Seriously. The only reason I still work here is the fact that nobody else has any idea what it takes to do my job. Not that I don’t know what I’m doing, but what I do takes a lot less time they think it takes. 😉 Clients are just impressed that I have two computers (Mac & Windows) and that one of them has a really big screen, which they love to talk to me about.
EPWordsnatcher+6
Right click, save as, set as desktop background. DONE.
icebergmama+3
Hahahaha, I printed it out and stuck it on the wall (I have a pic of the BBs as my desktop I can’t part with).
anxious_mofo+4
sweet zombie Jesus all of these are me.
chnellociraptor+23
I feel like the first one a lot whenever I answer the phone or any emails at work. “Yes hi this is my job. I am employed to accomplish tasks which I then do.”
Emby+36
Shower beer! My god, I have earned it, haven’t I??
haleycrain+3
I think you have. You really have.
fondue with cheddar+8
I prefer shower doobs, myself.
meetapossum+2
How do you keep it from getting wet?
fondue with cheddar+2
Okay, technically they’re pre-shower doobs. Do they still count?
elsamac+2
It is possible to smoke in the shower without getting the cigarette (or, um, whatever) wet. It’s harder to keep the stream of water out of the ashtray in that little soap shelf, as my first partner and I discovered in our first apartment.
… what?
fondue with cheddar+1
Haha, finally…a good use for that soap shelf!
safvn+19
On the days when I don’t feel like Everyone Important and Worthwhile in the World lives in New York (and even on those days), I am very grateful to be paying $465 in rent for my apartment and being able to go to a wine bar on Friday nights without worrying about it.
Kelly+1
amen.
anninyn+4
Can the new-york one also apply to London? I am beginning to feel like anyone who want to do anything vaguely interesting in the UK has to live in London and I really don’t want to.
NicoleCliffe+26
No, you have to go live in London, that’s different. Sorry!
NicoleCliffe+26
Go right now. You have to go live in the pickle-looking building.
EPWordsnatcher+9
“Pickle”
anninyn+8
But… but…
Last time I went to London I spent the next week coughing the pollution out of my lungs and a man followed me from the tube
do I have to?? I’m not built for london. I live in a place where if you talk to someone on the bus they probably won’t murder you and use your skin as a fashionable and chic tote bag.
*puppy eyes*
(The Gherkin, Nicole, you are talking about The Gerkhin, though I’m sure it has an actual name)
Es_Petal+6
I work in the shadow of the pickle. (Two days a week, since I decided that one did NOT have to live in London, moved, and persuaded my boss that I was indispensable and could work from home three days a week.)
aekessler+3
Yes! I have been feeling the same way lately. Why do I have to pick a degree that requires it.
Janie_S+15
I am the youngest person in my yoga class. However I think this is cancelled out by my falling totally out of Triangle pose and nearly causing a horrible yoga domino effect …
pinkhuntress+1
I wonder why this site is exactly like the The Hairpin, but isn’t The Hairpin. (Not wondering). You guys broke away from The Hairpin, now you need to create your own flavor.
rkfire+14
What are you talking about? There’s like, 156439% more ghosts and creepy Lovecraftian stories.
malloryelis+38
Technically the Hairpin is just a ripoff of Steely Dan.
anxious_mofo+6
Hopefully with 30000% more touring.
(COME TO CLEVELAND WE ROCK)
NicoleCliffe+55
Oh, man. We were Mallory and Nicole at The Hairpin, now we’re Mallory and Nicole here. We’d be Mallory and Nicole if Jeff Bezos unwisely hired us to run The Washington Post.
We can only be ourselves, I guess is what I’m saying? We can only accept submissions we love, and write the posts we want to write.
malloryelis+57
This comment needed to find its own flavor. I found English to be a sadly predictable choice of language for this comment.
anninyn+17
You need to break away from being yourselves and find a new flavour.
