Happy Halloween, Toasties! My mom sent me a box of persimmons that my friend immediately misidentified as “baby-pumpkins.” I’m so grateful for my mom, and persimmon, and friends, and candy. And pumpkins. Share your carvings or costumes or tales of all saints (or no saints at all)!
Calling all DC, Maryland, and Virginia Toasties!
Some of you asked last week to be added to the Toast DC Google Group. I learned that I personally couldn’t add anyone, but I sent everyone’s names to the group coordinator, (Toast commenter JocastaCarr). Hopefully she will be able to get you added if you haven’t been added already.
Additionally—is anyone interested in doing a DC/Maryland/Virginia meet-up? There have been small gatherings such as Trivia Night at Politics and Prose bookstore and there’s a book group that meets occasionally, but if anyone’s interested in getting together, we should put something together!
Hey can you send her my name (if I didn’t already ask you to)?
[Not sure if people are seeing my response so I’m just replying to each person who asks] – E-mail me at [email protected], and I will invite you to the group!
This is a good idea!
I’d love to join in on a meet-up before I leave the area. I forgot to ask to be added to the group last week, though–who should I email/talk to about that?
[Not sure if people are seeing my response so I’m just replying to each person who asks] – E-mail me at [email protected], and I will invite you to the group!
Ah! I didn’t see the post last week – is it possible to get my name added to the Google Group as well?
YES HELLO, I am here for this! The happy hour thing we did at Policy for the toastiversary (I think) was great, except for how Policy was terrible. Anyone interested in going somewhere else? I’m trying to think of big places and the only thing I can think of off the top of my head is Union Pub, but surely there are better options.
How many people came last time? Trying to think of places that may be good for an alternate location.
Oh gosh, I’m not great at that. Thirty? Part of the problem at Policy was that they put us all one one check, which was a big problem for so many people.
does it need to be a bar/bookstore? because it might work to meet up at a museum or something. the National Portrait Gallery has that cool atrium thingy right in the middle.
ETA: although since they tend to close kind of early during the weekday, it might only be feasible for a weekend.
oh, can I get added to the group? I’d love to get in on the book group. And may also be interested in other meetups
[Not sure if people are seeing my response so I’m just replying to each person who asks] – E-mail me at [email protected], and I will invite you to the group!
YES
Hi all – Thanks Arsenio for this. I’ve been really terrible about keeping up with the group in the past few months (combo of new job business and personal life struggles), so just wanted to give my apologies to everyone in the group who’s been waiting on an approval or scheduling the next book club meeting. I’ll catch up on everything today. If you aren’t in the group but want to be please send your gmail address to [email protected]. Would love to help organize or just attend a DC Toastie meetup!
Jocasta–you’re the best!
Thanks 🙂 I’m looking forward to seeing all of you again soon!
Me too please! Should I post my email here?
[Not sure if people are seeing my response so I’m just replying to each person who asks] – E-mail me at [email protected], and I will invite you to the group!
Guys I’m so excited about this!
Yes! I just moved to DC and I am definitely interested!
I would be up for a greater DC meetup! Also, for those who missed trivia night, it was really fun! There were enough of us for two teams, Wry Toast and Teenage Dirtbags, and Teenage Dirtbags won!
French Toasties! I made a Facebook group so we could plan meetups: hop in! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1540490569522109/
Obviously, you’re also welcome if you’re only passing by, or are planning a trip in the future.
Hi Frenchies! I am not really near France, but I’m not all that far, so I’l check in when I’m nearby!
Hello French Toasties (Frenchies? Discuss!) I am a day late because I’m in Australia but, insh’Allah, in about a month I might be in France! I will lurk on facebook and hope I can actually say dates or something soon.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
What are you dressing up as?
I’m casual cosplaying Kate Bishop today (the I <3 Hawkeye cover). I doubt anyone will get it, but it makes me feel like a badass.
BATGIRL. Awkward Batgirl if we’re being 100% honest.
ME TOO! Casual Friday Batgirl all the way.
A failed Pinterest hair tutorial.
I LOVE THIS.
PICS
I have had zero energy for costume planning, so I plan to take random shit from my house– including at the least a tutu, a plastic pig and an axe, telling people I’m Capitalism and giving them a withering eye roll if they try to ask me what that means.
Squid Vicious, noted undersea rocker.
PICTURES PLEASE
OH GOD YES PICTURES. PIIIIIIIIIIICS.
yesss
OMG <3 <3 <3
I will have to post pictures next week, but I’m going as some kind of amazing horned demon woman and I’m 99% sure everyone will think that I am Maleficient (sp?) but you know what, that’s okay.
Already did my Halloweening at a party last weekend, and went as a Plague Doctor. It was cheap and effective, which is how I likes my costumes. Tonight I sit around in my N7 hoodie as Lazy Commander Shepard.
this is awesome and spooky as helllll
Thanks! :3
You look AMAZING.
<3 !
yesss kate bishop.
i’m dressing up as edgar allan hoe. well, edgar allan poe for work, but hoe by night.
I NEED TO SEE THIS
i just posted a photo below!
Weren’t you hot George Washington last year? I remember because 1. my bff and I had dressed up as Baberaham Lincoln and Titty Roosevelt so I was very excited that someone else was on our level and 2. I’m a creep.
Anyway we need pictures please and thank you
i was indeed sexy george washington, or as a friend said, “georgeous” washington.
here is the work appropriate version. tonight, a more realistic fake mustache (i can’t wear that thing all day) + lots of cleavage, haha.
yesssssssssssss
your raven is legit!
I did this last year! It was very fun even though lots of people just seemed to think I was like, sexy funeral goer or something.
great minds think alike! cackling at “sexy funeral goer” though.
PS i went to city lights for the first time a few nights ago, which is ridiculous because i’ve lived in the bay area all my life. but the point is: what a wonderful bookstore!
I am ScarJo’s character from Lost in Translation (with a pink wig), and my husband is the Bill Murray character. We’re leaving for Japan tomorrow, so we thought it’d be appropriate.
At work, so I’m a fairly subtle witch. Black dress with white pinstripes, tights, witchy boots, and lime green nail polish. Witches hat on my coathook.
Rejected ideas were “Satanic Kindergarten teacher” (maybe not work appropriate) and “log lady from Twin Peaks” (too prop-dependent).
Kate Bishop is my faaaave!
Log lady! I’m putting that in my back pocket for future halloweens.
There’s a great pic of a Log Lady holder her infant in a Log Onesie. Back pocketed for future halloween with kid.
I was Log Lady last year! It was great, although my arms did get tired, and once you put down the log you’re really just Lady in Ugly Sweater.
I am a Casual Vampire, which basically means I dress just as I would any other day (jeans, sneakers, comfy sweater) but add the snap-in vampire fangs I bought years ago at Hot Topic.
So far only one person has noticed my costume. I’m hoping everyone else is left with a general and growing sense of unease that Something is Different, but are too polite to comment.
I’m wearing my Halloween maternity shirt (it’s an x-ray with a plain baby skeleton over the belly). I would love to share pictures of my two year-old’s Halloween costume this year, because it’s Red Riding Hood and she keeps calling the hood her “Superman” cape. However, when trying it on this morning the dress ripped beyond repair, and the hood was kind of choking her, so instead she is going to be a cheeseburger and she is going to love it just as much as a red cape. Happy Halloween!
My trivia team dressed as Disney princesses last night (pictures FORTHCOMING), but for actual Halloween my dude and I are doing Princess Bride. I AM VERY EXCITED Halloween is the best.
I went to a party last weekend (today I’m not dressing as anything, it’s Holland), and the theme was “Drag Me to Hell,” so I bought a “bishop” costume because I thought that would be funny. I get to the party and my friends all say “Sinterklaas!”, the Dutch equivalent to Santa Claus, because that’s really what the costume was. Sinterklaas is a bishop so it makes sense! It actually worked out well because everyone at the party found it hilarious.
I’m Tina Belcher-ing it up! I even already had a model horse in my house because I am very cool and accepted socially.
My sister and I were going through boxes yesterday and she found a perfect Linda Belcher wig, but she can’t find her red shirt. 🙁
my porcelain horse! horselain!
i really hope i see lots of tinas tonight, honestly. she makes me so happy.
My friend did this last year! She attached a thought bubble to a headband. All the thought bubble said was “Butts.”
ohhhhh what an excellent idea!
Last weekend, I went to a party with a heated pool, so I wanted a costume that would be warm enough for me to wear to the party but that would still be recognizable when I was in a swimsuit. I ended up going as Jadzia Dax from DS9 and painting the Trill spots all the way down my body.
That is awesome.
Office Halloween has turned into the even spookier Day I Learned No One Else In This Office Watches Parks & Recreation. Because of this, I am sharing this with The Toast, where it will hopefully be appreciated:
THIS IS PERFECT. Pathetic, claymation video-making Ben Wyatt!
YOU ARE MY HERO OH MY GOD
OMG OMG OMG that is the best.
Also you should quit your job immediately.
I’m doing Starlord tomorrow for another party, so I’ve somehow managed to do two P&R-adjacent costumes this year.
I recognized this IMMEDIATELY, even before seeing the Knope button. A++.
Awesome!
this is perfect, and as a bonus, now you have a letters to cleo tshirt. or maybe you already had it.
More like Turd Crapley.
Great outfit!
This is awesome!!!
My bf and I are going as Janet Snakehole & Burt Macklin, and I’m praying people will get it. At least someone.
I did The Middleman a few years ago for a party and only a handful of people knew who it was (although when standing next to a friend dressed as a Downton Abbey maid, I got “Cousin Matthew” a few times). Those people got high fives for being awesome.
Yessss, Kate. You’re not the only Toastie doing that! I just got the third trade in the mail yesterday (late birthday present) and it’s so pretty. I just want to hug it.
I am going to a Monopoly-themed party tonight! Me and the bf are going as the utilities: Electric Company and Waterworks. I’ve never dressed up with someone before, and we have awesome posterboards to wear and I’m going to use blue hairspray and I am a little too excited about this but I don’t care.
I’m doing the Nurse from Silent Hill. I still need to bloody up my costume and could stand to add more detail to my mask, but I’m pretty pumped.
Because I’m going to see Gordon Lightfoot tonight, I’m dressing up as “Early Morning Rain”. Gray-blue knit hat, tall demin-coloured boots, gun-metal slinky tank top with blue-grey tights topped off with a light blue wrap cardigan & sparkly scarf. Make-up: heavy black eyeliner and pale pink mouth.
SO EXCITED!
STEVIE NICKS!
We do not have the same hair at all but I am trusting in my moon powers and swaths of velvet to make up for this.
The boy and I are going as The White Stripes. I wanted an excuse to wear my red velvet pants an buy drumsticks.
Plus you can say you’re in character and not talk to anyone all night if you feel like it. BRILLIANT!
what? sorry, my bangs and daydreaming about tesla coils got in the way of paying attention to you…
Two costumes (one for tonight, one for tomorrow):
Tonight: the frozen logger from the folksong “My lover was a logger”
Tomorrow: couples costume with my guy as Shredder from TMNT, and me as a shreddie (specifically a diamond shreddie)
ELAINE STRITCH
I’M SO EXCITED
I’m a dinosaur!
Ahhh, I love that you went as a dinosaur to the library! I was the only person who dressed up at my library, and I went as a super obviously cowgirl, ie. with cowboy boots, a stetson, a plaid shirt and braids and ppl were like…why are you wearing a hat today? :((
You are the most adorable Bibliobotosaurus!
I am Emoji Cat With Hearts For Eyes! Cheapest, laziest costume I could think of.
The duderino and I are dressing up as Yukon Cornelius and Hermey, the elf who wants to be a dentist. We are going to be pretty damn adorable, I tell you what.
I am considering having a dress-up Christmas party this year just so I can have an opportunity to be Yukon Cornelius!
I’m almost tempted to do SantaCon this year just so we have an excuse to repurpose the costumes (would be esp. good if we could press a Rudolph and a Bumble into service).
I’m just rocking some spider earrings and heavy eyeliner at work, where no one dresses up, but tonight and tomorrow I will be Carmen Sandiego!
I went to a party a couple of weeks ago dressed as Louise Scissorhands (Louise Belcher as Edward Scissorhands).
I’m doing Bjork in the swan dress! My mom made most of it and it looks awesome and I’m super stoked to wear it later.
I am Yes All Woman, sworn enemy of Not All Man (http://www.listen-tome.com/save-me/). Rainbow wig, white masquerade mask, Toast “kill all men” t-shirt, gold/tellow tutu, rainbow arm cuffs. Probably also black leggings and moto boots because cold.
My dude is a Reverse Centaur (horse head/torso/hand-hooves, human butt/legs/feet). He serves as a cautionary tale that not all interspecies breeding results in magical creatures of great majesty.
The Doctor! (The one with the scarf, because my desire to own a Fourth Doctor scarf was what got me into knitting.)
I’m rocking the whole 50s thing–poodle skirt, saddle shoes, etc.
I am going to be Ramona Flowers from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World and I am beyond excited because I’m wearing a PINK WIG.
I’m also going to test out fake eyelashes but I’m worried of accidentally glueing my eyes shut. That would put a damper on my Halloween spirit.
I am going as Molly Ringwald’s character from The Breakfast Club. (Which, I know there are Problematic Things in John Hughes movies and all, but it is still so damn enjoyable and the 80s style is so fierce.)
I am still deciding if I want to do anything big tonight. I’ve decided that if I do I am going to go as Vincent Adultman from Bojack Horseman. I already have a trench coat I just need a tiny broom to put in one of the sleeves.
“I did a business!”
I’m Thor today at work! I think I might go a little spookier for the trick-or-treaters though and be a dementor.
Couldn’t find a magnificent fake beard in time, so I had to modify the costume a little.
“Learner’s Kermit”
Amazing.
Third attempt to get the picture to load…
I’m going as Princess Vespa from Spaceballs! Just made my bun-headphones on my lunch break.
I’m Danaerys Targaryen! And what would Dany do while waiting for her (theoretical) husband to wake up from a long ass nap? Share a scotch and soda with her baby dragon while taking bathroom selfies, that’s what.
After birthing it through the heat and flames and noxious fumes of my cheap glue gun, here’s a close up my “dragon”. I’m so proud :’)
My costume this year required some heavy glue-gun usage and I’m wondering if it’s worth upgrading to a not-cheap one. Mostly I hate how the wee one I have just EATS glue sticks. Of course it’ll probably be 2 yeas before I find myself needing to use a glue gun again.
Yes! My crappy glue-gun eats glue so quickly! Do better ones stretch out the glue sticks in a more manageable and reasonable manner? Because I’m pretty sure mine violates all international rules about everything.
I’m going as a Portuguese Man-O-War! I’m wearing a purple dress, and a purple wig, and out of clear clamshell packaging, magenta nail polish, and purple silk yarn / ribbons I have constructed one of these to wear on my head.
I also made a kelp/phosphorescent algae stole (like a mink stole) out of LED lights, green lace, and blue tissue paper!!
I am nerrrrrrding out you guys.
When I got to work this morning, my coworker held out two clothespins and said it was my Halloween costume. She clipped one on each shoulder and told me I was a clothesline 🙂 Simple but brilliant – I wore them all day and got some great reactions from customers!
I am Ilana from broad city!!! And Ilana replied to my tweet and said “bish love you thank you” so my life is made now.
This costume, and the tweet, both require further acknowledgement. ACKNOWLEDGED AS AWESOME.
Slowly coming back after a nasty flu. Watched “In A World…” and quickly ran out of “Broad City” episodes. Any other movie or TV recommendations for sick days, friends?
The Second Hunger Games movie is on Netflix! As is the Craft. That is what I watched when steamrolled by a sinus infection earlier this week.
Re-watch all of Broad City four more times (that’s what I did anyway)
Last time I took a sick day I marathonned the heck out of Kitchen Nightmares. I guess Scripps just made a deal with Netflix because now a bunch of Food Network/HGTV/Travel Channel stuff is on there, so I would also recommend something mindless like Cupcake Wars or Chopped!
Brooklyn Nine-Nine is magical; I also second The Craft.
Amy Schumer? And Transparent if it’s not too heavy for a sick day!
If you enjoy ridiculous history/museum-type things, ‘Mysteries at the Museum’ is on Netflix. In the same vein, if you have Hulu Plus, (or possibly just Hulu?) you may be able to watch Drunk History.
Peep Show
Hannibal (if you have Amazon Prime)
Review w/ Forest McNeil (see above disclaimer)
Parks & Rec is my go-to sick/hungover cheer-me-up show. (Although I will add the usual caveat that if you have not yet seen it, start with Season 2 instead of Season 1.)
I watch the Harry Potters because I always manage to fall asleep during some crazy-FX magic sequence and then my dreams are just those graphics over and over.
Happy Friday, Toasties! The weather is thoroughly dreadful today (first snow of the year, 50-mph gusts from the north, Witch of November etc etc) so I treated myself to a fancy coffee–triple shot soy thingy with half a shot of chocolate. And the lovely barista drew a chocolate spiderweb on top.
What’s your comforting warm treat of choice at this time of year? (Boozy treats also welcomed.)
Apple cider with brandy!
Apple Chai. I can’t just order it like that at Starbucks anymore, because they took it off the menu a few years ago. But some barristas know what I’m talking about. For the rest it’s “a chai latte with apple juice instead of milk”. So good. At home I sort of mimic the effect by using one chai tea bag and one apple tea bag. It works well enough, and I can add whiskey to that one.
Boo snow!
My old roommate and I used to drink “whiskey tea” a lot. Possibly this is just a cheap-o version of a hot toddy: plain black tea + honey + lemon + a splash or a shot of whiskey. Drink it while curled up under a blanket and watch tv.
I thought that was exactly what a hot toddy was. Is there a fancy version? Have I been making it wrong all these years?
There are as many versions of hot toddy as makers thereof, but this is v v close to mine as well.
I never make my toddies with tea, just whiskey, hot water, lemon & honey, so a tea version sounds fancy!
The best, I mean BEST comforting warm drink is a Hot Chocolate with Baileys. THE BEST
Drink slowly while cuddled up in front of a fire, with the wind/rain/snow whistling outside.
(If you ever feel like branching out off that, because I am SO WITH YOU on Bailey’s and hot chocolate, a few drops of Chambord, um, do not go amiss there.)
That sounds interesting. I might have to test that theory out sometime….
Hot apple cider, and God help me, mulled wine (red wine is my Undoing-it is the devil’s drink, I swear. So, so good; so, SO bad).
A college friend of my girlfriend’s brought back an amazing gluhwein recipe from her study abroad adventures in Germany, and it’s become a winter staple for us and everyone else who knows her.
Hot buttered rum! But it has to be good spiced rum and a lot of brown sugar.
Oooooh now there’s a thought.
Long time, Toasties. Here is an update:
Borderline mother has been officially divorced. Dad has given, if not his approval, at least his reassurance that he still wants a relationship with me and I will not be pressured to undo my decision. Mom is, hopefully, bound for therapy in the near future. I am free.
Now comes the part where I’m slowly learning how to build a life when I have confidence no one’s going to knock it down, which sounds super fun, like Vortigern’s castle after the dragons were gone, but it’s . . . slow, and intimidating. I was supposed to feel like this when I went to college, I think – everything I do might now be the foundation on which I build my real life. It seems awfully big.
I’m very happy though. Divorce your horrible people!
Yay! So proud of you! Welcome to the rest of your life 🙂
Good for you. Your real life is and is going to be amazing.
Congrats, and good on you for power and strength and convictions and boundaries and emotional intelligence and health!
Congratulations! It is big, but it’s *yours*. And I think the best way to figure stuff out is by stumbling through, trying things on, building what you can. I think it’s supposed to look daunting and incomprehensible, but the really hard part is behind you. So many high fives.
So, so impressed by your hard work to draw your boundaries and respect your needs, Linette. You deserve happiness!
Congratulations on divorcing your horrible mother! That is a HUGE thing to have done, you are so courageous for taking that final step. I am glad that your father still wants to be in relationship to you.
Take lots of deep breaths, and yes, it is slow and intimidating, building a really living life is a lot of work. But just like anything else it is a step at a time and you can always go back and redecorate as you go. 🙂
You are free! Happy to hear it. Don’t be intimidated. You have already learned that painful experiences will neither kill nor cripple you, that pain is temporary and often necessary, that you come out the other side better for it. I foresee good things in your near future.
+1 for Arthurian reference, bravery in divorcing horrible people.
Congratulations! As someone who did the same thing with a Borderline/Narcissist mother AND grandmother (multigenerational personality-disordered toxic family system–the gift that keeps on giving!), I am very, very proud of you! It will get much better from here on out, I swear! I’m still learning that life-building thing myself, but it is much, much better now.
Congratulations! I did that five years ago and living my adult life free of my mother’s bullshit has been one of the best decisions I have made to date. Welcome to your life out of the rabbit hole.
The Giants are celebrating their World Series win with a parade that goes by a block away from my office. The sports fans are getting into place now, in the rain, many of them costumed and all of them happy. It’s pretty great.
yep, i can see them from my office window! i’m right by montgomery bart. it’s great but it’s also…soggy.
My work is moving to a building right on the parade route, but UNFORTUNATELY we have not actually moved yet. So…I just took the day off and will watch the parade on TV while hanging out here in the open thread. I am a little afraid of the confluence of parade + halloween + rain but…we shall see. Did you two survive the mayhem on Wednesday night? Luckily my neighborhood was just full of drunks hugging each other.
I lived a couple blocks away from Mission St for 2010 and 2012, which was kind of scary. I spent a lot of time listening to soma.fm which was rebroadcasting the police scanners. Now that I’m in another neighborhood it’s just some hollering and firecrackers, I can totally deal with that.
Chief Suhr says most of their arrests were people who came into the city after the game to get crazy. So, basically the World Series wins have replaced Castro Halloween for attracting violent jerks.
Rain, rain, wonderful rain, beautiful beautiful rain!
Mmmm persimmons are THE BEST. The tree outside my office has stopped producing, alas, so that photo is particularly tragic for me.
Decided to ditch the Varla costume because I couldn’t get the makeup right to hide my eyebrows (despite hours of practice and watching a zillion drag queen tutorials). So instead, today I am Softcore Victorian Porn.
What are y’all dressed as today?
ETA: Sorry these are so huge.
Nathan Drake from Uncharted 3.
It would just be Uncharted generally, but I have the scarf and the belt buckle from 3.
I have some serious lust for that belt buckle. LOVE IT.
Isn’t it the shit? I had to buy the official replica for that piece, but only that, and it wasn’t expensive, maybe $15 or so. (I maintain the picture looks like the first in a series of attempted sexy photos a teenager sends her boyfriend.)
DAMN, GIRL.
Hiii, this is off topic but your bloomers are the best. I wore them under my skirt on Wednesday and it was amazing. I even accidentally (I swear) walked over a subway grate that blew my skirt up. LOOK HOW FANCY I AM, PEDESTRIANS OF SF.
Also my husband was like, “I’m glad you like them but they are kind of weird,” so #misandryachieved
Thank you for letting me know! That makes me really happy!
