Some Theories About the Musical Tastes of Harry Potter Characters

by Thomas Lawrence · December 3, 2014

Severus Snape

After his death they found hidden in his room at Hogwarts the complete discography of Depeche Mode and Nine Inch Nails, along with a “Pretty Hate Machine” poster. This surprised no one.

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Minerva McGonagall

It’s been rumored for decades that McGonagall is a lover of showtunes. The most commonly cited piece of evidence to this is the frequent singing of “Ladies that Lunch” and “Defying Gravity” that occurs at least once a week from the direction of her shower.
Theater Stritch Goodbye

Ron Weasley

Our redheaded boob has his father, Arthur, to thank for all of his musical inclinations. A proud Mugglephile, Arthur, has an extensive “Black Disk” collection, which he plays on a 1970’s era “Amplificator.” The sounds of classic rock filled the Weasley house from an early age. Rumor has it that Ron was conceived during a long Led Zeppelin filled marathon while the kids were out at a quidditch match. Jimi and the Stones played frequently as well. Though not as vocal in her appreciation as her husband, Molly truly enjoyed Janis Joplin and would often be heard singing “Me and Bobby McGee” in the shower.

Ron absorbed the Classic Rock love of his parents and took it with him to Hogwarts. When he first arrived, his extensive knowledge of classic rock and the various recording he’d “borrowed” from his father made him the envy of his fellow classmates. One night in particular he stunned his roommates by playing Led Zeppelin IV in its entirety one Friday night in the Gryffindor tower. Harry bought him candy for two full weeks after this incident in an attempt to repay Ron for literally changing his life.

However, while other people’s musical tastes changed over the years, Ron’s never did. He simply continued to listen to Zeppelin and the Stones. This caused him to be a little out of the loop musically compared to everyone else, but at this point in his life Ron was so used to this feeling he barely even noticed.

To this day, he listens to Zeppelin records while sipping whisky every Friday night after the quidditch match on the telly. Hermione has given up on changing his tastes.

Favorite Song: “Immigrant Song” – Led Zeppelin

Harry Potter

As you might expect from someone who endured a large amount of mental and physical abuse in his years prior to arriving Hogwarts, Harry didn’t listen to a lot of music. In fact, the first real rock record he ever heard was on the train ride to Hogwarts, where Ron was obnoxiously playing “Crazy Train” as loud as he could in his coach.

Harry emulated his first friend closely at the beginning when it comes to music. The same rotation of classic rock that spilled from Ron’s music players became his Bible. However, Harry being the adventurous rapscallion he is, quickly got bored hearing the same five records all the damn time.

After a few years he discovered the one true love in his life (sorry Ginny), Oasis. The words penned by Noel Gallagher seemed to be written just for him: “I’d like to be somebody else and not know where I’ve been / I’d like to build myself a house out of plasticine” “Take me to the place where you go / Where nobody knows if it’s night or day”. He would sing these songs all day and night. It has been hypothesized by many wizard scholars that Harry’s enjoyment of Oasis is what first propelled the band into superstardom in the first place. It is also a well know fact that Oasis was the soundtrack of his particularly angsty years. 

These days he tries to stay interested in newer music, but often finds himself completely confused by the buzzes and wub-wubs. The last album he completely enjoyed was Adele’s “21”. 

Favorite Song: Don’t Look Back in Anger – Oasis

Hermione Weasley (née Granger)

Having grown up in the Muggle world, Hermione grew up on the sounds of The Beatles. At an early age she would prance around the house singing to “Yellow Submarine” at the top of her lungs, much to the chagrin of her parents.

Once leaving for Hogwarts however, Hermione found herself enamored by all things wizardry including megasmash witchband Spellbound. Posters of the group (especially those of the de facto leader, the brunette Cassandra) filled her dormitory for a few years. 

