Why not? Brought to you by Motivational Biden. Tell us what motivates you, or what apathetizes* you, your choice.
*That’s a word I just made up. Because I was motivated.
Tags: meta, open thread, wednesday
Why not? Brought to you by Motivational Biden. Tell us what motivates you, or what apathetizes* you, your choice.
*That’s a word I just made up. Because I was motivated.
Tags: meta, open thread, wednesday
Long term lurker, first time commenter… I apologize if this comes off super spammy, it isn’t promise! But it is shameless self promotion.
I represent a startup that’s in beta, and in an effort to get new users we’re giving away a $300 Etsy gift card to the person that creates the contestant that creates the most “buzz” between now and Nov. 15th. FrameBuzz allows easily host discussions on your personal blog or website, and invite readers, followers and friends to join you in the conversation– like an electronic watch party.
Lots of new features are on the way, but more bodies help us with feedback and getting the funding to make it a reality.
Go here to enter: contest.io/c/dcltwi61
Good luck!
OH GOOD. I am so bored today. It feels like Thursday.
American Horror Story: Coven starts tonight! Who’s excited for some witchy action?
OH MY GOD I AM SO EXCITED FOR AHS.
Although if it is the slightest bit misogynistic I will be so, so, so disappointed.
It’s gotta be better than last year, though, right?
I was DISTRESSED this morning when I woke up and realized it was Wednesday, not Friday or Saturday.
Is Adam Levine still on that show? He is maybe really sexy, I can’t tell! – Joe Biden
I almost forgot he was in season 2 at all.
I’m (dispassionately, objectively) curious about how they’ll fulfill their per-episode quota of naked dude-butt without Dermot McButtcheeks and his fellows around to strip off.
I don’t actually get any thrill from the show’s nekkid-nekkid tendencies, but it does warm my heart to see a little Female Gaze in action.
I have not watched either of the first two season, but I love me some witches, so will probably set the Tivo for tonight, at the very least.
I am also, however, kind of wimp and have extra-vivid dreams when I’m pregnant, so this may not be the BEST plan I’ve ever had.
I’m having a ridiculously boring day too. I’ve been stuck at work for… 5 hours now. And this is all I’ve done so far:
http://i.imgur.com/30JxVjS.jpg
Oh but those are awesome!!! Well done!
Worth it. Never change. You are amazing! – Joe Biden
That is a serious accomplishment. I’m in awe of anyone who can even get their nail polish to dry without messing it up, let alone people who can make nifty designs.
Seriously. I can’t even paint my toes without getting polish all over my feet, so I long ago gave up trying to paint my own fingernails.
I’m pretty okay with my toes, but I’m terrible about fingernails. Even when I paint my nails while watching a movie, so as to have something entertaining that doesn’t involve moving my hands, I always manage to do something that messes them up.
Yesterday was my birthday, and it was an emotional horrorshow of epic proportions that I just don’t want to go into (sorry) and I basically cried all day.
Today I went to lunch with my coworkers to celebrate my birthday (and my almost-twin coworker’s the day before mine) and my boss insisted on picking up my tab and I ate CRAB LEGS and they were fucking delicious.
What motivates me? Fear, guilt, greed and hunger, not necessarily in that order. yeah maybe I’m still not quite over yesterday.
You have triplets! There is nothing you can’t accomplish! This will be your best year ever! – Joe Biden
Happy belated birthday!!!
lest you think me awful, I did order the crab legs BEFORE he insisted on paying.
No shame.
Happy belated!! 😀
I’m sorry you were upset on your birthday, that’s a bummer. At least there were delicious free crab legs!
Yes yes, happy belated birthday, Bergie!! It sounds like today was much, much better.
Happy (slightly belated) birthday! I think you are awesome and am very glad you went and got born all those years ago!
Crying on your birthday earns you an upgrade, if desired, to celebrating for the next seven days. Happy birthweek!
I am going to use this rule, btw.
Happy birthweek, Bergie dear. We love you much.
Happy birthday indeed, to you, who deserves to be happy every day. Birthdays are days of melancholy, reflection and truly horracious upheaval at the best of times, but I am sorry this one sucked. All will be well and all will be well and all manner of things will be well – T.S. Eliot’s twitter account.
Happy Birthday! You deserve crab;)
A+ birthday lunch, would drool again.
Hope you’re on the way to feeling better about your bday. Internet hugs from Sydney. <3
Thanks everyone! There was a birthday cake and a number of other nice things that had been done with my happiness in mind when I got home last night, so things are looking up. <3 you all for your kind words and thoughts.
A Wednesday open thread! I’ve never actually participated on an open thread on the Toast b/c the site was launched a particularly hectic work time for me & I had a standing meeting every Friday afternoon for like the last ~6 months, but the project is done and I am FREE TO SLACK AGAIN.
Good thing I have pretty much nothing to say aside from the fact that I just started reading League of Denial and am feeling guiltier than ever about my love of football even if it does facilitate a weekly opportunity for me to gorge myself on soft pretzels and nacho cheese.
I bet you would enjoy reading this great Deadspin interview! http://deadspin.com/would-you-do-it-again-we-ask-… – Joe Biden
Oh man, that interview, and the Follies clip. I am also feeling increasingly conflicted about my love of watching NFL. The current players came into a league at a time when we do understand head trauma a lot better, but at the same time people are terrible about thinking about long-term consequences and … ugh.
God, that is heartbreaking (and so similar to a lot of the stories recounted in the book I’m reading now, except the ones in the book have an OFF THE CHARTS tragedy factor). What a bummer life – like, to accept as a player that you are likely to lose your body to a sport, but then to be told you could also lose your mind? And that when you lobby for benefits, you will be decried as a sissy and accused of compromising the integrity and tradition of the sport you dedicate yourself to? Nice.
Oy, I watched the Frontline documentary about the NFL and concussions last night. The human in me has vowed to never let my hypothetical children play football. The epidemiologist in me is skeptical that the main woman scientist/activist’s sample size is 45, and she doesn’t really have a good study design.
For the record, my human argument is more convincing than my epidemiologist argument. I just like being a devil’s advocate.
Yeah, I watched the first ~45 minutes of the Frontline doc last night before my boyfriend kicked me off of the couch so he could watch sometime he had taped (I plan on finishing it tonight). I’ve only read the first couple chapters of League of Denial, but the book is (obviously) much more developed re: depth of content than the special seemed to be & they give a little more info on past and ongoing studies than the special seemed to. I’m not sure how much this was covered in the special, but an ongoing assessment was done for the Pittsburgh Steelers & it was a simple battery of verbal testing, reaction time stuff, etc. (lots of “name as many words as you can that start with the letter b,” “follow my finger as I move it around in front of you,” etc.) but getting players to consent to being tested was really difficult because they were worried it meant that the league was spying on them, that results would be used against them, etc. I wonder how difficult it is (even, or maybe especially, now) to get players to consent to ongoing monitoring or testing while they’re still active in the league?
That’s a really great question – I was thinking that a good approach would be longitudinally observing players, or monitoring them for CTE while they’re still alive (if that’s possible, IDK). But I’m sure there would be resistance from active players because of some kind of “health discrimination” by teams or the league.
We’re sorry, your petition to play devil’s advocate has been denied. http://the-toast.net/2013/10/02/no-more-devils-ad… –Evil Joe Biden
Fair play, Evil Joe. Fair play.
Oh! Oh my god thank you! I love this surprise midweek open thread!
Is anyone else watching MasterChef Junior? There are EIGHT TO THIRTEEN YEAR OLD CHILDREN on that show that are cooking better than I could ever dream of. It makes me feel so bad about my cooking skills. Also the kids are so refreshing, there’s none of the eyerolling cattiness of the adult version of the show. And Gordon Ramsay can’t swear so he says “sugar,” the whole show is just super charming.
In less exciting news, my husband was recently let go and is currently looking for a new job. It’s really weird to watch him go through the job search process because he’s in an in-demand field, so within a day of posting his resume up he had multiple recruiters begging to place him. If only we lived in a world where people would feel the same way for someone with my English and history degrees…
I haven’t watched, but apparently there is a kid from my (very small wee) hometown on there!! Which is awesome, because nothing comes out of my hometown. (Literally, they never leave.)
Also, I’ve had the same experiences with my bf. Which is frustrating when I’m job searching and he doesn’t understand why I don’t have people banging down my door like he does.
Whoever decided to have a competitive cooking show for children is a damn genius. – Joe Biden
Whenever I go to my class on Renaissance poetry I become very motivated to write Petrarchian love sonnets (ideally I would be motivated to work on my big presentation for this class, but I’ll take what I can get). I currently have 7/14 lines, which is fairly good, given that they’re in French and in alexandrine and they rhyme.
Also, I’ve been thinking a lot about travel lately. I’ve never traveled in a country where I didn’t speak the language, but I’m thinking about going to Germany this winter. I know that between speaking French and English, I should be able to not starve/get hopelessly lost/ die, but I still find the idea kind of daunting, especially because I hate feeling like I’m imposing on people. Do any of you have advice?
I only went to Berlin, but I didn’t have a single instance of someone not understanding English. Just be polite and be prepared for miming.
Also I always try to think about how I love practicing my language skills, and many other people would love practicing their English.
When in France, I found everyone wanted to help me *after* I had made an effort to speak French. Generous folks were gratified that I was trying to learn, in their opinion, the very best language on earth. Impatient people were eager to switch to English so I would stop butchering the very best language on earth. But those impatient people might not have given me any help, had I not made an effort in their language. I usually began with something like, Please excuse my poor French speaking skills. That disclaimer had to touch some hearts.
Pardon my sweeping generalizations, but I went to Berlin five years ago and everyone was incredibly nice. It was actually the most friendly city I’ve ever been to, as well as the most relaxing vacation I’ve ever taken. Everyone was wonderful about giving me directions (and I only know like 3 German words), handsome boys flirted politely with me, the waiters were full of cool stories… Now that I think about it, the fact that I was in a walking boot might have made people a little nicer than usual. Fake an injury! Or actually injure yourself. Sorry, I’m not great at advice. Oh also everyone was really eager to speak English with me, although they definitely appreciated the effort when I tried to use German.
HI UNCLE JOE!!
Just had a conversation where I opined that “you’re not allowed to talk any more” is maybe not a thing that you should say in reference to a Black man. Even if he is a handsome celebrity. Right? That’s a thing worth feeling weird and uncomfortable about right? Also people (i.e. Dan Snyder, but he has a lot of company) are being dicks about the Skins changing their name, but what else is new. At least now it seems like a question of “if” and not “when”.
On a more positive note, this week started out as an enormous shitpile at work and now it seems to be improving. Plus dinner tomorrow and all my meals Friday are going to be paid for by work, and I get to dress up in ass-kicking power suits.
Who are these assholes who are SO ATTACHED to that racist name? Not me! – Joe Biden
awww THANK YOU UNCLE JOE. Can I have a hug? I hear you give the most awesome hugs.
Huzzah for improvement of a former enormous shitpile (at the bottom of a chimney, och aye)!
That article. Oh my God, that article makes me guffaw every time I think of it.
(For reference: https://twitter.com/ThePoke/status/38731594614440…
For extra lulz, Scandy and I recommend reading the whole thing in a broad Scottish accent. Also note the header in the middle that just reads “BASTARD”)
The worse your Scottish accent, the better.
This is in no way an original statement, but – what apathetizes me more than quite possibly any other thing is learned helplessness.
Without getting too whiny, the best way I can explain it is:
1.Boss asks me to do thing
2.I spend 2 hours doing thing.
3.Boss forgets that he asked me to do thing, asks me again.
4.I give him thing.
5.Thing is not at all what he wanted, crosses out and redoes every part of thing, then gives back to me.
6.Completely redo thing with boss’s edits. Boss still not fully satisfied, but will take it.
7.Boss asks me to do new thing.
8.I spend 5 minutes doing new thing.
9.New thing is not at all what he wanted, crosses out and redoes every part of thing, then gives back to me.
Repeat ad nauseam. 5 minutes or 2 hours = same result, boss never happy = utter lack of dedication on my part.
My boss doesn’t even try to micromanage me, and that’s why we’re buddies. Yours needs to improve! – Joe Biden
I wish your boss were my boss, Uncle Joe.
I’m moving to San Diego in two weeks! Ahhhhhhhhhhh! I’ll be working at San Diego State University, and it will be amazing.
You’re a good man, and you read The Toast! Life will reward you. – Joe Biden
Not kidding, I want nothing more in life than to be told that I am a good man by the following people, in order:
1.) Nicole
2.) Joe Biden
It’s like all my dreams came true in one fell post.
I’m so fucking jealous of you right now.
I like that you already know you’ll never hear it from me.
1. Nicole
2. Joe Biden
…
639. Melis
Emby — I remember you posted a while back about how you were exploring getting a new job! Congrats on the new position!
Hopefully this isn’t too creepy coming from an Internet stranger.
p.s. redrum
Currently I am motivated by the copy of “The Republic of Thieves” that is sitting at home, and the three kinds of apples I bought at the farmers’ market. Why isn’t it the weekend yet so I can go to brunch twice and bake all of the things?
Aaaah my copy isn’t here yeeet. Whhhyyyy D:
I am so psyched to go to my favorite orchard down the street this weekend, pick all the russets (which will be ready, For I Have Decreed It So) and then get a whole bunch of both kinds of Macs. The russets will be for eating, and the Macs will be for baking all of the Wicked Yummy Apple Desserts.
Fuck Yeah, Fall in New England! Joe Biden Finger Guns!
I got sick this weekend, as it had been summer, I had not been sick for so long that I forgot how terrible it was. Grr.
Hello! My day has been slow as well. It’s a rainy day in LA, which is kind of novel and exciting, but I’m a grad student with a windowless office so it doesn’t really make any difference to me. I’m having office hours right now but so far only one student has come in, wanting to know if when I said he was “doing well” in the class meant that he’s getting an A or an A-. Is it bad-exampley of me to tell people to stop giving so many fucks about grades? I think the best advice I got when I was in college was that I should only be doing half of my learning and experiencing via classes.
I’m excited about the rain IN OCTOBER, even though I am trapped in a windowless cubicle. It’s so cold, too! And after the stupid Santa Anas last weekened!
You’re on your own now, I have things to do. Motivate each other! – Love, Joe Biden.
BATON ACCEPTED. -Reginald Biden
What motivates me: I just downloaded a trial of budgeting software (You Need a Budget, or YNAB) and I love it so far. I realized I’ve spent a lot of time wishing I were a Person Who is Good with Money rather than taking the requisite concrete steps to get there. I am a smart person so it’s silly to be so in the dark with regard to my personal finances, especially since I’m kind of feeling pressured due to an upcoming milestone birthday (25!). I think this is helping!
What apathetizes me: the United States’ political system.
You are doing something about a problem you recognize you have! That is a big thing, and you deserve a pat on the back 🙂
You’re the best! Thanks. I am BEYOND lucky in that I don’t have any student loan debt and only a pretty small amount of credit card debt. But I need a lot of help saving money for things like upcoming weddings (dresses, registry gifts, the whole shebang) and a new computer and stuff. Plus just “general savings”, of which I have, like, none. Onward and upward!
Recognizing you want to learn more about something and then taking steps to achieve that is a big part of being a responsible adult, so it looks like you’re on track for that 25th birthday milestone! Everyone is making up adulthood as they go along, and it gets easier over time. You will master it and be wonderful, and also possibly comfortably affluent. -Reginald Biden
Any response from Reginald Biden is a treat, but an incredibly kind and empathetic message at that? This must be my lucky day.
I have to stay at the office til 11ish all by myself so…I’ll be on here a lot tonight.
In other news, the Pirates are playing the Cards tonight, and there’s no one to stop me from watching the game on the big ole flatscreen while I walk around the office barefoot!
OMG, do it! This Bmore Os fan is rooting for the Pirates to make it all the way.. regardless of our respective cities’ football rivalry.
Thank you, noble Baltimorean! I will choose to forget the existence of the Ravens just for this moment in honor of your kind words.
I am sitting down to watch the first episode S3 of Once Upon a Time and if Regina and Emma don’t kiss this season so help me…
Oh, Once Upon a Time… Good luck with that!
I watched the whole first season in under a week, which I really think is the best way to do it (It’s worth noting I think this is the best way to watch every show).
What motivates me is starting a new job because I got a job offer last Friday (at 6pm) that I accepted! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[I will probably comment less on here though since I plan on taking this job 100% more seriously than my current job. Also, I think it will be 100% more intellectually stimulating than my current job.]
Also today is my wedding anniversary, and between that and the job offer I am a little apathetic towards doing some wrap-up work today.
Re. the gym: apparently what motivates me to go to the gym regularly is potentially 1) having a coach and signing up and do meets and more importantly 2) paying triple digits/month to go to a gym. Apparently if I pay a more reasonable amount, I’m less enthused about getting my money’s worth. Also, I am apparently 75% less likely to go to the gym if I stop by home first, instead of going straight after work like I used to. o_O This is honestly why I haven’t written more about working out recently or doing meets or my general athletic exploits: I am embarrassed that apparently I can’t stay motivated on my own, even with my Crossfit/powerlifting/oly lifting knowledge.
Yayyyy for new job (but boo for less rkfire comments). Now you really must write a piece for the Toast!