OMG you look amazing.
Yowza. You look great!
Last weekend we were asked to foster a dog for the Bull Mastiff rescue group we got one of our dogs from. We have named her Roxanne. She is just a bundle of sweetness. Some people are just garbage. It is obvious that Roxanne was used for breeding and then when she was not useful anymore she was dumped in the parking lot of a hotel. She is about 10-15 lbs. underweight and has a nasty cherry eye, but other than that is in good shape. Here is a picture:
This makes me so happy (that you are fostering her) and furious and sad (that people abuse animals like this). My best dog, Penny, was a breeding dog at a puppy mill for most of her life (6-8 years) and even though she was rescued and I did everything I could for her, she still died young because she got breast cancer (common among breeder dogs). Bless you for helping!
SAVE THE DOGES!
Awww she’s beautiful.
oh my god I want to give her all the hugs in the world
Roxanne you’re safe now
Yay! You rock! One of my best pals has a mastiff and he is a great dog. Give Roxanne a big hug for me.
Roxanne!! What a great pup.
People are terrible tho
Awwwwwww! I’m 98% sure that she’s thinking “I can haz hugs now?” in this photo.
I love Bull Mastiffs and you’re a wonderful person for giving Roxanne a shot at happiness. And crying now, dammit (who left these onions here?).
Oh, and goes without saying: SWEET GIRL!
What a gorgeous girl! I’m so happy she has a nice place to recover.
I need to snuggle and kiss that FACE OMG
Aw, sweetie. She needs a big ol’ hug, poor buddy.
What a sweetheart! Both you and the dog, I guess. But you are awesome for taking her in and I wanna give her a big hug.
Happy Halloween!!!
Let’s all scare ourselves by sharing spooky stories and urban legends and stuff. For example, I enjoy scaring myself by reading listverse articles about anything with the word “unexplained” or “mysterious” or “creepy” in the title.
I will read anything – and I do mean ANYTHING – about the following:
a) Chernobyl/Pripyat
b) abandoned amusement parks (Six Flags New Orleans)
c) cults
d) the Jersey Devil
CULTS THOUGH
I am going to a haunted abandoned amusement park two weeks from now in west Virginia called Lake Shawnee where white people killed native americans and people drowned and died and were murdered and there are ghosts, so say people on the internet… I’ll keep you posted.
are True Stories that Happened to Me acceptable? I have a *haunting experience* from my youth that might work, though I think I’ve toasted it before.
Yes, shoot!
YES ALWAYS
here we go!
When I was about 9 or 10 we went on a school trip with most of the rest of my year. We went to a seaside town, about 30 miles from home. It was technically a trip for Geography, and maybe some other classes, but I don’t remember doing much work aside from filling out a few worksheets.
What I do remember is being haunted.
Now, a few things you need to be aware of. First, the layout. We were staying in an old building, probably Victorian, and the layout was strange. Boys and girls were in a different wing, and I remember you could get to the boys wing through the bathrooms. In the girls wing, we were divided into three bedrooms, all named after birds. I was in the smallest bedroom, which slept three people. There was another bedroom that slept five or seven, and the largest bedroom slept about ten or twelve children, I think?
So that’s minimum eighteen prepubescent girls in the same tight confines for four days.
Second, I remember that the year before a classmate had died of leukemia.
Most likely everything that happened was mass hysteria.
It started on the first night, when the kids in my room heard screaming from the largest room. I went into the large bedroom, to be faced by a girl I knew, in tears on her bed. “I was going to sleep,” she said “and something crawled in with me.”
From there on it just got worse. The haunting infected all the rooms, except ours. The originator claimed she had been pushed off her bed, and showed us a white mark on her jumper. The girls that touched it claimed they got an electric shock from the jumper. Others said they saw disappearing footprints through the bathroom. The teachers tried to talk us down, but by now we believed. We told a little story about the house being an old orphanage to explain things. Who knows? It might even have been one.
This is the background. This was the soup I was swimming in when I saw these two weird things.
The first strange thing, was that the last day we were there I was in the bathroom just before we took our last walk on the beach as a class. When I was looking in the mirror, I saw someone else, and where they were standing they should have been in front of me. They were a little girl, smaller that me, with light-coloured hair and a dirty face. I saw them for a second, before they faded.
The second was this: On that last walk, I was looking out to sea and I saw a shape in the waves. It looked human, and it looked like it was waving at me. I grabbed a teacher, and pointed it out, and they saw nothing – just the sea. But I clearly saw a pale-and-dark shape, waving desperately towards me.
The sea-shape is VERY SCARY.
whoaaa. i tend to believe mass hysteria doesn’t just happen, but there IS some kind of negative spirit or energy fueling it on, even if there wasn’t an actual ghost that climbed into bed with your classmate. and the sea shape!
TAMAN SHUD
omg yes
Once there was an amazing longread about the Taman Shud case and how bizarre it was and more evidence. I have NEVER been able to find it since and it’s KILLING me.
Also, the disappearance of the Beaumont children.
And down the rabbit hole for the Beaumont children I go; disappearing people are always freaky-deeky.
The Wiki list “People who have mysteriously disappeared” will be a bonanza for you!
\
What is UP in Adelaide geez
Seriously! The links between the Beaumont children and Family Murders *shudder.* The Dyatlov Pass Incident is also a personal favorite.
I FOUND IT! Have you read this? http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/the-body-on…
I’m convinced our basement is haunted but not in a obvious way, just “stop watching me and yeah, yeah, I’m leaving so you can have it (the TV room) all to yourself, sheesh” kinda way.
This is why I couldn’t finish watching “The Haunting” last night because being downstairs alone was freaking me out: Thanks, basement bogie!
It is by A Man, but said Man is Ray Bradbury so I feel like this is still acceptable…The October Game: http://lib.ru/INOFANT/BRADBURY/october.txt
I also thoroughly recommend The Veldt.
I brought up the Dionaea House website elsewhere but I’m plugging it here too because it is SO GOOD and SO FUN to read through: http://www.dionaea-house.com/
In a similar vein is the Ted the Caver story: http://www.angelfire.com/trek/caver/page1.html Yes, that is an Angelfire site from 2001 but it adds to the mood in my opinion.
Who wants to read “The Smiling Man”? http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/The_Smiling_Man
I was walking home by myself after Rocky Horror last weekend, around 3 am, and I was in the suburbs so I didn’t have real things to be scared of. Started thinking about this story and got so wigged out I ran the rest of the way home.
When my beloved grandpa was sick, I went to visit him in the nursing home. As I was walking down the hallway I heard someone yelling, and as I got closer I realized a) they were yelling “heeeeeere kitty kitty!” b) it was my grandpa yelling.
I went into his room and realized he was asleep and still calling for a kitty. He opened his eyes and saw me and said “Hellooooo kitty!”
Oh and I was wearing my Hello Kitty purse. My grandpa always said Hello Kitty! whenever he saw me wearing it.
Not the creepyest thing ever but it sure gave me the heebie jeebies.
Will someone explain the phenomenon of Black-Eyed Children to me? My understanding (after reading SEVERAL REPUTABLE WEBSITES *snort*) is that they are children-shaped things (monsters? ghosts? demons?) with all-black eyes (no colored irises) who are usually found in pairs and who will try to gain entry to your house or car. They approach and tell you they need help or are lost–“can you give us a ride?” “can we use your phone?”–but if you let them in…something bad happens, I guess? I’ve never gotten a clear answer on what happens if you let them in.
D:
Good: I got summoned to a written exam for a job I applied to a few weeks ago!
Bad: Still haven’t heard back from another job that I interviewed for and the interviewer had sworn up and down they would get back to me either way before the end of October. (Also am freaking out about the written exam but at least I have 2 weeks to prepare.)
Bad AND wtf: Revenu Quebec (the provincial tax agency) sent me a nasty letter, but for some reason mailed it to my parents in Switzerland, accusing me of not having filed an income tax return for 2012 and demanding that I do so right away or they’ll fine me $100/day until I do. Except I left Quebec in 2011 and I did file my damn tax return for 2012. I went to H&R Block and everything! Boo, bureaucracy.
I sort of had this happen with the local government in the college town where I used to live. They came after me for not filing a local tax return for the last year I was in that town (which probably would have been only a few dollars), but they sent the letter to my parents. I never saw anything until the letter envelopes got scary enough that my parents noticed and passed along word that a collections agency was now shaking me down for $300+ in fines – for a probably less than $20 tax bill.
Good luck getting it all sorted!
Sending you good vibes for interviews!! That is just the way it goes, “Oh, we promise we will call you!” and then they disappear and you mysteriously lose their contact information and none of their supposed co-workers know who you are calling for. And then you begin to suspect that the interview never actually happened…
Quebec gave me a solidarity tax credit the other day.
I informed them I was leaving their province (AND NEVER EVER COMING BACK) six months ago via their web-form thingie.
That money is MINE, dammit. Collateral damage.
Good luck with the job hunt!
Revenue Quebec gets all of the WTF?! The one year I filed in Quebec, I filed online and paid online at the same time to get it over with. But apparently the return-receiving and payment-receiving departments never communicate because it took them almost a year to match my return with my payment. Like, does it never occur to the people processing the return to check if payment has been received in a form other than a cheque?
Also, this is me right now:
oh god oh god oh god oh god WE TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU WENT THROUGH THE SMALL DOOR HIDDEN BEHIND THE BIGGER DOOR.
MY OUTSIDE FINALLY MATCHES MY INSIDE
a million +1s
Did you ever know that you are my HERO.
I have that exact terrifying unicorn head! For reasons known only to himself, my cousin got drunk one night and ordered it for me, only he sent it to my office address instead of my home address and it arrived at work while I was away and I got an email from one of my coworkers like “You just got a package with some… hair sticking out of it?”
I did this to a friend of mine, only her husband got it, looked at it for a while, shrugged, then put it on to go greet his wife.
My husband HATES this mask. He’s pretty unflappable, so I wasn’t expecting him to have such a strong reaction to it, but he can’t stand to be in the room with me when I’m wearing it.
One day I will wake up before him, put it on, slip back in bed and just wait.
yesssssssssss
Literal lols at that, omg.
haahhaha I am fo reals cackling. I ordered the regular horse version of this, as well as a pigeon head mask last week (for similar husband-unnerving reasons). They should arrive next week, and I am biding my time, but you have made me SO EXCITED.
I am throwing a Halloween party tonight and if anyone dares to show up not in costume I am definitely going to make them wear the unicorn head as punishment. Good luck drinking with that thing on, you have to shove your whole fist inside the mouth-hole to get to your actual mouth.
Straws, man. This mask is what straws are FOR.
Oh my gosh that is amazing!!
oof, I love Kuzu persimmons! so crunchy! so mellowly sweet! I wish I had a box of “mini pumpkins”
GUYS, my new boo biked a half hour in 40 degree weather to my house at 6am to bring me breakfast and snuggles because we haven’t seen each other much this week… GUH I THINK HE’S A KEEPER.
DAMNIT! i mean YUZU persimmons #fridaybrain
I love the other kind (Hachiyas?), so squishy and pulpy. But I can never find them.
they are hard to find (and to keep – they seem to rot so easily!)
but beware: eating too many persimmons can make cause some SERIOUS gastrointestinal distress. (speaking from horrible, horrible experience)
Diospyrobezoar: a bezoar from eating unripe persimmons! Thankfully I know this from Wikipedia, not experience.
I like the soft persimmons even better, but both are delicious. I think I need to make a trip to the Vietnamese supermarket this weekend (the only place around here that consistently has persimmons).
So happy for you, noodge. You deserve a boo who will appear on your doorstep for breakfast snuggles.
Hi Toasties!
I’m not a huge fan of dressing up, so my plan tonight is to cook up something warm and stay in watching scary movies.
Let’s talk about American Horror Story and/or Serial!
I weirdly can’t get into AHS no matter how hard I try! Like, I start watching it and find myself doing other stuff and then I give up midway through each season. Even though it is AWFUL the only one I finished was the first season! Maybe because it was so ridiculous I just finished watching it for the lols?
I think I’m three episodes into Coven right now and I’m trying to keep going Because Witches and I love Kathy Bates and Gabourey Sidibe but nothing about either this or Asylum has really kept my interest over the course of a whole season. I have not started Freak Show yet and have no idea if this’ll happen again when I do.
I feel like the first season is the only one with a genuinely solid story arc. I’ve still watched the others, but none of them have really maintained momentum throughout the whole season (or, like, any of it, in some cases…)
The first season is still my favorite. Asylum was ok, but the aliens were such a weird way to bookend the series, and it completely lost me with that plot. Last season SUCKED, but I am really enjoying the new season.
I think AHS does better when it confines itself to a pretty small storytelling space. So Murder House obviously takes place in a single house, then Asylum is in a much larger building pulling in some stuff from the outside world, and then Coven is New Orleans (mostly French Quarter). So this season is back to being at least a little smaller scale and that may be why I find it working better for me, at least from a storytelling perspective. It’s always going to be sort of gaudy and overwrought and neo-Gothic, but imposing physical limits on itself helps to keep things in check.
My quibbles with this season are the fact that I’m not at all scared of clowns (which is a me thing, I get it) and that I don’t care for the characters they’re emphasizing. Sort of bored with Evan Peters’ iterations of the earnest hero from season to season and Angela Bassett is being criminally underused. I know a lot of people hated Coven and I agree it was a mess from a story perspective but my god it was so pretty to look at. I want that set designer to do my place.
I just binge-listened to Serial this week and while i am enjoying it, I thought the premise was “you learn the story as we are learning it” but she has been working on this for a year?
I think she’s been researching and working on it for a year, but is still conducting interviews and gathering information, so things are still changing.
So, Serial! I still think Jay is more involved than he lets on, but I am starting to think Adnan may have been involved too. Not trying to call or page Hae after she disappeared, not even once?
I am pretty on board with the Jay and Adnan did it together theory. However, I do think that Adnan had a shitty defense team, and I’m not sure he should have been convicted based on the evidence presented.
Agreed. I don’t see how the jury got beyond a reasonable doubt with what was presented in court!
This is exactly where I’m leaning. I think he’s probably guilty, and that Jay was involved, but holy shit if that defense lawyer threw the case that is a MAJOR breach of ethics.
But maybe that works both ways, if he was guilty, wouldn’t he have paged or called to create a record?
Yeah, I squealed when I saw the new episode had released. I think this one was interesting – the Nisha call kind of throws me.
I just really want them to actually TALK TO JAY like where has he been in her year of research?
It’s driving me batty that Serial is so cagey about what happened to Jay. Was he tried as an accomplice or what?
That would make sense! But I feel like she should have told us by now if he was also charged. I mean, the way it’s presented, he can’t not have been charged, right?
Like, he straight up told the police that he had prior knowledge of the murder! But if he had some sort of plea deal that got him reduced charges or whatever, it seems like that would have had to come up by now as context for his testimony? I feel like they must saving something major for an episode about Jay.
According to the court docs people on the subreddit tracked down, Jay got something like 5 years for accessory after the fact that was shortened to 2 years probation. He violated the terms of his probation a long time ago and I guess MD just hasn’t bothered to go after him for it? Apparently he has an open FB, is married, lives in California, and is still friends with Jenn on FB, but the subreddit mods definitely delete any personal info that crops up because they don’t want people who the show is purposefully not revealing personal info about getting doxxed.
I think she said early on that he didn’t want to talk to her?
Ahhhhhhhh I don’t remember that, but that would make sense.
Also–mad props on your username.
I thought Adnan’s response to SK’s question about why he didn’t try to page Hae was really weird and defensive. He’s supposedly this thoughtful guy — how many HS boys get people birthday presents — but he doesn’t even try to page Hae once? The only thing I can think of is that maybe he tried to play up how close they were as part of his defense when, in reality, they really weren’t that close post breakup. It seems like they broke up and got back together a fair amount (not unusual for a HS relationship), and maybe this last time Adnan was just out of friendly feelings? So Hae moves on with Don, Adnan is talking to a few other girls, and their friendship’s just cooled. PLUS his argument is that he’s getting info on how people are trying to contact Hae with no success from Aisha and some of Hae’s other friends, but school was canceled Thursday and Friday that week, then it was the weekend. Did he call them directly during that time to find out what was up or did he just kind of shrug and move on?
I also thought his response was really weird. That awkward silence and then “…was that a question?”
I also think it’s odd that he wouldn’t try to call because he called her two or three times the night before just to give her his new number, but then never tried to reach her after she disappeared. I mean, obviously that’s not complete proof of guilt or anything, but it was just weird to me.
I can sort of understand this though.
He didn’t figure out that something was really wrong until a week later and by that time Hae’s good friends were the source of all information. I mean, last year one of my friend’s didn’t show up to work because her mother was really sick and I think I texted her once the whole time because we aren’t super close and I didn’t want to overwhelm her and I got an update on her mother’s condition pretty much every day from another coworker who was closer.
I was really hoping Adnan would be innocent because that was the arc in the beginning, but the last episode was… strange. the thought of Adnan being a manipulative killer makes me feel so creeped out, having listened to his conversations with sarah koenig 🙁
I woke up today positive that the AHS demon clown was lurking outside my door, but it was just some asshole taking an early shower run. What was your most underwhelming scary experience?
I woke up in the middle of the night once to scratching and rustling from the window next to my bed, tried to go back to sleep, then realized SOMETHING WAS CRAWLING INTO MY ROOM THROUGH THE WINDOW.
Turns out my cat had gotten stuck outside that night, somehow jumped the 10 feet up to my window, pried off the screen, and started trying to squeeze in. I don’t think I ever slept with that window open again though.
Late one night during my freshman year in college, I went into the communal bathroom to find A SINK FULL OF BLOOD.
It was actually red hair dye. I still screamed like a banshee.
this past week was good! i got to see maria bamford (which was amazing as expected) and after work i’m gonna hop on a plane to go spend halloween weekend with some friends out of town. and i’m dressing up as edgar allan hoe (no pictures…yet) and i’m really excited to juxtapose cleavage and fake mustache. then on monday i get to see alan cumming speak!
however, i wish i could stop cramming candy into my mouth willynilly. my office has a candy bowl which i am already addicted to but with halloween, there’s all the really good stuff rolling in, ughhh. and san francisco is crazytown right now with the parade and the rain.
It’s raining I am so excited! I’ve been up since 6am watching Accuweather and waiting for rain like Christmas morning.
right? autumn, AT LAST! and we need rain so badly!
BAMFORD. I love her so much.
she was so incredible. i laughed so hard that i was crying a little.
Happy Halloweeeeen I have been listening to T Swift all morning and I am officially out of work mood and into party mood. I’m going to a Halloween party where my ex-boyfriend will also be (we’re on good terms but this is only the second time we’ll be seeing each other since we broke up in July) but I don’t even CARE because I’ve been seeing someone new and the “sex with new person” brain chemicals are a powerful, powerful mood elevator. I’m getting an ad for Babeland on this page so clearly the Toast is picking up on my sexy vibes. And I have candy.
Basically, things are really good right now.
I’ve been listening to the new TSwift ALL WEEK. What’s your favorite song of the new album? According to iTunes, I have listened to Blank Space 17 times. No regrets.
“Blank Space” is SO GOOD, definitely my favorite. Every part of it is catchy as hell, special love to “got a long list of ex-lovers.” SING IT, GIRL. “Out of the Woods” also great, clearly. Of the non-singles, I’ve been into “Style” and “Bad Blood.”
ME TOO. Blank Space, Style, and Wildest Dreams are my favorites. Kinda loving the whole “fuck you world, I’m the best ex-girlfriend scapegoat you’ve ever had and don’t I look awesome doing it” vibe about this album.
Toasties, I still cannot get over my excitement regarding the Marvel press event this week. I hereby officially demand that the movies come out no later than December. I am super excited for Black Panther and Captain Marvel and The Inhumans. I am still sad that ScarJo Black Widow isn’t getting her own movie, and while from a ‘loosely following the comics storylines’ standpoint, I get why a Black Widow movie doesn’t fit in where they’re going with Infinity War, well, that’s not really a great argument because you can just change things. None of this is written in stone.
Still, I am excited for Carol Danvers. The two best casting possibilities I have seen are Katee Sackhoff, because she just should be Captain Marvel, and Emily Blunt, because she should just be in everything. I mean, did you see Edge of Tomorrow? She was awesome! And Vin Diesel should be Black Bolt (aka Blackagon Boltagar). And I am also ridiculously excited to see Lockjaw on a big screen.
Toasties, what upcoming movies are you excited about? Even Non-Marvel movies! That is a thing that I hear exists as well, though to be fair at the moment my mind does not contain any.
I’m really hoping that the reason for no Black Widow is a contract one, because otherwise it makes no sense. But if it’s that ScarJo doesn’t want it, or there’s a contractual issue involving her being in one, that actually does kind of make sense.
Yeah, I mean in the storyline that they’re basically following from the comics, there’s not a good storyline for a Black Widow movie. But like I said, they can… they can just change that. I hope it’s not because ScarJo doesn’t want to do it, but maybe she’s like “Guys, we have some wiggle room. Let me bring my daughter up for a few years and then we’ll attack this shit in Phase 4.” That’s my hope.
I like to think that Scarlet is in the position that Chris Evans wishes he was in right now: having enough autonomy to decline a Black Widow movie so she can go do weird/crazy/awesome/nutty films like Her & Under The Skin on her own time while still being a major highlight of any Marvel movie she shows up in.
I finally got around to Edge of Tomorrow last week, and I feel very guilty for not having given it my money in the cinema. It was so good! And Cruise was such an ass in the beginning! And it was so, so gratifying to see the amazing Emily Blunt shoot him in the face over and over and over again! Basically: I endorse this movie. It is good.
Also while I think Diesel is a bit wooden (physically – he was great as the voices of the Iron Giant and Groot), I am intrigued by that casting idea… And yes, bring on aaaaaaall the Marvel movies. Gimme. Gimme nao.
Edge of Tomorrow was sooooooo good. I really really like that movie.
I’m not a huge Vin Diesel fan either, but Black Bolt is pretty stiff himself, and Vin Diesel dan do a solid intimidating presence.
Horns. HORNS. HOOOOOORRRRRRNNNNNNS.
I’m waiting for my BFF to get back from a trip so we can see it together. AUGH.
That’s the Dan Radcliff one? It looked interesting…
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I am ungodly excited for Night at the Museum 3. The first two movies were so cute and I can’t wait.
Interstellar! Despite McConaghueheyeueyey.
I do not know how I forgot about this movie. Everything I’ve seen about it says it’s right up my alley. Thanks for the reminder! Isn’t that, like… next week?
Yeah, it’s super soon. I keep forgetting about it, then PC is like INTERSTELLAR ADS ON HULU and we get all gaspy and excited again, so that’s pretty nifty. Gotta say that I am simultaneously really excited about it and also extremely suspicious that it will be the bastard movie child of Inception;, which I truly did not like (I got it, it just… wasn’t that interesting) and Contact, which I still have mixed feelings about.
