The saleswoman is the first to notice when you step out of the dressing room. Her eyes fly open in shock. The tape measurer falls from her nerveless fingers.
“That’s impossible,” she breathes. “Eighty percent of women are wearing the wrong size bra. An ill-fitting bra can cause back, neck and shoulder pain.”
“At least seventy-four percent of women are wearing the wrong size bra,” the customer standing next to her intones, before ripping her shoes off and hurling them into the wall. “And twenty-nine percent of them know it.”
“You haven’t been properly fitted,” the manager adds, before falling to the floor in a dead faint.
“Women are making bra mistakes every day,” the saleswoman says, carefully pouring a bucket of gasoline over herself and striking a match against her watch. “Back and shoulder pain…back and shoulder pain. Proper fittings. Hand wash only. Cup bulge. Band size. You’re actually a DD. Weight fluctuations. This isn’t happening. This isn’t real.”
But it is real. You’re finally wearing the right bra size, and everything is different.
***
Your boss knocks hesitantly on your office door before walking in. You meet her eyes, and you say nothing. There is no need to.
“I’ve noticed,” she begins, and then falters. You place a hand under her chin.
“Go on,” you tell her. “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
“I’ve noticed all the work that you’ve put in over the years,” she says. “The thankless work you’ve done for numerous planning committees that we suggested would lead to more interesting work but never did. The time you spent training others who were eventually promoted over you. All that’s over now. I want you to have my job.”
A silent crowd of your coworkers appears behind her. She holds out her hands in mute appeal. “We — we all want you to have our jobs.”
You don’t have to ask about the details. You know that when you go home that night you’ll find six hundred 401(k)s made out to your name, six hundred paychecks deposited into your account, six hundred Blue Cross insurance cards in your wallet, six hundred times thirteen non-consecutive vacation days accrued. And your underwire won’t pinch at all.
One by one, your colleagues file out of the building, and drive away. You never see them again.
***
All of your exes are already lined up and doing the dishes when you get home. They came over as soon as they heard.
***
Women find you on the street, their eyes bright and frightened. You sense them before you see them. You feel their tentative hands hovering just behind you before they reach out to touch you. You experience, rather than observe, the fear warring with desire within them. “Please,” they say. “Please, what are you d–”
You place a finger to their lips and watch as a look of perfect joy and perfect peace washes over their faces.
“I’m wearing the right bra size,” you tell them, and nothing else needs to be said. They sink gratefully to the ground, eyes downcast, and fling themselves at your feet. Your straps neither dig into nor slip down your shoulders as you pass.
You look down at your phone. Your voicemail, your inbox, even your Direct Messages on Twitter are all brimming with remorseful messages from everyone who has ever wronged you. They were all wrong, and now they’re so, so sorry. There are no lumps, seams, or bulges under the lines of your shirt, and your father has come back from the dead to tell you how proud he is of you.
Your band is fitting like a goddamn dream, neither sagging nor riding up along your shoulder blades. You’re wearing the right bra size, damnit, and nothing is ever going to be the same.
Tags: beauty, bra size, transcendence
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This is actually pretty close to how it felt for me although I feel kind of bad for my exes since we’re getting a new dishwasher next week that will render them redundant.
Shh, no. It’s fine. You are a warrior princess. They were always redundant.
As someone who just bought a handful of perfect-fitting 32DD’s to celebrate the end of breastfeeding, AMEN.
The anonymous bouquets and singing telegrams can start arriving anytime.
IT HAS BEEN FITTED
so say we all!
I’m wearing a nursing bra even though my child stopped nursing 6 months ago and it probably never fit in the first place. Toads are falling from the sky. My shower runs red with blood. The Angel of Death is knocking on my door with a measuring band.
I am a 34 H and living proof you can get a decent and comfortable bra, all my bras were fitted (well okay fitted twice because the fucked up the first time but still) by bravissimo and they proved to me it is possible to look fab, be comfortable and have the support you need. Go bravissimo!
I wish wearing my correct bra size meant no more pain. All that adulation would be good too!
#hugeboobs #braphysicsarebullshitat34F
I’m with you. Also, it would be nice if one was as symmetrical as the bra manufacturers intended.
#Notperky #30E
just remember that bras are naturally occurring phenomena that co-evolved as a parasitic race upon the human species, so the idea that they might not be physically comfortable or that they might be mass-produced factory items none of which fit your particular body particularly well is dangerous, unbalanced and unscientific. a wacoal representative will be by shortly with a tape measure to persuade you that squeezing your ribcage with a strip of fabric tightly enough to suspend a few pounds above it with no help from your shoulders is a pleasant and fun way to spend all day, every day.
LOL god I wish bras WERE alive (“It’s a LIVING bra!”) and conformed with precision to one’s body and kept all weight off shoulders and everything was buoyant and headaches and back pain were banished forever and ever amen.
(Also, who the hell came up with that ridiculous formula about adding 4 inches to your band size for your cup size? My ribcage is 34 inches. My bust is 45. It doesn’t work).
LOL god I wish bras WERE alive (“It’s a LIVING bra!”) and conformed with precision to one’s body
I’ve seen too many Cronenberg films to sign up for that possibility. I think we should work toward a lower-gravity environment instead. What could possiblY go wrong?
I am the video bra made flesh.
Well, there was that one episode of Deep Space Nine where that woman from the low-gravity planet transferred to the station and she had to wear a Gravity Cage Body Suit everywhere she went so she wouldn’t implode or something, except for in her special gravity-adjusted quarters where she and Bashir had awesome low-gravity sex.
But it’s not like she was a recurring character or anything, so it didn’t work out in the end, I guess?
stuff got too heavy in the end
I’m sure you already know this, but that bullshit formula is the #1 reason why women wear the wrong band size. My guess is it was a dude who had no idea what women even looked like underneath their clothes.
