Reasons Ryan Atwood From The O.C. Was A Lesbian -The Toast

Reasons Ryan Atwood From The O.C. Was A Lesbian

ByDaniel Mallory Ortberg

on February 25, 2016 in LGBT

The O.C. was a television show about four young lesbians loving and living in Newport Beach. Also Sandy Cohen. Allow me to defend my position.

1. He’s short and scrappy and elicits hostile, territorial behavior in other people’s boyfriends

2. Always wearing leather wrist cuffs

3. Goes for “campy performative toughness” over “actual toughness” every time, like a drag king or also me

4. “Har har ‘lesbian urge to merge’ har har

Marissa: Who are you?
Ryan: Whoever you want me to be.
Marissa: Okay.

5. Has two styles of dress: Wifebeater only

Or at least five shirts/hoodies/leather jackets carefully layered over one another

6. A lesbian would make this face, idk, don’t @ me

7. Always wearing thin leather necklaces; in love with a straight girl

8. Always getting emotionally significant haircuts

9. Hates all his girlfriend’s friends

10. Whatever that kind of tank top is, where it’s almost sleeves but then at the last second isn’t, that’s lesbianism

11. Everyone he loves dies

12. Messenger bags

13. Best friend is a sensitive guy

14. Working-class and super-defensive

15. Dates a girl who plays in the school orchestra

16. Resents the male gaze particularly as it relates to his girlfriend

17. Has a lot of potential

18. Full of angst and surrounded by people who want to love him but damnit he just won’t let them in

19. Always slouching

20. Yeah man that’s how we dressed for Winter Formal too

ryan_lesbian

21. Come on

lesbian

22. “He at times appears burdened by an almost-compulsive need to rescue others at the expense of his own well-being, however, and is overly protective of Marissa and Theresa, his main love interests on the show”

23. “The fact that he rarely smiles or says much is something of a running joke among other members of the Cohen household; early in the first season when he first moves in with the Cohens, he often looks down and avoids making eye contact, likely a habit of self-preservation born out of his upbringing in an unstable home and would stiffen when hugged”

24. Ryan Atwood is a pretty dykey name, I will not explain further

25. “Ryan’s favorite fruit is peaches, and his favorite band is Journey” honestly the burden of proof is now on YOU to prove that Ryan Atwood ISN’T a lesbian

26. This is a picture of four lesbians, okay bye

Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.

Comments (64)

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+100 Vote up Vote down

RudyRed 124p · 474 weeks ago

Well I'm convinced.

+86 Vote up Vote down

tabbylavalamp 149p · 474 weeks ago

Let's not forget later in life when he and another lesbian were both in love with the same bisexual woman.

8 replies · active 474 weeks ago

+66 Vote up Vote down

ppyajunebug 137p · 474 weeks ago

11. Everyone he loves dies

Done, convinced, no need for further arguments.

I'd forgotten about those thin leather necklaces why oh why were they a thing. They're like the dude version of those weird black chokers that were briefly a thing in the early 2000s (the ones that sort of looked like tattoos but were 100% just ugly plastic loops but I thought looked SO DAMN COOL)

14 replies · active 473 weeks ago

+61 Vote up Vote down

catweazlol 142p · 474 weeks ago

You make some compelling arguments, but I have a different theory about Ryan's sexual proclivities.

5 replies · active 474 weeks ago

+18 Vote up Vote down

firstmute 116p · 474 weeks ago

Canon.

+91 Vote up Vote down

Chase · 474 weeks ago

As a die-hard OC fan I started this post feeling annoyed, progressed to feeling moved, ended up beaming, like I had been given a gift: the gift of this new way of loving Ryan.

+51 Vote up Vote down

Merripat 115p · 474 weeks ago

Was he photoshopped from sitting on a toilet in the first picture

+43 Vote up Vote down

blushingflower 116p · 474 weeks ago

Why is he wearing a collar? Was the OC secretly about D/s relationships and no one told me? (I never watched it)

+67 Vote up Vote down

beyoncepadthai1 132p · 474 weeks ago

Am I the only one who excitedly clicked on the Ryan Atwood tag only to be crushed there was nothing else in the Ryan Atwood archive :,(

Also #27: always wearing unbuttoned button-up shirts

+31 Vote up Vote down

beyoncepadthai1 132p · 474 weeks ago

Also Taylor Townsend was the best RA girlfriend

I won't even acknowledge Lindsay

2 replies · active 474 weeks ago

+15 Vote up Vote down

Catandrist 125p · 474 weeks ago

This is slightly off topic but I'm sure I read somewhere that The OC was available in its entirety on Netflix but it's not?!? So I made the mistake of watching the first episode on Amazon (the only one that's free) and now it's in my blood and I need to keep watching but where do I watch??

2 replies · active 468 weeks ago

+35 Vote up Vote down

falcofield 135p · 474 weeks ago

27. becomes a very moody and sexy cage fighter after girlfriend's death; may or may not include do cool punching stuff to placebo

2 replies · active 474 weeks ago

+57 Vote up Vote down

cellardoor10 90p · 474 weeks ago

I agree that Ryan Atwood is a very dykey name, and also sounds like the kind of name you could make up to hide your girlfriend to your not-so-sexually accepting relatives.

I definitely have never referred to a girlfriend as "Ryan" - nope, never happened. I also have definitely not continued to use that name as my imaginary fiance while traveling in a country where I got hit on a lot. Especially after the inspiration for "Ryan" and I broke up.

None of this is real.

+83 Vote up Vote down

green 113p · 474 weeks ago

(1) surname, atwood.

(2) [unrelated] holy shit you at winter formal you at formal at winter you you you.

+35 Vote up Vote down

theshehulkchef 126p · 474 weeks ago

"obviously a lot of these are tongue-in-cheek references to gay tropes I am not actually suggesting everyone a lesbian knows will die" might be one of the best tags I've ever seen

+15 Vote up Vote down

geekcrackteam 118p · 474 weeks ago

NGL Ryan would definitely be the name of a sexy lesbian. (ala Shane. I am here for women with masculine names.)

+14 Vote up Vote down

deleted7410012 111p · 474 weeks ago

i just read the title and was like, "yesssssss."

i just felt instantly that it was right and true.

+70 Vote up Vote down

hugpunch 130p · 474 weeks ago

27. Mainly expresses feelings by clenching and unclenching a very defined jawline

1 reply · active 474 weeks ago

+50 Vote up Vote down

mkpatter 114p · 474 weeks ago

Netflix could redeem itself right now after Fuller House by remaking the OC as it was meant to be remade, with actual lesbians.

+10 Vote up Vote down

catcet · 474 weeks ago

Question: Is The OC a show that a modern day Toastie would enjoy watching for the first time, or is it mostly a nostalgia thing at this point?

5 replies · active 469 weeks ago

+41 Vote up Vote down

cosetthetable 121p · 474 weeks ago

"obviously a lot of these are tongue-in-cheek references to gay tropes I am not actually suggesting everyone a lesbian knows will die"

if just because that would pretty well destroy the business plan of The Toast.

+83 Vote up Vote down

amoderngirl 101p · 474 weeks ago

His look appears to have been entirely modeled on Chloe Sevigny in If These Walls Could Talk 2.

1 reply · active 474 weeks ago

+25 Vote up Vote down

Kate · 474 weeks ago

That Winter Formal pic! HOLY BABE ALERT, SOMEONE SCOOT MY FAINTING COUCH BEHIND MY KNEES POSTHASTE

0 Vote up Vote down

riese · 464 weeks ago

omg

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