CAAAAAAAAAAAROL DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANVERS OMALSKTNAWELTKHAWDRLAKWD;ATWLKEHT
I am so, so excited for a Captain Marvel movie. My favorite pick for the role is Kathryn Winnick (of Vikings) as she just looks so CAROL to me but I am honestly of the opinion that whoever they put in the role will be a great choice and will knock it out of the park because Marvel has yet to cast someone that I think is ill-suited for a role. I’m just so, so happy we get Carol at all. So happy. Like, tears of joy happy.
It’s not coming out soon and I think that literally the only thing about it that’s official is one photograph, but PACIFIC RIM 2!!!
A Most Violent Year – Saw a preview, crime drama with Jessica Chastain, Oscar Isaac & Albert Brooks. That alone is enough for me to be down with it.
A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night – Iranian vampire romance horror. That’s all I know about it.
The Look of Silence – Sequel/companion piece to The Act Of Killing. Can’t wait to be super moved/depressed for a few weeks after seeing it.
Dumb and Dumber To – Sue me, I’m a fan of the original I will definitely be watching this one and hoping it can capture some of that idiotic magic.
Hello, I would like to announce that I had sex last night for the first time since February. I will now be accepting all manner of congratulatory high fives, please and thank you.
it had to be done
three times!
Does it mean we’ve summoned something?
The video!
http://youtu.be/lQlIhraqL7o
I was so hoping someone would post that pic/gif, and I am now triply (?) happy.
i hope so.
like cake! or sex! or congrats on the sex cake!
Mazel Tov!!!!
well hot damn! go you.
\o/!
YEEEAAAAAAH GET IT!!! oh wait ya already did
*puts on latex glove*
UP TOP!
WOO CONGRATS!
I’m getting my Paragard IUD today.
My hairdresser’s assistant told me she had hers taken out because she could no longer orgasm. Googled this and apparently it’s a thing, along with the usual “so painful I fainted on the table” anecdotes.
Now slightly terrified. I know a few weeks ago some lovely Toasties shared their positive IUD experiences…if anyone wants to share more before my 2:45pm PDT appointment I would be most grateful!
I’ve had my Paraguard for two years now and I LOVE IT. Downsides – period cramps are somewhat worse now, but nothing an extra strength tylenol can’t handle. Getting it put in was rough – don’t plan on doing anything the rest of the day, or probably tomorrow. Have someone drive you home, if possible. My experience also might have been better if my GYN had someone with her to assist, so she didn’t have to walk across the room to get things every once in a while. But dude, you’ll be set for 10 years, it’s so worth it.
I got Paragard this spring and, let me assure you, I can still orgasm! I did not faint on the table! I had more severe cramping and some spotting for about three months, but my periods are exactly back to normal now! It was such a good decision; I regret nothing; good luck!
Hi hi hi! I got an IUD on Wednesday and it was fine. I was prepared to faint etc etc, and I had about 15 seconds of pretty bad unpleasantness, and then it was fine. I ate pizza and napped the rest of Wednesday, and Thursday I took it pretty easy, with some mild to bad cramps and today am basically okay. I’m sitting here at work is you have any questions!
I got a Mirena “installed” a few months ago, and since my period was late, the doctor did it under local anesthesia. So I only felt several needle pricks. Maybe you could ask if they’d do it for you?
But yeah, I also collapsed afterwards. You should mainline as much sugar as you can.
I have a paraguard and I won’t lie, the insertion was very painful. I yelled, but I did NOT faint, and for me it was intense pain for a very short time (ten seconds?) and when it was over, it was over – nothing lingering except slightly stronger than usual cramps. And no problems on the orgasm front for me! I hope you love your IUD. I love mine. It’s my favorite thing I own. Congratulations!
Oh also – I took 800mg of ibuprofen before my appt, but I don’t know if it did anything. May have helped with the cramping afterwards I suppose.
Take a bunch of Aleve or Advil before hand, see if the Dr can call you in a prescription to dilate cervix or muscle relaxers, if you can. It sucks, but it’s over and done with pretty quick. I thought I had all of the bad side effects you can get, but never even heard of the no orgasm one…
Keep breathing. Just keep breathing. And then, OMG, no more birth control worries.
Got my mirena iud last month, and am loving it. Apart from the birth control, indications are that my periods will no be almost non-existant.
Heyyy I got a mirena Wednesday. What are the indications that your period will be gone? I want that.
I’ve had my Mirena for 2 years now. I haven’t really had my period for the last year, maybe a bit more? As in I haven’t bought pads or tampons for at least 16 months, probably a bit more. No menstrual cups either (TMI? meh) There was some increased bleeding for the first couple of months, but then it started settling down, and now, it’s alllllll good.
no such thing as tmi
I’m on my second Mirena, and haven’t had a period in like 4.5 years! With the first one, I had a couple of months of spotting while my body regulated itself, and then at some point it just stopped, and now I am the best cyborg ever.
Have had Paragard for 2.5 years, love it, plenty of orgasms.
I’ve had the Paragard for 3 years now and I am in love with it. It’s hormone-free, I don’t ever have to think about it, and rest assured, orgasms abound.
I, like you, Googled the hell out of it, and what I learned is that everybody’s body, and therefore experience, is different. So you won’t know, unfortunately, until you try it. My uterus spat mine out upon first application, but it eventually took, hurt like a mother getting it put in, and had me in bed with cramps for at least three days. But it was so, so worth it.
I echo the sentiments of loading yourself up with ibuprofen before you go in to your appointment and planning on being out of commish for a couple days. I think you’ll be just fine!
We have an IUD, it was annoying to get in but not too painful (YMMV, we have a high pain tolerance apparently), there was some annoying spotting/bleeding for a long time afterwards… BUT now we do not have to worry about our periods and I am reliably informed that the sex is great, really really great.
Good luck!
How are you doing champ? I am sending peaceful vibes your way :):)
Update: Success! Paragard safely in uterus!
Thanks to a good dose of Advil and some calcium-magnesium beforehand, it wasn’t bad at all. Thank you for all the positive stories! I literally read them on my phone while it was happening (TMI?) and they really helped me through it. I have joined the IUD sisterhood now.
Hello from Chicago, friends, where today it fucking snowed, truly making this the scariest Halloween of all!
I am going to a Halloween party today, but I left the part that makes my costume not just regular clothes at home; I thought about riding my bike home to get it, and then riding my bike back to a couple of blocks from work where the hosts live, and then decided I’m just going to be the tacky asshole not in costume. I’m okay with that.
In other news, gamers! What are you playing? What’s your favorite ~super spooky~ tabletop/board game/video game?
I’m helping run a Vampire: the Requiem LARP this year, and we start the actual game TOMORROW, and I’m oscillating wildly between excitement and pure animal panic as all the accumulated knowledge I have of the rules slowly dribbles out of my head. Next week I’m going to maybe run a horror game one-shot? We’ll see!
I just got back from a trip to Chicago and I am SO SAD it did not snow while I was there. (Because I live somewhere it never, ever, ever snows.)
But wow, Chicago is amazing. We might be moving there in a few years if I’m lucky.
I’m playing Civilization: Beyond Earth now. Pretty fun in the typical civ way. Board game night next Friday.
GOOD CALL not biking more because it is CRAZY out there
PSA: Amy Poehler’s book is SO GOOD. It is filling me with endless warm fuzzies with joy and I want to stay in and read it instead of doing anything at all this weekend.
Unrelatedly, has anyone else been feeling a little disappointed with Ask Polly’s letter choice the last few rounds? She seems like she’s choosing either very young people or people who are kind of assholes, so the responses are still great but I miss the “YES THIS IS EXACTLY ME” feeling I’m used to from both the letters and responses.
I just downloaded the audio of it yesterday. SO EXCITED. Just need to finish the audiobook I’m in the middle of, which means now I want to take several hour-long walks and/or weed the garden so I can be listening. (Just sitting around while listening to a book doesn’t work for me. I need activity. Well, sometimes the activity is ‘play cell phone games while listening’ but still.)
Ugh! I just finished Yes Please and I just want to hug it close to my chest all day long! Amy is such a gift to humanity! So wise and so funny! I particularly loved what she said about treating your career like it’s a bad boyfriend and trying to be ambivalent. It’s like she was writing just for me!
Did you hear Amy Poehler’s interview on Fresh Air? It was absolutely delightful.
I did not! I shall get on that, thanks!!
Hooray! An open thread I can actually participate in! I chickened out on Halloween due to laziness and extreme work stress, so never got my Han Solo costume together (my husband was gonna be Leia). There’s always next year!
But I am gonna watch Hocus Pocus and drink apple cider tonight! And I’m going to a faux-Harry Potter themed murder mystery dinner party tomorrow night. And I’m planning on bringing brown butter caramelized rice krispie treats, so I feel like I’m going to win the dinner party. They’re competitions, right?
Hello Toasties! How are you doing? How’s life? Can we all just have a giant slumber party sometime?
YES GIANT SLUMBER PARTY
Seconded!
Hocus Pocus is the best ever!
Zachary Binx was my first crush. Also, Hocus Pocus is how I learned what a virgin was.
Slumber party only if someone french braids my hair.
I will french braid (badly) in return for nail painting!
Viking princess hair for everybody!
brown butter caramelized rice krispie treats
Volunteering my house for slumber party. Must tolerate little dogs and their copious shedding.
Omfg Harry Potter murder mystery?! Do. Tell.
Programmers! Any other programmers out there interested in the idea of creating a commenting/forum/discussion system that allows for many threads (or something), with easy tangents, yet doesn’t lose latecomers? Lots more ideas, of course, but it could be an interesting project, even if just to blue-sky.
I’m interested in helping!
I really like the way that Discourse has taken a new approach to commenting/discussion, but still don’t feel like it meets the needs of some communities (like, say, the Toast). It would have to be able to handle large volume, and still be easily navigable.
Yeah, their auto-loading thing doesn’t always work for stuff.
In the Discourse forum I’m most familiar with, it was also pretty clear that Discourse focuses on one sort of community style. For instance, they are convinced that clicking a thumbs-up button that shows who thumbs-upped something is better than replying with “Me too!”, and so they have done all kinds of things to discourage short posts, and I don’t know how easy it would be to turn those off if you felt that short posts were better, say if you liked the way that they made the agree-ers more visible.
Hmmm…the thumbs up/down thing causes issues everywhere it’s used, I think. Is the user give a thumbs up in agreement, support, or appreciation? Is a thumbs down because it upsets them, they disagree, or they vehemently disapprove? Simplifying things by using a binary choice is understandable, but does come with it’s own problems.
I kind of like the idea, but I have no time.
Also I read some article once that suggested that all the failed Facebook knockoffs are evidence that in most cases, programmers are not the right people to design social software, and that kind of stuck with me. But maybe we could recruit whoever the right people are? I dunno.
I think it’s going to take some really out of the norm thinking to change the approach. Looking at what works best currently is how you get trapped going down the same path. Most things, I don’t think it’s necessary to reinvent the wheel, but I’d like to try in this case. What would something that was truly easy to interact with/get around in look like? Is top down commenting and threading the only possible way to go?
So the question then is, what kinds of interactions do people want to have? And what are their relative priorities, for instance if we could make it easier to follow a single discussion thread at the expense of making it slightly harder to read every single comment/entry/thing, would that be worth the tradeoff or not?
A short brainstorming-ish list of interactions that might need considering:
– Reading the currently active threads (as a newcomer)
– Reading every new comment in the active threads
– Reading every single comment so far in the entire discussion
– Reading every single new comment that the user hasn’t already read
– Signing up for email or other updates for every single comment
– Reading every comment in only threads that the user is interested in
– Reading every new comment in only threads that the user is interested in
– Getting updates for threads the user is interested in
– Indicating interest in a thread (by reading all of it? commenting in it? clicking a button?) so as to get updates
– Moderating
– Reporting things to the moderators
– Replying in an existing discussion thread
– Starting a new discussion thread that branches off an existing one (does the user click a button? are all replies to top-level comments branches? does the software automatically decide where the branch points are, somehow?)
– Starting a new, independent discussion thread (if this is a comment-ish system, this might be mostly a side effect of posting a blog entry)
– Viewing user profiles of other users
– Following another user
– Sending a message to another user (not all systems have this, but some do)
I am probably trapped on the path of looking at current things, though. My list here is definitely heavily influenced by phpBB and its imitators, which is a bit odd because I’m not currently active on any such forums.
Are you familiar with Discourse? It’s an open source attempt to re-think online discussions. It has some interesting features, but also some weird issues.
See comment above about Discourse:) I do like the feature that they have where you can start an entirely new branch of discussion by breaking away from the main discussion, but it’s still not easy to work with.
I’m not currently using an BBSs either, but there are some benefits to forums over comment systems to nurture discussion. Discourse, Disqus, IntenseDebate, Kinja, phpBB, Vanilla, Reddit style comments and forums are generally pretty flat – even when you can break slightly away from the main convo with threading.
I’m definitely on board with the features needed that you’ve listed above, but was trying to pull even further up to think about /how/ we talk about things. I’m just brainstorming right now, but my brain’s kind of going like this:
How does conversation normally occur? Say you are at a party of all Toasties, but all the conversations are documented, and you can drop in at any time. You’d be able to walk up, check out the history of the conversation to get up to speed, then participate or not, tap someone’s shoulder to discuss a tangent in fuller detail or privately, etc. If you had nothing to offer, you could absorb (or not), then circle to the next group conversation. Each new person/convo that came in could be easily seen by those already present. If it was something that you were not interested in, could you mute/ignore so that you didn’t have to revisit every time you did a circle of the room? It’d be nice to be able to archive things – like some of the great recipe threads, or advice threads (I know I reread some of the better ones to get me through tough times), so that they are easy to find and direct others to if needed.
What other features would be nice IRL conversations that could be incorporated (somehow, not there yet!) in a digital format? Or what advantages does the format give us over IRL interactions?
I am coming at this from a weird angle (there are former programmers in my head, we were active on Usenet a lot in the 90s, etc etc), but … I think what I would like is the navigable list on one side and the comments on the other. I mean I am sure there is a reason that nobody uses frames any more, but having a comment tree that you can navigate and then what you click on is the thread you get makes ‘sense’ to me. But then that is not actually what you are asking. 🙂
When I am at a party I/we stand around listening to everyone, paying attention to the words floating by to try to find the words I am really interested in (and avoid any words that sound like they would be problems), and also I am watching body language to see who would be welcoming if I walked into their conversation and who is clearly in an intense intimate interaction where other people aren’t welcome.
I have /no idea/ how you would do that in software — I mean okay I might have some little ideas, but they seem awfully messy to implement. And I do think an advantage to this over IRL interactions is that people can’t signal ‘unwelcome’ as easily, so then everyone is welcome, so then people meet each other instead of staying in their little circles. The thing I *dis*like about typical forums is that there is more of that feeling of ‘this is a thread for Group X stay away’.
Ah, interesting. As a bit of a wallflower, I’m not sure I’d want to be easily seen by everyone as soon as I came in.
I phrased that poorly. My meaning was, if you had something to share/ask/comment, new conversations would easily be seen. As we know, if you don’t make it to the OT early, the chances of getting your post seen are slim to none. A simple “not yet seen” indicator would help with that.
That depends a bit on how you define “early”. The first few threads get the most seen and have the most replies, but later threads often have replies from people who found them via sorting by “Last Activity”. Looking at last week’s open thread, most of the comments on the last page have multiple replies or several thumbs up or both. The last few are a little more lonely, but I think they were quite late, after most people had ceased open threading for the week.
I really like the idea of being able to archive certain things, like the recipe threads or book recommendation threads like you mentioned. Also maybe there could be a way to automatically have the recurring threads that people do every week, like the cat thread, sports thread, personal finance, etc. and have them be linked to previous weeks somehow.
It really feels like it needs to be a hybrid of a variety of different components, and when I start thinking about it more…am I just talking about yet another social media platform? Like a social club with a common area for general conversations, a library for archived/ongoing threads, sitting areas and nooks for more private conversations, wager books to precipitate duels, bulletin boards for requests/offers, etc.
I think I’m over-thinking this. It happens.
I’m in UX/design and would like to help!
Is there somewhere else we can take this conversation so make it more workable? Maybe a Google HO?
See! This is why we need to be able to break off, yet keep connected, conversations!
I haven’t really figured out Google Hangouts but if you think that would work, sure.
IT’S TIME FOR ANOTHER FRIDAY CAT THREAD!
an older pair of pictures this time, one of when I tried and failed to catch Anne standing up for a treat (she has no pride when it comes to treats)
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And one of Bonny being interested in a neighbour’s pond.
OK, so maybe this is weird. But, when we got Anne and Bonny they were tiny. We were told ten weeks, but they may have only been eight weeks. And I think Bonny, who we all remember is not bright, thinks I am her mother.
This is mostly cute except when she goes to my breasts, starts kneading them, and places an open mouth above my nipple area. I never know what to do about this. I move har, she comes straight back because she is very stubborn. It weirds me out a bit, but I shouldn’t put human attitudes on a cat who is probably just relaxing herself, right?
I’ve got two new fosters! They’re 7-month-old brothers, Winter and Silver.
Ahhhhhhhhhh! SO CUTE
aw, they are handsome boys!! pretty handsome boys!
aaaand, reading what i just typed, this seems timely:
I love that xkcd. “YOU’RE A KITTY!” is pretty much how I react to cats, too.
Yes, also I tell my Beasty Boy YOU ARE FLUFFY
I love that half grown stage in a cat!
For Halloween.
Miss murderous expression has been so cuddly since it started getting cold. Winter is purring.
YOU HAVE WON THE INTERNET
She bristles! I loooooove this pic.
There’s nothing Patrick loves more than Halloween. I mean, except for everything else.
Here he is today:
Dawwww pumpkin cat.
Oh, and here’s a BONUS VIDEO of the PRETTIEST DOG IN THE WORLD (my dog) being such a good girl so I’ll give her her dinner. She loves her dinner. She thinks dinner should happen an hour earlier every day.
https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=102047979326…
I used to have a kitten who would try to nurse on my earlobe. It was very confusing and tickled, too.
If it makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to let her do it — maybe give her something else to focus on instead, like a toy she can chew on?
Because she’s intensely stupid it’s hard to get her to focus on anything other than her intended target. She’s also not especially toy-orientated. I think I’ll just have to stick with my current method, which is to gently direct her towards my shoulder.
Chetta thinks all days should be National Cat Day, and in our house, they pretty much are.
Saffron looks like she ought to have a teddy bear
My mother in law bought Lana a witch hat but she does not want anything to do with it.
I’ve had a happy cat week, despite a few scatological misdemeanors (them not me) because I rehomed the stray sick kitten we took in over a month ago! Such a street yet sweet young couple, with gold teeth and neck tattoos, and they spent like a whole evening at my house getting to know this tiny shy kitty, playing with her and feeding her treats. They’ve been in touch since and said all is well. My own cat is much happier now and is being so cute and affectionate 🙂
One on my cats (she was three when we got her, apparently, and is now sixteen) has always done something similar. She doesn’t go straight for breasts, thankfully, but likes to suck on people’s clothing while kneading (with claws out), and keeps it up for ages. It can be awkward, but she’s clearly not going to stop, and if it comforts her then I don’t want to just push her off. (I was a thumb-sucker into my teens, so I emphasise with her.)
IT’S THE BEST DAY OF THE YEAR YOU GUYS
I have no pictures of my costume yet but I love Halloween so much and I’m going to be Cruella de Vil, and am just genuinely excited to finally dress up in something glam when I spent the last two years dressed as A. Ralph Wiggum As Idaho and B. Garth Algar.
Speaking of which, may I humbebrag and announce that Boyfriend and I are on Mashable as Garth and Wayne? LINE UP FOR AUTOGRAPHS PLEASE. http://mashable.com/2014/10/25/last-minute-couple…
SCHWING!!!!
Congrats on the Mashable, that is awesome!
We’re not worthy!
Toasties! I officially got a new job!! I am leaving my First Real Job at the end of next month to move back to North Carolina, where I will be moving in with my boyfriend. We’ve been four hours apart for three and a half years now and I can’t believe we’re actually going to be in the same place again.
Telling my bosses this week that I was leaving was terrifying, but it actually went okay. And the reality of what I’m doing is slowly sinking in. New job! New city! New stage in romantic relationship! All at once! Any words of advice/encouragement are greatly appreciated. 🙂
Congratulations! Where in NC? I spent six years in Durham and still kinda miss it. And by “it” I mean hush puppies, omg.
Thank you! Raleigh, a city I am at least somewhat familiar with (I went to UNC and made many visits to friends who went to NC State). Yesssss, hush puppies. Somehow I did not take them into account when deciding whether to move back, and this seems like a massive oversight.
Durham is the best! Huzzah!
Congratulations! You’re going to do great.
Thank you!
Congrats! It sounds like you did this the smarter way. I moved halfway across the country in March to be with my fiance (we’d been long distance for three and a half years as well), and it’s been quite an adventure. I’m temping while I jobhunt, and it has been way more discouraging than I thought it would be. It sucks to go from being a Senior Something to making copies and stuffing folders, but it’s still a treat to get to see him every day. So go you for doing the job part first! Enjoy the adventure!
The hardest part for me so far is not letting him become my whole world. I joined a gym, I’ve gone to some Meetup.com outings, but I have yet to find My People. So my advice/encouragement would be to enjoy the little delights of living together, but still try to leave him at home sometimes. 🙂
Good luck with your own job search! 🙂 And thank you very much for the advice. I am an extreme introvert, so staying in and not making an effort to find My People would be tempting. But I will try to find them.
Celery, welcome back to the land of Krispy Kreme and CookOut! So excited for you!
Thank you! I’m going to be living less than 5 minutes from a CookOut. So many milkshakes in my future.
Who else is just not a Halloween person? Please take refuge here with me so we can talk about not costumes, etc. What are you doing tonight? I’m planning on making stew, doing some crafting, and generally being a hermit!
I am housesitting, so I will be putting in earplugs and turning off the porchlight and going to bed by ten so that when this cat wakes me at 5:30 to be fed I do not want to murder her. I may, at some point during, go to the library and get Mrs Piggle Wiggle books to read.
Meeee! I mean, I love the idea of Halloween (I like autumn and spooky things), but I don’t like getting dressed up. I am going to make something warm and toasty for dinner, drink red wine, and watch scary movies.
I’m going to a friend’s birthday, and taking the opportunity to be with friends alone (my partner is at a whisky tasting) to talk about the SURPRISE party I’ve got planned for him, that’s happening in TWO WEEKS. I am a talker, so not being able to talk about the party has been killing me. Yay!!!
Apart from wearing my unicorn head at work, I don’t intend to do anything Halloween-y. It’s been a long week of feeling like crap, so I just want to get some takeout tonight and spend the evening watching Twin Peaks with my husband. I live in an apartment building so at least I don’t have to take special measures to avoid trick or treaters.