(to be honest this site does have a different *feel* to me than the Hairpin and I actually prefer it. The longer pieces, the tendency towards creepyness whether in fiction or non-fiction all appeals to me a great deal. For me it’s like everything I liked from the hairpin without the stuff I didn’t, plus some new things. Keep up the good work)
10000 buckets+7
I still haven’t bothered to create an account over here, but I find that I’m spending more time in Toastland than in Hairpinland. Because The Toast posts more links to Facebook? Because Mallory & Nicole genuinely crack me up? Because I’m not 100% into some of the newer voices at the ‘pin? Because nobody judges if you cover toast in butter, but they side eye you like mad if you do so with a hairpin?
Never change, Toastland.
anninyn+10
I think Nicole and Mallory were my favourite over at The ‘Pin so it would make sense that they carried me away with them, like some chewing gum stuck to their shoe.
And yes. I have felt… detached from The Pin in recent times. I was a newish person over there any way and I’m not so keen on it’s new direction. It is a very fine direction, no doubt, but not really for me.
NicoleCliffe+19
This is totally an okay conversation to have, and I don’t want to squash people who initiate it, though. It can get very complicated: women’s blogs being similar, Edith having hired me because she thought my sensibility would be a good fit with The Hairpin (she was right), me loving writing for The Hairpin, your conception of what The Hairpin is being difficult to separate from the fact I was part of The Hairpin, me having decided to go my own way because I wanted to take the reins of my own horse-drawn carriage and to form a true partnership with Mallory and see what resulted from our unholy union.
And to get into things we do differently, or want to do differently, could very swiftly devolve into seeming critical of The Hairpin or its editorial choices, which is the last thing I would ever want to do in this space or any other. “The House of Mirth” is my favourite novel, but I’m glad there are other novels to read.
anninyn+4
Oh, of course. I was trying to express in my own halting, emotionally stunted way that I think you have created something different here. And that the similarities are as a result of both of you having been the sort of people who would *fit* over there if you see what I mean?
I guess I just think it’s a slightly rude thing to say. It is possible to be honest about the direction you think something is going without being dismissive about the efforts that have been made.
Or maybe I’m just oversensitive today. I did cry about everything today.
aekessler+2
This is the greatest union of all time!
haleycrain+18
In addition, I am Haley, a person who has never written/drawn for The Hairpin and hasn’t read it with any regularity over a year at least. (Not because it’s not wonderful, but because, life. But that’s beside the point.)
icebergmama+10
“We were Mallory and Nicole at The Hairpin, now we’re Mallory and Nicole here.”
EXACTLY and this is why I love it here. For what it’s worth I do think the Toast has a different feel, it’s not just a spin-off. As anninyn said below the tendency towards more longform, plus there’s fiction and humor that just isn’t on the Pin at all, and y’all don’t post any music or music videos… It’s just different! I think the comments may feel similar because so many of us came here from the Hairpin, so that might be confusing.
WibblyWobbly+9
I think the Post would definitely benefit from Mallory and Nicole. Jeff Bezos doesn’t know what he’s missing!
victorytasteslikehashbrowns+18
Aren’t we reading The Toast because we liked reading Nicole and Mallory on the Pin? Whatever.
I for one now want to read a highly sensationalzed fictional account called ‘Nicole and Mallory Break Away From The Hairpin’. There better be cave trolls.
victorytasteslikehashbrowns+20
And it’s not about them leaving the blog but an actual giant hairpin. Just to clarify.
Sea_Money+12
I have three thoughts: 1. I love The Toast! 2. The Hairpin is still one of the best places on the internet. 3. I miss Edith. Come back to the internet soon, Edith!
whizzdumb+4
I don’t think pinkhuntress knows what the word ‘exactly’ exactly means. Or I’m just not a fan of hyperbole used to make an opinion I wholly disagree with. And that’s fine, if I know Mallory–which I slightly do–a dissenting, stir-stick of a voice is welcomed with defiantly crossed arms.
mittenstheboar+1
Can I print these out and frame these?
chnellociraptor+4
Yeah! Haley Crain, do you have a print store of some kind?
haleycrain+8
I do not, but I’ve thought about it! Keep watchful eyes on The Toast (as you are already doing, of course, at all times) and if I open one I’ll link in a future comic 🙂
whizzdumb+11
I am definitely an advocate for the shower beer. To be on the forefront I’m upping my shower alcohol consumption. 2 beers during one shower…and a shot. I’m giving the term “wet bar” a new–more appropriate–meaning.