After some time, Hermione began to listen to Muggle music again (probably thanks to Ron’s influence). Always relating to the sounds of empowered, forceful women, Hermione began listening to Liz Phair, The Breeders and Bikini Kill almost nonstop. During the time when Ron was dating Lavender Brown, Hermione found herself listening to “Exile in Guyville” almost nonstop.

Now she is married to Ron (no kids) and listens to a lot of Joanna Newsom and Joni Mitchell. Her last public appearance was at a Kate Bush concert.

Favorite Song: 6’ 1” – Liz Phair

 

Draco Malfoy

During his first year’s Winter Talent Show, Draco, along with his cronies, Crabbe and Goyle, performed a decidedly bad version of “Ice, Ice, Baby” that was applauded regardless.

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Luna Lovegood

One cold February morning her fourth year, Luna woke up the entire school by meditating to the dulcet sounds of the Beatles “White Album” and John Cage’s “Concerto for Chamber Orchestra and Prepared Piano” at the same time and at full blast while meditating in the courtyard.

Neville Longbottom

During the reception after his wedding to Luna, (an event that took much longer to happen then everyone was expecting) Neville somehow convinced her to sing “Promiscuous” by Timbaland and Nelly Furtado with him. They were adorable.

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Albus Dumbledore

Some years after his death, the Ministry of Magic found an expansive, highly eclectic record collection off the coast of Madagascar that purported to be the property of Albus Dumbledore. There was also an old tome that detailed very precise instructions to whom each of the well over 100,000 records should go to, with no person getting more than one record. After realizing that there was no discernable organizing system, The Ministry established a workforce to ensure that Dumbledore’s final wishes were granted. This is commonly referred to as The Great “Record”-ing by certain pun loving wizards.

*

P.S. – Apparently it’s not canon that Luna and Neville got married. I have ignored this because fuck J.K. Rowling for doing this to me. Luna + Neville 4EVA.

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150 Comments

  1. houblonchouffe +34

    Soooo Oasis is definitely A Thing in our house and we definitely spent $70 on reissued vinyl editions of Definitely Maybe and What’s the Story over the weekend, and Wonderwall is probably going to be our wedding song, and I suppose this is all par for the course when you’re marrying a guy from Yorkshire who came of age in the mid-1990s. DON’T LAUGH OKAY

    1. Es_Petal +4

      My Yorkshireman is a slightly older vintage – he was 40 this year – but he is awfully Oasisy as well.

        1. Es_Petal +3

          Hah! Neville is my second favourite Yorkshireman, the other half doesn’t mind my crush since he’s a fellow Northerner.

  3. aravisthequeen +173

    You can’t tell me Snape didn’t listen to his fair share of Morissey or the Smiths. I envision him lying with his face on his desk, slumped forward, staring blankly at a pencil.

      1. ramina +18

        THIS IS THE FIRST SONG FOR YOUR MIXTAPE
        AND IT’S SHORT JUST LIKE YOUR TEMPER

        Oh, yeah. Totally. Sorry Jesse Lacey, you’re getting no credit for that one.

        1. sausagedog +29

          “I’m sick of your tattoos
          and the way you don’t apPRECIATE brand NEW
          ….
          or ME”
          – Severus Snape, age 17

          1. ramina +24

            True story: when I was a senior in high school I bought a hot pink t-shirt from Michaels’ and wrote in crude sharpie “I appreciate Brand New” because I didn’t have enough money to buy the actual Brand New shirt I wanted (the one that said Brand New Wants You Alive As Much As You Want Them Dead but only had the words BRAND NEW WANTS YOU DEAD highlighted)

            maybe I was a dirtbag at heart??

          3. miprisci +12

            I had a Brand New t-shirt that said “Mics are for singing, not swinging” which was a dig at Taking Back Sunday, back when their little emo rivalry was a thing I invested energy into caring about.

    2. winterbymorning +86

      Never Had No One Ever was probably written BY Snape.

