Details of a Baroque library
This post is sponsored by Michael as a present for Marija.
Statues (via)
You need an ever present audience to appreciate such monologues as “Where Did All My Money Go Why Did I Spend It All On This Library” and “Oh God I’m In So Much Debt How Will I Crawl Out of This Debt.” Inanimate statues will do for yelling ideas like, “I’ll sell everything else—everything else,” alone in your library. The best statues appear noble, brooding, or listening.
*
Globes (via)
Sell some of your furniture, and procure really nice antique globes. The kind that aren’t up to date so you can say to your statues, “Look, look, do you see this? It says USSR!”
*
Spiral Wooden Staircase (via)
You need somewhere to pace up and down thinking of ways to get by without having to sell your dead sister’s jewelry.
*
Wrapping Balcony (via)
Ever since the self-imposed financial ruin brought on by your wild library scheme, sometimes you contemplate jumping off. So far your statues have talked you out of it.
*
Ladder (via)
You’ll want to be able to do that thing where you slide the ladder down the bookcase to quickly retrieve the book most pertinent to your current conversation, monologue, or thought. “‘I wish I hadn’t built this library,’ said Pete,” you read from Dante’s Inferno, and snap the book shut, thoughtfully.
*
Old Maps (via)
“Maybe I can flee this land forever and never return,” you think as you unroll an old map and place it on a book stand in a huff of excitement.
*
Book Stands (via)
“Goddamn it, there are so many miscellaneous objects I didn’t consider would be necessary for outfitting a dream library,” you tell your 300-year-old book stand.
*
Navigation Instruments (via)
These can include a compass, that dangly thing that looks like a cross between a compass and a clock — we’ll call it a sea compass — one of those tiny globes that move around in the boxes, and whatever the thing in this picture is. Their intended use is in case anyone visits and wants to know if you’re traveled and worldly, or for possible permanent escape.
*
Telescope (via)
This is for when you need to look out the window and try to forget about your dream library.
*
Windows (via)
For the daytime version of your library you need some natural light. How will your library illustrate the romance of pursuing knowledge if you can’t see dust particles floating in sunbeams? How are you going to achieve enlightenment without light? Where else would you gaze out forlornly when the decision of having sold the bracelet Alex wore at her wedding weighs too heavily on your shoulders?
*
Reading Lamp (via)
These are good for nighttime, or when you need to draw curtains over the light because its presence only further depresses you. I use the term “lamp” broadly — a chandelier, candelabra, or wall sconce will do just fine. A fireplace also works well for burning painful reminders of happier times.
*
Desk (via)
This is where you can sit and write things, like your will.
*
Cabinets (via)
Cabinets are good for hiding precious objects, such as the rarest volumes in your book collection, random naturalistic things like antlers, and what remains of Alex’s belongings.
*
Large Wooden Door (via)
You are done with the rest of society. You have no need for it and it has no need for you. Everything you need is right here in your dream library. Everything. You are here, living your dream life.
*
Paintings (via)
Maybe they’re frescoes, maybe they’re hanging on the wall; preferably they’re a nod to the mythic, dead, or divine. This will set you back at least the car you no longer use now that you spend all your time in your paper dungeon.
*
Wooden Ornament (via)
Be it plain wood or gilt, this is pretty important for the whole grandeur element. Whether worked into moulding, balustrades, columns, or arcades, you’ve got a lot of options on how to execute this ornamentation. But execute it you must. You could get away with structural integrity as ornament — for instance, take the medieval route and go with the hammerbeam, scissor truss, or queen-strut roof. But if you’re set on baroque, you’re gonna have to lay it on reeeeeal thick with the gilt and add some marble and ceiling frescoes and sell the rest of Alex’s things.
*
Shelves (via)
Not just any shelves, but floor-to-ceiling shelves. These shelves must be massive and architecturally cohesive with whatever wooden ornament path you’ve decided to take. They must complement arches and alcoves, they must be tiered and curved and exquisitely carved. They must help you forget everything up to this point in your life.
