This would sound less jocular if I hadn’t loaded it and gone to bed confident in the power of democracy. Things are terrible.

Hi gang! So, we have our three beautiful totes (Mermaid (SOLD OUT, GONE FOREVER MINUS POSSIBLY A FEW STRAGGLERS I WILL MAKE AVAILABLE AFTER INVENTORY), Ship (SOLD OUT BUT BEING RE-ORDERED, YOU CAN STOP EMAILING ME NOW), and Spear (SOLD OUT, GONE FOREVER MINUS POSSIBLY A FEW STRAGGLERS I WILL MAKE AVAILABLE AFTER INVENTORY), now available for sale via our Shopify page. I’ve put nice shiny resolution close-ups of the artwork at the bottom of this page.

READ THIS FIRST

(if you are one of the eager beavers who found the storefront AFTER we took the password off in the middle of the night but BEFORE I discovered you and put it back on, read it now!):

Shipping is about five bucks domestically, but to make things simpler, we are charging $25 for a tote INCLUDING domestic shipping, and if you buy, like, ten totes, I’ll ship them in one big thing and if it costs less than sending them each individually, I’ll refund you some money.

If you are International (how classy of you!), just buy your tote like everyone else, and then I will shoot you an email (make sure you include your email when you order, I think you have to anyway, and if you can’t, email ME at nicole@the-toast.net) with what the additional costs will be for international shipping (since I will be doing international orders manually anyway, you can tell me if you prefer USPS or dogsled or if you want me to send fifty of them to one chick in London to distribute accordingly. I’m prepared to be very open-minded.) Some people are being charged $15 for international shipping, which is really $20, because the $25 tote cost INCLUDES five bucks worth of shipping credit, so we’ll refund or ask for more when we ship yours!

If you are Way Too Broke To Buy a Tote But Will Honestly Die Without One, we have a little Toast Totes Bursary cobbled together by the Editors and also Sweet Toasties who wanted to help, and you can email me your address and your preferred tote and I may be able to send you a freebie (we are on the honor system here, obviously.) If you want to contribute, please donate $25 or $50 to the usual place and I’ll know it’s what you meant, and you’ll be a true hero.

If you Woke Up and Didn’t Care About Totes But Where’s My Link Roundup? it is up half an hour later than usual today to give this post some space.

Yay! Go buy a tote! Domestic totes will be in the mail relatively soon, as I want them out of my entryway and the UPS Store is padded-envelope-stuffing them for me, but I AM cutting out shipping labels and taping them to said envelopes, so, you know, I want people to applaud my labours.

Here are some close-ups of the artwork:

MERMAID:

SHIP:

SPEAR: