This is a meal and a drink in one. This is an object that contains multitudes.
This is rosemary infused vodka, Vya dry vermouth & lamb consommé. There are sweet pickled onions in it. They’re beautiful.
At first it tastes like lamb. And then like cold chicken broth that you have to finish because your mom made it for you and you’re missing school and are actually feeling miserable enough that you’ll take any cure.
In other words, it tastes like home. You may start to weep as you get into your second one. The rosemary scent, so effervescent, reminds you of all the drinks gone by. You eat an onion. And just like that you’re a grown-up. Sitting at a bar with a dear friend. Contemplating the absurdity of a world that serves lamb consommé cocktails.
Revel in the moment, Toasties. Tell us some wonderful stories of your everyday.
Tags: cocktail hour, open thread, the bartender, the bartender always puts two spaces after a period as an act of civil disobedience and then mallory makes me change it
LADIES! I just finished taking the CA bar! It was exhausting, and I might have had an out of body experience from stress on the second day, but now i’m doooooooone!!!
YAY!!
Congrats!!
WOOOOOO Congrats and best wishes!
Yay!
Congrats, you are awesome!
Best of luck! Enjoy the relief of being DONE with it.
Best news, except for when you tell us you passed. YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Related! Anyone have recommendations for last min vacays accessible by car from LA? So far I’m thinking Palm Springs but it might be fun to try something new 🙂
is it just for the weekend? because 1. CARMEL if you like pretending to be rich, 2. CATALINA if you like awesome islands, 3. Joshua Tree if you are a hardened outdoorswoman, 4. PASO ROBLES if you like wine country and bucolic-ness, 5. OJAI if you like wine country and bucolic-ness but don’t want to drive very far.
Oh these are great! That description of Carmel is EXACTLY what it is +50pts. I forgot about Catalina! I have never been mistaken for outdoorsy and might die in Joshua Tree and I was in Paso recently but OJAI sounds like something to consider… Thanks!
But if you go to Carmel you could go over to Monterey and see “Dad’s Porn Stash” at the Paperwing Theatre. http://www.paperwing.com/shows/dads-porn-stash
I hear it is excellent! OK, my sister, who is in it, says it is great.
Maybe not a full day thing but I loooove going on the Stone Brewery tour. Great food and great beer tastings and then you can putt putt around San Diego?
I looooove Stone Brewery 🙂 And SD in general. Ive been wanting to do the safari park though!
I like the Wild Animal Park, but I’m also a sucker for the zoo / Balboa Park in general.
wait are they different things? which one has the animals running around?
Yes, they’re 2 different parks. (I didn’t realize they changed the name to Safari Park! I grew up going to the Wild Animal Park, I can’t deal with change.) The Wild Animal Park is in Escondido, or north county San Diego, and it’s huge. They’ve replicated a safari type arid atmosphere so the animals are all running around on the pseudo-Serengeti. To see them you take a tram through the park. It’s cool, but you don’t get to see them up very close. They have an awesome lion exhibit though, which, if you’re lucky the lions will be around the viewing glass. There’s also a cool condor area, and giraffe feeding (!) if you go at the right time. Allegedly, they have a tiger that I’ve never seen in my life.
I grew up going to both, and I slightly prefer the zoo because it replicates more forest-y environments and is in the central part of SD. It’s in Balboa Park which is right by downtown, and is also next to a bunch of museums, botanical gardens, etc. I think it’s truly beautiful. For the most part the animals are not caged up, but in smaller recreations of their natural habitat. E.g., there’s an Ituri Forest area that has moneys, otters, and banana trees like you would find in the actual Ituri Forest. Also, hippos. Hippos are actually kind of scary.
Anyway, I think that you can’t go wrong with either (and if you can, do both! but not on the same day) and it depends on what kind of animals / environments you want to see. No matter what you’ll have fun if you go!
Oh and the zoo has a “Skyfari” which is a like a ski lift that goes over the whole part and you get a beautiful view of the park and the city.
Point 1: I move tomorrow! YAY!
Point 2: I find out if I have an awesome new job today! YAY!
Point 3: I still have an ass-ton of shit to finish packing, and I’m working until midnight! BOOOOOOO! Possible to pull an all-nighter, on 4 hours sleep from the night before? Maybe? I can probably at least make it until 3AM, take a 3-4 hour nap and start up again. And then, wonderful, fabulous, new life!
I hate packing! Sending you my commiseration vibes!
Starting off a wonderful fabulous new life in a haze of sleep deprivation can make everything seem extra magical! (Coming from someone who can’t ever sleep before major life changes.) Crossing my fingers for you and your awesome new job!
I’m staring at my phone, and willing it to ring. I NEEDS to know, because putting in my 2 weeks notice here would make my day just so much better.
Did it ring??? Happy moving day / Bon courage!!!!
So excited for the weekend. This week was unnecessarily long and stupid in many ways, but weirdly rewarding in others.
I came out to my parents as being in an open marriage. I just couldn’t keep it a secret any longer, because my boyfriend is too amazing to not talk about him. It went about as well as I could expect. They weren’t ecstatic, but they did seem at least neutral about the news.
I’m pretty nervous still about telling my brothers this weekend. I genuinely don’t know how they’ll react.
Congratulations!
Congrats and good luck! (It really is hard to decide if it’s more stressful telling people when you know they’ll react badly, because then you can prepare what you’re going to say/where you’re going for drinks afterward, and telling people when you have literally no idea what their feelings are on the subject)
I think my middle brother is the one I’m most worried about, as he tends to just vaguely poopoo anything I am into, unless he was the one who told me about it to begin with.
My oldest brother is more definitely going to both disapprove and not care that much probably.
So confusing.
Hello toasties, I would love to hear encouraging stories of post-break-up dating, sleeping around, and lighthearted making out. I’m three weeks into my singlehood now, and so far it’s been a lot of tea-drinking, Proust, and splendid solitude, all of which have really helped! But I feel ready to dip a toe into the love waters again, not for anything serious yet, I think, but just in hopes of bringing a spring back into my step. So please shower me with encouraging tales to help me believe that I really will kiss someone again!
My best college friend got dumped by her total juicebox of a boyfriend a couple months ago and has recently started lightheartedly boning a friend of a friend and is just totally delighted with herself. It is definitely possible!
It’s possible! It maybe took me a lot longer than I would have liked, but one day, I came back from a trip home with (this is going to sound corny) the feeling of possibility, and then I met a cute guy while watching a sports game with friends! I told him upfront that I wasn’t looking for anything serious, and we’ve gone on a few dates and it’s been easy / fun / self-confidence boosting. I’ll probably let it fizzle out sometime soon b/c I’m not that into him, but it’s been a nice note of encouragement for me.
If you’re open to online dating, I think that can also be a source of random, hopefully fun, encounters.
I went through a horrendous breakup about a year ago, and since then have briefly dated/hooked up with an OK Cupid guy, had a fling of sorts with my high school ex, and slept with two friends. It’s been great. Now I’m thinking I might finally be ready for an actual relationship.
I think OKC is great for post-breakup, because it’s so low-stakes. Look at pictures of cute people, write flirty messages, go out with them if you want. Or not. And I think a bad date with a total stranger is so much easier to laugh off than a bad date with a friend of a friend.
This is encouraging to hear! I was hesitant to get back in the OkC saddle, but I think you are right that it could be a nice way to ease back in.
Totally achievable! I’m not saying this is for everyone, but after being dumped by my first husband, and going through a tea and Austen phase, I discovered that some NSA romps with friends was a great curative, and didn’t feel too serious or leave me with a heavy heart. 10 years later I’m still friends with those friends-turned-lovers, and in retrospect they were the perfect training wheels to get me back in the <metaphor about relationships and bike riding that isn’t weird>. Best of luck.
Totally possible, highly recommended! I got over my last big breakup with a friend who lives in another city I was visiting for a weekend–very NSA, very sweet and fun.
OMG you are in for such a treat! You get to have sex with NEW PEOPLE! Admittedly this is not always great. But sometimes it is! And the novelty, when you have been in a LTR for a while, is so much fun. You can explore new bodies, get introduced to new stuff. After my last breakup, I wasn’t ready to date for months, and then it took a while longer to find someone I actually wanted to have sex with. When I finally did, oh my god. I think I was high for 3 days.
Also, how fun is it to see other peoples’ apartments? I may be weird that that was one of my favorite parts about dating. 🙂
Um, where can I get this drink?
I spent all of last Sunday drinking cocktails. The Old Maid was my favorite; it tastes like spring.
I’m going to the dentist in 45 minutes. I am very nervous because I haven’t been since two thousand *mumblemumble*. Who wants to place bets on how many cavities I have?
If you have tooth pain, 7 cavities.
If you do not have tooth pain, 3 cavities.
I also did not go to the dentist for a long long time, and I somehow only had about 7 cavities when I finally went. About 1 for every year I did not go.
I lucked into having a super gorgeous super nice dentist that I kind of have a crush on, when I finally went. I really truly love her. I think she may be developing a misandrist dental empire, because only women work there.
No tooth pain! But other related info: I have sealants from many years ago, and all of my wisdom teeth came in while I was in high school and are still present.
If your wisdom teeth were a problem, you’d have pain from them, so, go forth and be wise!
Also perhaps you can take comfort in / feel superior to my recent dental visit, in which it was discovered that I have twelve cavities, after having been away from the dentist for six entire months. Thanks, fetus! Anyway, you’re probably better off than me!
This is the stuff of nightmares.
I have all my wisdom teeth, too. And, while they technically fit in my mouth, I cannot correctly take care of them, so now that the cavities are taken care of, I am getting them out this year.
I’m kind of freaked out about losing them, because they’ve been there for so so long, I’m used to having a ton of teeth, and I don’t get how other people don’t have a ton of teeth.
Your wisdom teeth might or might not be a problem.
Mine didn’t hurt, and I never really had problems with the wisdom teeth themselves, but it turned out one of them was trapping food particles against the tooth next to it and that caused problems. So it’s possible that you’ll have to deal with them even if they seem fine. But maybe not! Maybe yours are better than mine were.
But the important bit is, if I’d dealt with them when I should have, then the other tooth would be in better shape now. So good work you, going to the dentist without the motivation of tooth pain! Well done! I’m impressed!
Misandrist dental empire? That’s awesome. I would go.
I go to a dental amazon paradise as well! Expensive as all get-out, but worth it just to hear the gloves snapping on and off.
as a fellow dentist avoider – good luck! I had my first cleaning in… 5 1/2 years last month, and it was surprisingly not-bad. So I’m hoping the same for you.
also I am going to be an optimist and say ZERO CAVITIES.
I’ll be optimistic, too. ZERO!
Have you been flossing? I went to the dentist for the first time in mumblemumble years yesterday, also expecting catastrophe. But I’ve been flossing because of my not-going-to-the-dentist guilt, and I had nary a cavity.
Also, while I was in the waiting room, some trainer-bros from the fitness club next door came by to drum up business/flirt with the hygienists, and it filled my heart with glee.
I recently went to the dentist after a long absence and I had no cavities! But I did have a cracked tooth from grinding my teeth. My dentist recommended yoga. Anyway I hope you also have no cavities and I doubly hope you don’t have a cracked tooth from being a stress head.
Aw, even if you do have a bunch of cavities, don’t beat yourself up! I had great teeth growing up – Ma and Pa Jinx had no dental care as kids and as such have had a LOT of major dental problems, so they were diligent about getting Bro Jinx and I good care – went 2 or 3 years in my 20’s without a dentist because broke and uninsured and when I started going again had like 7 or 8 cavities needing filling over a 2 year period. I’ve had a couple more since then, though I don’t know exactly how many since I had to have some fillings redone (because of some crap dental work from that 1st guy who found cavities). Current dentist is awesome and told me not to feel bad because a) sometimes this just happens no matter how careful you are and b) he’s been seeing it a lot in people in our generation – I also had sealants done as a kid and when they wore off, that’s when I had a whole bunch of cavities all at once. Either they’d been there UNDER the sealant or the sealant weakened something or…I dunno, but dentist suspects there’s a link.
Anyway, good luck!
Only 2 small cavities! I’m getting them filled next week. My wisdom teeth live to see another day!
Huzzah your teeth! Hope the fillings goes easy! I went in for what I though would be a minor thing Wednesday (after months of dental implants/crowns/assorted nonsense) and got told “oh, actually you have a cavity in the front”. ARGH. Fortunately they fixed it fast and my boss was OK with me crawling home and taking the rest of the day off (since I couldn’t really, you know, talk). And the hygenist said nice things about my haircut.
This morning I dreamed that I was being hunted by tigers in an abandoned building. I blame the cat article from yesterday. Thanks, NICOLE. I also had some incredibly disturbing dreams that I’d rather not go into, but on which I blame my best friend for showing me the first season of Hannibal. Thanks, MEG. Still planning to watch the second season premiere tonight, though.
Then I whanged my wrist against the corner of an open drawer while getting dressed and it DREW BLOOD. And yet, I’m in a much better mood today than I was yesterday, which should give you some idea about yesterday.
Oh, and! I got the new Professor Layton game! Who else is playing it?
I would be, if I weren’t still at work! Stupid gainful employment.
Any idea when Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright is coming out for North America? All I can find are release dates for Europe and Australia, it’s like Nintendo’s leaving us out on purpose.
Yup, it’s coming out in four weeks, on March 28. I am falling all over myself with excitement. (I am kind of a giant fan of Ace Attorney.)
Wait a minute…I just checked and couldn’t find where I read that. I was positive that was the NA release date – I’ma look around some more.
Yeah, wikipedia says March 28 for Europe and March 29 for Australia, but NA is just “2014”… I’d think it’d be released at around the same time, it’s just weird that there doesn’t seem to be any official statement about it.
I’m so impatient, it’s been so long since I first heard about it and they keep releasing Layton/AA games in the meantime, but I guess it took a while for them to decide there was enough interest in the crossover to be worth localizing.
I am not playing Professor Layton, because I really didn’t like the first one. BUT I am playing Phoenix Wright (and also still Bravely Default a bit.)