*
Books (via)
Congratulations, you have reached the final step in outfitting your dream library. Nearly as important as wooden ornaments, books are a true decorative staple and your library would look pretty dumb without them. True, you no longer own many clothes, carry any sort of insurance, or have access to the rest of your property. But this is what you wanted, isn’t it? This was your dream. Now, throw yourself into the escapism of literature.
ok but which libraries are these pics of, because I like visiting fancypants libraries. I recognize a few in this post (Trinity College for one) but obviously need to add others to my list.
I also touch the books when no one is looking, because I am the least dangerous type of rebel.
The links are underneath each photo, where it says “via” and most of them are fully identified from Wikimedia.
In most cases what has been added are links to the images, not to the pages associated with the images–pages where not only information about each library is found but, more importantly, where the attribution for the photographers lies. Those photographers make their work available to share under a license that requires that they be credited. Linking to the image file (let alone publishing without any sort of credit, as was originally done) doesn’t meet the terms of their license. I would have hoped that The Toast would help make sure that its writers can adhere to the licensing terms of the images they use.
For others who might have missed my post or my later comment, all the information about these photographers and about the libraries depicted can be found in my compilation at http://sarahwerner.net/blog/2016/01/what-those-li…
Can’t. Surpress. Giggles.
Oh, this is the best. I’ve been having the worst day, and this is making me laugh so hard.
I am in the process of purchasing a home that has a (non-wooden) spiral staircase that goes up to a completely extraneous loft. The money I make from selling Alex’s things is going towards hiring burly minions to carry box upon box upon box of books up the stairs.
I think we all know what comes next.
i enjoy in my soul that the author worked in selling Alex’s things _specifically_, because I know in my bones this is how my partner would do, should I knock off.
Ummmmm these pictures are making me feel things. In my lady parts. Hashtag NSFW.
Please don’t fuck the library.
I have a strong feeling that this isn’t the first time that phrase has been uttered here at The Toast….
The abbey library in St. Gallen has a mummy in it! I couldn’t find a photo of it, unfortunately – visitors are not allowed to take pictures inside and I guess the mummy isn’t a top priority for the official photographers (which… why the heck not?)
I guess that makes sense – both old books and old mummies need rather dry air and no direct light. Why not combine both? Beside, some of the visitors in manuscript and rare book collections could pass as mummies themselves, too…
Alex was a loving sister. I’m sure she would understand.
I think I shall cuddle up inside this post and wake up in May.
The Huntington Library in California was built with a large amount of Robber Baron/Alex’s money and is VERY nice. The grounds have shrieking white peacocks and a lovely garden, should you wish to read outside and contemplate whether or not to sell your heirloom roses in exchange for a first edition of Poe’s Tamerlane.
Lovely gardens/. There are bunches of them and they’re all beautiful. One of the best trips I made during a doomed stint living in LA.
Oops, screwed up the html 🙂
not peacocks, but screaming hordes of green parrots, according to legend the descendants of a dramatic petshop escape.
Paper dungeon.
*laughsob*
Yes but we actually are going to have a room in our new house that’s “the library”.
I mean, it’s going to be IKEA shelves full of thrift-store-purchased sci-fi novels, but still, it’s “the library”.
US, TOO! We’ve finished painting “the library” and have built half of our Billys. Next for making them look custom by spending an obscene amount of time adding moulding, spackling the shelf holes closed, etc. I can’t wait to unload our boxes full of library book sale and rummage sale paperbacks.
Aw, yeah! We have a small front room with a fireplace and I’m all, “These IKEA shelves with glass doors are TOTALLY the same thing as oak built-ins from 1910!”
I plan on removing the cheap backing, priming and painting everything the same color as the room (and also the room, because it’s not painted yet) attaching them to the wall, and moulding them to make them look built-in. Maaaaybe I’ll get it done before we move, eventually, but probably not! Such a big dreamer, so little help.
I feel like they’ll be less sturdy without the backing, even if those backings are like cardboard, so make sure to add some cross bracing.
We have a library that matches that description. Ours does also have a couple of globes in it (tiny ones, on some bookends, that we got from the grocery store, of all places), but somehow people seem to recognize it as a library before noticing them.
It’s not quite “wall yourself in, live inside your books forever” though.
Yes!! 90% of why we bought the house we did was that my husband and I saw the loft space and were like…A LIBRARY AT LAST. WE HAVE A LIBRARY.