I once read that it had to do with how bras used to be made of things like silk that didn’t stretch at all, so they wouldn’t really fit unless you added some extra space in there. Then we invented stretchy space fabric, but no one bothered changing the method. (This is still the fault of men, probably)
#braallmen
The Ultimate Punishment
Obviously they should wear bras where the straps constantly slip down, yet they always pinch and by the way, the underwire is coming out, so they’re getting stabbed in the chest/side every time they move.
Seriously. Did John Ruskin make up that formula or what.
Only to be disappointed when “there were certain circumstances in her person” which render the formula useless.
I think that’s my favorite comment on anything, ever, so far.
I think a couple of octopuses could be trained for this, if you were willing to spend most of your time pretty damp.
The beaks firmly clamped onto your nipples?
Absolutely. Tentacles wrapped around your ribs and neck. And since an octopus can change colors, it will always match your outfit!
*evil bra-fitting evangelist enters, hissing* noooo cup size is the measure of the DIFFERENCE between your bust and underbust – it’s why a 32 D is a TOTALLY DIFFERENT boob size than a 40 D. A is a 1 inch difference, B is 2, etc etc. http://www.brabandproject.com/
I say this as somebody who thought I was a 32 B forever because my chest isn’t that big. Nope! 30 DD. Who knew? (only 20% of women!)
34F? I wear 30GG/H and am fine with my boobs. Your boobs are smaller than mine and I don’t consider mine huge. Are you sure about your correct size?
She may like or dislike her boobs as is her wish. Their relative bounty as compared to yours is irrelevant!
Yes but a 34f is pretty small. If she sees them as huge there’s a good chance she isn’t a 34f ..
F is not small at all! Especially when fashion is made for a B or C cup.
a few examples of what 34F looks like
http://www.brabandproject.com/gallery/search?band=34&cup=F&age=&brand=&sister_sizes=0&search=Search
Mine are 34F (UK) and I consider them huge. So there you go.
Thanks! And I was referring to the UK size as well. Maybe because I’m short and very high-waisted this size is actually really disproportionately large on my body. Not exactly sure how this turned into a moratorium on whether or not I’m aware of how bras work. At age 32. And having worked as a clothing/costume designer. And getting fitted every six months or so. And inhabiting my body every day and all. Maybe I should have included a photo for everyone’s edification. 😉
Same here: Short waist, short neck, and dis-proportionally large because of it. I have to special order my shirts, it’s very annoying and expensive.
Amen. (Says the 38HH. That is too much alphabet on my chest.) The neck/shoulder tension is one thing, but I would prefer not having bra marks on my skin for an hour after a day of being dressed. hashtagnevergoingtohappen hashtagIdon’tusehashtags
I agree with you. Reduction may be your only option for bra comfort. I had one, and it was one of the best decisions of my life!
Me too. Some of it “grew back” (I gained 10 pounds) so I still have issues, but it was worth it.
Try a 34 N (us size) :
Are you UK or US?
I am living proof as a 34 H that comfy fab looking and well supported bras are possible ( I may have commented on the wrong comment this comment) go to bravissimo, seriously best boob decision I ever made. #bravissimobendsbraphysicsat34H
Two words. Breast reduction. I’ve never regretted mine. No more back and shoulder pain. My insurance paid for it. Yes I have some scarring but it’s worth itit.
Last week I found a sports bra, an amazing sports bra (And it has academic references! How cool is that?) and may have been slightly evangelical about it to various friends.
Sorry guys.
uh, can you evangelize a little here? people want to knooooowwwww.
The brand is Shock Absorber, I’ve got the ‘running’ one though I don’t run at all. Expensive, but worth it for me – though I mean, my last sports bra was $20 at an outlet store and not even my size, so really, anything would be a step up.
The other cool thing is their Bounce-O-Meter on their website. MESMERISING
I can’t stop watching them bounce!
Tell me tell me I want to hear all about it! I’m all about Shock Absorber these days but always looking for new and exciting sports bras.
Well, it’s Shock Absorber. It’s like there’s no movement at all!
Haha awesome! Their Ultimate Run bra is the actual best thing ever.
*Fistbump*
Yup, that’s the one I have.
I want to know! Those little stretchy things from Target do not work for my 36DDs.
The brand is Shock Absorber. Expensive, but well made, and holds everything in.
what is this sports bra, tell me about this
As per upthread, it’s called Shock Absorber. (They should be charging me for this!)
You are an angel among mortals! I thoughtlessly replied without refreshing the page after taking 20 minutes to read the article, but of course everyone would want to know. I am appalled and saddened to find that Shock Absorbers have ALL their retail locations in Australia and New Zealand, and am considering moving there immediately.
Amazon often has them on sale, and I think you can return clothing for free there as long as it’s sold directly by them. Also, the model I have runs small in the band, if that’s helpful.
BLESS YOUR SOUL
Well, my halo is looking extra shiny today.
Though… the link I posted upthread is the NZ site. They’ve got a German and UK site as well, so odds are there’s a USA one just for you! I mean, not that you shouldn’t move to NZ anyway, because you absolutely should.
The Shock Absorber people have sites for different countries. Not sure where you live, but I found the website for the USA
If you’re in Canada, I’ve found them at the Bay.
US site here: http://www.shockabsorberusa.com/index.php They also carry them at Nordstrom, if you are a bricks and mortor type.
Also, I once bought one in a Victoria Secret store many moons ago (before they started selling an in house athletic line) and had I been a smarter woman I would have bought 8.
I have two Shock Absorber bras and they are truly life changing. As in: I couldn’t run without pain before I found them (even with expensive sports bras), and now I am training for a half marathon. They’re that good.
