Hey, You Wanna Buy a Tote Bag? UPDATE: Sold Out -The Toast

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This would sound less jocular if I hadn’t loaded it and gone to bed confident in the power of democracy. Things are terrible.

Hi gang! So, we have our three beautiful totes (Mermaid (SOLD OUT, GONE FOREVER MINUS POSSIBLY A FEW STRAGGLERS I WILL MAKE AVAILABLE AFTER INVENTORY), Ship (SOLD OUT BUT BEING RE-ORDERED, YOU CAN STOP EMAILING ME NOW), and Spear (SOLD OUT, GONE FOREVER MINUS POSSIBLY A FEW STRAGGLERS I WILL MAKE AVAILABLE AFTER INVENTORY), now available for sale via our Shopify page. I’ve put nice shiny resolution close-ups of the artwork at the bottom of this page.

READ THIS FIRST

(if you are one of the eager beavers who found the storefront AFTER we took the password off in the middle of the night but BEFORE I discovered you and put it back on, read it now!):

Shipping is about five bucks domestically, but to make things simpler, we are charging $25 for a tote INCLUDING domestic shipping, and if you buy, like, ten totes, I’ll ship them in one big thing and if it costs less than sending them each individually, I’ll refund you some money.

If you are International (how classy of you!), just buy your tote like everyone else, and then I will shoot you an email (make sure you include your email when you order, I think you have to anyway, and if you can’t, email ME at nicole@the-toast.net) with what the additional costs will be for international shipping (since I will be doing international orders manually anyway, you can tell me if you prefer USPS or dogsled or if you want me to send fifty of them to one chick in London to distribute accordingly. I’m prepared to be very open-minded.) Some people are being charged $15 for international shipping, which is really $20, because the $25 tote cost INCLUDES five bucks worth of shipping credit, so we’ll refund or ask for more when we ship yours!

If you are Way Too Broke To Buy a Tote But Will Honestly Die Without One, we have a little Toast Totes Bursary cobbled together by the Editors and also Sweet Toasties who wanted to help, and you can email me your address and your preferred tote and I may be able to send you a freebie (we are on the honor system here, obviously.) If you want to contribute, please donate $25 or $50 to the usual place and I’ll know it’s what you meant, and you’ll be a true hero.

If you Woke Up and Didn’t Care About Totes But Where’s My Link Roundup? it is up half an hour later than usual today to give this post some space.

Yay! Go buy a tote! Domestic totes will be in the mail relatively soon, as I want them out of my entryway and the UPS Store is padded-envelope-stuffing them for me, but I AM cutting out shipping labels and taping them to said envelopes, so, you know, I want people to applaud my labours.

Here are some close-ups of the artwork:

MERMAID:
mermaid_final
SHIP:
take to the sea ship 8x9
SPEAR:
big_hair_no_heart_final

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Hey Nicole!

What if you were an International Eager Beaver and bought two totes + shipping? Will that work out or should I contact you about how to manage the shipping?
2 replies · active 409 weeks ago
I bought my tote before I read this post, because I was always the person who failed the part of the exam that said "READ THE INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION" and it charged me $15 for international shipping - do I still need to email you to find out if I need to pay more?
5 replies · active 457 weeks ago
I would but my money is worth nothing now.
5 replies · active 457 weeks ago
Is the site down for anyone else?
3 replies · active 457 weeks ago
If you are International and DIDN'T have space for an email address, just email me, nicole at the-toast dot net and I'll pull up your order and we'll figure it out. It'll be fine.
The surprise toast-tote early opening was a really necessary ray of not-awful for a lot of us this morning.

EDIT: which is to say, thank you Nicole for proving that! (there is always hope for eventual human progress, even if just toward Taking to the Sea with a tote bag, I guess?)
1 reply · active 457 weeks ago
Yay, happy birthday to me!! (OK it was Wednesday, but I have been waiting all week for this, it counts.)
you post shit this early EVERY DAY? oh. my. god.

(tote acquired. going back to bed.)
Woo, order for one mermaid tote placed! Thank you, Nicole.