      I’M ALONE
      AND I’M OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE
      I HATE TO INTRUDE
      SO I’LL JUST STAND HERE AND WATCH THE DARK LORD MURDER YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND

    3. meetapossum +18

      I imagine he had a deep and abiding love for the Ataris. Scream-singing “Your Boyfriend Sucks.”

    4. Frumiosa +49

      Also he probably had “Creep” on a permanent loop during the height of his Lily Potter pining.

    5. tragicallyludicrous +7

      I was going to say I’m not sure Snape is really cool enough to listen to the Smiths, but Morrissey is also kind of racist, so it fits.

    6. thelilybees +7

      Also apparently JKR is a big Smiths person? And after I heard that, every single time I’ve listened to “Paint a Vulgar Picture”, instead of hearing:
      “…you’re just the same as I am…”
      I hear:
      “…you’re just as sane as I am…”
      I will never be convinced that Luna saying that was not a subconscious thing on JKR’s part.

  4. sausagedog +101

    If Ron inherited his parents’ love of classic rock, then I think Bill went full prog after leaving the house, and Percy mired himself in the terrible sounds of “adult alternative.” Ginny and Charlie bond over increasingly unlistenable metal and hardcore.

      1. aravisthequeen +60

        Percy is that guy who listens to Muzak in an elevator and goes “You know, this is a great beat!”

        1. citizenchristy +28

          In an interview I saw and/or read (can’t recall), when JK Rowling was explaining all the post-series marriages, she got to George and Angelina Johnson and basically admitted that it wasn’t the healthiest relationship, given that Angelina was Fred’s girlfriend. It cut deep.

  5. citizenchristy +76

    I always envisioned Harry listening to records Sirius left behind in Grimmauld Place. (As you may recall, Sirius was fixated on Muggle culture because it bothered his horrible family. This extended to non-moving posters of girls in bikinis in his childhood bedroom. Actual canon!) So in my head, Harry’s really into the Beatles, David Bowie, and Bob Dylan.

    Also, in reply to the PS: Luna and Neville were meant to be. Accept no substitutes (I’m looking at you, Hannah Abbott).

      1. LeastBittern +39

        This seems reasonable to me, as Luna is a perfect choice for the high honor of spinsterhood.

        1. Unreadaethel +43

          See, I always see Neville and Luna as sometimes lovers, who meet in foreign places while they’re both on research trips (her in xenobiology, him in botany), and have days and days of crazy, furniture-breaking sex before parting to go back to their respective lives.

          Neville’s students think he’s outrageously boring. This amuses him.

    3. Peig Sayers +30

      Personally I imagined Sirius of more a long-haired heavy metal sort of guy (Black Sabbath etc). In my late 70s Hogwarts AU, Remus was a Pink Floyd superfan, Bellatrix was investigating the post-punk scene, and Narcissa and Lucius were glam disco freaqs who shared each others’ clothes

        1. Peig Sayers +6

          In one version, the Marauders were all girls (James wore her hair in a sporty ponytail, Peter’s favourite band was Slade, Sirius wore many velvet flares, though I suppose that’s canon). Lucius and Narcissa helped each other dye their hair that particular white blonde, Lucius often wore a zebra print shirt with shiny green disco pants. I thought too much about this AU and now I must stop

    5. Ethylbenzene +5

      And totally never understood why people were so eye-rolling about calling the album “Unrepentant Geraldines.”

  7. aravisthequeen +65

    I always envisioned Luna as more of a Kate Bush person myself, or possibly Loreena McKennit.

      1. tinypaperme +34

        Then they made out a little, just as an experiment. Luna remembers the experience and smiles fondly; Hermione remembers the experience and adds a little more cyanide to Ron’s dinner.

    3. freshwaterpearl +11

      Sure, but Luna’s still got some surprises up her sleeve, you know? I bet Loreena McKennit is her comfort music but she’s not going to stop there. Luna’s all about discovering exciting and interesting things, whether or not they properly exist.

