1. “omigod”: Used to signify either great love for something, shock at its existence, or as a polite way to respond to something for which one’s legitimate response might be impolitic.
2. “perffff”: Used to acknowledge that the arrangement proposed by the recipient is acceptable and they should proceed forward with said plan.
3. “kkkkkk”: Used to express that the sender now understands what the recipient has been attempting to explain.
4. “lol”: Used when forwarding things from people who are being dicks, but the sender thinks the point should nonetheless be examined.
5. “You have to, I can’t even”: Used to request that the recipient assist the sender in extracting the sender from an awkward or untenable situation.
6. “NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE”: Used to register extreme discomfort, frequently accompanied by a gif of an octopus skittering away.
7. “Okay, but only if I can leave early”: Used when the sender doesn’t want to go out, but has been asked to by someone the sender feels comfortable with.
8. “Okay”: Used to signify that the sender hates the recipient, or, more likely, is simultaneously chastened and irritated by what the recipient has just said.
9. “I guess?”: Used to signify that the sender in no way agrees with what the recipient is saying.
10. “RIGHT?”: Used to express delight that someone agrees with the sender’s mildly-controversial utterance about a thing most people like or dislike.
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Tags: email, the internet, the way we are now
NOPETOPUS
My spirit animal.
noooooo, don’t say “spirit animal,” don’t do it
Say patronus!
ALL HAIL NOPETOPUS.
I knew that my best work friend would BE my Best Work Friend when I said, “Have you ever seen the Nopetopus?” and she said, “I have never heard it called that but I know exactly what you mean.”
She also got my RPF reference yesterday, which no one else in Real Life would get. Destined to be friends for life.
“Yeah/OK/k”
sender agrees with recipient with varying degree of reluctance from none to mild
“Yes.”
Sender reluctantly gives in to recipient but wants recipient to know sender is now contemplating setting recipient on fire.
Yes/Yeah/yep/yup, okay/ok/mmk/kk/k
All these things exist on a spectrum, and each has its own nuances of meaning. My mother either refuses to or just straight up doesn’t understand this.
Re: “Yes.” See also: “Fine.”
The period is so important!
“YES.”
Sender has gas can and match in hand.
“Yes!”
Sure, that legitimately sounds good.
“YES!”
Congratulations, you finally figured out this very simple thing.
“YES!!!”
Sender will be your new best friend.
Yes! 🙂 These are all so great.
“uggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”: everything is garbage and I have no willingness to move from my fetal position on the floor
Similarly, ad;lkajdlkfja
But “ad;lkajdlkfja” is also the perfect response to something so amazingly perfect that you are at a loss for words, for example, the final chapter of a long-in-progress Harry Potter fanfiction.
“lololololololol” – something is very very funny
“lololollloLOLOLldjaldkjf” – something is the funniest that anything could ever be
And I used to be all language-snobby about “LOL.” I used to IM my friends in full, grammatically correct, capitalized and punctuated sentences. Lolololol how times have changed.
I used to look with disdain on emoticons and vow I would never use them. How times have changed. Now I’m not only all “:)” and “:(” and “0_o” but I’m even like “:)))))))))))))” when the occasion warrants.
Our future generations will thank you. Im imagining high school kids 400 years from now puzzling over IMs the way we look at Shakespeare. As in “how do you pronounce kkkkk?”
We have created a dialect that can’t actually be spoken out loud.
Which I actually find SUPER-FASCINATING, and if I were a linguist I would look into how that comes about and how it relates to/replaces body language & facial expressions (& also the gatekeeping inherent in requiring “proper” English over Internet English). But I’m not, so I won’t.
Is anyone else really bothered by “Ok”? Not “OK” or “Okay,” those are fine–just “Ok.” Whenever I see it, I hear “OCK”.
I really hate “K,” just the one k. For one, I always hear it in sarcastic italics (“‘kay. . .) and for another, I still use a flip phone. So if you text me, I can’t just glance at my phone and see that you got my message. I have to take it all the way out of my bag and open it up for your lazy ass “k”. It’s not worth it. Just write a whole sentence, or wait until we are physically in the same and then nod at me.
My boyfriend does the “k” response ALL THE TIME. He does it in email, too! If it’s important, please respond and let me know you got my text. But if not, don’t reply!
ETA: If it’s important that I know you got my text, that is.
I do too. Even worse is when it’s written out that way in dialogue and I have to envision whatever poor character it is going “Ock, that sounds good.”
I can forgive “Ok” on smartphones because changing the capitalization is kind of a pain.
I prefer “okay,” myself. Unless I’m in a hurry.
“Grr. Argh” – I would rather be chased by a Zompire than deal with the shit I have to shovel today.
I am intimately familiar with #7.
My boyfriend ALWAYS replies “k”, even to texts that don’t need a response, causing me to check my phone in case there’s something important.
He also replies “k” to emails from his phone, which is frustrating when I’m checking my email on the computer, because single-character replies get put beyond the trim in the Gmail window, so it looks like there’s no text in his reponse and I’m all confused, then I click the little button and all that’s there is “k”, which is especially annoying when the email he’s replying to is something like, “Here is an article I thought you might enjoy.”
For me this would be a relationship ender.
It’s tough. He has a lot of annoying habits, and unfortunately he’s proving to be an old dog who can’t learn new tricks. But he’s great in a lot of important ways, so I stick with him. And go slowly nuts.
RIGHT?
I’m a shameless abuser of emoticons.
My two favorites:
“:D” – I am trolling you/whatever you sent me was satisfactory.
“:3” – I am trolling you/I need you to do something for me.
O.O
-.-
O.O
I always thought :3 was an animal face. It looks like a walrus.
whut. – Deliberately understated expression of moderate to severe horror at the previous message. Typically followed by WHUT. See also: what. WHAT.
see also: WUT.
I also like: what even.
Can anyone explain to an old lady why The Kids add extra letters to their words, a la Nicole’s “perfff”? My teenage nieces do it all the time when they text me, but I don’t do it back because I don’t want to be the Amy Poehler character in Mean Girls (only about extra letters instead of breasts and sexy dancing).
it’s just emphasis, if I’m understanding it correctly! for me, “ohhhhhh my goddddddd” conveys a moaning of the ohhhh and a shuddering during the godddddddd.
“Totes” – a stunted I Love You Man reference, or infuriatingly satisfying way to abbreviate a word that is mostly utilized by teenage girls but I can’t stop myself from overusing and I’m almost 25?
My best friend and I had the same realization (re: totes) and we’re both over 25. We started using it ironically, then in a self-aware way where we would over-abbreviate everything including totes, so that “totally awesome” became “totes awesome” became “totes oss” became “toes oss” became “toe sauce”.
Toe sauce is now a regular part of our joint vocabulary.
KAY
"duck" or "ducking" – sender's attempt at angry profanity is completely undermined by the sheer ridiculousness of the substitution
The kids I used to look after in Paris say "ock" instead of "oui" when they're being stroppy and preternaturally adolescent. So for me, it's always got that slamming-doors-why-would-you-MAKE-me-eat-this-green-thing-I-HATE-you quality.