(Everything else today is terrible, obviously, and the fact that the value of the pound has dropped makes buying stuff from abroad feel idiotic. But I am trying to block this out with retail therapy.)
I CANNOT WAIT FOR MY SPEAR TOTE.
Hooray! Thank you Nicole for getting this all set up for us!
6 replies · active 457 weeks ago
Yay! Tote ordered! I was so keen to be up and ready to buy one right at 8 am local time that my body kept waking me up every two hours all night. I'm so excited!! This must be what people who get Hamilton tickets feel like.

In other sadder news, Leave won?!?! UK toasties, I'm so sorry, that sounds like awful news. :(
1 reply · active 457 weeks ago
Yay, so excite, thank you for working so hard to get these to us! <3
goddammit nicole now i have "do you want to build a snowman" stuck in my head, but it's just a line about tote bags repeating over and over
Take to the Sea tote = purchased. I almost wish I'd bought two, one to use and one to hang on my wall to inspire me.
Dear UK: Ug, sorry. Nigel Farage is Council Titgristler Extraordinaire.
Because I'm insane, I seriously had a dream last night that I was late to work, it was one minute to Toast tote launch, and I still had to climb up 12 flights of stairs to get to my office. But I guess my fretting paid off OK: ship tote acquired! Thanks, Nicole and Marco!
1 reply · active 457 weeks ago
I donated to the tote fund but I did not see a memo option so just consider my $25 as going to the cause of totage!
2 replies · active 457 weeks ago
TOTE SECURED- one small shining light in a dark time
Hello, it is I, one of the eager beavers!

A bunch of us Australians are thinking of doing a bulk order, and I stuck my head over the parapet and volunteered to do the actual ordering and stuff. Would you be able to tell me the size of the totes, like what size envelope do you plan on putting them in? I'm trying to work out postage for when I send them onto people and it's doing my head in. If I have the dimensions I can figure out what kind of mailing satchels to buy and how much it'll cost to mail them.

It's 11pm here so I'm about to go sleep but THANK YOU for looking after us international readers!
2 replies · active 457 weeks ago
Bought a tote and it's finally starting to sink in how much things will suck after July 1, without a place to freak out and virtually hug one another. Reddit and Slack are great but just not the saaaaaame.
4 replies · active 457 weeks ago
Awwww I am too poor for this, but happy that I will now be able to identify the Toasties striding purposefully on the streets of London! They'll identify me by the knowing glint in my eye.
5 replies · active 457 weeks ago
I bought my take to the sea tote!! I will only use it to carry the most worthy of goods and it will always be free from purse sand, amen.
I can't afford a tote so I totally bought myself the Take To The Sea tote because it's all I want to do now.
I am very proud to say that I made my husband stand there and wait for me in the hotel while I ordered my Take to the Sea tote. I was not going to let this opportunity pass me by. TAKE TO THE SEA. If anyone in my new tiny town spots it I can make friends.
9 replies · active 457 weeks ago
I am never on top of acquiring highly sought after things but I got a tote, HOORAY. i put down my nursing infant daughter for a sec to go find my wallet and complete the purchase...either I'm horrible or she'll appreciate this when she's older.
6 replies · active 457 weeks ago
I literally snuck out of my house like a felon, left my screaming children with their father, so I could cycle to work early and SECURE A SHIP TOTE. mission accomplished.
Though my English husband is the one who really needs to take to the sea this am.
Commiserations, UK Toasties.. May tote bags succor you.
3 replies · active 457 weeks ago
My bestie totally already bought me the Take to the Sea tote ALREADY (am I super lucky?! YES I AM.) So I have sent a 25$ into the bursary. TOTES FOR ALL!
Waking up to Brexit and wondering who stepped on the butterfly.
1 reply · active 457 weeks ago
I'm just as bad a lawyer as Barry Zuckercorn, so I feel like having a tote that advertises the option of TAKING TO THE SEA to solve all your problems is as good as any legal advice I could give.
I am tote bagged up and ready to ROCK.
Thanks Nicole, Marco, and Sansa, the Toast Tote Triumvirate! Now I can take to the sea with a convenient carrying device to caption me.