YAAAAAAAAAAY YOU’RE PLAYING PHOENIX WRIGHT. I hope the extreme silliness doesn’t put you off too much; the game takes a couple cases to find its footing, but then it (and the series as a whole) just gets better and better. It does stay silly though.
I replayed the Professor Layton games sometime after finishing the last one that came out, and could not believe how much better each game is than the one before it. It’s most obvious in the interface and types of puzzles (not so much the plots; those are still dumb), but I even like Layton and Luke in the last two, whereas in the first three I actively disliked them. This is not me telling you to give it another chance, more just agreeing that the first had a lot of room for improvement.
Hmmm, I might try the second one if the puzzles get better, or one of the other later ones if I can pick it up used. I hated the plot because it was super dumb, but mostly what annoyed me was the fact that the hints on the few puzzles that stumped me were really really bad. Just really inconsistent level of challenge, and then the hints just made me ANGRY.
WAIT I CAN JUST GET THEM FROM THE LIBRARY THIS IS PERFECT
That drink sounds amazing. I love these weird, savory type cocktails that are in fashion now. Not quite lamb consomme, but I’m gonna make a bunch of shiitake infused scotch based drinks for the Hannibal S2 premiere tonight WHICH I AM SO EXCITED FOR OMG
HANNIBAL!!!! So excited.
Ahhh I’ve started hearing great things about Hannibal (usually in relation to “if you like True Detective…”). HOW good is it?? Should I totally just skip S1, or should I start from the beginning?
Oh start from the beginning NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. Not only for plot and emotional weight but because it’s beautiful.
I’m the other way around — a lot of people have recommended I watch True Detective because I like Hannibal. From what I gather they’re close enough in terms of quality and subject matter to complement each other well, despite (or because of) being complete opposites in terms of style.
Yeah, I’m gonna echo vmartinipie — you definitely need to start from the beginning. Even though we already know how this will eventually end up, I don’t think the gravity of the situation will be quite as clear if you don’t watch S1. The first few episodes of the season are a little weaker, in my opinion, but the last half is among the best TV I’ve ever watched.
I am SO excited for Hannibal. And am fully prepared to be watching through my fingers tonight if this season is anything like last.
SO READY YET UNPREPARED. And Hannibal would totally make human-based savory cocktails. Ugh I just gave myself the heebs!
but also an odd craving
I have literally never heard of this show, but can I come for the cocktails? Those sound great!
yo, a femslash enthusiast, is femslash fridays coming back?
the week has been good. i bought tickets to st. vincent, and the national, and i picked up my copy of the new lorrie moore collection of short stories, and it’s raining which means i can listen to “only happy when it rains” while waiting for the bus and imagine being as cool as shirley manson.
LIVE EVERY DAY LIKE IT’S FEMSLASH FRIDAY
this is my favorite
ugh i only took two weeks off YOU MONSTERS
(yes next week is going to have some badass illustrations)
we’re just monsters that love femslash.
(yessss yayyyy)
yes more femslash please! the hiatus made me watch “but I’m a cheerleader” and “lost and delirious” which… was not a bad thing.
it made the rest of us watch vampire academy and the new episode of Arrow which.
Place socially unacceptable sounds here.
Such a good week! The new Lorrie Moore and new St. Vincent and Ask a Clean Person book! Mediaaaaaaa!
I had a wonderful moment of mansplaining this week. On Monday, I took Jolie Kerr’s new book to a bar and read while I was waiting for a friend to show up. A 57-year-old man named Joseph sat next to me and insisted on talking, and I know I could have just not talked but I also can never pass up an opportunity to see what these people will say when encouraged.
Anyway, it came up that I am half-Indian (“What’s your name?” “Jaya” “Jael?” “Sure” “Where’s that from?”), and he starts going on and on about how India is so beautiful and has suffered more than the Jews during the Holocaust (I’m unsure as to what stats he’s using for this), and that Indian weddings are just the most gorgeous things. I ask if he’s ever been to India and he says he’s never left the country, and I start talking about my cousin’s Indian wedding and he interrupts me to let me know he lives on the same block as some Indian people so he knows all about it.
Start your adventure today: read alone in a bar.
Jaya! I read your Serious Eats article on Sarah Lohman yesterday. Thank you so much – I spent all yesterday browsing the back pages of her blog and today I have been listening to the MSG podcasts. I wish I had known that historical gastronomist was a job ten years ago when I had no idea what to do with my history degrees. So fascinating!
Thank you! I know, she seriously has my dream job.
Did he lecture you on Hindu deities? I would have guessed that he would start to lecture you on Hindu deities.
Because India=Hindu, right?
Oh man I totally thought he was going to condescend to you for reading a book about cleaning BUT THEN IT WAS WORSE
AHHHHHH the moment I saw “a man insisted on talking” I figured it would end this way. Interrupting someone to share all your opinions with them is a straight line to mansplaining.
On another note, how is the book? I ordered it and it’s supposed to be waiting for me when I get home and I’m so excited to clean all the things.
It’s awesome! It really makes me want to clean my whole house, but in a really fun way. I just feels like hanging out with Jolie while constantly remembering you need to buy ammonia.
Start your adventure today: Be a woman in public.
That’s just next-level mansplaining! What a horrible intrusion, I am sorry.
I’ve started a new tradition of solo bar-reading on Friday nights and it’s one of the things I look forward to all week. I’ve brought my boyfriend with me for the last two weeks, and he is great and respectful and we don’t talk we just drink wine and read.
Where did you find a partner like this who will let you read in silence? I am deeply jealous.
So, after a February of “let’s have snow twice a week for most of a month”, February is finally leaving…and March is about to dump another huge snowstorm on us Sunday night/Monday morning. So, with that in mind, I have a poll question for Toasties: Do you hate winter?
Possible answers:
a) Yes, and is there someone new in charge? Because last year’s Winter was rather nice, but it seems like that Winter was fired, and I don’t like the new guy who’s doing it.
b) I hate it SO MUCH! FLAMES! ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE!
c) Yes, and do you know where Winter lives? My local chapter of the Pitchfork and Torches Society has scheduled some business with Winter, but we’re lacking the address.
d) Yes, and I called Mother Nature to complain, and she was all, “It’s practically March, you’ve lived with it this long, Spring will be here soon enough, blah blah whatever” and now I hate Mother Nature too.
All of the above. This is my first full winter back in the midwest after spending most of the last four in NY, and it just figures that it’s an especially bad one. I got welcomed back with regular below-zero highs and feet of snow. So much snow. I keep having to remind myself it isn’t normally like this (as I rock back and forth wrapped in blankets huddled in bed).
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
also all of the above
I’m sort of D. Even though it’s been particularly cold and snowy this year, I always get tired of winter. I think it’s the lack of daylight.
(Whispering). I actually sort of like it? I hate being freezing when I walk outside, and black ice is scary, but I’m from the south, and even after 12 years in Yankee territory, more or less, I think big snow storms are kind of romantic and cozy. Of course, I’ve also always been a renter in an apt. where the landlord handles plowing, salting, and most shoveling, and my little stick shift Focus is a champ, so I’ve gotten off pretty lucky. But it’s so quiet and lovely. Plus, for me, Sunday night storm = MetroNorth delays (probably) = solid excuse to work from home with no side-eye treatment. So, um. Yeah.
Spotted on yesterday’s commute: misandrist response graffiti making fun of MRAs! Wouldn’t be surprised if this was the work of a well-prepared Toronto Toastie …
Why does it feel like Canada is an MRA stronghold? I mean, I realize they are everywhere (even in the comment sections of articles about cat bites) but for some reason I keep hearing about/seeing Canadian MRA stuff. Including in “Maclean’s” letters to the editors, but I think that’s because Maclean’s will publish anything for a laugh/angry response from normal people (see: Barbara Amiel).
I have no idea / am not sure I feel it is any more of a stronghold than the rest of North America. But homg, Maclean’s. I did a fact-checking assignment in journalism school on one of their articles (about HPV vaccines) and it was so wrong and therefore irresponsible that I lost a ton of respect for the whole magazine.
Delightful!
Femslash Enthusiast! I welcome you with open arms.
Beautiful moments of the every day…hmm. I was driving in to work this morning, on a cold but sunny day with very little traffic, and a couple of good songs had just come on the radio (I can’t remember which ones). And it was like something bloomed in my mind; like I knew everything was going to turn out all right in the end, that my little humble hopes were going to turn their face to the sun and slowly, steadily grow; that /things are going to be OK/. It was one of those moments where you know life is vicious and sweet and heartbreaking and you still love being in it and of it. That feeling’s almost faded, but I can still feel it back there, quietly glowing.
Anyhow. That’s horribly cliched, but it was a great feeling, and if I could I would spread it around to every singe one of you like Oprah handing out new cars.
Those moments are my favorite.
Toasties, I need your expertise.
I have just started dating a dude, and I feel like we need to have a talk about our expectations and so on. When I say “just” I mean seriously, we made out at a bar a week ago, had a date on Wednesday, and are meeting up again tomorrow. I declined going home with him last Friday because I need a bit of a connection and intimacy to have sex, even casual sex. However, our date on Wednesday felt very….well, date like! I didn’t want to leap into bed with him immediately, but I worry about giving him the wrong impression. I want to make it clear to him that while I like him, and want to get to know him and hang out with him, I don’t want a boyfriend or a relationship. I guess something between just banging and commitment? Is that weird? I wanted to bring it up before we get too physical, but my friends all think that’s weird and that I should just go with the flow. I think it’s better if we clear up early on what each person is expecting/wanting from the other. When should I initiate this conversation? It’s a good idea….right?
I’ve always felt like it’s better to make any expectations clear as early as possible. Can you just sort of casually mention that you’re not looking for anything serious, but makeouts+ are more than welcome right now?
Yes, this. It’s very helpful to do “looking for relationship/not,” otherwise, go with the flow.
And I think something between just banging & commitment = casually dating.
I have had the LONGEST week ever and I am so tired and gross and work is ugh. I’m very excited for the nyc book club/meetup tonight (even though I’m still working on last month’s book, oops) but after that I’m going to go home and shower for 3 hours and then sleep until Sunday.
OH and if any NYC toasties were thinking of taking classes at Laguardia Community College, DON’T DO IT. I went to my new student orientation (which I had to take off work to go to) and I was in line for FIVE AND A HALF HOURS and then they were like lol sorry you’re class is full. So now I wait until next semester to take it. Just an FYI for anyone, apply the semester before you usually would, because your first semester will be wasted because of the ridiculous requirement to complete a new student advisement before you can enroll in classes. The advisement consists of waiting in line until you die and then they revive you and ask you to fill out your name and student ID on a form and then you’re done.
I FINISHED THE DANG BOOK YOU GUYS
this is why i was baaarely on the toast this week but i DID IT and i’m BACK
Congrats!!
Can’t wait to buy it!
Related:
YAY MALLORY!
“I finished the dang book”: one of the most satisfying sentences in the English language. Congrats.
MALLORY! YOU ARE THE MAGIC!
I love how “barely on the toast this week” for you means only like 50 posts. I am in awe of your verbal fecundity.
I am in awe of the phrase “verbal fecundity”
Also, congratulations!!!!!!!!!!! I will take six.
hurray! congratulations!
CONGRATULATIONS, HOW WONDERFUL
(no really! I cannot wait to read it.)
HOORAY
This post just combined Michelle Obama, Tina Fey & MALLORYS NEW BOOK WTF hearts all around
Despite my distinct lack of love for the Miami Heat, I could watch this GIF for hours.
Also, whoo hoo, Mallory!
I AM SO HAPPY
(Congratulations!)
Congratulations! (Cue the thunderous applause from the many miniature horses galloping about in a complete, joyous frenzy JUST FOR YOU!)
You guys, I finished Code Name Verity this morning. Nearly blubbed in public.
You are maybe the first person I’ve heard of who hasn’t actually sobbed over it.
(“Kiss me, Hardy!”)
OHMYGOD I cried for about an hour after I finished that book, and for a half hour more when I tried to explain to Mr. B_Ham why I was crying.
Holy shit that book about wrecked me.
That is the saddest book ever, and I had to go on an Austen reading binge for a week to recover
I was reading it on my phone at the gym (half-assing a bike workout), and I got to “Kiss me, Hardy!” and had to stop, because I did not want to break down and cry at the damn gym.
I finally finished The Goldfinch, per everyone’s recommendation on this thread like a month ago. LETTUCE DISCUSS BELOW.
I know someone having a baby! yay! I’m very happy for her! I was already plotting to get the future baby Paper Bag Princess (is infant too young for books? no….) but it’s a boy. If it were someone I knew better I would have no hesitation still giving them the book; but this person, I don’t know her ideology/point of view that well and I don’t want to seem like I’m trying to indoctrinate her son before the child can read. Would you still give the book? Or what is a more useful gift that a set of first-time parents would actually want for themselves or for their new kiddo?
I would still give the book. If you think they may be the type that don’t like their son reading about women/identifying with girls you could add a little comment about how it’s great for everyone or something.
FWIW I have no children but would absolutely want books to be given to my child even if they couldn’t read. They don’t go bad, you never age out of them (unlike dipers and baby clothing) and they are so much fun.
On the one hand, absolutely give the book! On the other hand, check out their registry and see what they actually need. On the third hand, everyone needs books!
Obviously that is my favorite book too and I give it to everyone, but so far everyone I know except one has had girls. I seriously considered giving it to the boy-parents, but I don’t actually like them all that much and they are not down with the Cause (ie feminism, being reasonable human beings, etc) and in the end I knew they wouldn’t like it and didn’t want to bother. But I give it to everyone else and they have all been THRILLED.
I’d maybe give them the PBP plus one other more “neutral” book. And there is no such thing as being too young for a book, in my opinion!
I have Very Strong Feelings about that book, so perhaps am biased, but I think it’s just as important a book for boys as it is for girls. Boys need to see girls as self-sufficient, capable people too! It’s a charming enough book that you can pass it off as an “oh I adored this book when I was little!” sort of thing. I’d get him the book if not now, then maybe in a year or two. (But it’s never to early to start amassing a giant library of books.)
Get him the book! Get a couple other favorites and tell them you picked them because they mean so much to you. Some of my friends got my baby some books that she won’t read for years, but they inscribed them with notes about how they were meaningful, and I love it.
Other safe gifts: Burp clothes, all of the burp clothes. The thicker the better. Crinkly toys (Lamaze makes good ones.) Baby towels/washcloths. Bibs — they’ll be handy eventually, and like burp clothes, there can never be too many.
So I am 37 weeks pregnant and got sent in for monitoring this week. It turned out to be nothing, but, thanks to the monitor, I now know I am having all these contractions that I CANNOT EVEN FEEL. So naturally, I went straight home and to Amazon and bought a TON of stuff in a pre-baby panic, which turned up yesterday. Some of it is crap, and should be returned (looking at you “infant care kit,” which my husband observes was made with the same color scheme and attention to quality as a Barbie play set). But some of it is useful–crib sheets, yes; mattress protectors, yes; baby bathtub, yes; baby socks, yes; port-a-crib sheets, ok; bottle brush, yes; diaper pad, yes; diapers, triple yes. The point is, it all adds up, so if you aren’t 100% sure about a book or toy (see: co-worker’s gift of musical lamb playing “Jesus Loves Me”), there are plenty of guaranteed-useful-and-appreciated things you could get.
What everybody already said! If they (INCORRECTLY) don’t like it, they don’t have to read it to the kid. Harold and the Purple Crayon might be a nice companion book, or The Snowy Day.
My parents always give a small mirror that new parents can hang at shoulder-height to check if the baby they’re walking is asleep yet.
Another nice present for new parents might something for them and NOT for the baby, preferably something that they can enjoy without putting actual pants on — like a gift certificate for a restaurant that does really good takeout.
yes, feed the parents! I’m trying to figure out how to register for food…
That mirror thing from your parents is brilliant.
Wait – The Paper Bag Princess is considered “too feminist” by some people? That’s terrible!
Perhaps you could buy a CD with a collection of Robert Munsch stories on it? This is one of the very few scenarios where the audiobook versions beat the real books, because Robert Munsch’s narration is so. dang. funny.
Does anyone have a good recipe for homemade bagels?
I only made this one once, but I liked it:
http://www.thewednesdaychef.com/the_wednesday_che…
Thanks! This looks awesome.
I’ve used this recipe with fairly good success. The resulting bagels weren’t pretty but they were DAMN tasty.
I love this recipe! I don’t have a stand mixer, but they come out great kneaded by hand, and it’s really not that much work. I always substitute molasses for barley malt syrup, but you can use honey as well.
http://wellvegan.com/breakfast/bagels
I’ve used this recipe a couple times: http://www.budgetbytes.com/2010/09/cinnamon-raisi… Kind of a waste of time (I mean, they were good, but not leaps and bounds ahead of store-bought ones), but fun! Good for a weekend when you have things to do around the house and can do other things during the long rising stretches.
I also substituted frozen blueberries once instead of the cinnamon raisin. It worked, but not quite as well — made them a little too soft. If you try with some berries or something, I’d add some more flour to compensate. Oh, and make the holes REALLY big. When they rise those wholes shrink down to nothing!
LoveAndOliveOil has a good one: http://www.loveandoliveoil.com/2013/07/july-kitch…
Also Cook’s Illustrated is always good (but behind a paywall)
You guys! My entire office (ok so it’s only two other people) has up and left me for the other side of the world, so I’m holding down the fort alone for a month. Any pro tips for staying motivated while working alone? All I want to do is blast some jams and have a solo office party! (…also any pro tips for fun things to do when you have an office to yourself??)
Blast some jams while doing some work? Is it the kind of work that has any sorts of deadlines, or that anyone will notice if you do not do?
Unfortunately, I currently have a bunch of deadlines! And I am now the official go-to for all communications while everyone else is out, so I have to be pretty responsive. Definitely going the jams-and-work route, at least until I get the one very urgent thing out of the way and can return to The Toast.
I am the worst at this so maybe you shouldn’t listen to me but it sometimes helps for me to work in timed intervals? google the pomodoro method, there are tons of free online timers, but it basically boils down to work, and only work, for 25 minutes (because it’s not thaaaaaat long), then a five minute break, wash, rinse, repeat.
I like this plan very much because it gives me excuses to regularly check back on the open thread fun WHILE actually getting shit done. Starting it now!
This sounds really interesting. I’m off to investigate.
fun thing to do: order delivery for lunch (unless that is something you always do.)
Also: Pre-game happy hour at your desk. Be the happiest before you even show up!
I am one quarter of the way through a two-day work event and we have hit the point where things going wrong are basically out of our control and we’re just laughing and laughing over it. WHATEVER. SURE. FINE. LET IT GO.
however, we get to eat the catering for breakfast and lunch and then take home leftovers. So it could be worse.
I used to think that leftover food from terrible work functions always tasted better than leftovers from things that went well. Then I realized that was only because there never were many leftovers after the successful events.
That’s excellent that you and your co-workers can laugh and let it go. Yay for non-oppressive work environments!
I am a bit of a sicky today. But! I had something published on The Toast woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo life complete.
which post?!?
The one about you being famous in a faraway galaxy! (Congrats on that, by the way)
Ahh! Congrats to YOU, that was great!
Oh man, fellow toasties, I love my job/internship. I am in grad school for school counseling and interning at an elementary. I am also working as a GA academic advisor at my university. I love them both so much. I am so hard on myself, but I feel like I might actually be doing okay in both. After years of jumping from job to job and not knowing what to do with my life, this is such a nice change.
Can you talk more about this? I’ve wanted to do school counseling since college, but then I didn’t go to grad school right away, and then I just started taking jobs because they, you know, pay the bills, and now its *mumblemumble* years later and I really, really want to go back to school and do this, but I’m a little scared I’d no longer be good at school (and of course other issues like money, getting INTO grad school, etc etc). I’ve done substitute teaching and LOVE working in schools and with kids, but most of my jobs since college have been BS office jobs in finance.
I know someone who got into a school counseling graduate program right out of undergrad, where he studied business. He had some experience working with kids (sports coaching) but that was it! So if he could get in, you can too!!
Oh man, that was so me a year ago! I was so scared that I was no longer school smart and was concerned with money, etc. Most of my jobs post undergrad were customer service kind of things. If you love working with kids and listening to them then I think it is a great thing to go into. I am super lucky that I landed a graduate assistanship with my university. So they pay for the majority of my tuition. So, it is doable to do it without acquiring a huge amount of debt. Most counseling programs require you to write an admission essay and I think that is a great way to explain why you want to be in the program even though you’ve worked mostly finance jobs.
My Toast / okcupid experiment has resulted in one promising suitor, and we are meeting up tomorrow night. !! He knew of the Toast but prefers the Awl, which is acceptable. I will report back after the date.
Woo!
It’s weird that he prefers something (anything, really) over the Toast, but I think you should go for it regardless. Good luck!!
I agree, but I’m willing to cut a bit of slack. I mean, the Awl is kind of responsible for the Toast, right, since it brought Nicole and Mallory together? Just imagine if his favorite website was something horrible like reddit or …I don’t even know what other shitty websites to reference because I spend all my time here, but you get the idea.
Are you afraid that putting the toast on your okcupid will encourage some not-nice/MRA commenters to invade? I ask because I would do the same thing, but I’m a pessimist.
Mostly the okc messages I get are from dudes who obviously haven’t read my profile and contain no more than 2 sentences, and the frequency of those seems unchanged. I’ve only gotten one message from someone who specifically referenced my Toast bit and that’s the one I’m going out with, so I guess that data tells me that MRAs either already don’t read my profile and message me anyway, or aren’t bothered enough to hassle me about it?
Good to know. Have fun on your date!!! Recite some misandrist lullabies during any awkward silences.
You guys, today is such a bummer. Just woke up feeling bummed, y’know?
However, the good news is that I rediscovered Nicole’s dad’s beef and yogurt casserole recipe from two years ago on the hairpin, and now I am making it for dinner.
Also, I am hosting a belated Galentine’s day this weekend and I am making tiny chicken and waffles, and tiny potato latkes with smoked salmon and cream cheese AND tiny cinnamon rolls. I’m pretty excited!
Tiny food is the best!
Also, I completely forgot about the 2nd Toronto meet up on Sunday until it was already happening and I was too lazy to get up and go. But I kind of regret it.
TINY CINNAMON ROLLS!
I know what I’m doing this weekend.
I finished Hild this morning – I enjoyed it even though my picture of what was going on politically in the background was a bit vague. Now I am going to quickly read the newest Halo EU book (Mortal Dictata by Karen Traviss) and then Brandon Sanderson’s newest Stormlight Archive book which either just came out or is just about to.
I felt the same about Hild, I wanted to badly to google more about the time and the characters but I didn’t want to spoil it! I mean, I knew it was very loosely based on her life, but still. I need to read it again now that I’ve got a better picture of the time.
I am reading it right now and it’s good but heavy. I feel like I’ve read a million pages but I’m only on page, like, 143.
Toasties, thanks so much for all the podcast recommendations! I’ve started listening to a few of them, and I’m really enjoying them so far. You all rock!
My wife woke up in the middle of the night with a blood-curdling scream, like straight out of a horror film, I wish I had a microphone going scream. She didn’t realize that she had screamed until she asked me, then said she thought she saw something on the ceiling and went back to sleep. I was up for another 45 minutes just lowering my heart rate.
I basically hate everyone who my wife works with, with maybe 2 exceptions. I think that in general they are all incompetent cowards who are more interested in not dealing with things than they are with running a functional operation. I don’t really even know these people, mostly, but they make her life there miserable (a person or two in particular). There isn’t really anything I can do about it except give my her my support and let her know that I’ve got her back. It’s very frustrating.
But our cats are adorable. So that’s good.
Oh my god. I’m impressed YOU weren’t what she saw on the ceiling.
I was like 3/4 asleep as well. Then INSTANTLY awake.
But was it worse than the time I woke up from a bad dream and hurled my pillow at you and screamed “it’s not fucking funny you fucking asshole!”?
Less confusing, but more startling. There was more adrenaline this time.
Guys, a few of my friends’ moms are rilly, rilly sick right now AND Harold Ramis died and so I spent a lot of this week thinking about my mortality and crying. I don’t feel old enough to be at the “sick parents” stage of life (but probably no one EVER feels old enough for that).
ETA: I told Mr. B_Ham about my sadfeels and he was trying to comfort me and said “We can go home and watch some ‘This Old House’ episodes” and I replied, “But what about when Norm Abram dies?” and burst into tears.
I probably can’t help you at all, I just wanted to add that last week I went into my bedroom where my man was reading and I said “how do keep your thoughts about dying from ruining your life?” And then I gasped-sobbed-cried on his belly for about half an hour. So I just wanted to let you know that it is terrible and you are not alone!
I actually sobbed during part of grey’s anatomy last night when someone died in the hospital, because it hit really close to home. So I feel you.
Uugh, Mortality Feels. It snowed unexpectedly here last weekend and I made Mr. Quadro drive me to work because he grew up in Alaska and doesn’t care about driving in snow (it terrifies me) – and I ended up getting into an awful thought loop where I was glad we brought the dog along for the ride because what if we got in an accident and died and he just wasted away in our apartment with no one to rescue him.
I told him about this a few days later and he reminded me that the police would probably come check out the apartment and weirdly, that made me feel better? Horrible thoughts about death! Sometimes we have them!
Back when I had an hour-long bus ride to work I always managed to start dwelling on my mortality and everyone else’s mortality so that by the time I got to work I was on the verge of throwing up.
But now my bus ride is only 20 minutes which is about enough time to find a good song on my iPod.
Here is my heart. I am giving bits of it to all of you who are dealing with mental health whatnot. It’s hard. This last week was really rough for me and I’m having a hard time trusting my doctor. But I believe in me, and I believe in you.
I believe in you, figgy. Be good to yourself. ::hugs::
Also, I have been practicing drawing by doing portraits of my Twitter friends (largely Toasties, especially Iceberg because she’s amazing), so if we don’t already know each other on Twitter, you should come find me at @figwiggin and I will draw your face!
And it’s AWESOME. Guys, she drew me and my cat and we look SO ADORABLE it’s nuts.
I highly recommend a face-drawing by figgy – she is amazing.
Oh, figgy…thinking of you and sending you good thoughts and support. I am interested in having a figgy face drawing, but my Twitter pic is not of me – should I just send you one?
Internet hugs to you! ETA If you want them!
This is lovely. Right back at you. Take care of yourself. xoxo
<3 you, Figgie! I’m super glad to know you!
<3 <3 <3 <3
Nothing clever to add, but sending you warm and healing thoughts. (Also, my phone just tried to autocorrect something in that previous sentence to “gelding” which is at least oddly amusing?)
xo
Tattoo booked for a fortnight: check.
Vast amounts of money spent on horse: check.
Boyfriend coming to visit for the week on Monday: check.
Hurrah, mostly?
Woooo!!! Tattoo pics when accomplished if you’re comfortable with sharing, please!!!
Oh, absolutely! This is the current state of my back, I’m having a spirally thing with bits coming off it in the empty bit between my shoulderblades – going up onto my neck and then veering down to the left.
yowza! 😉 and looks like you have a much higher pain threshold than I (she said, full aware that childbirth is staring her in the face). Can’t wait to see the progress!
I am excited! And also wondering where to go next. I’ve got both sides of my ribcage done as well and I don’t think I want to go onto my arms.
I fell asleep during my last one (a calligraphic poem in the shape of a horse’s head on my ribs) – my tattoo artist says I am a freak of nature.
So, if its raining in CA you can have just champagne for breakfast? None of this “diluting w OJ to be appropriate” nonsense, right?
IS THAT WHAT CALIFORNIA IS LIKE?!?
Absolutely. In fact, you see all of us wandering around with our reusable water bottles all the time, but the secret is that they’re not filled with water at all, but with sparkling wine.
Eh, even if it’s sunny, you can have champagne for breakfast. Champagne and cake for breakfast, the only reasons I became an adult.
man i hadn’t even thought to add cake…
I live in Kansas. Largely because of that, I have alcohol for breakfast at every opportunity. Drink up, bb. Drink up.
For some reason, CA morning rain + champagne is a perfect combo. Eat with goat cheese crostini?