Part of me really wants to continue commenting as much, but the rest of me knows that my time at my new job would probably be a lot better if I don’t always have the Toast open on an additional tab. I will probably start commenting in the evenings when I’m at home because I <3 this place, and all of you. <3 <3 <3
Happy anniversary! And congratulations on the new job — that’s great news!
Hooray for accepting job offers last week!!! Congrats and good luck!!!
Thanks, and you too! San Diego seems really exciting to this East Coast dweller! The weather is definitely 10x better.
P.S. One of the nice things about the new job is that I will have more time to either stop by my current gym before going home, or even possibly go to a better gym two blocks away from my new job! I’m still fiddling with both options.
Also, some of the new gym options that have opened up include a weekly “boxing” class, and I have always loved those.
Yay for a new job! Congrats! 100% more intellectually stimulating sounds like an absolute dream.
Thank you! It’s a really exciting prospect, and honestly, it’s not a position I would’ve even imagined I’d take a few years ago because it would’ve seemed so overwhelming. The crazy thing about the past year so has been coming to understand that I need to push myself in order to grow, and that I need to be more comfortable with risks. Ahhhh.. growing up. ^^;
Congratulations on your new job! Exciting changes are the best changes. Since it’s your anniversary, I fully endorse slacking off on work; you will have other days to be excellent at your job. Today you can be excellent at being a married person, and think dreamy thoughts about your significant other. As for the gym, identifying your own motivators/apathizers is an excellent first step for being more productive in the areas that are important to you–you’re right on track, keep doin’ what you’re doin’! -Reginald Biden
Thanks, Reggie Biden!
Yay new job!! Congratulations!
You guys I am studying for my GREs (in two weeks) and I want to rip my prep books to shreds and paper mache them over the houses of the people who make up the questions. I like to think of myself as a smart college educated lady, but answering these trap-door questions over and over again is not helping with my confidence.
I know that feeling. You are a smart, college-educated lady and you can do this! It helps to remember that the GRE is not a measure of real-life learnin-type skills at all and does not reflect on your worth and ability as a good and smart human being. Don’t forget to take breaks and eat things.
I believe in you! Have some ice cream. -Joe Biden
Oh man, good luck with that! The good news is that once you’re in grad school, you won’t have to take any more standardized tests like that.
You are a smart lady, you are a prepared lady (even ripping your prep books to shreds would probably count as preparation, since you may absorb knowledge from the torn pages through ink-particle-born osmosis [this is absolutely a real thing scientists have proven it with sciencey science]), you will do wonderfully, and best of all, once you are done with the test, you will never have to think about it ever again, and that will be glorious. -Reginald Biden
Ugh. Honestly, I don’t remember much about the GRE. I think I just took a lot of practice tests – it seemed like the real benefit of “studying” for it was learning how to take the test. Like it’s a test about taking a test. Does that make sense?
Yes, what PaigePoo says–the GRE is a tiny hurdle on the way to grad school. Most places, the department you’re applying to doesn’t care about it; it’s the graduate college that wants you to hit their minimums. If you’re doing a subject test, that has a bit of bearing on your departmental application. But you’re much better spending time on polishing your statement and writing sample! Good luck! Be awesome!
(N.B., this advice only holds for the humanities.)
A little over a year ago, I joined a Health Month team, which turns out to be very instructive about what does and does not motivate me.
For example, I was sure that I would respond better to do goals than don’t goals (for example, “go to bed on time” vs. “do not stay up late”), but when I finally set myself some don’t rules, I ROCKED THEM.
Also, I learned that when faced with instructions to do even something as simple and necessary as flossing every single day without fail, I become rebellious and resentful of the domineering, dictatorial loser who thinks they have a right to set those goals (that person is, of course, myself), and I rebel (against myself) by skipping it. If I set the goal for 6 times a week, I’m perfectly happy to overachieve and floss every day. I’m sure a therapist could make a mint offa me.
You sound like you have a healthy mistrust of perfectionism, and an independent mind (so much so that your mind is sometimes independent of itself, like a tiny secessionary frontal lobe). These are admirable qualities, and they will serve you well in your happy, fulfilling life. -Reginald Biden
I went to the chiropractor last night AND I slept in a real bed and I woke up doing the thing where I was so disoriented because I had absolutely no idea where I was. I’m still so so so so so tired though. Need many more nights in a bed and not on a random ass couch or a futon mattress on the floor. Also helpful for sleep: the guy in the bed with me. Man alive I love snuggly sleepers.
I feel like Joe Biden would hold me all night long.
It really sounds like you had an excellent night of sleep! Or should I mean “sleep”?
I actually did sleep really well…. Once we got to sleep 🙂
Yesterday I wanted an open thread so I could complain about women’s camping gear, but my rage has subsided. Joe Biden, your help comes TOO LATE
Oh what about it?? I am an enthusiastic camper, but male, and my female camp-atriots haven’t mentioned this to me! Complain away, I want to hear!
SLEEPING BAGS. Fine, yes, some bags are especially designed for LadyNeeds. But others are just 1. Kids’ bags that have been relabeled (hahahaha hip girth of 44″ hahahahaha) 2. Versions of men’s bags (sorry, “unisex bags.” You know, like how we have “firefighters” and “female firefighters”) that are shorter (great! I’m short!) and made with light blue fabric. You know what you don’t want the bag you drag into the woods and shove your filthy body in to be? A PASTEL, THAT’S WHAT YOU DON’T WANT IT TO BE (I mean, other things, too. Like heavy. Or insufficiently warm. Or down, imo).
[This rant brought to you by the REI Membership Sale, going on now!]
I want to hear your thoughts on women’s camping gear! I am trying to cobble together backpacking gear but it’s all so monstrously expensive.
These are most of my thoughts: DEAR GOD, WHY IS EVERYTHING PURPLE
But! I’ve been doing a lot of backpacking fantasy shopping, and I’m super excited about the Mountainsmith Haze 50 pack (ultralight for $130 whaaaaat), and TarpTents (also pretty cheap!). Apart from that, all the trolling of sale sites that I do has not been good for my mental health. Any gear recs/favorites/secrets/discoveries?
That one looks amazing! The most comfortable pack I’ve tried is the Deva 60 (Gregory), but it is so expensive I don’t think I’ll get it (also, why is it called “diva” argh). I did get the Therma A Rest extra light ground pad, which rocks.
I have a 40 (30?) liter Gregory (the marginally less offensive “Jade” series), and I rock it to sleep each night and whisper sweet nothings to it, but my backcountry pack is this hulking monstrosity, made in an era before things like “elastic” and “pockets” and “comfort” had been invented.
Which ThermaRest do you have? If it has an internal hand pump, you can pretend to be giving someone CPR when you’re inflating it, which I (and ONLY I) think is a lot of fun. My old sleeping pad started leaking (yes, it did come with a repair kit; no, I did not make an attempt to resuscitate), so I just decided to give up and get the folding foam one (you can cut it apart and use it for splints in an emergency!) (also, I am A Poor).
Ahh, can I join in with my Ninety-Five Theses on Why Women’s Zip-Off Hiking Pants are the Worst? I am not a shorter guy, hiking companies. I have hips. What’s more, women’s legs come in different lengths and if I wanted shorts that came down to mid-calf I would just buy lederhosen.
I was going to say that I’ve had the best luck finding zip-off capris that fit but that…does not solve your problem at all!
Things that motivate me: jealousy; guilt; a naked, grasping desire to be accepted and praised. You know, the usual.
sister of my heart <3
We are as one, bergie.
Wait, there are people motivated by things that aren’t those things?
I’ve been so busy at work today that I haven’t had time to constantly stalk The Toast (as is my usual habit). And right when my energy and enthusiasm for work is waning, I click over here for a SURPRISE MIDWEEK OPEN THREAD. HAPPY WEDNESDAY TO ME!!!!!
I know, right?! I just got out of 2.5 hours of meetings in the afternoon, only to find this!
Canadian Thanksgiving is coming and it’s kind of my favourite holiday or at least in the top 5, so even though I have a miiiiillion things to do I’m kind of winding down the clock on this week because fuck it, I’m overdue for a break and I want to eat some goddamn stuffing.
Also my job involves talking to high school teachers on the phone all day and they all have Friday off and I DON’T so it’s making my week seem EVEN LONGER even though it’s the same as a regular week I DON’T KNOW I’M REALLY HANGRY RIGHT NOW.
Thanksgiving is our favorite holiday, too, and we celebrate it twice per year now that we live in the US. The last time we hosted Canadian Thanksgiving, it was a throwdown of tartes au sucre between my wife and our Quebecois friend here in Chicago. (nb: for American readers, tarte au sucre translates to sugar pie; the closest I can think to describe it would be pecan pie without the pecans.)
Everybody, and I mean everybody, wins when there’s a tartes au sucre throwdown.
Oh man, sugar pie. Suddenly I’m having the urge to throw a Quebecois/Acadian dinner party and do some sort of unholy combination of tortiere, poutine, and tartes au sucre. Because, right?
EXACTLY.
If we were living in a perfect world, all daytime shift workers would receive delicious, filling, adorably-arranged baskets of snacks via a colorful fleet of tiny hot air balloons promptly at 2:55pm daily. We can make this happen; we need only continue to dream beautiful dreams. -Reginald Biden
I also have a job that involves talking to teachers on the phone all day and AUGH it just means never being able to eat lunch interrupted because they always call during their lunch hour/planning period and god, I just want to eat, but having to listen to voicemails and return them is EVEN WORSE than being interrupted while eating.
I am apathetized by the fact that lately I’ve been staying up way too late watching 30 Rock reruns and am very tired. WHY do I do this.
I can only hypothesize that it’s because 30 Rock is funny and warm and lead by the amazing Tina Fey, and that you, as a human being, need those things in your life! Sometimes sufficient exposure to Tina Fey is more important than sleep; sometimes Tina Fey is like Vitamin D. I’m not sure where I was going with this. -Reginald Biden
Well, I did get Bossypants at the library today, so my Tina Fey exposure should be reaching optimal levels.
I am sad to report that internet is out at home and may not be back on again until evening, if I’m to believe the recorded message at Comcast. My wife suggested I walk to Goose Island and work there. I thought it a most excellent suggestion, although I may end up walking next door pick my son up from daycare in a slightly wobbly fashion (his daycare being a hundred yards from Trader Joe’s, Binny’s (Chicago liquor superstore and Goose Island is, well, more than a little enabling). Beer is helping make this interminable lit review more livable, however.
Duuude, Chicago, do you want to see Samantha Irby on Oct. 16?
Sorry, can’t do much after hours these days. We’ve got a toddler at home and I’m married to a workaholic. I love her madly, but 80-100 hour weeks don’t leave a lot of time for fun for either of us. 🙁
I feared as much! But I thought it never hurts to ask.
ugh, I DO but my (prudish) sister will be in town and I already booked us to go to a book reading about…. yarn and knitting. Which I am also excited about, but geeeeeeeeez it’s no Samantha Irby!
I think she does it every month? So how’s your Nov. 20?
WHERE IS JOE BIDEN IN THIS WHOLE SHUTDOWN BUSINESS. He needs to tell the Republicans to cut the malarkey.
(I am real tired of this shutdown nonsense. It is harshing my steaze, if I can corrupt a Ke$ha phrase.)
Also, I need an activity that will help vent some mondo levels of stress. Physical or non-physical. Drinking does not seem to be an advisable solution.
My step aerobics/tabata class really seems to help with stress venting, if only because at the end of class, I wobble out into the world like a baby deer, weak-kneed, covered in various fluids, and totally incapable of any emotion beyond my desire for chocolate milk, peanut butter, and the dubious comfort of my couch.
