What Leonard Cohen Says When He Wakes Up -The Toast

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Screen Shot 2014-03-06 at 1.30.27 PM1. “The sun’s like a razor you polish at night, just so it can cut you and make you bleed on these sheets.”

2. “You’re beautiful. And all that beauty can get away from you, babe.”

3. “I don’t think we have any muffins.”

4. “Dreams are still pulling at me, sweetheart. I was on the highway, driving for days. I was a trucker. Long distance. You were a whore. Jesus was there. He played cards and showed me the chords to a Townes van Zandt song.”

5. “Let’s sleep in huh? I’m surprisingly old.”

6. “All these mornings, baby. It’s just a zero sum game where the only winner is St Peter. And he’s an asshole.”

7. “I’m not a monk anymore, though.”

8. “We pay a price for love. And sometimes love pays a price for us.”

9.  “Moments get lost. That’s their métier; to become missing. But I don’t want this one to vanish and join the others in the grand invisible parade. This moment needs to be always incandescent, forever visible in all of its flawed perfection.”

10. “I can’t jog this morning. I’m eating turkey bacon. Isn’t that enough? Fuck jogging.”

11. “Well, the ruined world wants to see me again. And I can’t help but be vain about it. So let me wet my razor while you pour the coffee in that nightgown that’s too short. And then, then let me see the world.”

12. “The last time I woke up like this it was in 1975. And she was a cello player.”

13. “I’m not telling you any more Janis Joplin stories.”

14. “This hotel is where love goes to forge papers.”

15. “I only talk in my sleep when I’m not dreaming loud enough.”

16. “What time is it? When did I go to sleep? All I remember is our ghosts arguing while we stayed silent, letting the wine crash against the beaches of our bodies.”

17.  “Do you want to do something today? Or just binge watch OITNB again?”

18. “This reminds me of 1968. Montreal. Belle’s apartment. There were more people, of course. That was the sixties. Always too many people, always not enough beds.”

19. “I think it’s snowing out there. I’m glad we’re in here, where it’s warm. Here, in this bed made of our sins where we trust each other in these sculpted betrayals.”

20. “I hate your roommates. They eat my yogurt.”

21. “Hank Williams III just texted me and asked how lonely does it get. I’m not texting him back yet.”

Kevin Sharp lives in Pittsburgh with his wife and two sons. He tweets @el_ksharp. His novel isn't writing itself.

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