Every Lesbian Movie Ever Made, In Haiku -The Toast

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Home: The Toast

Anna Pulley’s previous lesbian haiku for The Toast can be found here

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Illustrator credit: Kelsey Beyer

Girl has sexual

awakening with teacher/

roommate/friend. Dies.


Girl has horrible,

traumatic past, present, and

future. Then she dies.


Girl has sexual

awakening with drug addict.

Drug addict dies.


Girl has sexual

awakening. Kills her

mother/lover for “funsies.”


Girl has sexual

awakening during Holocaust.

Everyone dies.


Girl has sexual

awakening, but decides

she likes men better.


Girl doesn’t have a

sexual awakening,

but she shaves her head!


Gina Gershon wears

a tight-fitting tank top. Sorry,

something else happened?


Straight-looking girl goes

gay. Male director slowly

jerks off for three hours.


Married lesbians

suffer from bed death, but are

still great parents!


Hetero subplot

added to make straights feel

better about “gay stuff.”

*

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