Happy Monday and Martin Luther King Day to you all. We are taking the day off; please talk amongst yourselves until your return. Clean up when you’re done; use coasters. You can’t have any friends over while we’re gone. We love you.
Here is a picture of my face when I watched Flowers in the Attic this weekend. You may discuss the film or how good my hair looks in this picture here. (It was like Heather Graham’s contract included a rider about how she would only give line readings rather than act in any of her scenes; I was devastated.)
I also saw The Legend of Hercules this weekend. I will see any movie that is set during classical antiquity and filmed in 3D. It was perfect and you should go see it too. Kellan Lutz looks like a Labrador retriever that has been transfigured into a human man and is just thrilled about the change. There’s a scene where Zeus turns Hercules’ sword into a lightning-charged whip and then Hercules uses his lightning sword to electro-whip all of his enemies and I think that scene should be featured in every movie from now on and a lady stabs a guy through her own chest. Thanking you in advance,
Sincerely,
Mallory Ortberg
Tags: open thread
Oh, you americans and your holidays. Why do they so rarely coincide with my own?
(can’t even remember when the next Bank Holiday is)
(at least I’ll actually get some writing down today)
Beginning of May, isn’t it? (If you’re UK.) Too long, anyway!
OH GOOOODDDDDDD MAAAAAAAAY THAT IS SO LONG
Oh! Easter? But that is 18 April, so not much sooner…
A long, grey winter ahead
Bored of rain. I’m on the South coast and we appear to be trying to join Atlantis. Everything is underwater.
It’s ok – a lot of us don’t actually get today off. (Typed from my cubicle).
I don’t remember when I last got this day off. I think we might have gotten it off in college, but I’m not sure? Not every year, anyway. Though it looks like they get it off this year…
my 28th birthday was this weekend and i partied so hard that i lost my glasses.
Oof, I’ve done that. Same party I lost my shoes.
thats impressive!! it was snowing, so I would have been really, really sad if i lost my shoes.
apparently this happens a lot. I can’t see this happening to me in the winter, but I do tend to bring flops to parties with me in the summer. Still lost a pair of heels to a now incredibly possibly unhealthy ex, but they were Charlotte Russe sex shoes, so I didn’t want to send recon in to get them.
Oh god, losing my glasses is a HUGE FEAR of mine. But then I’m so nearsighted that I couldn’t do anything other than read without them.
yes! luckily i just have pretty bad vision in ONE eye, so when im not wearing glasses my brain just switches to seeing mostly out of one eye and I just have terrible depth perception. im mostly just sad that now I have to find new glasses frames. any suggestions would be most welcome!
Hey, I have that crazy eye thing too. I keep reminding myself that someday I’ll have built-in bifocals. (Happy birthday!)
sounds like a great excuse for AWESOME NEW GLASSES!
my crazy-awesomest have come from SEE (http://seeeyewear.com/index.aspx) – not sure where you’re located but they have stores in quite a few cities.
Happy belated &c! A good if slightly blurry time was had, it seems 😉
thank you!! it was indeed good and blurry.
Right on!
According to Canada, today is the most depressing day of the year. I’m not Canadian, but as an American who has to work today, I am inclined to agree with them.
I’m also at work today. On the plus side, there was hardly any traffic. On the minus side, I’m at work and everybody else is at home.
My thought process hitting the road this morning:
Sweet! No traffic! Wait, what time is it? Did I wake up too early/too late? Why isn’t anyb–oh. Fuck.
I didn’t even realize why the traffic was so amazing today, I just thought I got lucky. I would still rather have the day off, but if I can’t have that, a fast commute will have to do.
Same boat here. I was very confused why that one crazy slow down spot where it makes no sense why we all slow down was being all normal speed, until I got to work, and was just sad.
Accurate. It is in fact the day the bills come due, it’s incredibly grey out on every level (I have always identified this as the greenish grey, rather than the blue-er colour gray), and everything in the world is about money for at least ten days.
On the upside, it does get nicer from here out.
I’m working tooooo 🙁 WHAT IS THIS MADNESS
Today is the day I decided I’m quitting my job, so yeah, agree.
stoked that you’ve made a decision – based on what you said on FOT, this is a good choice for you. Godspeed!
That’s a huge decision, congratulations on making it! Go rock yourself a new job.
GOOD FOR YOUUUUU!
Amen.
Yay!
Congratulations!
Wait, you get a holiday today! Come on, Canada, get it together. Family Day is too far away.
I didn’t end up going to Drunk Macbeth on Saturday (my friend bailed and I hate going to drinking events alone) BUT I did go to a fancy oyster dinner at the wine bar where my roommate used to work in the kitchen. We accidentally ordered two bottles of $80 wine so they gave us one free and sent over a complimentary dessert platter. Also oysters and charcuterie = yes.
Oh my goodness! I missed Drunk Macbeth this weekend. Drat. Stuck out of town at a baby shower, and it always seems like everything good happens every weekend I leave.
There might be another one someday!
how many oysters? that sounds so good! Drunk Macbeth AND oysters would probably be my dream. raw ones? rockefellers? mmmm.
I did have four dollar beers last night at the craziest Sunday karaoke I’ve ever seen at my neighborhood haunt after a very fun production of Merry Wives of Windsor, which is, in general, THE WORST.
Between my roommate and I, two dozen. Fresh Nova Scotia oysters loaded up with horseradish. Yummers.
Uhhh, your Sunday sounds AMAZE. Merry Wives of Windsor is super hard to make not awful.
My mouth is dreaming.
Also I KNOW RIGHT? Even when I was like, wow, there are so many more bed tricks in here than I remember and either subversive misandry or just broad misogyny (note: feel this way about Taming), if you add post-WWII fashion and live animals, you’re probably doing something right. Theaaataaaah.
What’s wrong with the Merry Wives of Windsor? I’ve never seen it, so I always assumed it was like Verdi’s Falstaff (i.e. awesome).
But I’m glad the production you saw of it was good!
I am SO SAD that we won’t hear a Drunk Macbeth report from you, but that oyster dinner experience sounds amazing.
I’m sure there are other weird theatre events in my future! I seem to attract them.
I really wanted to go to Drunk Macbeth but was out of town!!
also: mmmm oysters.
Also: mmmm winterlicious.
I really want to check out Winterlicious, but based on my roommate’s stories about working during it in previous years I am REALLY scared.
We had our oysters and wine at Crush Wine Bar, which is a Winterlicious participant, and I highly recommend it.
My husband is out of town on a residency interview and clinic was canceled for the holiday so I’m spending the day cleaning out my DVR and eating the three boxes of thin mints I snagged yesterday. I am beyond thrilled.
Making things even more exciting is that my MIL gave me money to buy a cute dress for a second-look thing this weekend at one of our top residency programs so I get to shop anxiety-free.
WHOA, where are you getting thin mints? They aren’t here yet!
There were two Girl Scouts at the mall yesterday and I actually sprinted across the street and threw a $20 at them before the rest of the crowd could buy them out.
Oh, also, Natalie Dormer at the SAG awards is basically the hair I want. But, I have a little round milkmaid face. Can I get away with it? yes/yes/no, but do it anyway cause it’s just hair and will grow back?
She looks like a sexy alien. It’s amazing (I have no advice for you, except to try and look like a sexy alien, I guess?).
She looks like a cat and a fox mated and then went to a witch to turn their baby into a human and that human grew up to have an adventerous yet impeccable fashion sense
That’s…perfectly accurate, actually.
OMG DOOOOO ITTTTT she looks amaymay. Do it for me, I want to do that hairstyle but I have tiny bald patches that would make it look like I just had mange instead of a deliberate style.
Personally, I think Natalie Dormer has a little round milkmaid face and she looks great, so YES DEFINITELY.
do it! dont worry about face matching hair – I really think that’s kind of a weird beauty myth.
one weird beauty myth
sponsored by the patriarchy to keep women from having the short/asymmetical/witchy haircuts they want.
I’ve had various iterations of short hair for a long time, and I feel like at least 65% of the women who compliment me on it say “I couldn’t do that, I have a weird-shaped head.” Mysteriously, I’ve never heard a man with short hair say that! Could that possibly be because of social norms that are threatened by women with short hair? The world may never know.
I agree with this!! No one ever concerns themselves with whether a dude has the face to “pull off” short/edgy hair, and it’s not like all men are automatically blessed with perfect facial structure, good lord.
Further information
Me
Natalie Dormer and the hair
You are adorable and the only concern I have re: you and this hairstyle would be volume. Do you have enough hair/volume to achieve that flip over the top?
I do if I part it a little further to the side, which I would need to do for the line of the shaven bit. It looks like she’s got some mousse in there too. If I mousse my hair and blow-dry it upside-down, It goes about half a foot high. (I have SO MUCH HAIR)
I wouldn’t necessarily wear it like this always. I’m just really into the shaven side. I’d probably plait or curl the .long side a lot for a kind of punk-1920’s look.
If you’ve got that much hair, GO FOR IT. Seriously. I’ll be disappointed if you don’t.
I’m gonna do it. Probably in about a month or two – I can’t until I start getting my ‘too crazy to work’ money from the government and that sort of stuff takes forever. But once I do, there will be PICTURES.
DO IT YOU CAN TOTES PULL IT OFF
yaaaaas do it. OMG do ittttt! and post pics next OT!
I love your glasses!
having seen the photos, i definitely think you can, nay SHOULD, do it.
Do it do it do it do it.
Planning to spend the whole day marathoning Battlestar Galactica. On s3 ep 2 right now! I CAN DO THIS. Also probably doing laundry and running the dishwasher like six times because I am a disgusting human who lives in squalor.
Aaaand this evening I’m going to this! Super excited because a) I’ve actually been thinking lately about how I am totally uninformed about the state of race relations in my own damn backyard and maybe this will help with that; and b) I like that area of the city and don’t get many excuses to go there.
Oh lord, wait until you get to the S3 finale. That episode is one of my favorite episodes of television ever written; I think it’s so beautifully done.
Sweet! I look forward to it. Finishing up episode 5 right now.
Hello everyone from a Canadian who still has to work today, at the job they are likely quitting by the end of the week. To do…yeah, I don’t know what. We’ll see. It is my 24th birthday next Tuesday so this Saturday may be an evening in which I both celebrate being one year closer to that magical pinpoint where I need to Get My Adult Shit Together AND quitting the worst job I’ve ever had, which is decidedly the opposite of Getting My Adult Shit Together.
no, quitting a terrible job is TOTALLY getting your adult shit together! congrats!
Hey, you are the one who said you’re starting an ad agency, right? (I remembered because I was like, of COURSE that’s what Joan should do). Anyway: so awesome, and very Having Adult Shit Together styles. I’m an occasional freelance designer/project manager, and a Canadian. I’m full-time in-house right now, so I’m not looking for work, just wanted to say hi! What city are you in?
I am, in Toronto! It’s super slow going right now, at the moment we’re just trying to figure out our agency’s differentiation and brand identity and stuff and how we can potentially get some funding for basic self-promo stuff like websites etc before we officially start scouting for clients. I have no idea when it’s going to get off the ground tbh! I am being very project manager-y in that I am always nagging our (brilliant!) copywriter and art director 🙂 Right now it’s just me, them, and another girl we went to school with who is really good at practical stuff like making contacts and sorting out tax situations and whatnot. I’m mostly just terrified it won’t get off the ground because I always am about these things, but my creative team does awesome beautiful work and I want everyone to see it!: http://www.behance.net/torcia
THE FANCY FEAST ADS, THOUGH.
Awesome! The work is super sharp, the cats are cracking me up. Getting this stuff off the ground is always hard and takes forever, for everyone. But you’re lucky you’ve got a whole team of people. Also lucky to be in Toronto, I’m in Vancouver and the market for design is really undervalued compared to Toronto and Montreal markets. Good luck with your quitting! Keep us updated!
So my very sweet, thoughtful aunt gave me a pink toolkit for xmas (cause I’m an engineer). As you can imagine, the tools are of low quality and I already have a bunch of tools (nonpink ones). The kit has been sitting on my floor for a month now. What should I do with it???
Can you donate it? Maybe to a Habitat for Humanity or similar type organization? Perhaps a high school shop program (I don’t know if these things even still exist, honestly).
I don’t think the tools are actually that usuable…I almost think they are kid toys (except for the blade).
Throw it out, donate it or give it to someone you know who needs tools, even if only starter tools.
Starter tools are definitely better than no tools.
Maybe donate it to a Value Village or Goodwill or such? I think that’s probably the simplest way to get it to someone who would appreciate it, unless you know someone who would like it.
spraypaint them black and give them to a girl child or donate to salvation army.
Brilliant! I wouldn’t want to pass on the pinkness to some other enginerd but spraypainting would solve that problem.
(And if my aunt ever wants proof I use the tools, I’ll just spraypaint my serious penis-tools hot pink)
Toasties! It is an obscene hour of the morning here in Australia, I am sleep deprived and yet feeling expansive and wistful, and wanted to let you all know that you’re what makes this place such a wonderful internet home to play in and I love it very, very much. Treat yourselves to something nice today, you all deserve it.
Completely tangentially, I was reading through the line up of San Francisco Sketchfest because some friends of mine are performing there and ended up jealously crying and damning it all to hell that America is so far away. Is anyone local to SF intending to go? Tell me all your plans so that I may live vicariously through you!
SKETCHFEST. We’re a little cash- and time-strapped this year, so we’re only seeing the Nerdist Live (last year, Dan Harmon was the surprise guest. He was so drunk and wildly inappropriate that they had to edit huge chunks out before releasing the recording. Awesome). In previous years, we’ve enjoyed Paul F. Tompkins’ variety show, Rifftrax Live…so much comedy goodness.
