Toastinies. Today we ponder a very small cup of kefir paired with the hope of a better tomorrow. Who’s so glad 2014 doesn’t start til Saturday?!
Who’s SO ENVIOUS of everyone who’ll be at the Toronto meet-up? (Details below.)
Who is going to begin a bigger and better life as soon as the snow clears? Who has seen The Monuments Men and loved it?
I want more Sherlock.
Last reminder for Toronto Toasties: tonight’s meetup is 7:30pm at Sneaky Dee’s (431 College St., at Bathurst.) See you there! –Nicole
HULLO FRIENDS!
I need book recommendations. This month, I finished Cloud Atlas and Middlesex and loved both so so much (Cloud Atlas brb crying).
I commute about 45 min either way each day, and on the train I like really lengthy, twisty, chewy fiction books that it will take me more than a week to get through (I plowed through Dave Eggers’s newest last week and it wasn’t satisfying at alllll).
soooooo…literary Toasties, GO!
I just read Who Was Changed and Who Was Dead by Barbara Comyns (purchased from Dortothy: http://www.dorothyproject.com/books/index.html). Not super long but instead super strange, both grim and hilarious. I really enjoyed it.
And I was ZOMG CRAZY for Elizabeth Gilbert’s new one, The Signature of All Things.
I have The Luminaries next on my list after I finish The Goldfinch. They’re both really long, and the Goldfinch has lots of good twisty bits. The Luminaries is really intricately structured, so I’m assuming it’s also twisty? Looking forward to it.
The Big Russian Ones are great meaty books, too. The Pevear/Volokhonsky translations of The Brothers Karamazov, Crime & Punishment & Anna Karenina are all fantastic.
A second and VERY STRONG nomination for The Goldfinch. It is exactly what you described as what you are looking for (lengthy, twisty, chewy fiction). DO IT and report back please, I need to discuss forever.
YES I will start it this weekend!!
Question: Have you read any other Donna Tartt books? The Secret History is one of my favorite books, but I effing HATED The Little Friend so I am wary of her. Hopefully this one will strike gold again.
I haven’t (which to some people makes me a hop-on – haters to the left) but I plan to read The Secret History (eventually). You’re not alone though – many people have said TLF was their least favorite, from what I’ve read about her. I promise you will enjoy this one.
I was going to recommend The Goldfinch as well! It has me in full-on dork mode, constantly reading in any spare moment I get.
I just finished The Goldfinch and put The Luminaries on hold at my library (which means that I will get it in…approximately one million years)! Virtual literary high five!
Do you want to talk about Boris with me??
YEAH I do (does this constitute cheating on the DC Toastie book club?)! Boris stressed me out, man (THAT DOG IS VERY OLD YOU CAN’T FEED HIM THAT MUCH BACON). It’s funny that Tartt and Palaniuk are buds, because I kept making Brad Pitt/Fight Club analogies in my head.
I’m still working on What I Think The Book Was About, but Boris is set up as an alternative model of dealing with the past/your past trauma, which is just to jettison it, and in a lot of ways he seems to be happier than Theo. Of course, he also ends up a heroin addict, so…I guess that’s not really an endorsement.
Tell me what you think about Boris!
Can’t wait to talk Boris with y’all at the DC Toastie book club!! (…must finish the book before then…)
I live in Baltimore but have a friend who will be attending that (at my urging) and I’m tempted to crash y’alls book club, because I just want to talk about this book forever.
He stressed me out but in the best ways. Everything in Vegas I just loved. Nothing was happening, nothing but I couldn’t get tired of it. And I was just waiting for something sexual to come up (is that wrong??? sorry, not in a voyeuristic way) because there’s no way teenage boys could be drinking together and sleeping together and not at least a little doing some stuff. And I found it so endearing?? Their whole relationship.
I definitely think he is happier than Theo! Boris’s life philosophies were kind of gold, minus the smuggling and drugs and women of dubious nature. Theo is so introspective, and it keeps him from being happy. …. but he also went through so much shit!
ETA: Popchyk mauling (in a good way) Boris at the NY house forever.
1. Vegas was absolutely my favorite section. I was a little disappointed when we went back to New York: More Boris the cheerful nihilist! More semi-inadvertent sexual encounters (loved Boris’s “These things happen! We were young! Is that what you’re upset about? Ridiculous!”)
2. I’m in Baltimore! You should definitely crash book club.
3. POPCHYK FOREVER
Popchyck was my favorite character.
Speaking of Popchyk, besides her obvious abuse of same, I kinda liked Xandra? She seemed very real.
Yeah, there was some nice flashes of realism in the treatment of Xandra and Theo’s dad that I should were meant to how him maturing…but then he went back to New York, which is only populated by types, apparently.
Yes, even just Boris’s language style! Loved everything about it, even if he could be a terrible influence. But he brought Theo out of his shell!
On the off chance that you are not somebody I already know, I’m going to go ahead and plug my Baltimore book club – you can find info here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/276032895839654/
Clearly we have already met. Hello!
OHHH The Goldfinch!! Thank you for reminding me! That’s def next.
I sadly can’t get on board with the Russians…although I last tried a while ago, so maybe it’s time for a second chance?
If you want to ease in with the Russians, get some of Chekhov’s short story collections. They’re wonderful, and nowhere near as boggling as launching straight into Tolstoy or Dostoyevsky.
I just finished the Luminaries and it was really good! I also read it on my train commute and it was satisfying: long, complicated, and absorbing.
I’m going to take this opportunity to plug “Hild” (AGAIN)(DERANGEDLY), and “The Doomsday Book,” which is historical science fiction with a LADY PROTAGONIST (whaaa).
I co-sign ‘The Doomsday Book’!
EXCUSE ME THAT’S AWESOME GOING ON MY LIST.
DOOMSDAY BOOK YES READ IT. That was my entry point into Connie Willis, and I immediately followed it up with her other stuff set in the same universe.
DOOMSDAY BOOK FOREVER
YES DOOMSDAY BOOK! And if medieval Europe isn’t your thing, Blackout and All Clear. I DEVOURED both of those and they were amazing. In fact, I am going to read them again soon just because they were so good!
I read Blackout/All Clear nonstop over the course of like three days and it ended up with me ugly-crying tears of pure catharsis on my couch at two in the morning. I HAVE NO REGRETS.
I hit a point with Blackout/All Clear where I just couldn’t deal with the farce-level missed connections powering the plot. Like, there was plenty of tension inherent in the setting and events, Willis didn’t need to add in bumbling around that would have been heavy-handed in Three’s Company.
Doomsday Book, though, is perfect and without peer and is due for a re-read by me.
And of course “To Say Nothing of the Dog” after which one should read Jerome K. Jerome’s Three Men in a Boat.
But if you read “To Say Nothing of the Dog” first, “the Doomsday Book” is a fucking cosh behind the ear. My feelings! My feelings!
So, this book isn’t like either of the others, but I am trying to wrap up Cheng’en Wu’s Journey to the West and it is definitely lengthy. It’s a standby of Chinese literature so.. maybe that would be of interest to you? Also, the version I have (translated by Anthony Wu) has copious footnotes so that could count as chewy…
[Sorry, I’m reaching here but this month I started off strong with reading and then ended up spending three weeks on Journey to the West and Jamaica Kincaid’s Mr. Potter, both of which took me 3 times longer than I expected..]
I love Journey to the West!
I know I’m super late to the party, but did you ever read Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl? I read it this summer and LOVED it. It is super long, super twisty, incredibly unusual yet readable language. Not all of the characters are the most believably real, but that almost makes it better – they exist in this strange plane adjacent to real life. I recently recommended it to two friends and they both adored it as well. She also has a new book out, called Night Film, that I read the Kindle sample of and loved. It’s my next big read after I finish the book I’m on now.
I have never even heard of that – going on the list! That sounds awesome.
Yes! I read Special Topics in Calamity Physics the last time I was on jury duty. 4 PM rolled around and they announced there wouldn’t be any more jury selections, so we could all go home. I was like, what? We’re done? I just got here! The book was that good.
I read Special Topics… and the end kind of drove me nuts. There were more than a couple of characters that I wanted to biff upside the head. But that’s how I figured it was good.
I’ve read all of Sarah Waters’ books over the course of the past year, mostly during my own 45 minute subway commute. I loved all of them except for The Little Stranger, which was still pretty good. I’d start with either Fingersmith or The Night Watch (which I finished last night and just can’t stop thinking about and wanting to read over again).
The Night Watch is one of my favorite books everrrrrrrr. God, it’s so good.
I was just coming down this thread to recommend “Fingersmith”!
I am almost finished reading it for the second time, and loved it even more this time than the first (and I enjoyed it a lot then!) It is long (but moves quickly) and VERY twisty (you want to be as spoiler-free as possible going into it) and very entertaining.
Also, I’ve read “The Little Stranger” (which is pretty good, but not the best place to start reading Sarah Waters), “Tipping the Velvet”, and “The Night Watch”, and they are all excellent too!
HOUSE OF LEAVES
I ALWAYS RECOMMEND HOUSE OF LEAVES
RIGHT. THAT ONE has been on my list for a while. Bumping up top!
it’s soooo good. but be prepared to possibly be scared for a few weeks.
Have you ever read Foucault’s Pendulum by Umberto Eco? It’s the lengthiest and twistiest book I’ve ever read. almost too much so? But I still loved it.
It took me three tries to get past the first 30 pages, but once I did, BOOM. One of my absolute all time favourites.
I also recommend Mitchell’s other stuff – ghostwritten and number9dream are in the same vein as Cloud Atlas, and Black Swan Green and The 1000 Autumns of Jacob de Zoet are ‘normal’ novels but beautiful, both of them.
Oh great. I love the books with a big block to the amazingness at the beginning – that’s how I felt about Cloud Atlas. All of these going on the list!
I kept getting sidetracked because he would have some aside about murderous 13th-century courtesans or something and I would have to look it up on wikipedia real quick and would end up in some three-hour internet hole and forget which page I was on.
God, I have been trying to read that book since I was like 15. Still haven’t gotten past the first third. But it’s one of my dad’s favorites.
Any comment like this and I assume you’ve already read House of Leaves, but need to mention it anyways.
NO I HAVE BEEN REMISS. Shame. It’s been on my “To-Read” for a while, though.
I just read Three Parts Dead by Max Gladstone and it was really good.
Loved that book!
Relevant to my interests! I am still working on Middlemarch, taking it very slowly because the writing is poignant and gorgeous. I kind of love Fred’s character (no spoilers! Kindle says I’m only 35% through!) because he IS White Male Privilege and I just want to pat his little head and put him in a quiet room like I wish we could do w The Patriarchy as a whole.
BUT previously! I finished War & Peace (cliche? Its also long and twisty I and thought wonderful! Although quite preachy at the end), and for modern prose I thoroughly enjoyed Ahab’s Wife, which is complex and layered and beautifully written. It also has this epic crazed rant about conquering your enemies towards the end that the bf and I theatrically quote maybe enough to be movie villains.
War and Peace! So great. Very didactic, though.
If we’re talking epic long Russian novels, Brother Karamazov 4EVAH.
War & Peace IS so great! It feels so pretentious to try to strike up a convo about though. Although it really upsets me that there was no closure on the story lines of Boris or Dolokhov (the evil & manic one who might have calmed down had he married Sophie but later applied this skill set to a pretty successful military career)!
I haven’t read Brother Karamazov but its on the shelf! I’ll add it to the list.
So true. I read it the summer after college, and it took me a good month, and I was so proud of myself! But I could only talk about it to one person (who had also already read it). It’s the quintessential pretentious book. But it’s so great!
brb crying about Prince Andrei forever
SO many good recommendations already but I want to throw one in for Bleeding Edge by Thomas Pynchon. SO GOOD, and fairly approachable for Pynchon.
The Lowland!
also, obviously middlemarch if you havent already.
Wolf Hall (and possibly its sequels), by Hilary Mantel. It got me though the first week of my own commute from hell (4 hours/day. Just kill me now.)
I love both of them, though I tried a Place of Greater Safety and couldn’t make head nor tails of it. I’m going to see Wolf Hall and Bring up the Bodies at the RSC soon (and staying in a 15th century building) and I am SO EXCITED!!!
Try ‘An Experiment in Love’, maybe: it’s a creepy Bildungsroman/frenemies story.
If epics set in harsh, remote towns 18th century Newfoundland is your thing (and how could it not be?) Galore by Michael Crummey is really good.
Ooo, how about Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann? It’s one of those books that squeezes your heart and makes you hold your breath. I’ll also throw in votes for the Goldfinch and The Luminaries!
So many other good recommendations here – thanks to all who are inspiring a library visit this weekend!
Ah, one more – The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. It’s a good long one.
All of Hilary Mantel!
I’m not really a Sci-Fi / Fantasy Person as a general principle, but once I finally got into the meat of Anathem (like 300+ pages in. . .) I really enjoyed it a lot. It’s lengthy and chewy, for sure!
Yeah, I was going to suggest Neal Stephenson – if nothing else, they are ENORMOUS and TWISTY.
wow, already more than 65 replies! Still, just wanted to weigh in with some classics that are twisty, chewy, lengthy, and REALLY GOOD.
–Anna Karenina (amazing, very readable)
–War and Peace (so good)
–David Copperfield (also has a nice sense of humor, wonderful)
–Pickwick Papers and also Bleak House
–Gravity’s Rainbow (Pynchon)
–Vanity Fair by Thackeray (really sharp & you learn so much about people/social behavior)
–The Magic Mountain (like teleporting to another world, great, Thomas Mann)
–Buddenbrooks (Mann again)
I kind of want to do this :http://flavorwire.com/435296/50-books-by-women-authors-to-read-for-readwomen2014/
The colony of unrequited dreams by Wayne Johnston. Also the son of a certain woman. So good, so good.
“Possession,” A.S. Byatt. I’ve heard good things about The Children’s Book by the same author.
“Americanah,” Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. SOOOO GOOOOOOOD.
“The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay,” Michael Chabon. (Not as twisty, but SO SO SO GOOD.)
Someone else mentioned Anathem; I haven’t read that, but “Cryptonomicon” and “Reamde” are also by Neal Stephenson, hella long, and chock full of twists. (“Snow Crash” and “The Diamond Age” are shorter, but also really really good, and my dad loves The Baroque Cycle but I haven’t read it yet.)
Great picks, and Americanah is next on my list!
I read The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay and Jonathan Lethem’s Fortress of Solitude back-to-back one summer, and thinking about who I was back then is giving me a gut punch. A good, achy, nostalgic gut punch, if such a thing exists.
AAAAH I just finished Americanah! I loved it!! Also, I second The Children’s Book–it’s my favorite A.S. Byatt. The only problems I have with it are that it ends eventually, and I have like four favorite characters, which is exhausting.
always Infinite Jest.
Other books I’ve enjoyed lately –
Nevada by Imogen Binnie
Pussy King of Pirates by Kathy Acker
Taipei by Tao Lin
If you’re looking for more light fare – anything by Henning Mankell or Jo Nesbø
I wanna pick up Michelle Tea’s new YA novel too.
The Instructions by Adam Levin is long and twisty and has some beautiful passages. When I first read it I really, really loved it. Although a second read was much less compelling, so your mileage may vary.
SO.
I got half my hair shaved last saturday. I promised pictures.
Can’t decide if I prefer all gone, like this
or a little longer (about 4 days growth) ike this
Also, I am now on citalopram. I’ve been a bit more anxious than normal this forst week, which is apparently common. Gonna give it a few weeks to see how I get along with it.
AHHH it looks so cool! I wish I had enough hair that shaving off half of it would good. Do you plan to maintain it yourself?
My husband’s been on citalopram for about a month– he was a little more anxious at first, too (it’s his first time on an SSRI, or really any kind of everyday meds), but is doing well on it now. Hope it works for you!
I do! Jos bought me some mens mini clippers for maintenance. Not going to the hairdressers every two weeks.
My mood has lifted on the citalopram, so I hope it works for me too. I’m on a low dose (10mg) so I shouldn’t have a drastic response. I was on mirtazipine before, which I hated.
I like the closer shave, but it might also be the redder lipstick. Both. Yep, both. Very cute.
See, I like it visually but don’t like the way my prickles stab into my eartip when I sleep. But maybe I’ll adjsut to that?
OH. Stabby shave length would def be an issue for me, but you may be able to get used to it with a little time.
I had a lot of trouble concentrating on anything when my hair was fuzzy length, because I just wanted to pet my head. But perhaps you have better self control than I!
What lipstick is that! Such a great color.
Oh, I think that one is a Barry M lipstick. I like Barry M, lots of colours and cheap. I think it’s this one in ‘Little Vixen’ http://www.barrym.com/products/lips/paint/ultra-m…
it may take a few weeks re: citalopram! I would say give it at least 3 weeks… and citalopram’s little sister, escitalopram, is a bit mellower if you’re experiencing anxiety on citalopram. best of luck!
(and your hair is totally bitchin!!!!)
I’m in the UK so I’m not sure if the drugs have the same names here but I’ll mention that to my dr if I struggle. Thanks.
(And thanks again!)
you look amazing in both! i also want to second what noodge said about escitalopram – i’ve been on it for many years, and it has actually reduced my anxiety levels greatly.
I think I like the slightly-fuzzier look, but both are great. Also great: your glasses.
thanks!
damn girl ya look good.
i think both look good! which means you can just shave it when you want and know that it still looks good a few days out. i personally love the feeling of a close, fresh shave straight from the barber, though. i have a pixie and get the sides/back buzzed pretty short and it feels so gooood.
I just love TOUCHING it. At all lengths. fuzzyfuzzyfuzzy and it makes a pleasing noise when I rub it.
yes! when my buzz is fresh, i can barely keep my hands off my noggin, haha.
Sometimes I have to physically stop myself from petting my own head in public (not a euphemism) because I guess people think that’s weird?
Really into it! Both ways!
it looks AMAAAAAZING
BB you look SO GOOD!!!!!!
I love it!
love it!!!
SUPER CUTE.
I’ve been on citalopram for years (except for a poorly chosen attempt at going off it this summer) and it’s been pretty good to me. I did get wicked dry mouth and some mild hair loss when I started, but the dry mouth faded after a few weeks and I started taking zinc for the hair loss and it helped.
You look SO BADASS! I like both but I think I prefer a lil grown out.
Citalopram worked really well for me for awhile, I hope it does for you! My only side effects were persistent yawn attacks, which I didn’t understand until my most recent psychiatrist said the yawn response is tied to the anxiety response. Apparently you can really see it in dogs, who will start yawning as soon as they’re put in the car to go to the vet.
The annoying thing in the US – which may not be true in the UK – is that citalopram is not prescribed above 40 mg so I eventually had to switch.
Toasties in North Carolina! Come to our Triangle-area meetup next week. It will be wonderful.
Feb 6, at the Fed in Durham, 7 PM.
If you are up for it, fill out this lil form, and I will send an email reminder next week! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1htsPSLOcDkTrmBdP…
omg HOW WONDERFUL. I am so excited. I’ll be there, eating fries, looking awkward.
Tumblr links! I deleted a bunch of my Tumblr Follows for some insane reason, and now I want to find them again. Please post your favorite Tumblrs for the joy of us all. (NSFW more than welcome, just mark as such for the working folk).
Mine is the same as my username here now! paperbgprincess.tumblr.com
I’m bisexualpiratequeen. I post cats, feminism, bi activism and corsets.