coaltarepoxy+17
The first one is so accurate it’s scary. I was asked to describe my job at a career night, “Um, I do stuff and apparently am an expert on a certain software.” I click buttons until it does want I want it to do.
icebergmama+4
My old ad rep used to tell me to “Adobe it” because he liked to joke that that was the extent of his understanding of the graphic design process: “Here’s an order for a car ad, go ahead and Adobe it.”
haleycrain+8
Ha! Lots of people use “Photoshop it” in the same way but without the self-awareness of your ad rep. My favorite is when someone wants to Photoshop a video.
icebergmama+6
I did once have a client who asked if we could change the black & white photo she’d supplied us with to color… o_O
blushingflower+6
My boss actually described my job on the project as “everything else”. As in “A does X, B does Y, C does Z and blushingflower does everything else”. This is a fairly accurate description.
rubelang+9
I’m predicting an uptick in the sales of beer shower caddies.
haleycrain+9
The great thing about a beer shower caddy is that many regular shower caddies are already beer shower caddies!!
And beer is good for your hair. So sayeth the DIY all natural cosmetics books. So if you get confused and pour it on your head…NBD.
rubelang+2
No wonder your hair is so pretty and shiny.
mkpatter+7
I initially read the author name as “Harry Crane” and got excited but then I remembered it’s Paul Kinsey who joined the Hare Krishna.
mamacitaconpistoles+8
I feel I have always earned my shower beer.
lonely cheese+5
And even if I feel I haven’t exactly earned it, I still feel I deserve it, you know?
amativus+18
Once, when I had really, really earned it, I had shower champagne. My whole life has gone downhill from that moment.
franceschances+3
The day I get a new job, I know what I’m doing. Thanks!
roxythroatpunch+1
God damn do I miss shower beers. And, more accurately to my former non-pregnant life, shower wine.
Elsa
It is possible to smoke in the shower without getting the cigarette (or, um, whatever) wet. It's harder to keep the stream of water out of the ashtray in that little soap shelf, as my first partner and I discovered in our first apartment.
… what?
WibblyWobbly+12
Last winter one day I got home wet and cold and snowy and took a shower and mr wibblywobbly brought me a SHOWER HOT BUTTERED RUM.
haley_cue+3
Ummm how fucking cute is this/are you? I am also designer. I do a job and things. We have the same name. Hello!
I smell bread.+2
Contrary to what Melis and/or Nicole may want us to believe, shower beer/wine/etc. is totally safe. This is why those travel coffee mugs were invented, as far as I’m concerned.
amitygardens
Yes! I have been feeling the same way lately. Why do I have to pick a degree that requires it.
OMG That first one is me.
Seriously. The only reason I still work here is the fact that nobody else has any idea what it takes to do my job. Not that I don’t know what I’m doing, but what I do takes a lot less time they think it takes. 😉 Clients are just impressed that I have two computers (Mac & Windows) and that one of them has a really big screen, which they love to talk to me about.
Right click, save as, set as desktop background. DONE.
Hahahaha, I printed it out and stuck it on the wall (I have a pic of the BBs as my desktop I can’t part with).
sweet zombie Jesus all of these are me.
I feel like the first one a lot whenever I answer the phone or any emails at work. “Yes hi this is my job. I am employed to accomplish tasks which I then do.”
Shower beer! My god, I have earned it, haven’t I??
I think you have. You really have.
I prefer shower doobs, myself.
How do you keep it from getting wet?
Okay, technically they’re pre-shower doobs. Do they still count?
It is possible to smoke in the shower without getting the cigarette (or, um, whatever) wet. It’s harder to keep the stream of water out of the ashtray in that little soap shelf, as my first partner and I discovered in our first apartment.
… what?
Haha, finally…a good use for that soap shelf!
On the days when I don’t feel like Everyone Important and Worthwhile in the World lives in New York (and even on those days), I am very grateful to be paying $465 in rent for my apartment and being able to go to a wine bar on Friday nights without worrying about it.
amen.
