Anna Pulley’s previous lesbian haiku work can be found here.
Illustrator credit: Kelsey Beyer
Where are all the real people?????
Open-minded,
non-judgmental girls only please!!!
No bisexuals.
*
Why is a good friend so hard to find??
We must free the
libido from orgasmic
tyranny! Namaste!
*
Not drauma!!!
Im a nice,healthy.
active,mentally girl!
Please be educated!!!!!!!!
*
You: Into piercings, rectal exams, immobilizing bondage, colonic irrigations, enemas, nipple torture…
Must also love hugs
and Dance Moms. Long Term
Relationship Possible!!!!!
*
Protest the inaccurate portrayal of snakes as cruel villains in the media!!!
Snakes are lovable
and deserve our empathy!! Join the
caussssss August 3!
*
Not looking for ms. wrong Beth Miller!!!!
No men, no couples,
no flakes, no games, no one named
Beth Miller that whore!
*
Don’t feel blue, feel indigo!!!!
Want a “a love that’s true?”
shall we “multiply life
by the Power Of Two?!?!!”
*
Butch Tenors and Altos Sought!!
Female-identified
butches needed to
perform “classical songs.”
*
RE: Not looking for ms. wrong Beth Miller!!!!
DON’T LISTEN TO MY
BITCH EX CINDY! SHE CAN’T
PAY RENT OR ATTENTION!!!!!
*
I can’t assemble this fucking IKEA bedframe
You: Can read instructions
with no words. Me: Have
Allen Wrench, won’t travel.
*
RE: Butch Tenors and Altos Sought!! (REVISED)
Ad was not a sex
request!! Stop sending pics of
your “classically trained” “flute”!!
*
…. the ikea one sounds promising.
“CLASSICALLY TRAINED”
It’s the quote marks that make it.
I am a master of IKEA furniture assembly, I should give her a call.
“she can’t pay rent or attention” that is the sickest burn I have ever read.
Zeugma is underused in the world of burns.
Ooooooo, thank you for teaching me a new word!
Stop sending pics of
your “classically trained” “flute”!!
– That made me lol for real.
And I love the irony of the first one (I’m open minded, I just don’t like bi girls)
There is nothing better than finishing an ikea assembly. Kitchens are the best tbh, but any furniture project is nice
I have a bunch of half-opened ikea boxes full of compressed wood that didn’t make it under the “fuck moving I’m done” wire that could use some attention.
I have lost the Allan wrench.
Laydeez.
I have many allan wrenches.
“Must also love hugs” because yes.
“She can’t pay rent or attention” is a fine example of zeugma and I love it so much.
zeugma is a fantastic word and you are a beautiful tropical fish for sharing it with me so that I can now use it as a name for a cat or something
omg I read that and thought, “I bet someone has named their cat Mr Zeugma.”
I love zeugma only slightly less than I love tmesis.
absofuckinlutely
These are horrifyingly accurate.
The snake ad made me snort my water. “Join the/caussssss August 3!” Dying.
As much as I love assembling IKEA furniture, i’m now surprised I have made no love connections over this inclination.
WOMEN for Women
Really want this bad
Yes I Have a boyfriend and
He will be watching
Needing a Woman’s Touch
Yes I need it can’t
explain it but you know I
hear women have hands
I have to mention the illustration b/c I just realized Kelsey Beyer and not Anna did it. It is amazing and perfect.
I am always trying to keep my cat away from the Jameson’s
Looking to explore..
Friends first!!!! And probably
last. Gay women DO want sex
who knew? not me sry!
Topless Tuesday!
Flash me back ladies!
I am definitely not a
creeper or a man!!
RE: Butch Tenors And Altos Sought!! (REVISED)
It just so happens
that the photo I sent you
was a piccolo.
+1000 for haiku form
+10000 for the laugh
Would answer the Indigo Girls one in a heartbeat and we would speak only in IG lyrics for the duration of our relationship.
I saw the comment text before the username and still immediately thought “Hey, it’s Layla!”
It would have been even easier in a post about cats.
I am very much in love with the Toast as a place where a post of WSW haiku a) exists and b) has a comment thread with two separate people bringing up the slightly obscure name of an excellently deployed figure of speech but absolutely no dick pics.
possibly the best illustration ever.
“Beth Miller” is my mother’s name
but she is a straight lady in the midwest so
As far as you know.