I particularly like…
leasthelpful (terrible reviews of products)
readingwithavengeance (sarky book reviews)
Don’t mind me while I <3 all your posts…
go right ahead!
oh haiiiiiiiiiii
mollpants.tumblr.com
I am about to follow you right this second! I’m antiquelands. I also live in Boston! Well…Somerville. Close enough!
Followed! I ALSO MISS THE WOODS
I see no link for an easy follow for you, but this link works: http://www.tumblr.com/follow/mollpants
I’m booktasticvoyage.tumblr.com. I’m trying to focus my tumblr dashboard on books, global studies, and inclusion in books, so I’ve been really fond of:
akashicbooks
wocinsolidarity
globalvoices
citylit-books
bookriot
millionsmillions
atlasobscura
allwestindianeverything
I’m also starting to do a fandom focused tumblr but that hasn’t been really fleshed out yet, so I don’t have any recommendations on fandoms yet. It would probably be a weird mix of anime (Attack on Titan, Samurai Champloo, Cowboy Bebop, Utena) and fantasy stuff (Game of Thrones/ASOIAF, uh.. other shit.)
There’s so many good ones out there! I might come back and fill this space as they come to me. Recently a friend showed me craigslistmirrors, which is good if you like a dose of everyday creepiness in your life. (And you read the Toast so the answer is probably “yes”)
ETA:
There is this whole vibrant tumblr community around diversity/inclusion in children’s and young adult books that are out there. I’ve started following them even though I generally don’t read YA but it’s been very eyeopening. Some that I’ve found are:
tubooks
stacylwhitman (who founded TU books)
richincolor
Can’t stop editing/ETA #2:
Finally got a handle on this whole “secondary tumblr” thing, my fandom tumblr is ha-abitterpecan. Yesh, I named it from fake english subs of the first Attack on Titan intro. Am I obsessed a little bit? NO.
I’m at http://rebelliousjez.tumblr.com
fandom-y, feminist-y, mostly reblogs, with some stuff about me and my life.
My tumblr is thatsaturdayfeeling. I post mostly pop music/music history/art stuff, with an occasional foray into random memories, space, and weird stuff like 24-carat gold vibrators.
I love medievalpoc (art historiography with an emphasis on race) 50watts (weird illustrations from books) and laukitsch (all kinds of weird images). I like weird things!
My favourite tumblr is http://deshommesetdeschatons.tumblr.com/ and in some ways I feel like it’s the very essence or soul of the site- hot guys and cats posed in similar positions.
Ha yes! I love the hot men/hot cats tumblr.
My current favorite is http://thatbadadvice.tumblr.com/, which is just some hilarious person writing fake responses to terrible letters people write to advice columnists.
Thanks for that link! It’s amazing and totally what I need on a Friday afternoon.
Already on that one:)
My personal one is antiquelands and my favorite ones of the moment are:
critiquemydickpic, which is NSFW but hilarious and lovely and inclusive of all genders/bodies/etc.
whereiseefashion, which is gorgeous and inspirational
gofuckyourselftomhiddleston, which is the best Tom Hiddleston-ness
adventureswithrex is the tumblr that my boyfriend made about the life of my favorite stuffed animal so…
critiquemydickpic is SO GOOD.
I am bestgoddamndancer (name that reference!) on tumblr. Follow for the randomness of: economic justice/labor stuff, political memes, movies featuring ballet, gay stuff, Russia & some Feelings.
And who the hell are you?
Nobody.
As a boyfriend, you kinda suck.
http://clevermanka.tumblr.com/
Random fandom stuff, some politics, Tom Hiddleston appreciation, BBC Sherlock, and a themed collection on Tuesdays that ranges from Sexy People Smoking to Robots to The Color Red.
I’m especially looking for some of the NSFW ones that I discovered via a ‘Pin OT, but all weirdness, history, politics, gender, sociological, cute, fun, snarky sites also welcome;)
ohhhhhhhh ;D
Found the specific one I was looking for. Def NSFW, but fun: http://madencanada.tumblr.com/
Maybe you already know this but soundandnoise is my tumblr/instagram/twitter handle, I don’t take many risks with stuff I post. “What’s at stake?” Not enough.
sexisnottheenemy is fantastic. Doesn’t post often, but GOOD STUFF.
The absolute best.
I’m at acciomjollnir.tumblr.com! Mostly just reblogs of pretty things and feminist things, lots of LotR and Avengers. 🙂
AND CHRIS HEMSWORTH
ALL THE CHRIS HEMSWORTH! <3
I am aggressively fannish over at corialis.tumblr.com (and will be following everyone else in this thread as soon as I get home!), currently mostly about Sherlock but also impending Song of Ice and Fire and previous LotR plus pudgy cats and shiny things.
My favorite other people’s blogs are http://wtfevolution.tumblr.com/ and http://fat-birds.com/ at the moment.
I’m hepatosaurus! a general mish-mash, but a few constants are art (illustration! comics! sculpture! etc!), fandom stuff (now playing: my inexorable descent back into anime fan-hood), science/nature, poetry, and soccer (liverpool and real madrid). I’m 90% sure there will be an uptick in Olympics-related posts come next weekend.
And uh, shingeki no MS paint for my really dumb Attack on Titan edits. if you’re into that. (why would you not be into that. isn’teveryoneintothat.)
also:
mensweardog for a nattily-dressed shiba inu
fluxmachine for creepy-cool gifs
scientificillustration for… scientific illustration
april-is for poetry, once national poetry month rolls around
natgeofound for photos from National Geographic’s archives
oops, i fucked up the link. http://shingeki-no-mspaint.tumblr.com. there.
Shingeki no MSPaint? AMAZING
it is my absolute PRIDE AND JOY. started out as a way to distract myself from spoilers, but then I caved and read the manga so it’s mainly me flagrantly abusing the clone tool and making super nerdy birding jokes at anime fans. 🙂
You and your co-mod should be proud, it is absolutely fantastic. BTW, if you could point me to more AoT/SnK humor blogs, it would be much appreciated, thank you. 😀
like textsfromtitanfood.. 😀
YAY I am glad 🙂 co-mod is mostly moral support/cheering squad, lol.
and I’ll dig through my follows when I get home and see what I can find!
ohhitumblr.tumblr.com
Puppies, feminism, and Pokemon. Heavy on the puppies as of late.
I’m at cmdvll.tumblr.com! It’s mostly oddities, scientific illustrations, animals, and feminism.
I’m thelaureno on tumblr 🙂
Recs!
sovietpostcards is cool
leadingtone is a good classical music one
austinkleon is a rad artist and posts thoughtful things about art-making
thugkitchen is fucking awesome
kinokinos posts cool art and architecture stuff
livesandliesofwizards posts super rad HP short fic
I can’t recall if anyone’s recommended it here before, but I’m a big fan of the wtfevolution Tumblr. Hilarious commentary on the extreme weirdness of the animal kingdom.
elsajeni.tumblr.com for my main blog — no real unifying theme, generally SFW because my mom reads it, lots of Tolkien fandom content.
meressel.tumblr.com for my fic blog — mainly Tolkien fandom, not always SFW (and the NSFW content is usually text, not images).
hawthorn-tree.tumblr.com
A few tumblrs I like:
thatbadadvice (snarky replies to bad advice column letters)
itscolossal (the tumblr version of thisiscolossal.com, random art)
beatonna (Kate Beaton of the Hark! A Vagrant webcomic)
fuckingrecipes (if you like the belligerent food blog thing)
I tumbl sparingly at http://onelittlefish.tumblr.com. Also temporalmechanics101 for fandom (DS9) stuff.
I am bobthebeau! already very happily following some other toasties and would love to follow some more, although I don’t post very often.
It’s going to be a project weekend! Staining the TV hutch! Making picture frames! Playing with my new router!
WOODWORKING!
High five to fellow woodworker. My workshop is in our tiny garage and it’s either been too cold or too snowy to leave the car outside while I do some work. I hope to change that this weekend.
Mine is in the 2nd bedroom of our 2br apartment. Which means I have to be careful of how loud I’m being and how much sawdust I’m getting all over the carpet. It’s not really conducive to good workworking, but I try to do what I can!
I can totally identify. We used to live in this big open loft downtown with no doors on the rooms and the walls didn’t go up to the ceiling. I ended up building an 8′, plastic-covered cube with a fan and filters to keep the dust down so the garage, however tiny, was a huge upgrade.
My dad got me a drill for my birthday that has interchangeable attachments for a sander & a router & I’m excited to start teaching myself to do basic projects (and regretting a little bit that I didn’t learn more from him when I didn’t live 1,000 miles away).
Also, I’m going to go to Goodwill & get a bunch more picture frames & then spraypaint them bright colors and finally frame all the art we have. Our walls are going to be basically rainbow tie dye and I’m way excited.
Flexible Toasties: I was very stretchy when I was dancing full-time, but over the past decade this has waned. I have a goal of regaining my splits by my birthday (april 18) and am currently resting about 3-4 inches above the ground. Any advice besides doing my splits daily?
Omg do you have advice on doing splits? I’ve never been able to and I’ve been trying so much! But otherwise, backbends! I have a much flexier back now and it’s great.
Haha, I used to just… DO THEM. I remember winning an audition with a sllooooowwww slide into my splits from a standing position, not even using my hands. I was like, 12 at the time.
NOW, I brace myself with my hands and lower myself slowly so I don’t tear anything. If you have a pole, you can use that to brace yourself and lower yourself more slowly. It’s better to do it when you’re already warmed up, but not too warm because then you may overstretch without knowing it. I’m talking front to back splits, not sideways splits. I could never do those, I just don’t bend that way :-/
I am also interested in this question! And had kind of not thought of re-gaining this ability. Well, 2014 starts tomorrow, so… #NewGoal
Lizard pose and pigeon pose!
ugh, I suck so bad at lizard pose, but I guess that means it’s the best place to start! Ok, I’ll add this to my daily regimen – thanks!
I am also SO TERRIBLE at lizard pose, and I can’t figure out exactly why. My hips are pretty open in other respects (I can do double pigeon and frog like it ain’t no thang). In Lizard, though, it’s like… the front of my hips are tight?? How do I fix that? (They bother me in a similar way in child’s pose too, of all things. Halp.)
Foam rollering can help loosen up stubborn spots.
I got my foam roller! I’m only used to using it on my back – how would one apply it to hips and legs?
Some of the best mobility advice I’ve seen comes from Kelly Starrett: http://www.mobilitywod.com/ He goes WAY beyond foam rollers. My myofascial release toolkit includes a foam roller, a Rumble Roller, golf balls, lacrosse balls, about five different sizes of kids’ toy balls, softballs (two of them taped together to make a “p-nut”), and recently I purchased a few different therapy balls that he recommended on his website. If his site’s not enough for you, google “self myofascial release techniques” and you’ll get a whole host of stuff. Happy rolling!
I was never very flexible but I could do the splits last time in college. Now, it’s like my legs are just…stuck? My hammies have decided to quit. I don’t even bother bending back in ballet. Ugh, I’m so old.
Work on your breathing — release a little bit as you inhale, and then go deeper into the stretch as you exhale. It really works.
Different people have different things blocking them from the splits. It’s not always hamstrings; it could be hips, soaz (sp?), all sorts of things. So it helps to approach the splits from different angles. I would definitely do the yoga poses called “janu sirsana” and “prasarita padottanasana” and all the poses that are preparation for putting your leg behind your head like “happy baby,” lying on your back and doing that “thread the needle” pose, etc. Here is a nice piece about getting (back) safely into the splits: http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/874
Drynuary is almost over! My friends and I are having a champagne toast at midnight. How did you all fare?
Does anyone want to talk about the shitshow that was the finale of American Horror Story?
I am making up my three cheat days (a whiskey tasting and a weekend away that I planned before I decided to do Drynuary) so I am not done yet but it went surprisingly well. I haven’t really craved a drink this month beyond occasionally wishing for a beer for the taste. I didn’t even get drunk on my cheat days. Crazy!
This is not to say that I will not be hitting that sweet, sweet alcohol up come Feb 4, though.
My cravings have been mostly about wanting a glass of wine with dinner. This year was much easier than last year, though.
How was the whiskey tasting?
Not my favorite that I’ve been to, but since the theme was good whiskeys at bargain prices I’ll have some ideas for new whiskeys to buy that aren’t Evan Williams.
Tell me more!
Ha, now that I think about it, I actually don’t remember a lot of the ones we tasted. I know we had Old Grand-dad, which was pretty good, and a Scotch that is sold in cans in Alaska? I want to say Islay Mist and… Rittenhouse?
The best one I attended was the first one I went to which was sponsored by Compass Box. I love their Hedonism Scotch, which I sadly cannot really afford.
Mr. Noodge and I had a mini cheat last weekend (glass of wine with dinner) but otherwise it went very well! I love how my brain feels when it’s free of regular doses of alcohol – it definitely seems calmer, and more positive. It’s just SO DIFFICULT to maintain all the time, with events and friends and cold winters with nothing to do outside and hot summers with awesome outside drinking events…
UGHHHHHHH RIGHT?! O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied? (Ryan Murphy– Yes, I believe I will. But here’s a new Stevie Nicks music video)
Red wine with one of my besties tomorrow afternoon. AWWWWW YIIIIIISSSSSSSSS.
Ugh now it’s actually February and my boyfriend just bought home a 6 pack of some new Sam Adams white beer with coriander and pepper and I want it so bad why did I tack 3 days onto the end of this?
Matt and I met Nick Pavich for the first time last night, and it was wonderful and I was very hungover this morning.
I hate you now. I’VE never met Nick Pavich, and I have signed agreements to be faithful to him legally.
He’s a monster who will buy you lots of rum-based drinks in fancy hotels.
I’ve also never met you and this needs to change!
Come to the Strand event in March!
Jealous, NGL.
Seattle is nutty bonkers right now with Superbowl hype. This entire city will be hung over as fuck on Monday no matter the outcome.
Sooooo glad I’m in Portland. The hype will be somewhat less nuts.
Denver, too. My husband works downtown and got an email from the city that was basically dancing around the fact that they’re preparing for riots. Whaaaat, I am but a small-town girl and do not understand this Super Bowl.
They painted a 747 with the Seahawks logo and had it fly in a 12 pattern over the state.
Seriously. I’m excited too but this just seems excessive.
I did not know about that. Damn.
I was thinking about painting my nails Seahawks colors because I can’t afford to buy any merch right now and if I’m honest with myself I don’t care enough to wear it the rest of the year, but I have a memorial to go to today and I thought it might be a bit gauche.
There is a 12th man flag on the International Space Station!
Even space hates Peyton Manning!
I am not leaving my apartment on Sunday (possibly not even my bed) for my own safety.
Win or lose, I just want this insanity to be overrrrr.
Last week I posted that I was going to change my okcupid profile to say “Go read the-toast.net and if you like it, you will like me.” I did that last Friday, and I am disappointed to report that I have received 0 messages. (Well, apart from the shitty ones I always get, that just say “hey wanna hang out” etc.) But I usually get 0 messages, so there is nothing measurably different. I’ll keep it up and report if anything comes of it.
I’m tempted to put something like “if you like the-toast.net and @hottestsingles we should meet”.
brb, adding that to mine now.
HEY SO I STILL HAVEN’T QUIT YET
TOO SCARED
As someone who left their boring/soul-sucking job in early December, let me just say, it’s SO NICE not working at a job I hate. YMMV, of course. I wish you strength and general positive vibes.
I’m just really scared of confrontations and also of not getting a job again and being poor and am generally a big cowardly lion. I’ve only been there for 2 months and a bit so I’m worried it’ll reflect super badly on me/my coworkers will talk shit about me to other people who may want to hire me in future/etc
YOU CAN DO IT
I hate quitting jobs, the pit-in-your-stomach feeling is awful – but if you know it’s time then it’s always worth it.
I BELIEVE IN YOU
Go, go, go! Can you just email your resignation? That’s what I did at the job I hated.
Just resist the urge to burn it all down and complain as you go. I did that too, and that part I wouldn’t recommend. Especially if you still want to have references. 🙂 And even though I was unemployed for a really long time after, it was still FAR better than working there.
I was lucky enough to have a manager who was on my side about me writing one hell of a resignation letter to the owners of the place I left. (I walked out of my job with an eighth of a tank of gas and seven dollars in my chequing account, which wasn’t the wisest move I’ve ever made – but again, it was FAR better than working there).
Let us know how it goes / what you decide to do, cosmia!!
Did you worry at all about people shit talking you when you emailed in your resignation? I’ve only been there for 2ish months so I’m scared of looking like a terrible dumb kid
How much of an impact, realistically, will these coworkers have on your future? Is this a job in your industry?
I’m very much in favor of NOT burning bridges. I think you can mitigate some backbiting by: putting in two weeks’ notice (if you can swing that); finishing any/all projects you’re working on, or at least documenting what’s done and what still needs to be done; and avoiding being too public about how much you hate the job. Like, obviously here it’s fine, but not posting stuff on Facebook or similar unless your account is super locked down.
A friend of mine had quit a few months earlier, and I asked him what he’d done. (I daydreamed about quitting for ages before I actually did it.) I emailed the person in charge of that stuff and I just said something like Hi XX, I’ve made the decision to move on from [our place of work]. I’d like to leave around [date]. Attached is my letter of resignation.” and then I attached a letter I found on some template online, that basically just said I hereby resign and I signed it.
The boss lady immediately emailed back asking if I could come by her office to talk. So I went in, she asked if there was anything they could do to make me stay, I said no way I’m outta here, and she said okay, lets figure out your last day.
There was pretty high turnover and I didn’t want to screw over my teams, so I ended up giving almost two months notice. But that was fairly common at my office. Do you know anyone who’s resigned recently? If it’s possible to ask them how they did it, try that.
Your coworkers probably won’t shit-talk you so much as gossip about you behind your back if only because most jobs are sort of boring and we spend a lot of time at them, so it’s always nice to have something new to talk about. But so long as you don’t go out by, like, taking a dump on your boss’s desk and then setting it on fire, I doubt very much you’ll leave a long-lasting negative impression. Sometimes we are not a good fit for jobs, or vice versa, maybe something better comes along – happens all the time and when you’ve spent any time in the working world you (hopefully) understand that and don’t take it personally when peers move on. Long gone are the days when you worked your way up from Mailroom to the corner office at one company over a long career.
TLDR: You’ll be fine, just try not to make assumptions about how people may or may not react. Don’t borrow trouble, you know?
Co-sign.
YOU CAN DO THIS, JOAN. If you pull it off, tequila shots on me at the meet up tonight.
Thanks to everybody who helped me figure out how to get to NYC without dying last weekend! It was not even that bad and now I feel like a badass champion of driving.
yes!!!!!!!!!! good job
Also, is there anybody else out there besides corfay and me who would be interested in a Western Mass meet up?? (I mentioned this last week but it was buried deep inside an unrelated thread)
just reiterating this. Also western mass could include southern vermont and northwestern connecticut!!
This is true! New England is so goofy and small.
I live in the Boston area now but would just like to extend a warm Western Mass high-five – I grew up in the heart of the Pioneer Valley and miss it lots. <3
I’m all up in the Valley (we’re talking about the same town, I’m guessing) and love it to bits! High fives all around.
I work in/near Western Mass and live in CT and could meet up in either state!
Yay cool! Okay, I just made a Google Group for us here: https://groups.google.com/forum/#!forum/western-m…
I’ve never really used Google Groups but I assume it can’t be that hard to figure out?
I am very jealous because I used to live in Western Mass and it is the best place in the world. Eat some atkins cider donuts for me!!
Guys I feel like talking about Bob’s Burgers, who wants to talk about Bob’s Burgers with me
I love it so much
It makes life so much better
Bob’s Burgers is the best!