Everytime I see a woman running down the sidewalk with her boobs going back and forth, I want to shout SHOCK ABSORBER from the rooftops. Of course, I don’t, because I’m a human with manners who minds her own business and not a pushy monster, so I’m telling all of you. SHOCK ABSORBER MODEL 4490 IS A GODSEND.
DUDE I am going to drive three hours to Sydney (or hijack my next work trip) to buy a couple of these because 1. Sports bra! and 2. The two stockists are called “More than a Handful” and “Storm in a D-Cup”.
Yessss.
I bought a Victoria’s Secret front-close sports bra and the ease of taking it on and off is a goddamn revelation.
This is basically true though.
Damn straight it’s true (says the woman who was fitted many years ago and couldn’t believe how good it felt to wear the right size bra).
Still a 34A. The true bra size phenomenon didn’t change much for me 🙁
Oh, but I bet it changed the rate at which strangers on the internet say “oh, that can’t be right! 34A? Impossible! No one wears a 34 band! You’re probably a 30C! You should get a fitting!”
That is unfortunately true. I think there’s just not a lot of wiggle room to increase cup size/reduce band size when your tits barely fill an A cup.
But.. but… 34A and 30C have the same cup volume. Cup size is relative to band size. If we’re speaking strictly volume 34A = 32B = 30C = 28D, but the larger the band size the bigger the bra will fit because of the longer band.
Oh yes. I am a Bravissimo nay-sayer – they tried to convince me that I was a 34F or something ridiculous. Sure – the cup was OK but I could hardly do up the band and had massive bulges of me sticking out all over.
Bra sales ladies always seem disappointed when I say, “Well, I generally wear a 34A…” and they have to agree that, yes, in fact that is the correct bra size.
I’ve gotten that. And also “Oh honey, you just don’t have much to work with up here, do you?” GEE, THANKS.
BITCHES.
THE WORST
right here with you!
NOT SORRY FOR BEING THIS PERSON
This is basically the story of my life. It all happened that magical day…
brb, going to get fitted and buy dish soap.
As an amateur seamstress who has measured every part of herself it is physically possible to measure it’s true:
The sales girls cannot handle you getting it right first time. I have witnessed one go through all 7 stages of grief until finally accepting that yes, the 34B really is the best fit.
i personally love the look on their faces when “would you like a bra fitting?” “no.” [shock] “but most women are wearing the wrong—” “i know. i shop here. i know my size. thank you.” [repeat upon entry every time.]
as a former bra salesgirl — a) we HAVE to fit you. Like, have to. Like, our demon manager will descend from the hellpit in which she lives to ask us WHY you didn’t get fitted before trying on a bra and HOW we will do better next time at pressuring you into a fitting and it’s way more tiresome than the conversation I’ll have with you, trust me. and b) out of the hundreds of customers I see a day, a significant portion do not even know the size of the bra they have on at that exact moment, never mind which size actually fits them. And, c), when ladies who do not know their bra size try on 25 different bras in every combination of band and cup sizes from B to DD to 32 to 36, in every color, which happens A LOT, I’m left to collect readjust the straps on, and restock them JESUS CHRIST JUST LET ME MEASURE YOU BEFORE YOU TRY ON THE WHOLE STORE. If you know your bra size, you are a unicorn. Please do not get frustrated at salesgirls’ reluctance to believe that you are, in fact, a unicorn.
… my PTSD from working retail tends to set in this time of the year.
But have you considered a Diva cup??
As someone who has a tendency to get a tad evangelical about properly fitting bras and menstrual cups, I AM DYING HERE.
What about joining the much-maligned Sistren Of The Copper Coil?
If I hadn’t had a tubal ligation in 2004, I would be 100% on board with that.
House Mirena salutes the Sistren and would like to invite everyone over for coffee spiked with the liquor of her choice and discuss how much we love not having cramps or babies, respectively.
Everybody knows the first rule of Diva Cup Club is that you MUST talk about Diva Cup Club!
And telling people about a properly fitted bra is really just performing a public service. You’d be remiss to evangelize.
Except (as noted above) unprompted and to total strangers. Because RUDE.
Did you know that Diva cups actually stop working if you don’t tell at least 3 other women about them at least once per cycle?
*nods solemnly*
100% true fact, folks, so get out there and ambush your friends, neighbors, and any random ladies in your vicinity.
Maybe that’s why it never worked properly for me no matter how many insertion methods I tried (that IS what she said.) I should have tried evangelizing before I threw in the towel.
I might have tried a Diva cup if I weren’t a contrary asshole who’d been talked at in awkward moments, like as I was trying to quietly borrow supplies from a friend at a moment of desperate need, and had a woman pop out of nowhere to yell BUT HAVE YOU? at me in public. :/ The people who like it clearly love it, and I love when people love things, but nooooo.
The bra fitting I’ve done, though. Worked out pretty nicely!!
There is absolutely no situation on this earth where it’s appropriate to discuss menstrual supplies with complete strangers unless they ask. Seriously, WTF.
Sing it, Red!
Yeah – and when people ask or want to have the conversation about products, that is the time to GO WILD! You just aren’t going to see ads for menstrual cups on TV or what have you, and the people who would be interested in changing things up need to hear it from someone else!
Divavangelists, good god
Evangelizing about almost anything is the worst and makes people feel so harassed! But there’s something about the Divavangelists that makes me want to quit all feminine hygiene products and just bleed in public.
oh god oh god “free-bleeding”
I KNOW. WHY. Like, listen, I am all for handling things naturally under general circumstances, but I have to go out into the world whether I have my period or not, and I’d prefer not to leave my blood around?? That seems like the least I can do for my fellow humans in the modern age?
I think those people are ridiculous. I mean, I assume they wipe their noses, right?
that’s not the only place I hope they wipe.