We haven’t put up all of the books yet (we did just move) but every time I go up there and see the (Target) bookshelves and the big comfy chair by the window to read them on, I just get so happy.
Let’s be real: thrift store sci-fi novels are the dream. Leather-bound Sir Walter Scott can bite it.
We have a library / dining room / conservatory.
It has my grandmother’s dining room table (with 6 leaves), a lovely west facing window for our ginormous house plants, and 5 sets of bookshelves (3 particle board, 1 wood one that my former roommate and I made in grad school, and 1 Ikea one with glass doors on the top and wood doors on the bottom). And many, many paperback books and a comfy chair for reading said books.
Billy bookcases (with the extension on top if you have the ceiling height) can actually look quite nice, TBH. We have them in our bedroom/library, and they look reasonably fancy. Since we got the dark finish, folks often don’t spot the flat-pack origin of our bookcases, which is hilarious.
Yep I wake up every morning to four Billy bookcases (and one hungry cat), and the temptation to forget everything in my life up to this point is definitely there.
Someday you’re going to wake up to three Billy bookcases and a sated cat.
At least he’ll be a well-read cat.
Yeah, we have three overflowing Billys right now and will probably get two or three more once we’re moved in. They’re pretty excellent.
When I was growing up, my parents moved us into a bigger house that had an extra room, which they offered to us kids as a possible game/hangout space. We opted for a library. All my parents’ friends were like “You know how weird your kids are, right?”
Needs a large, plush fainting couch
My life is not exactly on track in many ways, but having achieved a large old velvet fainting couch to live next to my book cases is one of my successes. It’s every bit as cool as you think it is – highly recommend.
Damn it, I think I need a book stand. Or three. This is clearly what has been missing from my life
Why can’t I just have nice regular library fantasies where no one’s in debt
Nautical person here; the thing in the picture is a sextant, which is used for taking fixes from stars or, more commonly, from the sun.
When it reaches its zenith (at noon, by the old definition – naval officers would start a new day at noon as measured by the point the sun started going down instead of up.) you use the sextant to align the sun with the water, thanks to some freaky mirrors and then you do some maths to work out where you are.
This plus clocks was how we managed to sail around ‘discovering’ new continents before GPS.
Ha! I’m not letting the sort of lubbers who don’t know a sextant when they see one into my library!
Oooh, I’ve read about sextants! Never knew what they looked like (generally pictured a protractor). Thanks for the additional context details.
No worries! That one is actually fairly simple – if you’re reading naval fiction, they’re probably more likely to be brass. Modern ones (my mate had an old WW German one) are boring, either camouflage or plastic white/black.
I really love talking ship, so if you have any questions let me know! (just please, don’t ask about great circles and the finer points of celestial navigation…)
Wait, a sextant isn’t some sort of minor official in the Church of England…?
I didn’t know what the thing in the picture was, but a guy at work who I’d previously not really paid attention to saw this post over my shoulder and just said “Huh. Sextant.” then went back to whatever he was doing and I swear to God I’ve already planned our wedding? I’m thinking July.
Hehe you said sextant…
I am only surprised that the Rijksmuseum library isn’t in these pics. Not enough statues?
This reminds me of the Christmas Village Guy and now I feel very defensive about my library fantasies. THEY’RE NOT LIKE THAT, OKAY, I ONLY WANT A FEW BALCONIES AND ANTIQUE GLOBES.
All of our library fantasies are fine. Even the most baroque among them.
who or what is the Christmas Village Guy?
prepare to widen your eyes in horror: http://thewalrus.ca/playing-god/ (The jewelry selling is what made me think of him!)
OH MY GOD
I was convinced that had to be fiction, despite the memoir tag, until I found his twitter account with more photos of his village and a screenshot of a local news story on his village…
There’s also a video of him and his village (including miniature Victorian him walking around the village)!
This guy sounds like a jerk, (especially when talking about his wife) but the one he mentions with the massive village is adorable. My eyes definitely welled up. http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_27029262/t…
This may be one of the best statements I’ve ever read: “My greatest fear? That this world will pass me over like I would a miniature man in a top hat, like something it has seen 1,000 times already and will see 10,000 times more.”