But now I can’t watch Archer because every time he talks, all I hear is Bob!
Did you see the Archer where he lost his memory & worked at a burger restaurant? Because that was delightful.
IT WAS THE BEST
Still eagerly awaiting the appearance of Sterling Archer on Bob’s Burgers
OK. Now I will have to watch Archer, just to see that. 🙂
karma is a bitch AND THEN YOU DIE
Bob’s Burgers is amazing!
We just got two teeny new fish for our fish tank and we named them Ollie and Andy.
I love it so much too! When I worked in animation, a bunch of the kids at my studio had done the first season of Bob’s Burgers, and they all had these hoodies with hamburger zipper pulls – I wanted one so hard
Wait I LOVE THAT SHOW. I just discovered it. Then mainlined the first three seasons in a week and a half. I like that they’re all sorta happy characters who are nice to each other and just a real cute family. Also, it’s so funny and weird and butt jokes!!
Alriiiiiiiight!
TINA FOREVER
Agreed! I love Tina, and the new phrase around our house is “touching butts” for everything. From this episode. What are your favorite Tina episodes???
My boyfriend and I now use “touching butts” as a euphemism for sexytime always
Did you see this?
http://www.vulture.com/2014/01/video-linda-belche…
My husband and I always say All Riiiiiiight in Linda voices, so it was especially hilarious to us, but I feel that all people will love it!
It is one of the funniest and simultaneously warmest (and weirdest!) shows out there. I love it so, so much. Beefsquatch!!!
“My middle name is Danger, but I spell it R-U-T-H.”
What started out as a text convo with one of my best friends last night about her joining a dating site turned into her coming out to me. It didn’t really come as a surprise. I’m just really happy and excited for her.
Holiday next week, hurrah! Very much looking forward to a week of not even looking at a computer screen once. Only going as far as West Yorkshire to stay with the other half, and it’s due to rain all week, but I don’t care.
I am working on a massive cross stitch project that will eventually be Klimt’s ‘The Kiss’ and yesterday suddenly felt overwhelmed by the scale of it all.
So I took an evening, stitched a naughty TARDIS and feel much better now!
Ohh! Pics/pattern for the TARDIS??
A naughty TARDIS?
Only a little naughty…
“If this TARDIS is a rockin don’t come a knocking”
Having trouble imagining what a naughty TARDIS looks like…photo pls?
Ooooh! I love it! I’m trying to start a big cross-stitching project, but I have all this floss that I have to go through first to what color I have, and which ones I need to buy, so I’m dragging my feet. I know once I get started, I’ll really enjoy it, but I’m unmotivated!
Oh, that sounds excellent! I’m about to start a less massive project of embroidering cave paintings onto napkins for a gift, and it’s the most complicated embroidery project I’ve done so I’m feeling overwhelmed, too.
This comes up when you search ‘naughty Tardis’. Next project, maybe?
Are you working from a pattern on the Klimt cross stitch or making it up yourself? If the former, please let me know where you find such cool patterns. If the latter, I am super impressed!
Replying because I am also interested in this!
Eeeek I just started my first cross stitch project! It’s the “Tomb Sweet Tomb” plaque from the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. I only have “WEET” done so far after like a month and I maybe should have started with something less ambitious, but oh well. Can’t wait to see yours!
Is there someone already having a cocktail for Toast Cocktail Hour? If so, please have one with my name on it – no day drags like Friday, feels like…
(it’s only 10:15 howwww)
Seeing as it’s only 9:45am and I have my annual review in 15 minutes, I’m abstaining from the booooze and am instead drinking some hippie green juice shit. Wooo. Party.
I’m off today (hooray for 9/80!) – I’ll throw some Bailey’s in my coffee for you 🙂
We’re trying to switch some tasks at work over to Google docs and I’ve been appointed the God of Tech by merit of being the only one who already has a gmail acount (?!?). I just told someone that “first we need to update your browser” and was met with “what is a browser?” So I guess nothing else is getting done today, but then I’m starting to wonder how anything gets done here any day.
This is hilarious and I want updates.
Seconded.
Oh man, I am so glad I work at a tech company. XD Updates please!
Oo, major empathy from me, the_wooorst.
A coworker made a comment that prompted me to tell him I had been sending him e-mails on that subject. I asked was he getting my e-mails? He looked confused. I said, are you getting e-mails from [email protected]? He says, Oh no, I don’t use Outlook. No, I assure him, you *receive* e-mails from all over the world. More confused look.
Bottom line: he’s not getting my e-mailed notes that prompt him to make database entries. (Yeah, giving database credentials to a tech-neophyte was not my idea.) Now, he gets special e-mail from me. After I hit Send, I print it for him and put paper on his desk. Special paper e-mail.
Oh god. That is so sad. Is he 85 years old, and somewhat senile? If not, someone must be told, and this must be fixed.
No, no, no fixing. I am in a tiny minority, being the least bit comfortable with technology in my office. Family-owned business = 3 generations have had no need to experience business life anywhere else and have no clue how the rest of the world operates. “We’ve always done it this way” is the mindset and everyone’s idiosyncrasies are accommodated. For example, I am often criticized for the way I handle coworkers’ *personal* calls. Yes, these people have mobile phones. But they refuse to answer them. They express tech avoidance as a virtue. Family must call the office landline and be transferred. I am thankful I only provide occasional backup to the receptionist.
I once amazed a coworker by suggesting that she google the answer to her problem…she didn’t realize there were resources beyond the website’s help page. Since then: tech wunderkid. Joke’s on them, I guess, because I am most certainly not.
UPDATE: We called in an actual expert from IT because I was in over my head, and they actually TOOK AWAY MY COWORKER’S COMPUTER because it was so old that “I didn’t know there were still any of these in the building”
I am the Adobe/Endnote guru in my office. I just call the help line or Google if I run into a problem but for some reason that makes me the lady to go to if anyone needs any thing related to PDFs or reference lists.
Does anyone have any recommendations for good makeup blogs/websites? I stopped reading them because I felt it was a neverending list of high end products that made me feel like I should be putting a ton of makeup on my face every day. But I miss hearing about new products and colours. What lipstick colours are in right now? I don’t even know that!
I really like Into the Gloss. Sali Hughes Beauty is a fun one from the UK.
Nouveau Cheap is fun for learning about basically every drugstore makeup product ever made. Maybe don’t put it into an RSS reader though, she updates like a billion times a day.
i just read somewhere (probably refinery29) that orange was the cool new color.
Sparkage has great tips as well as amazing (but do-able) concept makeup styles. She does have some product placement, but her looks are reproducible with drugstore cosmetics.
My absolute favorite makeup blog is Brightest Bulb in the Box because she’s a) very pretty and b) very smart and c) SHE USED PETRI DISHES IN HER BRUSH CLEANING EXPERIMENT. MY HEART. IS BEATING. OUT OF MY CHEST.
Anyway, she’s bright and smart and pretty and her blog is just fun to read. Definitely set some time aside to browse. 🙂
I second this. Although I wish I knew about her background (chemistry? biology? biochem? physics?). Is she a grad student? scientist?
Love her. Statistics! And makeup!
Whaaaat this is amazing!
I follow Makeup is an art http://www.makeupisanart.net/ which is reblogs of fashion makeup and the blog owner does reviews which show how things look on her.
I really like the tutorial videos on jane marie’s website (see jane marie). I didn’t start wearing makeup until this year and she is really helpful at breaking all kinds of looks down for people who maybe aren’t the most experienced. I also like into the gloss a lot and love Brightest Bulb in the Box (mentioned below).
Honestly, the best makeup resource I know of right now is on reddit! reddit.com/r/makeupaddiction is full of great looks, tutorials, product recommendations (high, medium, and drugstore prices), and constructive advice. Everything I know I learned from them, and I get regular compliments on my makeup these days.
I
I am kind of obsessed with Lisa Eldridge’s tutorials on YouTube (she’s a pro makeup artist who works with Kate Winslet etc). PixiWoo is also good on YouTube. I love http://www.portraitofmai.com/ as well.
For inspiration/more editorial looks, I like http://powderdoom.tumblr.com/ and http://www.thdpplgngr.com/. And if you want to see a million swatches, http://www.temptalia.com/ is the way to go!
I also have a book-recommendation request, Toasties –
I have a craving for a good fantasy novel, but I’m in a ‘I hate books by/about men’ phase. Anybody have suggestions? Or should I just re-read Paladin of Souls and the Kushiel series?
What about Graceling by Kristin Cashore? Sunshine by Robin McKinley if you don’t mind vampires? Ummm… The Deed of Paksennarion by Elizabeth Moon for something a little more high fantasy.
High fantasy is the thing I am going for, so thanks! (LOVED Sunshine, btw. I think I’ve re-read it more than The Blue Sword, which is saying something.)
Definitely look into Graceling; it has one of the best depictions of a relationship I’ve read recently. They work their way through some serious issues about independence and what it means and I loooooooooove it. And the character is tough as nails.
I didn’t know Elizabeth Moon wrote fantasy! I really liked her one about the spaceships.
I should also spell it properly. Paksenarrion. She is doing some follow up books too!
I’m assuming you’ve already read Tamora Pierce? Her stuff is YA, but it’s pretty high on the “ass-kicking female characters” spectrum. I think her strongest series is “Protector of the Small”–she wrote “Song of the Lioness” first, but it was a loooooong time ago and even though the content/format was pretty revolutionary, the prose itself leaves something to be desired.
Also, anything by Robin McKinley is probably a safe bet.
Oh I have Read All the Tamora Pierce ((the Alanna books were a formative life experience), no doubt. And Most Of the Robin McKinley.
I know, I have so much residual affection for Song of the Lioness that it’s actually a little disappointing to reread it.
Yeah I don’t know if I could read them now, since they won’t possible mean the same thing that they did when I was 14 …
I still reread them. They don’t mean the same thing as they did, but they’re still comfy-slipper books for me.
Kel remains amazing and delightful! I want to be Kel when I grow up.
HILD okay no I’m sorry I’ll stop talking about Hild. Most of my fantasy recs are pretty mainstream YA, but maybe check out CJ Cherryh? She has a couple fantasy series, and some very fantasy-ish scifi.
I WANT TO READ HILD. I want it to be in paperback, though. Hardcovers take up too much space and ebooks are just not the saaaammmmeee. (I am terrible about book-medium preferences. So terrible.)
…..last time i was at work there was a paperback ARC of it. If it is still there tomorrow and you don’t mind giving a relative stranger on the internet a mailing address, I could ship it your way 🙂
Give me your email and I will give you my address. 🙂
I’m vanessapmartini at gmail dot com! It was in the ARC stack so I grabbed it!
email sent!
Literally ANYTHING by N.K Jemisin.
Wow those sound good. Thanks!
YESS. I was scrolling through the comments to make sure someone had mentioned Hundred Thousand Kingdoms.
Try some Diana Wynne Jones? Not ‘high fantasy’ really, but she is just amazing. Branded as YA but her books definitely stand up to adult scruiiny. Fire and Hemlock is my favourite book ever, Hexwood is brilliant, The Time of the Ghost is creepy as all fuck, A Sudden Wild Magic is good.
Elizabeth Scarborough has the ‘Argonia’ series – not sure if they’re in print or readily available as I have very old battered copies but they are good.
Ursula Le Guin? Or too ‘about men’?
Margaret Mahy if you don’t mind YA stuff (and as you like Tamora Pierce I guess not?) – the Changeover (love story so does have boys), The Tricksters.
DIANA WYNNE JONES FOREVER. I loved her so much.
I miss her! She deserved to be so much more famous in her lifetime.
I know!! I was just talking about this the other day! I recommend her books to pretty much everyone. I just think she’s magical and special and I’m sad we won’t ever get more of her books. It’s weird that she’s always been so under the radar, how could anyone not love her!?
When I worked at a bookstore, I’d always rec her and Diane Duane in between Harry Potter releases.
I loved Diane Duane’s stuff when I was younger. Also: I really liked “Stealing the Elf-King’s Roses” which is like Fantasy CSI but not terrible? Ignore the horrible cover, most editions have THE WORST cover ever.
:whispering:
I … don’t really love her. I don’t even know why. I SHOULD. But for some reason I never really get in to her writing …
We will still love you; you will just be wrong.
I didn’t like some of it! I never got into Fire and Hemlock or the Dalemark Quartet, and I probably would have been put off if I started with those. But then a lot of her Chrestomanci books (especially the recent Pinhoe Egg, and they don’t have to be read in order) are just delightful.
I just finished rereading all of the DWJ novels, which was BLISSFUL. Her Dalemark quartet and the Derkholm books both kind of approach high fantasy, so she might not be too weird a suggestion.
Are you ok with fantasy set in modern/future times?I loved Brown Girl in the Ring by Nalo Hopkinson. It takes place in Toronto after an economic collapse, and is a fantasy similar in structure to traditional fantasy novels, but based on Caribbean culture and mythology rather than western. It’s also a fiercely feminist novel about and by Women of Colour.
I am currently craving the swords-andsorcery stuff but I like modern/urban/whatever SF too. Thanks for the recs!
Melanie Rawn’s Dragon Prince/Dragon Star books are excellent. There are many many characters so they are not strictly about women, but the balance is pretty good and the world itself is portrayed as quite female friendly for a castles and dragons setting. The main characters of the first trilogy are a husband and wife and there are many, many supporting characters.
Her Exiles series is even better in this regard – it’s literally takes place in a matriarchal setting, but since she may never write the third book I’m not sure if I can recommend it in good faith. It’s a shame, because I really like the books. They’re a retelling of the Campbell hero arc (or, less charitably, Star Wars) in a matriarchal fantasy setting.
It’s technically science fiction, but Joan Vinge’s Snow Queen cycle has a very epic-fantasy vibe to it, and it doesn’t have the offputting techy stuff that a lot of “hard” sci-fi has. Plus lots of female characters with different personalities & motivations & stuff, which is great.
I just pushed (literally pushed) this into the BF’s hands this week. So glad to see another fan.
She is CRIMINALLY underappreciated. I literally do not understand why she’s not right up there with the greats. (Well, I understand part of it, which is sexism and this thing where certain people don’t think women can write sci-fi, which is why I’m a wee bit torn about recommending her on a fantasy thread. But it’s SO GOOD.)
Robin Hobb!
NO. NEVER AGAIN.
(they are excellent books but seriously my heart my poor heart)
ah, understandable. How about Jo Walton?
The Fool O_O <3 <3 breaks my heart but I must read them again ANYWAY.
:ugly crying:
apparently she is writing more Fitz/The Fool???
i don’t know how I feel about this
:further ugly crying:
KATE ELLIOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cold Magic is AMAAAAZING and I try to get everybody to read it; the sequels are a little overstuffed but I love the emotional arcs of the characters, and the main character is one of my favorites of all time. She’s also written a fuckton of epic fantasy and sci-fi, some of which just got rereleased as e-books, so you should have plenty of options there.
Seconding the N.K. Jemisin rec. Also, it is written by a dude, but the Abhorsen Trilogy by Garth Nix has amazing amazing heroines and wonderful worldbuilding. Oh! “Crown Duel” by Sherwood Smith!
I loved the Cold Magic books! So good!
I also read… most? of her Crown of Stars books but I got bogged down somewhere and never finished.
Yes!! I especially loved Cold Steel, the third one! Great world building, great characters, and everything finally coalesces.
I was downright shocked at how much I liked “Crown Duel”.
Ooh, if you liked “Crown Duel,” how about “The Privilege of the Sword” by Ellen Kushner?
Ooh, I replied above before I saw this, but I love Sherwood Smith! Crown Duel is definitely more YA, but some of her other works are geared toward an adult audience and they’re all quite, quite good.
Cold Magic! How did I not get that Andevai was black until halfway through the 2nd book? But, that series is so amazing. I loved the world-building in that one.
Also second Abhorsen! Totally could have been written by a woman.
oh man, the Abhorsen trilogy is so good! Garth Nix can survive the revolution?
Octavia Butler’s Fledgling series (Vampires!)? It’s technically more on the Sci-Fi side of things, but I can’t recommend Octavia Butler enough.
WAY too many recommendations, so here’s my Goodreads profile.
Ooh, since we already did a Twitter follow-frenzy, can we do the same thing with Goodreads profiles? Here’s mine!
ALSO: Lynn Flewelling’s Nightrunner series, and the Tamir trilogy, because interesting explorations of gender and sexuality.
Ooooh, you might be in the perfect mood for Laurie Marks’ Fire Logic. I read it based on this review and it was AMAZING.
SAME! Loved it, still waiting for the fourth one to come out.
I like Melina Marchetta’s trilogy that starts with Finnikin of the Rock (that one, Froi of the Exiles, and Quintana of Charyn). She’s an Australian writer of Italian ancestry, and her books seem to have both the feel of Australia and Italian folklore about them. Her non-fantasy books are always about a mixed-gender group of high school or post-high-school friends who stick together through tragedy and thick and thin, and often seem kind of overwraught to me even though they’re pretty gripping, but it works very well in her fantasy novels. There are some great, very nuanced female characters, and I’m pretty picky–I decided when I was little never to read any book that didn’t have a) a female main character and/or b) female supporting characters that are as well-developed as the non-female main character. I figured that I deserved characters to identify with who are like me, just like boys have.
Rachel Caine? I liked the weather warden series a lot, especially the first books- they get increasingly relationshippy towards the later books, though. These are more fantasy-in-modern day type books.
Sherri S. Tepper is technically science fiction but her books have always read more fantasy-y to me.
Nina Kiriki Hoffman is good- I loved A Fistful of Sky.
One author who hasn’t been mentioned — Naomi Novik’s Temeraire books are delightful.
Seconding Bujold’s Chalion, NK Jemisin, Diana Wynne Jones, Ellen Kushner, and Sherwood Smith. In the ‘men who don’t write like men’ camp I’d put Guy Gavriel Kay and Garth Nix.
I’m fixing to pour a Toronto (pronounced Tronna) cocktail once the clock strikes noon. Is anyone else starting cocktail hour early? What are you drinking?
Toronto Cocktail (makes two; from David Liebovitz’s awesome food blog):
4 ounces rye whiskey or Canadian whisky
1/2 ounce Fernet Branca
1/2 ounce simple syrup
2 dashes bitters
2 thin strips orange or tangerine zest
Rim the glass of choice with zest. Shake and pour other ingredients. He serves his up; I’ll be nursing mine slowly on the rocks.
Like a fool, I volunteered to sit at a table at the public interest law job fair tomorrow, which is now also going to be the biggest snow day of the year for Chicago. So I have to leave the house before 8am on a Saturday to take the L because there’s no way I’m driving in this kind of snow.
Ugh ugh ugh.
In the remote chance that any of you are attending, let me know so we can commiserate.
I feel your pain, friend. I’m a further east than you but we’re expecting 5-7″ of snow and freezing rain and I for some reason doubled up on my volunteer gigs tomorrow. But I have no L so driving it is.
Freezing rain? Good lord. Have you considered faking your own death to get out of this?
TORONTO MEETUP FYI
Sneaky Dee’s is pretty committed to their ‘no separate checks’ policy. And has no debit. Sooo…bring cash and remember to pay?
Oooh, yes this is true, and also kind of a pain. They take cash or credit, but not debit, I believe.
But they have delicious nachos and pretty cheap beer.
That is weird! I do not live near Toronto but now I’m curious, do they let you run a debit card as credit if it has the MC/Visa logo?
Oh my God, now I really want nachos.