All we fictional Bidens are disappointed that this shutdown is continuing, and are channeling our support into the real Joe Biden. Soon he will balloon, Hulk-like, into an unstoppable figure of populist disgruntlement, and will end the shutdown with a single mighty congressional speech. Until then, I suggest finding yardwork to do as an activity–kicking and sawing and pulling weeds is tremendously satisfying when working with rage-and-resentment energy. -Reginald Biden
This is the best thing I’ve read all week. Thanks R. Biden
only 10,000 more words to go until i have 150,000 words of this TERRIBLE ROMANCE NOVEL written (which is at least 30,000 more words than necessary, but not bad for my friends’ & my personal entertainment)
Oo! What’s it about?
Between the end of high school and this summer, I haven’t done a lot of creative writing, but now I’m writing a terrible/great/terrible fanfic based on an opera and some sonnets (which are doubly terrible as they’re in my second language). Writing for just oneself and one’s close friends is really relaxing.
it’s a “””””historical””””” set in 1820ish, in an unspecified country that I know almost nothing about save that it’s 1. by the sea 2. basically England, only with a queen, because a lot of the THEMATIC THREADS are cupid & psyche and “east of the sun, west of the moon” and Tam Lin. people have feelings a lot. very Romantic with the capital R. i just began by writing the scenes I wanted, regardless of chronology, and now it’s this sprawling purposefully-nonlinear monstrosity. i love it.
a bunch of the minor characters are thinly veiled expies of people from game of thrones. and also, tony stark.
That sounds delightful!
Writing is wonderful, and you are wonderful, and writing things you think are terrible is the first step to writing things you think are awesome. Your friends sound like lovely people. -Reginald Biden
my thanks, reginald
Last night I watched the winter episode of BBC’s Yellowstone (now on Netflix) and there is a part where these otters are kind of leaping along through the snow and it was the COOLEST. In summary, if you are a nature doc person I would recommend.
Otters! Any animal that can swim through snow is probably made of magic. Thanks for the recommendation–all the Bidens are crazy about nature documentaries. -Reginald Biden
It’s my birthday, and this is the best birthday surprise! Well, second best, but it’s up there. The actual best is the sweetheart stray dog who wandered into our yard, scared and trembly last night, when I was mourning the fact that I can’t (well, shouldn’t) adopt a dog. Now I have a dog on loan from the universe for my birthday! She’s the very best dog, you guys, and I’m already a little too in love with her. Aaaand I just got a call from a woman who saw one of the Found Dog ads I posted, and it turns out she’s a foster dog and adoptable.
Real talk from the Toast: Is it extremely irresponsible to adopt a dog when you’re young and have no idea what’s going to be happening in your life in the next few years? My current situation is pretty much ideal for a dog, but I wasn’t really planning on staying here for much more than another year. I’m pretty much leaning towards that would be unfair to the dog, but I’m so sad about not being able to keep her.
First, happy birthday!
Second, real talk from Reginald Biden, fictional person: the key to me here is whether, by keeping the dog, in the event that you can’t keep her for more than a couple of years, you will put the dog in a worse position than she otherwise would have been if you had given her to the pound now. I’m leaning towards thinking that you would do this dog no harm by keeping her, and also I think that if you have a dog and you love her, you will make plans for your future that will keep this dog in your life. There are many things to consider, and I’ve never owned a dog, so others may have better criteria by which to judge, but it’s natural and loving of you to have the impulse to keep her, and responsible of you to carefully consider the ramifications, so I think whatever decision you come to will have been reached wisely and well. -Reginald Biden
Thanks!
Haha, I really enjoy Reginald Biden’s advice. I like thinking of myself as a kind of long-term intermediate step for her real home, buuut I think that’s basically what the person who’s fostering her actually is. It could work well if one of my coworkers or housemates would want her next year, since then it would be a pretty seamless transition for her. It would probably be best if she found a home that was really committed to having her for life sooner rather than later though, and I don’t think that’s me. Bummer, but better for her!
That makes complete sense. Good for you for acting with the dog’s best interests in mind, and may you find a wonderful pet when you’re ready. -Reginald Biden
Happy birthday! And happy visiting-dog day!
It’s smart and kind to think of the dog’s well-being, which suggests that — whenever it happens — you’ll do great at having a dog.
Do you know yet what your next situation might be like? Or, if the future is completely open and uncertain, are you confident you can tailor your next home and schedule to make it pleasant for both you and her?
Thanks! It’s been a great day. 🙂
And what you said actually made me think it would be kindest to her in the long run to let her find a more settled home. I would really like to apply for some yearlong fellowships in Asia next year. If that happens, I know people who would be happy to have her for a year, but I don’t feel confident I could make sure life would be great for her with me once I got back. So I’m just going to milk dog-visiting day for all it’s worth!
(And maybe post something on Craigslist and see if anyone would like to do some kind of dog-share where I could watch their dog during the day/play with it/go on dog outings. The dog gets extra attention, I get a dog without the commitment, and everyone wins!)
If I can ask, what’s the breed of the dog? Different breeds have different tolerances for different situations.
I grew up with working dogs (border collies trained on whistles to herd cattle on the family farm), my wife loves dogs, but we don’t have a dog BECAUSE we love dogs.
She’s some sort of pit mix, it seems like. From what I can tell, she seems like a good city dog: she likes walks and enjoys being outdoors, but is very calm indoors and has been very happy to be curled up in our office all day ((the benefit of a tiny, dog-friendly office) except for a few short walks.
She’s pretty shy, but she’s been warming up quickly. She’s glommed on to me, to the point where she sat by the office door and waited for me while I went to pick up lunch.
So basically: good indoor dog, nervous but fine in new situations with a person she knows, and seems pretty flexible in who that person is (since she’s known me for less than a day).