(Hugs to UK Toasts and those affected, one day maybe we can all take to the sea together.)
I got the Misandry Mermaid and the Take to the Sea! They'll make good beach bags this summer.

Any UK Toasties taking to the sea, feel free to cross the pond, and we will welcome you with open arms.
Woke up to the shitty Brexit news, came to The Toast to commiserate, got reminded that I could purchase a tote - which will be my birthday gift to myself since The Toast is closing on my birthday - and now feel much better about the world. Thanks for making the totes a reality, Nicole and Marco. <3
I don't really use totes but I ordered one anyway. I will take to the sea, by golly.

Although I may start carrying the empty tote around as a way of detecting kindred spirits in any given area.
Or I'll just use it for groceries. Whichever.

I would like to add that I got extra joy from the fact that the official company name for the tote operation is Manderley, LLC.
1 reply · active 457 weeks ago
Toasties, you are all so kind it makes me want to cry a little bit. This is probably a surefire sign that I am overtired!
I've purchased a Take To The Sea tote and sent it back home even though I'll be abroad for a while yet. This has been a bright light at the end of a long day of following the Brexit vote and having an upsetting conversation with a (white) coworker who kept trying to tell another POC coworker and me what kinds of interactions we should consider racist. This began with her responding to our despondency about Brexit with an "isn't it interesting" anecdote about people who vote for racist policies but allegedly treat everyone with equal kindness.
As I live in the UK (but could not vote in the referendum), today seems an appropriate day for me to order a 'Take to the Sea' tote bag with my increasingly worthless money.
Oh wow, I want the Mermaid and Spear totes so much but don't get paid until monday. :-(
AUSTRALIANS WHO WISH TO GO IN ON A BULK ORDER:

I am organising a bulk order of totes! I have made a Google Form https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1j8ZyCrPGXR5v8vPu... and you can pay about $7.20 AUD shipping (I'm gonna buy flat rate prepaid post satchels) plus the cost of the tote. I will leave the form up until 8pm Sydney time on Sunday 26 June, after which I will order whatever totes you lovely folk have asked for. It's 11.30pm here so I'm going to bed but I'll be home all weekend and keeping an eye on it.
Tote acquired, my darling sister gets a very Toasty Misandrist Mermaid for her birthday this year. <3 Love and commiseration to all the UK Toasties.
1 reply · active 457 weeks ago
"How many totes does a person need" is the question, and I suspect the answer is, as in every fairy tale, 3.
3 replies · active 457 weeks ago
How can they be sold out already?! Please order more ship totes, I want one so badly!
NOOO "take to the sea" is already sold out!
This made me laugh though:
some text

1 reply · active 457 weeks ago
This is the only reason I am okay with having a 6:00 a.m. teleconference today, because I managed to secure a tote.

My thoughts are with those of you in the U.K.
I'm so confused - am I just the first in line after the Take To The Sea tote sold out, or...? It says they're unavailable, though as of 6 minutes ago y'all were buying them fine. DAMN THIS OVERSLEEPING. If I'd just gotten up 10 minutes earlier....

[ETA: Looks like I was, indeed, just four minutes too late, as now everyone else is reporting it's sold out. WHY GOD WHY]
1 reply · active 457 weeks ago
I wish I could buy another tote just to screencap PayPal asking if I want to return to Manderley.
1 reply · active 438 weeks ago
happysadcat's avatar

happysadcat · 457 weeks ago

Now I understand the utility of giant phones. My internet went out last night and I am using my Moto G. It's one of the modern Labors of Hercules to surf and shop with a smallish screen.
I'm sleepy and my thumbs ache, but I acquired a tote! I can hardly wait for it to arrive, accompanied by a giant dog. She is a gift-with-purchase, right?
Just tried to buy a Take To The Sea tote, but it sold out super fast! Will definitely buy if there's a second printing, assuming that doesn't also sell out in LESS THAN THIRTY MINUTES, damn.
1 reply · active 457 weeks ago

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