Probably on their hands, which they then use to lovingly caress everything in a subway car, door handles in hospitals, and every kid in a daycare center.
it’s the combo of “i, a stranger, know your body bleeding more than you” and also the sudden extreme sharing of ladybit information no matter how public the venue. Like apparently the direct result of getting a Diva Cup is an inability to EVER not talk about your Diva Cup
Yesssss, precisely. In no other context is it okay to talk to strangers about the things you insert into your vagina, or about how you deal with cups of your own blood – but the minute you buy a tampon or open a pad in a public restroom, someone has a story. I love a good earthy lady-conversation as much as the next person, but it gets to be a bit much!
how you deal with cups of your own blood
You win everything.
Thank you, thank you, my everything can be mailed to me at the following address: YESSSSS.
*grimaces*
What about properly fitting Diva cups? Size 1 or Size 2 people — it’s very important.
OMG, you’ve just reminded me – I need to get a new one, since that baby came out and rearranged things. Haven’t needed it yet, but it could be any second…
Yeah. It’s nice but it’s not a miracle. What it ultimately means is that you’re never, ever going to just be able to walk into a department store and buy a bra and all of them are more expensive and they still wear out fast because, you know, gravity, and ARGGGHHH.
That said, discovering the middle parts of the underwire are actually supposed to go between the boobs and touch your chest was a total revelation.
Also, the amazing specialty bra store where I learned my size sold me a $70 sports bra that fits and I finally, actually understand how and why people run. It’s like strapping myself into a bulletproof vest, but man, that sucker holds me. I think that some kind of sorcerer stood over the sports bra and enchanted it, because it makes no sense that it is still fucking holding me after months. I love it, but I’ve started to look at it askance because I don’t know what the enchantment is going to cost me in the end. My name? My firstborn? Something. There is eventually going to be a price besides money, here. I just know it.
#defyinggravity #38K #thatsnotatypo
Right? I think I’ve been to every specialty shop in NYC and I still order mine online because the selection is such crap.
I need a corset or two.
You are a goddess. This comment made my day.
But…but… WHAT IS THAT SPORTS BRA???????? Why are you holding out on us? My triple D’s want to run!
Ditto! I don’t even want to run. I just want to know that a sports bra exists that actually keeps my damn boobs in place. My current bra basically just reduces the jiggle.
Oh, alright. Fine. It’s enell. http://www.enell.com
Enjoy your running, but if eventually you have to give a sorcerer your soul in exchange, don’t come crying to me. I warned you. I mean, I did not even mention the part where there’s not even an underwire. You cannot tell me dark magic isn’t involved.
(Seriously. ENJOY YOUR RUNNING. Like, I’ll be on a bike path walking and I’ll just randomly run because I want to run for awhile. This has never, ever been an option for me before.)
I’m a big fan of the Elomi Energise. Straps the 38HHs down and feels comfortable to wear all day at that. I am smug in the knowledge that I do not intend to reproduce, and thus any demands the Undergarment Demons make for my firstborn child will be moot.
Yes! Learning that I am a 38F rather than a 42D didn’t really change my life that much, but getting a sports bra that allows me to run without having to fear getting knocked unconscious by my own tits definitely has.
Size twins! High five!
Boob-bump!
Yeah, the underwire-touching-your-sternum bit was a magical piece of info!
(mostly I just wanted to comment here so I could say I’m currently in a 38 J/K (nursing bra) and I just get such a fucking kick out of the J/K part – haha, it’s a joke your tits are this big! Ha!)
Bravissimo is the best. The absolute best. (Spendy, but man, the English know how to make a bra. And they go up to K cup in most of their styles. And they are very nice about returns — though you do have to pay for the return shipping to the UK yourself, but bras are not heavy and it’s worth it — save up and order a bunch of things, and then spend an extra $15 to return any that don’t work. Totally worth it, in my opinion.)
I went into a shop and couldn’t find my size, but the assistant was determined that I would walk out with a bra. So she put me in something that had a huge band and tiny cups, and told me it fitted. “but the gore should be touching my chest” “oh no, they don’t in the bigger sizes”. “it’s giving me four boobs” “yes that is a side effect of being an F, unfortunately”. “I can pull the band out like six inches away from my back” “yes they’re supposed to be roomy”. Um yeah I won’t be buying anything from you thank you very much. She was so awful that I sent an email when I got home. Don’t shop in Intimissimi in Westfield, people!
Nope sorry, would rather wear bad bras than go for a fitting. Still traumatized from being publicly felt-up by judgmental 150-year-old lingerie saleswomen when I was 12. Rite of passage my ass, mother.
That sounds like the worst. I was never fitted until super recently because I lived in the middle of nowhere for most of my life, but I was able to find good bras by reading obsessively about bra fitting online, ordering and returning a shitload of things from Nordstrom, and then buying overstock of the ones that fit for super cheap on ebay. No judgmental boob crones required!
That said, I’m a runner with 32FF boobs, so I had some incentive to get it “right.” My bff is built like a runway model and her feelings on bra fitting stuff are basically an eternal massive shrug.
I’m super rural, and so I’ve had to use a lot of help from the internet, most specifically reddit and the /r/abrathatfits, and internet shopping. It was some annoying trial and error (buy a bra, try it on send it back, reorder in a different size, decide that brand isn’t right for me, send it back and order a different brand), but then I ended up with a few that might not be closer fit, but are sooooo much closer than what I was before. Trying to fit 34G into a 36C just looks terrible and isn’t comfortable.
But, now I’ve lost weight and my bras are over a year old and stretched out and I need to start the process all over again.
I did the order-try on-return-order again thing too when I was figuring out my size, then took a trip to the nearest Nordstrom and spent two hours trying on every brand they had in that size. Interestingly, the brand I settled on fit differently than the others and I ended up going up a band size from what I had thought I should be (generally considered a no-no?) but also up TWO cup sizes, and was so excited by the resulting fit I bought two bras in that style right then and there even though I know everyone says you should wait and buy them cheaper on eBay.
This means my size is completely different from what the tape measure would imply, but it feels sooooo good so I’m probably doing something right.
Nah, there’s no “should.” Measuring is unreliable because (among other reasons) band elasticity varies so much. So does cup depth and other variations. So measurement can be a helpful starting point, but then if and when you find a brand/style with a good cup depth/distance/whatever for your shape, it’s usually most successful to just try on several sizes until they fit. (I also seriously wouldn’t trust a salesperson who fits a customer with a tape measure, and then won’t deviate from that measurement when there are actual bras being tried on.)
I’ve been “fitted” a couple of times with different results and neither has resulted in any kind of miracle revelation. I don’t think bra sizes are as standard as they pretend to be, and also, I don’t really believe a bra can ever not be the worst. So maybe you’re not missing out.
I’m sorry to hear that, as in my experience really good bras feel like a comforting hug for your boobs and fix your whole posture and make admiration to droppeth as a gentle rain from heaven in every outfit.
My clothes all fit so much better when I’m wearing the proper size bra. And now that I know what to look for, I can even hit the Victoria’s Secret clearances and get stuff that fits ok.
They definitely aren’t, and it can take some messing around to find what is most right for you. It was a magical revelation when I got out of a 36C into a 34G. However, that is still just a guess, though a more accurate guess. Size, shape, and placement of breasts and how the bra is constructed all make a difference. So, not only do you have to find the right size, but also the right size in the right style in the right brand. But, when that all comes together, I swear I heard a choir of angels.
Yeah, my “right bra size” is about three or four sizes, depending on brands and styles and fits and whatnot.
Yeah, that’s how I feel. I went to this boutique to get fitted and the woman kept insisting I was a 34C and bringing me those bras. Some of them obviously didn’t fit, but even the ones that did ostensibly fit (she made me put on a tight shirt to demonstrate that there weren’t any lines or bulges visible) didn’t feel good. I just…I’ve tried a lot of bras in that area (34C, 34D, 32D, 32DD) but it seems like they’re almost always uncomfortable in some way or other?
Yeah, the sizes are totally not standard and I’ve had good fittings and bad fittings. If you find a great store/great person, it can work out. I took my niece to a dept. store for a fitting and they misread their own chart and couldn’t understand the bra didn’t fit her.
Actually, you don’t need to go for a fitting. Most of those are useless anyway, because they want to sell you the bras they have, not the ones you need. Check out this post and fit yourself: http://sameatschildren.tumblr.com/post/4596291552….
Whoa, was totally on the “it’s all a ladyscam” bus — because FFS, I’ve been fitted more than once, nothing ever changes, bras are rubbish, I gave up and started wearing stretchover sports-bra-y things —
But, that link gave me some very startling information and now I need to rethink everything.
Sometime before the 1960’s, my mother was trying on bras in a fitting room. The saleswoman felt it was her duty to inform my mother thus: “You have the smallest breasts I’ve ever seen.” MEANING you’re making me do my job by requesting that I pull different size bras for you, and I hate you for it.
I’m not much more endowed than my mom, and I don’t think anyone came out with bras that fit me properly until the late nineties. Really, was it that hard to design a bra like J. Crew’s T-Shirt line, which fit me splendidly?
three iterations into making my own bras and I AM ALMOST HERE
sooooooooooon
Ugh, I would like to try making my own underwear, however precision sewing is SO not my stronghold.
I am crazy impressed. I wish I had that kind of dedication, time, skill, etc. Good luck!
I got measured and they said I was wearing the right size, but my bras show through all of my shirts, always, all the time, and I have no clue how to fix it. They feel right, but the top line of the cups is always making a line in my clothes. How is everyone else avoiding this problem? I’m like a 34C, which I think is a pretty middle of the road size, so I don’t get why I am having this constant problem.
Mine do the same thing! Except with me it is a small (blissfully small, but still there) lump in the back. I am also a fairly middle of the road 36D, and I still have issues. The cups fit perfectly, the straps don’t fall down or dig in, but if I go up a band size everything falls to pieces and the cups are humongous. Dammit, bras, why don’t you understand that I have a big ribcage???
#bigribcagenoheart?
That hashtag is glorious!
I have this problem with fitted dresses. If the bust and hips are right, then I can’t take deep breaths. If I can breathe properly, the top gaps and the skirt hangs off me. Thanks, parents, for this problem.
It’s the shape/placement of your breast vs. the shape of the bra. Some breasts are rounder, some are more pointy. If your bra is cutting into the wrong place on your breast, try one with the seam placed differently, or with a differently shaped cup. Check wire placement: some wires are set closer together or at different angles. A woman whose breasts are naturally close together needs a bra where the wires won’t disrupt that. A woman whose breasts are naturally further apart may suffer pain with “cleavage enhancing” bras that cram them together in the middle Keep trying different styles and always put a shirt on over as a test before you leave the dressing room.
One more thing: lace is pretty, but it’s bumpy. That may be part of the equation as well.
I don’t think I’ve ever owned a bra with lace, so that’s not the issue. It’s a bummer that the solution is: hunt through a lot of different bra styles and try on stuff over and over again; would much prefer a simple “you are a different size” type problem. Thanks for your insight though!
if you go to herroom.com they have a link on the side of the page I think where you can go through and identify your boob shape (wide set/splayed/narrow/etc) and they will tell you what kind of bras will fit you best!
and they send you a 10% off discount along with your results!
You’re a hero!
Exactly! Most people think “a bra is a bra”, but I had to go through a lot of styles and brands to figure that out (Panache/balconette/2-part construction, though that can show under tees), I know some friends love Freya, or prefer a demi cup, etc. It’s all about finding what works for your individual breasts.
True! And another factor that most people are unaware of is strap length. I went around wearing bras with a cup size too large because the distance between my shoulder and the bottom of my breasts is apparently longer than many women’s, and the cup was compensating for too-short straps. Now I either buy bras with extra-long straps (and wear them on the longest setting) or sew in extra strapping. It makes a huge difference.
I’m a shorty and I have the exact opposite problem. It was hell finding sports bras that did anything until I discovered they also make them with adjustable straps.
The straps, god yes. I don’t understand why my tits are expected to live like an hour north of where they are.
I also was a 34 C, but was having a similar problem. The saleswoman suggested a 32D. The cup is the same size valume-wise, but the smaller band makes them a bit narrower and closer fitting for me. I think the narrower cup pushes my boobs slightly towards the middle filling the cup more evenly up to the top line. If you saw me you’d never say I’m a D (and really I wouldn’t either) but this size really is the most comfortable and best looking bra for me. (I went to VS, btw). I had been bra fitted many times before, so I was surprised that no one had mentioned this option before, but I’m glad I finally learned it. I also have a particular style of bra from VS that is my all time favorite and they have different colors, designs, etc. that provide enough variety — all in the best fit for me! I hope this helps and that you find a solution soon! 🙂
Have you tried Gap’s underwire t-shirt bras? I have that issue, because I’m not particularly full at the top of the cup. Anyway, Gap’s bras are cut a little tighter to the chest, so they actually fit me. Or, you know, as well as anything does. They’re also pretty comfortable (for bras). I even buy the lacy ones.
Seconding Gap’s t-shrt bras! Full coverage and just enough padding that there’s no chance of THO if the office gets cold.
Ughhhhhhhhh is there NO area of a woman’s life that’s immune from concern-trolling from strangers? (trick question, of course not!)
Will the shock of “wait, we were supposed to be worrying about X Thing?! People do that?!” never end, either?
There’s always a new “problem” and, oh-so-conveniently, a product you must buy to solve that problem.
I don’t know whether this is true, but lately I Read It On The Interwebs that razors started being marketed to women for body hair removal as a direct result of men going off to WWI and thus razor sales falling, so they had to think of something which can be shaved other than men’s faces.
The Army (all of them) was buying razors en masse,* though, so I’m a bit skeptical of that explanation. It’s more likely a simple desire to increase profits by increasing user base. Straight razors were expensive to produce and a one-time purchase, but upon the advent of the much cheaper to manufacture safety razor, it made sense to have as many people tied into buying blades as possible.
*Among my collection are two WWI era Gillettes originally made for the Canadian army.
Actually, safety razors didn’t become popular until WWI. Gillette arranged for every soldier to get one in their kit. When they came back from war, men continued to buy safety razors and blades and straight razors fell out of fashion.
However, once Gillette had achieved that, they decided to expand their market and created the idea of hair removal for women to sell more razors.
This is exactly my feeling whenever people bring up those adult baby-wipes being marketed as “necessary” now. I see what you’re doing, marketers, and I’m not fucking falling for it.
what
I can’t remember which company is doing it, but one of the toilet paper companies is trying to sell what are basically baby wipes that you use with toilet paper. The ads follow pretty much the same themes as the early women’s razor ones about how everyone is doing it, it’s basic hygiene etc. They even have one of a woman at a speed dating event rejecting any men who don’t use it.
They make my ass itch.
aghhhhhhhhh everything is terrible
I’m an adult, I can get poop off of my butthole just fine with regular toilet paper THANKS
I remember my first fitting at Rigby & Peller, where they don’t use tape measures. I was more blown away by the fact that a young lady squinted for less than one second at my naked boobs and went away and brought me the perfect bra, than the perfect bra. I am grateful to her as now I have 5 Prima Donna Madison bras in 30F and I will never not wear them, but HOW DID SHE DO THAT? The Rigby & Peller bra ladies are boob witches, confirmed by all friends I know who have been there for a fitting who had this exact same thing happen to them. 1. get naked from the waist up. 2. have a lady squint at your boobs for less than a second. 3. she leaves and comes back with the perfect bra that is perfect. Boob witches.
I don’t understand why England is so on top of their bra game while America is like “lol everyone alive is like a 34C at Victoria’s Secret, right?”
WHERE ARE MY BOOB WITCHES
So that’s where the druids ended up…
Rigby and Peller are wonderful. I rave about them to anyone who’ll listen. Except that they inexplicably decided to stop stocking nursing bras just when I needed them. 🙁 The sales lady I spoke to was very apologetic and gave me pointers on brands that might work for me, but it’s not quite the same.
Well, it’s where Quinky goes, so….
I got fitted at Bravissimo in Glasgow and it was similar. No measuring, just looking and then bringing in bras to try on.
Intimacy in NYC did that when I went there: I got naked, they stared at my boobs for about five seconds, and came back with a bunch of bras for me to try on. First time I got a well-fitted bra. (That tape measure stuff is bullshit.)
This happened to me at Intimacy also! And I also wound up with a Prima Donna, which I’m pretty sure is a Madison! Except I only got one because IT WAS 110 FUCKING DOLLARS
On the other hand I still have it, because until this year it hurt to wear it for more than four hours at a time. Also the lace peeks out over the top of most of my nice shirts.
TL;DR: I got my first properly-fitted bra at Intimacy NYC and still have mixed feelings about it
!!! i am also a 30F and i am interested in these magical bras. i usually settle for 32DDD if i can find them. i’ve never even heard of prima donna madison and i thought i had scoured the internet.
