Previously: The comment section on every recipe blog.
It sounds like you’re wearing the wrong bra size.
Did you know that 400% of American women are wearing the wrong bra size?
Most women don’t even realize that they’re wearing the wrong bra size.
If your breasts have leapt off of your torso, you’re probably not wearing the right bra size.
You should hand-wash your bras after every single use. If you wear the same bra two days in a row, most of what you think of as the bra’s fabric has actually been replaced by dead skin cells, and you’re disgusting.
Um, I only own three bras and I bought them all ten years ago and I’ve never washed them, because boobs don’t sweat.
YOU NEVER PUT A BRA IN THE DRYER, IT WARPS!
Even the best bras can stretch and warp over time. A bra that used to be the right size might not be after a few weeks. If you don’t replace your bras every six months, you’re probably wearing the wrong bra size.
You need to go down a band size and up a cup size.
No, you need to go up a band size and down a cup size.
No, you need to switch to using the middle hook and adjust your straps while reversing your band and cup size.
There’s one perfect bra. It’s in a cave, and it belongs to a woman named Femputer. I saw her once. She looked incredible. She will never let me have it.
Have you thought about getting fitted to see what bra size you really are? You’re probably wearing the wrong bra size.
Has anyone considered that maybe bras are just uncomfortable?
The right size bra is never uncomfortable. If you can find the right bra for your body, you’ll never experience pain or suffering for the rest of your life. You’ll die painlessly in your sleep, with your perfect, right-sized bra.
Wearing the wrong bra size is probably why you can’t get a promotion at work. Only women who wear the right bra sizes get corner offices.
I never wear a bra, and I’m the President of God, so much for your theory.
If you’re not willing to spend $85 on a bra, you’ll never find one that fits. The lettered-cup sizing is a lie and a myth designed to keep women distracted from the real issues. There’s a better way to tell what size bra you should wear, but I can’t tell you what it is.
Personally, I always have trouble finding bras that both look good, and adequately support both the breasts themselves and their transition into man killing machine guns. Please advise.
For a nominal fee, certain department stores will turn any bra into a nursing bra! I imagine it would be a fairly similar process for gun-boobs.
I’m picturing the cashier at Nordstrom just pulling out a pair of scissors and cutting a hole in the bra over the nipple.
That’s probably not how they do it.
Yeah, you’d think they’d have to at least add some kind of cooling system.
I think you’re wearing the wrong size machine guns.
If I’m gonna take advice on chest-mounted armaments, it’s definitely going to be from someone named blunderbusst.
*deep bow*
(followed by a lot of giggles)
“I used to be a 32A, and then when I had kids, they went up to a G cup and never came back down!”
noooooooooooooooooooo…
Oh my word, this is my least favorite. It gave me and my G cups nightmares while I was pregnant. (And for the record, after 2 pregnancies and 2 years of nursing, my G cups are now DDs with decent, age appropriate perkiness, so take that peanut gallery.)
You give me hope. Thank you.
Love,
34G who will hopefully someday have children and not suffocate on her own boobs
I’m hoping this happens to me with my next pregnancy! Thank you!
I’m halfway through this pregnancy and I’ve gone from a C cup to somewhere around E? F? I just know that the DD bras I bought last month don’t fit ‘right’ any more. If I have to buy a bra every month until this baby hatches I’m going to be SO PISSED OFF.
I wish I’d gone to nursing bras while still pregnant – very comfy and stretchy. WIl last two months instead of one! You probably won’t be able to use it for actual nursing, because they’ll get even bigger, but whatever.
Also you may be able to wear your pregnancy bras on the way back down the other side. So at least that’s something.
I never intend to have babies, but the idea of anyone in this world having to buy a new bra every month is making me sad for you.
I’m sure they’ll slow down and stop, for all I know they’ll stop here. It’s just pisses me off and it’s one of the reasons I totally support everyone who doesn’t want to reproduce.
sadly for me, this was approximately true, except they forgot to add the part where after they stay nice G’s for a while, they do eventually deflate back to sad sad pancakes, and that’s when you start fantasizing about a boob job.
Sometimes I tuck mine right into my pants to horrify Mr. LF. I mean, I have to bend down a bit, but still…
You are a delight. Can we be friends?
Awww <blush> sure!
That is spectacular. I applaud you.
YES. I love finding new ways to horrify men with the female body!
It also was kind of weird to have exactly the opposite experience? My boobs are objectively the same after having had a baby and nursed for 2 years. There was a couple of weeks where they got a little bigger, but…I was kinda hoping for SOMETHING?
Mine grew into a decent-sized rack during pregnancy and breastfeeding, but then shrank to smaller and saggier than before. Either my daughter just took away their lifeforce as a baby, or I’m suffering from some sort of boob-curse.
My mom stayed a B cup through two pregnancies and nursing each kid for a year. It isn’t just you.
For me it was pre-nursing a 32 A, during pregnancy and nursing a 34-B-C, and after nursing a 32 AA.
:-/ However, I actually think my nips are more symmetrical and shapely post-nursing. I guess they got sucked straight? TMI?
Hahaha, I guess mine are, too?
I was really hoping that would happen for me. I might have another just to try again. Is that cheaper than a boob job?? Someone do the math for me. I can’t do it now because I need to go frown at my breasts for a while, then feel guilty and apologize to them, and then frown on the inside and hope they don’t notice.
THIS WAS ALSO MY EXPERIENCE. And two years later I am still clearly quite resentful.
Me too! Then I got fatter in my late twenties and they grew to a D, which almost gave me the vapours in the bra shop.
I’m actually living this nightmare right now. I mean, I’ve basically been around a 36H my whole adult life, but they have grown even larger with pregnancy and newborn..
The worst part is, my whole adult life people have been teasing me about what my breasts will do when pregnant, and now that day is here and I am in paaain.
I was 12 when my youngest brother was born and I have a vivid memory of doing laundry, and pulling bras out to hang to dry (I was already a 34C at 12) and looking at the tags on my mom’s nursing bras and thinking “I didn’t know they came in a J?!?!?”
I am now a 36G/H.
This was my experience too! Except my mom and all my family have, at most, respectable C cups (with the exception of my aunt who got a boob job and has enormous, perky boobs now. Go Aunt Laura!). I was wearing my mom’s bras when I was 13, and now sit at a 28F. Nobody in my family knew how important proper support is for big boobs, so I ended up with saggy, tubular granny boobs at 18. Can’t wait to get these stupid floppy things chopped off.
Ha, my mum has always been very enthusiasticic about good bras and proper support, and my (30H-ish) breasts are still saggy and tubular, despite the bras. There is no escape.
My 38-DDD boobs have just started to really sag, at 30. Like, noticeably different in the last year. No kids involved. I kind of feel guilty because maybe it’s from only wearing wire free bras (I guess I have wideset boobs or something but no matter what size I try the wires poke me). But then I realised that I actually don’t give a shit and my wirefree bras make my boobs looks AWESOME while clothed and my boobs still feel nice to touch so… what exactly is the problem here?
Patriarchy, is what.
Ha, I am 25 and mine have been incredibly saggy at least since I hit my teens (was wearing a bra or crop top from about the age of 9, DD by 13, H now). I always vaguely assumed non-sagging boobs were just a widely-accepted lie (like comfortable high heels).