Oh that sounds absolutely ACES! I hope you have an amazing time. I’m slightly abashed about the fact that before my friends got booked I had no idea of Sketchfest’s existence, now it seems like it’s something I’ll definitely need to travel to and experience one day.
I agree; I want to live in the Toast Open Thread.
I live in Oakland and will probably go to something at sketchfest (sorry to rub it in) the most important being my friends’ comedy show (Sad Vicious) on Friday night, which is when our annual company dinner party is and I can’t miss that. So I’m pretty upset.
Somehow I’m in mid January and I’m not completely depressed or needing to hole myself up for the rest of the cold days! Let’s have a big round of applause for anti-depressants!
This is the best I’ve felt in January that I can remember. Cheers!
the real test will be March – that’s my usual low point. But so far, so good!
Holla holla holla!! Congrats, it really is the biggest relief ever.
I had a low couple of days early in the month, but I toned down the coffee consumption (anxiety is so awesome you guys) and now I feel not at all bad. Even if there’s another downswing, at least it’s not five straight months of blegh.
Cutting out caffeine has been a real game changer for me! glad to hear it has been for others too. Even with meds, I was still having those semi-delusional attacks of anxiety (where I’m super sensitive and hyperfocus and get INTENSE in my head), but once I cut out caffeine it’s helped me reach a new level of calm, and Anxiety Girl hasn’t made an appearance in a long long time (and when she tries to show up, I’m able to calmly convince her to go away).
It’s helping that I have a later schedule now – I mean, it kind of sucks that I don’t get home till like 7, but even though I still go to bed late, getting up an hour later has made me much less tired. I still have coffee on days when I’m really tired, but usually a cup of tea does well enough, and I’ve been good about reminding myself that chocolate is a better response to the after-lunch need-a-nap feelings than another cup.
Next step: see if it’s feasible to go back to the dose of medication I was taking before I decided to go to grad school while working full-time (half my current dose). If I have to stay at this level, then it is what it is, but I’d like to see if I can reduce it.
so glad I’m not alone in the “school + full time job = untenable mental state” camp. I have one more year left… I’ve completely accepted staying on meds at least until school is done. I wish you luck – if you can reduce it that’s great, but take it easy on yourself too! <3
Thanks! And good luck to you too! It was definitely one of those experiences that I didn’t realize how awful it was until I was done, but here I am with (I’m pretty sure?) no lasting damage (although I did just have a dream that my thesis was due in two weeks and I hadn’t started it yet, shut up brain), and here you can be too!
It’s technically a holiday for me, but I had an early call with a very demanding client, so now I’m doing work to follow up after that call. Sigh. Sorry, MLK, I totally respect your actions and sacrifices. Later today I’ll take time to play Super Mario with my girl, walk the dog and catch up on last night’s Downton and the new Sherlock.
I’m still trying to get my head around what Mallory said about a woman in the Hercules movie stabbing a guy through her own chest. How does that even work?
All I can think re. Hercules is that is it like the terrible Die Hard with the computers where Bruce Willis shoots a dude through the bullet wound in his own chest? (no one should be stealing moves off the terrible Die Hards)
SO he was clutching her real close to him and thrusting a dagger against her neck and then she grabbed the dagger and stabbed herself through the shoulder into his heart!!!!! and he died and she lived!!!
That sounds MAJESTIC. I want to see this now.
Oh man, that sounds hardcore. Maybe I can convince the rest of my household to see this with me. The last movie we saw was Frozen, so this could be a big departure.
Aaaaaand now I’m imagining Elsa pulling this trick with an icicle through the Bad Guy and it is a very entertaining thought.
Also, during my newfound, soon-to-come unemployment, to prevent myself from going all Jack Torrance while I am cloistered in my house I’m writing a script with a friend! It’s going to be like if Llewyn Davis had an Italian family who he loved and also wanted to back the fuck up from.
… you know that writing that play didn’t work out too great for ol’ Jack Torrance, right? ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE HOMER SOMETHING SOMETHING.
That’s why I have a writing partner! A sanity buddy, if you will!
I have to admit, that’s an elegant solution.
I have meetings about racism at my work. But it’s a holiday: can I examine my privilege from inside of my home?
If you are in the U.S., is your work having meetings about racism while simultaneously NOT CELEBRATING MLK? That is nonsense.
THANK YOU. That is what I thought.
Random link drop containing cats and misandry http://samclifford.tumblr.com/post/73680950630/th…
Guys can I just drop a line about how, even though I appreciated their takedown of the whole “outing a transperson who just wanted to remain anonymous all because of a fucking golf club” fuckery I can’t stand Shakesville and I find their entire commenting policy alienating and condescending?
Trufax: Shake’s Sis was one of the three blogs I cut my teeny feminist teeth on, but I left soon after it became Shakesville b/c wat even.
Mine was ontd_feminism on livejournal, so I am in no position to judge tbh
I remember being annoyed by their comments at some point in the past, but I don’t remember why, so I went and read their comment policy.
And thus, I learned that it now has a section on the theme of “we are using Disqus, but we hate all its features, so you must never use them.”
I just… why?
I read that they hate Disqus because the reply function organizes comments into a thread, much like IntenseDebate does here, and they feel that this is discriminatory to people with learning/reading disabilities. I promptly showed that to a friend who is dyslexic, and she burst out laughing.
I mean, I can believe that there exist people for whom nested comments cause difficulty. And it’s fine with me if they want to accommodate said people. I prefer nested comments, but I can deal with flat ones when they’re somewhere that I want to participate.
The thing that annoys me is that they’re using a comment policy where it would be much more effective to use a technical solution. If you want comments with no nesting and no downvotes, then use a comment system that doesn’t allow nesting or downvotes.
I think there might be technical reasons related to their need to have their blog hosted by someone with strong security (I think Google) because they get a lot of attacks. I don’t know if that requires using disqus, or if that’s just the easiest one for their tech people to deal with, or what.
Ah, that makes sense. It’s still annoying, though.
I have never spent a lot of time there, so I just clicked over to read their comment policy. It seems really counterproductive to have a comment policy that requires that you read something like twenty different posts in addition to the four pages of comment policy itself? I mean, it must work for them, but yeah, it seems odd to say: “DON’T USE THESE FEATURES.” I’ve done UI design. Don’t give people buttons they aren’t allowed to click; that just isn’t sensible.
The Shakesville moderators, especially the blog founder, are very abusive and unfair toward the commenters. I’ve spent a lot of time there over the years, so I should know.
I think “abusive” is a little strong.
I don’t.
I love Melissa’s writing, and I appreciate the theory of the safe space, but in practice it drives me up a wall. The comments are just an echo chamber of people saying “great post!” I’m sure it’s helpful for some people, though. Maybe I just don’t get it because I don’t really have triggers and therefore am not the intended audience?
Upon further reflection, I think the last straw for me was when a commenter offered another commenter virtual tea or kittens or such, and a mod was all “offering virtual comfort is making light of people’s pain!” So, yeah, um. Commenting there seems like it would be really really stressful.
I have seen commenters express appreciation for the safe space so I’m it’s helping a lot of people out. I also see the logic of aggressively moderating the comments when it comes to trans rights, racism and rape culture. But yeah, I personally would never participate there because you never really on whose toes you would be stepping on.
Also “working” today. The Bergy Bits are at home with Daddy (who switched his day off) today, since daycare is closed in respect to Dr. King. Successful trip to the zoo yesterday, apart from Dimples confiding she does not like birds (on the way into aviary, natch). Oh well, she used to be afraid of plants, so it’s a step up.
To be fair to Dimples, birds are modern-day dinosaurs and they know this about themselves, so it is perfectly okay and reasonable to be afraid of them.
Birds are freaky. Dimples is a sage.
Was she afraid of all plants? I’m just wondering what the toddler-logic behind it was.
Mainly anything that was taller than her, this was at about 18 months old, so that is a lot of plants. She would literally flinch/cringe away from plants – duck and put her elbow out to shield her face from them
Birds are up to no good. They would eat you in a heartbeat if they were bigger
Relevant and necessary link to the Emu War
I finally picked what colors of paint I’m using in my new bedroom and office! They’re all from the new fancy Behr collections. Cloisonne Blue as the main color for my bedroom (it’s a medium greyish blue), with Imperial Jewel (Red-Purple) accents, and Hipsterfication (I know. It’s a really rich rust brown though. All Studious and stuff.) for the office/library.
Paint has some really stupid names.
I’m also going to redo my bathroom eventually. I’m leaning toward decoupaging old National Geographic maps and pictures on the parts that are not directly in splash areas. I’ve got a bunch in boxes that I need to do something with, and it’s either that or a dresser.
Now, we need to just finish emptying the rooms, paint, and then get me all moved in. Month and a half to go!
that sounds amaaaazing I love your color choices
Thanks! My family thinks it’s great that I’m going so bold. I think a lot of it’s also me rebelling from so many years of white-walled apartment living, and now I really can do what I want! When I get it all together, I may post pictures. I’m really hoping the 1700’s France-type feel I’ve been going for comes through in the bedroom. Kinda steampunk-y in the office.
hipsterfication is a paint name??? and its brown?? wtf.
It’s kind of an obscure rust brown. *glasses push* You’ve probably never heard of it.
also, wtf is that word? hipster + gentrification?
So, it’s the color of neighborhoods being slowly populated by espresso-loving twenty-somethings with asymmetrical haircuts?
And what did that beautiful color ever do to deserve that name!?
I think they were trying to make it sound “cool.” Like a bunch of folk with bigger paychecks than mine and less connection to pop culture, just sat in a boardroom, and started saying words they think the kids these days think are hep.
The dark grey from the same line was called Coffee Bar. The lighter greenish tan (that I’m thinking would be great in the living room actually) is called Boho.
I stopped being able to handle paint names when I found one that said “Sunshine Butter” AND IT WAS A GREEN COLOR A GREEN COLOR CALLED SUNSHINE BUTTER I JUST WHAT and then I broke.
Dead Salmon was my personal breaking point. Courtesy of Farrow&Ball.
Old National Geographic maps are some of the world’s most amazing ephemera.
Since I *do* have the day off (yay for being a state employee), I had time to actually make myself a real breakfast and it was so tasty.
Crispy Chicken with Carrot Noodles
~1 c shredded chicken (I was pretty hungry. Adjust to your own appetite.)
2 carrots
2 t fresh dill, chopped
1 t minced roasted onion
Coconut oil (I am allergic to dairy–if you aren’t, feel free to use butter, just don’t skimp, whatever you use)
Coconut aminos (I am allergic to soy–if you aren’t, feel free to use soy sauce)
Make carrot noodles with a vegetable peeler (tip: rotate carrot as you peel it so you don’t wind up with a bunch of really wide noodles). Heat an appropriate glob of coconut oil in a pan and toss in the carrots when the oil is hot. Stir occasionally while you make the crispy chicken.
In a separate pan, heat an appropriate glob of coconut oil (you need more than you think to get the chicken to crisp up) and throw in the shredded chicken. Let the chicken sizzle until it’s golden and kind of stuck to itself. Break up, stir around. Continue until it reaches an acceptable crispy level (this is something you need to figure out for yourself–I like mine pretty crispy, but I have to be careful not to let it burn).
When the chicken is about halfway done, add a few splashes of coconut aminos to the noodles, along with the dill and onion. Keep stirring more frequently than you do the chicken, and don’t cook so long that the carrots get mushy. You want your noodles to have some integrity.
Once both are done to your satisfaction, dish the noodles onto a plate and top with the crispy chicken. I added a bit of salt, but it wasn’t absolutely necessary.
This sounds incredible.
And so easy! Most of the stuff I throw together from what-can-I-do-with-these-leftovers winds up being one-pot or casserole stuff. This was totally worth dirtying the extra pan.
I have the mother of all colds. Sitting at my desk at work hacking and trudging to the kitchen every so often to refill my water glass. I was in such a hurry this morning I left my small Tupperware of lemon and honey that I was going to put in hot water all day long on the table.
Sniff. Sniff. January can bite me.
I have spent most of January with a cold, then feeling a little better so I stop taking cold meds, and then oh whoops I’m still sick. Sucks you’re at work with no lemon & honey!
I know the feeling! I should have bought stock in Tylenol Complete in December.
I tried to convince Mr. September he should go home on his break from school and bring some to me, but apparently that would cut into Homework-Doing. School wins out, I suppose…
I want to start some sort of system wherein people can pay a small monthly/yearly fee and then have things delivered to them when they are sick–meds, takeout, food, lemon and honey, tissues, etc. Deliverypeople will leave packages at the door (if at home) or deliver them to desks (if at office) and do not need to see the recipient in their miserable pajamas and unwashed hair.
(I had the flu over the holidays and thought this up. I maintain that it would be a workable business model.)
I will subscribe immediately. Hell, I’ll invest.
I know, right? Why is this not a thing already?
Yes, it is a holiday, but I had to get up at 6 am (after a night of insomnia) to go to work to watch a computer screen for eight hours, a responsibility I signed up for without remembering it was a holiday. Occasionally I fill out checklists. Hopefully nothing catches on fire.
That said, it IS a holiday, so I might spend the day not even trying to work, and instead research battle strategies for XCOM: Enemy Unknown, my new obsession. Fuck you cyberdiscs! You’re the absolute worst! (Well, except for Sectopods. You are the actual worst. You too, Chrysalids.)
Or I might just keep fighting with people online about Sherlock.
I have no idea if you and I are on the same side of Sherlock battles, but I had to give up the fights, as they were turning my brain into a rabid weasel.
*Nods to another soldier through the fog of war.*
And I think “giving up” is probably a damn good plan either way.
You wanna play checkers in no-man’s-land?