Can the new-york one also apply to London? I am beginning to feel like anyone who want to do anything vaguely interesting in the UK has to live in London and I really don’t want to.
No, you have to go live in London, that’s different. Sorry!
Go right now. You have to go live in the pickle-looking building.
“Pickle”
But… but…
Last time I went to London I spent the next week coughing the pollution out of my lungs and a man followed me from the tube
do I have to?? I’m not built for london. I live in a place where if you talk to someone on the bus they probably won’t murder you and use your skin as a fashionable and chic tote bag.
*puppy eyes*
(The Gherkin, Nicole, you are talking about The Gerkhin, though I’m sure it has an actual name)
I work in the shadow of the pickle. (Two days a week, since I decided that one did NOT have to live in London, moved, and persuaded my boss that I was indispensable and could work from home three days a week.)
Yes! I have been feeling the same way lately. Why do I have to pick a degree that requires it.
I am the youngest person in my yoga class. However I think this is cancelled out by my falling totally out of Triangle pose and nearly causing a horrible yoga domino effect …
I wonder why this site is exactly like the The Hairpin, but isn’t The Hairpin. (Not wondering). You guys broke away from The Hairpin, now you need to create your own flavor.
What are you talking about? There’s like, 156439% more ghosts and creepy Lovecraftian stories.
Technically the Hairpin is just a ripoff of Steely Dan.
Hopefully with 30000% more touring.
(COME TO CLEVELAND WE ROCK)
Oh, man. We were Mallory and Nicole at The Hairpin, now we’re Mallory and Nicole here. We’d be Mallory and Nicole if Jeff Bezos unwisely hired us to run The Washington Post.
We can only be ourselves, I guess is what I’m saying? We can only accept submissions we love, and write the posts we want to write.
This comment needed to find its own flavor. I found English to be a sadly predictable choice of language for this comment.
You need to break away from being yourselves and find a new flavour.
(to be honest this site does have a different *feel* to me than the Hairpin and I actually prefer it. The longer pieces, the tendency towards creepyness whether in fiction or non-fiction all appeals to me a great deal. For me it’s like everything I liked from the hairpin without the stuff I didn’t, plus some new things. Keep up the good work)
I still haven’t bothered to create an account over here, but I find that I’m spending more time in Toastland than in Hairpinland. Because The Toast posts more links to Facebook? Because Mallory & Nicole genuinely crack me up? Because I’m not 100% into some of the newer voices at the ‘pin? Because nobody judges if you cover toast in butter, but they side eye you like mad if you do so with a hairpin?
Never change, Toastland.
I think Nicole and Mallory were my favourite over at The ‘Pin so it would make sense that they carried me away with them, like some chewing gum stuck to their shoe.
And yes. I have felt… detached from The Pin in recent times. I was a newish person over there any way and I’m not so keen on it’s new direction. It is a very fine direction, no doubt, but not really for me.
This is totally an okay conversation to have, and I don’t want to squash people who initiate it, though. It can get very complicated: women’s blogs being similar, Edith having hired me because she thought my sensibility would be a good fit with The Hairpin (she was right), me loving writing for The Hairpin, your conception of what The Hairpin is being difficult to separate from the fact I was part of The Hairpin, me having decided to go my own way because I wanted to take the reins of my own horse-drawn carriage and to form a true partnership with Mallory and see what resulted from our unholy union.
And to get into things we do differently, or want to do differently, could very swiftly devolve into seeming critical of The Hairpin or its editorial choices, which is the last thing I would ever want to do in this space or any other. “The House of Mirth” is my favourite novel, but I’m glad there are other novels to read.
Oh, of course. I was trying to express in my own halting, emotionally stunted way that I think you have created something different here. And that the similarities are as a result of both of you having been the sort of people who would *fit* over there if you see what I mean?
I guess I just think it’s a slightly rude thing to say. It is possible to be honest about the direction you think something is going without being dismissive about the efforts that have been made.
Or maybe I’m just oversensitive today. I did cry about everything today.
This is the greatest union of all time!
In addition, I am Haley, a person who has never written/drawn for The Hairpin and hasn’t read it with any regularity over a year at least. (Not because it’s not wonderful, but because, life. But that’s beside the point.)