I have always been kind of startled, tbh, by how perky mine were. Admittedly I was a C cup until my 20s but I’ve been a D cup for something like a decade and I quite often took off my bra and was like ??? pointing up??? Honestly my reaction now was more like ‘oh well that seems about right’.
I mean they’ve always been… long. Just also pointing up. Why. Why am I still describing my boobs to people on the internet?
Wooo not my fault! Still, so annoying. Sometimes I think I only started doing competitive swimming is because then my pecs could take a break from holding all the weight up.
Wait what
is this a thing?
I wish–well, no, I don’t, but it would give me a wider range of clothes I could wear if I were even an A cup. (Two pregnancies, two kids, both nursed.)
toasties are SO GOOD at making me go from “awww i want to have kids!” to “I AM NEVER HAVING KIDS” and then back again.
A+++ deployment of Hedwig screencap and quote, I definitely think of that every time I read anything about bra care.
OMG, YES, HEDWIG! It was such a big thing when I was at college, and it turned out the composer(?)/lyricist(?) was the partner of one of the faculty and so there was a special screening for it and I went in drag and…wow, OK, maybe this is a sign I need to rewatch this.
I have never actually seen Hedwig but that quote is why I air dry my bras.
“You should try getting professionally fitted for a bra!” is the “Have you tried turning it off and on again?” of advice for people with boob-size troubles. I goddamned know what size I am, I just haven’t been able to buy my size anywhere but online since I was 17.
I mean, sometimes I DO need to be reminded to try turning it off and on again, but I feel like there is not a bra-wearer ALIVE who hasn’t heard “have you tried getting a professional fitting” at least 80 times by the age of 37.
You’d think, and yet it is always told to me with the air of imparting a great and hard-won secret of femininity.
Have you tried limiting gluten? I went off gluten and also stopped eating sugar or consuming any kind of nutrients at all and now my bras fit great, because I am a skeleton.
As a skeleton, you probably need to go down a cup size. You know, after a major weight change, you need to be professionally fitted again. 🙂
I changed to a diet of nothing but Yahtzee dice and haven’t had trouble with my bras since.
So true! And I HAVE finally gotten competently professionally fitted (32H, G-d help me) and therefore priced out of all but the saddest-looking, most expensive bras in the expensive specialty stores around here, but when I tell salesladies or friends in, say, Gap or wherever, they’re lean forward and say triumphantly, “but have you been professionally fitted? That’s not a size. We/they can do it right here!” Once I let a saleswoman in Nordstrom’s (in Canada, so ersatz Nordstrom’s with a mere shadow of the stock in a real one) give me a 36DD sports bra. I shouted with laughter trying to shoehorn myself into it and she called through the door, “it fits? Good! We have one more in that unusual size!”
I got professionally fitted. They’re less tortuous, but I wouldn’t call them comfortable. Then again, maybe it’s worth it for the sweet relief of freeing the boobs the minute I walk in the door of my home?
My wife and a couple of our friends recently got fitted at a fancy lingerie place, and I got a little brainwashed by their raving about it (and was sort of jealous of their champagne and chocolates and fancy frilly bras)…but then I realized I’d rather keep paying $36 at Gap Body, because MY BRAS ARE FINE.
And then, inevitably, “You can’t trust bra fitters. Most of them don’t understand how sizing works, and they’re just trying to move product, anyway.”
Bras are tools of the patriarchy!
This seems to draw the reply of “I’m pretty big there, so I have trouble doing anything but lying down or swimming without a bra.”
(I mean, I don’t really think this, though I would like to have A Chat with whoever invented the underwire)
We can 3D print buildings now, you’d think someone could make an underwire bra where the underwires didn’t pop out of their channels and stab you after a couple months.
But that would spare women for being rightfully punished for original sin!
I think my little bit of magic is that my underwires almost never pop out? I mean, they will eventually, but it’s taken years.
That is an amazing superpower.
ALL HAIL FEMPUTER!
She know what do.
The spirit is willing…
Where can I find one of those animal fang bras in a 34B?
I never wear a bra, and I’m the President of God, so much for your theory.
Geez Mallory, would it kill you to properly cite me when you quote me?
If you put a bra in the dryer, it WARPS TIME AND SPACE!!!
*immediately puts all bras in dryer* SPACE BOOBS OR BUST!!!
BOOOOOOOOBBBBSSSS INNNNNNNN SSSSPPPPPAAAAAAACCCCCEEEEEE….
ok but actually, what does zero gravity do to your boobs? Do you need a special bra so they don’t keep popping in and out? But does it even MATTER in zero g? I def wouldn’t wear a bra in space — unless they warped time and space, of course.
That would have been a much better question for those Russian women astronauts than how they will cope without makeup!
(Context: http://www.theverge.com/2015/11/1/9648718/russian…
Okay, now I want to know what they do in space. Do they float up to your chin? Under your armpits? Have the space programs taken steps to secure floating breasts so they don’t knock anyone out?
I heard an hilarious interview with Carrie Fischer were she joked and ranted about her undergarments in the Star Wars movies. (do I remember where? No, but maybe it was Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me) She said she couldn’t wear a bra in Star Wars because apparently there are no bras in space and how uncomfortable it was and also complained about the metal underwear in ep 5.
They taped her boobs for A New Hope because nipples are eeevilll. This is super informative.
That link… is for this article? Which, don’t get me wrong, IS super informative but… OH NO who put their bras in the dryer now all links point to themselves you GUYS this is what we were WARNED about.
Oops, I meant this: http://inktank.fi/20-things-you-didnt-know-about-…
Now I need to know this so bad.
Found the link – it was on Wait Wait and she says a couple of the things quoted in keythah’s link.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?stor…
I’m quite sad I can only like this once. And now I want a TARDIS bra.
Wibley Wobley Boobie Woobie.
They’re bigger on the inside.
A BRADIS?
Oh my god, when we get Tilda Swinton as doctor who she must have a BRADIS. Talk about secret weapons! It would be the ultimate trolling of people who don’t think there should be a lady Doctor. And of people who would get caught up debating whether Ms. Swinton needs to wear a bra at all.
Boobs Rapidly Accelerating Dimensionally In Space?
OK I legit get mad when I’m watching sci-fi stuff and people are just wearing normal bras because I”m like, “I hope to FUCK that we have better bra technology in 150-200-300 years.” I mean come on.
“I as a 32B have never in my life needed underwire, it’s horrible and poke-y and absolutely ruins your chi with its metallic aura. I just knit my own bralettes out of an organic yakhair-guanaco blend, and I’ve never had a better fit! I’m sure it’ll work just as well for the larger ladies!!!!!!”
(It will not. It never does. There are two distinct genres of bra advice, A-To-C Bra Advice and D-And-Over Bra Advice, and never the twain shall meet.)
SO ACCURATE
Like I don’t know that underwires are horrible. “Oh, is that what pokes me in the armpit whenever I try to take a spontaneous nap on the couch? Who knew?” (I knew. I knew that.)
Right?
I have finally started bending them so they curve around my ribcage, which helps a bit, but they still suck.
Seriously. Oh, you hate underwire? Well, I wish my whole dang bra was made out of metal.