Damn this bloody, pointless war!
…I hate to think what “going over the top” is in this case…
I end up spectating small battles and trying to ignore it entirely, unless something crops up with my real life friends. But they’re real life friends for a reason, so those discussions are pretty okay!
Insomnia SUCKS. =(
Also, I do not understand all the Sherlock fighting. Can’t we just say some people liked Season 3 and some didn’t and LET IT GO ALREADY? …except the Moffat stans. They can just go hang.
Packed off my husband for a tasking at 2am Friday night/Saturday morning. Then Saturday some lovely neighbours shoved a note under our door saying we “SOUND LIKE ELEPHANTS” and we are “TOO LOUD AT 1:00 IN THE MORNING.”
Has a nasty note ever in the history of anything resolved anything? Trust me, folks, if it was up to us we would have been asleep at that hour, but if you know how to get 100lbs of military kit down the stairs via levitation I WOULD SURE LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT IT! And hey, if you don’t sign your name or apartment number, I can’t even apologize and explain!
Also, bite me. You live in an apartment, don’t expect silence.
Notes never ever work. And this is speaking as someone who is notoriously sensitive and passive-agressive when it comes to noise. My approach: single noisy incidents do not merit a mention. Again, apartment life is just that: noisy. Deal with it. *Routine* loud noise (clomping in high heels on a hardwood floor at 1 am) can merit an occasional “constructive” comment, but you do that shit in person like an adult.
Also, my solution to noise was finally to stop living in apartments. *Now silently seethes about leafblowers.*
Yeah, I mean, cities + density + housing stock = noise.
On the other hand, I do aggressively slam my door when my idiot downstairs neighbor plays the drum (which he got AFTER he got an amp and positively destroyed the art of a bass guitar) which about a month ago was at ten p.m. during finals week.
It’s a social contract that cuts both ways. I agree to not freak out and write nasty notes because I could hear your muffled sounds through the wall, and you agree to observe normal, polite human hours with respect to noise as part of your everyday schedule. The breaking of this social contract is why I am planning on moving to a castle tower on an island in the center of a lake in the center of a hundred square miles of old-growth forest in a no-flyover zone.
LIVING THE DREAM.
I’m hoping for the desert.
Also a good strategy and I support it!
Cicadas are going to be a lovely surprise. And bird mating season.
Yeeah. My husband has joked that once I get rid of human noise, I’ll start yelling at the goddamn birds.
I think you need a cave. Or a tower in the middle of the desert, surrounded by desolation.
Basically you need to become a witch.
I like the way you think!
Otherwise, I need to develop a portable noise-canceling forcefield which can completely soundproof a single property or room. Then, using the billion dollars I get from my invention, I can construct my eyrie.
But then I’ll have the forcefield, and I won’t need to build it any more?!
*CONFLICTED*
I’ve taken to living always on the top floor of apartment buildings, which helps a tremendous amount.
Yeah, if I ever move back to a city (which I probably will), I will DECIDEDLY do this.
I agree – if you’ve got a problem, say something in person, instead of a note. My solution was to move to an apartment just above a bar. I can stomp on the floor and play loud music to my heart’s content, nobody minds!
There was a a household of anonymous note leavers in our apartment building a while back – they would leave nasty unsigned notes in the laundry room, and on people’s door’s for everyone else to see. They were the worst.
Can I just say I hate my neighbors and their stupid loud children and their arguments? But I don’t assume they’re bad people and it generally doesn’t keep me from sleeping, so I just seethe to myself.
I once left a note that worked, but I went upstairs and knocked on the door (at 2:00am, after hours of, I dunno, bowling? And not for the first time) but she didn’t answer. I really think she didn’t have any idea how loud she was when she was up all night doing whatever strange things she was doing. It got better after that.
Anyway, a one-time loudness, and on a weekend – not a huge deal! Don’t worry about the note.
Anonymous mean notes are just asking to be ignored in my book. I live out in a little suburban subdivision with short driveways and lots of people parking on the wide street. After this past Thanksgiving, we got an anonymous note (through the mail!) chiding us for parking on the street for that one day when there were lots of visitors because what if EVERYONE PARKED THERE???.
As far as I’m concerned, if you’re complaining about a one-off situation to neighbors who don’t have a reputation for being troublesome, you better sign your complaint if you expect to be listened to at all. A multiple offender is another matter, but just once? Pfft.
If they had signed their note I would have gladly gone downstairs, apologized, and explained. But you don’t sign your note? Fuck you, I’ll continue doing as I please, and I’ll listen to you once you sack up and speak to me like a human.
Hey, at least you get words. My downstairs neighbors follow me around banging a broom handle on the ceiling if I wear shoes in the house (not heels, mind) in the early evening. (Clearly it’s not effective.)
DEFINITELY thought “packed off my husband for a tasking” was a euphemism
Me toooooo
The season finale of Sleepy Hollow airs tonight! I am excited but also sad that it will be gone so soon.
Me too! Last week’s episode was SO CREEPY, I’m kind of afraid of what they might do to top it. But maybe Ichy will put on the skinny pants again and I will feel better.
Surely they are a sign of the apocalypse
Or a sign that god loves us and wants us to be happy.
I have the day off and have spent the morning pretending to write, while actually messing with CSS on an interactive fiction story I’m working on.
And this afternoon, a jaunt to the museum! It’s a free day so it’ll probably be busy, but I’ll be surrounded by art which should mitigate my dislike of other people.
I love pretending to write AND museum free days. I took my two-year-old niece to our museum’s last one and it was great to spend some time in the areas that I hadn’t been in for a while – like the gemological collection – and to see what she was interested in (rocks, Escher, the First Nations exhibit). What kind of museum is it?
Museum of Fine Arts in Boston! A friend is dying to see the John Singer Sargent watercolor exhibition, and it’s the last day. Personally, I’ll probably insist on visiting the Buddhist temple room and the Ancient wing because I always do.
I would love to visit there someday. Actually, all of Boston. Actually, all of the East Coast of the States.
/broke Canadian.
Oh man, is today the last day? Crap. I’d been meaning to take my very artistic 11-yr-old to see it, since I saw it in Nov. with a friend and loved it.
(However, she is less thrilled about looking at art than she is at creating it, so maybe it’s for the best…)
Definitely last day — it was packed which I really ought to have expected.
Yeah, at 11 I would have much rather been given an afternoon with watercolors myself than look at anyone else’s, so I think you’re good. 😀
Fortunately, there are a ton of Sargents in the permanent collection at any old time (though admittedly more oils than watercolors on display normally)
After a backslide of a week, I’m approaching a more sober January again (although mostly just intentional sobriety, which hasn’t been so bad!) and am typing this after getting grouchy during a Skype call with my mom (who has very little sensory pick ups even in person, so, frustrated).
Not trying to down anyone out, but a year ago to this day my really good friend passed away young and unexpectedly and it basically changed my year but I want to spend this MLK day not falling into a pit because making positive change and running into better things, while accepting happiness is not my end all be all. And school is going not terribly, and I’m having pretty good sex while directly communicating, and practicing not being afraid of scarcity and taking care of my good friends while keeping toxic people away. That’s a good way to honor some memories, right?
Sorry for your loss. Taking care of yourself is the best way to honor someone.
As a perpetually single person, I’ve coped with Valentine’s Day in the past (and winter in general) by taking trips in mid-February so I could be doing kickass activities like repeling down waterfalls in Costa Rica that day. This year I’m (still) unemployed and not really in a position to take a trip, so this weekend I decided to host a big ole house party on Valentine’s Day for single and couple friends alike. I’m so psyched for my inclusive Valentine’s Day party and I love even more that I’m providing a fun alternative plan for any of my friends who might otherwise feel alienated by the day. I’m reclaiming this holiday for EVERYONE, dammit!
This sounds lovely! I think you are a wonderful friend 🙂
I’m happiest about being a forever alone on Valentine’s day: gifts, grand gestures, and symbolic events all make me uncomfortable. I was going to watch House of Cards and drink bourbon alone this year, but noooooo, my lovely friend is throwing a lovely Valentine’s party and now I have to go eat cake and drink wine and be around people.
One of the best decisions of my life was the decision that oh wow I don’t have to go to a [category of gathering] that will upset me unduly. I allowed myself a blanket decision: I just won’t go.
For me, that category is the dreaded baby shower. I don’t even tempt myself by dithering; I just decline the invitation with (TOTALLY FAKE) regrets. Maybe I send a present with a friend; maybe I deliver a dinner care-package after the baby’s born; maybe I do babysitting duty. But I never, ever sit around balancing a plate of pregnancy-safe cheeses and fruit on one knee and a glass of fruit juice in one hand, trying not to cry while everyone passes around tiny onesies and booties.
I like it! In this case, though, it’s a Single Lady Consolation Fete, so the only upsetting part will be the expectation that I should be upset about being single, when in reality the list of things I’d rather do than have a romantic dinner with a SO on Valentine’s day is vast (drinking bourbon alone, going to a friend’s party, getting a pap smear, trimming my cat’s claws, etc).
Oh, good! And I realize it speaks volumes about me that I assumed your fun party invitation felt like a weighty obligation.
Eh, I’m right there with you a fair percent of the time. Humans, what are they for?
I always found the bitter single valentine’s celebrations to be more entertaining than mushy romantic things… My heart is made of ice though.
So… I just bought a new bottle of fancy bitters. I’m thinking that every cocktail at my Valentine’s party should have some bitters in it! Because: bitterness! Or whatever? Some days this is my favorite kind of joke.
I love bitters and puns; let’s be friends.
FRIENDSHIP BEGUN.
Tell me: what are the best cocktails to make with bitters? I used to make one cocktail with bitters but then I ran out of the ingredients. I think it was a Manhattan. Because I never have vermouth anymore. But now I have bitters and I can be fancy again.
I like old-fashioneds (that looks weird–I like an old fashioned?), and when I make them at home I add a dash of club soda so they’re less intimidating. TBH mostly I just add bitters to…everything? Bourbon and bitters on ice! Ginger ale, whiskey and bitters! Club soda, grapefruit juice, gin and bitters! Gin and tonic and bitters (have not actually tried this; probably will tonight)!
Oh, I’m really pro gin and tonic lately. Because I bought this Portland gin (Aria!) and it turned out to be tasty and now I drink them a lot. And I’ll probably try an old-fashioned tonight!
As another perpetually single person, I was thinking that I should throw a party too! And since Valentine’s day is actually on a Friday, maybe even on the day. That sounds like a great party.
Whether I’m paired or single, I always hate Valentine’s Day. I do my best to ignore it. My mate and I have an agreement that we don’t really care about it, but we’d totally go to a house party like this.
This year we just happen to be taking a trip to Portland to see Lucius a few days before VD and were like, “Oh, look, we got each other a concert, how good of us.”
Me too! My ex and I always used to agree to ignore it, I’d ignore it, he’d get me something, I would feel awful. Thankfully newdude is not a valentiner.
I hear you–there’s plenty of people, single or coupled alike, who loathe the day. But I actually like the idea of the holiday. I love chocolate! I love red and pink, especially in February! The only thing I don’t love is the focus on romantic love. I don’t want the tone of my party be be consolatory with bitter singles trying to cope on Vday (although I do love the idea upthread of all cocktails featuring bitters), but more a Take Back the Holiday–Big Red Hearts for All kind of thing.
Oh, sure. Chocolate forever. I just don’t like the forced romanticism. It’s garish.
It helps, I think, if you just think of it as a massive lovefest, romantic love optional. I write love letters to everyone I know and if I have time I bake cookies and buy flowers and leave them on doorsteps like an elf in the wee hours. It is super-fun and then your day is filled with phone calls of people saying, “You are the best and I love you too.”
I have a strong suspicion that my new boy is a very Valentine-y person. I am… not. I mean I like read and pink and hearts and chocolate but dislike fancy dinners, hokey cards, and over-priced flowers. I really wish one of my friends would have a party so I could have a great excuse to skip that stuff!
I usually babysit on Valentine’s day to give my coupled-up friends with kids a break. I bring the kids valentines and heart-shaped chocolates and have a scotch after they go to bed.
ETA – but I would totally go to your party if I could!
That sounds perfectly lovely of you. Once my friends start having babies I will do the same.
Best time I did this was the first time my goddaughter told me she loves me!
heart-shaped chocolates for the win!
Aw, this is great! I endorse playing Cupid on Valentine’s Day with all my scrappy little heart.
I feel like we haven’t had This Week In Reading in a while, so I’ll ask: what is everyone reading?
I am reading Kate Bowler’s Blessed: A History of the American Prosperity Gospel and John Feinstein’s The Last Amateurs. I just finished rereading Agatha Christie’s The Clocks. All are delightful.
I have only the last few chapters of Elizabeth Gaskell’s North and South to go and I am already feeling separation anxiety. Why can’t it last FOREVER?
At least you can just watch the miniseries on endless loop.
Best screen kiss of all time, or best screen kiss of all time?
I have had Richard Armitage in my mind as Mr Thornton all through reading and I feel like it only enhances the whole experience, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN*.
*The in my pants experience, mostly.
Simultaneously working on Jeff Speck’s Walkable City (for work), Patricia Wrede’s Searching for Dragons (for nostalgia), and will be getting going on Stephen King’s The Drawing of the Three as soon as I finish my Dragons reread.
Just finished The Goldfinch, which I was pretty meh about. The scene setting is great, the characterization is hit and miss, and the plot is sort of nonsensical.
Also just read the most recent Julia Spencer-Fleming mystery, which was a bit too intense for me. I need to read something delightful!
I’m wrapping up The Goldfinch (DC Toastie bookclub!), and I grow…weary. The first half, maybe more, flew by, but I’m getting a little bogged down. Also, plot: what plot?