“We were Mallory and Nicole at The Hairpin, now we’re Mallory and Nicole here.”
EXACTLY and this is why I love it here. For what it’s worth I do think the Toast has a different feel, it’s not just a spin-off. As anninyn said below the tendency towards more longform, plus there’s fiction and humor that just isn’t on the Pin at all, and y’all don’t post any music or music videos… It’s just different! I think the comments may feel similar because so many of us came here from the Hairpin, so that might be confusing.
I think the Post would definitely benefit from Mallory and Nicole. Jeff Bezos doesn’t know what he’s missing!
Aren’t we reading The Toast because we liked reading Nicole and Mallory on the Pin?
Whatever.
I for one now want to read a highly sensationalzed fictional account called ‘Nicole and Mallory Break Away From The Hairpin’. There better be cave trolls.
And it’s not about them leaving the blog but an actual giant hairpin. Just to clarify.
I have three thoughts: 1. I love The Toast! 2. The Hairpin is still one of the best places on the internet. 3. I miss Edith. Come back to the internet soon, Edith!
I don’t think pinkhuntress knows what the word ‘exactly’ exactly means. Or I’m just not a fan of hyperbole used to make an opinion I wholly disagree with. And that’s fine, if I know Mallory–which I slightly do–a dissenting, stir-stick of a voice is welcomed with defiantly crossed arms.
Can I print these out and frame these?
Yeah! Haley Crain, do you have a print store of some kind?
I do not, but I’ve thought about it! Keep watchful eyes on The Toast (as you are already doing, of course, at all times) and if I open one I’ll link in a future comic 🙂
I am definitely an advocate for the shower beer. To be on the forefront I’m upping my shower alcohol consumption. 2 beers during one shower…and a shot. I’m giving the term “wet bar” a new–more appropriate–meaning.
The first one is so accurate it’s scary. I was asked to describe my job at a career night, “Um, I do stuff and apparently am an expert on a certain software.” I click buttons until it does want I want it to do.
My old ad rep used to tell me to “Adobe it” because he liked to joke that that was the extent of his understanding of the graphic design process: “Here’s an order for a car ad, go ahead and Adobe it.”
Ha! Lots of people use “Photoshop it” in the same way but without the self-awareness of your ad rep. My favorite is when someone wants to Photoshop a video.
I did once have a client who asked if we could change the black & white photo she’d supplied us with to color… o_O
My boss actually described my job on the project as “everything else”. As in “A does X, B does Y, C does Z and blushingflower does everything else”. This is a fairly accurate description.
I’m predicting an uptick in the sales of beer shower caddies.
The great thing about a beer shower caddy is that many regular shower caddies are already beer shower caddies!!
And beer is good for your hair. So sayeth the DIY all natural cosmetics books. So if you get confused and pour it on your head…NBD.
No wonder your hair is so pretty and shiny.
I initially read the author name as “Harry Crane” and got excited but then I remembered it’s Paul Kinsey who joined the Hare Krishna.
I feel I have always earned my shower beer.
And even if I feel I haven’t exactly earned it, I still feel I deserve it, you know?
Once, when I had really, really earned it, I had shower champagne. My whole life has gone downhill from that moment.
The day I get a new job, I know what I’m doing. Thanks!
God damn do I miss shower beers. And, more accurately to my former non-pregnant life, shower wine.
It is possible to smoke in the shower without getting the cigarette (or, um, whatever) wet. It's harder to keep the stream of water out of the ashtray in that little soap shelf, as my first partner and I discovered in our first apartment.
… what?
Last winter one day I got home wet and cold and snowy and took a shower and mr wibblywobbly brought me a SHOWER HOT BUTTERED RUM.
Ummm how fucking cute is this/are you? I am also designer. I do a job and things. We have the same name. Hello!
Contrary to what Melis and/or Nicole may want us to believe, shower beer/wine/etc. is totally safe. This is why those travel coffee mugs were invented, as far as I’m concerned.
Yes! I have been feeling the same way lately. Why do I have to pick a degree that requires it.
This is the greatest union of all time!