My breasts are disproportionately affected by even a very small amount of weight gain or weight loss. A total of 5pounds in either direction is easily an entire cup size difference (my band size rarely changes). So, I mean, I’m happy to pay lots of money for bras if they actually fit well, and I’m happy to go to boutique bra shops where I get fitted by lovely women’s college graduates while on vacation. But then I’m gonna eat a big lunch a couple days in a row, and it’s not gonna fit right again…….
Me too. Unless someone is going to come to my house and fit me for a fancy bra every morning, and maybe again after lunch, it’s not going to help.
That sounds like an excellent micro business idea.
Bradviser to the stars!
Uber for bras! Disrupt that shit!
“Your fitter is …8… minutes away.”
For a while I had three sets of bras – one for my period week, one for ovulation week, one for the weeks in between.
‘Luckily’ this was easy to acquire because I ordered from Lane Bryant and despite ordering all the same sizes, some were CLEARLY bigger/smaller than the rest.
I want to post apropos Jayne Mansfield photos here, but alas, I don’t have any right now.
Then there are the comments on hippie sites. Didja know that if you just stop wearing a bra, your breasts will perk themselves right back up? And bras give you cancer,but that’s okay because if you just stop eating sugar/gluten/anything with a g in the name you’ll be cured!
Breasts, the most magical of all the pains in the ass.
Mrs. Bragg claims drinking her apple cider vinegar will perk them up.
Have you tried KALE?
I’ve heard great things about cod…
If bras prevented sagging, don’t you think bra companies would advertise that fact?
Good god, there was some asshole over on io9 who insisted that bras caused sagging and he would NOT shut up about it. Then he would conclude with “SCIENCE, BITCH” .gifs as a way of demonstrating that he was an Ally to Women.
I remember an urban legend thing going around a couple years ago about how boobs have “tendons” in them that “weaken” when you wear bras, which makes your boobs saggier, and you need to stop wearing bras so these “tendons” get “exercise” and can hold up your boobs’ weight. Which is an absolute load of crock. (Also, women who wear bras tend to have unnaturally upright and rounded breasts compared to women who do not, so “perky” isn’t really the natural state of boobs anyway; by age 20 or so they’re generally somewhat flattened and downward-pointing. Which is a perfectly fine way for boobs to look, but if you’re trying to avoid it, going without a bra is the exact opposite of a good strategy.
And always, always the lady that got genetically lucky and somehow has large, naturally perky breast and claims that since she can go braless without much sagging, all women should be able to.
(Though seriously lady, 34F and you don’t have to wear a sports bra?….yeah, I don’t believe you)
“The right size bra is never uncomfortable. If you can find the right bra for your body, you’ll never experience pain or suffering for the rest of your life. You’ll die painlessly in your sleep, with your perfect, right-sized bra.”
But you shouldn’t sleep in your bra!!! (Someone was gonna say it…)
I learned some years back that some people have bras especially for sleeping in, which wait what
how
what
i mean i have some loose-cannon roll-around knockers myself, but tethering them down during sleep is not on my to-do list, y’know?
A particularly busty friend of mine once complained about getting punched in the face by her boob while she slept, so I think for some people it may be a necessity.
I’m impressed by anyone who can sleep in something with enough substance to hold ’em back, is all. I have a pajama top that (to my surprise when it arrived) has a built-in bra and A. it wouldn’t keep my boobs firmly in place if I moved suddenly; B. it’s certainly not comfortable enough that I’d be able sleep in it routinely.
But then, we all make our trade-offs for comfort as our needs command. It was a mind-blowing idea to me when I first heard it, and I still can’t… quite… imagine it. But clearly it works for some people!
One of my friends does this and it totally mystifies me! But they’re not my boobs, so I ain’t gonna judge? It’s so opposite to my mindset though. Do you remember the bit in the Little House series where Laura talks about how she just /has/ to take her corsets off at night, even though Ma tuts at her for doing so? That’s pretty much my reasoning too.
I occasionally sleep in my stretched-out sports bras that I wear around the house (when I’m not free-boobin’) They don’t really provide much meaningful support, they just mean I don’t have to completely get dressed again when I want to make a cup of tea or go to the convenience store down the block.
Lying down is the only time I can be free from these gd boulder holders, you are damn RIGHT I’m not sleeping in my bra.
But I do get that it’s the only way for some people to be comfortable. And to them I say, do whatever the heck you need too, that sounds very annoying, I commiserate.
I slept in one while I was knocked up because ANYTHING brushing against my nipples made me want to light the world on fire.
I’m one of them! I sleep in a fairly restrictive sports bra, as well as shorts & a tank top, probably because I was a Puritan in a past life or something and like being wrapped up tight as a mummy when I sleep.
Lately it hasn’t been an issue, but I’ve had pain (first from PMS then fibroids) that made keeping everything in one place and less likely for me to roll over on it a super-duper priority. I sewed up the front of a soft fabric sports-ish bra & was well pleased with the result (sleeping through the night).
oooooh smart idea!
The horror stories my friend’s mom, the pathologist, told us about What Happens To People Who Sleep In Their Bras scare me lo these nearly 2 decades later. Thanks, Dr. D!
I have to bite – what happens?!
Clots & strokes & DEATH,basically.
Mom was a pathologist; Dad was an OB-GYN; dinner at their house was a blast.
one of my ex’s wears a bra to sleep and the entirety of our relationship it baffled me. it still does. granted she’s a lot smaller than me so maybe it was less uncomfortable??????? I don’t know??????? know explanation I can come up with has ever felt like enough justification to actually do it.
Suddenly reminded of “Miranda” and her rolling over in bed and her boobs clapping together. And then it happened in front of a boy! So she explained BOOB CLAPPING. To a boy!!!!
Have you considered replacing your bras with two drones and a rigging system?
Well, I am now.
Yes I consider this frequently. Also, two octopuses, a long stick with a wheel on the end and two cradle things on top, very large helium balloons strung through my defunct nipple piercings, or, for those lazy times, just waiting a few more years and tying them in a knot.
I don’t think it’s too much longer for me on the knot-tying.
Or just throwing them over my shoulder (like a continental soldier).
If I stand behind Mr. LF when he is sitting, I can drape mine over *his* shoulders and it is delightful. For some reason it is less delightful for him, but that is not what we are here to discuss.
That is SUPER delightful.
I would watch a movie of any length about your marriage.
I am completely delighted. He needs to get up to speed on the delight levels here.
It’s possible he just has a defect that doesn’t allow him to feel delight.
I want you to know that I appreciate you and everything you do.
I am so glad others are as delighted by my antics as I am.
I’ve done that to mine. He seems reasonably okay with it.
Lemonadefish, everything you say delights me. Never stop.
Ooh, I am super excited to try that–thanks for the idea!
Let us know how it goes! Maybe there will be an epidemic of un-delighted toastpartners.
… two octopuses …
TAKE MY MONEY!
Get thee to a Makerspace!
I have an acquaintance who has his PhD in programming drones. I feel like I should suggest this to him as a business opportunity.
I often consider advertising for a large handed person to just follow me around, holding them. I’ve been assured that people will pay for the privilege.