I am having the same problem re: the second half of the book. It’s just depressing now!
My mom gave me The Goldfinch for Christmas and we agreed to have our own little book club for it.
Then she had ONE DAY off work during a blizzard and texted me that evening “Done! Let me know when you finish!”
I thought *I* was a fast reader…
Have you read Gaudy Night? That is my go-to Positively Delightful older mystery for people who are frustrated with their recent books.
Yes! Sayers books are some of the few mysteries I actually re-read, and Gaudy Night is foremost among them. Wish I could read it for the first time again.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I’M REREADING DOROTHY SAYERS RIGHT NOW. I first read them about a month or two ago and they were SO GOOD. Gaudy Night <3 <3 Can I just say that I love their relationship?
I am listening to the audiobook RIGHT NOW. Harriet is just writing the letter about St George. Hurrah for Harriet and Peter!
I often empathize with “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I write a piece of straightforward prose on a set subject?”
I’m a sub-editor, so I generally empathise with it on behalf of the people whose work i am editing!
The conversation between Harriet and Miss De Vine did completely inform my opinions on relationships though. it’s done me well so far! This book was also one of the main reasons I wanted to go to Oxford, and I always thought of meringues when I ran across Tom Quad.
One of my favorite things about the Harriet/Lord Peter relationship: how carefully they negotiate the issue of gratitude. He saved her life, and it makes their relationship SO DIFFICULT and I like that Sayers didn’t just… sweep that under the rug. They have to negotiate it. I just finished rereading The Five Red Herrings and I love that Harriet is sometimes mean to Wimsey, because oh man, who wouldn’t be? He’s nuts. But they still stick together and they solve mysteries and it is complicated. I want more good explorations of complicated relationships in my detective fiction please.
I am thumbs-upping everyone in this subthread like mad; you are all the best.
But most importantly, this. Actually talking about things! Willingly acknowledging the romantic roadblocks (rather than the typical “hide your mysterious feelings” fiction approach), and sticking out the time it will take for them not to completely define your relationship any more.
(spoilers) I also love that it takes an ENTIRE CASE–the longest book–about people who hate lady academics for being lady academics for Lord P. to fully realize how important Harriet’s own ambitions and intellect are. I only regret that I didn’t read this book until I was already well into university and thus could not head to Oxford like Es_Petal to live the dream.
I did actually say so in my interview as well when they asked me why I picked Christ Church to apply to!
Although, I read it as more ‘H realising that P respects her ambitions and intellect’ – I never got the impression that he didn’t realise it, only that she thought he didn’t. There’s the bit about him saying disagreeableness will not turn you back, and her then going ‘oh, if he thinks like that then I’ve got to rethink my refusal a bit’.
Fair! I most recently read/watched Gaudy Night several years ago for a class about women in academia, so I may have been projecting a bit of general cultural milieu. Clearly this just means that I need to carve out some time for another rereading!
I love Gaudy Night so much. Women in academic + 1930s. Awesome.
Can’t WAIT to get to it in my rereading. I’m like, tingling.
When I am not wishing I could live in the Toast open thread, I am wishing I could live in Gaudy Night.
Essentially the same thing? Discuss amongst yourselves.
oh my fucking god I love Gaudy Night so very much; it’s one of my top five favorite books of all time.
I love the Vane-Whimsey dynamic; I love the scene on the river where Harriet suddenly realizes how attracted she is to Lord Peter; I love how the book presents a bunch of different examples of women in relationships– both in academia and out of academia– for the readers and for Harriet to examine.
I could write an actual essay about how much I love this book. And Busman’s Honeymoon is a close second.
Rereading Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight for book club, while reading The Rhetorics of Fantasy for fun (which is possibly the dorkiest thing ever).
I just finished Parasite by Mira Grant. Next up are Nation by Terry Pratchett and one of the Mass Effect novels. I don’t have especially high expectations for the Mass Effect book, but I won it as a door prize, so I might as well try it. And I do like the games.
How was Parasite? I really, really loved Feed, but found the rest of the trilogy very disappointing.
I really liked some parts of it. But a few bits felt sort of repeated from the Newsflesh series, and it ended with a lot of loose ends and a “to be continued,” which was sort of annoying. Maybe borrow it from the library rather than buying it?
Also, are you aware that Mira Grant is a pen name for Seanan McGuire? She’s written a whole bunch of non-horror stuff under her own name. I quite like the Velveteen stories and Indexing, and the InCryptid series has been pretty good so far. I’m less fond of the first few Toby Daye books, but I’ve just read one from a bit later in the series and it was ok.
Oh, loose ends aren’t a good sign, especially since I now like to pretend that Feed is a stand-alone novel (and I do appreciate being able to do that).
I am aware of that. I read some of the Toby Daye books and found them fun (though they are certainly in the genre of detective novels where the main character is the Worst at solving mysteries and everyone nonetheless acts like they’re Sherlock Holmes.)
I should probably try some of her other work.
It is definitely not feasible to pretend that Parasite is a stand-alone novel.
She publishes the Velveteen stories on her LiveJournal, and then they get collected later. The collected versions are a teensy bit more polished, but you could start with some of the online ones to see if you want to go for the collections. The first one is here.
As long as it’s one of the Mass Effect novels by Drew Karphyshyn you should be okay – the one by Dietz did not get good reviews.
I think it is! I think it’s the first one.
Splitting my time between The Art of Fielding (for a super non-athlete I have a soft spot in my heart for pop culture narratives about baseball) and the extravagantly-titled Strippers, Showgirls, and Sharks: A Very Opinionated History of the Broadway Musicals That Did Not Win the Tony Award by Peter Filichia.
You should read The Cheater’s Guide to Baseball sometime. I was in a writing class with the guy who wrote it. It’s super fun though.
omg thank you for alerting me to the existance of that broadway musicals book, it’s now at the top of my wish list
Peter Filichia is a very easy and entertaining read! I also enjoyed one of his other books, Broadway Musicals: the Biggest Hit and the Biggest Flop of the Season, 1959 to 2009. Other musical theatre books I’ve enjoyed: Changed for Good: A Feminist History of the Broadway Musical by Stacy Wolf and Everything Was Possible: The Birth of the Musical Follies by Ted Chapin.
I am always always always on the hunt for books about musicals, so I’ll happily take any recs if you have them!
Your comment was my introduction to the entire “books about musicals” GENRE, so I have no recs, I’m sorry!
The only repayment I have for your sage recommendations is that I just finished Home: A Memoir of My Early Years by Julie Andrews and the parts about the development of My Fair Lady and Camelot were pretty awesome? That part though was probably the last quarter of the book, so, depending on how much you care about the early to mid-century vaudeville scene in England you might not want to bother, haha.
Rob Delaney: Mother. Wife. Sister. Human. Warrior. Falcon. Yardstick. Turban. Cabbage. (so far so good, incredibly although he is a white dude so occasionally includes VERY mildly racially problematic Twitter humor)
Americanah (it’s so good but I hardly ever have the mental energy to read it properly)
I am reading Laurie Halse Anderson’s The Impossible Knife of Memory for tumblr’s reblog book club, and I just bought the audiobook for Katie Heaney’s Never Have I Ever to start listening to on my way home tonight. I am not sure about that one, but I liked her writing on the Pin, so I want to give it a try.
I miss This Week In Reading too! My last two books were Americanah (really, really good) and The Circle (the characters/plotting were a little bit frustrating, but the concept was chilling and made it a good read, I thought. All last week, I kept hearing the news and feeling like the book was coming true). Currently reading Lonesome Dove, because Western epics are the stuff of my dreams.
I’m reading Balzac’s Illusions Perdus which is, unsurprisingly, taking foreeeeever. I’m finally starting to get into it, which is nice.
Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States. I want to hear from Toasties who have read it already, please.
I haven’t read it since college, so I wouldn’t be able to have an intelligent conversation about it. I am, however, currently wearing the tshirt I got from an event where I met Howard Zinn and was inspired to read his book.
I JUST finished “The Little Friend” by Donna Tartt last night – I need to ruminate over it more but it certainly was a book, yes. And I was going to launch right into “The Goldfinch” but my library hold on “Americanah” came up so I think that’s next!
I loved The Little Friend. I remain the only person I know who agrees with me.
I listen to audiobooks on the bus. Does that count? Most recently, I’ve been absolutely delighted by Tony Horwitz’s Confederates in the Attic. (After having just completed his not-as-good-but-still-pretty-good A Voyage Long and Strange.)
The book is 10 years old and still feels fresh and true to me. I’m a lifelong Yankee who spent a summer in Memphis, and Horwitz’s wide-eyed wonder at the nation-within-a-nation feeling you get in the south reminds me of my own time there. I wish he would write an update for the post-9/11 perspective.
YES, audiobooks count as reading! I am the only one in my family not to finish Confederates in the Attic–he spends a fair amount of time in a town where my parents live now (we are Canadians who have spent over a decade in the US South), and the “wide-eyed wonder” got to me after a while. I will read it eventually, though, because it seems interesting!
I can imagine. There are vignettes that feel more like a trip to the zoo than objective journalism.
I just finished Alif the Unseen and almost entirely loved it. And I’m reading some non-fiction (a book about interactive fiction, occasionally dipping into The Elegant Universe), but I have to figure out what novel to pick up next! My favorite thing to do.
I loved Alif the Unseen! So many great ideas in that book.
Yeah! I love the melding of technology and spiritual/intangible things. And the way we’re starting to not know how our own tech works.
I tried reading Alif the Unseen on my Kindle but… it never really grabbed me. I don’t know why. 🙁
Hmm, well, Alif is kind of a wet sock for the first bit of the book if that’s part of it. But sometimes books just don’t grab you! Everyone makes it sound like I should like Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell and I have never been able to make it very far in.
I loved Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell the first time I read it, because something about the language really worked for me. But it’s such a HUGE book. I tried rereading it and could not finish it again. Too distractable.
It took me a few goes to get into it but then it took me along and I raced through it. It still took ages because it’s a massive tome, but once I got into it, it really worked. I’ve got it on the kindle now and I’m hoping it’ll inspire me to reread it, having previously been put off by the sheer size and difficulty of holding the bloody thing.
Large books usually don’t stop me! I remember enjoying certain passages, but then there would be nothing to catch me for ages and my reading would slow down… until two years had passed and I was still only 300 pages into it. Can we have William Goldman do a “good parts* version”? Because that extra level of metatextuality and a smidge of attitude might do it for me.
*Not to say anything bad about the parts that are there! Just a reference to The Princess Bride.
I would love a good parts version. (And I quite want to read the Morgenstern version of the Princess Bride.)
Giant books are a proper problem for me – I’ve got little hands anyway and broke one hand and wrist badly a few years back, I physically can’t hold big books up for long! My kindle has been a godsend in that regard – I had stalled on The Crimson Petal and the White for ages before I got the ebook, and there are a few others I am really looking forward ro rereading electronically.
I READ DOCTOR SLEEP LAST WEEK
Then my head exploded. After years of mediocrity (and occasional dips back into incessant, unnecessary wordiness), awwww yissss. (I still maintain that Full Dark, No Stars was FREAKING FANTASTIC, by the way.)
I’m reading Tampa right now, which was published last year. It’s about a woman middle school teacher who … Well, I just can’t. But a fourteen y-o boy, anyway, and I’m feeling a little green at the gills reading it.
I’ve got that but haven’t read it yet – I loved her short story collection so grabbed Tampa without really looking at what it was about, then I did look at what it was about and haven’t read it yet. Is it at least good, while green-gill-making?
Hmm.
Well, the two most common comparisons I’ve seen to the book are Lolita and American Psycho. Obviously the writing is not as good as Lolita because very little is and there’s no stealthy manipulation from Nutting to make the character sympathetic like Nabakov managed to do. And if we’re talking totally unlikable, crazy SOB’s like Patrick Bateman, Nutting still doesn’t reach that level of satire.
To some extent, I’m reading it fat to get it over with.
Also, I didn’t really answer your question. It’s up in the air until I finish it.
I did hear her short stories were excellent.
Hmm indeed! The short stories are fantastic – please don’t be put off by this if you come across them. I *hated* American Psycho, I can’t get on with BEE at all. I shall give it a try and be forewarned, thankyou!
The Clocks is only #19 on my list of the best Christie novels featuring Poirot, and yet it is still delightful. Colin, Sheila and little girls with broken legs and binoculars 4eva.
Is this a real list? Please share #s 1-5 AT LEAST so I can prioritize my reading.
This is a real list that I put together a while back, and thought I’d posted on my blog, but forgot. So I just did – and here it is. Happy to debate/discuss/defend my choices at any time…
Yessssss. Thank you! Of your top 10, I have read 1, 3, 5, 8, and 9, and I remember what happened in all of them, which is more than I can say for Hallowe’en Party or After the Funeral for sure. I might reread Orient or Roger Ackroyd next, just for sheer excellence.
So The Labors of Hercules is actually a series of short stories, all strung together by the fact that the cases…you guessed it, sort of mirror the 12 Labors (Augean Stables, Nemean Lion, Cretan Bull, etc.). An easy but very entertaining read.
The Big Four is a very sentimental favorite of mine – it’s sort of Poirot-goes-James-Bond and takes out a group of global supercriminals. Both of these feature Hastings, which just makes them better.
I suggest saving Curtain ’til after you’ve read all the others, because it is amazing and jaw-dropping and the perfect end to the Poirot books.
OKAY. I read The Labours of Hercules earlier this week because I got stuck in a train station for multiple hours and they had it in the bookstore. DELIGHTFUL. So much better than The Clocks! Now to find The Big Four…
Thanks for sharing your superlist!