Sneak’s nachos are the only ones I’ve ever had where I run out of chips before I run out of toppings (ie CHEESE)
Love their nachos. Seeing Sneaky Dee’s announced as the location on Facebook made me miss Toronto so hard (I went to school there).
You are describing the Platonic Ideal of nachos.
Too bad I am in DC, one quatrillion miles from Toronto, Toasties, and nacho perfection.
Also: Get the vegetarian nachos with bacon. Avoid the beef at all costs. Nobody likes food poisoning, plus you get teh vegetarian extras.
Any knitters/crocheters on The Toast? I haven’t done any knitting in a while (I’m still in the middle of knitting a blanket that I haven’t wanted to work on lately) but I’ve been inspired to start some new projects. Naturally, I have already overdone it an ordered some yarn for a scarf… and then some more yarn for a cardigan. My cat has chewed up several of my needles in the interim (I prefer wooden) so I’ll need to get some more of those as well.
The Michael’s near my house moved into a larger building so I was excited to see their new yarn section but when I went the other night they seem to only be selling acrylic 4 weight yarn and absolutely nothing else. I hope that’s a function of the move, but it doesn’t seem to be the case since all the allotted shelf space seems to be filled.
Does anyone have any knitting projects you have particularly enjoyed or any techniques you want to share?
me me me me meeeeeeeeeee. I started knitting maybe 18 moths ago and started crocheting a little before that and it has hooked me hard. I made myself a pretty hat, and my mom some handwarmers and a cowl; I made Captain America gloves and now I am making Black Widow gloves and I am a happy yarn-covered nerd. I’m going to make my mom a beaded necklace from a kit in my LYS this weekend and I am excited and a little anxious!
Biggest project so far is probably the dog sweater I knit for my brother’s dog. To wit:
(Oh, and I am on Ravelry too! Sedna51.)
I’m a knitter!! Are you on Ravelry? If not, you should definitely be on Ravelry. You can find me there as (shockingly) Jinxie.
1) If you’re looking for an alternative to Michaels, Knit Picks and Webs both have a great selection of very affordable yarns (and other fiber artsy supplies). KP carries only their own stuff; Webs has their own line of yarns but mostly carries other brands (and has a ton of close outs and good sales).
2) Favorite thing I made last year was this entrelac wrap but I think my favorite thing that I’ve ever made (so far) are these owlie mitts . Colorwork and entrelace are both HUGELY satisfying techniques – they seem tricky/fiddly at first, but when you get the hang of it are really fairly simple, straightforward, and intuitive. Easy effort, BIG impact, so you get a lot of bang for your buck.
Boo the entrelac link didn’t work. Let me try it again
I am! I’m alixnoorchis on Ravelry. I ordered my most recent yarn from Knit Picks and I’m excited to try it out. I usually go to Michaels when I’m bored and/or need to pick up new needles. They at least used to have bamboo yarns and the occasional nice wool, but not it’s all acrylic, which I hate working with. There are also a bunch of LYSes in my area that I need to check out.
Those mitts are so cute!
My parents’ house is near Webs. Their after-Christmas sale is TERRIFYING. And by terrifying I mean amazing. And by amazing I mean I buy yarn basically once a year there and that’s me sorted for the rest of the year.
I knit! My Ravelry name is the same as the one I use here.
JoAnn Fabrics also sells needles, as does KnitPicks (the last I heard about their interchangeable circulars was that the cable tended to come out of the metal thingy it attaches to (I can vouch for that from personal experience), so just keep that in mind if you’re looking at the interchangeables. Their fixed circulars and their DPNs are awesome, though), and they’re also pretty good with yarn. There’s also elann.com, which has a lot of brand-name yarn that it gets on closeouts or factory leftovers, so you can pick up fairly expensive yarn quite cheaply there. WEBS and Little Knits are good, too (LK in particular has really nice sales).
I just ordered yarn from KnitPicks that arrived today so I’m excited to get started on a new project with it!
I’m a knitter! But I’ve only knit sporadically since last year because I’ve been having wrist issues. It is the worst! I keep looking at Ravelry (conflagrationgal) and planning projects that I can’t knit. But hey, that’s not really unusual. I wish I had like 8 hands so I could knit faster/more, because my stash is getting a bit ridiculous.
I attempted to do Ysolda’s mystery KAL but I couldn’t even finish the first clue. I have set Monday as the day I can start knitting again, so hopefully I will actually be able to knit!
I have so many unfinished projects, but at this point I don’t even remember what I was doing with half of them so I guess I’ll just have to make peace with not finishing. At least my endless blanket is a super repetitive pattern that I can pick up at any time. I’m hoping to at least finish the cardigan that I just ordered yarn for because I am actually in need of a cardigan.
Oh man, wrist issues 🙁 I’m sorry dude. One of my knitter friends just finished a Masters in Occupational Therapy (which I mention just ’cause it means she actually knows a thing or two about this stuff and didn’t just google it [like I did]) and has found switching knitting styles (i.e., if you knit English, try Continental or vice versa) on occasion to be very helpful. She’s also a big fan of those square needles you can get now (multiple brands, but I know Knitters Pride-sold at Webs-makes some) and has said that sometimes just switching up the material of your needles may help – like, if you normally use metal needs, try bamboo or wood ones (lighter and more flexible).
Good luck! I hope your wrist gets better!
Oh, I shall have to try some of these things. Square needles you say?
I’ve been doing a bunch of stuff to treat the causes and the symptoms so I hope it works out. Otherwise I might need to take a longer hiatus.
My Mom is an OT and she also had wrist issues that stopped her from knitting, so she is my guru on this. But patience is not one of my virtues.
Yup! I think Kollage were the “pioneers”, but a bunch of brands are doing it now. I have one set of the Knitters Pride DPNs – haven’t used them much, but they didn’t have any effect on my gauge.
I have successfully sanded the tips of chewed-upon needles back to satiny smoothness before, so that’s an option. Right now I’m trying to make myself a new winter hat but have frogged it twice. I’m not yet skilled enough to riff on existing patterns and anticipate the outcome, but I keep trying. On the rare occasion I log into Ravelry my username is cali.
Me! I knit intermittently, and I’m actually really mad I am having major wrist pain right now and can’t start a new project. My last one was the Peaks Island hooded scarf, which is gorgeous but was a pain in the butt to knit.
Favorite pattern: these fingerless gloves. Super easy, super fast, super cute.
I just started knitting recently! I’m trying my hand at loom knitting because it seems to require slightly less coordination on my part than knitting on needles and it’s gone better than I expected. (I greatly enjoy doing crafty type things but I don’t seem to have progressed much since age 9 skill-wise in anything.)
I made myself a pair of fingerless gloves… which has taken me since October because I kept failing at the casting off part and ended up watching as my project unraveled in a way I couldn’t figure out how to fix. Next, I’m going to make another pair of them for my nephew because he asked me to and then I’m thinking maybe a hat after that. Maybe. By the time I get to the hat, it may well be June and I won’t want it any more.
This is my faaaaavourite apttern ever: http://www.knitandbake.com/2012/03/09/one-skein-o…
It actually takes like, two evenings so you never get bored of it, and it’s the perfect gift for lady friends. I made one for my bf’s mom and she acted like I was a genius when actually it’s the most simple knitting pattern ever!
As a legacy from my grandma, I knit a little. I am trying to finish up my very first (baby) sweater, and it was all going peachy up until the knit-on button-band and collar. I dunno. I’ll have to wrap it up and post pictures, so you all can give me tips. It just looks sloppy in the end. Maybe I need a new cast-off technique?
Knitters represent! I second the recommendation of KnitPicks. The only thing I don’t like about them is that they no longer seem to sell color cards for their yarn.
I finally — after like 10+ years of knitting — learned how to do stranded colorwork with one yarn over each hand. It made me feel like some kind of knitting superhero. I’m about to start making myself this hat: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/picot-hem… and then work up to some clever mittens (like these Mittens With Pints On: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/mittens-w….
Oh, and I’m HouseholdOpera on Ravelry.
I used to crochet occasionally, and I learned to knit but I was not great at it. I wish I could make one of these though: http://knitty.com/ISSUEwinter06/PATTbinary.html It’s a BINARY SCARF, GUYS. BINARY SCARF.
I’m a knitter! @laureneliz on Rav.
I work for this startup so I’m totally biased but if you’re a sweater knitter check out http://www.makewearlove.com. It’ll change your life!
I’m gonna meet some ladyblog ladies in NYC tonight and I’m excited! MAKIN’ FRENZ.
Unfortunately, I am preternaturally Old and so because I drank ONE BEER at a pilot taping after-party and went to bed at 12:45 I feel like I am dying.
YAAAYYYYY! I’m assuming you’re coming to the meetup tonight that was mentioned last week or so on here? Because if so I will be there. Probably early so if you see someone sitting alone in the bar in a floral dress that is me.
Also any other nyc toasties who want to come to the meetup should come. It starts at 7pm and is at RPM Bar (266 Broome St). Come say hi we’re nice I swear!
That’s the one! I’m coming! I have really short hair and a teal sweater and busted looking fingernails.
yayyyyy
I’m most likely coming! (Most likely because I’m going to a HH that could turn into a long affair.)
Just wanted to say I love your Toast tag (“an owl in daylight”). So beautiful!
You guys, will you look at the cat pictures on my phone at the meetup? WILL YOU?
I’LL LOOK AT YOURS IF YOU LOOK AT MINE.
Yaaaaay!
Toasties, there were layoffs at my work this week and I think my team only barely escaped being part of them. Now we have no idea where we’ll end up. Anyway, it’s been a stressful hard week (hello, impostor syndrome + layoff-survivor’s guilt) and it’s going to be a hard drinking one. On the other hand: I had a good time hanging out with coworkers from my old job and got to introduce one of them to my friends at OMSI after dark and drink cider in a museum.
Hi Toasties! This weekend is going to be busier than usual, BUUT I’ve been looking forward to it for months, so I’m just going to go with it. Tonight is Professional Bull Riding (best night of the year) and then tomorrow night is the Sharks-Blackhawks game. Next weekend I’ll hibernate to make up for all the fun I’m having now.
Does anyone else get irritated, occasionally, at people’s insistence to drop everything for the Super Bowl, especially when their team and/or nemesis isn’t playing? I get it, American cultural touchstone, chance for being together/community, etc etc, but sometimes it feels like you just can’t do anything else that day because this ridiculous game takes precedence. I like football and have watched the SB in the past but also just…don’t totally understand.
Obviously, you do not live in Texas. [sigh]
No, and the even more surprising thing is I live in 49ers country, so you’d think every would be pouty about it but nope! Postponing an important meeting about an important project? Totally ok, because: super bowl. Oyyy
I live in Texas and care a negative amount about football at all levels.
More reason to admire you. Be my friend?
Sure! I will be watching American Horror Story: Coven and Downton Abbey with friends on Sunday instead of the sportsball.
I don’t really care about the Super Bowl but I look at it as a chance to eat a lot of snacks.
Yeah if I have nothing better to do, I am all about eating as much guacamole as possible in a 4 hour period, but…I can usually find something better to do. I dk I didn’t grow up in a sports household so I give a lot of this the side-eye sometimes.
SPORTSBALL. No, I don’t understand it, but fortunately my husband and many of my friends do not care about the Superbowl AT ALL. My family does, and I was looking forward to spending time with my sister while she’s in town, but not if that means I have to sit and watch something I don’t care about.
I enjoy sports, particularly live and not on tv (see weekend plans above), but I just don’t get having it become an all consuming thing. I’m lucky my boyfriend is the same way, we’ll watch while reading or doing something else but it’s not stopping our lives.
Plus that whole concussion thing is…not ok. I don’t really want to watch these men brutalize themselves and each other’s brains.
And the Redskins thing, and the prevalence of domestic/sexual violence offenders, yeah, the list could go on.
Oh indeed! I am in DC and increasingly people are referring to the district’s team as “the team from Washington,” which I am glad of, but I would be more glad if they just changed the name already.
I defy anyone to watch League of Denial and keep their kids in football. No thanks, I won’t sign my kid up to turrn his brain into stirred pudding. Absolutely jaw-dropping in its horror, especially when you realize that ESPN was supposed to be an equal partner in the billing of the doc but then were strong-armed by the NFL to drop their association with it (although the ESPN reporters remained a part of it).
Once it gets close to gametime, Super Bowl is the best time ever to go driving or shopping for almost anything. It’s like being in a post-apocalyptic place where only the retail workers are left in place.
I find it annoying, though I’m really pretty lucky since none of my local friends are at all into football so it doesn’t interfere in my life all that much. (Hockey, now, is a different story. Did you make it to any of the Bulls games at Cow Palace? Did you know the team just folded after less than 2 seasons? I am SO bummed because I was just starting to get into hockey! I even bought a Bulls hoodie!) (Also, where is the bull riding? I’ve never seen it in person, and I’ve always wanted to, though I feel I need to be careful who I admit that to, living where I do.)
I live in Sacramento, I’m going to the Sharks game because Mr Polka Dots is a Hawks fan. I wish there was hockey closer! I’ve been tempted to go to Stockton for games but…Stockton. I take it you’re in the bay area? The bull riding is in Sacramento and it’s totally humane (as much as riding an animal around is humane I guess?). The bulls are kind of antagonized in the pen but it’s like…poking very hard, as far as I can tell. They come to Sac as part of a tour every January (http://www.pbr.com/en/bfts/schedule.aspx) and it’s the one day a year I admit that I maybe, kinda, definitely live in the Central Valley.
I’ve seen Stockton play a couple of times (against my now-defunct Bulls 🙁 ) and they are, supposedly, quite good. I have a friend who used to go a lot when she was at UCD and apparently there’s a pretty big fanbase out that way – I’d say it’s worth checking out at least once! Bulls tickets were hella cheap and I can’t imagine them being any more expensive in Stockton, so it’s an affordable way to get some hockey.
Plus, professional hockey fan friends I have say there’s way less fighting in the NHL than in these farm-leagues so if you enjoy a hockey fight (and I’m a little embarrassed to say that I do) definitely go check it out.
Ehh to be honest, deep down inside I love hockey fights, but in practicality I don’t because a lot of those guys are showing the same types of head trauma as football players. Fights are not at all integral to the play of the game (unlike tackling being a major component of football) so I’d rather they not :/
(I’m a buzzkill, I know!)
Oh man, enjoy Sharks-Hawks! My mom would be so jealous of your PBR experience.
hi toastiessss
this week was pretty good
1. i sewed a 3d valentine for a friend, it’s a PIZZA SLICE made out of felt with heart pepperonis and on the back i embroidered, “it’s cheesy how much i like you.”
2. i am gonna go get sushi tonight with the guy i’ve been seeing and i’m in such a good mood, i want all the sushi right now.
3. i’ve been rewatching justified and i have so many feelings about boyd crowder, wow.
I’M STEALING THAT PIZZA VALENTINE IDEA WOW oh man there are so many people in my life that this will be great for. thank you for your creative brilliance!
steal away! i’m pretty pleased with myself, i have to say, haha.
i always send this girl the pizza emoji instead of hearts or whatever because, i’ve explained, pizza is like the heights of emotion for me. i love pizza sooo much and i love her sooo much too, hence, love-pizzas instead of love-hearts.
I don’t know you but I am desperately hoping that Valentine is for me.
I’m doing cheese themed presents for the boyf and I now I need to make that pizza card! So great!
This speaks to all of my interests! I am eating sushi RIGHT NOW and also I have infinite Boyd Crowder feelings ahhh.
That valentine sounds amazing!
all the boyd crowder feelings, all the time.
if someone ever told me, “you are going to meet a character with neo-nazi tattoos and crazy hair, and you are going to grow to love him and his happiness and safety will become incredibly important to you” i would laugh in their face. AND YET. i’m so scared about this season, i don’t want him to spiral out of control, BOYDDDDD.
ugh just yesterday i watched the season 4 episode where he confronts the tent preacher and that line about “in the end, their faith was not rewarded. and mine was shattered” and his faaaace, ugh.
Agh seriously! I’m so worried that this is shaping up to be the Boyd Gets in Over His Head season and I’m preemptively upset about it. WHAT IF AVA LEAVES HIM he will not even be able to handle it and NEITHER WILL I. (I’m also very concerned that he might accidentally bone Hot Latvian Lady, which, BOYD NO.)
Boyfriend and I have been blowing through the Shield, which stars Walton Goggins as Douchebag Racist Cop Sidekick #1, and it’s really incredible how little he resembles Boyd in any way despite being the most distinctively weird looking dude ever. Bro is some actor.
Did you see his guest appearance on Community a few weeks ago? He starts off kind of Boyd-ian but the end-of-episode tag was GOLDEN. So unlike Boyd.
I’ll totally admit to being weirdly attracted to Boyd in a way that continues to confuse me. I think it has something to do with his waistcoat and lope/walk and the way he is so deliberate in everything he says. YIKES.
Also I am so so so scared he’s going to bone Hot Latvian Lady and then maybe leave Ava himself in a fit of remorse/”I’ve betrayed you!” nonsense UGHHH
I didn’t! I kind of fell off the Community train after things got weird last season. I will absolutely watch that episode, though!
UH YEAH I am so with you and it is soooo weird. Like, Raylan’s a hottie and everything, but I’d pick Boyd over him any day. Swastika tattoo and receding hairline and horse teeth and drug murders and all. WHY.
The show sure seems like it’s heading toward Hot Latvian Adultery, but I’m hoping they’ll surprise us? I don’t think I’ve been this invested in a TV couple since Jim and Pam, so, yeah. Don’t fuck with Boyd and Ava come onnnnn
So I just started reading A Fault In Our Stars like 2 days ago – mostly reading it on my commute – and it’s really good so far! I’m like 3 chapters in, but a very tiny problem I’m having is that I watched John Green’s Crash Course on World History, and now when I’m reading this book I just hear his goofy-ass voice. I probably need to watch the trailer for the movie a couple more times to get Shailene Woodley’s voice in my head instead of his.
Also did anybody see that Non-Super Bowl Commercial for Newcastle Brown Ale with Anna Kendrick? Is it me or is it a little bit perfect?
Edit: Also, actually, getting more responsibility at work. Yay for that!
You are very brave to read AFIOS in public!
Oh, it’s on a Kindle. No one can tell!
I’m guessing SmrtCookie is referring to the fact that you are putting yourself in imminent danger of crying hysterically in front of a bunch of strangers. JUST WAIT.
Edit: I watched that Anna Kendrick ad yesterday and she is the literal best.
I am waiting, as I have not hit the cry-ful parts yet. And Anna Kendrick is amazing, and needs to seriously take over the world.
I know this man! (He is a little bit my husband) And he is a monster who never cries about fictional things. Not even when Beth dies in Little Women! If he didn’t make me scallion pancakes on the regular I probably would not even talk to him.
I may be heartless, but I fry up some good onion-filled dough!
I would say it’s brave not because people will make fun of you but due to the high risk of crying-in-public. I am a massive book-, movie-, and television-cryer though; maybe others are less susceptible!
Oh! I’m not so much of a cryer (he says, having cried at Star Trek Into Darkness). But I will definitely keep that in mind, thanks!
Sorry! I meant that I cried my eyes out through basically the entire book so it’s for sure not an “in public” book for me!
I did not pick up on that! I haven’t hit any cry-y parts yet, and I’m also reading some at home, so maybe once I start getting there I will be like ‘No this is not for the train, thanks”
Yeah, I never cry at things either, usually, but TFIOS is a weeper.