I have a small-but-somewhat-hard-to-find-at-Target size, and after reading the same advice on so much of the Internet I *tried* going up a cup size and down a band size, thinking this new size would make shopping easier. I even convinced myself in the fitting room that the new size fit me. I pull that bra out and wear it every once in a while, but it is frankly just too small. It would maybe feel comfortable if I bought an extender to clip onto the back, but that’s not the same thing as being the right size. I feel as if someone lied to me except there’s no one in particular to blame.
The Internet lied to you. It does that.
yeah, I tried on a bra that was “supposed” to fit me when I was converting to this trendy new bra-size system and it felt like death. I ended up going up not one but two band sizes. BUT, I also went up several cup sizes based on a newfound understanding of how cups are supposed to work, so it ended up helping me. My new conclusion is that no numerical guidelines can find your best bra size; only figuring out what’s most comfortable for you can do that.
I was once waylaid at VS by the free fitting lady and she tried to convince me to go from a 36 to a 32. I NEED TO BREATHE. THE GIRLS NEED TO BREATHE. NO.
Yeah, the lady at Vicky’s measured me recently and the conversation went like this:
Lady: You are a 32 D!!!
Me: Which is the sister size of a 36 B, aka my usual bra size because I like to breathe, yes?
Lady: Well, also a 34 C in that case, but really, you should start with the 32 D!
Me: ….
Me: [gasps for air]
To be fair, I did determine that I am a 34 C in Vicky’s bras now, in very specific styles.
Yes. Just…yes.
I always thought I knew how to choose my right size bra. My bras always sat straight, fit smoothly, had neither gappage nor overspill, were comfortable, and supported. Then one time I consented to consider the advice of a bra fitter. I suspect this was not a real bra expert, just a store employee who had watched an episode of Oprah. Anyway, she insisted I needed to wear a smaller band size and larger cup size, because EVERYONE WHO THINKS THEY CAN FIT THEMSELVES FOR A BRA MAKES THE SAME MISTAKE. LITERALLY EVERYONE. So I tried a couple bras in the size she recommended, and they were all so tight in the band that they were extremely painful, and there was enough extra space in the cups to fit my hands in there as well. Which I guess would be useful for toting around my lunch and a spare pair of gloves. I showed her and she still insisted it was the right size.
I went elsewhere to buy bras. This is why I will never have a corner office.
Has anyone considered that maybe bras are just uncomfortable?
Yep. Every day.
I’m not sure if I’m an outlier weirdo on this point, but I’m a lady of large-ish breast size who often goes braless. Never for like professional events, but the grocery store, social hang out time, etc. Usually I’m all about it. Occasionally I have paranoid thoughts like “are people judging my bralessness? Do strangers think I’m inappropriate for letting my boobs just hang?”
What think, guys? Ever inappropriate to be out and about in the world with my G-cups just doing their thing unfettered?
I wouldn’t judge anyone for free-boobing as long as they’re not trying to tell me that I also would be more comfortable doing it, because I would not (note: that’s not at all the vibe I’m getting from your post, but it’s def one I get from other comments on bra articles).
Eh, depends on your clothes I guess… I would sometimes go out in a sweatshirt and no bra with my Gs, back when they occupied approximately the sort of area western fashion expects. But now that the baby has had her way and I look more like a National Geographic spread from the 70s, I don’t go out braless.
I think it’s fine, but look out for the law. I live in a very small town, and I’m always a little paranoid going to the store without a bra. “I’m sorry ma’am, we’re going to have to take you in.” “What? WHy?” “Ordinance 172.621b. Titty Swing. With intent.”
Damn. Had not even thought of that yet.
Is that a thing? Please let that not be a thing.
Doesn’t bother me any. The only reason I don’t do the same is it hurts my back more to be without a bra than with one. You have my envy.
I. CANNOT.DEAL.WITH.FREEBOOB.
with a cumulative 7 years of breastfeeding, those things need leashed, omg, they are so freakin’ annoying! They get in the way in yoga, I accidentally side punch them in karate, and that’s in the smush-them-flat sports bras. The free swinging thing drives me nuts.
I had to demonstrate a couple months ago, to a very bewildered and then embarrassed male teacher, that no, I physically can not do that move. It’s not that I’m not flexible, it’s that there’s this wad of flesh preventing my chest from touching my leg, here.
I’ve been there! My sister says it helps to remember that yoga was created by and for men, despite the way we see it now in the US.
YES. I am so, so done explaining this to the yogaratti.
I had this very modestly endowed friend who was into lots of woo-tastic stuff and “invented” her own “yoga” and I was willingly her guinea pig for some of her “yoga” routines (which were pretty comfortable overall but not real yoga). But I had to explain to her more than once that I can’t do this or that exercise in her series because boobs in the way.
Other than at work-type events, it’s fine if sort of personally horrifying when I imagine doing it myself. But you say you like it and it isn’t intensely painful, so go you. I do sometimes grocery shop in camisoles with shelf-bras which is juuuuuuuuust barely enough support to be comfortable.
I am b or maybe a small c, and…oh god, this year bras became pretty uncomfortable for some reason. Now I was pretty much only ever wearing stretchy crop top sports bra things, but even THEY became uncomfortable because of sweat, and when you’re sweaty they start sawing away at your skin and GAHHH
I actually tried to buy a ‘proper” bra this year, with no underwire though – but it had this weird hard boning piece in the side which felt like a piece of torture rigging. So – nope. Stretchy crop top sports bra things most of the time but for much of the winter I wore no bras because under a top and a jumper nobody can tell.
You can take the side stays out! I just removed them from a bra for the first time last month, and it took three minutes and made basically no difference to how the bra fit, so then I did it to all my other bras.
What I still don’t know is why they put them there in the first place.
(I am on the other side of the divide between the two distinct genres of bra advice, so for all I know, maybe the boning does something useful in smaller cup sizes. Also I would probably wear the stretchy crop top things most of the time if I were smaller-chested, so I’m really not disagreeing with your bra wardrobe strategy, just hopefully adding an option if you want it.)
Oh that’s good to know! But yes, for us smaller sized people, most bras for sale are completely overkill! I don’t need 10 kilograms of underwire and padding and scaffolding – my bust is only 3 inches bigger than my waist, clearly there’s not a lot there that needs supporting. I mean if you love underwire and padding than that’s totally great, but there’s practically nothing else commercially available. I used to wear cotton bras that had no padding or underwire, but they are alas no more. They also don’t seem to make cotton bras anymore, everything’s made out of sweattastic plastic. Once again, a symptom of the fact that when fashions change for women, suddenly you can no longer get the old style that you liked – whereas for men, even if fashions change, they still keep the older stuff around because they assume that there will be a fair few men who have conservative tastes. For women, you can like it or lump it. (See also every top having 3/4 sleeves instead of full length, shorts/tracksuit pants/exercise pants suddenly all being skin tight instead of baggy/relaxed fit – I had to get mens’ shorts because I don’t like skin tight, and suddenly all the jeans being skinny – skinny jeans literally won’t go on over my calves.) Women’s fashion! *shakes fist at the heavens*
If you want bras that are *very* out of date, some of the boxed bras at Sears are plainly styles that have been around forever. I actually like some of the ones with seamed cups and no underwire, and they’re plenty supportive, but they don’t cause quite the right shape for modern fashion and the seams are visible under t-shirts.