Hi Toasties! I need some clothing advice. What should one wear to a job interview at a young, hip graphic design place? The kind where you bring your dog to work and drink beer all day.
Honestly, I’d still go for a suit…I feel like that’s a default job interview thing, and I’ve never heard of someone being faulted for being too formal. That being said, I could be wrong. Maybe a suit jazzed up with cool accessories? A blazer and slacks?
I don’t think I’d go full suit for a graphic design job in a young-ish office. I’d still throw on a blazer and nice shoes though. Make it colorful but laid back (like that silk top in the comment from roumbaba) and stick a really cool necklace or bag. I’d wear ponte pants or colored pants instead of jeans as well.
I am possibly old fashioned, and believe one should always err on the side of more formal for an interview. But definitely not a matching suit. I’d probably go with nice slacks + a nice colorful top + blazer not the same color as pants, and then add one “funky” personality piece, like cool earrings or a fun necklace or a scarf. But I’d try not to go overboard with a cool outfit and look too try-hard-y.
Black pants, funky but understated shirt of some kind, black blazer, one chunky piece of jewelry, funky but understated shoes, minimal makeup, large black glasses.
Woooo! EXCITEDFACE.
My vote would be for a blazer, dark-jeans-that-don’t-look-like-jeans, aaaand … I don’t know, some sort of simple .. top, I guess?
(I can only offer confident responses 83% of the time.)
black pants, blazer, cool top, flats (MAYBE converse if you’re really v. risky). p much what i wear every day.
i’d err on the side of business-casual wear, but stuff that looks maybe a little more…”funky” (using this word makes me feel mega un-hip) rather than staid.
like, the standard slacks/pencil skirt, blouse, blazer/nice cardigan combo, except you can branch out a little—wear slacks in an unconventional color, or a patterned blouse, or maybe some interesting jewelry, forgo heels in favor of nice boots or oxfords. but not all at once, of course. pick one or two items to run with.
I’m seconding everyone else saying to go for a formal outfit with creative accessories, like some awesome jewelry or a cool scarf.
Also, if you want to go a little more formal (and menswear-y) but still VERY fun I’d basically look to Esther Quek for inspiration
Oh my GOD, new style icon alert. Totally validating my choice to wear an ascot to a job interview last year. (I didn’t care too much about whether they offered me the job, plus it made me feel totally badass.)
ahhh i love esther quek. every time i see a picture of her, my mind just blares foghorn-style, “WHAT A BABE! BABE! BABE! COOL BABE!”
I had a “cool” interview recently and I opted for a pencil skirt, blazer, and tights (all black) with black heeled boots and a wacky scarf, plus I wore my big glasses.
Or maybe slim-cut darkish suit, flats or heels as appropriate, and an unexpected, graphic-y t-shirt instead of a blouse. Also yes on cool glasses if thats your thing and maybe one other statement accessory (my bias is towards necklace/scarf and away from dangly earrings, b/c I feel like sometimes those translate as sort of high maintenance? Ymmv)
Sooooo recently I’ve been obsessing over stationery and letterpress and other cute snail mail things, but it’s so darn expensive and vast. Tell me everything you know about paper!
Someone got me this calendar for Christmas: http://riflepaperco.com/item/2014_Secret_Garden_C…
It’s hanging in my office and I just love it so much. It brings me joy every day. And it’s on sale now! I highly recommend it.
I also have this calendar! It’s gorgeous! Funfetti, you should run out and buy yourself The Little Book of Letterpress because it has a ton of amazing companies in it whose products you can purchase and love forever.
papersource is awesome if you live near one.
I have ungodly amounts of the stuff. You can super cute and unusual things on etsy. Also, if you haven’t already, check out the blog Paper Pastries. Serious snail mail eye candy.
Also, the Chronicle Books website has a pretty great selection if you do a search for stationery.
go old-school! crane, dard hunter, constructivist.
If you are interested in writing letters to friends and others on the regular but don’t want to spend Crane-type money, Michael’s has these $1.50 bins in the front of the store (they kind of create the check out line) and they sell 6-packs of stationery with matching notebooks, stickers, and other knick knacky things! Some are cute, some are ugly, but they change out the stock every few months.
Some of my favourite letters are ones that were written on either printer paper or notebook paper, but lovingly and time-consumingly decorated by a friend. I try to create my own versions when I don’t have fancy cards around, and I hope other people like them, too! Otherwise, I’ve found some cute cards at reasonable prices on Etsy if I spend a long time looking, or I haunt the sale sections at the bookstore and Paper Source.
FRIENDS, I did push-ups 4 out of 7 nights this week! And of two of the days that I didn’t, one I was overwhelmed by wine, and the other I did a super-hard, arm-heavy yoga class.
Gettin’ those arm muscles back.
“overwhelmed by wine”: perfect.
Way to go!! Feeling arm-strong is the best – I’ve been working on that a lot recently too and didn’t realize just how much stronger I’d gotten until I was casually doing all these things in aerial that used to make me want to die. It’s such a good feeling!
Fuck yes arm muscles!
Yay!
I did fifteen lady push-ups on Wednesday! In a row, even! If I do at least ten of some kind of push-up (including push-ups off the kitchen counters) I get a gold star on my calendar, and I feel like my arm strength is going up surprisingly fast.
Wait, that’s a great way to do it. I’m going to start using stars!
I find it works best with very very achievable goals. I used to try to use them only when I got a full workout in, but then it started feeling too pressure-y. I can do at least 10 kitchen-counter push-ups while I’m waiting for my leftovers in the microwave, or even if I stay up way too late and drink too much beer for a weeknight while playing board games and coming up with names for sex acts (I mean, hypothetically. I would never do such a thing, because I am a Responsible Adult).
Good work! I’ve got a load of exercises to do for my core strength after a bad back injury last year now we finally know nothing is broken and it’s just muscle damage. I am finding them really hard but also loving regaining the muscles that I keep thinking I still have from before the injury!
How would you do your makeup for a Mardi Gras party, Toasties? Lots of glitter? We have a party this weekend and I’m short on ideas.
Also, all of the thesis students in my grad program got a wonderful “we’re charging you $1300 in program fees for spring/summer term” surprise this week, regardless of whether or not we’re going to be around to work on our stupid theses. What do you drink to forget?
Lots and lots of glitter. You can hold it on with a little bit of slightly-diluted corn syrup (sounds gross, works great). Also you can paint fancy patterns all over your face with water color crayons if you have them, or fun shades of eyeliner or something.
Oh, I wouldn’t have thought of the corn syrup thing! I’ve used it before to make fake blood, it’s not awful. Good tip! Although I think my partner would kill me if I used his good watercolour crayons for makeup. The horror!
He’ll be none the wiser! You can apply with a tiny paint brush if you want extra precision and also to leave no telltale face prints on the tips…
Ugh that email was the straw that broke the camel’s back in my grad school career. My then boyfriend (now husband) and I drank minute maid orange juice and ting grey goose on one of the forest trails.
Ugh, I’m at the same institution that I went to for undergrad, and it’s been literally years of this kind of fuckery. I need my degree, so I can’t give up yet, but I was thisclose the other day.
Whiskey is my forgetting drink. Old-fashioneds are cheap to throw together. Or just whiskey and coke.
We are definitely not short on whiskey in this house! Old-fashioneds are the besttttt.
Ladies! A question!
Do any of you get migraines before/during your period? I used to never have migraines, but I’ve gotten 4 or 5 in the last year, and the last two have been just as my period is ending (I didn’t track when the others were). Apparently they run in my family. My grandma, aunt, and mom all had them until menopause. My aunt had them every month from age 12 on, and my mom’s started, like mine, in her mid-to-late 20s.
I know this is A Thing Some Women Get, but since it’s new to me, I’m wondering if you guys who experience this have any remedies or tips on handling them.
I don’t get them, but I know some people who do, and some are helped by hormonal birth control, and some of them seem to be helped by avoiding it, so maybe try changing your strategy there?
Not on BC, so maybe I should (FINALLY) look into that. I’ve been putting it off my entire adult life because I’m single and who cares, really?
actually, I think some kinds of migraines make it so they actually WILL NOT LET you go on birth control because it greatly increases your risk of stroke. talk to your doc!
Good to know!
I have gotten them associated with my period, too, also starting in my late 20s. I have been able to identify triggers like “too many frozen dinners with high sodium content”, “that one florescent light at work”, and “red wine every night for a week” to try to minimize those surrounding my period, and for the most part, it’s worked for me.
Mainly identifying other external triggers, beyond just that it’s your period.
What is it about that one fluorescent light at work?
It’s secretly trying to kill us with its mind bullets.
Lavender Feverfew Extract plus 3 Advil Liquid Gel Caps plus 15 mins silence = Migraine cure
I don’t ask questions, I just get to it as soon as I see the lights. And with the extract, most of the time the pain never even HITS.
Lavender Feverfew, eh? I do love natural remedies. My mom takes feverfew daily in the form of Migrelief and loves it. I’ll definitely look into that extract as an acute remedy! Thanks!
I used to have those; my daughter did too. Our Dr gave us some little pills that dissolve on the tongue. But what worked best and almost eliminated them for my daughter was lots of exercise and by lots I mean almost every day, plus more sleep and high protein, low carb diet. YMMV of course.
But carbs are so delicious.
Everybody’s migraines seem to be different, but try Aleve + caffeine + dark room + eye pillow with lavender in it (you could make your own). Peppermint tea could work if you’d rather avoid caffeine. Hope you’re OK!
Lavender, peppermint, and wintergreen oils have been my go-tos thus far. I love the idea of the eye pillow! May try that!
My roommate does sometimes. And suddenly my deathcramps (which have luckily diminished in frequency since high school) don’t seem so bad. I don’t think she’s figured out a good solution to them yet, though.
Period triggers migraines and occasionally dental infection flare-ups. I alternate taking a feverfew capsule and half an aspirin daily and that keeps me 90% in the clear now, tho’. If you take a ‘maintenance dose’ of herbals daily it really helps to stave the bastards off.
Hi, I remember having dreadful death wish migraines in my twenties. The migraines stopped after having children though this is a drastic remedy. I think the headaches were caused by hormonal changes and contraceptive pills. I think Ibuprofen helped if you are not too nauseated to take it. I remember the sweet joy of relief when the crashing pain would finally go. I do sympathise. I am now a big fan of the Mirena IUCD.
Hello I’ve been lurkin’ for forever but I AM NOW HERE. I am jazzedloon of [literally no] fame, but I am the same name on the Pin and Twitter, so maybe we’re friends there.
I’m considering… what if I went to Montreal (from Brooklyn) for a week? By myself? Like… tomorrow? (Well, maybe in May.) I’ve never taken a big trip by myself before, nor have I ever left the nifty fifty. I would take a bus/train up, rent an AirBnb, rely only on public transport, keep costs semi-low, find myself, maybe get inspiration for a novel or, at least, some bombass tweets… is this doable?
Please, all Canadians and experienced lady-solo-travelers, give me tips/advice/your inner warmth and poise.
I follow you on Twitter and think you are great! Hello!
I only have experience doing day trips in Italy by myself, as far as solo travel goes, but I think it’s one of the most freeing and wonderful things, if you can get over anxiety. And Montreal seems like it would be a really easy/great place to do that. I hear they have excellent bagels.
Montreal is lovely, full of incredibly tasty food, straightforward to navigate with public transportation, and not eyewateringly expensive. There’s a daily Amtrak train from NYC, which isn’t enormously pricy but does take quite a while to get here — I’d take that rather than the bus (which is not any faster). This is doable! However, it is also -30C with windchill here today, so don’t do it this weekend. 🙁
DOES IT EVER GET WARM IN CANADA?? Is that why Justin Bieber is so douchey, because he’s insulating himself with Prime Certified Douche™ against the harsh Canada cold? Is that why Drake has packed his body with warm charm and talent and probably, let’s be honest, pretty nice abs… so that his lips don’t fall off? Does that explain Rob Ford?
It does. Immediately after it is An Ice Storm Forever in Montreal comes the summer of the monsoon, which also includes tam-tams on Mount Royal, which: best sunday afternoon picnic maybe in North America? It is AMAZING.
Right now it’s cold and you’re risking eleventy billion cm of snow, but it will also be beautiful. I fell in love with the place in February, so.
It gets surprisingly warm here — I spent half of last summer in a pool of +35C induced sweat 🙁 If you’re doing this (which you totally should!), late April to May is probably optimum — warm, pleasant, everyones thrilled to bits at it being warm enough for bare legs.
Nothing explains Rob Ford other than a lot of illicit drugs and an enabling family :/
I’ve never taken that train (I live on the West Coast) but I have to second that traveling by train is generally so much nicer than traveling by bus.
I’ve taken that train part of the way up (I was going to Lake Placid), and it is wonderful! Cannot recommend it more. It’s so, so easy and so much more pleasant than the bus.
Eh, I just took the train from California to Seattle on Tuesday and it was 17 hours of slow-moving torture. Okay, I was asleep for a lot of it but my back and neck are still killing me. I’m fine with train rides of the less than 6 hours nature.
oof, yikes. not sure where the closest airport in Montreal is, but I figure the train station would be closer to public transport than the airport would?
Train station is right downtown and connects directly to the metro, airport is on the island and there’s an express bus (last I checked it was $8 cash or free with a three day or longer pass) that runs 24h between the airport and a series of stops downtown. It’s fantastically straightforward either way.
Montreal is very fun and easy to handle! But probably more inspiring in the spring.
but if it’s currently as cold as a witch’s tit my boobs will finally have a home
I think this is a great idea! I love traveling by myself, even though I haven’t done it in forever. I love choosing everything myself – getting to train stations as early as I want, lingering in museums at my own pace, eating three ice cream cones in a row, sitting on park benches for hours or walking for hours, whatever I feel like. The only thing that gets weird for me is eating in restaurants alone, so I sometimes end up making myself sandwiches, which is really just silly. I’ve never been to Montreal! You’ll have a great time there, though, I’m sure!
