How to Write the Bio for Your Lifestyle Blog

by Haley Crain · September 3, 2013

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Haley Crain

Haley Crain

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67 Comments

    1. roxythroatpunch +8

      This was going to be the entirety of my comment, except mine was going to be italicized.

    3. haleycrain +19

      She’s the holy pinnacle of dewy skin and kale-fed babies to which all other mommy lifestyle bloggers aspire.

      1. meanchelled +7

        goop knows the value of a great cocktail or 30 and for that I would let her abs take me on a years-long glamping trip and never let me go.

  9. ipomoea +25

    Thank you for encapsulating everything that makes me crazy about these people and for doing it better than I ever could (aka “didn’t end it by screaming EFFING SELF-RIGHTEOUS ASSCLOWNS and shoving handfuls of mini marshmallows into my mouth in a fruitless attempt to calm my rage”)

    1. icebergmama +21

      Tell me more about your marshmallow-based rage-management strategy – do you have a newsletter I can subscribe to?

      1. ipomoea +17

        I learned it from my toddler: many things are solved with the application of miniature marshmallows.

  10. meghan +31

    Oh man this resonates so much since I just finished Homeward Bound by Emily Matchar which is about the new domesticity. And this is everyone interviewed for that book, basically. Except you forgot to add that Jezedianah and Ayberleeann are homeschooled and aren’t vaccinated.

    1. lyetteann +8

      I’m baffled by the idea of the “new domesticity,” possibly because almost everyone I know grew up in families where people still sewed, knitted, canned, and grew vegetables. They weren’t lost arts to be rediscovered; they were things that saved money.

      1. thesweetandlowdown +14

        And the things poor/working class people have done forever in order to get by have now become lifestyle choices for the upper middle class in many parts of the country.

        It’s funny to remember now that eating out and buying pre-made clothes were once luxuries that only the rich could afford. Now dining at fast food places and getting clothes at Walmart are the only option for many people.

      2. meghan +2

        It is so baffling, but I thought the book was a really thorough examination of it on many different levels and makes a really sound argument that this “new domesticity” is still problematic but for vastly different reasons than the 1960’s era domesticity.

        1. lyetteann +3

          Oh, okay, that sounds like something I’d be interested in! For some reason I had the impression that it was an uncritical look at millennial trends.

  11. supernintendo +15

    I can’t tell you how much I love this. Perfectly done. Definitely hearing a little of the Pioneer Woman in here.

    1. supernintendo +24

      Also, why do they always have to be married with the kid??? I believe you can make pasta from scratch even if you’re single. You probably have more free time to do it, too.

      1. Yet To Register +10

        it’s #humblebragging about your resources: time, money, access to liberal values, ability to send that kid to college or to the peace corps. got to flaunt those resources because yeah of course most single people can make pasta less stressfully than people with four kids under ten

        …guys am i hashtagging right

      2. ipomoea +11

        What they don’t tell you is that their precious Gladalynn Cedar is zoned out on PBS kids for six hours a day (not that I did that with my kid while canning last week, no).

      4. msjinxie +4

        I learned recently (and of course I can’t remember the source – I’ll see if I can dig it up, because it was interesting) that many popular lifestyle bloggers are Mormon, and getting married on the young side and having kids is a not-uncommon practice for peeps in the LDS church.

        1. lyetteann +5

          Yeah, I must shamefully admit that whenever I read a post from a mother who seems to be 100% on top of every aspect of her life, I start looking around the site for LDS links.

      5. rebeccacsjanzen +2

        totally agree! I think I have much more free time without kids/time that is undesignated until I choose to designate in a certain way.

    2. MilesofMountain +9

      For it to be Pioneer Woman you’d have to have a whole frickin’ Harlequin Romance novel-esq blog series written about her cutesily nick-named husband and their romance.

    3. QuadsForDays +2

      Oh, thank you. I do not worship the Pioneer Woman and I may be the only one of my friends who doesn’t. her recipes are amazing but I am convinced that she lives on the scent of them because even the best metabolism couldn’t cook like that and still be model thin.