If you find somewhere that sells bras that are only a decade or so out of style, please let me know, they might have boyshort undies that are cut they way I liked.
Sadly, I am Australian so I can’t get anything at Sears (not confident to buy bras without trying them on, also I doubt Sears would ship here.)
For underwear, I have a great time with Bonds – which might not be available in America. I have an underpants uniform – I have about a million pairs of these, in black. http://www.bonds.com.au/hipster-boyleg-w0148o-6ba…
It is not available in Canada, and also that’s not quite the boyshort style I miss, though it’s closer than the last pair of boyshorts I bought.
Any department store with boxed bras might have the ones I’m thinking of. They are boring brands like Playtex and Warner and so on.
I should have finished reading the thread before posting! Playtex is the boring old fashioned brand that I found at HS. They also have Triumph which does a lot of similar, boring-but-comfy-and-supportive bras.
Maybe try Harris Scarfes? I am bigger busted so I’m not sure what they will offer for you but that’s where I found my holy grail – a wire free bra that fits and is supportive and not sweaty. (It’s not 100% cotton though so YMMV). They do only stock it in beige but then I was able to find it on the internet, once I knew what I was looking for.
They do more old fashioned underwear because their core customer based is old fashioned, so I find stuff there that i wouldn’t otherwise.
I was sos sos sosososoooo sad when I sized up out of bonds. Ugh. I am still bitter about it. I used to buy their tshirt bras too, and they were so comfy. But only up to a (very small) D. And I see now they don’t even do them anymore. Sigh.
YES on the exercise pants. I am dealing with the leggings style because that’s all there is now, but I would give anything for looser pants (or to lose a few more pounds and be able to wear my old ones again, but that may be a little while).
I just…I don’t want pants that are vacuum sealed to my body. Whether you want to call that body image issues or being self-conscious or whatever else, I JUST LIKE HAVING EXERCISE PANTS WITH POCKETS THAT AREN’T SPRAYED ON.
I call that wanting to be able to spontaneously walk three miles when the bus doesn’t come, without pain or chafing.
Though I guess that’s really more a gripe with skinny jeans (NOT MY JAM) than with leggings.
I hear you! I wear Lands End exercise capris that are at least one size too big, and my rotating ancient oversized cotton t-shirt collection (from all my jobs and educational institutions) to work out, and I get tons of weird looks because I’m the only woman who’s not in skintight pink-and-black lycra. I think they think I accidentally wore my pajamas to the gym.
Yes! barring the aerobics craze, it used to be pretty normal for women to exercise in baggy clothing. Thankfully my yoga class is full of older women and so the vast majority of them just wear oversized t shirts and ancient tracksuit pants. I mean I suppose if you’re doing something where you’ll be hanging upside down a lot, it might make sense to have a shirt that’s tight enough to not fall over your face – but barring that, what’s wrong with wearing loose fitting clothing/
Oh my god, YES about women’s fashion! WHAT IF I DON’T *WANT* TO WEAR SKINNY JEANS, GODDAMMIT.
Land’s End, but then you have to wear the waistband somewhere around your armpits too.
Ha! I’m not US-based, so I don’t know what Land’s End is, but I get your point.
I had the same problem!!! Last year I got fed up with it and went on a massive bra for small ladies research binge/hunt. Check out the brands Timpa and Only Hearts. There specially made for the small breasted ladies who don’t want all that extra padding and stuff. They have underwire, but honestly they don’t pinch.
(See also every top having 3/4 sleeves instead of full length,
I know I am 5 days late to this thread but I just have to express my anger about this. I HAVE 4/4 LENGTH ARMS.
I do this too, frequently, and am the same size. I live in the arctic north though, so I always have like 3 or 4 layers on top and figure no one can tell anyway.
I basically refuse to wear a bra on the weekend without a damn good reason (wedding, funeral). I have J cups. You do you.
I totally do this. I’m an F-cup, all-sports bras, all-the time kinda person – I feel more uncomfortable/dysphoric wearing a binder mostly, so it’s either free-boobs or sports bras
Maybe it’s because I was blessed with boobs that are really far apart and quite proportional to my body, but I freeboob all the time and support you in your quest! I mean, can’t get away with it professionally or at school but gotta go do some research at the library? Why wear a bra?
For me (and only me!): inside, yes. Outside, no.
I’m a C cup, and I stopped with bras about 2 years ago. I have a spinal cord condition where it finally got too painful to wear anything that is the least constricting, and I reached the point where I decided I wasn’t going to be in pain so that strangers wouldn’t judge me. BUTi realize that for other ladies, going braless can also be painful, so I’m not anti-bra, just anti-bra-for-me.
I need some cloth under there to absorb underboob sweat – bras (wireless unless it’s a special occasion) in the summer, binders (mainly the T-Kingdom 1500) in the winter. I find that even without sweat considerations, the idea of letting the bouncy-bouncy draw attention to the fact that I have breasts, something I’m really not keen on strange men (or anyone) noticing (genderqueer rape survivor, it hasn’t been fun), is more anxiety than could ever be worth it.
“Bras are a tool of oppression; we should throw off our patriarchal cages and burn them (except for the ones costing more than $50, maybe we can resell those).”
What happens when your “professional fitting” is done by a teenager who’s too nervous to measure you correctly, so you’re still in the wrong size bra??!
The only time I ever wore the wrong bra size, it was when I got professionally measured. This is a bit of a sticking point.
I just bought some new bras (from Bravissimo, which is generally very good) and asked for a fitter’s help, as I thought my size had changed. She was really nice and seemed to know what she was talking about, but I still suspect that they’re all slightly too big.
The only bras I ever got that fit were when I got fitted at VS. I wish I’d gone somewhere else, though, since their marketing is creepy.
There’s one perfect bra. It’s in a cave, and it belongs to a woman named Femputer. I saw her once. She looked incredible. She will never let me have it.
This gives me a great idea for a sequel to Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Wow, now that I think about it, those books probably *were* originally about a magical bra that fit everybody. And I curse the editor who demanded the author change them into pants.
I’d read that.
This feels like an appropriate time to say that I once found an underwire on the floor of my lounge. None of my bras were missing one and nobody who had recently (within the last year) taken their bra off in my house admitted to having lost one. I still have the mystery underwire.
Reminds me of when I stashed a bunch of bra padding under a dude’s sink while there for an *ahem* overnight. I still hope is he confused. Although the likelihood that he never cleaned and therefore never found it is high.
And OMG I just realized where my missing spanx are! Under the sink in our downstairs bathroom when I took them off after dinner at our thanksgiving party!
I think this may be proof that there is a Bra Fairy.
My washing machine started making a horrible sound mid-cycle one day so I hit the stop button and texted the landlord to let him know it needed looking at.
….when I took the load out it turned out an underwire had gone rogue and gotten stuck in the barrel. Most mortifying text-back ever.
Great, now I have Bette Midler in my head.
DAVE said: “stop posting such irrelevant articles. I came here for REAL NEWS.”
STEVE said: “lol ladies i’ll hold em up for you”
JIM said: “if any of you ladies need help bra shopping call me lmao”
FRANK said: “no matter what size you wear ladies I like em all!”