I cry at practically everything. With A Fault in Our Stars, I was mostly okay until the end, and then I just dissolved into ugly loud sobbing on my boyfriend’s couch in front of him and his roommate. My boyfriend (who does not cry at books apparently) was extremely confused.
You could try the audiobook version to get the voice out of your head!
That’s a good idea! I wonder if my LPL has that…
Anna Kendrick is all of the perfect as is that non-commercial, and I have been told by numerous separate people that I remind them of her. Taking and running with it as a win.
That is indeed high praise. Victory is yours.
So I’m currently studying for the CA bar, and in my practice tests this week, I FINALLY got enough pts to ACTUALLY PASS THE DAMN EXAM YESTERDAY! Oh, and yesterday I decided to drink my coffee at the beach and there was a pod of dolphins really close to shore having a blast! Plus I found a crazy cheap wine that is delicious. So basically, pretty OK week.
Good luck! The anxiety dreams fade after about three years, I’ve found.
Congrats on passing the bar! That’s also the message the dolphins were delivering, in case you missed it.
UM. WHAT IS THE WINE???
OMFG. Its Teruzzi & Puthod Vernanccia Di San Gimignano 2009, which is imported & Italian & impossible to pronounce that my Aunt found IN BULK at a dollar discount store.
NOTE: I had a fancy wine party for my bday earlier this year and they were selling THIS EXACT WINE for $30/bottle + wine club membership fee and I feel like I JUST WON
Today my boss told me I looked “awful” because I’m not wearing any makeup. Tralalala AWESOME DAY.
I have a coworker who makes comments like that. I’m not wearing make up today and so far she hasn’t noticed, I’m hoping it stays that way. Why do people feel the need to comment on appearances?? It rarely ends up being tactful.
………wtf.
“Are you under the impression I’m here to decorate the office?”
I sometimes get “Are you sick/tired?” if I don’t wear make up to work, but no one has ever been a big enough asshole to straight up tell me I look awful. I hope something awful happens to your boss.
It was a double whammy of these! “Are you okay? You look just awful!” adn when I said no, I am fine, just not wearing makeup, he said “Haha! I couldn’t tell! You just look…awful!”
And then I said please in the future don’t comment on my appearance and went and cried in the bathroom.
And it was A MAN. I assumed it was some bubbly overshare-y lady co-worker. ::FUMES:: Where’s the stake? Where are the torches?
Please know that my enthusiastic thumbs-up of this comment is both in support of this because YES GO YOU
And then I said please in the future don’t comment on my appearance
and also in sympathy for this totally understandable follow-up
and went and cried in the bathroom.
My mom was getting her picture taken to renew her passport recently and the lady behind the counter told her “maybe you’d like to come back some day when you’re feeling better?” D:
…what the actual fuck.
Well, that’s appropriate.
Did you also post this on Ask A Manager today? Otherwise there is more than one terrible jerkface boss out there and I don’t want that to be the case!
…I may need to cut back on my blog open threads if I’m starting to recognize posts.
I did! I LOVE AAM!
ME TOO! She is my bible now and I have been telling all my friends to read it. A friend of mine (another Toastie!) sent AAM to me during a period of unemployment and it’s now my absolute favorite.
I love AAM almost as much as I HATE YOUR BOSS!
AAAH so somehow I posted my intended “open thread” comment in the the snake corpses thing from yestrday. Dagnabit.
Anyway, Item 1. If you are a Twin Cities person and sometimes like to see internet people in real life, we can gradually make our way there – here’s a fb group to get started. https://www.facebook.com/groups/530207480428344/
2. Successful IUD insertion! Woooo!
Woooo! Welcome to the cult! Coven? Coven.
ROBOT VAG 4EVER
Oh my gosh, sweet! I just joined!
TWIN CITIES TOASTIES 5EVER.
I started watching the Good Wife on netflix and I’m only about 7 or 8 episodes in so far, and I like it, but I dunno, I find it a bit precious almost? I like Alicia, but she seems too infallible, and it kind of makes me roll my eyes every time a wronged victim flocks right to her and she makes everything better for them every time. I want her to be more angry and fallible and maybe a bit more vengeful. I am still early in the show though, but I have faith that this will happen. I hope I am not wrong?
You are not wrong!! There is some anger and vengeance coming! Keep watching.
That show is amazing. I blasted through the whole thing this summer with my wife, and now we are depressed because it’s not coming back until March! Woe are we! Seriously, Alicia is an amazing character, and the actors overall are amazing. The story isn’t always the best (though it is often excellent, and they do things on that show that almost no other show does) but the performances are phenomenal.
It is, in my not-as-humble-as-it-should-be opinion, the best show on television at the moment.
SINCE WHEN IS THE GOOD WIFE ON NETFLIX??? This changes everything!
Ooh, I think I currently have my netflix set as the UK one (we use an ISP blocking service) I’m not sure if it’s on Canadian or American though…
It’s on Canadian Netflix, don’t know about American.
It is on Amazon streaming for free if you have Prime.
Don’t worry about the fallibility thing. It passes.
A huge arc of the show is the idea of ‘saint Alicia’ and whether she can maintain her idea of who she is as her relationship with being a lawyer and others around her progresses.
Season 2 and 3 and very excellent. If you like parts of the show, I would definitely stick with it.
Lockhart Gardner do win too many cases though, which becomes a plot point later on!
Also angry and vengeful, just you wait!
You have to enjoy a lot of exposition and slow burn to really stick with Good Wife, imo. I love it, but I have had friends give up on the show. You should try and stick out the first season at least.
Today I am very depressed. Not for any particular reason, I’m just in the middle of a depressive episode and figured making it to work for four out of five days this week was good enough. When I texted my boss to tell her that I was taking a mental health day, I got the response ‘think of your wages, baby’. Which is a weird thing for a boss to say, even though my boss is pretty free and easy.
Of course shortly afterward I got a text that apparently my dad stole my boss’s phone (he is her boyfriend and she doesn’t guard it closely enough). But I’m still not going in.
Ugh. You need a high five for the four out of five, bb. Here’s a virtual one.
Much appreciated.
My text return would be “inappropriate boundary violation”.
Yeah, it was definitely weird. I’m glad my boss clarified that it wasn’t her.
On Monday I turned 30 and on Tuesday I met Amy Tan, misandrist hero, and heard her talk about The Valley of Amazement, which was a great book that made me cry a lot (considering I am pregnant with my daughter and the book is about… well, I don’t want to spoil it), and she signed my book and I got a picture with her and I am a big nerd/fangirl. Also, I’m having delicious Korean tacos tonight, so obviously this was an awesome week.
Question for Toasties who have been pregnant – so far I have avoided crying and raging at work. I’m nearly 7 months pregnant. Does the crying/rage become more likely the further along you go? Am I going to become more hormonal? Should I expect that there is still a chance I will murder my students?
Only six months, but have not experienced any work emotions. I have cried at a number of television shows / commercials, and gotten unbearably upset when Mr. LF has tried to throw away some things which I didn’t care to throw away. But, overall, I think you are probably experiencing all the rage you are likely to get. At least I hope it’s that way! Though you might get more snappish as you get more tired…
Happy slightly belated birthday and congrats on meeting misandrist hero, Amy Tan! I have no answers as to your queries, but I offer you my support and encouragement. Also, from what I remember about being a teenager, it’s really no surprise if any teacher occasionally entertains murderous thoughts.
Ahhh you met Amy Tan!! How badass. I’m like a chapter into that book but keep not having time to read. You’re positive review is inspiring me to get back to it…. though when I was pregnant, I seemed to be a magnet for books that included **surprise!!** tragic-pregnancy plotlines, so I feel your pain.
In my experience, crying/rage was more common in the second trimester. Despite all the dire warnings in the books about Trimester 3, it was actually the smoothest, YMMV of course. Now, when you have the baby and your hormones go ‘heeeeyyy we’re not pregnant anymore woooo’ there may be some tears for a few weeks.
The book was good enough that I managed to finish it despite lots of crying and throwing my book across the room a few times.
I am so excited about the prospect of not being pregnant any more. Almost as excited as I am about meeting the kiddo.
EVERYONE. LAST WEEKEND I MET STEPHEN FRY. It seems like everything else in my life just…extends from that, now.
OK, wait! Last weekend I went into NYC to see 12th Night and were you there too? Because, while I didn’t meet Stephen Fry, I saw him onstage. Further follow-up question – wasn’t it the best? The play, I mean?
YES THAT IS WHERE I WAS AT. I saw the 3pm Twelfth Night on Sunday!! The play was delightful and hilarious and perfect in every way. The costumes! Ohhhh the costumes… I decided later to rush back and try to buy a window card and so we got there and bought one and then S. Fry came out of the stage door and all of the universes within me collided at once.
Okay, pressing question: how do you grow out an undercut? I have a smallish one on the underside of my hair, which is especially awesome in the summer because it means less of my super thick hair. But I was thinking the other day about how incredibly painful it’s going to be to grow it out. Like, it’ll be SO awkward when it’s 1″ long. Will I need to just cut all my hair off & start again?
Scarves. Lots and lots of scarves. This is true of growing out *any* ‘do.
Have you ever been more lazy than you are hungry so you just sit and slowly starve? Because that’s me today.
That’s me every weekend.
That’s pretty much how I approach the concept of lunch unless someone else makes it for me. If I have to make lunch for myself, I’d rather go hungry — which means that since I live alone, I tend to starve during the day on the weekends.
This is why I have a lot of snacks in the home and the office. I am very lazy, but I do not at all care to be very hungry… Could you eat a hunk of cheese, or a piece of bread or a can of pineapples or something?
I MADE TOAST!
When I get really, really hungry my brain sort of short-circuits and I CANNOT DECIDE what I want to eat, so I end up sitting around getting grumpier and grumpier until someone literally hands me a sandwich or something. It’s one of my main failings.
I’m usually more hungry than I am lazy, which you’d think would be a good thing, but it means I’m not usually able to ignore an impulse to mindlessly snack.
This is me every weekend.
Are there people who don’t do this?
It’s been a good week in my library (read that in Garrison Keillor’s voice). Keep making my student workers sing Flawelss and look at photos of my cat on my phone. Next week I will be more professional… maybe.
Next week contains my birthday!!! (on Wednesday!!) I’ll be 29. So far no panic and crisis but I’m sure that will arrive in due time. Til then I give no fucks. Bring on the cake.
Professionalism has no place in a library.
Source: I work in a library
I figure as long as I’m not singing “Bow down, bitches!” around the Dean I’m safe.
That tracks with me.
I turned 30 on Monday and still give no fucks. *high five*
Isn’t Flawless the Most Amazing???
You all it’s my birthday today and it’s snowing and I have to work because two giant meetings and a ton of work but the universe gave me this for a birthday present and I am not complaining.
Happy birthday!!!
I already saw this! From your tumblr! And Happy Birthday! !!!!
ARGH! I just got another giant load of work crap dumped on me, so not only am I going to have to work through lunch, I’m not going to be able to come back here to respond so THANK YOU ALL in advance for the birthday wishes.
What’s that? You say I have to bookmark this and stare at it for at least half an hour every day? Well, if you insist.
(Happy birthday!)
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
I finished reading the 180K word Mystrade fan fic and there WAS NO END, she just got bored. Oh, my God, I’m really struggling with it today.
That is tragic. Unsatisfying fic is such a bummer.
Ohh, that is such an awful feeling.
omg there should be a warning.
There was, but on PART TWELVE, the last part! Mycroft and Lestrade had just been happily visiting Lestrade’s family in Marseilles!
Ugh. That is why I only search for ones labeled “Completed,” but even then, you occasionally get “Not Actually Completed but Never Returning to This” instead, and it is an awful trick.
Write the end. [/devil in a Belstaff coat on your shoulder]
The downside of fanfic…
Forever unfinished WIP fic is the wooooorst. I’ve stopped even starting those until I see they’re done because I got badly burned in HP fandom by “God of the Lost” and I’m STILL MAD. So. Yeah. That was like 7 years ago…
Yup HP fanfic hurts my soul because there is So. Much. forever-unfinished fic. For a long time I flat-out refused to read any WiP. I still avoid it.
I am going to try to return 4 two year old lipsticks to Sephora today without a receipt. I’ve heard they have a really good return policy and that they’re totally fine with it, but I’m worrying. Am I crazy? Am I a monster?
One of my stupid ridiculous fears is being chided by clerks when I return stuff. I might not be too sad when robots take over the world…
And a related question, what’s a good non-drying (NON-DRYING!) peach lipstick. I have pretty pigmented lips and cool coloring, but I want something close to nude without being nude. One of the lipsticks I am attempting to return is a buxom lip pencily thing that was a great color but turned my lips into the Sahara desert.
You’ll be fine! I am also interesting in rec’s for good hydrating lipsticks
Eh, worst that could happen is they say no.
Also I do not know about lipstick much, but i have found that everything is fine if I just slap some lip balm over my drying lip stain thingy…
I have a similar problem with dryness, so on every recent Sephora visit I’ve been keeping an eye out for moisturizing lipsticks. Haven’t settled on one to buy yet, but I’ve been considering all the lipsticks by Bite and the Laura Mercier Creme line. They seem to have decent staying power and don’t make my lips feel awful. Not sure about colors though.
I hate dry lips and I really like the Jouer products (though they aren’t sold at Sephora). Also the YSL candy gloss (lipstick shape but goes on sheer).
The Fresh Sugar lip balm/lipstick things are super-fantastic–moisturizing, good color, smell terrific. The Honey is a very subtle nude, and the Petal is a good, natural pink. They’re ridiculously expensive for lip stuff ($24 each or something), but if you have Sephora credit, you can splurge on them!
Does anyone have advice about befriending people when one is living in a foreign country? Some of the options that might be available to me in the US (Toast meetups, Meetup.com) are not really options here.
I do speak the language (and quite well), so I theoretically don’t need to limit myself to the sort of awful expat community that lives here. But I have no real spaces where I can meet people (like, work or school or whatever…). Also, I’m EXTRA socially anxious, even in my nation of origin. Any (encouraging) thoughts?
This is a strange-ish one, but my parents had great luck meeting people at events sponsored by their university’s alumni organization. The group was a mix of locals and expats, and the expats tended to be much more enthusiastic and culturally conscious than the expat community norm in our town. I don’t know if that’s helpful, but it could be something to look into.
I’ve also heard good things about community sports teams, hiking clubs, things like that, where you can gradually get to know people, but you don’t have to drive all the social interaction, because you’re hanging out to Do Stuff. I mostly met people through school, which was…less than ideal. (Expat communities can be weird)
YES, re: the weirdness of expat communities. I guess my big problem is that I’m not quite sure about how to find the right clubs in this country.
Oo, good question. Are you looking to meet people from that country, or just people from places other than your country of origin? What are your hobbies? Is this an area where volunteerism is common/available? In theory, I like the idea of a common project that allows you to get to know people but still gives you room for retreat into your own work or take a break when you need some space.
I say this with sympathy and a LOT of interest in people’s advice, because I might also be moving to a new country this year, though without your complete language fluency. I speak some, and pick up languages quickly, but I’m not at a level where I can really interact with people comfortably.
I’d be following a partner back to his home country and am worried that as an introvert who doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life (aka, no job plans overseas yet), I’ll just make a little nest at home and never leave. I’ve thought about signing up for an intermediate language class to meet other newbies there and volunteering at a cultural institution (using that degree, girl) to meet people other than my fella’s friends.
So, not useful advice here, but interested in other people’s recs!
I’ll say that I know that language courses are a way that people meet people in the country I’m in (unfortunately, I don’t NEED a language course), so it actually might be a good bet. Plus, if you have a kind / sympathetic partner, she’ll certainly help you with the transition / cultural competency / &c.
I AM thinking about volunteering. So, we’ll see.
Oh, also, is anyone else a tiny bit devastated that Eleanor and Park didn’t win the Printz award? I have accepted that my favorite books almost never win the big awards, but I am still a bit sad. I know it won an honor award, but it’s not the same!
FAN GIRL IS BETTER
Shut it!
Not that I don’t love Fan Girl.
Fangirl reminded me of my actual life but Eleanor & Park made me feeeeeelllllllllll all the feeeeeellllllllllliiiiinnnnnggggsssss.
I thought Attachments was cute, but I wanted more interaction between the main characters! Eleanor & Park kissed more than Lincoln & Beth, and they were in high school!
Fangirl is so good! I read it in one sitting on Friday night and I sort of want to jump back in and read it again. It’s the first Rainbow Rowell book I’ve read, though, so I guess this means I need to go and buy Eleanor and Park ASAP?
I’m reading that now!
Oh man I want to read that I am taking this endorsement as now absolute proof that I will not regret it.
Doooo ittttt. Required Toast Reading.
DON’T READ IT IN PUBLIC if you are at all susceptible to crying over books.
I cried on a plane reading it! But seriously, it’s amazing. It made me nostalgic for being a teenager and feeling ALL THE FEELINGS again and also is just all around great/heartwrenching.
OPEN THREAD THANK GOD! I went to have a drink with an ex I hadn’t really seen since we broke up over the summer (it was a short fling) ANNNNNNNND we banged. BUT it wasn’t awkward and I don’t have Long Term Relationship-y feelings about him and when I left I was like “….. do this again sometime?” and he answered “Yes, I will be your booty call.” WINNING. So many fist bumps all around!
High five!
Thanks!!! Same to you! <3
Get it!
“Yes, I will be your booty call.”
Best relationship post-mortem ever.
This time last year, I was approaching some big deadlines for my thesis, and now I keep having dreams that I’m approaching big deadlines for an unrelated academic project that I haven’t even started and it’s awful and I hate it. I graduated! I’m a master! Shut UP, brain!
Congratulations (belated) on your mastery!
Thanks!
About to go tour a day care! How will I know if I want to store my spawn there???
Gah. I don’t know but if you figure out, please tell me. I’ve been offered the opportunity to join waitlists for a human that won’t even fully exist till the summer. (!!!!) I guess see if it looks clean and the people are nice and the kiddos seem engaged, etc. . . .?
Seemed clean, none of the children appeared to be bleeding out the eyeballs or anything – most importantly, it’s very conveniently located!. I am on the waitlist for July! How crazy! I’d rather do a home daycare that will deal with cloth diapers, but I don’t know how to find one.
It is gradually thawing out; I treated myself to fancy sushi for lunch today; and I’m going to finish watching “Dredd” tonight and I’m loving every single second of it. Karl Urban, your scowly chin. I can’t.
Oh my god! I enjoyed that movie waaaaay more than I expected to.
I KNOW. It just hits so many of my buttons. I’m wincing at a lot of the hyperviolence, but the rest of it is so entirely worth it.
i have watched so many horrible movies for the privilege of staring at karl urban’s face, and dredd surprised me by hiding half of his face and yet actually being enjoyable.
I was surprised how much I enjoyed that one. Kept saying, “Okay, I’m going to turn this off,” but ended up watching the whole thing. And Cersei is in it!
Also every time I see the word Superbowl I think Superb Owl, which feels like it should be like an owl in a monocle or something.
I always think Super Bowel.
absolutely. you’ve seen this, right?
oh god i love this so much
That’s how my boyfriend keeps saying it! Greatest.
The Smithsonian has a Pinterest board of Superb Owls. It is Great. http://www.pinterest.com/smithsonian/superb-owls/
Haaaaa, I love it.
So much better than what it really is.
Toasties, does anyone have any thoughts/strategies on how to be a person who responds to friends’ messages/phone calls/texts/emails in a timely manner? For some reason I feel weird responding to something the moment it pops up (someone tell me this is dumb), like I’m going to respond more thoughtfully later on. But then I forget! And I forget for so long that it feels like not responding is better than responding stupidly late–which I know is such crap–and the guilt continues to weigh on me.
