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Texts From Samuel Coleridge

by Mallory Ortberg · May 5, 2016
good news i have written you another poem is it – don't worry it's VERY long and EXTREMELY unfinished oh good it's about what if a woman saw another woman take her coat off and it's 9000 lines wow it's so great that i can still write when i'm high and it doesn't affect my work
Poetry

Texts From Charles Bukowski

by Mallory Ortberg · July 1, 2015
As a young man I could not believe that people could give their lives over to those conditions. As an old man, I still can't believe it. what do you mean like going to work? What do they do it for? Sex? what no that's not why people go to work and you know it TV? i mean that's not the primary reason An automobile on monthly payments? Or children? yes obviously that is why most people go to their jobs is to pay their bills and also feed their families Children who are just going to do the same things that they did? are you honestly asking me to explain the circle of life to you right now “Hey, the boss can come in here at any moment and lay all of us off, just like that, don’t you realize that?” yes we all realize that

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