from Beethoven.
    : /

  133. deleted3602194 +6

    Merida from BRAVE, most of the time!

    Sometimes, when the florals of Natalie Dormer’s Margaery Tyrell combine with the black things of Natalie Dormer’s new MOCKINGJAY still.

  134. BlotsAndCreases

    Merida from BRAVE, most of the time!

    Sometimes, when the florals of Natalie Dormer's Margaery Tyrell combine with the black things of Natalie Dormer's new MOCKINGJAY still.

  135. bookwormV +16

    Lisa Simpson agonising about talking Malibu Stacy and the Lisa Lionheart doll. “‘When I get married, I’m keeping my own name!’ Hmm … maybe that should be ‘If I choose to get married’…”

  140. irenarowley +6

    I had to think about this for a little bit, but when it came to me I knew it was correct: True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle. (Someday I’ll figure out how to put an image into a post.)

  141. Sara +6

    My identity oscillates between Morpheus from The Sandman and Sailor Neptune. This question is the most fun ever.

  144. horsefacedbluestocking +16

    I’d like to be as cool as everyone else’s sexy androgyny people, but I am way too earnest/femme/Knopesque for that. If I tried going butch, I’d end up Leslie. Really I’m more of an Ann in style/gender presentation. Leslie in personality. Especially lame early seasons Leslie.

  145. Vera_Knoop +5

    Asked my wife for hers, and without hesitation, she replied “Dr. Prunesqualor!”
    The closest I can get to mine is Asami wearing Korra’s clothes but also Mako’s coat.

  147. LauraC +2

    The unlikely child of Captain Jack Sparrow and Joan Harris. Purely aspirational, but I’m getting there.

  149. thewordunheard +7

    My aspirational gender probably falls somewhere between Queen Eartha Kitt:

    and Olivia:

    and Kiki Smith’s Lilith:

  150. lauralizabethm +4

    IDEALLY, it would be Vera Burr from Bomb Girls. In particular, the second season when she got her groove back:

    This outfit/dance from the video for “Wings:”

    And the video for Avicii’s “Addicted to You” aka LESBIAN BONNIE&CLYDE BANK ROBBERS: <a href=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc9c12q3mrc” target=”_blank”>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc9c12q3mrc

  153. typewriterandgramophone +7

    I hope some day to mature into one of the dons from “Gaudy Night”, but right now I’m like Gladys Bingley: ” the Sweet Singer of Garbidge Mews, Fulham, a charming girl who looked like a penwiper.”

  156. Goomaly +6

    I am a) both of the Dashwood sisters, with Elinor ascendant, b) Donna Noble, and c) Zoidberg

  157. auntymaim +5

    If only I reach self actualization it’s gonna be a little bitta Latrice:

    Remember how she always took her shoes and dress off AS SOON AS POSSIBLE? Kill it for just as long as you gotta, then chill.

    and a little bitta Peggy Bundy:

  158. madgehowlet +5

    I am so, so sad I missed this yesterday because I was doing Actual Work and then driving for eleven million hours.

    I am (Audrey Horne + Sally Field as Gidget) divided by Maleficent, to the power of Dorothy Parker. And then wave Essence of Tom Mison as Ichabod Crane over the result.

    And, as I said above, I plan on aging into 2/3 Judi Dench as M, 1/3 Judi Dench as Queen Elizabeth.

  163. queerwolves +4

    My gender identity and performance is the Venn Triagram centered betwixt the following:

    –Joan of Arc (whether historical, Shaw, or Jean Seberg remains hotly contested)
    –Young Remus Lupin, somewhere along the lines of http://24.media.tumblr.com/d6772b412dd96561da2a76… but sweater-clad obviously (see below)
    –Both the recipes and young Henry Temperley, third from left in the first slideshow image, from this NYTimes Style piece from 2005. The moment I clapped eyes on it, at a tender age, was a revelation as to my course and destiny. http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/06/style/tmagazine…

    The astute reader may note some not insignificant overlap among these signifiers.

  164. donkeywork +2

    Harriet the Spy (as written, I never saw the movie). Tool belt, hoodie, notebooks, tomato sandwich, insistence on middle initial. Occasional egg creams for a treat. That is absolutely my sexual and gender presentation.

  165. Helen Damnation +2

    My identity is more formed by my autism than anything else, so there aren’t really any girls like me in the media. IDK, I identified pretty heavily with Cassie from Animorphs way back when.

  169. grumblyqueer +5

    I am so beyond late on this one, but Mulan, Hermione, and Belle all fused together into something resembling Franky, the glorious headfuck thing from Skins:

    With a little bit of this:

  173. katieuva +2

    One time when I went to get a haircut, I made an awkward collage of Ellen Degeneres and some boy from a Lands End catalogue. Other than that, the movie version of Idgie Threadgoode and Jody from “Gold Diggers: The Secret of Bear Mountain.”