So glad you liked it! Hope you find The Big Four soon…you’ll never look at breadcrumbs the same way again…
What Mrs. McGillicuddy Saw didn’t even make the list???!
SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET IS WRONG!!!
What Mrs. McGillicuddy Saw, while a fabulous mystery novel, is a Miss Marple, so it was not included on this list of Poirot mysteries.
Uhhhh, so it’s looks like I’m the person on the internet who’s wrong.
What a dork!
No no no, just a misunderstanding! I should turn my attention to the Miss Marple books next, as she is as badass as Poirot in her own deceptively mild, woolly way.
Joe Abercrombie’s First Law fantasy series. It really should be everything I hate about modern fantasy – traditional “low” fantasy tropes mixed with lots of gritty violence, a lack of well-developed female characters, and some questionable exoticism. But god damn it it’s too damn charming and fun and the characters are all so pleasantly unpleasant that I’m really enjoying the books. It’s like a much shorter, dirtier Game of Thrones (also, a finished series, whee). Gotta finally read Lois McMaster Bujold afterwards in penance.
I’m re-reding all the Harry potter books, and I’m about 1/4 of the way through GOF. I haven’t read any of the books since the last one came out (2007), and it’s all just as delightful as I remember it.
I did a reread before the last movie and then another one a few years before that and they’re amazing to go back and visit. Have fun!
Thanks! I have spent many a lunch break reading in my car this month.
Husband and I are also re-reading Harry Potter. I know it is a cliche, but it honestly feels like reuniting with old friends. 🙂
It does! I am weirdly excited to get to the Yule Ball, because Neville is my favorite character, and that’s such a fantastic moment for him in the books. I can’t wait to read that part.
Ahhh my boyfriend is reading them for the first time, and it is delightful to witness.
I just started Fosse by Sam Wasson. It’s interesting because I like Bob Fosse’s work but know very little about him. There is a certain irritating tone to the book at times, though, almost like fawning. I read a biography of David Bowie last month that had the same thing going on and it drives me nuts because I can’t quite put my finger on what specifically troubles me about it. Both books are still enjoyable! But they could be better if they didn’t vaguely irritate me on occasion.
I just finished The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao (so good and sad) and am going to start Rebecca Solnit’s Hope in the Dark.
I love Rebecca Solnit!
bringing up the bodies by Hilary mantel
Slow getting into this one, while I devoured wolf hall
I’m rereading Melanie Rawn’s Dragon Prince/Dragon Star books for at least the fifteenth time. Highly recommended if you like A Song of Ice and Fire – it’s a little less brutal and unfeeling, which only makes the sad moments hurt more. The first book sounds like it’s going to be a romance (and sort of is for the first half or so) but then it turns into a huge saga of politics, magic, dynastic succession, awesome castles, sorcery, etc.
I’m just about to finish Stronghold, which means one of the most heart-breaking events in a series filled with them is just about to happen. Sigh.
I’ve never read Melanie Rawn for some reason. I’ll add them to my list…
Yay – hope you like them. Her Exiles series is great too, but I don’t know if she’ll ever write the third book in the trilogy. The Dragon Prince and Dragon Star trilogies are complete.
I just finished The Orphan Master’s Son, Home (Julie Andrews be my grandmother 4ever please) and Maphead. They were all good reads, but I’m glad to finally be done trying to juggle 3 plotlines. This morning I picked up Born to Run and am already 75 pages in – I wasn’t expecting it to be such an entertaining read!
I finished Where’d you go Bernadette? last week and adored every word of it. Now I’m reading David Sederis’ latest and Michael Cunningham’s “By Nightfall.” I keep wavering on whether to start “The Goldfinch” next – I loved “The Secret History” and hated the other one.
I’m reading Jaqueline Koyanagi’s Ascension and listening to David Attenborough’s autobiography on audiobook. Not simultaneously.
Toasties: have you ever read Sunshine by Robin McKinley? It’s one of my comfort books, guys. Love it so much.
Also, who else likes Lynn Flewelling’s books? Because thieves and spies who just also happen to be elves and also a relationship where I was like, oh man, I’m totally shipping these two dudes but it’s not going to happen and THEN IT DOES and it’s sweet.
I’ve read it! It was excellent.
“The Stand” … I just made it through Book 1 and it is slow goings.
I’m reading this n+1 book of conversations among 12 female writers (and suchlike folks) about “life and reading in their early twenties”. It’s really good! http://shop.nplusonemag.com/products/no-regrets
Specifically, I want Elif Batuman to be my friend:
“I had the worst time ever trying to read Henry Miller in Samarkand. I had a serious crush on a guy who said that Sexus, Plexus, and Nexus were the best books ever, so I went to a bookstore, and they were too expensive, so I just got Sexus and Plexus. And I brought them with me to Samarkand. I felt so alienated by the books, and then thinking about this guy, and it was so hot and summertime…I just wanted to kill myself. Then I didn’t know what to do with the books, because they had these naked ladies on the cover. I think I wrapped them in paper and put them in the garbage.”
That movie sounds amazing and I’m going to get my brother to go see it with me (he is my terrible greek mythology movie buddy of choice) and we are going to have so much fun.
Sadly, being Canadian, I’m at work today because I couldn’t justify taking another day off work despite still coughing and sniffling my way around- I had two sick days last week and while my job is really permissive about taking time off I really do like money especially since I need to move in tow months.
I still wish I was at home in bed with some tea.
It’s a grey winter day here in the West Kootenay but there is sunshine in my heart because I’m free to love up a wee horse this afternoon. I’ve known “Red” for a year now and we’ve come such a long way together (his early training took a cruel turn and he ended up with some severe trust issues but he’s got a good heart and really wants to please).
Red isn’t my horse (LONG STORY) but he is looking for a forever home and I could be the one if I gain more self confidence in riding him; yet I know he would do best with a really experienced and caring horseman/woman who can rebuild his confidence and show the world what a truly lovely horse he is, inside and out.
Gah! White girl problems, I know, sorry for rambling on!
I hope things work out for you and Red. I used to rehab horses like this for a living – it’s tough, but ever so rewarding.
Thank you for the kind reply! He did really well on the ground and in the round pen this afternoon. He comes from pretty intense working cow/reining lines and it shows: super bright, sensitive and a quick mover. Now we just got to get outside and tackle the big scary woods (I’m hoping for late spring/early summer).
Also, horsey rehabbers belong to the “unsung heroes” category. I really admire people like you!
Also everyone come and play Misdeed/Justice with us on Twitter 🙂
I was tempted, but life has been pretty good lately:)
All I have is the OKCupid story I told last week. Oh, also someone messaged me to ask if I wanted a submissive slave boy. That was weird. OKCupid is kind of awkward sometimes but there is an absolute delight in COMPLETELY IGNORING MEN.
I swear, I’ve gotten better/more respectful emails from FetLife than I have from OKC. But am on hiatus from both for the best of reasons:)
I’m busy doing homework and trying not to freak out because my internship starts tomorrow! I want to wear my red Docs for my first day, but I have a suspicion that those won’t fall under “business casual,” so black boots it is.
What the hell does “business casual” mean, anyway? It is a mystery.
Can you tell I’m babbling because I’m nervous?
Business casual is tough! It can mean anything from khakis and a polo shirt up to slacks and a button down shirt and a blazer (but not all matched up like a suit). I work in a business casual environment that can tolerate some in the way of red boots, but we’re “arty.” Probably best to wait and see on that…
And congrats on your internship!
Thanks! Both for the congrats and the advice. 🙂 I’m very excited!
I would think about what you saw the people who work there wearing and try to be *slightly* neater/more formal than that, until you’re a bit more comfortable, then you may be able to introduce some Docs etc
I think that’s the plan. They seemed pretty casual, but that was back in December and I could be remembering wrong. I’m gonna start with slacks or a nice skirt and see where to go from there. Thanks!!!
Safest definition of business casual: dress as well as possible, but not in a suit. Suits are business formal.
My fall-back is half a suit: either a blazer with a nice shirt and dark jeans/non-suit skirt or suit pants with a nice shirt and a cardigan/non-suit jacket. Once you get more aquainted with what they actually mean by “business casual” you can dress down a bit more. The other rule would be to not show too much skin or wear something tight until you see the office norms on that one, too.
Oh! Hello! Awkward houseguest update!!
Friday afternoon we went to a museum then watched a movie (Butter, which is excellent). All three parents arrived for dinner, and then I took myself to bed.
Saturday my sister came, and activities were limited to trying and mostly failing to strip the lead paint off my old steel windows. Sunday was more of the same. The guys got back around the time my family left, and she hung out with them (And I went to a bridal expo with a friend, which was kind of terrible, but I got to eat all the cake samples I could hold!)
It wasn’t too terrible, from an awkwardness perspective, mostly due to having so many people around as buffers. It was a little terrible from a conversation standpoint – she is the worst one-upper I’ve ever met (best part is when she portrayed her illness that caused bad headaches as worse than my mom’s friend’s same illness, which had her in a coma for three weeks and left her completely deaf… that was a hoot!). Anyway, she’s at the airport now, and we all survived, so, yay!
So, anybody have any easy & non-toxic advice for stripping lead paint from steel windows? (We were using 3M Safest Stripper, which doesn’t seem to mutate fetuses, and which kind of worked a little bit after sitting for 24 hours… Heat gun is a no-go; steel expands too much and cracks the glass. Ask me how I know!)
Oh, that was this weekend already! I’m glad you got through it so swimmingly.
One-uppers are the worst conversationalists, especially because I always suspect their reasoning is solipsistic: “But objectively, a headache is worse than a coma because the headache happened to me.”
Glad it mostly went well!
I’m having a day where I feel really burned out about most internet feminism. I’m not saying the anger isn’t justified; I’m just tired of a lot of rage and what feels like an impossible ideal to meet as a feminist. Sometimes, I’m going to like things that aren’t perfect, or that are run by people who aren’t feminist, and I would just like to feel like I could say that without being hated for being antifeminist or a bad person or whatever. You Toasties are lovely; please, I’m not talking about you. It’s just some of the other shit that goes on that makes me want to curl up and hide some days, you know?
I hear you. I think it’s okay to take a break from being your Activist Self sometimes. While I do make an effort to consume media that aligns with my feminist values, I accept that said media is REALLY hard to find, and that it’s hard to let go of old habits from my pre-activist days.
I also find it really condescending when people in activist circles try to “your fave is problematic” you. Like, you are intelligent enough that you probably already KNOW it’s problematic.
Right? On the one hand, I’m almost always up for a discussion of the sometimes-subtle intolerance portrayed in pop culture, and especially in my favorite things. On the other hand, do you* really think I didn’t have a half-hour conversation inside my head about, say, transphobia in “30 Rock” while I was doing dishes last night? Because YOU’D BE WRONG.
These conversations are interesting, and I’ll go farther and say they’re important because they point out the ways that bigotry and privilege permeate our lives. But they work best when no one appoints themselves the authority or pretends that their favorite pop-culture object is above reproach.
*where “you” is the person criticizing pop culture from an unassailable peak of perfection.
Yes! These conversations are important, and I like to have them. But it can so easily turn into: “how dare you like that?” And the answer is, because I see some good in it (but also the bad.) And you have things that you like that I find appalling, because I see the bad in it more than the good. We are all coming from somewhere different, and I don’t want to be around people who can’t make some allowances for that.
I was feeling this way recently in regards to a controversial music video.
I’m afraid that if there are too many people saying “YOURE NOT FEMINIST ENOUGH” that others will just not even want to try it out.
I always try to be the kind of feminist who doesn’t make other women feel bad about not fitting some unrealistic standard of feminism. We have too many unrealistic standards already; that’s kind of the point! Of course, this means recognizing that those who hold up those ideals are just doing what they think is best and respecting that (this is hard, as I’m not perfect myself), but that doesn’t make them right. Hang in there!
Thanks guys. Some days I just get really bogged down in it. And I don’t feel like that particular kind of self-criticism is helpful (not that self-criticism isn’t a good thing, we got to keep an eye on ourselves/our privilege, etc). But me feeling terrible for enjoying video games and wanting to call myself a gamer without spending every single goddamn second calling out the misogyny/homophobia/racism in a lot of video games and gamer culture is an awful way to live. I want to find a balance where I don’t get so stressed out about whether I’m “doing it right.” And man, I’ll be damned if I’m going to let the nastiness push me out. CAN’T STOP THIS.
Ohh, okay, Pretty sure I know just what you’re talking about. I think the problem is that people are quicker than before (? or maybe just more aggressive about it?) to assume the worst of each other, which results in a culture of distrust in which everyone’s so afraid of being labeled a misogynist or whatever that they try to protect themselves by calling other people misogynists first. I also think there’s a strong culture of trust here in the Toast comments, which is why it’s so awesome.
Yes, I like the comments here! I always read the comments here (thanks Nicole and Mallory for providing for a good discussion without letting through the nastiness; it’s so appreciated.) And I admit I’ll be defensive when I get called out on my shit, but when it’s coming from someone here? I hope that I’ll be able to process that and respond thoughtfully. Cause Toasties are good folks.
All of this. I’m having a really hard time lately with a vicious cycle of feeling guilty about consuming unfeminist media like most video games and video game adjacent sites, then feeling guilty about not feeling guilty enough. I feel like if I were a better feminist, I would be willing to give up the things I like for my ideals, but then I also think that it’s ridiculous to be miserable all of the time because I’m denying myself things that I enjoy.
Yep, I’ve been going through the same thing!! I want to be an ethical/thoughtful consumer of media and entertainment, but if you look hard enough you can find something wrong with just about everything.
(Speaking of games that have occasionally been excoriated by progressives for having capital-P Problematic elements, that’s an A+ icon/username combo there!)
