This is the definitive comparison of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as other foursomes. For reference, I am a Raphael. I will accept no arguments.
Gryffindor leads turtle teens
Ravenclaw does machines
Slytherin is cool but rude
Hufflepuff’s a party dude
Sex and the City
Leonardo is a Carrie
Michelangelo is a Samanta
Raphael is a Charlotte
Donatello is a Miranda
(Splinter is Mr. Big? DISCUSS)
Raphael is John Lennon if there ever was one, and Paul McCartney is Leonardo. George Harrison is Donatello but Ringo is a much smarter Michelangelo than anyone gives him credit for.
Dr. Egon Spengler does indeed do machines, and though he acts like a leader is definitely more of a Donatello. It would be easy to place Dr. Peter Venkman as Michelangelo, but he’s cunning and prone to strange outbursts, so he’s definitely Raphael. Winston Zeddmore is the true Leonardo of the gang, while Dr. Ray Stanz gets a blowjob from a ghost, a total Michelangelo move.
Regina George may be the leader but she’s no Leonardo. Frankly, either is Cady Heron. They’re Raphael and Donatello, respectively. Gretchen Weiners tries to invent ridiculous slang too much to be anyone but Michelangelo, making Karen Smith…Leonardo? A hot take but I’ll stand by it.
I’m going to say Chuck Bass is the Michelangelo, just because he commits to having as much fun as his lifestyle can afford him and he’s the one most likely to wear orange. The other three are Raphaels. Nobody does machines.
I have never read Little Women.
h/t to Rie and Matt for the inspiration