Texts From Moby Dick -The Toast

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good God in heaven
what is this?
it is the whale
it is the whale!
Bellow all you like
this boat never sheers off from anything that wears the shape of a whale
it’s just me

Jesu Christ
lol you should have seen the look on your face
my face?
are you here?
are you in my cabin?

my God
I thought the old white bull was upon us at last
hey Ishmael
have i ever told you how to make soap out of whale oil

Captain, if you do not need me, I must go back to sleep
I shall need my rest for tomorrow’s hunt
did u know u can make margarine out of whale oil
I did not
who would have guessed
I do not know, Captain
so for starters
you actually have to hydrogenate it
which I know sounds crazy but that’s how you get rid of that fish smell
I see
you know that fish smell I mean
like what everything smells like right now

do you realize we could be back on Martha’s Vineyard in like six hours?
maybe eight
in less than a day we could be having dinner on Martha’s Vineyard

after we have slain the whale?
we could be there in eight hours, is all I’m saying

after you have burst the hot heart of the mighty whale
with spears and with knives and harpoons
and we bear its carcass triumphantly back to shore
it’s like always harpoons with you Ishmael

hey what are you doing
like right now

i am shrouded in blackness
in ten times black
i am tending to the oil vats and stripping the fat
that sounds awesome

Do you need something from me, Captain?
not really
I guess not

are you with Queequeg right now
he is in his bunk
recovering from his brush with death
cool cool
will you tell him I say hi?

it’s not a big deal or anything
you can make it sound casual

ask him what he’s doing for dinner
if he wants to have dinner in the captain’s quarters
with me obviously
like obviously I wouldn’t ask him to just have dinner by himself in a weird new part of the ship all alone

Is there any other message I should give him?
About the hunt tomorrow?
hunt tomorrow
For the whale
For the white whale
for the white whale, or the devil
yesss oh yes definitely
yes for sure that is still on

whales whales whales
I am super prepared for whales

I will tell him
Would you like me to ask him if he will attend the hunt, then?
oh my God
why so many Queequeg questions

you’re just
asking a lot of questions about him is all

it’s kind of like you’re obsessed with him or something

do you ever worry
that the whale is like
a metaphor

a metaphor?
me too
me too
do you wanna nail stuff to the mast?
be there in five

Sir, the crew begs that you leave off your mad pursuit
We are sick from it, we are sick to the point of perishing
We must return to port
terribly mad
I’m just mad for
revenge and so on

all types of revenge for my legs, and whatnot
just the leg
he only took the one leg right

Captain, I do not know what the whale took from you
oh I’m just
furious about it
the legs, I mean
and the whale

Did you know that the digestive organs of the whale are so inscrutably constructed that it is quite impossible for him to completely digest even a man’s arm?
I didn’t
well it’s true
think about that
think about that the next time you’re thinking about whales

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