Actually, I feel like there’s been a lot of conversation along these lines recently in the online feminism-o-sphere, particularly in the gaming sector. On the one hand, some anger and calling out is necessary. On the other hand, that drive towards purity-of-thought has created a lot of toxic culture and circular firing squads that end up, ironically, making people feel more unwelcome and unsafe. Zoya Street and Mattie Brice had some particularly good pieces looking at the current state of civility and anger in the progressive gamer community.
I feel like the whole state of online discourse right now could generally benefit from more people arguing in good faith. (And this is one reason I love The Toast and its comments.)
I’ve spent all weekend spotting LJL in pop culture.
We’re through the looking glass here, people.
I went to Target the other day and was seeing it everywhere. EVERYWHERE. On women who I don’t think actually had it; I was just hallucinating or something.
It was wonderful.
I don’t know what this is. 🙁
Lesbian Jawline (is what I think NeoRetroDiaries meant; otherwise I’m embarrassed now. But then I’ll go look up some Lesbian Jawline and feel better).
OH. I did not know we were… acronymizing? this. I did not see any this weekend but I will be looking out for it.
I’m a bridesmaid in an upcoming wedding and just got my first “Hey Ladies!” email! Here we go!
Compile the highlights for us and drink heavily.
I’m currently in the midst of trying to feel motivated about planning a shower for my sister. Who is lovely, but showers. Blegh. Anyone have ideas of ways to make a few hours with my sister and my mother’s closest friends a bit more fun? (the family friends are all lovely people who I’ve known my whole life – but I want to do SOMETHING/ANYTHING besides quizzing her about her fiance and watching her open gifts).
I’m trying to avoid sending the “Hey Ladies” email to the other bridesmaids before having some sort of idea of what we’ll do.
I went to the best “shower” ever this summer. It was a mixed shower (both men and women) and was held in the private room of a bar with a few drink specials going on. Aside from the gifts on the table (which were not ceremoniously opened during the event), it was indistinguishable from a cocktail party. Even if this is a little too unconventional to pull off in your case, maybe you can borrow elements from it to make it less painful?
My daughter did a shower last fall where a local chef came and taught their mixed group how to make an Italian meal. Everybody had great time plus now she knows how to make gnocchi.
Laser tag.
I should add that it is a nice group of Ladies and I don’t anticipate too much trauma but the message I got (re: the shower) was a solid paragraph of semi-run-on-sentences and it’s just too much information to process and respond to at once! :-0
@SleepyFrances – I really don’t like the “traditional” shower activities either. :-/ If we come up with anything interesting/not terrible, I’ll be sure to share!
Share your shower ideas with me too! There are 3 of us bridesmaids, all out of state, and the other 2 are completely disinterested. The shower date was set 6 months in advance. One bridesmaid flat-out refused to fly in for the shower and a bachelorette separately while the other flat-out refused to get someone to cover her shift so we could double up. I’m doing a lot of smiling and nodding.
Oh my god, good luck. I’m a bridesmaid in a wedding next weekend and planning the bachelorette party was hell itself.
Thank God one of my best friends is also in the bridal party and she and I see eye-to-eye on this kind of thing. We had a lot of side conversations to vent our frustrations. Seriously, how hard is it to pick a restaurant to eat dinner at? Very hard, apparently.
Does anyone play board games? What are your favorite games for 2 players?? My boyf and I have been playing a lot but my library is pretty thin on 2-player games so I’m bored!
Games!! I enjoy games with at least some amount of luck built in, because otherwise my boyfriend just constantly beats me. Some two-player options that I’ve enjoyed:
City of Thieves
Dominion (it works *okay* with two people – not the greatest, but still my favorite game.)
Hive
Blockus (built for 4 people; the two-player version just means that each player takes 2 colors)
http://boardgamegeek.com/ is a little hard to deal with sometimes, but if you set the filters right, they do have some excellent reviews.
I’d also love to hear other people’s takes on 2-person games!
Oh man Blokus. One time in high school I was sort-of dating a guy I went to his house for what I’m sure he thought was makeout time, but I saw his family pulling out Blokus and they asked if we wanted to play. I said yes, OBVIOUSLY, and watching him pout while we had game night with the family was hilarious. He did not call me again, though.
Um, is no one else going to make this joke? Fine. He got cock-Blokus’d.
I used to like Lunar Rails a lot (mainly because I always randomly won). I saw a Gormenghast game when I was buying calendars the other week, I’d have had that if I had anyone to play stuff with.
I <3 Blokus so much, but it’s practically a game requirement to trash-talk the entire time, which puts some people off it. Either that or I just take board games entirely too seriously, doubly so when they’re abstract spatial games.
going old-school: cribbage is great for two people! just get a little cribbage board. i used to play it all the time with my dad as a kid and he did tend to win more, but i definitely got in there and won some games too.
Oh, man. Do I play board games!
If you own Catan you can modify that to work for two players! I’m also a sucker for Scrabble, and don’t rule out card games (especially 313). Dominion can also be really fun with 2 players.
There’s also a card version of Catan explicitly for two players, which is kind of neat.
My boyfriend and I play boardgames together all the time! Our favourites are Carcassone and Agricola. Carcassone is really simple to learn and fast to play. For Agricola, you want the 2-person All Creatures Great and Small version, not the full one. It’s a little more complicated, but it’s still pretty easy to learn and you get to build little houses for tiny wooden animals.
Yeah, Carcassonne is great!
Ticket to Ride is also good with 2 people.
Moby-Dick, Or, The Card Game is actually very good: http://www.mobydickgame.com/officialsite/
(the rule booklet needs some editing – a couple contingencies aren’t covered – but the game play is excellent, plus, Melville!)
Phase 10, while technically a card game and not a board game, is super flexible and fun for as many people as you have, and even for 2 people., and we use to pass time pleasantly during sporting events. (I get bored…so the husband feeds me nachos and plays games during football. Everyone wins!)
Husband and I usually play:
Rummikub
Scrabble
Sequence
Burrows
Ticket to Ride (Better with more people. With only two things can get a bit heated.)
Catan (same caveat)
Trivial pursuit (or really anything with trivia)
I dunno, every time I’ve played Ticket to Ride with more than two people, someone gets boxed out and table-flipping angry about it.
I’m fond of Pandemic. It’s a co-operative game, and it’s easier with fewer players, so with two you would get the satisfaction of beating it a little more often.
Wait! Is Pandemic really easier with fewer players? You just blew my mind. I always find it insanely stressful but I’ve never played with less than 4.
Yes! With fewer players, it’s way more likely that someone will get enough cards to cure each disease without having to trade.
Of course, the down side is that there’s fewer of you to deal with hotspots, and less chance that someone will have whichever roles you find most useful. But I think it’s still easier overall.
If you’re not at least occasionally getting close to winning with four players, maybe check out this list of the most often confused Pandemic rules. It’s possible that you’ve misread something and are making it harder than it should be.
Forbidden Island and Forbidden Desert are pretty fun (& they’re cooperative, for people who like that kind of thing)
I quite enjoy Seven Wonders (especially with the leader expansion pack). If you play with two people, the level of strategy required is a lot higher than when you play with a bigger group, since you cooperatively run a third “player”. It’s fun and full of historical geekery!
Yes! I got this for my gentleman friend for Christmas, and the two player mechanism is really neat. We’ve played it a few times and the scores are creepily consistent, which I’d take a sign of really good game design. I’ve played it with the full seven people as well, and it scales very well.
I’ve never played it with only two people but I love that game!
Cargo Noir works alright with two players, and I don’t think anyone’s mentioned it yet. Carcasonne’s good too, though one person typically winds up with all the farms and thus all the points (and it’s never me >:( )
I like Set with two people (although it is a card game not a board game). Although it lacks the kind of randomness that can give the less skilled player a leg up, so it’s really only fun if your skill levels are evenly matched.
Flash Point Fire Rescue is another cooperative game that works pretty well with 2 players.
I am one of the lucky people who has today off, and my plan was to do laundry. Then, I looked at my laundry basket and saw that I only had about half a load of laundry in there. WHAT TO DO NOW?
In other news, I stopped hormonal birth control a week ago after having taken it for 8 years. There have been some shaky moments (intense vertigo and fatigue) but I also… like myself a lot more? For the first time I can remember, I looked in the mirror and thought “dang girl you have a cute body.” I have never thought that about myself, ever! Also noticing a lot less negative self-talk so I’m thinking the hormone-free life is gonna be great.
I’m pretty sure I’ve become a substitute girlfriend and it suuuuucks.
what is a substitute girlfriend??
A substitute boyfriend/girlfriend is when you’re basically dating (spending all weekend together, hanging out all the time, basically a “we”) but with none of the benefits (making out, sex, commitment). It eventually must have a “break up” point.
Like @corfay I would like to know.
Theories: substitute girlfriend is when you are someone’s girlfriend but they are not over their ex and talk about their ex all the time and think you have the same opinions/desires/dislikes as their ex. (Been there, done that.)
Another: your friend’s girlfriend is away so now you are substitute till the actual girlfriend comes back and you are sadly ditched.
Recently my three year old has been requesting readings of Miss Rumphius constantly. Did anyone else have that one as a kid? Miss Rumphius lives in her home by the sea and has a wonderfully satisfying life and reminds me of the lovely Toast community 🙂
http://www.amazon.com/Miss-Rumphius-Barbara-Coone…
YES. One of my mom’s favorites out of our stacks of picture books. So lovely.
I adore that book and ALL books by barbara cooney. Island Boy and Hattie and the Wild Waves are also both awesome and maybe your three year old would enjoy!
Roxaboxen!
Ooh, thanks for the recommendation! I’ll have to check her other books out.
MY CHILDHOOD
Miss Rumphius is basically Mallory except that instead of spreading flowers she spreads misandrist poetry.
I had that book! I always think of it when I see/hear about lupines. As I’ve grown up, I’ve realized how feminist/progressive most of my books were as a kid–Miss Rumphius; The Paperbag Princess; Ronia, the Robber’s Daughter; Ella Enchanted, and a ton of humans-need-to-respect-nature books like The Great Kapok Tree… I think partly by personal preference, but I’m sure my parents had a major hand in it. And it worked! Except I make basically no money, so I guess it kind of backfired.
YES! Miss Rumphius was one of my favorites, and I reread one copy to shreds, so I had to get a second. In fact, in a recent purge-the-family-basement-of-my-childhood-cleaning-binge, I couldn’t even get rid of said second copy, so it’s sitting in a box, gathering dust, waiting for, I dunno, maybe the children I don’t ever really plan on having… maybe I should just donate it.
guys we’ve been having so much fun that we forgot to talk about HOW AMAZING Mallory’s hair looks in this photo. I also might have forgotten to use a coaster.
It is majestic and voluminous, as always. I wonder what her secret is?
(It’s misandry.)
dude*, I didn’t even think to mention: I DVRed “Flowers in the Attic” and then heard all the wailing and rending of garments, and I don’t know if I’m going to be up to watching it on my own in the absence of a whole Twitter timeline crying out in rage.
*I really need an ungendered substitute for “dude” that sounds exactly as Bill-and-Ted-ish. I don’t think “human” is going to work.
I’ve seen posts about the dude thing on tumblr–my favorite that they came up with was Comrade, though Citizen also works in a kind of dystopian robocop way.
lol! i like comrade.
actually i think all dude substitute sounds a little dystopian. because if we arent saying dude, its probably for reasons related to living in dystopia. either that or a utopia because misandry.
“Comrade” seems perfect for our future misandrist commune. It does have a pretty serious load ‘o’ baggage, though…
Juuuuuuust a wee bit, yeah.
Can’t we just make “dude” gender-unspecific? I’ve already used it when talking to ladies, with mixed reviews, but I see nothing wrong with the term previously meaning man and taking that away, making it for everyone. It seems to be going that way anyhow.
Not gonna lie, I’ve had …very intense… dreams about Mallory’s hair
I keep thinking that photo is a missing Pre-Raphaelite painting or something, but no, just Mallory having all the perfect hair.
I have today off! I spent the weekend watching movies, reading, and making brown butter rice krispie treats. (Which are good, but a little TOO buttery? Like, slippery in the hand. I might cut back a bit next time.)
Also, today I am playing in the #classicsclickbait hashtag on Twitter, which is both deeply nerdy and immensely satisfying.
I think I’ve made those before, and I remember having the same complaint. Not because they weren’t delicious, but they were kind of messy.
I have made those and had the same issue! Next time I will cut back a wee bit on the butter while maintaining the deliciousness.
Sidenote re: rice krispie treats: they are amazing with sprinkles in the mixture.
I have never, not once, made a Smitten Kitchen baked good that came out as well as it should have. There, I said it.
strongly agree.
I’ve only made two that came out less than excellently, so I tend to trust her stuff inherently, but that’s definitely not the case for everyone.
For sure, one of the great cooking skills/lessons is figuring out whose recipes work for you and whose don’t*. I’m a little envious of people who can use her recipes without tinkering to get good results; I don’t know why I can’t. There is no other high-profile food writer whose baking recipes, followed precisely, so consistently fail for me.
And, as robot_dinosaur points out below, baking recipes are a whole different critter than general cooking. I’ve never bothered to follow a non-baking Smitten Kitchen recipe in detail because invariably I’ll want to alter it to my preference. But when I make a baking recipe for the first time, I don’t alter it because those small shifts in chemical interaction add up. (Though it’s been really gratifying to learn jusssssst enough kitchen chemistry to adapt baking recipes successfully on the fly.)
*See also: the great Fanny Farmer vs. Joy of Cooking split in old-school cooking. Sure, some home cooks use both, but it’s quite common for people to use one and loathe the other.