When I travel alone, which I’ve done a bit of now (once to London after a work trip, once to Boston) the eating in restaurants by myself definitely felt a bit weird at times! A good antidote to that is stopping into a bakery for a sandwich. Another good antidote is remembering that no one cares that you are eating in a restaurant alone. But that one can be harder to do.
i could also facetime you all in.
i spent a week on my own in New York which was a dream in many ways, but did at some points get a little lonely. I ameliorated this by going to the same sandwich shop every day and buying the same lunch (strawberry cream cheese on a cinnamon bagel*, an apple the size of a child’s head, rooibosch tea). That made it feel less like ‘oh Jesus, I’m 3000 miles from home with no- one to talk to, this is dreadful’ and more like ‘yeah, I’m hanging out in my new temporary neighb, gonna eat my bagel and drink my tea, watch the hell out of some people, and plan history’s greatest ever blog post about [all of the aforementioned]’. I never wrote the blog posts but I enjoyed the fuck out of the bagels.
*STRAWBERRIES! IN CREAM CHEESE! ON A BAGEL! I MEAN, WHAT?!
oh yay!! that’s so pleasant! i love new york (i live here, of course), but if i had to come to visit for a weekend i would be SO overwhelmed. what did you do?
I walked a lot! Until my feet started hurting and I had to get the subway instead. I went to MOMA, although not for long enough, and that fashion museum in the garment district? I went to a Buddhist temple in Chinatown and did a lot of window- shopping (as well as being a tiny bit overenthusiastic about free samples in kiehls). Went to Williamsburg, ate a tuna melt, visited the botanical gardens. Went to Coney island and got the Hot Pants for the sword- swallowing lady there. Walked some more, had my Palm read in the back room of a psychic’s shop in the village. She was watching soap operas and kept answering her cordless phone. Best three bucks I ever spent.
I took myself out for sushi last Friday night and I’ll be honest, I felt like a total weenie at first because I was kind of scared. I’m 30mumblemumble years old I know that no one cares, no one even notices me, but I still felt a little weird. But then I started to get over it because of fancy sake and raw fish then at the end I felt real proud of myself (and full, and slightly tipsy).
Lunch out alone, though, always seems easy. Do we all just accept that lunch is often a solitary meal?
My wife is from Montreal. It’s glorious in May, but if you don’t mind cold and snowy weather, I think you’d still enjoy it this time of year. The one thing I would suggest is to make sure you take actual real winter boots if you have them, as opposed to swede Uggs or thin leather fashion boots that a lot of people get away with in other cities. There’s a lot of snow and slush and you risk cold, wet feet and/or ruined footwear otherwise.
I’m not sure what you like to do as a traveler, so it’s tough to know exactly what to recommend. Food-wise, there are few cities in North America than can beat it. French-style pastries, breads and baked goods, nouveau-French cuisine, poutine for junk/drunk food. The two local food institutions would be Schwartz’s for Montreal smoked meat (it’s like pastrami, but my wife hates it when I say that), and Fairmount Bagels for the uniquely-Montreal version of round deliciousness (St. Viateur will do in a pinch). Even if you are a fan of NY bagels, they’re worth a try. Best local beer is Unibroue. Quebec wine is okay, but the best from the wine makers would be ice wine and ice cider. If you’d like to treat yourself, I think the single best new type of alcohol out of the province would be Sparking Ice Cider (but you have to drink it ice cold, as it’s quite sweet). Because of the French language and immigration patterns, I generally find it easier to get high quality North- and other-African food, Caribbean food, and Lebanese food.
Some will disagree, but I really think that the museums in Montreal are nothing to write home about. We’ve only been to a couple, but my wife never has any interest in recommending or visiting one when we go back. The residential architecture, Old Montreal, and all the old churches, some of which have been converted to businesses and residences, make walking around a real pleasure, even if you’re not a huge architecture buff.
Shopping-wise, I would point to three stores that you’re not likely to find in the US: Simons (a mid-level-ish department store that has a lot of cool private-label fashion); Mexx (more euro-leaning fashion); La Baie (also known as The Bay, and they have a section of iconic Hudson Bay Company goods and atire, as well as a section of nicer Canadian propaganda wear).
Montrealers, at least under their parkas, are among the most stylish in Canada or the US, and also very diverse, so people-watching is probably my favorite activity to do in the city.
I LOVE YOU. this is magnificent. Thank you thank you!
(I can’t believe I typed swede instead of suede.)
If there’s something I’m missing or something you’re curious about, please don’t hesitate to ask. I like to be a cheerleader for Canadian cities.
I totally agree that May is a great time to visit Montreal. You’ll have good weather and people will be excited about doing stuff outside again, and cafes/bars will have opened their terraces (the winter is hard so people get on that early).
I STRONGLY DISAGREE about Unibroue being the best local beer. It is good, but they’ve been bought out by Sleeman/Sapporo now and I think that smaller microbreweries are doing more interesting stuff. I would recommend checking out Dieu du Ciel, Brutopia, and maybe Helm.
Food-wise, you should go to Cheskie’s bakery, and Romados for chicken, and I really like Fairmount for bagels (although St Viateur bagels has a cafe that’s really good if you want an actual breakfast).
Oh man, I could talk about Montreal forever.
I don’t like Helm (the crowd is too after-work bro-y for me) but let me also add Vices & Versa as a perfect beer destination. They only carry QC beers, their fries are INCREDIBLE, and on Tuesday evenings (I think?) they have live Quebecois folk music which is a rompin’ good time.
ST VIATEUR WILL DO MORE THAN MANAGE IN A PINCH. >:(
I have strong opinions about quality bagels.
It’s St Viateur OR NOTHING for me. I like to get a big ol’ bag of warm sesame ones, rip them apart, and smear butter on them. THERE IS NOTHING BETTER. Also, across the street from the tourist trap that is Schwartz’s is a place called the Main deli. Better smoked meat, and no line up out the door to get it.
Also, for beer, McAuslan brewery has some super great beer as well.
YESSS, the Main! Not only is there no lineup, the staff won’t hustle you out the door the second you’ve finished eating.
I’m a vegetarian and so have no opinions on the local smoked meat, but I’ve heard plenty of people agree with you on the Main being tastier than Schwatz’s.
ST VIATEUR!
ST VIATEUR!
ST VIATEUR!
I only have strong opinions about Montreal bagels.
I lived across the street from St Viateur and their fresh sesames were the only thing getting me through winter. BUT their all-dressed is a sad, pathetic, rag compared to the holy beauty of Fairmount’s all-dressed, which surpasses every other bagel in the city, no question.
To the original poster: you should definitely do this trip, BUT change your method of transit. The drive is 6 hours, but the Greyhound is 9 and Amtrak is 11. Check CL for rideshares, there is also a facebook group for rideshares here.
There is also a private bus company that goes between Brooklyn and Mile End, the equivalent Jewish/hipster neighborhood in Montreal where you will find bagels, Dieu du Ciel, etc. It is a Hasid company and apparently almost everyone who takes the bus is Hasidic, however, I know friends who have taken it and they say it’s fine as long as you dress conservatively, try and be respectful in terms of not touching/sitting next to men, etc. I think it’s cheaper than Greyhound, and quite a bit faster. Here is the phone number (I don’t think they really have a web presence because Hasid) and here’s a blog post by someone who has taken it in case that helps illustrate the experience a bit?
Ahhhhh home of Unibroue!! <3 <3 <3
btw, The Mirror used to do a local list of the Best of Montreal every year. It’s now defunct, but the poll/survey has been taken over by Cult Montreal. They have pretty extensive lists of things to do in Montreal broken down by category into pretty fine detail: http://cultmontreal.com/2013/06/best-of-mtl-2013/
Meeting lil baby nephew for the first time tomorrow- any misandrist lullaby suggestions?
Here’s two, both skewing folk-y:
“Father William” by The Mammals (“Father, I thought you’d understand / Bang went the six-gun in her hand”)
“Who’s Gonna Shoe Your Pretty Little Feet” by Woody Guthrie (“Papa’s gonna shoe my pretty little feet / Mama’s gonna glove my hand / Sister’s gonna kiss my ruby red lips / I don’t need no man”)
Ugh I should find these and imbed them for you but I don’t know how, am lazy.
We are in the process of selling our house in Australia and this morning we had an email from the real estate agent telling us the new buyer doesn’t mind that the garden is “completely” dead. And I know it’s been an insanely hot summer at home and it’s no surprise our garden suffered but “completely” dead sounds like even the trees have died, and the way our real estate agent worded it was as if we were at fault in the whole garden dying situation, when we are continents and hemispheres away and they are the ones who promised to take care of everything.
Anyway I started sobbing because we did so much work in that garden and I miss everything and everyone at home so much and it’s -30 outside and I’m really lonely here and no-one will ever be my friend because I’m such a sad and lonely person and so on and so forth.
So that’s my miserable, self-pitying contribution to the conversation today.
In better news, it’s Friday and I can drink some wine tonight.
Your estate agent is a demon who should be killed with salt and fire, and you are wonderful and you will find friends and if it’s that cold outside maybe you should try some mulled wine, because it sounds like you could use something warm.
That is a completely understandable set of things to be upset about, particularly the -30 nonsense. Making new friends in a new place as a grown-up is hard (at least for some of us homebody types) and I wish I could travel through the screen and give you a solidarity fist bump.
Thank you thank you. Mulled wine sounds like an excellent suggestion. To the google machine for recipes!
The sobbing about missing everyone and hating the weather is something I relate to and have been doing all week (reluctant resident of the Midwest with a boyfriend and friends and family in warmer climes). So, internet hugs for that, and also I second the suggestion for mulled wine. If you’d like to take it up a notch, add some brandy and make Glogg- -http://allrecipes.com/recipe/swedish-glogg/
Today was my last day at my terrible job! there was wine and cake and I got flowers and a teddybear! And I am visiting mr whatwhat on sunday and he just got called in for a job interview in my city! life is good today toastinies!
I went skiing last Friday, and now all I want to do is live in a van and ski every single day.
UGH I spend so much time persuading myself that living in a van and climbing/hiking/skiing every day is not a viable life plan.
So what amount of visceral worry about those you love (and/or yourself) dying tragically and horribly is a normal amount? Like, is it possible to fall asleep without imagining a fiery plane crash, or is that just a little-publicized part of the REM cycle?
I think only a little worrying is considered normal. Nightly fiery plane crashes may be a call for some mental health intervention…
I’m sorry that you’re going through this! I agree with LemonadeFish that nightly scary visions, especially if they are preventing/disrupting your sleep, should be investigated further, ideally with a professional of the medical or therapeutic variety.
Thanks, y’all. Food for thought – I’m not quite at the “interferes with daily activities” stage, but I am starting to think I’m letting anxiety get the best of me. First step is to stop watching Game of Pointless Torture – I mean Thrones in the evening, I think.
Yeah, I’ve been having a bunch of that since GoT S3 came out, too. I expect it will wane again when we’ve finished the season.
I have anxiety, and during the times when it’s at its worst I think about stuff like this ALL the time (and the rest of the time just a moderate amount, to be fair). So I definitely second the suggestions about managing daily anxiety in the way that works best for you–since I started seeing a better therapist who equipped me with some coping mechanisms I think about this stuff a lot less.
I also worry about and imagine the tragic deaths of my loved ones. I frequently worry about my wife driving to work safely in the morning, or the fact that my mom is planning to drive here for spring break in a couple weeks, and I used to worry about her being able to keep my infant siblings alive, etc. All totally irrational, obviously, but that doesn’t stop me.
But I’m also a highly anxious person so keep that in mind.
At some point we’re all going to die, one way or another, and we can’t prevent that, so don’t be too worried, just die well, which you *do* have some control over — is my admittedly dark (but realistic!) way to manage worries.
Sometimes lots of practical info on what to do in x, y, z scenarios also helps. But sometimes it can just feed the flames. So, yes, the others are probably right that talking to someone semiprofessional might be the best bet. That and maybe learning to meditate as you fall asleep (seeing the worry — but not needing to react to it — just letting it float into the mind and out again and watching your breathing be regular…).
i need to break things off with the guy i’ve been seeing casually but i want to do it in person and he’s being a giant fart and seems to have a pathological inability to reply to my texts sooner than three days later if he doesn’t suspect he’ll get laid that night. i’m trying to do the right thing by trying to arrange to see him and say it to his face, but i guess if it continues like this through the weekend, it won’t exactly break his heart if i do it over the phone, right?
I think, in this case, over the phone is juuuuuust fine (both because of his flakycasualness, and because I, personally, would much rather be dumped not-in-person, so I don’t have to worry about what to do with my face!)
haha, this is true. i just hate talking on the phone, urgh.
I try to be kind about that stuff, do it the “right” way and all, but…just DTMFA. He’s already shown that courtesy isn’t important to him, run with that.
I second this. If you’re not into it and it is more stress than it should be, just like, cut it off. If he texts you be like, look, I got a lot going on right now and maybe he’ll prove himself? However I was trying to fix my “put in what you get out” or WHATEVER (and not perpetuate the assholery I have suffered) with a nice person I was casually fucking (who just no) and I then the next day got a request for dirty pictures so who the fuck knows.
yep, i gave him a specific day and time frame in which he can hang out and if he doesn’t get back to me in time, i’m just gonna send him a “cool can i have my copy of lolita back” text, haha. if he agrees to meet me (or offers another time) then i’ll just be like, “cool…can you bring my copy of lolita?”
Is this the dude you were lukewarm about on Valentine’s day? I’m in a similar situation and we were commiserating. Good for you for ending it whichever way feels right to you! Maybe you can do it in person by pretending that you’re DTF, luring him in, then biting off his head, praying mantis-style.
Mine found out last week that I’ve been dating around a bit and told me he only wants to keep seeing me if we’re exclusive, which I agreed to. I do like him, but I told him before that I don’t want anything serious since we’re both leaving our city in a few months. I think I’m okay with this since I don’t want to stop seeing him altogether, but I just wish he hadn’t even asked. None of the other dates were going anywhere but it was still fun!
yep, that was me! clearly i got even more lukewarm, haha. i extended an invitation for coffee in a specific time range on a specific day and if he says no (or just doesn’t get back to me in time), i am just gonna dump him via text. the end!
that’s rough about your situation, but at least you were honest (both about the fact that you were dating, and about what you want)! if you want to date other people, you can always bring it up, and if it’s a dealbreaker for him, then…i guess it just is?