My neighbor found a dog wandering on the road one night. Neighbor has experience adopting abused dogs and could tell this one had never known anything but love. Neighbor took Lost Dog to a shelter because Neighbor was certain Lost Dog would get adopted easily, since Lost Dog was young, cute, calm, trained, not abused. Neighbor said Lost Dog would have become part of Neighbor’s household in a heartbeat if Neighbor though Lost Dog had been mistreated or would have trouble finding a new home. So there’s that.
Yeah, that’s a big part of it – this girl’s shy, easily scared, and really obviously doesn’t like being left alone (probably why she’s being fostered instead of at a shelter until she finds a family), but so cute, sweet, and well trained that I don’t think she’ll have trouble finding a home. Someone out there will give her all the loving and attention I would, and give it to her for life, which I can’t promise.
I am one month smoke free today! What motivates me is fear of dying a slow painful death, fear of public ridicule, fear of disappointing everyone, and fear of being poor. Oh, and guilt! WOOHOOO
WELL DONE, YOU! YAAAAAAAAY!
Oh my god, that is fantastic! Keeping on doing it, Toastie!
Avoiding dying a slow painful death is extremely sensible, which is a dry-but-true sort of motivation. In addition, quitting smoking is rough and difficult, which makes you a total fucking badass for doing it. You rockstar, you. Keep being awesome. -Reginald Biden
CONGRATS ON BEING SO AWESOME!
I am completely paralyzed with anger/fear/frustration/stress about all this shutdown/debt ceiling bullshit. Like, I can’t think about anything else, can hardly focus on work. My dad is furloughed, and my parents already weren’t doing great money-wise, so I don’t know what that’s going to mean for them. And I’m so scared of what might happen if we default, so scared.
Please say I’m not the only one?
I’m really pissed off/frustrated about it too. My mother-in-law is furloughed, and her husband collects a pension so while I think they are okay as of this moment, I am concerned about their short term prospects, especially since they are essentially the primary caretakers of a nephew of ours. I’ve mentioned this elsewhere, but I live in MD and I feel like over half of my social network is impacted by this shutdown by either being a direct federal worker, being a contractor to the feds, or working at a nonprofit that is partly supported by federal money.
If we default.. I don’t know. I sincerely wish/hope that Joe Biden would verbally lash the House Republicans into cooperating.
COME ON JOE
More real talk from a fake Biden: I know a lot of people who are feeling the way you’re feeling. This is a genuinely scary situation, and I’m sorry it’s affecting your parents in such a big way. It is completely reasonable of you to feel worried, frustrated, mad as hell, and everything in between. The only advice I have is to give yourself permission to put those things aside, if and/or when you feel like you need a break, and to do something else for an hour, if you want to. If you have comfort books, favorite escapist movies, a great public garden you love, now might be the time to draw on them for some peace of mind. Everyone I know is rooting for people like your dad; he’s not alone, and neither are you. -Reginald Biden
I am feeling very badly today as I got a rejection email for a retail position the day after interviewing, so I’m eating a cupcake (chocolate with vanilla bean frosting) and drinking a Coke while I watch the Weight of the Nation for my health department internship and silently fume about …oh, so much: food policy in this nation & the effects it has internationally, the shutdown/debt ceiling horrorshow, my inability to get a job, my inability to call my therapist to schedule more appointments, my next-door neighbors and their proclivity for playing deeply shitty house *all the time*.
I applaud you for applying and interviewing, and the rejections (which stink) are just part of the process of finding that job that is out there for you.
Those things you list off are hard, but there’s one that is actually in your control if you want it to be: calling your therapist. I’m not pretending it’s easy; I know sometimes it feels impossibly hard. But you can do it.
You can even break it down into little steps if that helps. Look up the number. Figure out when you’re available for appointments, maybe even write it down. Set yourself a time to make the call. Clear a few minutes for the phone call and as long as you need after to process feelings if the call is difficult for you. Then do it. YOU CAN DO THIS.
(I’m sure you know all this. It’s just a reminder that sometimes it’s easier to do things in small steps, and that YOU CAN.)
I hope you enjoyed your cupcake!
YES! sandwichharlot, please listen to Elsa, she is wise.
I’ve just been there (and I think many of us have) and I know how I got out. “This guy’s walkin’ down the street when he falls in a hole.”
Thank you for posting that, I needed it.
(Suppressing the urge to watch most/all of TWW again, though.)
More real talk from a fake Biden: I fully endorse everything Elsa said, it is wonderful advice for dealing with a very difficult situation. I also endorse eating cupcakes, which is often my first response to adversity, and can make the next small step (seriously, Elsa’s point about breaking everything into tiny tasks is the #1 thing that helps me do things when All The Things feel too big and impossible) feel just a little less hard, which is sometimes all I need to do it. Good luck. -Reginald Biden
Just to reiterate: the rejections are not a rejection of you, though (at least for me) sometimes it feels that way.
If you got far enough to get a sorry-we-went-another-way email, then you’re making progress, even if it doesn’t feel that way. You’re being active and industrious and I am impressed with you. It’s something hard and important and sometimes frustrating, but you are doing it.
You are so nice!
I also got a rejection email this week (though after a weird interview for a meh job at a place where all the subordinates seemed really downtrodden, so I wasn’t very disappointed), and your words are nice to hear. I just wish I could get an interview for a job I really want.
I’ve worked hard to reframe how I feel about rejection, because winnowing of one kind or another is a necessary part of most work. Hey, rejections mean you’re getting your work out there, you’re seeking out opportunities, you’re staying active and engaged in the process. And that’s huge!
I just picked my roller derby name and I’m so excited but I can’t tell anyone until it’s approved, but it’s awesome. Also, skating kicks my ass every single time, but I love it.
Uterine pain is mighty apathizing and a marathon of The Great British Bake Off is motivating me to want to eat all the baked goods in the universe – mostly chocolate croissants.
Instead I’m digesting a disgusting sandwich that I totally regret having consumed and wondering whether or not I should ask my roommate to bring home a pint of Americone Dream, because the chocolate croissants I want are from Tesco, and I am approximately 3,000 miles away from one at the moment.