BOB said: “i dont get it”
One message board I occasionally visit finally had to institute a rule about male posters coming in and doing that on every single bra-related thread. It didn’t actually stop them but now they can get extra pouty about it whenever they get yelled at for it.
It’s not cute, it’s not clever, why do they keep doing it?! (I know why. But damn.)
I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that I think I know what board you mean, or the fact that there’s multiple boards that have had to introduce this stupid, stupid, stupid rule.
You might know it, it’s been around for ages at this point, long enough that I mostly just visit because it feels weird to stop going there entirely even though most of the board culture now rubs me the wrong way. But I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if more than one board had to introduce that same rule because those stupid comments are everywhere. I don’t understand the motivation behind them, I really don’t.
Ooh ooh, is it the sdmb????
Yup.
JEFF said: “more than a handful is a waste!”
A baker I know used to offer a tray of bite-sized assorted pastries, which was described in her brochure with the tagline “More than a mouthful is a waste.” I never did get up the nerve to ask if she was knew the usual meaning of the phrase.
I can’t believe I’m going to admit I do this, BUT:
When I am feeling particularly come-and-get-me, if I’m flirting with a guy I’ll say something along the lines of, “Yeah, I can be a bit of a handful. *looks down at breasts* Well, a bit more than a handful…*dirty, dirty sex eyes*”
I mean…100% success rate, so I don’t feel too bad, but yeah.
OMG
Don’t forget the “big boobs don’t count if you’re fat hehehh” guy, there’s always plenty of those, too.
The twonk who told my (hugely fat) F-cup ass how impressive and huge his new girlfriend’s E-cups were said something like that to my face by way of backpedaling. Fat = invisible.
This is TOO REAL
*lights STEVE, JIM, and FRANK on fire*
*stares at DAVE and BOB until they shrivel away*
I was just thinking of how awesome the deleted comments are going to be on this post.
I’m really curious to see how many comments this post ends up getting. So many opinions on bras in the world.
I want to be the President of God.
Why does “unsolicited advice is impolite at best” not apply to bras?
unsolicited advice is infuriating but it never stops. it gets extra worse once you have kids.
But Dr. Mercola said you’re supposed to feed your children a 68/23/4 mixture of quinoa, nutritional yeast, and chum. What kind of parent are you??
I lost it at chum. Bravo.
I think people just generally don’t apply the “unsolicited advice” advice when commenting on the internet
Or while being female.
I’m sorry to admit I used to be one of those people who thought everyone could have a comfortable bra if they just found the right size/brand. Then my body changed shape ever so slightly and now a comfortable bra no longer exists for me. I assume this is some sort of divine punishment.
Also, there is only one lingerie store where I live and not only do they insist on measuring you before you’re allowed to try on bras, they insist on checking the fit of every single bra you try on. Buying a bra takes like an hour.
BUT WHAT IF YOU’RE NOT SUPPORTED
Jesus Christ, that sounds like my personal hell. I hate it when store workers assume I don’t know what I’m doing, but it would be doubly icky when they want to start tugging on my bra straps.
I was recently told that, although I do hang my bras to dry, I don’t do it in the right way.
You see, hanging them by the straps will cause the mesh to turn to al dente linguine. The proper way to hang a bra to dry is to hook it between the two cups. That useless little decorative bow should rest atop the line.
It irritated me so much, I didn’t even fuss at my spouse when he tossed my laundry into the dryer* instead of letting me extract my bras first.
*I do not care if I leave my wash in the machine for thirteen hours after the cycle is done. He can’t just do that. It’s rude.
You’re still doing it wrong. You need to lay them flat on a mesh screen with good air circulation both underneath and above at a temperature not to exceed 75F.
No no no. You’re supposed to blow gently on them for three hours straight, thinking pure, uplifting thoughts all the while.
What, do you all not take them to the top of a mountain, where blind Tibetan monks band together with cashmere goats to take turns fanning them with fair trade textiles until they’re dry?
No??? You’re doing it wrong.
Every article about bras turns into an epic battle of who has it worse between The Overly Endowed and The Itty Bitty Titty Committee. The two factions will continue to fight until The Menz join the fray, shouting about their preferred amount of chestage and providing all boob-having people a common enemy.
More than a handful is too much, amIrite?
MEN ARE THE WORST
Burr
And everyone in that battle thinks size is something either they or the other side chose on purpose for moral superiority reasons.
Wisdom for the ages.
I once had some dudes get Very Offended when I complained on a bra thread that I would just like to be able to take my boobs off occasionally (like in summer, so sweaty!) and that dudes don’t understand that they’re heavy and bulky and kind of a pain in the ass. “But they’re so beautiful, I loooove them! Women have much nicer bodies than men!” WHO ASKED YOU dude, seriously. Nobody cares about your boner.
yes oh my god, detachable boobs pls
I could take them off for days when I want to wear strapless dresses or backless tops, send them in for service the next time I’m nursing and a duct gets blocked… what a dream.
Yessssss. I want some kind of cybernetic implant that makes them retractable.
GOD yes
this is the best idea
I had a conversation with a group of friends in college about this. We had a whole plan about whose boobs we would borrow for date nights and who would definitely leave theirs in the closet for working out.
A former roommate and I just wanted to pool our boob resources and divide them up evenly. Barely A and 36 Extra Long should average out into a couple sets of reasonably sized racks, right?
This isn’t even the main point (and I totally agree about detachable boobs), but “women have much nicer bodies than men!” Or “women are more beautiful than men!” coming from men is the ultimate vastly irritating sexist “compliment” that is really just “my gaze is the only gaze!”/”my boner is the most important!”/”women are more beautiful therefore they’re the ones who have to groom themselves and wear deodorant and be dressed up, and men can be scruffy unwashed lumberjacks, because biology!” Etc. It took me until this year to get my father to acknowledge that this is problematic when he says it, EVEN if he means it in a positive way. I’m still not entirely sure it stuck.
Twonks, I tell you. The very idea is based on the idea that the only opinion that matters is that of straight men.
“But they’re so beautiful!”
“BUT WE DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK.”
I ALMOST understand where the bra evangelists are coming from — adjusting my bra size a few years ago legit made a huge difference in my day-to-day physical comfort, and conventional wisdom about bra shit IS infuriatingly inaccurate. But like… if people don’t wanna hear about your thing, you gotta leave them alone!
Yup. My quality of life absolutely went way way WAY up when I found a bra that worked for me.
But I also know that I basically lucked into it, I had been trying for years and years, so… giving advice is not going to help. Actually I found it while in the middle of a tearful rant to my boyfriend, who was standing outside the change room holding all the rejected bras I had FLUNG over the top of the door, about how the patriarchy is terrible and boobs are the worst. Apparently I scandalised a whole bunch of old ladies but I don’t care.
And also I definitely think that unsolicited advice is rude, no matter the subject.
At least one of those old ladies was probably whispering, “Right on, sister” under her breath.
Yes! My sophomore roommate talked me into getting fitted and the results were MAGICAL. Now I only hate bras a little bit and only sometimes.
I don’t give a fuck if I wear the wrong bra size for the rest of my life, I am never getting professionally fitted again. My mom took me when I was 12, I had to get naked in front of two old and very judgmental Eastern-European women, WHO GROPED ME WITHOUT ASKING, and I still have PTSD.