I think I am maybe just a mean person, but it seems that, under the circumstances, doing it by text would have a certain amount of poetic justice to it.
I just want to say that I have nothing to say to or about this week. It never happened.
My week has been much like that.
Saaaaame, I took Monday off and it STILL feels like this was the longest week ever.
The only good thing about this week was everything on The Toast yesterday, because I laughed and finally stopped clenching my jaw to the point of near tooth-crackery. Ugh.
Also, what’s a fun thing to do with the boyfriend, while staying in on a friday night that’s not watching netflix? I want to do something fun and different tonight, but I also don’t really want to go out.
board game??? bake something?? play records?
Seconding board games and playing records/dance party.
We’ve settled on playing all the records we have that we haven’t listened to all the way through yet, getting some fancy beers, and I’m going to bake madeleines!
Sounds like a top-drawer evening to me!
I made madeleines two weeks ago!! Thumbs up for Dorie Greenspan’s recipe if you don’t already have a fave of your own. But if you do, please tell me what it is!
i’m always a fan of the personal concert/dance party. throw on some good jams, put on your jammies, etc.
Puzzles? Dance party? Crafts? Elaborate meal?
LEGOs!!!
Put on some groovy music, pour some wine, and give each other a thorough back massage. Best. Friday. Ever.
reverse cowgirl
BLANKET FORT
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That sounds like a great plan.
Cooking dinner together, wine/fire/convo, reading…that’s all I’ve got.
Maybe get stuff for a fancy cocktail that you wouldn’t normally drink, make a nice cheese plate to go with it, and put on some classy music.
Ugh so a couple of (wonderful) dudes on my co-ed soccer team convinced me to join a second team that they play on, and the dudes on THAT team appear to have a pathological inability to ever pass the ball to ladies. There’s a men’s league too, bros! If you’re that convinced that women suck at sports, WHY ARE YOU PLAYING CO-ED SPORTS???
TERRIBLE ugh
So we can meet chicks, durrr. That’s why the chicks are here too, right? To get with some athletic bros?
Seriously though, that is some straight-up middle school bullshit.
I think this is why I quit playing in a gender-inclusive soccer league after two games. That, and there’s way too much running in that sport. My friend decided she wanted to play for my baseball team instead of her previous one this year and she’s a good catcher so I’m glad. Our league, and certainly not our team, is not “men only” but it just seems like there aren’t many women interested in playing fast-pitch hardball. I guess we are out there acting like stupid little boys a lot, I can see the non-interest.
That sounds fun to me! (except for the part where I’m terrible at anything involving hand-eye coordination)
The league I play in has a rule that co-ed teams must have two girls on the field at all time (out of six total players). My original team treats the girls like regular players and often will ask to have more than two of us on if we’re short on dude subs or they’re tired or whatever. The second team seems to think we’re just there to fill space on the field. I’ll give you one guess as to which team wins more games!
also I definitely know some dudes in a co-ed league in western mass and I really hope the ones I know aren’t the ones who aren’t passing!
Ha, it seems highly unlikely to me that these guys would be hanging with Toasties… they’re kind of macho and bro-y and like to talk a lot about all the beers they drink (not in a cool way). I’m sure your soccer dudes are lovely!
Oh those bragging-about-all-the-beers dudes are the waarst! The response “Wow, depressing” is both cuttingly funny and chemically accurate in one fell swoop. Try it out next time if you feel like it.
Ugh! I play a lot of co-ed ultimate and there are just some dudes that don’t understand that women can do thing and that maybe they should throw to them sometimes. WHY ARE YOU HERE??? That said, I have also played with a lot of really wonderful dudes. But yeah, hit or miss. I feel ya. :-/
After bitching about the wasteland that is the job hunting process on an open thread a few weeks ago, I lined up two interviews at awesome places!
EVERYTHING’S COMING UP MILLHOUSE
Well met, Internet stranger/friend, and congratulations. That is also my favorite thing to say when things are going my way.
ahhh, hooray for you!!!! Please enjoy this link! comingupmilhouse.com
PERFECTION
Bone dry! Hurrah!
We are all sad here because my mother-in-law has been visiting for the last month and now she is going home today. We will all miss her and we do not get to see her again until this summer. My older daughter cried the whole way to school. So very, very sad.
On the happy side we are going to see Wicked this weekend and spring break is coming up so we get to go see my parents in California. But today we are all crying.
Aw, it sounds like you have a really nice family.
Also: I like your username! I’m always trying to explain to people how good that show is. They don’t believe me when I say there are some episodes that are so sweet/sad that they make me cry.
There is no possible way that you can be human and *not* cry at the Jurassic Bark episode.
Yes! The other two that really stick out for me are the end of “Leela’s Homeworld” (the one where Leela meets her parents), and “Meanwhile” (the one where Leela and Fry grow old together while the rest of the world is frozen). So good!
The Luck of the Fryrish is the one that gets me.
Thanks! I think we are pretty nice! : ) And Futurama is awesome!
I signed up for the 300 Swings challenge, which starts tomorrow. At first I was all WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING but then I realized I just need to do 30 swings an hour for ten hours of the day. It’s the first time in my life that I’ve felt better after doing math.
I was reeeeeally hoping this would be about swingsets. I mean, kettlebells are okay, I guess. *small sigh* But good luck!
Thanks for the luck! I might not be the strongest or most able person in the world, but I’m tenacious like a little terrier. I WILL DO THIS.
Although, yes, swings on a swingset would be awesome. Man, I need to find a swingset now.
Go you!
Thanks! It’s going to be AWESOME. Come April, people around me are going to spontaneously break into fully choreographed productions of Baby Got Back. AW YISS.
My husband is starting to get into kettlebells and kind of wants to do a kettlebell competition, so I’ll pass this along to him. He has a kettlebell at home, although it is quite a bit heavier than the recommended 26 kg one in this article.
I forgot to explicitly mention even the smallest thing about technofeminism or cyberfeminism or explicit feminism anywhere in my thesis, which was largely funded by a feminist organization. Whoops.
I also forgot to even mention that video games as art is a contested state, because of my long practice of flat refusal to even hear the question “but is it _really_ art” and also I forgot people still ask that question of, like, _paintings_ they don’t like, so perhaps that was incautious. Whoops.
Backfill backfill backfill.
Today is my last day in the current position and I start the new one on Monday. I’m a little freaked out!
It should be an improvement but I have trouble seeing it over the anxiety of meeting a whole bunch of new people and not understanding what’s going on for the next few weeks.
YOU WILL BE GREAT. I DECREE IT.
No but seriously, new jobs are stressful but I have faith in you!
You’ll do great!
Finished my cross stitch project!
Pattern from Plastic Little Covers on etsy (working on her Lady Disdain piece now)
I’ve got a Friday-brain today–no desire to get things donewhich is bad because I really need to set up stuff for next week (doing a bunnnnch of info lit classes). Get it together, self.
Your image isn’t showing up, bb.
Shit-snacks. Here it is on my tumblr: http://amyofdoom.tumblr.com/post/77749422344/fini…
I love that! There are so many Mallory tweets I want to embroider or cross stitch, too. She once said something like “pregnancy is fucking metal” and I want to give that to all my friends.
Central FL Toasties? or Central FL Toasties! Do you exist? Am I all alone in this place? Would you like to meet up or start a group on FB or something?
Guys I’m going to see Gregory Alan Isakov on Sunday and I am super pumped because he is the actual best.
Oh my god I JUST saw him last week with Josh Ritter in this beautiful old church and it was really, really amazing.
Josh Ritter is so so so good! True confessions: I also have tickets to see the two of them next week. (To be fair, I got those way before the Gregory Alan Isakov show was announced and that one is like 2 blocks from my apartment and anyway who cares if I spend all my money on concerts WORTH IT)
Ah jealous! He was here two weeks ago in my favorite venue, and I kept going back and forth over whether or not I wanted to go. By the time I decided I did, tickets were sold out.
Yeah, they sold out really fast here too! (I just jumped on the tickets because I got excited.) My sense of the relative fame of musicians continues to be way off, though, because I was pretty surprised.
I love his album that came out this past summer!
If you guys need makeup advice, ask IceBergMama on twitter, she’s the best. I’ve been wearing lipstick this week and it still feels a bit weird but ALSO I get to feel fancy!
Side effect: I WANT TO CALL EVERYONE A DARLING OR A SWEETIE. I just want to hurl terms of endearment around.
I want to unironically call people dollface. This is what I am now.
I like this, dollface is an underused term (by non-creepers).
I unironically call people doll or dollface ALL THE TIME.
I would like to register my agreement that IceBergMama is an excellent Twitter friend and I heartily endorse following her.
This is perfect as I have decided, at 27, I am finally ready to get into make-up.
I’ve been working from home for a few days because one of my friends contracted bacterial spinal meningitis and I may have been exposed, and apparently HR doesn’t want a potential Typhoid Mary on their hands. My friend is in a medically induced coma and being pumped full of antibiotics. This is not a good year to be my friend, 2014 is raking them in :-/
OH MY GOD. All the good thoughts to you and your friend.
God GOD. Many healing thoughts for you and your friend.
Oh god, how terrible. Best thoughts to you both.
can I get an AMEN we have made it to the end of another Mercury retrograde? This week. THIS WEEK. I knew Mercury was getting right because I was biting my nails that Mike Dang hated me but nope, today, right before direct planetting is when my article went up.
Anyway, apartments, grad school, discussing monogomy. Had coffee with best brother friend/gonna be roomies again soon and ran into a total idiot of a dude I dated briefly who was definitely not supposed to be in this country. And he just did a lot of staring. yiss. Also it is cold but that is why you make pork shoulder ragu. Mmm.
WHAT THE FUCK HAS BEEN UP WITH THIS WEEK
edit: and also THANK GOD IT IS OVER
YUP <punches air puts on pump it up music of your choice>. I seriously have been in crying in the bathroom/giddy excitement/more crying/I can’t get out of bed for days.
Truer words have never been spoken (typed?).
This week has been the week I have 1000 things that Need To Get Done, and at every turn, something gets messed up (not majorly, but just annoyingly enough!).
Ooh, I think I need pork shoulder ragu in my life.
lord, it is so easy it is not even funny! I basically tweaked Dinner, A Love Story’s recipe and this time I had no bacon but still. Just get a pork shoulder (I split mine in half because I am broke and miserly). If you have bacon, render some bacon, if not: heat up dutch oven/big pot with a lil veggie oil. Sear that shoulder, render some fat. Take shoulder out. Put in chopped onion (1 is good for me), carrot/celery (your choice! I do a cup), garlic. Get those nice and shiny. Deglaze bottom with wine or one time I used apple cider vinegar. Add shoulder and one can (big can) tomato-diced or whole, your call! Add basil, parsley, pepper, salt. Let come to boil. Put in oven of 325 for three hours and sit in your house smelling ragu.
Oh man, that sounds awesome. Saving that recipe…
OH and, you can eat it right away but it also helps to let it cool down and then reheat it to shred up the pork. Gross food science but all that lovely, velvet mouthfeel collagen breaks down and bulks up the juice. I just mash the pork into shreds with my wooden spoon–that is how tender it is. The first time I made this i basically ate a bowl of it with nothing at all.
I have COMMITTED to breaking out of my winter (cold, so cold) funk and going back to gym. I’m updating my workout playlist and need new kickass song recommendations, so please throw them at me! I need to stay motivated to get strong and punch the patriarchy in the face!
i’ve been on a total riot grrl kick recently but wild flag makes for really good workout jams!
Yes! I need more riot grrl in my playlists. Thanks!
i like the new album from childbirth. (you can listen to [or buy] the whole thing here: http://childbirth.bandcamp.com/album/its-a-girl)
the second track, “i only fucked you as a joke,” features the totally great lyrics, “you’re not that cool and you look like a troll. oh baby, i can’t make good decisions everyday.”
I will definitely have to check this out – those lyrics are awesome!
Janelle Monae! She’s just awesome. Not all her songs are really cardio-friendly, but I’d recommend Faster (The Archandroid), Cold War (The Archandroid), Tightrope (The Archandroid, and my favorite), Q.U.E.E.N. (AWESOME feminist anthem, on The Electric Lady), and Dance Apocalyptic (The Electric Lady). And as inspiration, look up a music video or just clips of her jamming. She’s amazing.
yeah Janelle Monae and Bikini Kill! I love working out to both.
Lately I’ve been on a electro-disco sort of kick, so TV on the Radio, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, (gulp) Deadmau5. But I also like the Amorres Perros soundtrack (if that’s your jam), Solange, Scissor Sisters, and oddly the new Arcade Fire. Also I heard a sweet song called “Set me Free” by Charlie (something?) and it makes me run hard when I try and run, pretending I’m a heroine in some sort of dystopian movie running away from the person who loves me all badass and sad and kicking ass.
OH and the “Bend it like Beckham” soundtrack.
When I want to rock out, I go for The Protomen. They’re not exactly patriarchy smashing but they are high energy and motivating.
OH EM GEE you have heard of Protomen, so I can play my only I-used-to-be-cool card: Panther is/was my high school boyfriend!!!!! Also, he is still a 100% lovely person and the Protomen rock (even if their live shows are a little culty culty). To summarize–check them out, y’all!!
Jos went for an itnerview today (his contract ends next month) and they called to offer him the job TWO HOURS later.
He just has to arrange leaving his current contract on the 24th instead of the 27th!
After being miserable at my job for a long time, I applied for my first new job this week! It would be a completely different field (I’m dealing with a non-compete in my current contract, and I’m not totally enamored with the field anymore) and I think I’d do great at it and really enjoy it. They’re taking resumes for a few more weeks so probably no news for a while, but keep your fingers crossed?
Also I’m feeling guilt about the thought of leaving the field that I have an advanced degree in, so there’s that.
I need to make a major life decision very, very soon. I’ve been putting it off for a long time because of focusing on mental health issues. But those are almost over and I need to make the final leap to trying to be a normal person who accomplishes normal things. It’s been a long time coming, and I’m scared.
Good life decision? Or bad scary life decision? (Either one can be scary.) You can do it! It’s okay to be scared.