Wow, I’m really surprised by that! I’ve always had great results with her recipes, so I wonder what we’re doing differently?
I’ve always had pretty good luck! But I think my favorite recipes of hers are cooking recipes. Like the tomato sausage risotto. I cut way down on the spinach in it, because she’s a huge fan of spinach while I am not. Still, it is super tasty.
Actually, I also alter this to use chicken Italian sausage instead of pork. Which I had completely forgotten.
Those sound amazingly delicious. I have ideas now. Evil, buttery ideas.
I went ice-skating yesterday and it was glorious. After years of PE-related shame, I am coming to terms with actually doing physical things in public! I am interested in taking up some kind of regular sport/physical activity, but I have no idea where to start. Ideas?
Guidelines: I am bad at running and have no desire to improve. I would rather do some kind of group activity than “just join a gym,” OR it should be something I can do outside while listening to podcasts. I already walk a lot. I am not made of money, but I can afford a small amount of fees/equipment. I am just not that into yoga.
I love biking? It’s a bit of an investment (though you can get a used bike for sure.) Just make sure you go somewhere where someone will help make sure you get one suited for your height. I am comfortable biking while listening to podcasts, as long as the traffic isn’t too scary and/or I’m on a trail.
Oh, thanks–I love biking, too! This is a good reminder to get my bike out of the shed, where it’s been spending the winter. I used to bike and read as a child, so listening to anything is small potatoes.
I started commuting by bike with this new job (often with a trip on the light rail for one stop, because man do I hate some of these hills :P). Well, it’s not a really new job, I’ve been here for seven months. Still though. I find it to be something that I can do without hating my body and actually enjoy, which running is not (so much out of breath feelings and nothing can ever stop my boobs from bouncing.) I’m hoping to do the Worst Day of the Year ride in Portland in a few weeks. Not the challenge loop (which is like 45 miles) but the urban route which will probably be too easy. Still: fun!
this might not exactly fit into what you’re looking for, BUT I really enjoy doing classes at the gym! you can try tons of different stuff and you meet people and if you feel like having a solitary gym day you can just ride the bike or do squats while you listen to podcasts.
alternately, my sister lives in a place where there is a sports for fun group that gets together a few times a month to play sport-y things together like dodgeball, etc. You could start one in your area?
Informal adult sports seconded! Off the top of my head, I know that my town has dodgeball, volleyball, and flag football leagues, and we are not a terribly large town. Ask around, especially at bars that have volleyball courts (hopefully this is not just a thing we have here).
ok I have DEFINITELY never heard of bars with volleyball courts. WHERE IS THAT? it sounds potentially dangerous.
OUTDOOR. I should probably have mentioned that part. Outdoor volleyball courts, either around back or on a roof deck. We have two here (central KY).
As my avatar suggests, I highly recommend social dance as an excellent work out. Lindy, Charleston, and other forms of swing are usually pretty energetic, and you get to meet some fantastic people!
I want to get back into social dance, but I find it anxiety-inducing to think of showing up to a class without a partner.
That’s a really common source of anxiety, and it’s also one that any good instructor will be ready to deal with. In almost every partnered dance class I’ve gone to, the instructors have leads and follows rotate around the room so that you dance with everyone for a little bit instead of with one person for the whole time. The only exceptions have been advanced classes on lifts or other potentially dangerous steps. Running class on a rotation makes sure that you learn to dance well with people of all body types and styles of dance, which is super important for learning to dance well socially (versus in competition). It also has the added bonus of making sure that people who come to class without a partner–i.e. most people, usually–get to dance just as much of those who bring a buddy. Even if you come with a partner, you probably won’t dance much with them anyway.
If your anxiety has more to do with wanting a friend with you for moral support as you go through the always-awkward process of learning a new movement language, maybe just finding someone to come to class with you even if they dance the same role could be useful?
That might work! But I don’t know who would come to social dance class with me… I should investigate this.
I did Scottish Country dancing for a while, and at all the classes I’ve been to it’s conventional that everyone changes partners after each dance, and it’s totally fine to come along without a partner. It does skew to an older demographic, but they’re very friendly. It also worked well for me as a socially anxious person, as it provided low pressure social interaction (since you’re mostly focussed on the dance, aside from a tea break in the middle).
Why doesn’t every class come with a tea break? I would be so much happier.
Aha! Unlike contra dance, it looks like Scottish Country Dance in my city is on a metro line, which is perfect. I shall try my best to go at least once in February to beginners’ class and try it out! As someone who doesn’t own dance shoes of any sort, will either sneakers or rubber-soled flats suffice? (There is no note on the website about what kinds of shoes are disallowed, just what’s recommended.)
Should any DC Toasties see this and want to come with, let me know! I’ll try to put something in the open thread this weekend or next, too.
Super! I hope you enjoy it! If you’ve done contra before, it’s similar in style, but generally slower and a bit more complex (from my limited contra experience).
Rubber soled flats will be fine to start in. The regular dancers will wear either ballet shoes or ghillies, which are similar but with lacing.
Husband and I just started taking beginner’s swing dance lessons at a casual studio. We are having the most fun. Highly recommend!
Since my new mission in life is to get as many women as possible to join judo clubs, I will say judo. Pros: excellent for aggression (you get to throw people!), you learn how to use your entire body, judo people are by and large delightful (waaay less of a dude-bro culture than, say, BJJ), there are throws and techniques for all body types. Cons: very full contact, falling is scary at first, takes a long time to get good at it, pretty much every club is male-dominated. Depending on the club the fitness level can be intimidating, but good clubs will work at your level and help you get better.
I really like that there’s always something new to learn- I get bored doing the same thing over and over again in the name of fitness. And I’ve wanted to know how to throw people since I was ten and read an article about how judo lets you use someone’s force against them, and now I know how to, and it is even more awesome than I thought it would be.
This sounds intriguing but also terrifying. It does look like there’s a club near me with a female instructor and Four! Whole! Women! (or people who I took to be women) in a group photo, but this might have to wait until I have dealt with my Showing Up At Classes With Strangers anxieties by trying something less full-contact. Thanks for the recommendation!
Roller derby! Many cities, small and large, have a league these days and it’s an amazing workout plus community. Definitely a bit of a financial commitment, but any decent league will have plenty of ladies happy to loan out gear to new recruits while they’re making up their minds about the sport. And derby is really inclusive of all body types and levels of fitness – there are positions for teeny little skaters and for big brawny skaters and everyone in between 🙂
Every story I hear about roller derby ends with terrible gruesome injuries. But I do have a lot of roller-skating life experience that would otherwise go to waste! (Not to think that I would be remotely competitive, just that I spent a looooot of time on skates and blades as a kid.) What are the odds of ending up in traction and/or losing teeth?
lol, it is a full contact sport so there’s certainly an element of potential for injury. Losing teeth: not as long as you wear a mouthguard. Traction: if you have a history of knee problems then derby is probably not ideal. Otherwise, as long as the league has skater safety minimums in place (and I’d avoid like the plague any league that doesn’t!) it should be as safe as riding in a car (so… not perfectly safe). Still, so fulfilling and fun and an amazing non boring way to build strength and endurance!
I’m pretty sure I’m being unceremoniously and unexpectedly dumped by the guy I’ve been dating, possibly by the time-honored tradition of him never responding to any of my texts, LOL! So I’m spending the rest of the day in bed, eating my feelings. I’ve already finished all the bowls-of-cereal-seasoned-wtih-my-tears that this guy deserves.
On the plus side, if he never deigns to see me again I’m definitely never returning the jacket he lent me. Small victories?
YOU KEEP THAT JACKET AND LOSE THAT MAN. He clearly doesn’t deserve you. I would send you chocolate if I could send you chocolate today.
Oh, honey. I have been there and done that. THREE TIMES. (Once by refusing to respond to any of my messages then sending me a facebook message. Once by no longer answering any texts or phone calls. Once, by an actual boyfriend who went out of town and then just…never ever responded to any more messages and defriended me on Facebook, then when I sent him a “WTF” message he was all “Ohhh I fucked up! You deserve better!)
However, he was right, in that you DO deserve better because who wants to be with someone like that. Fuck that shit. Also, you are allowed to throw the jacket in the garbage if you no longer want it. If you are going to behave like a child you forfeit your right to get jackets back! Those are the rules (that I have made up)! FUCK THAT GUY SERIOUSLY.
oh my godddddddddddddddd.
Total victory. Eat good cereal and keep the jacket if it looks good on you, donate it if it looks bad!
Also… just… be a grown-up, Calamity’s ex-dude!!!!
I’m pretty sure I just got rejected for a position I really wanted via their Twitter announcement about hiring a different candidate. I had so many plans for today and now all I want to do is sit on the couch and sulk.
Oh, noooo. How callous of them! As a fellow job-hunter, I am really pissed on your behalf right now.
It sounds like a close call. Too much passive aggressive.
It is semi-standard practice for the industry, I think, to be like “we are so excited for our new [position], PersonName!” but that doesn’t make it any less insulting.
Ugh, I’m sorry. That’s tough, and especially a tough way to find out. Can you do something really nice for yourself this evening?
I’m so sorry! This is a little terrible but maybe if you passive aggressively retweeted it they’d think better about doing that to someone again? Of course, only if you’e sure you didn’t get it.
Arrgh! I always seem to find out too late when there’s an open thread.
Anyway, I don’t if it’s been discussed before but is there The Toast writer’s club? I find I write much more frequently and with better quality when there’s someone to read and critique my work. Plus, critiquing other people’s work is great for me too.
If not, anyone interested?
I don’t know if this exists, but I would be interested!
Me too!
Sorry for not replying quicker! I’ve been sick and sleeping most of today.
I’ll bring it up again on the Friday open thread and we can make arrangements of some sort.
I would be! Especially as I’m finishing off and editing a piece that I can’t show to my normal crit gorup, as it is a surprise prompt-based piece for a person in my normal crit group.
Ooh, grand idea.
As an aside, I will give a recommendation for the website Scribophile. The interface is pretty neat, including great ways to critique a work, and it tries to foster a constructive community — you could even make group just for The Toast. Then you can use the website and the critiquing mechanism, but close off critiques to only people in the group if you want.
I am not an advertisement, I swear. But it’s a good site in my little experience.
This is really good to know about! Thank you!
I’d be into it as well! what a good idea.
I’m late but totally interested!
Another awesome weekend: super team-effort yard work resulting in a firepit built from materials found in the yard, dead things chopped down to provide enough wood/kindling to burn two nights in a row, a rehabbed dog yard, house repairs, team cooking efforts, lots of pool playing and firegazing and good times. Oh, and he did my laundry while I was using power tools.
I just suddenly found out via twitter that a distant friend of mine passed away. We hadn’t talked in a few years ago because her boyfriend was a creep and a terrible dungeon master (the tabletop gaming kind) and I stopped talking to him and felt awkward talking to her, but she was much nicer than he deserved. I’m really sad she’s dead and now I feel guilty for not talking to her more- I don’t even know what happened.
So that kind of just… happened.
I’m so sorry. That’s some hard emotional territory. Give yourself time to feel whatever you’re going to feel.
Very sorry to hear this. If you know her parents’ address (often listed in obits), you might even send them a card with some of your memories of her. It would mean a huge amount to them, I’m sure, and would probably cure guilty feelings, and be a nice reflective moment for you too. That kind of thing — just some memories, simple and short — means so much to bereaved people.
That’s great hair, Mallory.
I myself am putting in work this holiday as a viral incubator. And playing Skyrim, I guess. School starts up again tomorrow!
I may or may not have told my boss today, “I am sworn to carry your burdens…”
My partner has been sick for SIX MONTHS SOLID.
He is, understandably, absolutely miserable and frustrated and feeling like throwing in the towel, and I feel like an asshole for being a little bit tired of his every-other-day hour-long depressive talks about how he thinks he’s going to be sick for the rest of his life and he might die. I understand! I do! I would be even more of a sad sack than he is if I had been ill for six months and everything the doctors did seemed to make something ELSE happen! I am sorry and I wish I could help him and he gets to be frustrated!
But oh, for a single day that didn’t include a conversation about how he will never be anything but sick. I just . . . I’m tired, is all. And this is a safe place to admit it, because of course I will never say anything of the kind to him.
So, what’s he sick with? I mean, if you feel okay saying. It’s such a delicate situation, dealing with that.
I’ve been in the same boat with my husband. Last year he was in a major depression (no job) and had teeth/gum/jaw issues and it wore me down a bit.
That’s sort of the problem. It’s a bunch of stuff. He got normal-sick at a convention, some flulike thing, and then it wouldn’t go away, and he developed serious chest pain. Four doctor’s visits and two trips to the emergency room later (seriously), they finally diagnose him with pericarditis, which is basically when the linings around your heart get inflamed and rub together. It feels exactly like a heart attack, but it’s not as serious, just painful as fuck.
So he’s treated for that, which includes immunosuppressants. The immunosuppressants allowed him to get sick with something else. So he’s treated for that. Now the chest pain is back and he has a nasty wet cough that won’t go away. The treatment for the pericarditis goes on for the next two months, but he shouldn’t have the cough and his chest pain should be getting better. We don’t even know wtf.
Gosh, I’m so sorry. My method of dealing with the situation–eventually taking money from savings and telling him to go to a dentist and an ENT or I would fucking leave him–doesn’t sound like it would work here.
Not that is was a decent way of dealing with the problem, it’s just eventually I couldn’t deal with it anymore.
He’s fine now–I’ll send my extra strength your way. Stay strong, hon.
I did, completely, bully him into the doctor’s office, because he is the kind of stoic who would just be miserable forever. It took me a really long time to even figure out how serious his chest pain was, because he would sort of casually mention it among other symptoms, like, oh, I’m still coughing and I have some chest pain.