I live in an apartment as well and even though I’ve never gotten trick or treaters I’m always afraid that this will be the year. Especially as it’s raining/snowing today…
I have nothing against it, but I’m in the UK and live in a block of flats so no kids coming round for sweets and nothing really happening. I am about to go and ride the horse and will then be home and doing nothing in particular.
Catching up on Korra, Adventure Time, and Bob’s Burgers.
I’m in the same boat. It’s just not my cup of tea. Some years I’ll think of a cool costume, but with the rise in popularity of cosplay it seems like costumes have to be balls to the wall elaborate or accurate, and that stresses me out.
I have extreme costume anxiety, resulting from a childhood with a creative, thrifty mother who didn’t have her finger on the pulse of cool children’s costumes, but was very enthusiastic and could sell me on anything. So it seems like a whole bunch of wild prep for a night that may or may not be cool. Meh.
So just like New Years then?
EXACTLY. Another holiday I’m never very excited about.
Sent from my iPhone
OH you guys are my people. The anxiety of preparation for fun that only ends up being fun about 15% of the time is just too much. Also had the mother that did awesome creative things that the other kids never got.
I hate new year, such an anticlimax. Oh, it’s midnight, well done. Can I go to bed now?
I’ll go watch the neighborhood halloween parade, because parade,, but other then that I’m out. I’m just not that into costumes and scary movies.
I like Halloween alright, but I’m hibernating it out this year. Kid’s too young to trick-or-treat, I’m too pregnant to stash her with a babysitter and go out, and we don’t ever get trick-or-treaters at our place (boooo). I believe takeout and finishing the second half of North by Northwest are our exciting plans.
I envy good costumes in other people but just don’t seem to have the moxy to pull them off myself? Looking forward to an evening of knitting in my pjs while drinking cider and catching up on the contents of my PVR.
I prefer to avoid cooperating with the retail industry. Trick of Treat feels like manipulation from the candy manufacturers. No judgment on those who buy and distribute candy. I may change my habits in future.
Plus, he’s diabetic and we’re both fat, and neither of us has much self-control.
Anyway, my Beloved and I studiously stay out all evening. A movie, dinner, another movie. Already made a spreadsheet of movies, times, locations, critic ratings. Because that’s what happens when my ridiculous job keeps me idle. I make spreadsheets.
Any excuse to make a spreadsheet.
On the retail note: the one upside to working retail is that you can say “no, after x time working at best walgart city I just stopped celebrating holidays” and people will just nod and accept it! Even holidays that no body shops for.
Persimmons!!! [heart eyes] I told my mom yesterday that it is my favorite season, persimmon season, & her response was “you’re so funny.” For some reason I always forget what they are called (I did not grow up with them, hence my mom thinking I’m weird) and always want to call them kaki, which is their name in Turkish.
Weird, I thought they were hurma in Turkish (same as dates), but apparently they are also called kaki!
Since no official decree went out in the office that it was okay to wear costumes (but also nobody said I couldn’t), I’m wearing this right now:
It’s a shitty Halloween store wig but I didn’t want to risk ruining one of my good cosplay ones. HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!
Can I make an obligatory pre-election reminder? If you’ve got some free time this weekend consider volunteering to get out the vote. Campaigns always need somebody to go door to door and remind supporters to vote. That’s what I’m doing all weekend. I can’t guarantee it will be fun, but at the very least you’ll get a good walk out of it.
And if you’re free on Election Day and have a car, you can also see if any local campaigns for non-turds are offering people rides to the polls, especially elderly people and people who live in neighborhoods with shitty public transportation.
Happy Halloween everyone! Here is a link to a list of some of the most fucking terrifying images found in the classic “Scary Stories To Tell In the Dark” (and it’s subsequent sequels) by Alvin Schwartz. Enjoy! (Also, oh my god, HAROLD)
http://tuneinrockon.wordpress.com/2011/10/28/the-…
OMG 9 AND 13
Harold and THE DREAM will always be THE most terrifying. nightmares forever.
bless u, stephen gammell.
All I remember is the story of a girl who gets a spider bite and then a million spiders hatch from it. I’m like, 90 percent sure that’s not how spiders work, but I am still terrified of that image.
That was the one that always got me because I thought oh my god, this could actually happen this could actually happen
13 is the one that always terrified me the most when I was young.
The fact that they “redesigned” these books by removing these illustrations and inserting far tamer ones is a TRAVESTY.
I had to buy copies of all the originals of these, once I heard the changed the illustrations. They were what made those books scary!
It’s slow at work today, so I’m spending it watching documentaries/reading stories about serial killers on YouTube. Yup, true crime y’all. I also started reading The Silence of the Lambs yesterday, so I’m in deep.
I’m dressing up like Mac from Veronica Mars! The shirt wasn’t work appropriate, so I’ll have to wait to show it off. (For those of you who know VM, it’s the Ask Me About My STD shirt from S3E9.)
I draw a comic pretty regularly and for Halloween I drew one that I poured a lot more emotion into than I usually do. Internet friends picked up on me needing more positive affirmation about this particular comic than usual and they provided. It was a really wonderful experience.
The comic is here: http://cowbirdsinlove.com/1531. It’s about my reflections on growing as a person. Usually I just do puns.
Anyone else want to share some art?
I have no art to share but I just want to say I have been reading cowbirds in love for years and I sort of freaked out a week or two ago when I found you in the comments section.
Also, I really enjoyed your Halloween comic.
Oh wow! Thank you!
I don’t have any art to share, but are you me? because the more I like someone, the faux-meaner I am to them. It’s a really hard habit to break.
(Also, this is an appropriate place to say that I’m rereading Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly right now, and as always, it’s highly recommended and relevant to this problem.)
Oh great. As if I needed another thing on my reading list.
(Thank you.)
Oh man, can we do an art thread each week? (he said, having been lazy all week with nothing to show)
That is an awesome comic. You rock!
I really loved reading this!
Ok, so dude I sorta know posted a book haul on facebook. 13 books. Guess how many female authors?
So I lightheartedly commented on this fact… and now he’s published an article in a newspaper about it, mentioning what happened, quoting some statistics about who literary prizes tend to go to, urging everyone to read more women. Which is good! And I’m glad I was a factor in making him aware of this, but at the same time: why is it always the (white) dudes who get to be acclaimed for finally realizing this thing that women (and POC, though this article was only about the gender aspect) have been clamoring about for ages? Why does he get the article and the praise? I mean, I like the dude, and again, I’m glad he wrote the article and has good intentions now, but it’s frustrating to see male voices promoted over female ones yet again, especially in this context. </rant>
Valid point about the “getting praised for being a decent person,” but it’s been an emotionally rough week and I was SO GLAD this comment didn’t go in the, “now he’s published an article in a newspaper about it, mentioning what happened, and writing me off as a ‘crazy feminist’, male tears, etc.” direction. Baby steps. Teeny tiny baby steps.
Like when Thumbelina was a baby. That tiny a step.
In full agreement here. Like, I’m glad you’ve seen the light or whatever, but just because you just now opened the blinds doesn’t mean the sun wasn’t shining before…
Is it ok if I steal that metaphor? Because that is perfect.
Steal away! 🙂
PRINCESS AS PROMISED Y’ALL. This is my trivia team, the best people (I am Belle):
(also, hello anyone I know in real life..!)
HEY GIRL
That bearded Jasmine is killing me
That’s my boyfriend! He is trying and failing to make a duckface.
You are all ridiculously attractive (and I’m presuming your sexy mojo boosted your trivia performance!)
I love that your Ariel has a fork/dinglehopper behind her ear!
And that is a fabulous Belle costume. I prefer the blue to the traditional yellow dress.
Aw thanks! The blue dress is definitely more what I picture when I think of Belle, plus the yellow dress would’ve been IMPOSSIBLE and I am pretty lazy.
Hello fellow princesses!
yessssssss
Today is Halloween, so it is time for a mandatory viewing of the KXVO Pumpkin Dance.
Also, I declare this to be VIDEOGAME OPEN THREAD. What are you all playing this weekend? Something spooky? Something shooty? I’m playing Alien: Isolation, which is a terrible idea because it is UNBELIEVABLY STRESSFUL and you’re constantly hiding under tables from the xenomorph and the music is crescendoing and then my cat jumped on my keyboard and aaaaahhhhh. It’s a really great recreation of the first movie, which means I really should stop playing.
PUMPKIN DANCE!!
This is my videogame reminder to any other Pokémon players that you should probably go to Gamestop and get your Diancie card before they run out. I went on Wednesday and the guy said that they only had about four left by the time I stopped by!
I just learned that the deluxe version of King of Dragon Pass has been ported to Android. That’s my weekend spoken for.
i start watching the pumpkin dance in like, august, in preparation.
Crusader Kings 2! I’m the beloved and prosperous king of Ireland and Wales, with my eye on a pan-Celtic empire in the next century.
I’m playing Banished, a relaxing city builder, and I’ve gotten past the point where my people are really at risk of mass starvation at all and the game becomes a bit boring, so I decided to start accepting every single group of nomads who comes by until I get the 200 nomads cheevo. I look forward to many influenza epidemics.
I am also playing a little indie RPGMaker game called Last Dream (GET IT?! HO HO) which is actually quite good. It gets a lot of criticism for using stock graphics and animations but they’ve absolutely made up for it in game balance and the sheer depth of the content. As an old-school SNES-era JRPG it absolutely is fun and worth the cheap price. And they even have Chocobos (excuse me, “Giant Moas”)!
My macbook is getting real fucking old for playing video games – I wanted to finally buy Bioshock Infinite off Steam because it was on sale, but I don’t think I’d be able to run it 🙁
I watched my boyfriend play Alien Isolation and I was like “pssh this isn’t scary” until the atmosphere caught up with me and I was clutching at his couch.
I responded above too, but I’m still playing Civ: Beyond Earth. I might have to check out Alien Isolation.
I foresee a lot of recovering on the couch in my future (Halloween indie/punk dance night at a local bar tonight!), so I’ll probably be playing Dragon Quest I and II on my Android phone in between poking at what is hopefully my second-to-last reincarnation in Game of Thrones: Ascent.
Tomb Raider. I have… mixed feelings.
NOT A SAINT: Just got an aerial yoga gym setup in the mail that will only be used incidentally for yoga. This is going to be a fun weekend. IF only I could figure out how to hang it securely/properly…
2nd post: HELPPPP. A man in my office (we are in different groups & don’t work together), who I could tell has a little thing for me, asked me the other day if I have a boyfriend, and then, when he heard I’m boyfriend-less, just TOLD me that he’s taking me out. 1. Ugh ugh ugh ugh that is disrespectful & I’m tired of explaining to my friends that that’s not cool. 2. Any tips for turning down someone you will bump into again & again?
gross, i’m sorry.
i’d go with a simple, “sorry, i’m not interested.” direct, polite, if he pushes, there’s no ambiguity.
Acting confused also sometimes works. It forces the dude to make explicit everything he’s implying. So, for instance, if he tried to make plans, very innocently go “Huh? Wait, I’m sorry, I may just completely be blanking on this, but when exactly did I agree to go out with you?” [insert something about conversation when you mentioned boyfriendlessness] “no, see, I remember telling you I didn’t have a boyfriend. I just don’t remember saying or even suggesting I would be interested in going out with you” – etc. Warning: this can get awkward, but it can also be HUGELY satisfying.
Amazing.
Also — yeah it’s awkward, but HE made it awkward first!!! Let it be awkward then just give it to him to handle. HERE YOU GO I THINK THIS IS ALL YOURS.
YES YES YES
ach_so, you aren’t making this awkward. He is. And he’s doing it because it works; women are generally socialized to absorb and accommodate other people’s social transgressions, and men expect it.
You aren’t making it awkward, but you can let it be awkward. “No, I’m not interested,” repeated as necessary, is a nice clear way to do that if it’s a good fit for you, but any phrase you want to use is fine.
It can be hard to resist stepping in to soften the blow; it’s often our prescribed social role and filling it can feel natural. But resisting it is a very, very powerful move.
You are totally right on all accounts. I hate how awkward it is, even though it’s completely his doing, and I feel like I have to make the blow as soft as possible. It’s been very empowering to read all of these responses (no surprise, I knew Toasties would come through for me!).
Everyone’s answer is the best, but in a real-world freakout when you want to say no, but need to remain a “lady” for a person you’ll need to deal with in the day-to-day, is to affect a tragic loss of opportunity:
“Thank you so much, but I just can’t.”
“I’m afraid it’s just impossible, I’m sorry.”
“You are so kind, but I just cannot. Ever. I cannot explain. It’s too complicated.”
“I can’t go into it here at work, but I’m not in a position to say yes. Thank you for understanding.”
rats – there is a continuation of my advice downthread! It showed up in the wrong place! Rats!
I cannot imagine replying to that with anything other than “um, no you’re not”. Ewwww on so many levels.
Any tips for turning down someone you will bump into again & again
Nothing that is 100% guaranteed not to result in a warrant for your arrest, no.
As they say on the advice forums, “No” is a complete sentence. (For an officemate I’d bump into again and didn’t want to completely alienate, I’d expand it to “No, thank you.”)
My gut reaction would be to start laughing and then go “hard pass”
Oh man, I love that.
SHAME HIM by laughing really hard and saying “oh my god, that would be so inappropriate and weird, we’re coworkers!! You’re funny.” and if he says he’s serious, stop laughing and stare at him silently for a loooooong moment until he says something super weird (he will, just hold onto the silence), and then just say, “this is a little awkward. ” Then he’ll be so weirded out by his own behavior he will avoid you forever.
AND now a meatball has popped out of my sandwich and rolled down my (white) shirt, I am so done.
I started therapy a few weeks ago and this week it got REALLY REALLY HARD YOU GUYS D: D: D:
I feel like I’m itchy on the inside of my skin. Hopefully the exercise where I write for 5 minutes per day about my abusive ex boss will help get that comprehensive pile of garbage out of my brain and I can stop feeling faint when my current awesome boss closes the door when we have meetings.
I’d love to hear positive therapy experiences, but would prefer to leave alone horrible abusive sexist boss for now, plsthx.
Therapy is so deceptive like that, we all think it’s going to be this magical hour of fuzziness that will make us feel fabulous and empowered, but actually dealing with business requires feeling like shit for a while. It’s okay that your therapy is hard – that’s a good sign. I’ve been in therapy for a couple of years now and it has been wonderful at times, and really awful at times, but ultimately transformative and I’m really happy with the results!
Good luck to you. It will get better!
I’ve been going to therapy for a year and it is in the top three best decisions of my life. I can’t even put into words how much I have learned to trust my instincts, lean into my feelings, and forgive myself. I feel completely transformed, and even other people have noticed. Also, my therapist looks like the love child of Lorraine Bracco and Shoshana Bean, so that’s kind of fantastic.
Therapy has been great for me!! I’m so glad you’re taking that step, and I hope your therapist is someone you genuinely like. Personally, the best part has been that my therapist lets me FEEL MY FEELS. I thought I’d be all embarrassed about crying or whatever but she is so kind and she just lets me be me and then we talk it out!
Yay, good for you!
I went to therapy in university because I was having a really stressful time dealing with my parents who were very strict and had issues with letting me become an adult and I was going through a tough period with an emotionally-abusive long-distance relationship. She was really great and put up with me trying to cancel sessions a lot because I was nervous and didn’t feel like talking that day. My boyfriend is also going to therapy right now and he’s making great headway on getting over his resistance to change and his lack of confidence in himself and tendency to beat himself up over everything. I am worried though because this particular therapist really seems to be helping him, but she’s moving and he’d getting a different therapist who I hope is just as great.
Yes, therapy can be such hard work… it often means you’re doing the work that is meaningful, but it’s also really important for your therapist to know if you’re feeling super uncomfortable afterwards. They can help you manage that discomfort some, and may modify how they work with you to help improve how you feel. Best of luck! good work!
Thanks everyone! Yes, we actually talked through this exercise in my session last week, which is why it’s only 5 minutes per day now instead of “write down everything you want to say to him” because when she proposed that I had a panic attack right then and there.
It gets worse before it gets better. But if you put in the work, it DOES get better. Substantially. Enough to make you grudgingly accept that feeling worse was the right thing to do. Even though, y’know, it fucking sucks.
I’m back in therapy after a few years out of it and so far all it’s done is put my emotional baseline at anxious. Orrr maybe I was getting to the anxious baseline anyway and that’s why I’m in therapy. I don’t know. What I’m saying is I totally hear you on the “it got hard” thing.
But! Therapy has helped me before. It was a place, when I was figuring out that I was bisexual, that I could say things I was afraid to say out loud and have someone hear it, and that was really beneficial for me, because when I only write that kind of thing down I tend to get stuck in negative spirals. :/
I’m five weeks into an eight week two days a week group therapy program and it’s been really great! It focuses on mindfulness and cognitive behavioural therapy and it’s really helped me become more aware of my emotions and less judgy with myself. It can be really REALLY hard but also I think I’ve been seeing some improvement in my ability to do things.
I dressed as Rosie the Riveter, but very few people knew who I was (jerks).
And today, since work sucks, I’m going to spend the day reading all the spooky *true* ghost stories on reddit/jezebel/wherever that I can find. I want to be terrified of everything by 5 o’clock!
It’s the DEFINITION of iconic Americana. Who wouldn’t get it????
Ugh, I went as Rosie a few years ago, and even though I HAD ON A BIG BUTTON WITH THE ORIGINAL IMAGE FOR REFERENCE, the people who came into the cafe where I worked largely thought I was Lucille Ball.
Most people are idiots, but Lucille Ball might be more iconic than Rosie.
My Rosie poster is reading this over my shoulder in disbelief. She is shocked, shocked.
That’s an awesome costume! I was thinking of dressing up as her this year.
Jezebel posted 11 more stories – Look At Me is amazing!! D:
http://jezebel.com/11-more-of-the-scariest-storie…
No, Look at Me is TERRIFYING
That, too. Holy shit.
Another Rosie here! I’m sorry those jerks didn’t know who you were. I was pleasantly surprised that a lot of people recognized me, mainly because I work with international students and wasn’t sure whether the image would be familiar. But people seemed to get it when I struck the pose, and I also learned that the poster has been adapted by women in Saudi Arabia who are pressing for the right to drive. The more you know!
Has anyone ever gone to a comedy show or concert by yourself? Tell me your stories of inspiration!
I impulsively bought tickets last night to see Tig Notaro in a couple weeks. NO REGRETS. But I might be going alone, which is not so bad because I feel like Tig and I have, like, a CONNECTION, you know. But still, it’s definitely outside my comfort zone.
Don’t worry! You’ll be okay. All you need is your phone and a drink. My usual route is just to get really drunk and smile at people until they talk to me. PLUS, I feel like the people who would go to see Tig Notaro would be significantly cooler than the people at most other comedy shows.
I go to concerts alone all the time! Once, I went to a music festival by myself because my friend bailed on me at the last minute. It worked out super well, though, because I ended up falling in love with a band and going to see all three of their sets that day, and I didn’t have to worry about my friend getting bored.
If it’s outside of your comfort zone, maybe bring a book or something to do in case you feel awkward standing alone. On the other hand, I’ve usually found that people like to chat before shows, and it can be a nice low-pressure way to meet new people.
I do stuff alone all the time, and love it mostly. Sometimes you make nice concert friends! Last time I went to a concert alone I went really early so I could stand in the front row and ended up talking to these two middle aged dudes while I was in line and stood by them at the concert, the nicest guys, total Dads, who I probably never would have talked to otherwise.
Everyone should only go to the movies alone, it’s the ideal way.
Definitely yes regarding going to movies alone. I actually did that for the first time last week and it was great!
I go to a lot of shows solo, it’s fun! Sometimes I chat up people next to me before the show starts, sometimes not. The only things I feel awkward at (solo) are dance parties.
I saw The Blow by myself last year and it was awkward for like a minute while the opening band was playing, but when they were done I scurried up to the front and was dancing and it was great! Highly recommend.
I used to go to comedy shows alone all the time! It’s lonely in the intermission but at least the comedians don’t pick on you… unless you’re in a tiny audience and are making bemused faces at jokes you don’t understand because their accent is slowing down your comprehension.
I went and saw Chelsea Peretti alone last year. A few friends were all noncommittal about going or not so I just bought a ticket. It was at a bar in Ballard (Seattle neighborhood) and it was the hardest I’ve laughed in ages. I also had some beer.
I saw Joanna Newsom perform Ys in its entirety twice by myself. The second time was with a full orchestra. No one I know likes her that much. They were both awe-inspiring. I talked with people at both shows mostly about how great she is and other music/bands that we liked.
Plus 1 for being in Seattle! I’m very inspired by everyone’s stories. Sometimes it’s just nice to be validated, ya know?
Yes, I go to all sorts of things on my own – if I didn’t I’d never go anywhere and bugger that. Definitely agree take a book for the pre-event bits. I have also made all sorts of gig-friends chatting to people in the queue to get in, some of whom have become proper friends.
Think about it this way: it’s not like you can do that much chatting during a comedy show/concert/movie anyway! So it’s a great thing to do alone.
Yes! I went to a live Professor Blastoff podcast a couple years ago. It was pretty cool, because I was surrounded by people who were laughing at the same things I was laughing at. It did suck to not have a friend to talk to before the group came out though; but overall, A+ experience!
Ah, cool! I’ve been listening to those podcasts recently like my life depends on it.
I went to a concert by myself and met a now-good friend of mine! And then that friend of mine had to back out of another concert recently and I went by myself again and it was great! I had a beer, meandered around, didn’t make any friends but generally had a good time. I think about it this way – I am much, much happier I went to those shows by myself and saw them and had that experience than not gone because I was going to be alone.
I go single to a lot of things since The Beloved doesn’t share a lot of my musical (or social) tastes. It’s actually pretty great. I’ve gotten to where now sometimes if he asks if I want him to accompany me, I say no. =D Tip: always have a drink in your hand (even if it’s just club soda) so fewer people are likely to ask if they can buy you a drink. Or (my preferred method) cultivate a truly spectacular Bitch Face to discourage people from approaching you. Unless you want to meet people, in which case, awesome! and good luck!
yes! i would highly highly highly recommend it. i’ve gone to a few shows by myself and, while i also like doing things with friends, there’s something special about doing things by yourself. you go, and get to kind of selfishly do whatever you like, and then you can mull it over by yourself afterward.
also, when you tell people that you went to an event by yourself, cool people will be impressed, and awful people will be like, “oh how sad”—an excellent way to weed out awful people.
SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS HEY GUYS SPORTS HAPPENED
Congratulations the the San Francisco Baseball Giants for pissing the rest of us off to no end by inexplicably winning your 3rd title in 5 years. Kidding, yeah alright, congrats, enjoy it guys. Also, way to set your town on fire again! America!
Bron Bron! Haha, Bron Bron, you were EXCITED last night weren’t you!? That early alley oop attempt to Bron from Varejao was all I needed to see to know how that game was going to go. But hey! I don’t blame the guy. I have a feeling he’ll be just fine soon enough.
Over under on the Lakers winning 10 games this year?