  9. jennycieplak +14

    NEVILLE AND LUNA 4-EVAR! Also, yeah, Hermione definitely listens to Liz Phair (the last one she bought was WhiteChocolateSpaceEgg, though).

      1. jennycieplak +2

        Oh no, I meant that WhiteChocolateSpaceEgg was her last album before she went kind of “pop”… I love that album myself.

  10. Sarah +99

    This is amazing!

    Rubeus Hagrid, of course, was known for his love of Norwegian Death Metal and also traditional Celtic music!

    Meanwhile, Remus Lupin was tired of hearing “Werewolves in London,” especially when he himself was in London.

    1. Sarah +17

      Also! Horace Slughorn will be happy to tell you about how he knew The Weird Sisters when they were at Hogwarts, and how he gets free tickets to their shows. :p

    2. thelilybees +3

      See, I think he jams to it. And makes an especial effort to get to SoHo when it’s raining.

  11. Hththe1st +28

    Okay, Universe, it is time to STOP making me identify with Severus Snape. Point fucking taken!

    1. LeastBittern +8

      It’s OK, it’s OK, if you refrain from shouting slurs at your best friend and work hard on your temper, your life could be pretty damn good.

      1. sansdromeda +19

        and learning to take “no” for an answer and working on the ability to move on from rejection. That is also good.

        1. LeastBittern +19

          And look at the really excellent potions research you did! You’re so good at working hard! And while you’re not greeeaaat at morals, that means you’re ultimately better than Dumbledore and his “sacrifice the abused child” plan. You have insight he doesn’t.

          1. sansdromeda +24

            Well-Adjusted Snape:
            -Does not pine endlessly over Lily Evans
            -Does amazing Potions research
            -Becomes one of the preeminent potions chemists in Europe
            -Is maybe still a bit morally gray, but focuses that into becoming the head of magical research in the Ministry of Magic
            -Could probably still use a shower or two

  12. Hththe1st +38

    I love the way that the formatting makes it look like the picture of Elaine Stritch is captioned “Ron Weasley.” I love it mainly because that’s exactly the way I picture the inside of Ron’s brain, somehow.

  13. WorkedAtFredericks +23

    ARE YOU NUTS?
    Luna Lovegood TOTALLY listens to Kate Bush, Enya, and Yes.

    Also, Severus Snape’s favorite song is Creep by Radiohead, but he’s big on Pink Floyd when he’s feeling nostalgic.

    This is the BEST version of Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song because kittens. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApxnAr6pRt0

  14. Chance Hale +58

    Over/under on how many of those hundred thousand Dumblediscs were Grateful Dead bootlegs: 2,000

  15. paddlepickle +29

    Ehhhh I’m glad Neville and Luna aren’t together. It was already a little too neat with everyone marrying the person they met at Hogwarts, and putting the two oddballs-who-get-made-fun-of kids together would be a little pat. I’d prefer to see the eccentric married to the less eccentric.

    1. +15

      In my world, Ron and Hermione aren’t together, leaving room for Neville and Luna. (I am indifferent to Harry and Ginny ending up together.)

      1. paddlepickle +22

        Aww, I’m pro Ron and Hermione. I think Ron gets an unnecessarily bad rap, overall. But I mean, if I’m gonna project weddings that weren’t in the books, they’re gonna be queer. Luna and Hannah Abbot would make a nice match, for instance.

        1. +11

          I don’t really mind Ron. I don’t think Ron + Hermione is a good pairing.

          The problem with Luna + Hannah Abbott is that we know almost nothing about her, so it’s just Luna + any woman whose name we have heard before — which is fine, but a bit uninteresting. I have read great Luna + Hermione fanfic, so I’d probably go there.

        2. tragicallyludicrous +24

          I like Ron and Hermione too! I always think of the XTC song Mayor of Simpleton, which probably isn’t all that fair on Ron, but it’s kind of the general sentiment. Like, Hermione is pretty high-strung and completely type-A and competitive, someone just as smart and driven as she was would eventually drive her crazy. Someone a lot calmer – like Ron – is much better. I can imagine her going out and saving/running the Wizarding world and coming home to Ron who’s made dinner and has a glass of wine and makes her laugh, and I like that.

