DO MEN CRY?
The Female Tear Duct
In women, tears flow from the eyes and excess tears flow through the tear duct into the nasal cavity. The female’s ample and visible tear flow makes it obvious to surrounding males when she is menstruating, unable to engage in fruitful intercourse, and thus may be avoided.
The Male Tear Duct
In the male, tears are redirected to the salivary glands so that he can spit them out. These salivary tears are filled with testosterone and serve a dual function as a means for other males to assess from scent how they would fare in a fight against the spitting/crying male.
DO WOMEN DEFECATE?
The Male Digestive System
In men, food passes fully through the gastrointestinal tract to be released as fecal matter through the rectum. Methane and hydrogen created during the process of digestion is released through the rectum as flatulence.
The Female Digestive System
Many scientists theorize the female digestive system bypasses the lower intestine entirely by using enzymes to break down food sources and send them back into the bloodstream as attractive things like eyelashes and lipstick.
Tags: amy collier, cartoons, gender essentialism, humor, science
I thought all my food waste was stored up to be released as menstrual spillage, which would explain the urgent need to stock up my body’s store of precious Doritos and ice cream during my menstrual period…
… and which has had me worrying about how this food-waste issue will resolve itself after menopause. Doctors have been reluctant to discuss it.
Women exist after menopause?
I am going to EXIST ALL OVER THE PLACE after menopause CHECK IT OUT FOLKS I AM HERE I AM HERE I AM HERE
Wonderful question, Diaphena. I will send you a science article explaining what happens to women after menopause.
Well, CLEARLY I’m not eating enough – I have to keep applying synthetic lipstick to supplement what my body produces naturally… *hangs head in shame*
By using synthetic lipstick, you’re basically telling your body that it can stop producing natural lipstick. It’s a very common mistake, though…
This is why the beauty industrial complex is an anti-woman CONSPIRACY.
It’s also what the “no poo” movement is REALLY named after.
Onna’s right. If you choose to switch over, expect a minimum of two weeks for your body to adjust and begin producing lipstick again.
Whew, thanks guys!! #naturalbeauty
When I was a kid – before I understood that the the female reproductive and digestive systems, though in close proximity, were not connected – I thought that women were unable to defecate for the duration of a pregnancy, and that the baby and the waste just sort of hung out in the woman’s stomach until birth.
As I aged, I figured that this probably wasn’t the case, but I remained woefully uninformed about human anatomy (among other things) until about 10 or 11, when I discovered by accident the “Sexual reproduction” entry in our encyclopedia. My parents, who were homeschooling my siblings and I at the time, later cut that page out, and I did not receive a word of anything resembling sexual education from them until I started my period just before entering high school.
Thankfully, the worst things that befell me as a result of being so sheltered from knowledge about my own body were some embarrassment when I finally learned these things for the first time in a high school health class, and a residual sense of shame. I’ve recently come to realize that other people were not so lucky. This is preaching to the choir, I know, but not teaching young people about how their bodies work is dangerous!
Happy I could demystify the digestive process and explain how it REALLY works.
Thanks for clearing that up! I have a lot of feelings about the culture of shame that surrounds bodies, especially female ones, in this culture, so launched right into those and neglected to mention how much I loved your cartoon.
I loved your cartoon!
Cordelia, it is questioning natures like yours that fuel the pursuit of scientific knowledge!
Also, I assume you mean my fact-based article full of inarguable science, in which case I thank you.
I’d like to thank you. I’ve always been ashamed to ask whether women defecate and just assumed that everybody else knew what was going on.
This really clears things up. Now I can go out with my head held high and know the truth that when women say they’re going to the toilet that they are just going to talk about me in the bathroom.
Danny, it’s important to address these issues head on in order to facilitate better human understanding.
“Facts are the air of scientists. Without them you can never fly.” —Linus Carl Pauling
Gross story alert:
When I was a kid, I technically knew about the separation between the two systems, but I STILL had nightmares about pooping out miracle babies and once I dreamed that I had to poop AND get the baby out at the same time, which was terrifying, so the baby (or poop? it got confused, I like to think it was the baby) went backwards out of my mouth. DISGUSTING, right? nightmares of an eight-year-old. (Turns out I’d managed to shove a huge chunk of waist-length hair in my mouth while asleep. Thereafter, I carefully braided my hair before bed so that I wouldn’t eat it while dreaming.) The worst part is that it’s been 22 years and I still remember that dream vividly.
minus the testosterone part, you just describes how molly millions/sally shears manages to cry in the sprawl trilogy.
So this means that baseball players are the saddest men ever, all the time. I suspected as much.
Who says there’s no crying in baseball!
Scientifically speaking, men reach their saddest peak while at sport.
This is why the beauty industrial complex is an anti-woman CONSPIRACY.
It's also what the "no poo" movement is REALLY named after.
Danny, it's important to address these issues head on in order to facilitate better human understanding.
"Facts are the air of scientists. Without them you can never fly." —Linus Carl Pauling
Glad you brought up the lasers. Tear ducts are full of so much science.
Scientifically speaking, men reach their saddest peak while at sport.
Now I wonder if women whistle while peeing
Zie blinded me with SCIENCE!
Venturing outside the realm of science for a moment, a thoughtful thing to do when you see your male friends spitting, is to gently rest your hand on his shoulder and ask “Do you need to talk about something?”
Venturing outside the realm of science for a moment, a thoughtful thing to do when you see your male friends spitting, is to gently rest your hand on his shoulder and ask "Do you need to talk about something?"
Wonderful question, Diaphena. I will send you a science article explaining what happens to women after menopause.