RGIII will be our starter this week. I guess I agree with this, he’s our guy and he needs to play if he’s 100%, no doubt, but…we really couldn’t just sit him one more week against a Vikings team we should beat with either QB, which would give him one more week PLUS the bye week before Tampa and a chance at 5-5? Eh…
Real Madrid ended Barcelona’s unbeaten streak, with a 3-1 win in Saturday’s El Classico. Luis Suarez, as far as we can tell, bit no one.
Happy Halloween, guys! Go be champions out there this weekend! Now talk to me!
Bumgarner, oh man. Gotta hand it to him. Did you read that adorable article about his dad that was in the NYT? http://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/31/sports/baseball…
His dad’s text! My heart.
OMG
Yeah there’s really no reason to risk RGIII this week — the Vikings are awfulllll.
My fantasy team is actually in good shape for the first time in like, two years! LeVeon Bell, Philip Rivers,Mike WAllace, TY Hilton, Jason Witten — all doing very very well for me!
Also, soooooo excited to see the Steelers vs Whatever shitass bird they’re playing this Sunday night!!!
What is a Steeler supposed to be anyway?? Someone who makes steel? An anthropomorphic I-beam?? Ravens are regal, dignified birds featured in a canonical piece of American literature and they are going to KICK YOUR TEAM’S ASS.
[I still love all Toasties, including you, regardless of your unfortunate NFL team affiliation.]
Actually, yes, mostly, to the “someone who makes steel” thing. Ravens are basically just crows, let’s be honest here.
No no, they are much bigger than a regular crow or blackbird!
That website also says they eat poop, soooooo 😛
Damn, touche.
I mean, uh, who doesn’t eat poop? wait, no, that’s not how trash talking works.. ^^;
I actually truly laughed out loud at my desk. SO glad my office is dead on Fridays. Love you guys even if you have distressingly terrible NFL fandoms 😀
Yeah you’ve got some studs in your lineup there.
It’s just the bye week dangling in front of us that makes the decision to start him so conflicting.
Yeah I’m in better shape than my partner, who had Adrian Peterson, Knowshon Moreno, and Victor Cruz, among others.
Oh jesus, womp womp for that team.
I just want to say, as a Giants fan, that the Royals could easily have won this thing and I have nothing but respect for them and their fans who were also great.
It was a great series for sure, loved every minute of it despite not having a true horse in the race. Baseball is the best.
I am pleased that SF Bumgarner Giants won and dashed the hopes of KC because I am full of SPITE!
Also Hunter Pence makes hilarious faces.
[Okay, my saltiness for KC may actually fade by Pitchers and Catchers. Or maybe not.]
+1 to this. I’m gonna try not to hold a grudge but I’m just really good at grudge-holding, so.
Hunter Pence’s faces make the whole thing acceptable.
Hunter Pence is a human muppet. Madison Bumgarner is superman.
Someone on here called the Giants “cockroaches in the postseason” earlier in the playoffs. So true.
I convinced that that team is actually made up of cartoon characters.
Here have a Pandawink.
Hunter Pence looks like a long-lost Pontipee brother (from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers) and I LOVE it. (the beard is 100% required, though.)
I would say I am dumbfounded that RGIII is starting against the Vikings (and prior to a bye week), but nothing that team does surprises me anymore.
Also, I grew up in Ohio, don’t care much for basketball (or Ohio) and am endlessly amused/annoyed by the LeBron hype. I do want good things for my Cleveland friends, but I just wish they could be less annoying about it.
We just escaped another season of #WINDIANS and #BELIEVELAND and #ROLLTRIBE. I’m not ready for #WEAREALLWITNESSES to crank back up again. In any case, I agree. He’ll be back to dominating soon enough. Gotta build that game-speed chemistry.
I mean…he should be starting, except…we have this golden opportunity to sneak him a little more time, because Vikings…
Kevin Love already looked sharp last night, king of the outlet pass he is.
Oh yeah. That Love/Lebron combo seems like a SportsCenter Top 10 producer’s wildest fantasy.
Apparently F. Scott Fitzgerald invented football as we know it:
http://online.wsj.com/articles/the-football-geniu…
Now only 180 more days until baseball.
GO SPURS GO!!
I’m so happy to have the NBA back and to enjoy this victory lap season for San Antonio! I don’t even care if they win the championship again, I just wanted one more before Duncan retires.
Also, I am totally getting this awesome Kawhi Leonard shirt soon:
http://breakingt.com/products/the-kawhi-hand-salu…
THAT is a great t-shirt. I myself am waiting impatiently for the return of Bradley Beal so the best backcourt in the NBA can get to work (I will go no lower than top 3, TOP 3 I SAY). Weeeee, NBA is back!!
ALSO, tell me about what horror movies you’ve seen recently!
I saw I am a Ghost recently — I thought the movie itself was pretty scary (I screamed out loud, which rarely happens), but the worst is that the scariest parts of it are bizarre terrifying nightmare logic that is able to freak me out in my own apartment in broad daylight several days later. A+!
I am terribly fond of Event Horizon — it is objectively a mediocre movie, but I think it’s plenty scary. Bonus: the women never have to endure inappropriately sexy outfits and wear practical granny panties and supportive bras, and while there is plenty of gore, none of it is rapey. (Also, I am inclined to like any universe in which FTL travel is pretty much straight out of Warhammer 40k. All hail Tzeentch!)
I watched We Are What We Are (the remake; I REALLY need to get a hold of the Mexican original because it sounds ridiculous in the best way) last night and I actually didn’t really like it even though it got good buzz? I’m down with horror movies that have a slow lead time and then a big, terrifying payoff (consequently Audition is one of my favourite horror movies) but I just felt like…the payoff wasn’t that great? Like, it was shocking, and my friend I watched it with who’s not good with gruesome things was appropriately horrified, but I was like *sad trombone noise*.
I volunteered at the Toronto After Dark horror film fest last week and saw a bunch of good horror movies! I don’t want to self-spam but I did write about all of them in detail here if you want some recommendations (THE BABADOOK IS SO GOOD): http://www.cinefilles.ca/2014/10/27/gimme-five-th…
Oooo, those sound really good!
Heh, I am too much of a wimp for Audition. I want to watch it, I think conceptually the premise is neat, but I am not sure I can physically bring myself to watch it. I am weak, I am no good with torture!
Audition has the distinction of being the only horror film I’ve ever had to pause while I let my gag reflex reset. That’s a highly idiosyncratic response, I grant you; it hits right on one of my peculiar YIKES spots. But still.
Why is it taking THE BADABOOK so long to get a stateside release? Perfect horror movie.
It really is. It was everything I’ve ever wanted a horror movie to be.
Event Horizon is amazing and perhaps I will watch it tonight! Recently I saw The Awakening, which is sadly not an adaptation of the Kate Chopin novel. Instead, it’s a horror movie starring Rebecca Hall and Dominic West and the woman who plays Dolores Umbridge. Anyway, it’s about a haunted boarding school and the main character lady makes her career by disproving fake magic things EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE, OBVIOUSLY. It successfully freaked me out! (It’s on Netflix.)
I have a massive soft spot for horror movies that are all about convincing skeptics that ghosties are real; I will check this out, thanks!
Have you seen 1408? It’s about a guy who specializes in debunking ~haunted houses~ staying in a legit haunted hotel room.
I maintain that Event Horizon is a cautionary tale about letting straight white men be in charge of anything.
On a related note, I really like it when black men and white women band together to make it to the end of the horror movie, heh. Thanks, Event Horizon!
My husband and I just watched Event Horizon! I was indeed scared, and it’s SO well acted. Jason Isaacs, Sam Neill, and Laurence Fishburne all in one action movie? That’s an embarrassment of riches right there.
Even more recently, we watched You’re Next. It’s an above average slasher movie that plays around with tropes in a pretty clever way. I will say that neither of these left me jarred or frightened after they ended because I wasn’t in an environment that was anything like either.
Oh, and because you listed Event Horizon not as a recent watch but as something you like, I’ll throw out my favorite horror movie: The Orphanage. I am still horrified of it years after first seeing it.
The Orphanage has been on my list for literally years, but every time I have a chance to watch it, I punk out. Will this finally be the year?!
I still sneak up behind my friend sometimes and knock on the wall. “Uno… dos… tres..”
The Descent is my favorite not-my-environment scary movie because I am already pretty solidly anti-cave.
To this day The Descent remains the only horror movie I refuse to watch again despite really loving it, because it scared me so much as a claustrophobic person and also a person who is grossed out by pale humanoid things eating people in grainy night vision.
PLEASE TELL ME YOU’VE SEEN THE GUEST
It’s by the guys who did You’re Next but is infinitely better, and stars a ripped-as-hell Cousin Matthew from Downton Abbey, clearly leaving that show was a wonderful decision because he’s great in it.
The Orphanage is great and that counting game still freaks me out. I also get a kick out of watching it because the protagonist has the same name as me, i.e. my name is Laura pronounced that way. I just show it to people all “LOOK THIS IS HOW YOU ROLL THE R”
I HAVEN’T. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN.
Yeah, I did that knock on the wall thing to a friend whenever I saw her for a while, and she was eventually my roommate so I’m sure she loved it.
Joey Comeau’s blog has a list of good horror movies with no sexual violence! http://intosurvival.blogspot.com/2012/10/some-goo…
I’ve only seen some but the ones I have seen I would highly recommend!
My amazing roommate, who has just opened an Etsy store selling hand-bound journals and other paper goods, made me a custom sketchbook using the cardboard from a box of Cisco Brewers Pumple Drumkin for the covers. Guys, it is SO CUTE. (I would post a photo but… no wifi at work and also I don’t know how. Google “Pumple Drumkin” though, you will not regret it. Also pick up a bottle or six if you’re of age because it is rather tasty.)
Anyways I’m trying to come up with theme ideas for it. Frontrunner right now is Johann Weyer’s Pseudomonarchia Daemonum, with a different drawing of a demon on each page. Accepting suggestions though. I’ve never done a themed sketchbook before!
address of this easy store, pls. Need to know for SCIENCE 🙂
She’s at https://www.etsy.com/shop/MiddleDune ! My Pumple Drumpbook is not posted there but she might post photos on her personal page soon– it is linked in her etsy profile. Check her out!! I’m really proud & also really happy with mine
Cool, thanks!!
Pumple Drumkin is the absolute cutest name for a beer ever, even if I don’t care too much for drinking it. Also, one time my significant other couldn’t quite remember the name and referred to it as “Drunkle Blumpkin,” which is AMAZE.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN, E’ERBODY! Tonight I’m going to make delicious parnsip gratin with thyme and smoked gruyere, and hand out candy to the chilluns with the handsome suitor du jour. Happy spooky happy 🙂
Mmm. Recipe?
Seconding. Holy wow that sounds delicious!!
http://food52.com/recipes/19693-parsnip-gratin-wi…
mmmm yessss
OH MY GOD
Someone in my household can’t eat parsnip so I haven’t had it for ages and I can practially taste your gratin. MMMMMmmm
Ohhhhhhh yum that looks amazing.
Here is my favourite parsnip thing right now in return: http://www.canadianliving.com/food/chestnut_and_p…
We are making this tonight as well!
NICOLE CLIFFE, if you are out there, you need to come down here and refund me several hours of my life. I (a very lackadaisical Twitter user) happened to catch your Twitter feed the other day when you were talking about mothering.com unassisted childbirth forum, and now I CAN’T STOP READING IN HORROR. One lady attempted at VBAC at home with no help and her uterus ruptured you guys.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO no nope no not reading that no no no.
D:
This is not the first time this has happened, Nicole did the same thing to me like 2-3 months ago.
My SIL has had 5 C-sections in 5 years and her doctor is like “Uh, you seriously need to space out your pregnancies more, your C-section incision does not have enough time to heal properly between procedures and this might end very badly for you” and she’s all GOD IS WATCHING OVER ME IT’LL BE FINE. Sigh.
are we secretly related? :(((
I guess this will be my scary story reading for the day :-/
OMG OMG this cruise ship one I’m only 2 pages in and it’s so so hard to read. “1. notice this is posted in the UC forum….if you don’t UC or are not supportive of UC, then feel free to keep your opinions to yourself. ” Gaaaaaaaaaah
Welp, there went half an hour. HOLY SHIT THOUGH.
that cruise ship one, omg! but i want to know what happened, did she end up having a premature baby on a cruise ship or what?!
I am an arctic bear! I basically just have this hat and a white robe, but I’m into it.
Does anybody have experience or advice about having a longtime crush on a friend? I am really trying to exorcise this crush because I want to be just friends and I want it out of my headspace.
I basically just try to keep telling myself that things will work out in the long run better if we are Just Friends, but I can’t speak to its effectiveness because the crush part never really goes away 🙁
blergh, I was thinking that might be the case.
May I ask why you want to be just friends and get it out of your head? Not that I think you shouldn’t, just curious on the background etc.
welp, the crush is more something that my brain returns to for comfort than something I want to act upon (for reasons of geography, mutual friends, and also that we just really connect as friends and I need friends more than lovers right now).
I totally understand the comfort brain crush thing!!! Brian twinz!
I found writing down all my feelings about this person in a journal was really helpful. I spent so much time ignoring those feelings and trying not to think them that I think it gave them more power, and writing everything down felt soooooo good.
Hmmmm. Rats I was hoping it was more similar to the situation I’ve been having (mild) success with, which is a guy who also lives long-distance and is just incredibly gorgeous and feminist but also pretty different from me (I refer to him to friends as ‘feminist bro’) and shows no sign of mutual interest. Basically I’ve been focusing on trying to tear out the self-esteem parts of my fixation on him (ie part of me thinks I’m not good enough to have a guy that great be into me and that makes me want him more), and to separate his attractiveness from my actual connection with him. “I love him and I think he’s incredibly handsome but those things are not necessarily related” is my mantra, and it’s kiiind of working. Also, last time I saw him he was way drunker than me and that really helped get him off the pedestal– make sure to focus on the things that are not perfect about him, without tearing him down or being unecessarily mean. That’s all I got, this is tough always 🙁
Ugh that is the worst. I have no advice. The only thing that got me over my five-year crush of a friend was finding out her BF is kind of a racist, homophobic douchebag and the knowledge that she was still with him in spite of that was what finally killed my ladyboner for her.
Good luck, bb.
“Look for flaws, and when you find one, fixate on it until you find your crush has withered and died.”
— Britomartian’s Totally Healthy Guide to Relationships
Things that worked for me:
1. Wait it out for three years.
2. Get a crush on someone else. Bonus points if they are of a different gender.
This is not fast-acting advice, I am sorry
I think #2 is key, especially if the fixating-on-a-flaw thing doesn’t work (not that I know about this personally, nope nope nope).
I’ve been into one of my friends for three years now, and the feelings have never really gone away despite other crushes and relationships and flings. He’s 500 miles away and living with someone else, so it’s very frustrating, but I think it’s getting better. Here are the things I’ve tried with some degree of success.
1. Like others have said, find the flaws. Don’t put them on a pedestal. This is harder when they’re far away and you don’t get to see them sick/grumpy/embarrassingly drunk, but know it happens. Know that they suck in some ways.
2. Accept it without trying to indulge in it too much. Don’t fight the fact that you have a crush on them or try to deny it. Let the feelings come and sit with them, then let them pass.
3. Crush on someone else! Not that this is something you can actively do, or force, but know that you will have feelings for someone else. Like I said, my feelings for my friend have lasted through other people, but those other people weren’t right for me either and I have faith that i’ll find someone I love enough that I get over my friend.
Distance, man, but that may be difficult.
!!!!
I emailed Kramerbooks in DC about inviting Mallory for a book talk and they said yes! Specifically, the store’s Event Director wrote, “Thanks for writing! We have invited Mallory to Kramerbooks and are hoping she can make an event when she next visits the East Coast.”
Ahhhh thank yo for doing that! If it happens, I can tell you for 100% certain my wife and I are there.
MALLORY PLEASE SAY YES TO THIS INVITATION
I know people say dc isn’t any good but I live here, so does my cat, we’re great
I don’t know what else people want from DC besides this!
DC is a great place and Kramerbooks is great people she said with no bias whatsoever.
Why would anyone ever say that. My cats and I are horribly offended because we too are great.
Also we have a statue of Joan of Arc on a horse in the same park as statues of Dante and James Buchanan and if that’s not some delightfully random juxtaposition I don’t know from delightfully random juxtaposition.
you are doing the Lord’s work, MolyGrease.
Yay! Thank you thank you thank you! Now how do we entice Mallory over to our lovely swamp town? I mean, in addition to all the dirtbags, we also have a lot of librarians!
I mean, the Library of Congress general reading room is, like, a shrine to books (though no longer home to a Cooper’s hawk) AND there’s a pneumatic tube system. Tubes!
Plus there’s that weird George Washington = Jesus mural on the Capitol dome.
Damn, I just harassed Politics and Prose on Twitter. Totally didn’t pay off.
I’ve gotten tweeted at by Kramerbooks when I mentioned picking something up there; clearly they are more in tune with the sauce of awesome.
Thanks @MolyGrease! Slumber party at my house after, obvs.
Oh I hope she says yes!!! I was so bummed when I saw the post about her events and the only east coast stuff was NYC. Kramerbooks was the site of the very first DC Toasties meetup so it would be extra cool if she came there!
Well done! I hope this happens!
I’m trying to force myself to savor it and read slowly because I know I’ll be so sad when it’s over. So far the demon chapter is my favorite– somehow, it really drove home how everyone has these issues when she said that sometimes she wishes she had a less crazy smile because HER CRAZY SMILE IS THE BEST.
Yeah, I tried to savor it. Like, I would just close it and gently place my hand on the cover as if Amy’s wisdom and talent could transfer over to my brain my osmosis. And then I would just open it up and read again because I neeeeeeeeded to!
The demon chapter was excellent! I’m really glad I bought it as an actual book and not an ebook because I feel like I’m going to need to refer back to certain places, and that was one of them.
I have decided to spend this Halloween by myself watching horror movies. Partly because I have nowhere to go to (when you decide to do a third year for your masters’ degree when most people just do two all your friends move away and you have no social life), and partly because I was forbidden from watching such movies as a child. I have recently gotten a taste for them, and so tell me your favourite horror movies Toasties!
(it would help if it were on netflix, or otherwise available to stream, but I welcome any suggestions!)
I am also spending tonight home alone watching horror movies! (I’m warming up with Vincent Price in The Tingler right now.) What’s your preferred flavor of horror? Classic bloodless? Gory slasher? Psychological thriller? Utter mindfuck? Something else?
I tend to like creepy horror and psychological thrillers the best.
You’d probably enjoy The Haunting, which a bunch of us livetweeted last weekend (to go with this article, she said, subtly plugging her own work). When last I checked, it wasn’t streaming on Netflix, but there are lots of streaming options at the event page I set up for the livetweet.
Be sure you’re getting the 1963 version, not the 1999 remake; even when you specify the year in the search, some streaming providers don’t distinguish between the two, but YOU SURE WILL.
I got a lot of great answers and future film selections when I asked Twitter What movie scares you the most?
For sheer psychological terror, I recommend The Vanishing, a.k.a., Spoorloos. Again, the original is generally acclaimed as much, much better than the English-language remake. I am kicking myself for missing the recent TCM broadcast of The Innocents, based on Turn of the Screw, but surely it’s streaming somewhere. And it makes a great double-feature with The Others.
Hitcock’s The Birds. The silence is what gets me. Every time.
And then there’s the stunning beauty of black and white films.
FALLEN LONDON THREAD GO GO GO
This week I found a set of Correspondence Stones with glowing sigils that make my eyes bleed and the game keeps suggesting that I figure out what their deal is by piling them on top of me and going to sleep. HA HA what could possibly go wrong
Also I signed in today and found a bunch of Hallowmas stuff which I do not understand! FESTIVE!
Absolutely nothing could go wrong!
Hallowmas:
1) You can get a Destiny, if you didn’t get one already (a glimpse into the future and a permanent +5 stat boost). You’ll need to attract a visitor (see your Lodgings) and draw the Visitor card (which is Abundant frequency).
2) Confessions: you can accumulate confessions from people who have certain menace levels and, on Nov. 5, cash them in for things as-yet unknown. This can increase trust in other players, a mechanism that hasn’t had much use . . . perhaps until now? Also I think the “Spirit of Hallowmas” quality is new this year as well.
ETA 3) Mr Huffam is reportedly going to be about looking for newspaper material, which apparently will tie into the “Spirit of Hallowmas” quality.
(My username is an_ocelot; feel free to ask me for a confession if you pick one and I show up as available on the resulting list; I’ll be trying to keep my menaces up.)
Aha! It seems that accepting a request for a confession removes a huge amount of menace. Looks like I’ll be spending the weekend getting beaten up and healed repeatedly…
Scandal confessions are by far the easiest–get a Modish Bonnet and Scarlet Stockings of Dubious Origin from the Bazaar; put one of them one, then take it off; a little Scandal will cling; then put them both on et voila! Scandal +3.
(People should feel free to send me those basically whenever.)
welp I was hoping to use this a way to grind up my dangerous without spending time in bed but instead I just succeeded at roughly 30 50% skill checks in a row -_-
And that is my spoooooky halloween proof that the RNG is real and alive and hates us all.
Heh. Spoooooooky indeed!
yes, it is perfect timing for me too, since I am alternating time at the University (where my lectures cause students to scream, go into manic jigs, and bleed from their eyeballs, and I get a lot of Nightmares myself) with preparing for a series of Big Heists, which aI am apparently terrible at, since I keep getting wildly Suspicious doing it. Feel free to solicit me for confessions too, all: La colonelle Chabert.
Is anyone else looking for candidates for the Face Tailor? He’s offering to loan me a “prestige” face for an evening as a reward if I agree to find someone for him to trade places with, but I am not sure I want his creepy reward….
I SEDUCED THE CURATE AND HIS “SISTER.” We had a lovely night together, all of us.
I am very proud of this.
I love that storyline.
I am TRYING to seduce them but oh my god, I have used up so many turns reading poetry to them and they had better be worth it.
HIGH FIVE. I was sad that we didn’t get to see more of each other, afterwards.
Me too although I’m sort of relieved that they apparently never figured out who had been stealing so many, uh… personal papers from their desks
Good job! I think I wanted to seduce both of them, but it didn’t quite work out.
I’ve not been playing as much lately. Time to remedy that!
I’ve been playing pretty consistently for the last few days (weeks? not sure, got stuck on the river for quite a while…) and it’s been fun so far. I’m not willing to drop $ on it, so it’s slow going. Just got into the Forgotten Quarters today, and my half-wild mandrake root is doing well.
And then, THEN, when you get to the University (as I just did), you get to battle NIGHTMARES. Half the time you have nightmares over legit nightmareish things, and the other half it’s really normal life crisis stuff like will my work be forgotten or oh no my reservation at the restaurant was lost will I ever make headway with the fancy people?
I’m also trying to track down a screaming map, so that’s cool.
I finally worked my way up to launching archaeological expeditions into the Forgotten Quarter!
Then I learned that expedition supplies are incredibly expensive, relative to my current stage in the game. So I’ve spent much of the past week turning out hackish short stories for the echoes.
If it’s a day ending in y, I’ll probably have nightmares to spare. Just hit up “Tobias Coiner” for Confessions of Curiosity!
You can farm the Forgotten Quarter for a good amount of secrets to buy supplies with, if you’re willing to put up with extra nightmares. It’s a bit repetitive, but you’ll end up with a ton of secrets, trinkets to sell, and good stat increases.
Just, uh… watch out for skulls.
How do you get to that point? I really want to, but I have no idea what it entails.
A card let me into the Quarter a little early for a small expenditure of Fate. I believe you can also gain access with a Street Sign (ξ5 at the Bazaar) when your Watchful gets up around 40.
Passing 60 Watchful lets you launch expeditions!
You can get 4 Supplies (I think? It might be 5) in one shot if you’re Connected to the docks, but it will cost you a lot of connections.
I got exiled to the tomb colonies for being too scandalous for the first time this week. It was actually a lot of fun!
Agree! idk what the big deal is about being exiled there, the dead folks are actually pretty dang entertaining
Sophronia Bingworthy-Jones here, checking in.
I seem to attract a lot of scandal. I find I am just fine with that. I will try to keep up all of my menaces for Hallowmas but if anyone is looking for confessions of impropriety, then I am absolutely the lady for you. Please confess all, my darlings!
(This is so much more fun than when I played a few years back – they have clearly added a lot of content since then. Yay!)
All the talk here has finally convinced me to make an account, so I’ll be exploring a bit now. I am Octopoda there as well.
Personal finance anyone?! How are we financing? I have a funny question I’d like to ask the group:
My MIL is pretty wealthy, and she really likes to show it off, she’s a brand snob, only eats at the “best” restaurants etc etc. For Christmas she asks for lists, and just goes so, so overboard. This will be my third Christmas with them. Last year I asked for a pretty reasonable (in my opinion) set of stuff – nice lipstick, some Bumble and Bumble products – maybe $150 worth of things (my husband thought doing a list was better than not, she’d be offended if I said nothing). She got my everything, PLUS hundreds of dollars of housewares and knickknacks I didn’t want/need. When she asks for a list this year, do you guys think it would be appropriate if I asked for some expensive stuff I actually want, seeing as she’ll spend the money anyway? I’m thinking this $200 pair of boots and a similarly priced purse. We have tried asking for money to charity and that doesn’t work.
Oh man, that sounds tricky and uncomfortable. It seems like your husband should be able to give you a good sense of how she’ll react, so if he thinks it’s a good idea, I say why not? If spending the money is what makes her feel good, and she’s going to spend it no matter what, you may as well ask for things you want. I’m assuming there’s no way to get receipts so you could return anything she would give you that you don’t want/need?
Amazon wish lists. Pick a wide range of stuff, and let her go at it. Normally I wouldn’t advocate, but it doesn’t sound like you’re taking advantage, and it may be that this is something that she feels she needs to do. I do know people that feel like love should be shown materially. Squicks me out, but that’s what they need. Another alternative would be a modest list, and ask for experiences with HER. Memories are our most valuable possessions and all that – tell her that having a family weekend at [fancy place] would be a memory that would last forever, and you would like more than stuff.
She’s not a very nice human, or else I’d totally do that. But yeah I think it’s good to remember that some people show love through material goods, and even though *I* think it’s weird, I’m not the boss of everyone.
If what you’re worrying about is whether it’s inappropriate to ask for something that seems exorbitantly expensive, even though you know she’ll spend that much anyway, would you feel better if you gave her alternatives? “I need a handbag – to give you some ideas about what, I like this [link to something that costs $35] or this [link to something that costs $800, or whatever her likely price range is].” It’s transparent, but it gives her an out if she decides she doesn’t want to spend the money this time for some reason, and you don’t look as presumptuous.
I like that! Thanks 🙂
I was about to say the same thing – you need a sweater, but whether it’s a wool blend or cashmere is up to her, y’know?
Does she talk about what she’s getting you with your husband? If so I would make a modest wish list and then make sure your husband knows a few additional things you’d like. My mom is an over-gifter and my sister and I do this so that we always have something to suggest when mom inevitably complains that she doesn’t know what to get the other sister (who has already given her a list of stuff).
No, they don’t talk much, unfortunately But that would be the best way of doing it, haha.
IMO the only approach with wealthy obnoxious relatives is to let them buy things for you and make sure they’re good. Yeah man, ask for $200 boots. Ask for $600 Fryes! Go for it!
I like your advice
Had surgery on Tuesday and spent the week in a glorious cocoon of painkillers hanging out with my parents who had come to take care of me. They left this morning and I’ve been intermittently teary, feeling super lonely–the meds and the exhaustion definitely have my emotions right on the surface. Hoping I can talk some local friends into coming to visit even though it won’t be the most festive time. Any good not-too-scary Halloween Netflix recommendations?
The Psych musical is a delight! It’s not Halloween-themed specifically, but it’s a murder mystery and has some spooooooky bits! It’s Season 7, ep 15.
The Nightmare Before Christmas is on Netflix now! Also I really like the Johnny Depp/Tim Burton version of Sleepy Hollow because it’s pretty to look at and not scary.
Any good not-too-scary Halloween Netflix recommendations?
In this week’s VideoReport, I rounded up a list of films taking place on Halloween, and I separated them out into family-friendly/less scary and adult/more scary. The kid-friendly ones might be a comfortable selection for this bumpy recovery period.
Don’t forget the temporary depression that comes with surgery to the torso. If that’s where your incision is, don’t take your tears too seriously and look for them to depart in 48 hours. It’s biology and not under your control. Sorry you feel bad, though.
Today I have taken the afternoon off of work (so I get to leave in like HALF AN HOUR omg) to run some errands, vote early, finish my Halloween costume, and…
GET MY HAIRS CUT.
So I have pretty short hair as it is, but today I am planning to go much much shorter, to something that is unequivocally A Masculine Haircut, and I feel kind of anxious about it. What if it’s terrible? What if I can’t learn how to style it into a pompadour like I want? (This is a real fear. I am not gifted at hairstyling, even with someone standing next to me saying “No, look, just do like this.”) What if when I tell the hairstylist what I want they somehow hear something totally different and cut it all wrong and it’s too short to fix and AAAAH HELP, YOU GUYS, I AM SPINNING MYSELF ALL UP IN A HAIRCUT TIZZY PLEASE SOMEONE REASSURE ME
Short hair hooray! Go for it!
I kept my hair short (like, an inch long or less) for five years, with only the very front long enough to style into a pomp (just barely). Getting the pomp takes a bit of practice, but you’ve got this, bb. Also, don’t tell the stylist what you want–TAKE PHOTOS WITH YOU.
Also, it’s just hair. It’ll grow back, and short hair doesn’t take too long to be not-so-short hair, believe me. Sometimes a quarter inch of growth is all you need to get it to style better, and that only takes a month. You’re gonna be fine!
Honestly, I scheduled this haircut on a Friday afternoon specifically so that I would have the entire weekend to stand in the bathroom like “Okay, so I do the gel like this and– no. Fuck. Okay, so maybe like this– closer, that’s closer.”
(Thank youuu you are very kind)
Oh! Don’t use gel. Use pomade. I liked American Crew brand. It had good holding power but would wash out, unlike some of the more hard core pomades like Murrays, etc.
You are super-smart in your scheduling! It’s going to be great, and then you’ll have the weekend to play with it.
I second (third?) the pomade suggestion. It only takes a tiny, tiny bit to give a lot of control.
i’ve had my hair really really short, and went to a straight up barber shop to get it done for a few years…so the haircut was undeniably masculine.
the good thing is that short haircuts grow out REAL FAST. when you’ve only got half an inch of hair on the sides, in a month, you suddenly have twice as much hair as you used to. practice makes perfect with styling and if you decide that you’re not into it, it’ll be a totally different haircut in just a few weeks.
do it! it will be fab!
How did it go??
I concur with everyone else! I wanted to tell you that sometimes my hairdresser cuts it *too short* on purpose? So that in a week or two it’s grown to the perfect length and I don’t have to go back too soon. I usually get freaked out. But it’s fine in a bit.
It’s Hallowmas in Fallen London!
Sit down alone to dinner
Set a place to your right and to your left. Set them for the dead whose names you do not speak. Eat your food unsalted. Leave the silver in the drawer. Swallow the wine with difficulty: it is laced with horehound and yarrow, imported from the Surface at some expense.
Gorgeous! I’m going as Waldo (as in, Where’s) and I’m going to spend my evening photobombing as many people as possible.
:edit: why hello there errant comment, you belong in CleverManka’s thread.
I’m going to spend my evening photobombing as many people as possible.
Oy, yeah. It’s kinda the ultimate irony: Discussion of how we need more women’s voices leads to promotion of a man’s voice! Annoying even it’s not the guy’s fault. I can admit that I perpetuate this sometimes because as a heterosexual misandrist I get real excited when I see guys not sucking.
I’m going to be an editor with bronchitis for Halloween. No, seriously, it’s so sad. I love all the pictures you guys are posting, though!
Ugh, I’m sorry to hear it, Nikki. Every winter or two, I get bronchitis and it really knocks a person down.
It’s miserable. I have this illness-induced asthmatic thing called reactive airway disease, so I am REALLY prone to bronchitis and coughs that linger for weeks but do not kill me. I’m basically a Gothic heroine.
It’s my birthday, so I’m going to fuck around at work and then leave early to take my nephews and niece trick-or-treating and then go to dinner and then get plastered. And then tomorrow I’m going to Leavenworth for an overnight trip! I’ve never been there, can’t wait to order from the German McDonald’s menu.
Happy birthday!
Happy brithday!
Happy birthday! That sounds like a great way to celebrate.
Happy spooky birthday!
On costumes: I am not wearing a costume today. BUT, I am going to a science-fiction-uniform-themed party in mid-November, and I am starting to consider dressing up, and I could use advice.
I’m toying with the idea of going as a Radch soldier, because Ancillary Justice was awesome, and because there’s enough description in the book to make a probably-recognizable costume but not enough that I’d have to worry too much about getting the details right. But I haven’t read Ancillary Sword yet, and I don’t know if I’ll have time to, so I might miss things that were elaborated on there. Also costumes from books don’t get recognized very much.
The other option I’m considering is a Jedi, because there are three milliion patterns online and it doesn’t have to be very fitted. But I’m not the biggest Star Wars fan, and our local Saber Guild folks might be there, so then there would be a lot of really good other Jedi costumes worn by people I don’t know, which seems like it might be awkward.
What should I do, Toasties?
If you choose to go the route of the former, might I suggest having a copy of the book with you? One of the things I have a tendency to do – especially when I do my Monster High costumes – is bring the doll I’m emulating with me, so even if people don’t know exactly what I am, I have a reference point so they can go “oh! That is what you are from, I understand now!”
That is such a good idea!
I only have it on Kindle. But it really is the sort of book that I could use a paper copy of for lending to people
OMG Ancillary Justice Radch soldier costume yussssssss. I’m sorry, that wasn’t a very constructive comment, but Ancillary Justice is just so cool.
Right?
I worry a little about the fact that the Radch mostly do not represent values I would want to promote, what with all the conquering and the summary executions and the absolute dictatorship. But, I mean, people dress up as Stormtroopers.
Haha, yeah. I had those feelings when reading the book as well, like “This society is a troublingly imperialist and borderline fascist and I WANT TO KNOOW MOOOOOOOORE.” I also just picked up Ancillary Sword – need to read it soon!
Any way to make yourself look vaguely androgynous / not-caring-about-gender-ous?
I wasn’t planning on worrying about that too much, besides making the jacket and pants fairly loose-fitting, which I would probably do anyways because making things fit closely looks hard. Probably little or no makeup, but that’s my usual look.
Be a Radch soldier and wear gloves and look disdainfully at anyone in a costume that doesn’t feature gloves! (I also thought Ancillary Justice was awesome)
Ooh, yes! The gloves! And try and do the “now I am expected to smile, let’s assemble one for the nice humans” face. (I loved that book too! Need to read the next one)
Gloves, definitely, but I think I will probably go as a human soldier, because I am lazy and it seems easier.
That’s cool, I think that I’ll steal it anyways and say that I am dressed as Breq for my halloween not-costume. I’ll get people’s genders wrong and try a creepy delayed smile thing. All my sister’s friends will think I am the weird sister. Maybe I’ll add in a “NONE OF YOU CAN SEE MY GUN” and wave around my empty hand. (…maybe I will be bonkers-Breq, because she certainly doesn’t do this.) OOOOH, and I can sing little bits of tunes under my breath! DEFINITELY the weird sister.
This sounds fun, I hope it went well.
I sent out three of my Toast postcards on Wednesday! Gotta find out postage for the two international ones.
Also, tragically, I moved unexpectedly soon after Toast Post sign-ups (not generally tragic, just for Toast Post purposes – we were looking to move to the East Bay and found a place much quicker than expected in this ungodly rental market) so I don’t know if I’ll ever get mine for this round. :'( Guess we’ll find out if the PO does mail forwarding for postcards.
If you’re in the US, international postcard postage is $1.15! Anywhere else….I cannot help, although I think it’s similar! I hope you get your toastcards at your new place (congratulations, by the way!!). Not everyone has sent out their postcards, if you email me at eberry227 at gmail I’ll see if I can get in touch with your matches and send them your new address!
Here is something I was thinking about. Discontinued products and how sad they make me. I have had some well-beloved items that just DISAPPEARED and my life has never been the same since.
Quizno’s used to have a sandwich that was a grilled cheese with lettuce and red wine vinaigrette and it was AWESOME. Now: nothing. Why???? Also: 3D Doritos. All the deliciousness but nothing to skewer my mouth open!
Please commiserate and tell me someone else remembers these things and enjoys reminiscing about long-forgotten products.
Veggie Quesadillas from Chilis. There is nothing else I will consume from that place, and all of the “secret” recipes I’ve found replicating just aren’t the same.
3D Doritos were the shiiiiiiit heck yes. When I was in Argentina a few years ago they had a similar product and I bought them any opportunity I got.
My sister would probably dropkick an infant to get her hands on an unopened Burt’s Bees lip stain in Merlot. Apparently it was a one-shot seasonal color, but it also happens to be her FAVORITE LIP COLOR EVER.
I really, really, REALLY miss Applebee’s Cheesy Bacon Tavern Chips. WHY DID YOU GET RID OF THEM, THEY WERE THE MOST DELICIOUS THING TO SPEND MY HALF APPS MONEY ON 🙁
You can check ebay for the Burt’s Bees. I got a couple of tubes of my favorite discontinued lip balm and it was surprisingly unsketchy!
Burt’s Bees also discontinued my favorite-ever clay facial mask. The good news: I stocked up on it before learning it was discontinued and it’s a just-add-water powder form that I have to use mixed half-and-half with plain white clay or it stings my skin, so my old jars have stretched over the years. But someday I will run out and be saaaaaaaaad.
Also, my favorite soap is no longer being made. It was hexagonal with a honeycomb pattern and a bee imprinted on it; I can never remember the name, but I’ve used it for decades. When I worked retail, I used to order myself an entire wooden crate of it at a time; the longer it sat dry on a shelf, the longer the bar lasted once it got wet. But when I visited my favorite shop to buy a half-dozen bars months ago, the owner informed me sadly that it’s been discontinued. I have been trying to find a replacement bar soap with no success.
I once was successful in recreating a discontinued lip color. Found one that was close, but too intense, so I applied a very pale nude color over it. Perfect. Would that help your sister?
Taco flavored Doritos. The taste of my childhood vacations to Conneaut Lake with my extended family 🙁
The tempeh rueben sandwich at a local restaurant.
Coty lipsticks.
The original formula of Rimmel eyeliner pencils.
When I worked at Togos they had all the best sandwiches, and now they just have like turkey and cheese shit that I can make at home. 🙁
I WANT A NUMBER 17
Sneakers. I would happily buy the same pair for the rest of my life, but no. Every time I need new ones it’s the same stressful process.
Ugh yes, I recently ran holes through my sneakers. Emailed the company to ask which model is closet to the ones I used to have, and when I looked at the link they sent were UGLY! So sad.
Late to this discussion, but I feel so strongly about this subject. Simple Shoes, who made the best sneakers, went bust with no warning a couple years ago. If only I had been able to stock up on replacement pairs! They were the most comfortable ever.
Also, side note: I wish I could travel back in time to the Target of 2008 and buy a stack of 100% cotton knit pajama bottoms. Now they only seem to carry a 60-40 poly blend version. (This seems to be an issue with discount store t-shirts as well.)
Au Bon Pain used to have a “mediterranean wrap” that was rly good and also one of the only vegetarian options there. And then I get back to college and it turns out they’ve discontinued it and replaced it with something unpalatable. FIENDS.
My mom and I also found excellent pierogies at Trader Joe’s once, and we never saw them again.
Seda France Napoleon Lemon candles. They are the perfect citrus scent and I can’t bring myself to ration the one I have cause it’s too delicious…
OMG Trader Joe’s is the worst for this. They used to have an amazing sun-dried tomato pesto that we ate on toast like twice a day. Also hot & sour soup in a jar that was actually really good. Both vanished forever, it is tragic.
They’ve been discontinued for months (if not years) now, but I still look for adzuki bean chips every time I’m at TJ’s. One day, they have to bring them back…one day.
I totally gave up Lush because everything I loved by them (certain soaps, shampoos, massage bars) always get discontinued and dumb gimmicky stuff replaced them. They used to have a Flight of the Conchords-inspired massage bar called Business Time that smelled like herbal and rose-y and cocoa-y and it was THE BEST, so I am hoarding my last bar of it.
I also totally cannot with Davids Tea discontinuing everything I love to make room for more disgusting artificial dessert stuff. Splash used to be the one tea that helped settle my stomach if I was nauseous but I guess they needed two more chocolate teas.
I swear Lush is purposely cruel.
Just the other day I was looking for an Essie nail polish called Shine of the Times and I think it’s been discontinued. It’s my favorite nail polish of all time, it’s a top coat that turns whatever color is underneath it into an amazing rainbow hologram. I have like half a bottle left but it’s getting all goopy and I’m going to have to scour eBay to replace it.
Discontinued nail polish colors are heartbreaking. Ugh.
I’m the same way with Dive Bar. 🙁
Shine of the Times is SO PRETTY. But if you can’t find it or if it’s prohibitively expensive, there’s a Color Club holo flakie whose name I cannot remember that is almost identical. Good luck!
I used to love Loreal’s Pulse hair color. It was a temporary dye that goes on as a mousse and would turn my blond hair vividly red or orange or magenta. Like Manic Panic but no mess, nicer color too.
I often find that you can get discontinued cosmetics on Amazon but I feel weird about that. Who is hoarding these hair care products? What is the sell-by date?
Yessssss! I remember this! My hair was so many colors the year or so Pulse existed.
Hi-C Ecto-Cooler! It would probably taste so gross to me now, but my inner 5-year-old self REALLY wants some.
YES. Also those squeeze drinks that came in a weird cylindrical twist-off top where you squeezed them? And there was another kind, too…in a different-shaped thing? Loved them.
Were they called Squeeze-Its or something? And they had faces on the bottles? My mom packed those in my lunch on Fridays and they were so awesome!
Planter’s Cheese Curls, the kind that came in a can (and possibly have random z’s in the name in place of s’s). Ugh, those things were addictive.
Orange-mango Fruit Bat popsicles! Orange and mango juice frozen in the shape of a bat. They were DELICIOUS and they went out of business at least fifteen years ago. I loved them as a kid.
Aldi in Australia appears to have discontinued their Coffee Cream chocolate blocks in the year I was overseas. This is the saddest. You can’t get much coffee flavoured things here and they were delicious.
I did the Hallowmas and apparently will be trying to conquer Life Eternal at the head of terrible armies, so that’s exciting.
In other news, I seem to be spending a lot of time either fighting pitched battles or playing croquet with large quantities of rats in my lodgings. Am having rotten luck searching for First City coins and generally manage only to piss off the card-playing monkey. However, I finally became Dangerous enough to gain access to the Ring of Meats!
(Theoretta Rizing, up for anything!)
edit: ach boo, this is for Bunburying’s Fallen London thread.
Oh my god, it took me FOREVER to get rid of those bloody rats. They are a menace!
(Cordelia de Havilland, at your service)
They seem to come in handy when trying to bribe the urchins, though? And who doesn’t enjoy the odd croquet match?
These are STILL THE BEST misplaced Intense Debate comments.
YUP
Bar absolutely none.
Woww, I’ve never had rats in my lodgings. I only managed to get the First City Coins because I mentioned this difficulty on an Open Thread and some lovely other Toasties had extra and sent me some. Don’t get the monkey too angry, it gets necessary and expensive to placate it later on.
This just happened to me, bless the generous hearts of my fellow Toasties! I suspected that anything called a Vengeful Simian would be nobody to trifle with.
Maybe we’ve got different monkeys? Mine is a Cardsharp Monkey, who is a character in the Heart’s Desire ambition. I call him Abdullah.
No, I think it’s the same monkey; maybe Vengeful Simian is the name of the quality that increases when you lose a First City coin challenge?
(So much glorious text in this game! So few brain cells remaining!)
Also, other things I did this week:
1) Ignored, and also got very angry about, several text messages and emails from my old boss, who wants me to meet with the new me and help her make connections in Turkey for an expansion they want to do. I am not averse to meeting with her, but I am averse to being badgered by this old man, who also asked me repeatedly when I left the position whether I was really just leaving for grad school or whether I actually hated it there. (I actually hated it there; I did not tell him this because I didn’t want to deal with it, and it wasn’t a “this is a terrible environment and you need to change” kind of hate but a “wow I am spectacularly wrong for this job” kind of hate.)
2) Agreed to help a total stranger who emailed an academic listserv looking for help getting a copy of a dissertation from the ’70’s which is at my institution and can’t be ILLed. This entails getting the dissertation and then scanning the entire thing (240 pp) to PDF to email it to her, probably 1-3 hours of work.
I’m pretty sure this is totally illogical behavior. BUT the dissertation in question is about the rusalka theme in Russian literature. I mean, COME ON.
Sounds logical to me…
Kindness is often fairly illogical. 🙂
You are a Really Good Person for helping with that dissertation.
Rabbit thread? Here are my haunted rabbits of doom with laser eyes.
Here are my buns. Sorry if these are big..
we have a winner for MOST RELAXEDEST BUNN
They’re super cute! I have three, tried to post pictures but I must have done something wrong, whoops.
omg they are the cutest!!! I particularly love the stretched out on belly, ears up attentively one!
Fuck. Sorry for the bunny spam.
Oh yeah, I’m real bummed out that I have to look at more pictures of cute bunnies :-p
I know I posted this up-thread, but I just wanted to reiterate that I am an assistant department head and that I am going into a meeting about a grant application in 10 minutes, dressed as a dinosaur wearing Vans.
Public Librarianship: if you survive the soul-sucking application process, it’s so good!