It took me 22 years and a chaperone to get over the same Evil Old Humiliating Bra Fitter trauma. You are not alone.
I fitted myself. I have hands, a tape measure, and happen to be an expert in my personal body, so it went fine. I’m the one wearing the damn thing, I’ll tell you whether it fits or not, thanks.
I have had so many professional bra fittings, but the things that make me hard to fit aren’t things they check – it’s about how the fat is distributed and how the breasts themselves sit on my torso. So the only way to find the bra that worked for me was to try on a whoooooole bunch and go with what felt comfortable.
Fittings gave me somewhere to start but honestly, just taking a measurement yourself would work exactly as well, without having to involve other people who may or may not be terrible. Fuck fittings. That lady might be an expert on bras but she’s NOT an expert on your boobs. You are.
Oh man, I was also groped by judgmental, forbidding Soviet immigrant ladies (did you go to the Bra and Girdle Factory too?) when I was twelve, because I couldn’t fit into the training bras my mother got for me and asked for bras more support. She was offended at that, so in retaliation she she took me to that place, which was mostly geared towards old ladies who like band-aid-colored, steel-reinforced bras. They “measured” me and declared me a 36C. I was probably actually a 28F or something, so thus began 18 years of wearing the wrong bra size (migraines, backaches, involuntary bad posture, grooves in the shoulders, the dreaded quadraboob, boobs slithering out of the band if I ran too fast, the bra coming partially unhooked by itself). But I’d been measured by an expert, or so I thought, so I just thought I had sadly weird boobs that couldn’t fit into any bras properly. I think they actually didn’t have any sizes smaller than 36C, so that’s what they said I was. I’m still pissed at them.
Well, now I’m super aware of my bra and how uncomfortable it is and I’m not going home for another 3 hours. The discomfort is probably exacerbated by the fact that my husband had to put it on for me this morning, and honestly, as lovely as feeling like a queen is, it’s just not the same when you don’t do it yourself. I wish I didn’t know that.
oh god I’m sitting in class and just had to surreptitiously adjust which hooks I have the band on and it’s possibly worse than it was before. I’ve been on campus since 9am and I can’t go home until after 10. Save me.
I was really mad when I got properly fitted because I feel like 34DD is the male-gaziest-sounding size in the universe.
I resisted going up to a DD for soooo long for the very same reason.
Yess my people. I will literally pay more for a brand that calls it 34E.
Sent from my iPhone
me. too. I have a work issue where a term we use all the time is abbreviated “DD” and it is like nails on my personal chalkboard.
At first they were like ” try the 32F” & I was vindicated but noooo, I’m one of those, like, rap guys’ girlfriends.
Sent from my iPhone
You get points for quoting sir mixalot though.
I was super stoked when I found out I was actually a DD. And then it was the name of a craft-brewery double IPA that someone brought to my grandparents’ for Christmas. So that was awkward.
SAME. And like, a lame joke from every tv show/rap song. I’m still bummed 🙁
Dude, I got fitted for a nursing bra when my oldest was born and I couldn’t fit into anything at any of the regular stores… I measured a _32 F_, which is so male-gaze-ish I assume it’s a vanity size. I mean bonkers.
Is this an appropriate place to ask my burning question, which is “WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BRALETTES IN THE WORLD???” I feel like I see them for sale all the time and yeah they are super cute but if you’re above a small B cup they aren’t good for anything, and if you’re a B or smaller how many can you need? I feel like 1-3 max, because if I were you I’d just not wear a bra 90% of the time.
(Same question about triangle top bikinis, pretty much.)
They were a great idea for dealing with all the see-through, low-cut, backless, sideless, strappy, criss-crossed tops the fashion world has bee peddling for the last year and a half, but the execution was severely flawed. 90% of them are a single thin layer of fabric that you can see nipples right through, and the ones with cups have cups about 1/3 the diameter they should be for the size of the bralette itself, so they just sort of sit on top of the end of your boobs and make them look like ovals.
What we really should have done is make it trendy to wear those little short-sleeved or tank-style crop tops over our regular bras but under the billowing curtain tops, so everyone can wear their bra of choice but not have to use those bralette things.
This is an A+ answer, thank you.
That’s how I wear a bralette! My big-ass boobs won’t let me go braless, so I just layer it right over my bra and adjust so it covers the band of my bra. A++, 10/10 would wear again.
GENIUS
I would also like to know the answer to this question. That and why do they make large cup size bras that aren’t padded? I would like to be able to wear slightly tight t-shirts without the outline of my areola showing through!
None of my bras are padded (I don’t think I’ve ever had padded bras), and I like that – I find the idea of adding padding to the mix quite weird. They’re huge already! And my nipples don’t tend to show much, anyway.
They make them for *me*!
Since busting out at age ten, I was always excruciatingly self-conscious about nippleage, only wearing padded bras and being mystified by sheer ones. And then at some point two or three years ago I just snapped and was like, “Anybody who WASN’T already aware that I have breasts? Needs to wake the fuck up, because that shit is super obvious and padded bras are WAY too hot for three seasons out of four.”
Part of an ongoing midlife crisis, probably. But now I’m all about lace and mesh, and life remains okay.
And really, anybody who thinks I have breasts, but no nipples, is not somebody I need in my life.
To hell with Barbie boobs.
I am coming to peace with the fact that anyone who can’t deal with seeing my nipples is probably a terrible person. This is my thought to make me feel less self-conscious about possibly visible-through-a-shirt nipplage.
Also for some bizarre reason this year most of my bras started…riding up. I just wear stretchy things, but it felt like that the band section was riding up so it was halfway up the lower part of my breast and that is SO annoying! Gotten into the habit of getting home and tearing my bra off
I had the same problem. I’d just had the bras long enough that the band had gotten stretched out. I’d stretch, then drop my arms, but there was my bra, 1/4 of the way up my boobs. I now have new bras that are still the size on the label, and the problem is solved.
I had a hate-on for lace bras for years, because they were itchy and not at all my aesthetic. And then I went bra-shopping in a heat wave, and guess what bra did not instantly raise my temperature a couple of degrees when I tried it on? (Reader, I bought it.)
I will try this if Emory accepts me. Thanks for the tip!
They make them for meeeee! My nipples show even through padding (tru story) and I have made my peace with it. And extra padding is a trial I don’t need, plus it changes the shape of the cups in a way that makes them not work for me.
Haha I am absolutely a bravangelist. But my quality of life has legitimately improved SO MUCH since I discovered actual bra sizing that I feel bad not sharing if I could also improve other people’s quality of life. hashtag yolo?
I will bravangelise at someone until the cows come home … if they ask. Otherwise it’s as annoying as someone evangelising at you about being vegan or doing CrossFit.
I was a 36 D until I lost 40 pounds, at least 10 of which was breast fat. I went to Nordstrom, explained the situation, and the “fitter” decided, without measuring me, that <wait for it> I needed to go down a band size and up a cup size. Not even in my dreams was I ever a 34 DD so I explained to her that a) I really needed to be able to breathe while wearing a bra, b) my rib cage did not change size, and c) I carry a purse so no need to be able to store wallet and cell phone inside my bra. The little b* got in the last word, though. On the way to the register she surreptitiously swapped all of my 36 Cs for 34 DDs, which I didn’t discover until I unwrapped them at home, 50 miles from the store.