I am exactly the same way.
I have the same weird feeling about responding “too early.” My strategy for not forgetting is mostly email related, but I just keep it marked as unread, and then mark it as important and sometimes I tag it as friends or family or whatever. I am not a procrastinatey person in general though. You could also try reminders if you have something reliable like a smart phone? And just say remind me to respond to so and so in 3 days?
This is helpful! I am definitely going to try leaving emails unread in my inbox–just the thought of doing so makes me a little twitchy, so hopefully that’ll encourage me. Also, I already use Google Calendar email reminders for bills, so adding in things like calls should be a good fit.
….I thought the whole point of texting was somewhat-immediate communication? I sometimes ignore a text if I’m busy/don’t have the answer on hand, etc, but generally I answer right away. I mean, how thoughtful do I really need to be to respond to “I’m hanging out with Friend and we miss you!” or “I’ll in be town Friday!” ? Just respond! They don’t have a Pulitzer for texts yet 😉
I know, with the majority of texts, I have zero reason not to respond right away. I do need to remind myself that, yes, they do want you to respond right away–that’s why they texted you!
Ugh I have lots of keeping-in-touch guilt. I am Not Good at it, and I know that sounds like such a BS excuse.
I do the exact same thing, with practically the exact same thought process, down to the “well, I haven’t responded in three days, now it’ll just be WEIRD if I write back” and then it becomes a big guilt/anxiety THING. I am utterly terrible about this, so I have no advice to give you, just commiseration. I do want to get better, though!
In a related question, though, how long are texting exchanges supposed to go on? Are you supposed to say “bye” at the end? I just kind of…don’t respond when I’m done. Is that rude?
San Francisco toasties!
Have any of you ever attended the Shipwreck event at Booksmith? I’ve never been to one but since it’s in my neighborhood it seems silly not to check it out…especially since it’s Pride and Prejudice next week. If any of you have been, let me know if I should run directly to buy a ticket, or, alternatively, run in the opposite direction.
http://www.booksmith.com/event/shipwreck-pride-an…
I had no idea this was a thing, but it sounds so fun. Plus, how can you beat a $10 event that includes drinks (plural!)
I haven’t! Somehow I haven’t even heard of Shipwreck despite the fact that I am ALSO in the neighborhood!* Vmartinipie (who is also our neighbor) works there (or worked there?) so maybe she will pop up and tell us how they are?
*HI NEIGHBOR! I LOVE how many Toasties there are in our part of town.)
I have not been, but a friend of mine has and she loved it. I think her recommendation is probably good for Toasties in general. I have not followed it myself due to laziness, mainly. Don’t let my unwillingness to leave the East Bay cramp your style! Get a ticket!
I really really want to go but I’m going to be out of town. 🙁
I’m not good at nested comments so I’m not 100% sure to whom I’m responding…I’m attempting to respond to the whole thread. We shall see.
I picked up a ticket, so if anyone else decides to go let me know and we can figure out a way to find each other! The employees working there today were really enthusiastic about the event and it sounds pretty awesome. I assume tix will be available the night of as well.
And hello to my fellow Upper Haighters! I wonder how many of you I’ve walked passed, unknowing.
Any New England runners around here? How the HECK do you motivate yourself to go running in this dumb weather? I don’t even want to leave the house. I’ve been half-heartedly doing other fitness-y things but it’s not the same help
I’m a Chicago runner! The weather IS dumb, but I just signed up for a half marathon at the end of March (OMG TWO MONTHS), and that $55 is pretty motivating to get me out the door in the morning. Also, this morning when I didn’t go for a run, my husband gave me the guilt trip (“Is staying in bed part of your training plan?”), so telling people that you’re committed to doing something is very powerful.
Also, I bribe myself with sugar.
I am also running a half-marathon soon (end of Feb), and that has been the best motivation possible. I definitely would have stopped running this past month if it wasn’t for the upcoming race.
Otherwise, I have no suggestions. Getting out of a warm bed is sooo hard.
Hmmmmm. I have some soccer buddies who have been trying to goad me into doing a St. Patrick’s Day 10k with them, maybe I will do that! My fear of people thinking I’m bad at something USUALLY trumps my general laziness.
I just watched the Act of Killing last night, and I’m kind of a wreck. Who wants to talk about it with me??
Toast Friends: I am seeking your best “so-you’re-knocked-up” advice! (Before anyone rudely or otherwise asks, NOT THAT ANYONE WOULD OBVIOUSLY, yes, planned and very lucky to be due in June w/ Hubs in grad school and off for the summer. Yes, also excited and appropriately petrified.)
Mostly, I can’t find anything to read that doesn’t talk way down to me (What To Expect = Kill Me In the Face) or any resources that are not all like DON’T EVER EAT THIS and/or SMOKE POT ALL YOU WANT I’M SURE IT’S FINE. I’m not really all that worried about what to do with a newborn (yet. But of course that may change). I would like to make good use of this time, in terms of prepping mind and body.
Also, I’m sort of figuring out what to do, career-wise. My wonderful partner-mentor-boss-lady gave me the “Now’s the Time To Lean In” speech a few weeks ago, but I’m not really feeling it, mostly because I know I don’t want to be a Big Law partner. But I need to stay employed while Hubs is in school. Also, my job is in NYC but my house is in New Haven, and I’ve been crashing with Grandma-in-Law during the week, but clearly that’s a no-go once there’s a baby in the picture. I think? Maybe I should just find some NYC child-care situation (because that’s so easy and cheap and findable. . .) and bring the baby to the city for some kind of Tues-through-Thurs situation?
Anyway. Basically I want you to please tell me anything you think I need to know . Seriously. Anything. Total well-intentioned noob here (who is totally chunking up like a beast. Yipes!). Halp?
A great book I read when I first got pregnant was Expecting Better by Emily Oster. It’s research based and debunks a lot of the typical pregnancy myths about what you can and can’t eat. She’s an economist who did a lot of thorough research during her own pregnancy, and I found it really useful and reassuring. She is all about empowering pregnant ladies to make their own informed decisions rather than listening to nonsense.
Also, congratulations!
just ordered!!
Ok, once you get to your second trimester, and have presumably got your fill of thoughtful, educational, well-researched stuff, for entertainment value alone, I highly recommend the online Baby Center Birth Clubs. The Birth Club for my month (March) vaccilates wildly between “I am too much of a special organic snowflake to drink the glucolose (gestational diabetes test fluid)” to “How do I turn my life around in the face of an abusive family, estranged ex, and poor job prospects?” It truly is a slice of life, and if are ever feeling sorry for yourself, definitely puts the minor aches and pains in perspective.
In all seriousness, why is there not an entire genre of literature (like the Buildungsroman) around the theme of first pregnancy? It is so clearly a make-or-break point for many women, when they make major decisions, and either pull it together for themselves and their unborn child . . . or not.
Every baby is an individual. No way to predict his/her temperament. Keep options open until the little angel tells you who s/he is. Angel may need to be in an unvarying environment every day, or may be a go-with-the-flow easy adjuster. Wait and see.
Thanks! One of the ways that I’ve been trying to practice this a little bit is to do with the sex of the baby. We’re totally not finding out because I think it’s one of life’s remaining mysteries and I love that but also because I don’t want anybody preconceiving notions about this proto-person yet. Also, when people ask me “Do you know the gender?” About 40% of the time I respond with some variation of “Gender is a social construct, which the baby will or won’t self-determine at any time it/s/he damn well chooses. And no, we’re not finding out the sex.” Sometimes that seems too rude, although I try to leaven it a little with some humor. But even I’m surprised at how strongly I feel about this.
I just hope the baby’s a good sleeper!! And minimal food allergies, because those can be scary. . . .
That’s so great! I think you’re on the right track. Not having a ton of expectations and being open to what the baby seems to need is really the way to go. Flexibility is key.
With my first baby I wanted to have her sleep in a bassinet next to me and it turned out she needed to have her own space free of distractions. She got overstimulated easily to where she would need to be held firmly in a dark, quiet room to fall asleep sometimes– no singing, no nothing, just holding until she could calm herself and was ready to be put down. My second baby thrived on being held every single second, could sleep through anything, and co-slept with me for almost the entire first year. She’s also my most high-maintenance child now, which I wouldn’t have guessed when she was a baby since she was so go-with-the-flow and didn’t need the structure my oldest did.
Congraaats! My advice is to read as little as humanely possible. It all talks down to you! This is impossible advice to follow because of course you want information, but god the options suck.
If you have the slightest hippie inclination or can get past a little bit of mysticism, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth is among the more reassuring labor and delivery books. Even if you have no plans to do drug-free, she’s one of the few people who doesn’t dwell on everything that could go wrong.
On that note, prenatal yoga is the best even if you aren’t a yoga person. Also, labor is not THAT bad, so don’t be scared by people who delight in telling you stories about how they had contractions for 400 hours and died seven times. It’s uncomfortable but not excruciating. And don’t let people give you shit about how you decide to give birth. It’s all awesome.
Baby-care books are even worse than pregnancy books. The only one I would ever recommend would be Baby Day-by-Day. It’s not fear-mongery, focuses on how your baby will develop, and doesn’t spend a lot of time telling you that you must do this or that. Like RoseCamelia said, your baby will have a personality of his/her own, and there’s no universal recipe for perfect sleep or feeding or whatever.
My best advice is to find yourself prenatal caregivers and a pediatrician who are open to questions and non-judgmental. My kiddo’s doctor is a better source of advice than 1000 blogs or books (and usually, his advice goes something like, “Yeah, sounds normal. She’s a baby”).
I read Ina May’s books and the Mayo Clinic book. I think reading all the labor and delivery stories in Ina May’s books were really really helpful to me, as I was so fucking terrified of birthing a baby.
Find a good OB you like a lot and want to see. I also got a doula, just because of the fear of childbirth thing. It turned out my labor progressed really quickly so she didn’t do much, but I was happy to have someone to call to sit next to me and hold my hand without jostling me.
Prenatal yoga is definitely the best- where I live if was mostly a big bitch session followed by some mild stretching. Get as much exercise as you can stand because labor is actual work and you’ll want some muscles still. I know it sucks, especially if you are in the first trimester which can be a pukey exhaustion that seems never ending, but it really is helpful! At least just walk as much as you can I guess.
If you don’t have pregnant lady friends or friends with babies then I would highly recommend that you go out and find some. It’s really easy to make baby mom friends because you can just talk about your babies forever!
Good luck! Babies are way cooler than I thought they could be. It’s amazing.
Oh! For nausea, if you happen to be having trouble feeling nauseous when you brush your teeth, I had great luck with buying a child’s toothbrush. The smaller head didn’t trigger my gag reflex as much.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! My main advice would be:
*You deserve to leave your OB/pregnancy healthcare practitioner appointments less stressed than when you went in. If you’re more stressed for any reason, it’s OK to make a fuss. It took me my entire pregnancy to learn this.
*If you’re in pain postpartum/in the hospital/after going home for any reason, demand a) that someone check you out and b) that you get adequate pain meds. (If you don’t feel pain, then awesome!)
*Don’t worry about feeding, if you were gonna. There’s tons of militant lactivism out there that is more about shaming mothers who aren’t exclusively breastfeeding than feeding the baby. Breastfeeding is wonderful. If you can only partially do it (O HAI! Hypothyroidism plus off-the-charts baby FTW!), or can’t at all, that is wonderful too. After my initial devastation at not being able to EBF, I settled into combo feeding quite comfortably, and I know many lovely mothers who formula feed their happy, healthy babies. Do whatever is best for you, and it will be awesome.
I had PPD (also, if you start feeling like life is horrible and will never be the same again, or if you have repetitive, intrusive, scary thoughts, or if you feel in any way horribly wrong, get some help! You deserve it!), but my baby is now seven months old and learning and growing and really making his opinions known, and it’s fabulous.
Congratulations! I’m also due in June, with my second. Despite the fact that I research the hell out of everything else in my life, I kind of rode it out with regard to pregnancy books. I poked around the internet, found a good online community that answered my most pressing concerns and most idle curiosity, had a baby, and figured things out. I did read up a lot on gear and stuff, maybe because I felt like that was knowledge that was stable and that I could encompass? You’re smart, you’ll figure things out, you’ll ask for help when you need it. You’ll be great!
HELLO DC TOASTIES! I’m super jealous of the Toronto meetup and would love to do the same here in Our Nation’s Capital. Is this already a thing that happens that I’m unaware of? Can it become a thing? :D?
Seconded!
Thirded?
I would be Into That.
We are having a book club meeting next weekend!
I was gonna ask about the book club! Was a location ever decided?
I don’t think that it has been decided yet.
Yes it should be a Thing! I am going to the book club (I never heard about a definite time/location, either, though) but would also appreciate a get-together that doesn’t require reading 600+ pages first.
Nooooooo, all Toast meetings will require 600+ pages of reading. It’s in the bylaws.
Yeees, I am all for reading 600+ pages, but somehow book clubs make me nervous/incapable of following through (wtf self????), and also I did not get in on this one. So, anyway, let’s make it a Thing!
There is a Facebook group for DC Hairpinners (which is now also Toasties). They had a meet up tonight, actually.
WOW this cocktail hour is already super huge!! I missed out on last week’s IUD thread so am asking my question here because I know IUD-havers are a generous bunch 🙂 Here it is: I already have a heavy period, like, through a super tampon in 2-3 hours heavy. I would prefer the copper IUD because ideally no synthetic hormones would be involved. Has anyone’s periods NOT gotten markedly heavier with Paragard, beyond the first few months so? I am already a bit anemic and don’t want to have even heavier periods.
I have Mirena (which I love love love) so I don’t have any anecdotal evidence for you, but when I was still undecided about which kind to get, I talked to my doctor about it and she said to expect about a 10% increase in period heaviness/length/general suckiness with Paragard. That was a big factor in my decision to go with Mirena. Not sure how that stacks up against people’s real life experiences though!
Bahh I got a Mirena on my doctor’s advice (family medical history = extra hormones are helpful) and my periods are exactly what you describe. So long, sometimes heavy sometimes not, and oh boy my PMS :/
I’ve had it for 13 months or so and I’m actually kind of ambivalent about it. I do enjoy not having to remember a pill but that’s about it.
Booo that’s the worst! My periods have gotten pretty sparse, which I gather is the more typical outcome for Mirena. I’m sorry you haven’t had a better experience!
My experience: My periods got heavier with the Paragard (but not markedly!), but then became significantly lighter after about a year of having the IUD. It’s pretty great. I <3 no hormones.
Oh good! Somebody else has my same experience! Maybe I’m not pregnant after all.
So for me it was a 6 month thing. So for 6 months they were heavier and then around month 5 or 6 they started to die down and over the next few months went back to normal. Now they are the same as they were before I got my IUD. So maybe that helps? Also if you’re insurance covers it you could try it and then get it taken out and switch to something else that works better.
I have a Paragard, and mysteriously my period basically vanished after the first 6 mos. I last had it six weeks ago! (YMMV bc I was not “regular” before this.) I know that’s not supposed to happen……. hopefully I’m not pregnant! hahaahahaaaaaaaa *throws self away*
Also: New Gent came to pick me up from work. I had idly mentioned I wanted a taco, like in my ideal fantasy world, I would have a taco in my hand at that moment. HE BROUGHT ME TWO TACOS. keeper
KEEP HIM. Tacos are one of the universal declarations of love, I think.
That is love, that is.
My bitter single heart just teared up. Tacos are magical.
I’m not really bitter, I just want tacos. 🙁
Fellow Toasties, I am so over January. I bid it good riddance. Seriously, is anyone else suffering from January depression? I know it always gets better around the second week of February, but it has been so hard to remember these past few weeks. So, here’s to being a better friend and a little more outgoing starting tomorrow.
I have had a horrible January, but today I finally, finally, finally got around to going back to the doctor, and he was GREAT. Tomorrow is a new year. x
YES. Though it is manifesting less as actual depression and more as being incredibly cranky and tired all the time.
Same. I’m having a rough month because there’s been so much snow and so much ice that driving anywhere is tempting fate and public transpo-ing anywhere is tempting frostbite. I feel so claustrophobic.
YES. Or not really depression, exactly, but it’s like my brain is twice as susceptible to sudden bouts of panic and doubt. It’s been happening for years now and I still can’t quite figure out why. It lets up by February, so I try to hold off on any major decisions until then, but damn if that’s not difficult sometimes.
Yes! This is exactly like what it’s like for me too. It’s so frustrating and disheartening.
This month has been awful! There’s been some objectively bad and stressful stuff going on (which I’m hoping to resolve soon), but the gloomy weather is just making it all worse. I thought I was just having a stressful month, but it seems like everyone I talk to is miserable or answers “How are you doing?” with a “*sigh* I’m okay.” I’m just trying to keep April and spring in my mind.
Oh my goodness, the awful weather has made it so much worse. I hope everything becomes less stressful for you soon.
I’ve had January depression since October 🙁 Crankiness, tiredness, feeling dumb, feeling numb, blech. It’s not bad enough to keep me from functioning, but then again, I am very good at making myself do things I don’t want to do.
I think it’s the weather. And the lack of sunlight. And my job. 2 of those things will get better in the next two months. And the other one, well, we’ll see.
This has been the January in which I learned that extreme cold (or even moderate cold, when it’s my apartment over a stretch of many days) makes me very, very cranky and also incapable of doing much of anything besides whining about how cold it is.
So, yes: don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out, January.
Can we do a Best of Wikipedia thread? I’ll start with this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Princess_Anne_of_L%C…
“For the historic flight, Anne was dressed in royal purple to demonstrate what style of clothing she felt women should wear during a transatlantic flight. Her wardrobe consisted of purple leather knee-breeches, a matching jacket, a black crush hat, black silk stockings, and high-heeled fur-lined boots.” And I thought I was doing well by not wearing my pyjamas on long plane rides.
Not gonna lie, if you add homemade earrings shaped like musical notes, that’s a straight-up Claudia Kishi ensemble right there.
TO CONTINUE THE ONGOING DRAMA THAT IS MY LIFE,
Ex-dude went to a Landmark seminar last weekend. If you don’t know what it is, it reads as seriously culty, and grew out of est. So, he was out of town, it was no-pants-weekend, and on Saturday I saw Mamma Mia! and generally had a very good day. Until dudebro called me at 10:30 at night, because he “needed to talk.”
So he called me to a) admit that our relationship had gone beyond friendship, b) he was there too for a good time, and c) when that ended on his end that he kept using me. Oh, and that he’s sorry for both not telling me sooner and the why of it.
And that he thinks it probably looked to me like he hated me, but he doesn’t and that he really values me as a friend. Fucker. Like I didn’t know the above, and I could give a fuck less about his sorryness. And no, I never thought he hated me, just that he is a horrible person that should be kept away from women forevermore.
It’s lifestyle AA, and I’m apparently first on his list of reparations.
Because sweet Jesus fuck, I really had a good day, and this fucker had to go ruin it with his “I wanna be honest with you because I really haven’t been ever, I loved you at one point, but that was done a while ago” and I fucking quote “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when your feelings for me were no longer appropriate.”
I am taking to sea. And moved up my moving plans.
Oh, and as the group is suuuuuuper culty, he is gunning hard to get me to go. No thank you, I am not paying $600 to learn how to shift blame more effectively.
Hahaha WHOA. “when your feelings for me were no longer appropriate.” How do you even say that? Asshole. Take to the sea, and leave him in your wake.