Later on in the ER I had to keep interrupting him to drive home to the doctor just how serious it was, because he’d keep downplaying things. She’d be all, “So have you seen your primary care physician?” and he’d say just, “Yes,” and I’d interrupt and say, “We’ve seen the primary care doctor FOUR TIMES, and they did the following tests, and they thought it was this and that, and . . .”
So yes. I am bullying him and bullying the medical care staff because this is ridiculous, how long it took to get diagnosed and how long it is now taking for him to get better. And he is putting up with my bullying in no small part because he knows the infection probably festered for this long in the first place because he refused to go to the doctor when he had the original illness.
I have NOT said I told you so. Not even once. But he knows, and I know, and so he submits to my bullying. Which, I am somewhat ashamed to say, does make me feel a little better.
I’m glad your guy is okay now! I had tons of painful dental surgery in my youth and I do not envy him that experience.
Thanks.
What is it about people who don’t deal with stuff? I hate running to the doctor, but geez!
Ditto what robot_dinosaur says: this sounds so impossibly frustrating, and I really admire your kindness and mindfulness in not venting at him. Let it out here as much as you like/need, and if you can find a safe, friendly face-to-face place for support and venting, DO IT.
When I was living with a chronically ill partner, I didn’t ask for that support and it just about crushed me; when I was injured and recovering, I’m sure my partner did some venting about me and my pain and my sad-sackery to keep himself healthy.
oh man, that sounds so tough! for him and for you, too!
Holy crap. I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s always difficult when you find yourself getting worn down by the emotions and pain of someone else, even when their emotions make total sense. Do you have some IRL people you can vent to who won’t judge you? Someone you can call for cookies and a hug? This situation sounds like it’s (understandably) overwhelming you. If you can find someone who can help take a little bit of the burden from you, or even just distract you from it for an hour or two, that might help. And I don’t think you sound like an asshole. This is a huge thing to have to deal with.
(I mean, keep venting to us as much as you need. But people who can be in the same room with you and administer food/cookies/drinks/hugs/whatever can be more helpful than internet people.)
Venting really does help. He’s honestly a lovely man, and even when he is a sad sack he is not hard to be with, but it’s nice to just be arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhh for a minute without making him feel guilty.
Sick partner fist bump! My situation is a little different but I totally feel for you–my boyfriend was briefly incapacitated from sickness a couple years ago, nothing life-threatening, but doctors never settled on a real diagnosis and/or foolproof prevention. Since then he’s been following a combination of rules [that he found on the internet] that are supposed to prevent it from happening again, but also are increasingly restrictive in how he’s living his life and not doing things he used to like to do and that makes me sad! He’s had a few very minor flare ups since then, which he interprets as “I probably got this headache from eating grapes. I’m never eating grapes again” whereas *I* think he’s maybe stressing himself out about his sickness to the point that it’s actually making him sick. Anywho. SAFE SPACE! [/end fist bump]
I have today off and have big plans for a trip to Marshall’s and then hopefully finishing Band of Brothers?? Or at least getting through 2 of my 4 remaining episodes. This is my first time watching it and I LOVE it.
Also this is my first weekend of 2014 (and probably my first weekend in 4-5 weeks or so) that I was in the same state for the entire weekend, so I am greatly enjoying sleeping in my own bed Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday nights. It’s been glorious.
I’m turning 30 in one week, and I’m throwing a 90’s themed birthday party this weekend. What super 90’s food, and/or decorations/games, etc. should I include?
Also, I am having trouble coming up with a super 90’s outfit for myself, a 6 month pregnant lady. The best I’ve come up with so far is just jeans, a white maternity tank top, and a plaid shirt, open. Suggestions?
Early nineties: that ubiquitous knit dress. Full skirt, scoop neck, tank straps. Everyone was wearing it one year, then most everyone the next couple of years. Anyone else remember that? Oops. Most of y’all probably aren’t old enough. OK, anyone seen photos of it?
Update: I found a photo on google, but don’t know how to put it here. Teachable moment! Anyone wanna donate their expertise to the middle-aged?
Anyhoo, I was wrong above: no tank straps. It was a babydoll, had short sleeves and was always a solid color, cheap knit.
There are a gazillion maternity dresses from the 90’s in thrift shops.
And happy birthday!
Allllll the scrunchies
Yes, scrunchies, and chunky Mary Janes. I had MJ and t-strap Docs.
Oh man, me too. Those MJ Docs were the shit.
Rewatching Clueless may also spark some ideas.
Hey, are you having trouble with the cedar pollen? When I was pregnant, I felt like I had to choose between the baby and my allergy meds.
I’m in south tx, for reference.
My allergies have been terrible. I’m taking zyrtec sans the D, which doesn’t help much, but some. I’m in the DFW area.
Dfw is terrible for cedar! I wish you well– the January I was pregnant, I lost my voice and had to teach via charades and indicating who should read next from the textbook.
Now that the babe is almost totally weaned, I’ve been going for the nuclear option for a couple of days.
A) Ruffly poet blouse (bonus if lacy) , long floral skirt, doc martens, velvet choker
B) Overalls with one strap undone, crop top, flannel shirt tied around waist, doc martens
Anyone have any advice on job-seeking anxiety? Specifically, how do you force yourself to just sit down and write a damn cover letter already? Or how do you look at job websites without immediately beginning twitch and feel heart palpitations? I know the short answer is to just get over it/myself…
This might not be excellent advice, but…
I’d put on workout clothing, and then every time I started feeling too anxious to work, I’d go sprint around the block. After four-five sprints, my tiredness told my anxiety to just shut up already so I could finish this stupid cover letter.
And once you’ve written like five, the others are much easier given that you have all the practice and you can cannibalize bits of other ones for particularly clever phrasing. It’s a task with a steep but short learning curve.
Yup, I do a similar thing with housecleaning. If I really don’t want to write a cover letter or tweak my resume or whatever, I’ll do 20 minutes (with a timer) of housecleaning, then make myself do 5 or 10 minutes of work, then either keep writing or back to cleaning. a) There is only so much housecleaning; b) the progress in at least one area makes me feel slightly less unsuccessful.
The timer is a great plan! I think I can convince myself to do anything for five minutes.
I workout so little that I don’t even own workout clothes, but the principle is sound!
And yes, I am very ready for that day. I have the one cover letter that got me the job I have now, but it’s a student position so it will only be marginally helpful in the hunt for full-time employment.
Thanks!
I write a few sentences, get up, walk away from the computer, pace, walk back to the computer, write a few more sentences, get up, walk away, etc. until I’ve finally written the damn thing.
Also helpful: compiling a list of achievements/ awesome things you have done/ can do for quick cover letter writing reference. When I was working on them I would also read through Ask A Manager’s cover letter advice archives- good advice and I find her writing style very soothing/ reassuring, which helps on the anxiety front.
Totally agree with LeastBittern that every cover letter after about the +/- fifth one can be largely cannibalized from the previous ones and it gets much easier.
That list is an excellent idea! I’ll have to go back through my calendar/email–my current job is about 1/3 special/random projects based, and it’s been easy to let things slip from my mind.
I would only write a cover letter after a drink. I am 100% serious. Always edit sober, but it was the only way I could turn off enough of my squirmy shame about talking about how great I am and just bang the damn thing out.
That was my first instinct, and I’m glad to hear it’s not insane; many, many thanks.
I’ve been lurking here since day 1, but I’ve withheld my comments because everyone here is so witty and clever and kind. I worried I was intruding on this perfect world that I might ruin somehow. I liked just watching and laughing and crying along on my own.
But today I want to reach out of my shyness induced lurking because it’s been a really hard couple of weeks. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 days before Christmas. I decided to stay home from University to be with her while she worried and prepared and then underwent her first surgery, which was on Friday. My boyfriend is in the Canadian military and is away on course, unreachable for 2 weeks. Perfect timing.
I am on the wrong dosage of my antidepressants but my doctor/oracle is in my University town, not my hometown. I am trying to keep my head above water while I look after my mom and do the things that need to be done around the house, while simultaneously keeping up with school by correspondence. I feel like I’m doing the basics, but I’m having such a hard time reserving the energy to also be cheerful and conversational and do those extra little things that I know would make her so happy.
I’m basically here to whine for a minute. I just wanted to write it all down and maybe if I sent enough of it out into the Toast universe, something would figure itself out.
So sorry to hear that! I hope your mom’s surgery went well, though. Lots of hugs to you.
Maybe you could call your doctor and let him know about the dosage issue? Sometimes when I’ve had problems with medication or been out of town, a phone call or email has taken care of everything.
Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear about your mom and your meds. I really hope you’re able to do what you need to do to take care of yourself until this front of the shitstorm passes.
Ah geez, that sounds like a really rough time that would sap anyone’s strength. Not much to add to the other two comments, beyond massive amounts of sympathy as you weather this nastiness. Many hugs! (NPR informs me that it is National Hug Day? So double hugs.)
Remember: You don’t have to be perfect, or to do all the things all the time. It is enough for you to be there and do the best you can. I hope things look up soon.
I’m so sorry to hear about all of this. Was in a somewhat similar situation a few years ago and the thing that got me through was self-care, even in tiny amounts. By that I mean, exercise, even if you are only able to do it in 5-10 minute walks around the block. Eat real meals, instead of snacking all day. Go on very short outings with friends/relatives, if you still have folks like that where you are living. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Most people don’t know how to help in situations like these, and will be grateful to simply be told what a help they would be if they could just stop by the store and bring a roll of paper towels. Good luck to you!
Oh, sweetie. That is so terrible. Please email me if you want to talk–my mom has also had breast cancer, my husband is in the Canadian military, and I struggled with depression and anxiety in university a long way away from my family. You can email bomb me at s d q s d q at gmail dot com (no spaces) and I will be happy to listen.
Huuuuuuge hugs. I hope you can get in touch with your doctor as rosalineee suggested – it sounds like that would help immensely. And I hope you have friends and other family who can help support you while you’re supporting your mom.
(Also, yo, I regularly feel like a bumbling fool here in the comments and they haven’t kicked me out yet. Everyone is welcome. <333)
SUCH GOOD HAIR
My LJL agrees
Not only was I at work today, it took me three times as long to get there since I took the bus, leaving the car for Mr. Unshored to go to the doctor’s office and get a bizarre thing on his arm checked out…turns out the doctor’s office was closed for the holiday, naturally.
Then a senior coworker very abruptly and surprisingly left the company. So, not the GREATEST day…
Luckily I was able to come home, make some plans for a February getaway, and relax with another episode of You Are Beautiful (K-drama about teenage nun joining boy band).
At new year’s I posted about wanting to learn to cook cauliflower, and you lovely toasties pointed me towards some great recipes.
I combined these two recipes:
http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2011/10/cumin-seed…
and: http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2008/04/cauliflowe…
and came up with this amazing salad:
roast 1 head of cauliflower tossed in olive oil, sea salt, and cumin.
add yogurt, chick peas, chives, green onions, pepper.
bask in your own genius and the salad’s deliciousness.
Um, hi? New (kinda?) here. feeling awkward.
was not on earlier because I took the kids (neither of whom had school) down to the MLK National Historic Center. I am not sure either of them got much out of it; I think all the two-year-old got was “WHOA LOTS OF PEOPLE SCARY.” also their main takeaway from the Reflecting Pool was that they wanted to throw in coins and make wishes. But the 4-year-old did talk about MLK in her pre-K class, so we talked a little bit about how black people used to not be allowed to swim in the same pools and eat at the same restaurants as white people, and how a lot of people worked hard to say, “The law should not treat me like I am not a full person” (I’m not sure I was that eloquent to her; also, we were desperately in search of snack during this conversation).
Then the 4-year-old wanted to bake Dr. King a birthday cake, but the lack of cake mix and time foiled her. I was not sorry; I had no idea what we were going to do with that cake once we baked it.
My school used to have an evening celebration of Dr. King’s birthday that included the usual slide shows and speech re-enactments, but also sing-alongs (of “We Shall Overcome” and similar, not random songs) and a giant birthday cake. I think it’s a nice idea and helped me remember that we weren’t just mourning Dr. King’s death, but celebrating his birth and feeling like we could be his friends and allies.
So I guess what I’m saying is… let them eat cake?
I agree with you in theory, and next year we can plan ahead and make a cake, but man, it was 6:30 and I had to get her in bed by 8 for our collective sanity and my cookbook’s “easy” yellow-cake recipe *starts* with “have the eggs sitting at room temperature for 30 minutes.”
Oh, totally! It’s the cake-y thought that counts. (And when in doubt, there is always vaguely-rubbery microwave mug cake.)
GUYS I saw Frozen, and it was the best choice I’ve ever made.
(“Do you want to build a snowman?” aka “Do you want to weep forever?”).
I mean, when was the last time a Disney movie had legit choral music in it? (Or any movie actually? Also- any fellow choir geeks here in the Toasty realm?)
HANNIBAL SEASON TWO TRAILER
I have had Richard Armitage in my mind as Mr Thornton all through reading and I feel like it only enhances the whole experience, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN*.
*The in my pants experience, mostly.
I’m late to the game and have also been out of the game but I needed to share this here (on my personal tumblr for lack of better way to convey this information)
: http://gulfoffinland.tumblr.com/post/74078828549
Hint: Involves the lead singer of the Decemberists and a cocktail called “The Gincest”
So I don’t know if you’re already familiar with this, but the absolute pinnacle of “stabbed through my own chest!” attacks is performed in Resurrection, Star Wars Tales 9, where Vader fights Maul. JUST SAYING.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Resurrection
So glad you liked it! Hope you find The Big Four soon…you'll never look at breadcrumbs the same way again…