In the aftermath of a (minor and temporary) medical problem, I’m still on a very restricted bland diet: no raw vegetables or fruit (except bananas), few whole grains, no nuts, nothing spicy or extremely sweet or acidic or fatty, NO COFFEE OH GOD.
I. Am. So. Bored. I didn’t realize how much of my entertainment comes from cooking, from grocery shopping, from planning lovely little balanced meals, from inviting people and serving pretty platters of food.
So every time one of you mentions crab legs or cupcakes or croissants or pie or, basically, anything other than baby food or watered-down chicken broth, I add it to my now-long mental list of things I am going to eat the hell out of when I’m fully recovered.
Also, I’m going to fill a bathtub with espresso and lie down in it.
I am so sorry for you. But you did make me laugh. NO COFFEE OH GOD would have been my exact reaction. Love your tub of espresso. So thanks for entertaining me with your misery. And sorry for your suffering.
I hope you get well soon! Not being able to eat the things you want is the Worst.
This was supposed to be a reply to Elsa. Oops.
Hi everyone, this is my first open thread after lurking around for ages! *waves*
It’s already Thursday in Australia, and I’ve taken annual leave tomorrow, so I’m motivated by it being my last day of work for the week. It’s my first wedding anniversary on Sunday, so my husband and I are spending Friday and Saturday nights in a fancy hotel in our city, we plan on eating a lot of food, and drinking expensive wine, huzzah!
Also motivated by the fact that we settle on our new house in about 12 days, and have one more full weekend to pack all of our crap…eek! Next weekend is definitely going to be a packing frenzy, and we’ve done the easy stuff, so it’s going to be all kitchen stuff, ugh…maybe I’m actually apathetized about that…
Hi fellow Australian! *waves back*
Good luck with your move and have a lovely anniversary!
Thanks, it’s our first home, so I am unreasonably excited about decorating, and buying a giant bookcase with a ladder!
Yay Aussie Toasties! <3
Oh, a giant bookcase with a ladder…you’re living the dream, lady!
I just started a year abroad at Oxford! It’s pretty cool so far, but also really intimidating, because I haven’t had to do anywhere near the amount of writing previously that I’ll be expected to do here. And it kind of seems like all the English students went to, like, Eton, and are super confident and stylish and polished in a way I am not.
I also started off my trip to England with a walking tour along Hadrian’s wall with my mom and her old friends, and they kept dragging up arguments from 30 years ago. So that was fun. But actually it was legitimately really fun, and the English country side is beautiful.
Studying abroad can be intimidating. I just started a year in Paris and while I feel equally or more intellectually prepared for academic pursuits in general compared to the students here, they all have the advantage of speaking French perfectly and knowing exactly what kinds of formats our professors expect.
But it’s good to have new challenges and at the end of the year I’m sure you’ll be awesome at writing in great volume and I’ll be awesome at writing in French (I hope).
Ah you are so lucky! Oxford is such an amazing place to study. Hope you brought along Marguerite Yourcenar’s “Memoirs of Hadrian” for your walking tour of the wall. It just adds so much more to the experience IMHO. So many amazing places to visit!!! Enjoy.
Don’t worry they’re all totally bluffing. (I went to Cambridge.) No but seriously, no one had any idea what they were doing and were just trying really hard to get by. Like swans. They look ~serene~ but they’re paddling really hard under the surface. Good luck!
But you’re the exotic foreigner! Don’t forget the automatic cachet in how they see you. When I (American) took a semester in Europe I became exhausted because I could not get a moment alone. All the Europeans wanted my attention, wanted to ask questions about the US. In my native habitat, I do *not* naturally attract any attention. Quite a shock for this introvert.
Any DC folks? I saw SpeakeasyDC last night and it was amazing! I’ve never been and didn’t know what to expect. But if you like good storytelling and very, very strong drinks — I should not have taken a drink called The Honeybadger lightly — I really recommend it.
Anger. A bottomless well of anger. And fear.
For the first time in a long, long time I got motivated enough to knock out a homework assignment as soon as I got it. Now I have free time during which I have nothing to hang over myself but I still feel stressed and wobbly, so maybe the link between my work stress and my level of belligerence isn’t as strong as I believed.
I did manage to knock out ~1,500 words in two hours, though, and I lifted weights today, so I’m tired as hell.
Wednesday open thread! Is the best concept! Except I teach late on Wednesdays and so got here as late as I usually do for Friday open threads! Don’t care! Still here!
I am motivated by stopping the You Should Take Care of This chatter that happens in my head as I’m trying to fall asleep and makes me panic about bills and emails and finishing that one thing that needs to be finished. So today I sorted out some student loan business and tomorrow I’ll sort out some insurance billing business and also finish writing this goddamn article that was due last week and was terrible and will be ripped apart by its reviewers.
Also, I spent most of the day with my sweater on backwards.
I am partial to Wed open thread – I never see the Friday ones until I’m at work on Monday because I’m in the southern hemisphere, so the Friday thread doesn’t appear until my Sat!
I am motivated by fear of having no money or job security in the future and not being able to support my financially unstable mum.
Anyone think that Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky” is a bit TOO sexy? Just me? Okay.
I’m getting apparently random email reply notifications from this thread and it’s confusing me. Clearly Nicole has upset The Balance.
I mean I like reading what you guys have to say, but out of context it’s hard to follow comment to comment.
Yeah my notifications are getting spotty too!
I’m currently motivated by an awesome new job that keeps me busy! and keeps me on my feet! and keeps me learning! where my coworkers are social! and my supervisor expresses her appreciation with gift cards! <3 <3 <3
That sounds great! My job is almost none of those things (coworkers are pretty social) and I want a job that is more like your job.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/c5lhfKUFNN8
http://youtu.be/c5lhfKUFNN8?t=16s (Tom Hiddleston doing that speech but in like, normal clothes and STARING INTO YOUR EYES)