Good life decision. Scary b/c it requires a level of trust in myself I haven’t managed before and I’m so afraid this will turn out like all the other times I told myself, “This is it, this is the time.” But it really IS the time now b/c outside circumstances are aligned.
Thanks for replying. It makes me feel a little better.
Best wishes on decision-making and accomplishing things. You’ve got this, bb. You’ve TOTALLY got this.
Thanks! Toasties are the best.
Don’t forget that you are an Amazing Sandwich, and, as Liz Lemon sagely tells us, sandwiches have the power to heal the world.
I hereby CALL ON MY POWERS.
You can do it! It sounds like you have made great strides and you can continue to do so. Plus, little setbacks don’t mean failure, so there’s that. I wish you well on your upcoming decision.
You’re right, I have made strides. It’s been a lonnng time coming. Thank you for the support!
Oh! Guys! I do a pop up brunch once a month, usually based on a theme, and this month’s theme is TOAST! 😀
Menu:
https://scontent-a-pao.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/…
OMG, where can I find this goodness?
What, no toast-themed drink??
Has anyone taken an overnight train trip? Do you want to regale me with delightful stories? I’m on a short jaunt from Toronto to Ottawa right now, and I’m daydreaming about taking a trip next summer from Toronto to Vancouver. Mmmmm Canadian scenery.
I took an overnight trip from Munich to Rome once. It was summer, so very hot and sticky except for when we crossed the Alps, and I shared my compartment with a nice Thai family (the son was reading Twilight translated into Thai). It was kind of a magical experience, but not one I would repeat due to the near total lack of sleep–the seats were very uncomfortable and every time we entered a new Italian province new conductors would come on, in new uniforms, to check our tickets.
I travel by train a lot in France, and I’ve done the night train quite a few times. They have women only cars, which I prefer. I didn’t take that option once, and was in a car with a man who stripped down to his tighty-whiteys. Given how small the cars are, and how little space there is between bunks, his junk was more or less in my face. But I do love feeling the train rock me to sleep, or peeking out the window as we pass through deserted stations.
If you took the Via between Toronto and Ottawa, you went right by my apartment building! I see the trains all the time and I get caught by the one that flies through MWF at 4:47 PM between Toronto and Montreal. Ah, trains.
I did Ottawa to Halifax one time, not with a sleeper. Going out was really fun, and pretty but coming back was really bad. It seemed like everyone who got on for the ride back hot boxed the bathrooms, and watched porn on their laptops loudly, and threw garbage in the aisles. Totally ruined it for me 🙁
How was sleeping in the seats? I assume that it’d be wildly uncomfortable but I’d like to be wrong.
Sleeping in the seats is terrible. It’s always worth upgrading to a sleeper car!
I was actually okay with it! I’ve done a lot of 24 hour bus trips around Mexico (and one Vancouver – Ottawa Greyhound trip!) though, so I might be an outlier.
(Also that is super rude to watch porn loudly [or at all!] on a train. It’s not like you have a Solitary Bubble of Isolation!)
Just this Tuesday!! Although, I’m not sure it counts as overnight because I left my parent’s house in California at 1:45am and arrived in Seattle at 8:30pm. My back and neck are still killing me. I feel like I would actually be fine with this particular train (Amtrak – Coast Starlight) if I had someone to travel with and therefore could get a sleeper car. Sleeping in the seats, no matter how many pillows, blankets, heating pads, percocet, or muscle relaxers you have, will leave you in pain for a while. Which reminds me, I need to call my chiropractor.
Also I like to think that trains elsewhere go faster than 34 mph, and we just got the shit end of the stick on the west coast. There ARE some very scenic parts, southern OR is very pretty, even though it only travels some of the best at night so some of the prettiest areas you would never see on the ride.
I took an overnight trip with my family when I was quite small. They overbooked the cabins, so my parents ended up in a berth (set of berths?) with two quite small children, and I have since gotten the impression that my mother was not precisely thrilled by this. But I thought it was very exciting, so I’m counting it as a delightful story. I got to sleep on the top berth!
And then we got to my moms’ parents, who didn’t know we were coming (my aunt conspired with my parents to make this happen). And my parents hid around the corner of their house and had my sister and I ring the doorbell alone. We were maybe four and six years old, I think? And lived well over 1000 km away. It’s the only practical joke I know of my mom ever pulling, and I believe she does think that this part of the story is delightful.
I took a wonderful overnight train trip about a year ago, during the winter. The train insides were all gold and forest green and our little compartment had like, wall sconces and shit! There was a viewing car to watch the snowy scenery breeze by! Gold handles on the velvet walls! People in attractively cut uniforms to help your stow your luggage!
It was great, very comfy, and price-wise part of a package deal from a travel agent friend, so not too bad if you love trains, which I do. The only downside was the (a) 6 hour delay coming home (snow on the tracks, not like, a Mystery on the Orient style murder) and (b) they didn’t stop at our station so my friend…pulled the emergency alarm.
I’ve done overnight trains in Spain and India. Spain was just a seat, but super quiet and fast. I only have vague memories of how the whole thing went, but I slept well and woke up in the city I intended to, so good enough, I suppose. Sleeping upright was as challenging as it usually it.
India was 2nd class A.C., so full sleeper bunk- basically the car is set up so one side has a row of top/ bottom bunks running parallel to the side of the train, and the other side has roomlets of 4 bunks (two pairs facing) that are set up perpindicular to the train. All bunks have their own curtains, so there’s some sort of privacy. Indian train food is awesome. The part where some guy tried to steal one of my friend’s bags, not so much. Ear plugs helped a ton, and the rocking motion of the train put me straight to sleep.
Both cases, I got to see a ton of scenery that I wouldn’t have seen traveling by air, and got a good amount of reading and napping done.
ALSO, does anyone have a good recipe for coconut filling (to go in between cake layers)? Could I use the custardy part of a coconut cream pie (not actually stolen from a pie, of course)? My dad’s birthday is this week and he requested something chocolatey with coconut.
i dont have advice about coconut filling, but I have made a regular chocolate cake and topped with toasted coconut (coconut + baking sheet + time in the oven) and it was really delicious!
I bought a couple bags of Trader Joe’s roasted coconut chips for topping! They are so delicious and crunchy and I need to not eat all of them.
Those things are so good!
I have made this coconut cream pie http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/emeril-lagasse… and I would totally recommend the custard. And it’s pretty easy to make! Just keep in mind that it would make the cake sort of soggy.
Thanks for the link and the advice! I’d probably seal the cake with a thin layer of buttercream before piling on the custard, to help minimize sogginess. Did it leak a lot of moisture into the pie crust?
No, not at all.
Good to know! I love being able to get info from people who have actually cooked recipes, instead of most recipe comments which are all “this looks great!”
OR what about something like this? http://www.52kitchenadventures.com/2011/03/29/coc… or http://tastykitchen.com/recipes/desserts/coconut-…
Those both look delicious!
What about just coconut frosting instead of pie filling? Thinking it might be more… sturdy?
OK, so my wedding cake was white cake with buttercream (I believe I used coconut milk as the thinning agent). And then between the layers I put about 3 tablespoons of coconut water before the frosting which makes the cake sooo moist omg. I would have added shredded coconut but apparently people don’t like coconut??? This would maybe work with chocolate cake?
I adapted this from a recipe from the bake amenable community on LJ which originally involved a sort of marshmallowy frosting (when I made it, it kind of glooped off the cake, but it also made wayyyyy too much.) If you go with that, shredded coconut is the way to go because it is soooooo sweet. That recipe is here: http://bakebakebake.livejournal.com/3676244.html
Coconut buttercream? I am intrigued. My buttercream recipe doesn’t use any thinning agents (it’s a meringue with butter added…a lot of butter) but flavoring it with a shot of coconut cream/milk sounds like a solid plan.
Also, you baked your own wedding cake? Mad props. I bake other people’s wedding cakes but can’t imagine doing my own.
As I was frosting it 20 minutes before I was due at the altar, practically crying because the buttercream was melting due to the heat and my friggin ganache was solidifying too fast, I decided that, although it added that personal touch we were going for, it was so not worth the stress. (But everyone loved it, so there’s that.)
I don’t have a go-to buttercream recipe (usually it’s whatever Google tells me is the best), but usually they’re butter, powdered sugar, vanilla, and then a couple tablespoons of water/milk as needed to get the right consistency. You could probably trade the vanilla for coconut extract, although I find that coconut milk is just enough coconut to not be overwhelming (esp. if you’re gonna add shredded coconut).
Augh I haven’t baked in so long.
I’m completely infatuated with my buttercream recipe–was never a big frosting fan before but I’d eat this stuff straight. (Then I’d keel over dead, but that’s beside the point.) I’ll have to do some experiments with coconut milk!
I can see how that situation would be…stressful. I did cake for one of my dearest friends this summer and practically yelled at an aunt who decided that a good time to talk to me would be when I was stacking the cake tiers (BAD NO DO NOT) and then about shrieked later when the catering staff told me they had to move it because a part of the buttercream was melting because the sun had moved onto the cake table…I cannot imagine doing that and being the one getting married, too.
It is totally worth it to have good cake, though. Bake a thing soon if you have some time!
Well I’m definitely craving something coconut now, thanks!
Something like this? http://www.kingarthurflour.com/recipes/fudgy-coco…
95% of my baking recipes come from the King Arthur Flour website, although I haven’t tried this one. Reviews look solid, though.
That looks great! KAF is where I get a lot of my recipes too. Good stuff over there.
I FINALLY have purple bits in my hair and it is making me so very happy! Which is objectively kind of ridiculous that it could make me feel joyful, but I keep catching sight of the pieces in my peripheral vision and grinning.
I feel exactly the same. Looking at mine this morning, I realized that I’m going to have to do more purple next time. Also, most of my work clothes are either black or jewel tones, so it always coordinates.
Yo Toast pals! Anyone done/doing the “drink a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar and honey in water every day” thing? This is my third day, my rad hippie roommate couldn’t stress enough how great it was but I am curious if anyone else does it and loves it.
I’m curious about this but I also read that ACV in water can really mess up your teeth so I’m nervous. Tell me how it goes!
I had a roomie do this, and her dentist sat down for a real talk about bulimia with her – I guess the acv strips the enamel off your teeth like stomach acid would. Roomie started drinking it with a straw, and rinsing her mouth with baking soda and water after. Maybe look up ways to immediately neutralize the acid in your mouth?
Right, but doesn’t baking soda also destroy the enamel of your teeth? Maybe not when you swish it but definitely when you use it to brush your teeth because it’s so abrasive. The straw idea sounds interesting, but maybe I’ll just put it on my salads so it’s going all together with oil and lettuce and whatnot.
I don’t drink it straight (I’m on Team, “Supposed Miracles of Cider Vinegar are Hippie PseudoScience Woo”) BUT I have been on this DIY drinking vinegar kick lately so I’m doing something similar. Take fresh fruit, steep in white or cider vinegar for a week, covered with a tea towel or something, strain out fruit then bring to boil with sugar until approaching syrup consistency. End result is super good mixed with some fizzy water (and booze if you’re so inclined).
I had a really hard/busy week and next week’s going to be just as bad, because I haven’t been keeping up very well with my long-term projects. I also realized I’m almost halfway through my first semester of grad school, which is scary because I still feel like I’m just starting to get into the rhythm of the workload (probably part of the reason everything is piling up on me). Also, although I have a pretty high tolerance for alone time, I’m starting to hit my wall; and I have literally zero friends in this city because I moved here for school, and I have no idea how to make friends as an adult. There are some people in my classes I’m starting to become friendly acquaintances with, but it’s really hard for me to figure out how to turn those into real friendships.
On the other hand, I finally got the tattoo I’ve been meaning to get for the last six months, and planning for longer than that. It is literally perfect. Exactly what I wanted, and it looks great, and I’m so happy with it.
I was miserable and depressed through most of grad school. The most important thing for me (besides counseling and antidepressants!) was finding a group of people outside of my program to hang out with. We were very insular and almost all our get togethers were people in the same program, so all the stresses and competitiveness were still there (why are we talking about the projects that are keeping me up at night when we’re suppose to be relaxing? WHY??). I ended up joining an amazing knitting group and that couple hours once a week where no one knew anything about my academics, where no one could minimize my pain (oh come on, the assignment’s not THAT bad…maybe not for you, jerk), and where we had to find completely different things to talk about, kept me sane. So I’d really encourage you to find some sort of group outside your classes! Maybe try checking out some local cafes for flyers, or just search for interesting meet-ups? I really can’t emphasize enough how much it helped. Good luck!! And feeling overwhelmed and isolated completely normal (though sucky) and you’ll make it! Grad school is all about staying power — if you can just hang in there, you’ll get the degree.
congrats on your tattoo and grad school!
Just to echo, it is REALLY hard. And I lived in the city I went to school in. I think you just have to sometimes give into the Stockholm Syndrome of it all–go out for drinks after class (if you drink), see if people are throwing parties (seriously, I had no idea “adults” do this). A big challenge continues to be for me the idea I have to complete everything flawlessly (oh, and I have AWESOME impostor syndrome). Let that one go. Some stuff will not get done, some stuff will not be amazing, and that is okay because we are all very young and learning how to live.
Good luck. Take it easy on yourself. Friends are hard. I am always a fan of volunteering or big group events, though!
I will second the “find people outside your program” advice. I know it is hard when you feel like you are barely getting to know the people in your program, but it is very, very, very helpful to hang out with people who have a perspective beyond grad school.
Athletic groups through your school can be a good resource, if you’re at all interested in any kind of sport at all. I was part of my school’s judo club, which was a nice mix of undergrads, grads, staff and faculty. The undergrads remind you how glad you are to have that part out of the way, the grad students in other programs commiserate, and the staff and faculty provide a reminder that sometime in the future you might have weekends again. If your school has a fancy gym it probably offers classes as well- maybe take something fun (Jazzercise? Zumba? I don’t know, I like throwing people…)
Get into the habit of practicing self care during the early parts of the semester- feed yourself well, get good sleep, get some exercise, whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. Then as the workload piles up at least your body is in a good position to handle the excessive quantities of caffeine, etc. that always seem to crop up at the end of the semester…
Also, in most places I’ve lived it seems like people get friendlier as spring rolls around, so hopefully that will help! And hooray for your tattoo!