I ended up just saying “Okay,” while flipping off the phone, hanging up on him, and then managed to pack up an entire room in 6 hours. After being talked down by my bestie from eating a ton of asparagus and peeing on his bed. Rage-powers ACTIVATE! Out by the end of February, and not mid-March.
OMG, that kind of would have been a perfect revenge scene though. Hilarious. That and sprinkling Legos all over the floor in the middle of the night while he’s sleeping.
I D: -ed at “Landmark seminar” and it only went downhill from there. I’m so sorry.
If that had happened to me, I would just never talk to the person again. Is this a viable option in your case? Or, is that equivalent to taking to the sea?
Unless I also want to cut the rest of my friends in town out of my life, I can’t completely just drop him, as much as I would love to. I’m sticking to the barest of social niceties at this point, because he doesn’t get to keep my friends too.
I had a friend who did Landmark when we were in (different) colleges, and she called and left me the craziest voicemail ever about how it had changed her life and she really thought I should do it, etc. etc. Very unsettling. Fully support the moving, and wishing you godspeed. Transitions are hard no matter what, but physically moving is one of my least favorite chores everrrrrrrrrrrrr.
I KNOW. I just did this a year ago, and I don’t want to ever do it again. But on the bright side, I never did unpack my bajillion boxes of books after the last move, so that’s a day of work I get to avoid.
There really needs to be a distinction between “taking responsibility for your shit” and “making people who thought they were done with your shit deal with your shit again so you can feel better about yourself,” because this falls squarely in the latter camp and is bullshit.
This is the bit that pisses me off the most. I got dumped at the beginning of June. I want to move on. I’m trying really hard to move on. But this asshole keeps bringing shit back on up to the front and twisting that knife just a little more.
Take to the sea – find a pirate ship – get this dudebro in the sights of your long nines.
Oh my god, run away from Landmark. RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN
Oh, yeah. Was so already planning on it in the first place.
Dude cornered me when he got back to tell me alllllll about his experience. Aside from all the the other horrible manipulative crap, there is a section where you have to make yourself experience fear. And go deeper, and experience it worse. And worse. And worse. All in the name of “discovering why you have protection mechanisms, and getting rid of them.”
They have no psych staff on site. They provide no psych aftercare. This is so completely irresponsible and dangerous it makes me angry.
Who is good with radios? My kitchen radio used to get most stations really well, but recently it has become very poor at picking up NPR (one of my favorites). It has become really hard to tune because reception changes drastically depending on how close I stand to it (my body obviously is a conductor). Sometimes it also works better when I open the door of the microwave, which it sits on. It’s bizarre. It never had these problems until recently, which coincides with a recent cold spell. Nothing else that I can think of has changed. Other radio channels still (mostly) come in fine. What is going on? and how can I fix it so that I can listen to the radio again when I cook??
Halp! please and thank you.
Maybe this is obvious but you could try moving it to a location that is farther away from you, so your movements won’t effect it as much? Also try adding another metal object in the room or moving them around to see where it helps – extra conductors! This is based on personal experience and not knowledge of how waves work.
ALSO JUST this moment Science Friday stopped coming in to OPB :O
I don’t know if it’s a problem with your radio, but I’ve had similar problems with my local NPR station on my bedroom clock radio for years. Right now it’s a good reception time, but I went for quite a while not being able to listen because it was nothing but static. It got more staticky whenever I brought my hand close or when I moved around nearby. I thought it was my radio, but I brought in another one and it had the exact same problem.
Do you have another radio you can bring in to see if it’s actually your kitchen radio that’s acting up or if it’s an external issue?
Thanks! I think it might have been the NPR station itself, since it’s back to normal now on my radio after maybe 5 days of fritz. Mysterious!
1. My (self-described “little-c communist”) husband watched the Mitt Romney documentary on Netflix this week and said it “wasn’t bad”. Now I feel like I should watch it. I’M AFRAID I’LL FEEL SYMPATHETIC FEELINGS. Have any of you toasties watched this?
2. I went on a lovely vacation last week, and so this week of work has been Horrible. The fluorescent lights and computer screens are burning out my eyeballs.
3. I need friends in Chicago! Preferably smart ladies who read interesting books and listen to podcasts and are hilarious and honest and funny and feminist? Bonus points if you are a runner (I need a running buddy/group) or a yogi (I need a new yoga studio NOT COREPOWER YOGA).
I could be wrong, but isn’t it endorsed by Romney? In which case, I don’t understand how it can be an objective piece. My bf has been wanting to watch it too.
Yea, I don’t think it’s objective at all. From what I heard, it follows him throughout the presidential campaign, but you get a sense of his family life him as a person and not just as a politician. I’m conflicted because I generally like those types of documentaries, but I don’t know if I want to view Romney as anything more than The Enemy.
I’ve seen it, and it’s not so much that it’s not objective as that it has an extremely narrow focus. It shows Mitt Romney interacting with his wife and sons, and that’s it. His campaign manager doesn’t appear on screen until election night, at the very end. Paul Ryan is there for about a minute at the end. You’ll learn nothing about his positions, his campaign strategy – it’s a very non-political documentary about a politician. What was fascinating were some of the scenes showing how stressful campaign life can be – particularly Mitt finishing his takeout lunch waiting to do the first debate, and the long drawn-out misery of waiting to concede.
Corepower! I just did their free first week thing and got an insane upper respiratory infection, which I chose to blame on them (dozens of bodies crammed together in a hot and humid room? Bacteria party!). It was pretty crazy while it lasted though! No one wore any clothing! I’m mostly commenting here in the hopes that you have other fun horror stories (since I secretly really liked it until it obliterated my immune system but need to remember I can’t afford it).
Haha! I did the free week, and then paid full price for a few classes, but I hated feeling like I was workout class. I had one instructor who SHOUTED the poses/instructions. Not my idea of yoga.
My one true horror story is from the Hot Power Fusion (I think?) class. It was PACKED with people, and there was a guy in the front row who: 1) was only wearing speedo-sized “pants”, and 2) was using a CPY yoga mat (the kind you can rent from them for $1 and smell funny). 30 minutes into the class this guy had a LAKE OF SWEAT underneath him, and it was spreading to his neighbors. He was slipping in all the poses because he couldn’t get traction. It was insane!
I go to Bloom Yoga in Lincoln Square (off the Rockwell brown line), and it’s pretty great – a good mix of folks in classes and reasonably priced.
I’d be super into meeting some Chicago toasties at some point, but I am unbearable right now and likely will be until this unrelenting fucking winter ends.
Hi,
I would like to apply for the position of being one (of surely many) new chicago-running-podcast-listening-friends. I’m kind of shy in real life, but you are a toast reader, so that’s something in common right off the bat, right? (Also, what neighborhood are you in?)
If you have a twitter, send me a message (I’m LeniWhistle)
Hello, Toasties! Mr. Hoovian and I closed on our house yesterday, after having to postpone because of HOTHLANTA 2: RETURN OF THE SNOWPOCALYPSE. Which was… really bad. Really, really bad. Some of it could have been mitigated by people taking the weather forecasts more seriously, but we have serious “cry wolf” situations down here when it comes to snow in that for every 10 “it’s gonna snow” forecasts we get, maybe ONCE we get a slight flurry that doesn’t stick. Actual sticking snow in any amount is super rare and so when people finally figured out it was serious business everyone was out at work and schools/businesses/government all let out at the same time and it just turned into the most awful, stupid thing I’ve ever seen. And then of course all of us spent the next two days being talked down to and patronized by Northerners Who Scoffed At Our Stuation, because “oh it’s just snow,” and we’re all sitting here looking at our roads covered in sheets of ice and gridlocked people-are-stranded-and-sleeping-in-grocery-stores situation and just thinking, “Really guys? Shut the fuck up already.” Yes. Clearly it’s “just a flurry.” Clearly.
Anyway, it’s currently 50 degrees outside and sunny, which makes it all seem really surreal. Two days ago we were below freezing and in full citywide panic and today it’s… nice out. What.
I personally got home just in time during the mess — I was on the road for 3 hours and had I left work any later than I did, I would have gotten stuck sleeping in a grocery store somewhere. Two of my coworkers waited until around 3:00 to leave and ended up sleeping in the aisles at a Publix just down the road.
I have to admit I was getting some Mid-Atlantic schadenfreude on, not because I felt that we could have driven on sheets of ice, but because for once it wasn’t us being looked down upon. I am so sorry, it looked truly dreadful and I’m glad you’re safe.
I can second that as a Northerner. The Midwesterners are truly the ones who scoff at all of our versions of inclement weather.
Oof. I read a good article yesterday on how the Atlanta situation wasn’t caused by Atlantans not being able to drive in the snow, but actually a whole bunch of historical and socio-economic reasons like the fact that greater Atlanta is made up of like 26 different counties, meaning 26 different municipal governments not coordinating their clean up efforts and 26 different school systems not coordinating early dismissal time, as well as the main Atlanta artery being over-trafficked at the best of times, etc, etc.
As someone from Rhode Island, I certainly can’t get on my high horse about snow management. Our pattern is 1) Crazy blizzard catches everyone unaware and causes a state-wide emergency 2) Overreaction to weather forecasts for the next five years 3) Complaints that school departments and RIEMA are overreacting and causing school to run late into the summer and people to have to leave work early for no good reason 4) Beginning to ignore all but the most dire weather predictions until 5) a crazy blizzard catches everyone with their pants down and the cycle begins again.
Congrats on the house!!
The worst is people who are using the cold/snow this year to claim global climate change isn’t a thing. The second worst is people who blame the meteorologists for not forecasting that shitstorm. Nope to both.
After more than 20 years in the Northeast, I am now in Texas. I have mad driving-in-snow-and-ice skills but I stay home when there is even a little ice on Texas roads. 1) I no longer have snow tires, so I no longer have confidence. 2) My skills are nothing compared to the accumulated lack of experience in most of the drivers around me. Ice is not the enemy. Lack of snow plows, snow tires, or much experience in others add up to the real enemy.
I am sorry you suffered. I really am. I hope you are safe and warm now.
Yuuuuuuuup. There’s a very good reason people in Georgia freak out about snow and ice, and it’s not borne out of some inherent inability to manage inclement weather. Sorry you had to deal with that blah blah competitive bs and very relieved to hear you avoided the worst outcome.
My boyfriend’s parents (they both grew up and lived in the north into their adulthood) live in N. Georgia but work in and around Atlanta. Their route home was blocked by an overturned tractor trailer that no one could get to, and they would have been stranded overnight in freezing weather conditions that could have turned fatal for them. Luckily, a thoughtful coworker lived nearby, heard about the accident some time later, and put two and two together. The coworker ended up sending her husband and his four-wheel behemoth out to pick them up and let them stay until the roads became drivable. And of course, she couldn’t head into work the next two days, but her office punishes her by telling her not to bother coming in on the weekend.
But yeah for your very own house that you can fill with warm pleasant memories! Congrats!
I finished applying to the last grad school I’m applying to last night! FINISHED. Now I just have to wait for my lame old professors to turn their recommendations at the absolute last minute. I took myself out to the country bar after I finished and this groovy hippie-mama told me the vibes were telling her I would get in, so that’s good news.
And I went on a date with a reasonable, really funny human being and it was REALLY fun! I didn’t get too drunk and it was short enough that I didn’t do anything too crazy, but we will see each other again! I have a history of being only involved with people who are mentally ill and like, won’t move out of my house after I break up with them or become violently intoxicated and start fights on my sister’s birthday, so this is pretty good news for me.
Oh my goddd applying to grad school and relying on professors to be timely. I asked 3 profs to write me letters back in September, kept in contact through about mid-November. Then, at thee me of December, SIX DAYS before the first due date, and one of them still hadn’t submitted anything. I sent her a bunch of increasingly panicked emails (of course, due to departmental budget cuts, her office no longer has a phone).
Finally, FINALLY, the day before it’s due — after having resigned myself to an incomplete application — she sends me an email saying, “yes, relax, I’m submitting it right now.”
I’m having heart palpitations just remembering it all.
Right? RIGHT?? I was so, so convinced that I wouldn’t get in because my letter writers couldn’t get their shit together. They did, eventually, but I was an absolute wreck for about a week.
Getting letters of recommendation will always be the worst part of anything because of a) the asking and b) the agony of hoping they will actually remember to do it.
And it’s like, they’re doing you a favor so you don’t want to pester them or anything, but on the other hand if they said they were going to send it they should up and SEND IT ALREADY JESUS DON’T THEY KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH.
EXACTLY EXACTLY
God I hope I get in so I don’t have to do it again.
Oh, Toasties. Last night was one of the worst nights of my life: I had a major, major anxiety attack, and nearly lost my mind completely. It was the worst thing. It was so awful. BUT, this morning, the Tall Man held my hand while I called the hospital, and by 11am I had seen a nurse and a psychiatrist and by 11.30am they had rejigged my medicines, and put me on the waiting list for therapy. So. Swings and roundabouts. And this evening I am going to cook chorizo mussels.
Ugh, I’m so sorry, anxiety attacks are the absolute worst. Glad you’re somewhat better now, and hang in there! (And the mussels sound delicious!)
Having a hand to hold, and still taking care of yourself is pretty awesome. Go you!
I don’t mean to be flip, because your situation sounds like a pain to deal with, but sausage should seriously be listed as a medication all on its own. So great.
I’m so cranky. SOOOOOO CRANKY. And trying very hard to not get in pointless internet fights all week. I’m sure a lot of it is just that it’s been a long, stressful week at work, and some is the freezing fucking cold (I love winter but I am SO OVER this cold), and some of it is just tiny niggling things, but… I am EXHAUSTED.
Maybe I should put off doing my taxes to next weekend. Otherwise I might actually set things on fire.
Yes. I am putting off doing my taxes, too. *fistbump*
Hey I’m gonna promote my girlfriend, her style, and her quilts/pillows here because she is beautiful and rad and her work is pretty amazing/trippy/badass. If interested in her works of art (why wouldn’t you be?), just know that it takes a while to make them and she has an MFA to pay off, so she charges appropriately. Some people wrongly expect her prices to be lower.
Tiny clay food update. I made Reese’s PB cups and Hostess cupcakes this week.
UGH, god I missed the part where it said clay and was ready to ask you HOW.
Those are adorable and I also, at first glance, thought they were real.
Those are adorable!
Toasties. I got my first notice of a grad school acceptance this week, and I AM STOKED. Plus, it was one of my favorites that I applied to!!!!!! Basically I have not been able to concentrate on anything at work since, as I am too busy poring over apartment listings and articles about the area.
Woot! Congratulations! Grad students of The Toast, unite!
Thank you! 🙂
AHHHH CONGRATULATIONS.
Thanks!!
Woooo!!! Waiting for the 1st one is so tough, the worst is over!
You are so right. I wasn’t expecting to hear from anyone for a few more weeks at the earliest, so it feels GREAT to get that initial waiting period over and done with!
Congratulations!!!
Thanks. 🙂 🙂
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
I am just Not Thinking about it, because waiting is awful and probably I have months of waiting left anyway, so.
Thank you, and I wish you luck!!!!
CONGRATULATIOOOONNSS!!!
I am currently in the waiting phase, but I somehow feel better knowing that you are (basically?) out of it!
WAHOO! 😀
Okay, I’m now officially bored at work. Can you toasties please recommend to me something pop-cultural?
My tastes range from pretty nerdy to very nerdy. With occasional mainstream bits and bobs. Also Pitch Perfect. So.
Also is anybody else excited about the most recent supernova? Just me? Okay, I’ll see myself out…
Get thee to laughterkey.tumblr.com.
Supernovae are always awesome. Fucking exploding star! Woo!
YOU GUYS: the boss just told me she wants me to meet with me at 3 to “discuss some things” and my armpits are soaked with stress sweat. I do (I think) a good job, try to stay clear from the drama – which is excessive – but people gossip and trash talk, especially when they get called out by the boss, and I’m worried it’s gonna be bad. Lord grant me the strength… I’ll probably live blog this whole afternoon to you all if you don’t mind.
…T minus 12 minutes until 3. i’ve advanced from sweaty pits to heart palpitations and nervous burps
Deep breaths. Stay calm. Report back.
This happened to me once and it turned out they wanted to tell me they were firing someone else and I’d have to take over their projects.
I second SmrtCookie. Deep breaths. You got this!
Sending good vibes your way! I’m sure it’s fine. Report back!
as suspected, my horrible coworkers threw me under the bus for petty stuff that they do much more (in quantity and quality) than I do. SO FUCKING PISSED SOMEONE GET ME A SHOT.
Boooooo. The only good news is it’s Friday afternoon so you only have to make it a little while longer before you can drink all the shots and not have to look at your coworkers for 2 whole days.
I just got a job! And I negotiated on salary (for the first time ever) and got exactly what I asked for. Now I feel like a sucker for not asking for more. Moral: ALWAYS negotiate and never believe ridiculous recruiters who imply that negotiating will put you in a bad light.
Also I am pretty stoked that I will no longer be the sole woman in an office of mostly Republican financiers!
I am so impressed. Did you start with “Is there room for negotiation?” Because that’s the only way I have ever thought of starting the conversation (I’ve never actually done it)
I started by telling the recruiter that I was flattered to have received the offer, and very excited at the prospect of working for the company, and to please convey that to the hiring manager. Then I mentioned that the hiring manager had pointed out how qualified I was, and how excited I was to bring my skills to the position. Then I asked if there was any flexibility in the offer.
The recruiter tried to act like there wasn’t, and that if I asked for more they would offer it to someone else(!). So I just emphasized that I was curious to see if there was any flexibility, and gave her what I thought was a high number as a target. And then the company just made more room in their budget, or the recruiter lowered their fee, or something, and I got it!
Negotiation 4 lyfe!
Guys, read this! It is the funniest thing I’ve seen on the Internet in a good long time, and takes an excellent Mallory-esque twist at the end. I don’t even like football. I was seriously losing it on the bus this morning. Reeeaaadd ittttt. http://www.sbnation.com/2014/1/30/5351052/breakin…
That was fun! and as a bonus, I opened it in a tab to read later and forgot where I got the link from. Instead I assumed it had come from a dudefriend who had commented on facebook about how “this is a realistic approximation of how the super bowl in NY will go down.” (dude is a Giants fan, so I was kind of confused)
I FREAKING LOVED THAT! It reminded me of Mallory too when I read it! Especially as a current Hawks fan who grew up in Broncos country.
Yes, yes, yes, yes. Everyone, read Jon Bois. Do yourself that favor!
Probably no one will see this, but were (slash are) any Toast people fans of Progressive Boink? (It still exists, though sparsely.)
Big happy hour already and I’m toasting on my phone.
So I am dealing with some crushes and stupid February and jonesing to make a mix CD but have no CDs or recipients. If I made a balling playlist would anyone be interested in a Spotify link?
I would!! I am facing a hellishly busy next few days/weeks at work and balling music to get through it would be great.
Yes!!
Yes! I’m so sick of all of my music, this would be great.
YES
Oh my goodness, I just got back from my eye appointment and I am totally into my eye doctor. Is it ethical to pursue anything with him? I could not stop flirting and he was definitely flirting back a bit.
Only 2 ethical choices here:
1. Contact office manager and formally ask to be removed from patient list. State clearly you will go to another eye doctor. Then contact the doc and ask for a date. No matter how doc responds, you must see another eye doc for medical attention.
2. Stop flirting and act like a patient as you continue to see this eye doc as a doctor.
I feel for you, though my above response is so dry. Both options are anxiety-inducing for me. Good luck. I promise support if you report back!