As a future librarian, it is good to hear that there is a light at the end of the application tunnel. Truly, just, really good to hear that.
post your BestWorst Halloween costume ideas!
I want to wreak havoc on the loathsome Sexy DudeJob costume genre with:
Sexy Raoul Duke: tiny shorts, Hawaiian shirt tied at midriff, fishing hat, yellow glasses, cigarette holder, flyswatter.
A blonde, lovely woman I work with went as Bob Ross last year. BOB ROSS. If I dared ask permission to share the photo, I would.
Anyone wanna talk about Wolf in White Van? That book, you guys. Holy fuck.
okay okay okay. Like, the rhythm of the prose? How you couldn’t put it down, it just marched you along and along and along? Yum.
The way you’re instantly in this world, this whole complete place that is Sean’s life?
The way it’s as if you’re tracing backwards from the ‘finish’ point of the maze to the ‘start here’ point, and there are constant dead ends and times you’re on a path that parallels a path you want to get to or a path you’ve already been on?
I have THOUGHTS.
But I also didn’t feel Sean as a 3D character, not in any of his iterations. I felt his correspondents more, and his dad. But Sean? Was his incompleteness deliberate and I should hush, or was that a flaw?
As obvious as it is that Sean is disturbed and has violent fantasies and can’t fully detach from his escapist fantasies, there’s still such a huge disconnect between that and his decision to kill himself (was it even a suicide attempt?). And the coolness with which he describes deliberating whether or not to shoot his parents instead of himself was so shocking. I felt almost physically ill when he describes how he stood outside their bedroom door holding the rifle and picturing what would happen if he went in.
I will always talk about Wolf in White Van and The Mountain Goats and John Darnielle, forever. I went to one of his signings a couple of weeks ago and he was a delight.
I have never heard of this before but I just googled and now I NEED TO READ IT.
Hey Bay Area Toasties! I want to live near you, but in order to do that, I have to work near you. Anybody with leads on photography, editing, web content, social media, or Netflix-watching jobs?
i work with internet people so i thought someone would get my costume but no one did http://instagram.com/p/u0vCExH3me/ (it’s pretty new york centric)
My best costume story was last year. Dress-up day at work, I planned to be Clark Kent. Usual work clothes + black rimmed glasses and a superman t-shirt under my regular button-down, unbuttoned part-way to show off the “S.”
The problem is I’m prone to confusion when it comes to remembering the date for things. So I dressed up a week early. Got to work, realized nobody else was in costume, and realized my mistake. Fortunately, I just ditched my glasses and kept my shirt buttoned to my chin all day. Nobody knew my secret identity (or my mistake).
Best accidental Clark Kent ever.
Happy Halloween for those who celebrate it, and Happy Friday for those for whom it is Friday!
Our daughter dressed up as Elsa for her school Halloween parade and was perfectly delighted despite the many other Elsas around. (She asked me a few days ago if I thought people would be able to tell that she was the REAL Elsa and I said, well, maybe not, but you and I will know.) There was music and costumed teachers dancing and walking around a playground waving and it was all good. Now I am taking a quick breather before I go do the same thing for the baby’s preschool, except… it is supposed to rain and he has no idea what is going on and doesn’t really like his sock monkey costume (although he is adorable in it — but it’s too big because my daughter wore it at 2 and she was tall for her age and he is tiny for his) and so if I don’t show up to supervise this I don’t think he’ll notice or care.
Then AFTER school we pick them both up and take them downtown for trick-or-treating on the main street of our small town (which was swallowed by a ginormous city ages ago, but there is still the old downtown and it does trick-or-treating) and then we bring them home and attempt to get them into bed. And then adult friends come over and we play games and if tradition holds Cassandra will make us listen to every version of Tam Lin that we own (which is like 47) except maybe this year she won’t.
I hope you all have wonderful plans for tonight. Toasties with kids, what are they wearing?
I am not a parent but my adoptive nieces are going as Tinkerbell the Pirate Fairy and Jack Skellington, respectively!
I’ve got a three-foot-high, very adamant robot on my hands. I quote – “beep boop, trick or treat.”
My 5-year-old is Doc McStuffins this year. She was walking around in-costume and waving her arms in the air this morning, and when I asked her what she was doing, she said “Using my imagination to bring animals back to life.” Like, obviously, dad.
The 11-year-old hasn’t decided if he’s dressing up or not (he’s at that age, I guess), which has the wife and I a little bummed out.
(Great answer to your daughter’s REAL Elsa question, by the way :))
I have a ferocious tiger and a LOLcat. In 11 years neither of my kids has ever dressed up as anything human.
We’re all sugared up in the library and I am wearing my poodle skirt so all is good. (and ESL student looked at me and said “You are the Happy Days!” I am the embodiment of Happy Days. I’ll take it).
Fun family fact: My grandparents (both now deceased) were married Oct 31, 1945 in a judge’s office in Pittsburgh because that was the only day my grandpa could get leave from the air force.
This weekend: hair cut! Museum! (Impressionists exhibit–hoping for lots of big hair & hats & listening-to-men-faces) Cemetery! (it’s over by the hair place. might as well visit the fam)
My grandparents had to do the same, but it was April Fools! The beau gave me the side-eye when I mentioned that I always wanted that for a wedding date, if ever the deed was done…
Happy Halloween, Toastfolk! I will be dressed as a grumpy barworker who isn’t paid to be your friend and thinks that your drunken dancing is the worst. *grumble*
Toasties, I’ve been on two OK Cupid dates with a guy and have to let him know that I don’t really want to see him again. This is probably a skill I should have learned earlier but…how do you do that?
you can do what I do and just never contact them again! a super-mature way of handling things? probs not! requires no effort on your part? yep!
This was also my method. Others may disagree, but I think after 2 casual dates it’s totally ok to just disappear into the ether.
yep! I mean, after you’ve reached a certain point – like, maybe 3-7 dates (depending on how serious they were) – you should probably say something. but only 2? you’re good! disappear into the sunset!
Yeah, that’s my instinct, but I do feel a little bad. I liked him and liked hanging out with him, there just wasn’t a spark.
I totally feel you – just had the same thing happen with a guy recently. ugh, dating, amirite?
Texting is the easy out: “No thanks, but I hope you find what you’re looking for. Good luck!”
Oh, this will definitely be by text. I’m way too chicken to do it in person, and after only two dates it doesn’t seem justified.
After only 2 dates, you don’t have to say anything, unless you want to. It’s OK to just stop responding to him.
I dated throughout my 20s. Lots of people. It never got easier to say, “I can’t see you any more. Thanks for giving me your time. I wish you well. Goodbye.”
I don’t think it ever gets easier.
Thanks for the reassurance! (Does that sound sarcastic? I promise it isn’t.)
I think ghosting after 1 date is A-OK, after 2 dates probably fine. After 3, probably not.
I’m sure you’re right, I just feel a little bit bad doing that? That might be my compulsive need to be liked talking, though.
I might not do it either. I don’t know if I’ve ever been on only 2 dates with someone — either I’m totally sure after #1 that I don’t want to see him again, or we go on like 10 dates.
Yeah, like I said somewhere in this thread I did like him and liked hanging out with him. But the second date really solidified for me that I did not want to do Romantic Things with him. Hence not really wanting to ghost.
When I was online dating I much preferred that when a dude didn’t want another date (regardless of how many we had been on) he actually tell me that. An “I’m not interested, good luck” text takes almost zero time or effort.
I think that’s what I’m going to do. My (scaredy-cat) instinct is to ghost, but I want to be respectful of what seemed like a genuinely good guy.
I am extremely anti-ghosting, even after one date. A nice “I think you’re great but I didn’t feel a spark” text is so much better ,and every time I’ve done it the guy has thanked me for being direct and not ghosting (obviously if you have any reason to think he won’t take it well or will harass you, this doesn’t apply).
No, you’re right. And he seemed to be a good dude, so I don’t want to be rude or disrespectful at all. A quick, polite text is probably the answer.
Yeahh! It’s soooo awkward to type the words out, but you’ll feel so grownup once you do!
Yeah, I’ve done this and it’s easy!
Yes yes, just write a super quick text and be done with it. It’s easy (although other people don’t feel the same, it seems). But look, why is it difficult? Because you are afraid of hurting feelings? Ghosting is more hurtful. If you’re afraid of some vitriol or whatever then you can ghost, but not because you’re afraid of hurting feelings. So, if what you’re afraid of is hurting feelings, then you, as a grown up, should send the text.
Here’s a suggested text: “Hey, I enjoyed meeting you, but I don’t think there’s a spark. Good luck out there!”
Uh, has anyone else fallen down a rabbit hole of old Jezebel Scary Story posts after the Link Roundup this morning? I… I seem to have lost several hours, somehow.
still reading my way through
I have been reading them and it’s a terrible idea because I am a GIANT WIMP. It quite literally kept me up last night. And I had read a bunch last Friday and then went and spent the night in an old farmhouse, it was NOT WISE.
My plan is to read so many that all the details blur together and I stop being scared before dark.
I would love/hate a chance to replicate your experience exactly. By which I mean I would jump at the chance, then curse myself over and over for being so silly.
Did you read the one about a demon lady on a country road? ‘Cause we had to get up before sunrise that morning and walk down the road to my brother’s car and I was like GUYS DO NOT TALK TO ANY HOODED WOMEN THEY WILL CURSE YOU AHHHH HURRY.
YES. I can’t stop and I’m not going to sleep at all this weekend.
Oh man, there’s a whole other set up, too. “Look at Me” is TERRIFYING.
SERIOUSLY
the non-supernatural ones (“chirp” and “look at me”) are giving me major major major heebie jeebies.
Definitely.
That one really stuck out. WOW.
I am a raccoon today. How do you know? Well, just look at my shirt!
I am really excited to pass out Halloween candy tonight to the few Trick-or-Treaters that will swing through my block. I almost wish I had some sort of rocket–firework, toy rocket launcher, maybe a drawing–so I can tell them I’m Rocket Raccoon.
Raccoons can’t be expected to take great selfies; while we are pretty good with our paws, we’re not that good.Yet.
It’s Halloween and I’m running my very own private Val Lewton-a-thon at home, he of “Cat People,” “Curse of the Cat People,” and “I Walked With a Zombie.”
“Curse of the Cat People” concerns a lonely little girl named Amy who conjures an imaginary friend. Problem is, that imaginary friend looks like her father’s dead first wife Irena, who in life spent part of her time as a murderous she-cat. (One may ask: Is there really a problem here?)
This movie, which isn’t really scary at all, reduced me to tears a few times, because “The Curse” of the film’s title can easily refer to the inner life of sensitive, overly imaginative oddballs. The final moment is a killer Dad scene, about which I will say nothing else other than that I think Val Lewton might be a Dad to many Toasties.
And for film nerds who can momentarily shelve any objections to Christopher Nolan, I have on good authority that “Interstellar” will be showing in many international locations in GLORIOUS 70MM FILM. Yep, it’s one of the prime events of the McConnaissance, screening the way “Lawrence of Arabia” did when it first opened. “Interstellar” opens next weekend. I will never say anything bad about Nolan again – sometimes that kind of clout can lead to very good things.
70mm Interstellar info here: http://www.in70mm.com/news/2014/interstellar/inde…
Double fist bump for Val Lewton as well as 70mm, though I am apparently nowhere near a screening, booo!
There were rumblings about a Chicago Meet Up this Saturday. Is that still a go?
Hi, I’m sneaking on during class specifically to crash this thread because I’m thrilled by the idea of meeting other Chicago Toasties (yes, even in the snow. Especially in the snow. I love the snow!)
I am sad that I’m not going to be there because I’m in Miami (but also not sad because it’s 88 degrees here). Have fun! And plan more meet ups so I can go to the next one!
I can drop by! Rogers Park Social, wasn’t it?
Aria_maria down thread informed me that it’s there at 6p. Whoop!
ROGERS PARK SOCIAL, 6:00 pm-ish to 10:00 pm-ish, Saturday, November 1.
Right near the Morse stop on the Red Line.
Thanks!
I’m wearing orange tights with black clothes out of solidarity with a coworker who insisted on dressing up, and my coworkers keep calling me a witch. These are mostly my normal clothes!
On the plus side, I told two male coworkers about a bad incident of street harassment/actual assault that happened to me this week by work. I hadn’t planned to tell them because I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate and was kind of ashamed (I know, I know), but the subject came up. And they responded appropriately! Working around good guys makes reading the ridiculous comments about street harassment online (or Michael Che, I hardly knew ye) easier to take.
Happy friday and happy halloween toasties!
I’m heading to Seattle with a few friends next weekend, does anyone have suggestions of what we should see/do/eat/drink? Suggestions for small towns in Washington near Seattle to visit are also welcome 🙂
Have you been to Seattle before? What kind of food do you like (you can find mostly anything here)?
I have passed through and been to the pike place market, but that’s about it. we are just planning to hang out and have a relaxed weekend — what are some good areas to check out?
good with anything foodwise!
Disclaimer: I hate Seattle. However, I know that I’m the only one — everyone else who lives here thinks it is the best thing ever, and people who only visit always love it. So.
If you are in the downtown/Belltown area, have coffee at Bedlam (actually sit there and have your coffee and hang out, it’s a very cozy place, and also they have cinnamon toast that is stellar, and a large selection of board games). If you like dumplings, Ping’s in the International District is both cheap and wonderful (and they do have a few very good vegetarian options). Do _not_ pay money to go up the Space Needle (I mean, unless that’s something you really really want to do for some reason) — if you want to go up a high building to see a good view, go up the Smith Tower or to the public viewing floor of the Columbia Center instead (you do have to pay for both, but they are a lot cheaper and better than the Space Needle). If the weather is anything you feel like being out in, take the water taxi across to West Seattle/Alki, and have drinks and food at the Ma Kai location of the Marination Station. If you are from a place that is even less of a real city than Seattle is, and you want to go to a museum, the Frye is really the only art one worth visiting here (and it’s free, which is a plus). If you’re up early-ish and near Capitol Hill, Crumble & Flake is a really excellent little French bakery.
You’re not alone! Seattle is terrible except in July and August (and sometimes parts of October are okay). Except in July and August the whole damn city is basically running around in some sort of mania trying to spend as much time as possible doing things when it’s not raining, so those months are also annoying. And then everyone comes to visit in those months and is all “your weather is amazing.” Yeah, suuuuure.
I miss having neighborhoody grocery stores and never having to even wonder where to get coffee since the answer was always “right over there,” but it’s nice not having to carefully maintain my mental state through 9 months of rain.
Oh, no, that isn’t my problem with it here. The rain/grey is one of the only things I don’t mind about it (I hate summer and warm weather and too much sun). If it were possible, I would live in a constant cycle of autumn-winter-autumn-winter all the time, forever.
oh my gosh, seconding the cinnamon toast at Bedlam. AND THE CRUMBLE AND FLAKE. I had this incredible blackberry cream puff the other day…we have very similar tastes in this town!
For dinner also in Belltown, I love love love Bambino’s. they have these incredible and huge calzones (the Giacomo is my favorite, hands down) and the greatest weekly tap menus I have ever seen, as well as one of the most extensive bottle lists. They’re also shockingly inexpensive for a craft beer place. and it’s nice but not fancy, not noisy but not empty. If you’re into silly fun old-fashioned things, I would recommend going speakeasy-hopping. Needle & Thread, Knee High Stocking Company, and Bathtub Gin are amazing secret spots with incredible cocktails. At N&T they make up a drink for you. Google them ahead of time- the first two have sneaky reservation systems. Semi-related, the Seattle burlesque scene is the best in the world, if you’re interested in that. The Pink Door and many other venues have regular shows with new performers all the time. The Midnight Show at the Can-Can is amazingggg. The Fremont Antique Market is the most fantastic vintage shopping place ever. Crazy old clothes and kitchenware and everything under the sun, in a sort of underground building. DESSERT: Hotcakes in Ballard. Get a grilled chocolate ganache sandwich. and a butterbeer.
Best coffee is Vivace.
Nearby, Snoqualmie Falls is a lovely place to visit- the lodge has a seriously good restaurant and bar and the falls are just stunning. It’s about 30+ minutes out of the city. Treehouse Point, in neighboring Issaquah, is also SO COOL and they do tours even if they’re booked up for reservations to stay in them. the Olympic Sculpture Park is really gorgeous and has some incredible views as well as cool art, if it’s a nice day. It’s just north of the touristy waterfront area. the Frye also does some awesome events in the evenings!
Yeah, don’t go in the Space Needle unless you’re going to the restaurant. It’s a ripoff otherwise. (the kids leave notes on the windowsill and as the restaurant rotates they write on them and leave them for the next person, it’s very cute. and there are chocolate chip pancakes with ice cream.) Have fun!
And where are you coming from?
Vancouver (Canada)!
So I posted about this a little bit earlier in the week and also on twitter bit now I’m also saying it here and I will try not to make the story too long!
Anyway so two months ago after a [very long] dry spell I met a dude I liked on okcupid and we started going out. I liked him and it was really nice to be with someone for a change and we hadn’t really gotten to much feelings-y talk but the sex was great and he was extremely affectionate so I thought it was going great. Anyway after 2 months, last weekend I finally introduced him to a bunch of my friends, and then we went back to his place after the party where he dumped me! He said he met someone else he was also interested in and didn’t feel right seeing us both at the same time so he didn’t know what to do. I DIDN’T CRY (I am a big crier usually) and went home, and the next day I sent him an email saying basically “Look, I like you and we’re having fun, and I’d be happy to continue having fun but I’m not going to be your friend, so figure out what you want and you only have two choices, date me or nothing, let me know what you pick.” And then a couple days later he finally responded saying he didn’t want to get into a relationship and wanted to play the field, and he’d like to stay friends but he understands if I don’t, and PS do you want to come to my birthday party next week.
You guys, I was super bummed for like two days, but you know what? I’m over it. He’s a dummy. And I’m really proud of how I stuck up for myself. I know that if this had happened to me even a year ago, I wouldn’t have handled it nearly so well, and I probably would have cried a lot and maybe begged him to keep dating me and agreed to be bullshit “just friends” and felt terrible about myself. I really credit the Toast community for a lot of that, to be honest. You are all so wonderfully supportive and underneath all the misandry I’ve just been learning to stop paying attention to men so much and listen to myself and my friends and stop wasting my time on jerks. So goodbye, jerk! Thanks, Toasties!
also if anybody wants to crash a birthday party next week let me know
I’m also not sure if I will text him on said birthday, if only to show that I am a mature and confident woman who is no longer hurt but who has already risen like a phoenix from the ashes of his asshattery and is better for it, or if I should just ignore him entirely forever. (This is a small city and it’s likely we’ll run into each other occasionally, and I’m not sure which sets me up better for the eventual meeting in which I can be cordial yet dismissive. Whatever the “congratulations, how wonderful” equivalent is for this context.)
I wouldn’t bother, unless you actually really want to. Better, I think, to just leave him entirely in your past and move on to bigger and better things/dudes. If you do run into him, you can just be cordial but not necessarily friendly, the way you would be to any super-casual acquaintance. (And I have to say, I have had almost no ex-boyfriend encounters, aside from seeing a couple of them on OKC once in a while which is a weird thing but not as annoying as running into them in person. So you may never run into him!)
Also, I’m sorry this guy turned out to be a jerk – but I am happy for you that you’ve handled it well and are feeling pretty good and like you’ve made progress! That is excellent.
We actually share a relatively niche hobby and he’s pretty well-known within that hobby so if I go to any related event he’s likely to be there. I don’t know! I still have a little bit to decide. Maybe by next week I’ll have forgotten about him entirely already.
You seem to have handled this like a pro! That said, being mean to other people’s exes is so much fun and I didn’t get to do it for my bestie’s last douchy boyfriend, so I am literally always here for that.
You rock, good work! He is a dummy and you are cool and good for sticking up for yourself!
Liking this because you did a great job standing up to this douchebag. Onward and upward!
Wow oh wow what a total jerk. Goodbye to him! Good for you!
I think it’s really great of you (and unusual, at least in my experience) to know what you want and need and be able to articulate it so clearly. It stinks to lose something you thought was going so well, but you did exactly the right thing for yourself and that is A TRIUMPH.
uggggh that dude is such a dope and I wish I could party-crash!
you totally can, just stick around after brunch for a few days 😛
You did AWESOMELY, just like your namesake. 🙂 I send a long-distance high-five.
Oh dear. Our resident site stray cat has had a new litter. Anyone want a kitten? We haven’t been able to trap her to get her fixed. :-/
Does anyone ever take to the sea over Christmas? I dislike holidays (including my own birthday) (which yes, is a holiday, fuck you) and I am thinking I need to head out to Joshua Tree with my doggy and a hundred books and leave my phone off for a few days.
I would totally do this but for my mom, who’s in a nursing home in another state. Sedona, Joshua Tree, or another non-Christmasy locale would be the ticket, I think.
Sweet (baby) Jesus, this is my fantasy.
Decades ago a woman I know told me about her visit to the Grand Canyon. Unlike most tourists, she went all the way to the north rim. She reported a much more rugged experience than most tourists would enjoy. The best part, she said, is that the lodge has no televisions. Why watch TV when you have the canyon to look at?
So I fantasize about going to the north rim at Christmas to escape the retail world.
Everywhere was obviously sold out of pumpkins, so ended up getting some turnips and carving them after all! Turnip soup tomorrow, turnip is not a very nice smell. Also slowly coming to terms with the fact that nobody is going to come trick or treating down my road because it is a dead end and I bought loads of sweets, what a shame.
Turnips are more traditional than pumpkins anyway – the first Jack o’Lanterns were made from turnips (Supposedly. The internet is in some disagreement as to whether or not this was actually a common practice.) because something something Ireland and they didn’t have winter squash? Anyway – cute!
This is true! They’re also a lot cheaper and more difficult to scoop the middle out of than a squash. I nearly got a big green pumpkin-looking squash instead but it was EIGHT TIMES the price. The hairy bits on them look extra creepy too.
But your turnips are so cute!
Those are amazing. Wow. Wow!
Whoa, great pictures! We’re doing some pumpkin carving at work and I may use these faces for my other two pumpkins. I already have a jaunty jack-o-lantern.
I would LOVE to take to the sea over Christmas but instead I am going to my inlaws. They are usually lovely but sometimes you just want to take to the sea, you know?? You do you!
Wholehearted product recommendation for Toasties who like bright, “unnatural hair” colours but don’t like expensive dye jobs and having to wash their hair in cold water: OVERTONE ALL THE WAY.
I used to get my hair dyed deep red, and it had faded significantly and I had visible roots, but I couldn’t stand the thought of paying lots of money to spend 2 hours making small talk with a near-stranger at the salon. I ordered the Extreme Red weekly treatment and tried it out last Friday. My hair looks, feels and smells AMAZING. I’m going to order the rest of the line when I run out of my current conditioner.
Happy to post before/after selfies if anyone wants to see the effect!
(I am not affiliated with Overtone in any way!)
Well that just looks amazing, thank you for posting it.
Before we had kids we often did lots of exciting hair colours but it is just too much work now. Overtone might be the answer!