She… she what? o_O
That’s insane! Even if someone wants to by the wrong size clothing or something that looks terrible on them or whatever else..you can’t make them buy what you think is the right size! And bras..it’s like…the person who’s wearing them should really have the last word BECAUSE THEY ARE THE ONES WHO ARE WEARING THEM
I feel so much rage for this. It is a TRAVESTY. A TRAVESTY of justice. TRAVESTY, I tell you!!!!
Woah. Customer. service. fail.
Did you return them all, complain, and get a nice big discount or credit on a future purchase, cause that’s the only way I’d give that store my business again, if a salesperson pulled that shit with me.
I feel like I’ve commented to this effect before, but I did a professional bra fitting at one of those fancy stores a few years ago, and I actually ended up in tears because of how uncomfortable and unflattering the bras they INSISTED fit correctly were on me. Like, the amount of back fat I had spilling out above AND below the band was insane – I pointed it out and the woman just shrugged and said “your shirt will smooth all that out.” Uh, no? Also, I could hardly breathe! They ended up guilting me into buying one fancy bra – I think I wore it once then eventually just sent it to the thrift store.
Also, I hate that in those threads, the bra evangelists just refuse to believe that large band sizes are real – “there’s no way on earth you’re actually a 36, I would bet a 32 at the most!” Sorry, some of us have broad ribcages – I’m already self-conscious about it, thank you for also literally insisting that my body type does not exist.
Yup, I am a 38, which is an 18 here. Even when I had C cups I was never less than a 16. My ribcage is solid and broad.
I am sorry you had that experience. Professional bra fitters seem to be real jerks.
38/40DDD holla
I have a large ribcage for my frame, with relatively small cup size. When my brother and sister-in-law got married, the bridesmaid dresses had corset tops. I was singing for the ceremony, so needed the bodice to accommodate full ribcage expansion. But that was going to create problems in keeping the dress aloft when I breathed out. I added spaghetti straps, because I didn’t want to get to the end of a phrase and flash everyone.
Gah. 42F here. I wore a 34D in high school, just that every other pound I gain goes onto my gut/sides where a bra band sits, and I’ve gone from “slightly pudgy” to “morbidly obese” since those days. I’m pretty certain I exist.
This is why I have NO bras that require cup size, merely sizes S, M, and L, and tbh if Gap ever stops making them I will probably have to go support-less……
I saw a “most women wear the wrong size bra” comment just today!
Fucking Femputer. She could at least share once in a while.
Did you know that 400% of American women are wearing the wrong bra size?
The whole article could have been just that line and it would still have been perfect.
(I finally went to one of those Very Fancy Bra Stores — in Manhattan, no less! — to get Properly Sized and everything they gave me tried to shove my boobs to my chin while cutting off all bloodflow to my ribs and I left feeling like I’d learned that none of the internet comments are meant for girls with a B-cup and a co-dependent relationship with Uniqlo’s wireless bras.)
I once tried on one of those super push up bras, the kind that take your C and give you a double D. I took it back off, saying in an Otto voice, “that is flagrant false advertising”.
This is me, except with a B-cup and a co-dependent relationship with Gap Body’s unpadded underwire ones. I’ve accompanied several friends to a Very Fancy Bra Store in Manhattan and just cannot be bothered to do a fitting when what I have works just fine and doesn’t cost a zillion dollars.
Keepers of bra lore affirm that The Perfect Bra makes bionic noises when in motion.
If you quest for The Perfect Bra, and it does not make bionic noises, you have been led astray by a False Bra.
I’m a 32DDD (possibly a 30DDD, since I’ve lost some weight) and I have yet to find a bra that fits. However, I have mastered the art of taking my bra off while dropping my purse and walking up the stairs, which makes the time between arriving home and comfort 2.4 seconds.
My plans to fit my bras with hydraulics have not yet panned out.
Bras. So many feelings. I am loving everything about this post.
As a very well endowed child of a completely flat chested mother (as in, she’s only ever worn a bra when she was pregnant, and even then it wasn’t really necessary.), having boobs has been a hell of an adventure.
I have recently found 40D bra’s from Marks and Spencer that are a JOY. They are completely neutral and allow me to feel like a human. I was also a committed bra sleeper for all of my teen years, largely because my boobs were so huge that going without a bra hurt, but have recently discovered the love for free boobing in bed, although I could live without the occasional nipple smush related pain.
TL;DR I love having boobs, but I just wish they’re weren’t so high maintenance.
I’m with you here. As the only busty sister in my family, I never learned how bras were supposed to fit until the Lord blessed me with a busty college roommate and she talked me into getting measured. And now life is a lot nicer.
I switched to Brunhilde’s Body Armor and they’re much more comfy — no wires, don’t smoosh like sports bras, enough oomph but not too much. Plus, cheaper.
(18 hour somethings? They’re the best option for me, that’s all I know.)
HOWEVER, as soon as I am in the house, I release the tits from their cruel bondage. Because it’s lounging around time.
I’m all about nipple covering stickers instead of a bra. I’ve finally stopped waiting for the puberty fairy to finally arrive and give me breasts, so I might as well enjoy what I don’t have. I do still wear bras when I decide I have to be a proper adult for the day etc., but I went braless for the whole month of August this year and it was glorious.
But really the worst part to me is having been properly fitted (and the recommended size actually does work) and then discovering that just like with all other types of clothing, different brands fit differently even if they claim to be the same size. So now you have to find your best size AND brand. Blarg.
Based on this comment thread, I just ordered 2 of those Playtex 18 hour thingies from Sears. This will be the first time I’ve ordered a bra online (thus didn’t try it on) but since I have been professionally fitted and so perhaps that size is right, and they were only $20 each, it seems worth the risk.
PSA only related to bras, not comments on articles about bras:
For those with hard to find sizes, not enough money for that shit, and a moderate lack of squeamishness about underclothes, try finding bras on ebay. Seriously, if you already know your size in a brand, there are often great deals.
The only catch is that you can’t find any bras in 30G or 32F, so don’t even try (please).
This comment is obviously very late but I find it very curious that of all these comments, not one is from a professional bra fitter! Do none of those ladies read the Toast??
I was once responsible for derailing a boob-appreciation thread on 4chan with exactly this sort of thing. I have a dream that someday, virginal 20something neckbeards will understand that D cups aren’t ginormous.
I think what I love even more is that they think somehow the band size really correlates with cup size. You can especially tell this when reading erotica that had to have been written by a man because it will say something like "She was 5'2", 115 lbs, with a perfect 38DD chest." Unless all her weight is up around her chest, that is simply not going to happen!
What the shit is a band size? I have enough trouble making sure the girls are home by curfew
very nice one
I switched to Brunhilde’s Body Armor and they’re much more comfy — no wires, don’t smoosh like sports bras, enough oomph but not too much. Plus, cheaper.
I read this post completely and there is so much to consider. I am amazed that I haven't even thought of these facts before nor I have come acrossed such posts and now I am thinking that I might be wearing a wrong size bra. I bought a new bra from Smitten Lingerie about 2 months back and it still feels like new may be because of the fabric and now I am gonna take care of it. Not gonna put in a dryer and only gonna wash them by hands.