          1. KET +17

            I love Ron and Hermione, because my husband and I sort of are them. Women who are ambitious and very intilligent often make potential male partners uncomfortable (at least in their 20s). Ron is the kind of guy who doesn’t really care about gender-based pressure (he’s had enough challenges with all the siblings).

            The Rons of the world point to their Hermiones and say “This woman is smarter than I am by a lot, and it’s sexy as hell.”

            Her loving him is his proudest achievement, and his loving her is her constant comfort.

  16. fictitious +80

    Hermione definitely kept her maiden name. If there’s Rowling-spawned evidence to the contrary, I deny it vehemently, nonetheless.

    2. wordnerdy +83

      The Rowling-penned Rita Skeeter bits on Pottermore confirm this! She definitely kept her name in canon!

    4. Zueignung +4

      She and Ron also had children, but the name thing is definitely the more egregious deviation from canon!

    2. roboticaquatic +24

      “This isn’t so ba- oh, oh, no.”

      btw Draco would totally have recorded something similar, and even though the one girl he played it to laughed uncontrollably, he would tell people about it years later, saying “it’s too bad the one copy of it burned in that fire that almost killed me.”

  19. jlper +48

    The only, ONLY flaw in this list is that you’ve listed her as Hermione Weasley instead of Hermione Granger.

  21. allofthewhine +15

    I don’t know about anyone else, but this article taught me the correct lyrics for Don’t Look Back in Anger, which I have apparently been singing incorrectly for the last, oh almost 20 years now.

    1. LeastBittern +16

      It’s cool, I recently discovered that the really cool and weird song about wombats deciding whether to bang or fight, given how scarce denning and food resources are – an amazing song, just alien and fantastic – yeah, it’s “Won’t Back Down” not “Wombat Den”.

  22. tclawren +19

    You are all wonderful! Thanks for reading and commenting.

    Addendum:

    Snape’s tastes are electronically skewed. This has been theorized by some to be connected to a secret longing to be a muggle, but none of this has been sufficiently substantiated to be accepted by the wizardering community as a whole. If he was more inclined to listen to enjoy non-electronic based music, it is very likely he would have loved The Smiths. He probably would have found Brand New too young and whiny for his tastes, despite the author’s love of the band.

    Luna listens to an extremely large breadth of music. To sufficiently sum up her tastes would require more room than I have available here.

  23. friendofdaja +90

    I picture Fred and George (in happier times) getting bored of their dad’s music, then discovering obnoxious novelty bands like Electric Six and Ween and loving them. They probably snuck speakers into Percy’s room and blasted “Gay Bar” at 4 in the morning on holidays just for laughs.

      1. tinypaperme +26

        Definitely TMBG. They are both perfect at imitating the narration to “The Sun Is a Mass of Incandescent Gas.”

    4. dianabhurlburt +9

      They performed “Bite Me” at Bill and Fleur’s wedding until someone (Molly) Stupefied them.

  24. paddlepickle +16

    Oh I dunno, I picked Hannah because she seems like a sweet Hufflepuff girl who would probably be open-minded about Luna’s quirks and could use someone a little eccentric to bring her out of her shell. My first thought was Cho because she could also use someone to spice her up, but Cho is too boring to deserve Luna.

    1. +13

      It isn’t Cho’s fault that JKR was such a Harry/Ginny shipper that she wrote Cho as intensely boring. Cho has depths.

      1. paddlepickle +6

        Our differences may be irreconcilable. You know who would be great though? Neville and Seamus.

        1. +17

          Excuse me, Seamus belongs with Dean.

          (Also, I don’t actually think Cho/Luna is a good pairing, I just don’t think Cho is boring.)