      1. YLemonnier +4

        No clue. I mean, it’s a very pretty blog, but how can that possibly be real? (Either in the sense that it’s not complete fiction, or that it’s an achievable lifestyle when you don’t have a significant amount of passive income.)

        1. Adventure_Club +17

          I can’t really reconcile the image that blogs like that present with the kind of personality I think it would take to create them. If you were really that earthy and barefoot and zen, would you be fussy and perfectionist enough to take zillions of pictures of your artfully arranged children and fresh white curtains and pickling vegetables?

      2. YLemonnier +12

        A bit of (admittedly creepy) Google-stalking tells me she’s a doula and a seamstress.

        Also, “My beauty product of choice is…sun, water, sleep and exercise.”

        OH COME ONNNNNNNN

    3. haleycrain +7

      I’m glad that people are reminded of a bunch of different blogs when they read this. I was scared my actual #1 source of material would be too obvious, and thus too mean. Nobody’s hit it yet though!

        1. haleycrain +3

          I like the word DISH too. But I shan’t! I don’t wanna skewer anyone in particular. I’d rather giggle vaguely from afar, while acknowledging my slight underlying jealousy!

          1. YLemonnier +2

            I think that’s a good approach, my gossipy tendencies notwithstanding!

            And yes, the jealousy. I admit to having it.

  13. Standard Tuber +14

    I find the most heinous bios are the ones that start with “I was stuck in a rut – working too many long hours for a boss that didn’t acknowledge my attention to detail – and suddenly I decided to start my own lifestyle blog which has led to my Personal Brand and you can too!”

    1. gojetta +5

      That reminds me of ohsheglows.com – the name of that blog just makes me want to punch someone in the face. It’s about how she was a miserable and regular-sized person until she became vegan. Good recipes, though.

  14. Sarah Sawyer +1

    You are my new s/hero. This is the best thing I’ve read in FOREVAH! (Why don’t I love the Avett Bros. more? Why? )

    1. haleycrain +3

      It’s okay Sarah Sawyer, whom I love! I don’t love the Avett Brothers at all! But I’m aware that this is a slightly unpopular opinion.

  15. fondue with cheddar +3

    This is perfect.

    My boyfriend had some mildly interesting adventures in his teens thanks to his hippie mom, including a month-long wilderness survival retreat and traveling across the country with bikers. I suspect this was well-meaning but also a way to get him out of her hair for awhile. He had an interesting childhood.

  16. logicbutton +7

    Re: mountain of disposable income, where do they get it? Since they seem to be all about socially- and environmentally-conscious living, do they and/or their husbands actually have jobs that pay ridiculously well and don’t exploit the shit out of people (and if that’s the case, are there any openings?), or are they all giant hypocrites?

    1. thebellewitch +3

      I remember that Pioneer Woman’s husband is part of a really old and well-off ranching family, which isn’t precisely clear in what I’ve read of her blog, which seems to make them out as more simple country folk (or at least used to). I don’t know how the rest of these people live.

    2. msjinxie +17

      I’m pretty sure in most cases it’s “the husband makes sick money”, though family money is also a possibility, like thebellewitch mentioned with Pioneer Woman.
      And you know what? It doesn’t bother me that so many of these lifestyle bloggers are wealthy – it bothers me that they’re so hush-hush about it. Obviously, it’s none of my business how much they have in the bank BUT when so much of what they post is DIY-this, or down-home-folksy-that, or we’re-getting-back-to-simplicity-bullcrap, well, it’s just so disingenuous! Yes, sure, anyone of us could quit our boring day jobs in pursuit of a Life Well Lived…if we have a partner making 6 figures or a trust fund that’s just come due.

      1. emily_white +5

        See also: “family cooking blogs” whose recipes actually require being at home watching pots all day, and the pots are full of European butter and free-range organic handmade artisanal sausages. But it’s the ONLY way to eat [food], and once I found this method, I just felt TERRIBLE serving my family anything else.

    3. estellefirefly +2

      Bloggers can also make significant amounts of money off of adds on their blogs as well as those little links to what they wore or used in the post. They get paid for each click that leads to a sale on the sites they link to. I read an article about it recently that was specifically about fashion bloggers, but there’s a great deal of crossover. That’s why their “brand” is so important. Brand=bank.