I went to a Bravissimo or some similar store at the KOP Mall while on maternity leave with my 2nd, and them telling me that I was a 40E was ha-mazing, but not as amazing as putting on that Prima Donna Madison bra for the first time. I think I wore it out of the store.
hmm i don’t think there’s a bravissimo anywhere near but surely there must be something similar. i’m in san francisco, so really, there must be something! the macy’s and nordstrom here have pretty wide selections of brands and my go-to is wacoal but they don’t make my favorite bra in a 30F, just a 32DDD. i just need to set a day aside for boob wrangling, oof.
This happened to me at Orchard Corset in NYC, a tiny mom & pop shop run by nice old Jewish people that looks more like a closet on the inside. Only the woman who does the fittings was out on her lunch break or something, so this great big bearded Hasidic man just took a look at me from across the counter and told my my correct bra size. It was amazing. Years later I’m still wearing this size, and so grateful.
Like being told your true name…
In Sonoma County, CA, the nearest boob witches work at a place called Ma Cherie et Moi. The saleslady literally looked at me wearing an old sports bra, went and got me two styles to try on, and the second one fit amazingly. Turns out I’m a 32 band and right in between C and D in cup size, so I tend to wear a D when the cup is stiff/lined/shaped/ and a C if it’s unlined. I thought I was a 36B until I found out that’s one of the most common mis-sizings people get given and decided to get boob witch advice.
YES the woman in Selfridges looked at me with a jumper on and still got the right size! Magic.
If anyone’s looking in the Boston area, Forty Winks in Cambridge is where my book witches live.
I’ve been to Intimacy as well, but holy hell are they expensive! And kind of fanatical about their system.
Yeahhh, this right here. Ever since the fitter at the bra store manhandled my boobs into a new bra, I have been babbling about the joy of true sizing to everyone I know like a statistic-loving fool. The pain, it is gone! It’s like my breasts are being cupped by angel hands! Etc.
This happens to me also. The bras I buy are closer to a “demi-cup” cut and I think the issue comes from cut, not fit. Having the tops of the cups totally cover all of my breasts and then some would probably make the bra less visible through clothes but then I’d be wearing the same 1950s-style Bali bras as my mother and I just can’t.
Argh, this was supposed to be a reply to lilsebastian01.
I used to always wear balconettes and demi-cups too until I discovered my brand, Natori (evangelizing time!) and their full-coverage bras just look so sleek and refined that it doesn’t feel like wearing a garment meant for the elderly at all. They have lace and colors and patterns if you want them, which I definitely DO WANT. They’re also pretty expensive but the usual workarounds are available (ebay, etc.) and whenever their bras go on sale on their website or somewhere like Bare Necessities, it’s always the hot pink/leopard print ones that are the most discounted, which makes them even less boring. I’m actually mostly wearing plain black and nude bras from them right now and they have an embossed floral pattern that’s slightly shimmery so you can’t see it under a shirt but when I put it on in the morning I feel AMAZING.
So what if the best bra for you is the same 1950s-style Bali bras that your mother wears – if it works for you? There is a genetic component at work there so it’s not surprising. If you’re worried that someone will see it, wear the fancy, frilly bras for those special occasions and the plain Bali for everyday. I don’t see what’s wrong with that.
Getting the right bra size wasn’t quite this good but I’m reliably informed that getting the breastfeeding latch right wil be.
Oh I hope so! Currently suffering latch woes due to tongue tie (divided 2 days ago but mini-PWF has 3 months of bad latching with a restricted tongue to unlearn.)
Oh, hugs. It does get better, I promise.
I hope so too! Left side she only takes the nipple instead of latching on properly, right side she CLAMPS ON FOR DEAR LIFE. I am going to a breastfeeding cafe tomorrow to wail at a midwife and hoping it’s basically going to be THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK YOUR BABY DOESNT WANT YOU TO KNOW and then we skip happily into the sunset and everything is perfect forever.
Good luck to you guys too!
Get a lactation consultant to check for a tongue tie! We had so much woe and no advice seemed to work (despite turning up to numerous breastfeeding support drop ins) but if there’s a physical problem with baby’s tongue, positioning advice only goes so far. Hope you find some answers and positions that work for you.
It turns out it WAS one weird trick! 6am I was literally crying as she latched on, and at 10.30 the breastfeeding nurse corrected my latch and I’ve been pain-free all day. OH MY ACTUAL GOD.
Good luck to you – hope your little one learns the right way of doing it soon!
I just hate that all the bra-fitting evangelists evidently think that no women have broad chests/ribcages. The automatic response to anyone saying they wear above a 34 band size is just like, shock and horror – there’s no way, it must be wrong!! No, I did all your crazy math and I do indeed wear a 36/38 band, thanks for making me feel shitty about it!
Grump.
I’m a 40C. Bali and Olga make decent bras in my size. They’re not perfect. But it’s not too bad.
Don’t let anyone tit-shame you 😉
Remember you grew those glorious girls all by yourself, they are yours, and they deserve love & respect, just like the rest of you. 🙂
I really love my Elomi bras and I wear a 38F.
yes yes yes Elomi 4eva!!!
(ps, I search “elomi 38hh” pretty regularly on ebay and get mine for about half of list price)
As a lady who wears 38/40F, I am right there with you. Though I did have a moment of sad when I realized size had forever banished me from the Land of Plentiful Cute Bras.
Not to mention the land of cheap bras…
Have you looked at bras from Cleo or Freya? They’re fairly affordable, especially if you buy last season’s styles on eBay, and are almost a little too cute (think Russian nesting doll prints and way too many birds).
“Too many birds” is like my ultimate sartorial goal.
I’ve looked, but haven’t bought yet, since ugh, bras are /expensive/ and I just bought a bunch from Lane Bryant when they were on sale (when I found out that HEY GUESS WHAT I’m an F now looooolz). I’m definitely going to be looking into it, though- these do the job, but are very clearly not shaped for me.