I would like to have a dream library, but failing that I would accept a statue friend to talk to and for my cats to lounge on.
Belle’s might still be my favourite. My childhood lied to me!
The real star of Beauty and the Beast was that library we all grew up to want.
Bitches love libraries, after all.
Fuck Stockholm Syndrome, that’s the real reason why she stayed there.
My parents still have a globe with the USSR on it. I have coveted it ever since I was old enough to like things ironically.
I have the globe I had since elementary school (1986ish?) that is wonderfully outdated and I’m never letting it go.
Mine have an atlas with East and West Germany.
My room* is bookshelves, loaded primarily with library books, and a mattress on the floor, so obviously its time to to sell some jewelry.
*6×15′
No, it’s time to loft your mattress into the air so you have more space for books underneath! Who cares if you bonk your head on the ceiling occasionally…not that I would know anything about this totally fictional scenario that bares no resemblance to my actual life…
i do plan to get a loft bed! The room is narrow (and not terribly tall) so there’s no margin of error; I’ve got to be real careful choosing furniture…
When I was in high school the house we lived in had a two-story library. And we had a book stand with an enormous old dictionary on it. That is the closest I will probably ever come to this dream and now I am sad, however my sister is still alive which is pretty important.
The second room (not the one I sleep in) would be all shelves. For books, and also for yarn. There would also be a table for my sewing machine and enough space for the ironing board. There would be a big cosy chair and maybe some music (Hamilton!!) and I would never get anything else done, I would just stay there forever. Everyone would get good mittens and socks and such though.
This is basically the second bedroom in my apartment. It has my massive roll top desk (totally drool worthy), bookshelves on every wall, and a closet full of yarn and crafting supplies next to the second desk which holds my sewing machine. It is the perfect room except for the comfy chair, which is in my living room, but the apartment is small, so it is only about twenty steps from the library/office/spare room
There is no end to what would be sold for the spiral staircase
That is an utterly gorgeous staircase.
What do you mean, “dream” library? Isn’t this what all our libraries look like…?
Curious about what libraries are shown here? I tracked them all down (I can’t help it; I spend a lot of time in libraries, not to mention dreaming about them!): http://sarahwerner.net/blog/2016/01/what-those-li…
“Oscar Isaac in a comfy chair big enough for two.”
Really, the rest is just gravy.
I’ve always wanted to sit in a library by a fireplace, sipping a fine whisky while wearing an elegant red velvet coat and striped pants. I’d read some Virginia Woolf, quietly, serenely. At some point I’d place the book down and gaze meaningfully at nothing, taking a long sip of my oaky whisky. Then, without warning, smash my glass of whisky into the fireplace and shout “DAMN YOU VIRGINIAAAAAA!”
did you mean: my aesthetic
In most cases what has been added are links to the images, not to the pages associated with the images–pages where not only information about each library is found but, more importantly, where the attribution for the photographers lies. Those photographers make their work available to share under a license that requires that they be credited. Linking to the image file (let alone publishing without any sort of credit, as was originally done) doesn't meet the terms of their license. I would have hoped that The Toast would help make sure that its writers can adhere to the licensing terms of the images they use.
For others who might have missed my post or my later comment, all the information about these photographers and about the libraries depicted can be found in my compilation at http://sarahwerner.net/blog/2016/01/what-those-li…
My life long dream of being a hermit living in this exact composite library and some how just getting paid to read and talk about books is in constant conflict with my other life long dreams of living on a small boat or in a van as I wander national parks collecting songs and stories from the local communities I pass through on my anthropological ramblings… Minimalism + Bibliophilia = constant crisis.
This is basically the second bedroom in my apartment. It has my massive roll top desk (totally drool worthy), bookshelves on every wall, and a closet full of yarn and crafting supplies next to the second desk which holds my sewing machine. It is the perfect room except for the comfy chair, which is in my living room, but the apartment is small, so it is only about twenty steps from the library/office/spare room
Ah, see, candle dribbling IS a craft! Pratchett was right!
I have only just seen this article but how I wish I could own such a place and thank you for writing it plus the giggles over poor 'Alex'