Thanks for the advice/commiseration, everyone! I am trying and mostly succeeding at getting better at self-care: sleeping, eating (especially taking some time at least once or twice a week to cook something substantial, because cooking is relaxing/energizing for me, and that way I’ll usually end up with leftovers to eat the rest of the week).
The class/group thing is a good idea, thanks. Right now it feels like adding something else on top of my class/homework/work schedule would be too much, but I think it might actually help add more structure to my weeks and maybe help me work more efficiently, as well as all the social benefits. I do think it’ll get better as spring gets going (hopefully soon). A lot of people have told me that my city is a lot of fun during the spring/summer.
Guys, I am a little sad that I haven’t been able to comment as much as I’d like thanks to work. o_O Hahaha, life is swell if this is my biggest problem this week. Also, should I join twitter? The growing Toastie presence on twitter is making me consider it..
Yes! JOOIIINNNNN UUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
Can I just say that as a recovering boozehound and recently- turned vegetarian, I am (I think) pleasantly surprised by how revolting I find the idea of this week’s cocktail? When like, five years ago I would haver been thinking ‘GIVE ME ALL THE MEATDRINKS’.
I am looking forward to tomorrow. I am going to first of my distance learning tutorials, where we are talking about our choices for our very- mini- dissertation. I will tell everybody that I’m planning to maybe write a 3500 word essay on Freud, Laura Mulvey and Allen Jones’ upsetting fetish chair. Which… is an excellent way to feel like a wierdigan in a room full of people you’ve never met.
The change in taste is interesting, isn’t it!
Um well I am at the very end of my rope with my job, but am in no position to quit/find a better one. So.
Also yesterday I went to the doctor for a first time in over a year and let me just say finding a new doctor who is kind and helpful and a good listener is just the best feeling in the world. I’ve been riding a high ever since, even though my arm was sore all day from the blood draw and I have to go back next week for a pelvic exam. Urgh.
And hey it’s a sunny day in Seattle and at least I can enjoy it through the skylights at work.
I am pregnant and have a cold which means there’s basically nothing I can take for congestion and no medicinal drinking. This is going on the list of things to make the child feel guilty for later, when it is old enough to benefit me.
On the plus side, maternity clothes — especially maternity yoga pants — are comfy and awesome and the world would be a better place if everyone wore them all the time.
There are some things that are safe to take – ask your doctor! I am 34 weeks pregnant and have been talking zyrtec every day for awhile now.
My midwives (who work out of a big official hospital, rather than a tin-roof patchouli-scented shack), gave me a handout that said both non-DM Robitussin and Sudafed were on the “ok to take without asking” list. Your docs may have advised you differently, but there may yet be a way out of the pit of congestion for you. So many pregnant Toastrons!
My Dr says only DM Robitussin, and any OTC cold remedy *other* than Sudafed… It’s a confusing world!
Ugh, I hear you. I’m in between colds at the moment, but still with the CONSTANT postnasal drip. Hang in there!!
Hot showers or the steam room at some gym or spa!
I would probably make a dilute hot toddy with whisky if I were post-first-trimester pregnant, personally, but if you want a non-alchoholic one, then:
hot water + lemon juice + ginger + honey + (your choice: cinnamon, chili powder, or anise)
would still be delicious and decongesting.
Toasties! My work schedule has been super busy lately and I haven’t had nearly as much time to read on here as I’d like. On Wednesday I speedread several articles on my phone while trying to will its dying battery to stay alive for just a few more sentences, which is always fun but not especially conducive to joining in a conversation.
But mostly I just wanted to say: thank you, The Toast, for being such an awesome website with such great articles and such excellent commenters. It’s nice to have a place like this where there’s such thoughtful discussion and such silliness all at the same time… and I miss it when I can’t read it as much. I doubly miss it when I go to work and end up surrounded by people who ought to be banned from the universe for the good of mankind, but I still miss it either way.
can you give an example of a weird thing? wondering if i might have this, too
Toast friends, please send me your best job-interview vibes!! I have an interview for an amazing one- or maybe two-year job opportunity tomorrow a.m. BUT, there are timing issues with maternity leave and whatnot (not worried about preggo discrimination, just worried about when the chosen one(s) would need to ramp up, because although leave can be wrangled, my sense is that it’s much better for everybody, including this mom-to-be, to delay start times if possible). SOOOOO, the most ideal perfect-ever outcome would be to get an offer to start at some later point and then be able to manage the transition, and the baby, and the leave, etc. etc. BUT, better to get the offer than not, which I don’t even have anyway. So. Um. Please think your lovely thoughts in my direction tomorrow!!!
Also, what does a preggo wear to a job interview? Normally I’d rock a suit, but those are sort of out of the question at the moment. I’m thinking black dress, snappy boucle(‘) blazer, stockings? If the blazer is red, do you think I can get away with conservative brick-red pumps? Or is that a bridge too far? He already knows I’m knocked up, and there’s really no hiding behind a big blouse at this stage of the game, so mostly a question of what’s appropriately professional under the circumstances?
Yes, dress and blazer sounds like the perfect combo for pregnant professionalism. Red pumps and blazer sound awesome.
I’m hoping to go to a job fair in a few weeks, but I will be two weeks away from my due date and huge, so I will have a similar dilemma.
So I’ve been highlighting my hair forever but have recently been broke and also have lots of gray. I tried to cover up my roots to hold me over til I could afford to go to the salon with one of those l’oreal “guaranteed” color match dye kits and now, predictably, the top of my head is orange, the bottom is golden blonde, and somewhere in between/underneath it’s my natural light brown. Any Toasties good at hair have a recommendation?? I’m going to get highlights in like 2 weeks so I don’t want to do TOO much to it but I don’t necessarily want to walk around like this either. Toner? Dying it again? Learning to live with it? What do you think?
My mom once had a bad experience with DIY highlighting (after a lot of fine to good ones) and she was able to cover up most of the strangeness by changing her part. So if you have a side part, maybe try switching it for a couple weeks so it’s mostly the light brown showing? Or just flaunt the ombre! Good luck!
Yes, THIS. Parting in a different place helps most hair problems until they can be fixed.
At the very least, people will be distracted by your different part and not notice the oddness.
Get really into hats for a brief spell.
Unfort, I think I look worse in hats than I do with a little carrot top!
I hear you–I look ridiculous in basically all hats. So I couldn’t even take my own suggestion. :-/ I’m sure you still look swell anyway, though!
Job interview this week turned out to be a bust, second job lead evaporated before I could signal interest, fourth leak in my my shitshack roof in three months, and I have no hope of moving without an enormous spike in income. Somebody mix me a vegetarian lambtini, please.
HUGGING YOU REAL TIGHT!
I went home sick today because I’m feeling super nauseated, and everyone flipped out because I’m 34 weeks pregnant. No, it’s probably just a stomach bug, I can drive myself home, thanks.
The baby shower is next weekend, the due date is a month and change away, and I feel woefully unprepared for motherhood, but I’m really excited and so tired and I just want to be done already, can someone get this child out of me?
Feel better! Were all our mothers totally unprepared charlatans as well?
Yes, only they didn’t even have the internet to consult. It’s a wonder any of us are still alive.
I’m super-late to the thread this week, but I hope someone is still around who has read NIGHT FILM. I am about 50 pages in and trying to decide whether to commit. Is it really just about a dude who is obsessed with a mysterious creepy dude and the girl who died to make things happen? (By which I mean, it’s interesting so far, but will there be any living women who make a difference?) Also, if any of the photos coming later on involve bad things happening to people’s eyes, please tell me now; I live in fear of that.
If you’re not sucked in already, it might not be worth your time. Have you met Nora yet? She’s a woman. Who does things. But it is mostly about dumb Scott, doing things. I enjoyed the experience of reading it because I found it very scary and engrossing, and I really loved how well she built out the Cordova universe, but I don’t think it was Super Great or anything.
Not sure about the eye stuff, but nothing I can remember offhand.
I don’t think I’ve met Nora yet; maybe I’ll stick around until I know who she is. I am looking for an engrossing and scary reading experience (but not one that will ruin me forever; I am pretty squeamish for a horror reader), so I don’t mind if it’s not Great Literature. Thanks for your thoughts!
Fedoras: never acceptable on anyone, ever, OR acceptable on dads and also women, because they were made for women and dads look fantastic in everything?
Definitely not acceptable on dads, because there are too many creeps who look vaguely like dads, and I don’t want dads to make that visual overlap worse.
Acceptable on women who think they’re quirky and are twelve to twenty-five years old. After twenty-five, they should aim for a slightly less clichéd category of quirky. Unless it’s not a cliché and I’ve just known an unusually large number of fedora-wearing quirky young women, in which case I have no idea.
Upon further thought, I think they’d also be acceptable on women over sixty.
ok but WHEN DO WE GET OUR VETERINARIAN QUESTIONS ANSWERED though
Hahaha, soon! But she’ll do, like, three or four per column!
Hey hey hey who else here got super old moms or dads? I’m going to drive down and see my folks tomorrow, and every visit, I get secretly shocked at just how elderly they seem. My dad is 81, and a lot of the dadguy I remember is already gone. The Dad Magazine bits on here are universally excellent, but those dads seem so youthful and sprightly in comparison to Actual Dad. My own dad’s issue would be like, “Should you believe everything you read online? Yes! Definitely do that!” And “The Dangers of Flouride” and “Wives: why won’t they respect one’s undectable-by-medical-science secret illnesses?”
I never comment on these because by the time the sun rises, I am SEVEN HOURS LATE TO THE PARTY but today I had to come in to sit for tests on a Saturday and I am nottttt feeelinnn itttt, so, here I am.
I am going on a trip with 5 friends tonight and our group chats about hostel/packing/etc are starting to veer so subtly into “Hey Ladies” territory that I feel a demonic laugh coming on every time I read them.
Also if anyone has any tips on how to style side-swept bangs, hmu, I spent half an hour with a hair dryer this morning and I still look like a moron.
Have a happy Friday, western hemisphere!
I don’t really know anything about styling hair, but the person who cut my side-swept fringe (sorry, “bangs” is just too weird for this Australian) told me to start by brushing the fringe to the wrong side while drying, then the right side and keep going back and forth until it’s dry. It seems to work better on me than whatever I was doing before.
I just tried that today for a graduation ceremony and it seems to be working! thanks pal~
Gah, I was so excited to get to the toast early on Friday (only 200 comments at that point!) and then got distracted and here it is again, Saturday morning OT comment time. Ah well.
I brewed my second beer yesterday and am on track to do a third tomorrow! Two monstrously hoppy American IPAs, which I’ve been yearning for here. Since I want to eventually go commercial, I’ve already thought of a brewery name. I won’t say what it is yet, until I’ve gotten a bit closer to actually being a business, but I WILL say it was inspired very much by the desire to take to the sea, so thankyouverymuch Toast. I decided I couldn’t call it the Misandrist Brewing Co, despite having my husband as a slave to lift things for me and I need to be a gentle matriarch so the manlings give me their money.
I am so late. But, my wife and I coplayed ME3 and had a hard time with the ending. So she’s writing this really great fanfic about what happens next with a big emphasis on Liara and lots of beautiful extra romance with Naomi Shepard and humour and a very cool story arc about how that synthesis idea actually works out. I know there are some femmeshep fans among Toasties so thought I would give you the link. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10138252/1/Breathe
Despite my distinct lack of love for the Miami Heat, I could watch this GIF for hours.
Also, whoo hoo, Mallory!
Oh, figgy…thinking of you and sending you good thoughts and support. I am interested in having a figgy face drawing, but my Twitter pic is not of me – should I just send you one?
You guys, I went to Chicago and Michigan for work at the end of last week, and it was freaking cold. Like, I can’t complain about the cold in Boston anymore cold. But the work went well and I didn’t get frostbite, both good things.
After some Toast threads on LMM earlier this year, I bought a bunch of the more obscure titles from Amazon. On the plane home from Chicago Friday afternoon I read Kilmenny of the Orchard and when I finished I looked out the window and cried and cried. True love and dads, you guys. *sniff*
You guys, I went to Chicago and Michigan for work at the end of last week, and it was freaking cold. Like, I can't complain about the cold in Boston anymore cold. But the work went well and I didn't get frostbite, both good things.
After some Toast threads on LMM earlier this year, I bought a bunch of the more obscure titles from Amazon. On the plane home from Chicago Friday afternoon I read Kilmenny of the Orchard and when I finished I looked out the window and cried and cried. True love and dads, you guys. *sniff*
Toastiesssss
I got a lot of work done on my book project today (it’s a comedic collegiate mystery about a couple of time-traveling ladies). Essentially it came into my mind a few years ago as a rejoinder to another novel about a Certain Women’s College, which I was really angry about (the novel, not the college). Then I realized, fuck it, I’m kinda sick of literary fiction: what this book needs is bureaucratic institutuionalized magic and lesbian flapper makeouts. And so it will be. I’m imagining Toasties reading it one day and it’s very inspiring!
Ahhhhh, this sounds amazing! You have combined many of my favourite things and I’m sure it’s delightful. I am curious to know which of the many Women’s College Novels you were angry about, though–I am a sucker for that whole subgenre as someone who was too conservative at 17 to even consider a school where girls were in charge of things.
It was Commencement, by J. Courtney Sullivan. To be fair, it’s not the worst book, but I had personal reasons for disliking it — I went to Smith at the same time at the author and I think our era there absolutely deserves a Great Novel (it was a very strange and special place in time and space) but that was very emphatically Not It.* She also parodied real people and traditions in what I thought was a pretty lazy and exploitative way.
*I mean, my time-traveling flapper book won’t be, either, but maybe I’ll take a stab in another 30 years
If you are interested in writing letters to friends and others on the regular but don't want to spend Crane-type money, Michael's has these $1.50 bins in the front of the store (they kind of create the check out line) and they sell 6-packs of stationery with matching notebooks, stickers, and other knick knacky things! Some are cute, some are ugly, but they change out the stock every few months.
Mmm, that was hot. Short and spicy and some nice power trading. More, please?