In the interest of full disclosure, I did leave it in longer than they recommend. I had it in for at least half an hour and popped a shower cap over it and blasted hot air on it with hair dryer. It still looks good a week later so I think I’ll only use the weekly treatment once a month or so.
Sent from my iPhone
THIS IS SO RAD.
I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS I AM RUNNING IN CIRCLES.
Srsly, given how quickly my grey roots come in, I need this stuff in my life.
So wait, is it dye? Or conditioner?
Tell me your most favorite scary things to read on the internet, toasties!!
I am going to heartily recommend the interactive Dionaea House story: http://www.dionaea-house.com/
Emily Carroll’s His Face All Red and The Hole the Fox Did Make http://emcarroll.com/comics/faceallred/01.html http://www.emcarroll.com/comics/fox/
And (in honor of my Snow White outfit) Neil Gaiman’s creepy version: Snow, Glass, Apples. http://thedreaming.joefulgham.com/1999/10/10/snow…
My Halloween costume, y’all! I’m Roseanne! A proto-misandrist!
My sister is leaving Afghanistan tomorrowwwwww!!! I tried to stop going to therapy but my therapist basically said (you know, “led me to”) “lolol no” which if I want to be honest with myself is the right thing to do. So yay for mental health! I found wetsuits online for like, $100??? They’ve been previously rented, there’s two in mine and my swimming friend’s size, and maybe by this time next year I will have done a triathlon or an open water race? And I am going to brunch with SF toasties tomorrow!
Things are busy and stressful but I have high hopes for November and December. Things have been down for a long time, I really need an upwards trajectory going into 2015. WHICH will be marked by my AMAZING calendar: https://riflepaperco.com/shop/calendars/2015-mona…
HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL!
There is currently a slow-moving lava flow creeping its way through a neighborhood about 30 miles away from me, and foolish people have been running up to the leading edge of it to get souvenirs. And now they are getting arrested for trespassing! C’mon folks: ACTIVE LAVA FLOWS. JUST DON’T RUN RIGHT UP TO THEM.
Super excited to take my kids out trick or treating tonight, hope you all get lots of candy babies or whatever
I would actually really love to run up to a lava flow, but mostly because I’m a geologist and I’ve been following the eruption over here. Oh man. I hope you are not in any immediate risk! 30 miles sounds pretty substantial, but you never know.
I’ve been hearing about that! Some resident was quoted saying “I won’t evacuate until the lava is -right here- (points to stoop)” WHEN THE LAVA IS THERE YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO EVACUATE!!! Perhaps emergency workers are telling you to evacuate now for a reason!!!!
When my family stayed in Hawaii I saw a kitchen spoon that had been dipped in lava and I desperately wanted one. Thank god there were no lava flows when I was around, or else I probably wouldn’t be typing this.
I understand the urge, it IS a pretty cool souvenir, but then I hear the newscasters talk about methane gas explosions again and I think “nah I’m cool without a lava dipped hand mixer”
Ahhh oh my god 800 comments but maybe someone will see this?
Toasties, am I correct in recalling that there’s a DC Toast group? My parents live in the area as of this year, I am pretty likely to move there after my PhD, and I would love to have people to meet/places to go to get out of the house when I’m visiting home on breaks!
(Also, long shot but any Swiss Toasties? That sounds like a snack.)
There is! It’s a Google group – email me at [email protected] and I will send you an invite.
I guess I could be considered a Swiss-by-association Toastie? I’m not actually Swiss but my parents live near Zurich and will be there for at least 3 more years (or more, depending on whether my dad will choose to retire at 65 or stay on, because he loves his job). I’ll be there for 10 days for Christmas and about a week during the summer.
Cool! I am PhD-ing in Basel. I won’t be here at Christmas (going to DC) (about to email you, JocastaStarr, thank you!) but holler in the Open Thread if you’re around another time!
COOL! I am in Basel too! So happy to know there are other toasties over here. (So much cheese, not enough toast, hehe.)
Okay, wait, I guess I misread part of the thread above – thought there was a full-fledged toast group here.
Anyhow, Lucy, I am at the Uni too! (American temporary transplant to this weird and beautiful country.) Wanna get a coffee sometime? you can send me an email at kate (dot) harlan (at) gmail (dot com).
There’s a comment on the first page about a DC toastie meetup from ArsenioB_Ham!
Has everyone here heard of the Ada Initiative? From their home page:
The Ada Initiative supports women in open technology and culture. Stuff we do:
* Anti-harassment policies used by hundreds of conferences
* Ally skills for men so women don’t have to fight sexism alone
* Feminist conferences for women to share lessons learned and support each other
* Training women to fight Impostor Syndrome and stay involved in open tech/culture
Sounds like a worthy cause. Donation link here: http://adainitiative.org/donate/
Tomorrow I’m going out with the girl I like. We’re going to the Mutter Museum and a supposedly-haunted old prison, with a break in between for lunch.
We’ve been out a few times and I feel a definite spark, but I can’t tell if she feels the same way or if this is a just-friends thing to her?
I want to tell her tomorrow how I feel but I am so, so nervous. I haven’t confessed a crush since I was in high school – 7 years ago! (I’ve been in relationships since then, but they were always hookups-turned-relationships, or the other person confessed first.)
That old prison is in my neighborhood! (hello, fellow Philly Toastie!) I hope you have fun; I also adore the Mutter–say hello to the Wall of Skulls for me!
Good luck confessing; take deep breaths, and accept that while it may be awkward/nervousmaking, you are being honest and clear, which is always a good thing. I hope she feels the same way you do (I almost wrote non-friendly, but that’s a bit different), but if she does not, that you’re still able to have a lovely, fun weekend out, and a good friendship.
Thank you! And hello! Have there ever been Philly Toastie meetups? I just got hooked on this site a few weeks ago (it’s the only place on the internet where I’m excited to read the comments and not afraid) and it just seems like an excellent community of people.
You know, I’m not sure–I know there are more Philly-based Toasties, but I’ve never heard anything about meetups (in fairness, I’ve been an active commenter here for only a few months).
Oh the Mutter is perfect for Hallowe’en. One of the best Philadelphia dates I ever had was Hallowe’en at the Mercer Museum. North of Philly. I’m sure you know where it is.
Best wishes for when you ‘fess up to your feelings. You can do this. She’ll reciprocate or she’s unworthy of you.
Last night I bought a car and I negotiated exactly the deal that I wanted and I shot down the business man 5 times when he tried to convince me I needed the extra warranty, and after I signed the contract I cackled and screamed “I’M THE MASTER OF ALL MEN.” and flew away on my broomstick (disguised as a Prius C).
A++++++++++, would take PaigePoo’s negotiating advice again
It was especially vindicating because the financial services guy said that I reminded him of his daughter, so he wanted to get me a good deal. And then I said (figuratively, not literally), no your deal isn’t good enough for me. THIS IS THE DEAL AND YOU’LL ACCEPT IT. I’M NOT YOUR DAUGHTER.
I also have a Prius C! *fist-bump of tiny hatchback hybrid solidarity*
Awesome! (One of the overtone creators is my good friend’s sister.) I really wish dyeing my hair was feasible for me, but my natural color is only about a shade off true black, and I need to bleach the shit out of it to get any dye to show up at all, and then I hate how it feels and I lose my curls.
My hair is too dark and too fine to safely dye. But middle-age has proved advantageous. I have enough gray hair now to make henna worthwhile. Bright red highlights where the gray used to be. Now you have something to look forward to!
hey RoseCamelia I’m back for today’s Open thread, checking in! Just posted a main comment. Hope you’re well and thanks for being supportive last week. Happy Halloween!
Also, ginger Altoids. I loved them with a fierceness that scared me. So, so, so good.
I’m not dressing up for Halloween, but tonight I’m going to this (reportedly haunted) museum for a night of scary stories. And then probably I will go home and mull some cider.
In other news, I’ve been working on a writing deadline all week, one of those things where every time you think it’s done you see three more things you need to fix, but last night I decided it was good enough and sent it off. I would be dancing a victory dance if I didn’t feel like maybe I’ve got a cold coming on.
Me too! I did it on the phone. Also unless your last two dates included you talking about how ready you are to find a relationship and get married and have kids ASAP, I feel like it’s always nice to be like, “Listen I had a great time with you, you are a really great guy, but I just realized I’m not really in the right place to be with you.” That’s even nicer I think then telling someone there’s no spark.
Wait for him to invite you to something and then politely decline “Thank you, but I don’t think that we’re a good fit. Take care.” I try to not preemptively reject someone who hasn’t actually asked me out again (cause that happened to me once and I thought it was really presumptuous).
Can I get some support in thinking that ACADEMIA SUCKS?
I am officially withdrawing from my humanities PhD program next week and it feels really, really good. I have nothing but respect for my colleagues who are sticking it out, but I’ve had lifelong problems with anxiety and depression and the high-pressure, isolating work of academia just pushed me too far. Getting so low last month also made me decide a few things, such as that I am EXHAUSTED with trying to impress people and don’t want to do it anymore. I’m also exhausted with making major life decisions based on what I think I *should* do.
So anyway, I think my next step is to just work part-time or something through the winter and then figure out if/where I’m going to go back to work full time. One thing that I’m certain of: I don’t want to have any job that goes past 5:00. In order to function properly I need time for things that actually make me happy, such as reading novels and making music with friends. And graduate school pretty much squashed all that for the last several years.
Also, I am going to get a half-sleeve tattoo and it’s going to be awesome! I’ve wanted one for a long time but I’ve always been worried what people (family mainly) would think. NO MORE! The only bummer is that I have to wait a month for the appointment.
yay for making decisions that make You happy and not to please others or your family. Well done, it’s really brave. But also should be seen as a normal thing to do – the pursuit of things that make you happy. I’m in the process myself but not quite there yet.
Seconding AlisonDB’s assessment that your decision is really brave. Go you!
May I ask where in the process of PhDing you are?
Lots and lots of toastie support from over here!!
I am finishing up my coursework and preparing for preliminary exams. Or at least I would be if I weren’t leaving. When I decided to drop out, my initial plan was to try to make it all the way to ABD and then stop. But even that sounds like way, way more emotional effort than I have to give anymore. So I’m just stopping now.
I’m also very, very lucky to have a super supportive spouse to help through all of this.
Sounds like you are doing the right thing for you. Congratulations on making a very hard decision. 🙂
Can’t wait to see the tattoo!
If one more person tells me “Well why don’t you get a new job?” I’m going to set them on fucking fire. What the FUCK is wrong with you? What the hell do you think I’ve been doing, if not LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB? Do you think I hadn’t THOUGHT of that, you dumb shit?
I feel the same way about people who cheerily tell me I can do “lots of different things with my degree”. LIKE WHAT?????
c’mon, aravis, put on your job helmet and get into the job cannon and fire off into jobland, it’s pretty simple
AMEN. Want some matches? For me, it’s the same galling sentence, minus “new” because I’m unemployed. It’s like, OK THEN, THERE ARE “LOTS” OF JOBS NOT IN MY FIELD IN ALBERTA, WHERE I’M NOT. GREAT. I’LL JUST GET ONE OF THOSE SOMEHOW. EASY-PEASY!
(Sorry for all-caps. They are the precursor to fire.)
For the first time ever in our dozen plus years, husband and I are not visiting family for the holidays. They all live within 300 miles of each other and the whole week turns into “your aunt and uncle are just 75 minutes away,” “Come see your cousin’s new house”, etc. even though we’ve flown 3000 miles and are spending our only free time between semesters visiting people who contact us little if at all during the year. Each demand is small in itself but the quantity of them is draining as is the diplomacy involved in declining any of them. So no to all this year.
A couple is a legitimate family unit.
A singe person is a legitimate family unit.
We can choose to but we’re not bound to appear as contract players in our extended families’ dramas.
It’s going to feel so liberating to order holiday cards and not plane tickets this year.
Parent-less holidaying is THE BEST. I ceased holiday visits to my family ten years ago. NO REGRETS. Not a one.
Go you guys! We have an annual Christmas dinner for people who Cannot Even with their families – or who Can, But Choose Not – and it is wonderful. All the fun of eating and drinking too much with folks you dig without anyone trying to run a number (however well-intentioned) on your head!
I saw a Toastie post about Skate America in last week’s thread and was so sad I was a few days too late to reply. I had so many feelings! Jeremy Abbott looked so good except for forgetting to jump in his long program. And I love the tiny Russian ladies excessively.
(I just tuned in to Skate Canada and WHAT HOW IS STEVIE CARRIERE 18 POINTS AHEAD OF MY PRECIOUS BB ADAM RIPPON)
I think that would be really helpful. I just hate how much space this crush is taking up in my brain, and it obviously shows me that I am looking for comfort a lot, so I guess I need alternate sources of comfort? And I don’t know exactly where to get them. But I think journaling may help siphon off some of my feels.
ETA: reply to Ethyl..oops
Hello toasties! I´m finally delurking to tell you that I´m going to a Welcome to Night Vale live show this weekend and I am so excited! Also I am a bit nervous to comment because you all sound so witty and wonderful. So if you never hear from me again, I am probably lurking again, admiring you from afar. (Well, that sounds a bit creepy, but it´s Halloween, so I´ll stick with it.)
That’s a great show, you’ll have a lot of fun–and it’s a different experience from listening to the podcast or any of the released live shows, too!
You were right, it was amazing! Before the show I thought that it wouldn´t matter if I got a good seat or not because Cecils voice creates such a rich and nuanced atmosphere that seeing (or not seeing) him couldn´t possibly make a big difference. Boy, was I wrong! I had not expected that a voice actor would have such an impressive stage presence. (By the way, I love your reread. It´s one of the reasons I read my favourite parts of `Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell´ again a few week ago.)
I’m so glad to hear that you had a great time–I had a blast when I went to that show, and it’s great that it’s still firing on all cylinders! (I mean, he’s a pro, but they’ve been touring that for a while now.)
And thanks for the kind words about the reread! Any particular favorite parts you want to mention?
My cat does the kneading/nursing thing, too. We got her when she was three, but I suspect she didn’t get enough time with her mother as a kitten because she seems to need a daily does of kneading my belly and sucking on my shirt. (She doesn’t do this to my husband, but she does groom him very intensely).
I don’t think it’s particularly weird at all. I mean, even if she does have inappropriate feelings for me, what’s she gonna do about it? She’s a cat!
Well I’m late again because I was working like a sucker… but here is a pic of WallOfIllusions and me! We met at the first Pittsburgh meetup which went wonderfully. This event was Night Circus themed and I made a tutu. I will be resurrecting that outfit tomorrow for a Halloween-ish party. Yay!
CHICAGO TOASTIES!
ROGERS PARK SOCIAL, 6:00 pm-ish to 10:00 pm-ish, Saturday, November 1.
Right near the Morse stop on the Red Line.
I AM SO SAD I wanted to go but I caught something horrible from the work training session on Wednesday and I spent all day of Halloween in bed (noooo!) and there is no way I’m going out today either. 🙁
Happy Halloween! I just saw my flatmate’s slutty Zombie baseball player outfit and it is kinda amazing and creative. I’m having a quiet night in as I prefer that on Halloween. But have fun all of you going out! http://femimusings.tumblr.com/image/101428875378
Just an update for those who replied to my post about depression on last week’s open thread. sorry this is a downer of a post, but everyone should talk about the Big D more I feel, and I found the comments on here really helpful last week when I was not in a great place.
So: I saw my doc, got prescribed Cipramil, had a pretty horrible reaction after just ONE tablet (shaking, teeth chattering, crying, confusion, felt like the worst ever), so am now on half that dose of Citalopram- gonna try it tomorrow before bed. Having a day off today. If it doesn’t get better after a week Im gonna give up as it is just making me feel worse (plus giving me a stomach upset too).
Last week some of you said that it can be rough before you find the right one, is this similar to your experiences?
Hi Alison! Yes, everyone should talk more about the Big D. Thanks for contributing to stigma removal. The more we talk, the less stigma.
I also prefer a quiet Hallowe’en. The Beloved and I went to a movie theater and a restaurant. Went home after all good children should be in bed.
Sorry about your horrible reaction to Cipramil. I’m sure your doctor talked with you about how long some meds take to show any effect. When no changes are evident, don’t assume any current medication is useless. Many depression meds need to “build up” in your system, so 6 weeks is the norm, the last time I had that talk with my doc. Is Citalopram one of those needing weeks to evidence effect?
I hope you feel proud of yourself for getting help. I am proud to know you. The medication trials are so … well, trying. Keep at it. You deserve a good solution and all the time it takes to find one.
Thanks for reply 🙂 That sounds like a lovely Halloween.
Positive news: a slight adjustment to meds has meant no reaction (so far) so am going to stick with these now. Also feeling a bit more capable already, but they probably haven’t kicked in yet so it’s kind of just the idea of getting help that has given me a spur on.
Quite proud of seeing the doctor, actually telling him what’s wrong (I started with just telling him I had had the flu, but then forced myself to say “I’m actually here because I’ve been feeling really low lately…”) and then sticking with these meds. Starting CBT this Friday! If anyone else is low out there, get help and send the Slump on its way (Makes me think of Dr Seuss: “When you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done”)
Speak next Friday hopefully, have a good week!
Show them something you love that’s weird and esoteric, and then watch them not appreciate its virtues.
Try to hang out either when (if they’re an introvert) they’re almost out of interacting with people points, or (if they’re an extrovert) in a quiet, confined space.
I cannot see or think of persimmons without thinking of this haunting piece. http://widelawns.blogspot.com/2008/02/eulogy.html
Oh god, the seventh edition of the Rubaiyat that only has five editions! SHIVERS FOREVER
(of course this wouldn’t post where it’s supposed to–in response to aravisthequeen)
A weird and nice thing that happened: I’ve always been on the outside looking in where Halloween is concerned because my mother would not let us celebrate it. She was secular about everything, including Valentine’s Day, and she used to vibrate with silent martyred rage after she let us see our non-Jewish relatives on Christmas, but on Halloween she somehow became very religious, because Halloween involves community and fun and child creativity and interacting with other people, which she hated. She made us smile and hand out candy to our friends for a few years, and then, after we objected (because it was pretty miserable, which she would get off on), she consented to take us out shopping on Halloween so the scary non-Jews in their costumes wouldn’t GET US or something. I could have celebrated it any time after leaving my parents’ house, but it seemed fake and uncomfortable. I would hand out candy, but always be sad. So anyway, this year I bought a costume for my 16-month-old (a cat costume because he loves cats), and prepared to go trick-or-treating. I started making a costume for myself from a Russian folk legend. I had a terrible headache and nausea (possible-pregnancy-related, maybe) and ended up being unable to do much of anything, plus the weather couldn’t have been more cold and miserable so my sick husband and I decided not to take the kid out after all. But I was overcome by this love for Halloween and the feeling that I could be part of it somehow. I’m not a big fan of gore, but friendly ghosts and pumpkins and spiders and whatnot are fine. Orange leaves are beautiful. Some spookiness is totally rad. Knowing that next year we’ll be prepared (I WILL have my sarafan and my skull on a stick, so help me G-d) and ready to participate, finally, is awesome.
Everyone's answer is the best, but in a real-world freakout when you want to say no, but need to remain a "lady" for a person you'll need to deal with in the day-to-day, is to affect a tragic loss of opportunity:
"Thank you so much, but I just can't."
"I'm afraid it's just impossible, I'm sorry."
"You are so kind, but I just cannot. Ever. I cannot explain. It's too complicated."
"I can't go into it here at work, but I'm not in a position to say yes. Thank you for understanding."
. . . and believe it or not – don’t laugh – I got the advice from the book Fascinating Womanhood, a charmingly retrograde manual for Christian ladies I read on a lark while in college because I was a baby feminist in a mood for a good laugh. Apparently it’s VERY important for Good Christian Ladies to know how to rebuff a man correctly! The author’s point was to make it so that your pursuer imagines both of you star-crossed protagonists – as characters in a gothic novel – doomed never to come together in this lifetime.
I’ve had many times to practice this approach in my 25+ years in a male-dominated business (engineering – military). It works, without turning your admirer against you, which is important because you don’t need this guy trash talking you, or worse, sabotaging your career, just because you squashed his ego that one time. If your admirer imagines that there is even 1% chance that you may change your mind someday (of course he understands it’s your choice – YOU will let HIM know), he’ll continue to be polite, maybe even help your career someday.
HMMMMMM How did this get here? It belongs to the thread where someone needs help getting rid of an amorous coworker/colleague.
. . . and believe it or not – don't laugh – I got the advice from the book Fascinating Womanhood, a charmingly retrograde manual for Christian ladies I read on a lark while in college because I was a baby feminist in a mood for a good laugh. Apparently it's VERY important for Good Christian Ladies to know how to rebuff a man correctly! The author's point was to make it so that your pursuer imagines both of you star-crossed protagonists – as characters in a gothic novel – doomed never to come together in this lifetime.
I've had many times to practice this approach in my 25+ years in a male-dominated business (engineering – military). It works, without turning your admirer against you, which is important because you don't need this guy trash talking you, or worse, sabotaging your career, just because you squashed his ego that one time. If your admirer imagines that there is even 1% chance that you may change your mind someday (of course he understands it's your choice – YOU will let HIM know), he'll continue to be polite, maybe even help your career someday.
rats – there is a continuation of my advice downthread! It showed up in the wrong place! Rats!
HMMMMMM How did this get here? It belongs to the thread where someone needs help getting rid of an amorous coworker/colleague.
yes, it is perfect timing for me too, since I am alternating time at the University (where my lectures cause students to scream, go into manic jigs, and bleed from their eyeballs, and I get a lot of Nightmares myself) with preparing for a series of Big Heists, which aI am apparently terrible at, since I keep getting wildly Suspicious doing it. Feel free to solicit me for confessions too, all: La colonelle Chabert.
Is anyone else looking for candidates for the Face Tailor? He's offering to loan me a "prestige" face for an evening as a reward if I agree to find someone for him to trade places with, but I am not sure I want his creepy reward….
Thanks for reply 🙂 That sounds like a lovely Halloween.
Positive news: a slight adjustment to meds has meant no reaction (so far) so am going to stick with these now. Also feeling a bit more capable already, but they probably haven't kicked in yet so it's kind of just the idea of getting help that has given me a spur on.
Quite proud of seeing the doctor, actually telling him what's wrong (I started with just telling him I had had the flu, but then forced myself to say "I'm actually here because I've been feeling really low lately…") and then sticking with these meds. Starting CBT this Friday! If anyone else is low out there, get help and send the Slump on its way (Makes me think of Dr Seuss: "When you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done")
Speak next Friday hopefully, have a good week!
COOL! I am in Basel too! So happy to know there are other toasties over here. (So much cheese, not enough toast, hehe.)
Okay, wait, I guess I misread part of the thread above – thought there was a full-fledged toast group here.
Anyhow, Lucy, I am at the Uni too! (American temporary transplant to this weird and beautiful country.) Wanna get a coffee sometime? you can send me an email at kate (dot) harlan (at) gmail (dot com).