          1. paddlepickle +9

            I’d kinda prefer a straight/gay best friendship than a romantic relationship between those two. But I might be particularly invested because I once wrote an emo wizard rock song called Dean Thomas’ Lament about Ginny dumping him (not that he couldn’t be bi, but I just want him to pine after her forever and nobody cares because everyone loves Harry).

          2. tinypaperme +10

            Frustrated, he moved to America and went to law school, where he fell in with a rather…interesting lot. He strongly suspects his Crim Law 101 professor of being a witch.

  26. sansdromeda +10

    I like all of this, but there is one VERY IMPORTANT question: When/how does Harry develop his fondness for fast songs with faster lyrics (See: Daniel Radcliffe’s performance of patter songs, The Elements Song and that one rap song that I forget the name of)?

    1. Femaelstrom +9

      My vote is he practiced them while trying to sing little Remus (I have rejected his children’s canon names) to sleep. Ginny was less than thrilled to walk in and find him singing Blackalicious’ Alphabet Aerobics to their son, but after a while it became the only thing that could calm him down.

      1. tinypaperme +3

        Good thing Ginny never heard him singing Baby Got Back to little Remus. She’d have his head – both of them – for that.

  29. joycemillman +28

    I refer you to page 57 of my book “The Great Snape Debate” (Borders/BenBella 2007), an “Is Snape Friend or Foe?” speculation written between HBP and DH. (“A Masterpiece!,” said no one.) Here you will find the contents of one black iPod found in the men’s underwear department of Dark Marks and Spencer, believed to belong to a certain Potions Master. The list is too long to reprint here, but it starts with “I Put a Spell on You” by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, includes “Pictures of Lily” by the Who, “Cruel to Be Kind” by Nick Lowe, and winds up with a quadruple helping of self-loathing and sads courtesy of “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails, “Creep” by Radiohead, “Loser” by Beck and “The Best of the Smiths, Volume 1”. Oh, Snape was most certainly a Morrissey fan.

  31. gavinbyrnes +30

    Ernie MacMillan checks every CD he buys (and he still buys CDs) for parental warning labels and thought he was edgy when he bought a Vampire Weekend album.

  32. JGlo +13

    Thank god for this site. I needed this this afternoon.

    Tonks loves The Runaways and Sonic Youth.

  34. CordeliaFitz +6

    Harry’s reaction to Led Zeppelin IV is the only appropriate reaction to Led Zeppelin IV.

  35. wakatie +14

    I’m not sure if these theories fit in with the Ronbledore timeline (which is basically canon..). thoughts?

  38. Unreadaethel +2

    I’m always excited when I find another Luna/Neville shipper. I imagine them taking research trips together to exotic locales.

  39. captainbartlet +18

    MInerva McGonagall does not sing in the shower. Minerva McGonagall does not listen to Broadway show tunes. Minerva McGonagall gave up on music a long time ago after being woken in the night too many times from the parties in Gryffindor tower where Sirius insisted on blasting whatever heavy metal he was into at the time. Before that, Minerva McGonagall occasionally pretended she didn’t like the big band hits of her youth so that she could seem cooler. Now, Minerva McGonagall reads books quietly in her room, and sometimes thinks about finding someone to drink her whiskey with.
    God, don’t you fools know anything? Go reread your fanfiction.

  41. froder +10

    Sorry, Potter would be a Blur kid, not Oasis. And no, I am not nursing tribal rivalries from the mid-90s, how very dare you?

  43. thelilybees +3

    There is no Remus Lupin on this list. This should be amended immediately. I never believed that he was into those weird records they put on the POA movie. He’s got impeccable taste. I’m just not sure what it is.

  48. Rich

    This is awesome! What about Fred and George? Think they would be into punk and hard rock. Born to be Wild would be an obvious favourite of theirs.

  49. Pope Lizbet +1

    Neville Longbottom listens to the Mountain Goats and sings “The Best Ever Death Metal Band Out of Denton” with his fists curled so tight his nails cut into his hands, because Neville is amazing.