Ugh, I know these are the only ethical choices. It is such a bummer some times though. I have a follow up appointment next week, so hopefully I will make a decision before then.
I believe it is totally unethical for a doctor to treat a patient as a potential romantic interest, as in, that is the kind of thing providers can lose their licenses for.
If I were you I would just enjoy my eye appointments, giggly and enjoyable, and forget about it. If you are REALLY convinced this guy is Your Dream Man or whatever….get another eye doctor and follow RoseCamelia’s advice. Otherwise….sadly, no.
Definitely not dream man but someone to have fun with for sure. Definitely have to weigh my options before my follow up next week.
I’m finding the other responses to your question unduly discouraging. I say: there are a million eye doctors in the world and so many fewer dateable dudes. Ask him a) out and b) for a referral to a different doctor.
I think @laurel’s response is perfect.
This is a very good point.
toasties, this is going to sound silly, but I went to the (new) dentist for the first time in… let’s just say a while, after being incredibly anxious about the whole thing, and it WASN’T TERRIBLE. I don’t have any cavities! no shaming! nice office! HOORAY
also I have some other appointments scheduled in the next couple months and I am going to go to them and not chicken out. baby steps baby steps baby steps.
Right on! I got a flu shot this a.m. and had the same flush of “OK, I didn’t die, what else can I do to manifest adult goodness?” Of course in Toast years I am a dessicated pumpernickel bagel, but still, yay for health!
Mexican food for lunch, and scheduled for dinner tonight. There will be margaritas, oh yes.
I am Toast-sourcing recommendations for the following things:
1. Mascara
2. Audiobooks (commute from hell)
3. Cute plus-sized work-appropriate tops
I like Benefit They’re Real mascara. And I 100% always have to have waterproof because I am a crier and a smudger.
I have They’re Real, and I like the way it looks, but it smudges/runs every time I sweat/tear up. Is mine broken?
Nope (or if it is, so’s mine).
Covergirl makes a shockingly good mascara! Doesn’t flake or smudge on me, but isn’t impossible to get off either (I don’t get the waterproof kind but I’m sure it exists if you’re looking for that). I like the orange tube, not sure what it’s called. If you’re looking for higher end stuff, Benefit They’re Real is the shit but costs like $25 so I’ve been jealously hoarding the sample tube I got like 8 months ago (yeah, I’m gross, WHATEVER).
I don’t do audiobooks but my dyslexic book-obsessed boyfriend has been all about Librivox lately. I guess it’s people doing volunteer recordings of public domain stuff? So nothing new but lots of classics. I think he’s found the reading quality to be pretty good overall. Also, free.
Let me know if you learn about shirts that you can put boobs in, because I’ve got nothing on that front!
The orange one I think is Lash Blast? It’s my current drugstore favorite (my actual favorite being Benefit They’re Real)
Re: tops for boobs, I don’t have specific suggestions besides – not stiff cotton button ups! Learned that one the hard way, looking awkward throughout several college internships….
Seconding Covergirl for drugstore brands. I’ve not yet found a fancy brand of mascara that I like enough to pay fancy prices for.
Audio books – I mostly listen to them at night, and I listen mostly to kids’ books. Madeline L’Engle, and if possible, as read by her. The only one of the original 4 Murray books I can’t find read by her is Many Waters.
And for work appropriate, where on the spectrum from business -> casual?
Business-y. I’m a lawyer, so stuff that can go under blazers.
I have good luck with silk-type (although not actual silk because $$) blouses. Cap Hill Style always includes plus size suggestions in her posts, and she’s pretty conservative in taste, so that might be a start?
Mascara: I’m in love with Covergirl Lashblast. Cheap, great, doesn’t clump. I don’t have to use a eyelash curler either. I usually do 3-4 coats.
Audiobooks: Specific ones or an audiobook service??? I use my kindle and a text-to speech option for ebooks I have.
Plus size work clothes: http://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/2012/05/plus-sized-…
Lashblast! Yes. That stuff.
Lashblast is what I’ve been using! I like it but I’m exploring other options. Because maybe I need to pay way more. 😉
I have an Audible subscription, so anything that’s on there. I’ve listened to Middlemarch and Aisha Tyler’s book (read by her for extra awesome).
I love DIorShow. It requires its own budget line item but I think it’s worth it.
I have referred a bunch of people to librivox.org. The lady who reads the Scarlet Pimpernel is especially awesome.
Also good is podiobooks.com. For that one I recommend the Heaven series by Mur Lafferty, and the Traders Tales series by Nathan Lowell.
Audiobooks- Librivox.org is basically Project Gutenberg for audiobooks. All the books are volunteer read, but they are also free. The Pickwick Papers was the biggest surprise for me, listening-wise- the humor’s a lot more apparent in the audio for me. I really like Debra Lynn as a reader, too- she doesn’t have a conventional reader voice, but she really brings across the satire and comedy in a subtle way (she’s done a bunch of Wodehouse, which is where I found her as a reader first)
this comment is probably only relevant to admins, but any help would be gratefully accepted. i’ve set up a WordPress account, but when after i login it just refreshes the Toast article i was on and still makes me post as a guest. am i doing The Internet wrong? i’m probably doing The Internet wrong.
I’m sorry I can’t solve this–Wordpress and Intense Debate have a weird, Shining-type relationship that won’t let me change my gravatar here (it should be the Lisa Simpson postage stamp, not this damn donkey)–but I wish us both separation of church, state, Toast, and threads. I’m not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save us, Superman!
I have that problem too. And then when I am logged in it tells me I have expired and need to try again (and doesn’t stop even if I log out and log back in). I think it might just happen with some computers? I’m not sure but I just sign in as anonymous all the time now (weirdly, I can login on my phone but it’s hard to read there).
Was it someone here who recommended Uniqlo Ultra Stretch jeans? Could’ve been the Hairpin, maybe. ANYWAY, I went to a Uniqlo store when I visited NYC this weekend and tried some on and I’m pretty sure they are made by actual witches. It is like wearing pajamas that are also work-appropriate and look AWESOME. The best part is that they will hem any of their pants in the store FOR FREE WHAT. This is the best news for my stupidly short legs since pretty much ever. Also they come in a million fun colors! JEANS WOOOOOO
YES they are the best!! Wearing some rust-colored ones right now.
WAIT REALLY? They hem for free? As a fellow shorty, I am shocked but pleased. (And omg the website says the colored ones are on sale right now for $19.90!)
YES I couldn’t believe it either! It doesn’t look like you can do it through their website though, I think you have to go to an actual store.
I need flirting advice! I am super, duper bad at it. There is a little family-run Italian place right near my office that I eat at regularly, and there is a cute guy who works there. He’s the son of the family and he is always very nice to everyone, but I think he is extra nice to me? It’s so hard to tell! Last week when I was picking up lunch, he touched my arm two different times.
This week we had a ton of people come in for meetings, and I recommended they go eat at this place and say hello from me. They went on Tuesday and reported that he said hello back. Then on Wednesday I went myself to pick up lunch, and he gave me mine on the house. Then on Thursday a group went back for lunch and reported that he said I could put all of their meals on my frequent-buyer punchcard thing.
So this is a thing, right? I think what needs to be done is to go there after work, have a beer, and invite the guy to join me if he has time. Right? I am trying to screw up the nerve to do that. Any other ideas, Toasties?
I really want to be wrong. But you describe the same level of attention I get from staff at my regular restaurants. I wear a wedding band and rarely find myself the object of pursuit. I get the same attention you describe, though, because I bring so much business to their restaurant, through my office and personal contacts. Yes, they touch my arm. Yes, they flirt a little. Anything to keep me happy and to keep me sending them more business. Sorry.
Yeah, I know you might be right. 🙁 I had a friend go eat there by herself and then again with me and she said he was markedly more friendly to me. But you still might be right. Augh!
I gotta be honest though too, the food is SO good that I am probably too chicken to be forward enough to be embarrassed if I’m wrong. He’s cute but I’m not willing to give up eating there if it doesn’t go well!
Another possible strategy: Go in with a few friends and mention to him that you’re all going to probably grab a drink later and does he want to come with? That way it’s a pretty low-risk situation–it’s not “I want to date you” so much as “You’re cool, maybe you would fit in with my friend group.” If he’s interested in you, he can take you up on it, and if he’s not, it doesn’t seem as obvious on your part.
Yes! A group situation is much lower risk. This seems like a workable plan to me.
That sounds like a good plan! Do it and let us know how it goes!
One thing I’m trying to remember in my own life is that it’s nice to hear someone likes you. If I let someone know I think they’re cute they probably enjoy hearing it even if they don’t feel the same about me. Plus, if he’s flirty with regulars and he’s cute then he’s probably been invited for drinks a bunch and won’t think it’s any big thing. I guess what I’m saying is just go for it. If he doesn’t take you up on it don’t let it bug you because he’s probably just flattered, so basically more free lunches for you either way. Win.
Aauuuughhhhhh.
I have just realized that this is the first spring I have not been in school since before kindergarten. Probably this is why I have been feeling so directionless and stagnant? I just need to get into grad school and I can continue to avoid reality for another few years.
Yesterday was my birthday, and after a couple years of practice, I think I am getting the hang of not building it up in order to avoid any let down. After an incredibly boring day at work, we had the most amazing fish & chips ever, we watched some Archer and ate the little rainbow mason jar cakes my wife baked for me. All in all, a pretty nice day.
I have been spending the spare time between work and fanfiction rewatching bits of this season of Sherlock, and I am just so happy. If you do not want to talk about how close we are to a Johnlock canon, do not talk to me at all.
Happy birthday! Amazing fish and chips and rainbow cakes sound like a great way to celebrate.
It really was.
Thank you!
I was having a not-awesome day, and then I looked out the window and saw a cute guy waiting to cross the street and dancing just a liiiiiiittle bit while mouthing the words to the song in his head. The only way that could have been more adorable is maybe if he had a puppy with him. Maybe.
I love seeing little moments like that when people are just purely happy and don’t know anyone is watching.
Are there any folks from here in Austin? There should probably be drinking.
I am! I think Onymous is too. I’m definitely game for plans of many sorts.
I just explained muggle quidditch to my boss. It was hilarious.
I’ve come to the realization that I need to go to a psychiatrist soon and get back on treatment for my ADHD. Which is a positive step, but I’ve been off meds for about six years, and managing okay. And now it feels like a step backwards, but I really think it would help. Why is realizing you should ask for help so hard? Maybe I just think they’ll dismiss me. 🙁
If it helps you, it’s not a step backwards. Realizing you need help and taking the first step to get it are always the hardest – I don’t know why, but at least you know things will be better from here.
Anyone who dismisses you is not worthy of your attention. Call them an asshole (in your mind or out loud) then give them no further thought. Keep trying doctors until you get one that feels right. You deserve the best.
It is scary to ask for help, and it’s okay to feel that difficulty. Don’t let it hold you back though. It’s not a step backwards to know what you need and go out and get it– it’s caring for yourself.
My parents are in their 60s and it looks like they are headed for divorce. I know you’re not supposed to pick sides, but I’m on my mom’s side. I feel so bad for her because she has struggled with this decision due to guilt (largely from her upbringing and religion). They also will have difficulty being able to afford to maintain separate households, so my mom will lose her first real house she owned for nearly 30 years and end up in some crappy, overpriced, tiny apartment. She’s having trouble with my brother, as well. He just turned 18 and we discovered him smoking (so obviously he’s been doing it while underage). He is aggressive, nasty, contributes nothing and everything is met with “But I’m 18!” It is difficult for me to keep my mouth shut around both of these men, but I know it wouldn’t do any good and I don’t want to upset my mom further.
Any suggestions for books or groups or blogs for adult children of divorcing parents? I am expecting to be fully estranged from my father once this is over (and I’m okay/happy about that), but it would be good to get some advice on how to just deal without losing my own mind before the process is finalized.
No suggestions, really, just sympathy. I also watched my parents go through a divorce relatively late in their lives and then deal with the financial fallout and instability (which continues to be ongoing). It’s tough. Do your best to take care of yourself and give yourself a break from their problems when you need to!
No good resources, but my sympathies. I was in my mid 20s when my parents divorced (they were both at fault, terribly, terribly at fault…) and it was super sucky at the time, but after a year or two, everything was just so much better. And I mean everything! I had never really realized how unhappy they were, and so never realized I shouldn’t be using them for a relationship model – when I did finally realize that, I was able to have adult human relationships, and it has been lovely. They are both happier now, and they get along great (I realize this does not happen with everyone, but maybe!).
I think when you are an older child watching your parents divorce, it’s less a question of knowing that it’s not your fault, and more an issue of realizing that you can’t help. They have to do it themselves, and you can’t be your mom’s primary support. If they try to confide in you, you have to cut them off, or you might very well lose your mind…
Somebody help me figure out how to drink not like a 17-year-old! I’ve never really managed to progress beyond either “wine” or “put some liquor in this juice and then drink it.” I’m too far out of college for this! Anybody have any good drink recipes that I can make with limited culinary talents/money? I prefer gin and vodka but will entertain other ideas.
Definitely try new stuff. But don’t be afraid to own your preferences. After decades of drinking, everyone who knows me affirms that I just don’t like mixed drinks. I always have wine or bourbon or beer. It’s OK to enjoy one intense flavor at a time, if that’s the way you roll!
Gin and tonics. Simple recipe–usually just gin, tonic, and lime–and you will feel very sophisticated drinking it. I like how fresh-tasting they are.
A gin and tonic is easy, tasty, and classy. I take a highball glass (anything between 8 ounces and 12 ounces works great for this, because then you don’t have to worry about weakening your drink too much) and pour in two shots of gin, half a shot of lime juice, a few ice cubes and then fill with tonic water (I use diet tonic water because I am like that, but you do not have to!) Tonic is pretty cheap and so is lime juice.
If you want to invest in a cheap shaker or are more confident than me and just feel like pouring it into a glass and stirring, a vodka or gin gimlet is an option. Gin or vodka, 4 parts to 1 part Rose’s sweetened lime juice. Adjust the ratio to your preference. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gimlet_(cocktail)
There are a TON of different gins out there and a bunch (less than a ton, but more than one!) of fancy tonics – maybe start trying new combos? It’s not cheap BUT as a nice splurge: I find Hendricks Gin and Fevertree Tonic water to be a perfect combination (but, interestingly, Hendricks and Q tonic – not as nice, and Fevertree and 209 Gin? Also not great.)
For some reason I find that people are really impressed when I order Crown (or Jack) and Coke or Seven and 7. To me it’s just booze + soda but apparently these are masculine drinks? IDK.
I also love gin martinis. I do a little bit of vermouth swirled around the glass and then pour what doesn’t stick back into the bottle, then shake 2 shots of gin with some ice and pour just the gin into the glass. Olives and a dash of olive juice optional.
Gin and tonic is also great, but if I’m home and feeling lazy I do gin and lime flavored seltzer. No added calories, no “darn! I don’t have a lime.”
One of my favorite cocktails is the Moscow Mule, very simple, totally hip right now: ice, vodka, ginger beer (beer! not ale, available in the grocery store usually in glass bottles), and half a lime or so’s worth of fresh lime juice. So fresh and delicious.
My other at-home drinking tip is to find a liqueur you like such as Chambord (raspberry) or St. Germain (elderflower) and just add a bit to the soda/juice+liquor combos you already enjoy. You will feel hella fancy. Gin and sprite? Sad college drink. Gin and sprite and splash of Chambord? Classy signature cocktail! St. Germain is my favorite fwiw, I put it in everything from mimosas to straight whiskey.
Any ideas on how to find legit resources for creating a resume after a very long absence from the workplace? I stopped working 10 years ago because I was knocked up and couldn’t get any jobs that paid more than daycare cost. Then I went back to school, got my B.A. about a year ago, and promptly moved across the country so I lost all my leads and contacts. I applied for tons of stuff but never once got called. I’m ready to try again, but I am sure my resume needs major help and I have no idea how to go about this whole process.
Second time in this thread that I will plug Ask a Manager. She has a TON of great advice about cover letters, resumes, general workplace etiquette, and a lot more.
http://www.askamanager.org/
I’d read through the posts tagged “resume” http://www.askamanager.org/category/resumes
as well as the cover letter section (which I found most helpful.) http://www.askamanager.org/category/cover-letters
Thank you! There is a great deal of information online, but it can be tough to know what is actually good advice.
I second Ask A Manager and recommend her ebook, too. The blog is a great read (and gets questions about some truly bizarre coworkers) but the ebook has very condensed information about everything related to job-seeking specifically.
I made a group on Scribophile.com at http://www.scribophile.com/groups/toasties/ if any of you are interested. It’s a site that is good for critiques on rough drafts and showing off writing. I am not good at selling things so… Come join us if you please!
So some dude I’d rated like a 3 or 4 or whatever on Quickmatch on OKCupid took the time to message me to say, “Thank you for the rating, but based on your questions I think we aren’t a match. Good luck in your search!” Which…what? Really? Like he took the time to message me about how I…shouldn’t message him? Does he just not understand how Quickmatch works? You just look at pictures and profile basics and assign a star rating. It’s silly but I’m actually a little offended, and also kind of want to reply to give him a heads up that pre-emptively rejecting in such a way isn’t really necessary given the numbers game that is OKC. Did he think he was doing me a favor? Clearly I’m overthinking this but truly, I find it so strange.
I can see why you would read it like that, but honestly I read that as “Wow, a follow up even when you didn’t message him and it’s not a match? That is one conscientious dude.”
I think a lot of people sort of regard rating someone on OKC (or equivalent sites) without messaging them as being coy, or soliciting a message. An “I think you’re cute but I’d rather you initiate” sort of gesture.
I mean it’s either that or “You look pretty cool but I’m not into you”, which, why bother? I don’t know anyone who actually takes public ratings into account on these sites when vetting people. At least it doesn’t seem like the system is being used as a post-date scoring system or whatever.
Hi Toasties–I am working on not being a lurker because I’m gearing up to eventually maybe go to the next meetup in NYC? I really need to meet some new people after moving here three months ago and you guys all seem so coooool.
QUESTION: Has anybody ever tried Whole 30? I really need to change some of my eating patterns (ALL the sugar and carbs, especially in winter) and am thinking of trying it (highly modified cause I don’t eat meat), and would be interested to hear some experiences. I’m not interested in losing weight, but it would be great (or terrible, idk) to stop diving face-first into a plate of croissants every day after work.
Hi Toasties–I am working on not being a lurker because I’m gearing up to eventually maybe go to the next meetup in NYC? I really need to meet some new people after moving here three months ago and you guys all seem so coooool.
Come to the meetup! The next one is Feb 28 at RPM bar (266 broome). The bookclub (book is the goldfinch) starts at 7 and the meetup around 8. Even if you haven’t read the book I would come to that part, it’s early so there is less people and easier to get into things if, like me, you’re shy around strangers.
If it helps, like 6 new people came to the one last night and they were all awesome, so, that’s positive!
Whoops, weird double-post! I definitely will, I have actually read the Goldfinch and liked it/have lots of feelings on it, so that sounds absolutely lovely. Thanks for the encouragement 🙂
LOVE Sherwood Smith. I also adore her completely toss-off 'fluffy romance about a princess in a fantasy world' books, they're exactly what I need when I'm looking for pure fun (A Posse of Princesses and The Trouble with Kings).
Muddle some cucumber slices in the bottom of your Tom Collins for extra goodness- very tasty.
Thanks! I think it might have been the NPR station itself, since it's back to normal now on my radio after maybe 5 days of fritz. Mysterious!