Right there with you. I’m apparently a barrel chested freak of nature, based on the responses I get.
Team Barrel Chested Freak of Nature.
If I’ve been climbing a lot lately I’m 36AAA which, lol, I will never ever find. If I’ve been slacking I’m 34AA which is somehow also impossible. Need to hit up Aerie one of these days because apparently they believe AA is a real cup size.
Southeast Asian Retailers Baby. I don’t have any proper addresses or names, but Chinese, Japanese and Korean online clothing stores will carry the teeny tiny stuff we/you/I need. Good Luck.
AND and and and they are super cute in that frilly lacy kind of way and will also be padded out to hell and back (so you might be a AAA, but you’ll /look/ like a C). Seriously, I was SO SAD in China because I saw all these cute bras that I would never be able to wear in a million years.
Yeaaahhh. I’m on team too much sports, and bras are my nemesis.
True & Co, which promises the most perfectly-fitting bras in the world, offers almost nothing above a 36. Thanks, guys.
One of my friends just sent me a coupon from them and I was all “Thanks for the thought, but….yeah, no. This is never gonna work.”
yeah, I’ve always had small boobs even as I’ve gained weight and now I’m something like a 38B… except my right boob is more of an A and the left is halfway between B and C.
I’ve had saleswomen insist that I MUST be a 38C because it doesn’t make sense otherwise, and then I show them how there’s not just enough room on the right side for stuffing a few dollar bills and an id but also the contents of an entire purse. “oh, wow, your boobs really are different sizes!” – some suggest padding to fill in the small one, but it’s usually way too hot/humid to even consider padded bras.
38B is really hard to find, though. I make do with 36B/C (depending on the cut) but the spacing is usually better on the 38s.
“38B is really hard to find, though”
Tell me about it! But I did find a lovely and comfortable one by Le Mystere, and was lucky enough to happen on a Hanro on sale at Garnet Hill. So don’t give up!
For anyone who is beyond Shock Absorber’s size range, going to give a shoutout to Enell sports bras. Fucking amazing.
I’m 36G and Panache is my go-to for sports bras. Cost a fortune, but no bounce. I also love their reg bras for extended cup sizes. Also, bathing suits. Why aren’t all bathing suits fit by bra size?
I juuuuuuuust bought a Panache bathing suit top (going to Brazil for Thanksgiving HECK YEAH) and it is the best! I have not tested it in actual water yet but it’s super cute and at least FEELS very secure.
I am a 35 bust with a cup size between an A and a B, the dream is dead for me.
All I can say is that if you felt like journeying to Marion’s Lingerie in Plainville, CT, they have a ~nearly~ B size that rocked my little high school age world back in the day. I would not put it past them to also carry odd band sizes!
I have one outrageously specific suggestion for an in-between cup size option- the b.tempt’d La Parisienne push-up has removable push-up pads that are almost a perfect 1/2 cup size. I keep wishing b.tempt’d would make more bras with the removable pads because the one that I yanked the pads out of is seriously my magical unicorn bra, but there are only so many brightly colored extremely lacy bras I need in my heavily t-shirt based wardrobe.
I’ve been wearing the same four bras since freshman or sophomore year of college( I don’t even remember any more), and there’s been some weight fluctuation and redistribution since then. Probably I should go get fitted, but I’m afraid they’ll tell me I need a smaller band (I’ve tried; it hurts my ribs) and a larger cup (lol no; not enough boob) and underwire (tried that, too; removed them with a nail clipper after one day).
But it might be an interesting experience. Also I am an adult and can say things like “I don’t care if it technically fits; it’s uncomfortable and I won’t wear it.”
If it’s uncomfortable, it does NOT technically fit and you need to find new boob witches. Go for the fitting! Whether or not you buy anything, it’s a great treat every woman deserves (who wants one).
“boob witches” I like that.
A friend of mine recommended a place that does fittings by appointment only. I might as well go super fancy if I’m doing this.
I freely admit I stole “boob witches” from another thread in this post.
DO IT! Don’t skimp or cheat yourself for the fitting experience. And don’t feel pressured to buy a lot, if you don’t want to. But the unfortunate thing is that your “true size” may not translate across brands. :/ But you can talk to the boob witches about that.
Eh, my properly-fitted bras are still uncomfortable, because… bras are kind of uncomfortable. They’re WAY LESS uncomfortable than the ill-fitting bras I used to wear, but they’re definitely not as comfortable (for me) as being braless most of the time. But, you know, I could say the same for pants — I would rather be pantsless than wearing even the best-fitting pair of pants on earth — and I still have to wear them in order to meet societal standards for being “professional” or “fully-clothed” or whatever, so I will accept that bras are the same way.
Ah, okay. I guess I should have disclaimed “your mileage may vary” (that’s what YMMV means, right?). Because yeah, for me, unless I’m wearing one of those camis with built-in support (i.e., an elastic band that runs underneath the boobs), I can’t go bra-less, it drives me to distraction.
I’m the same way. I have a couple of dresses I can get away with going bra-less in, and I obviously won’t wear them to bed, but other than that, if I’m not wearing something to give me a bit of support, I’m not comfortable. I’ll slop around in my boyfriend’s shorts and paint stained shirts all day, but if I don’t at least have some kind of crop top, I will never actually relax.
But then, I also struggle to sleep without wearing (cotton) underwear, so I’m vaguely aware that I may not be 100% normal when it comes to my comfort standards.
(Last bra purchase was an Australian 18C for the record)
There’s really no need to go for an in-person fitting! If you have a tape measure (or a string and a ruler) and can manage some super basic math, there are great guides on the internet for figuring out bra size & what shape will work best. I really recommend the Reddit site (I know!) ABraThatFits.
This is an excellent resource and I second the suggestion! I actually recently used it to find a branin my real size, and the difference in comfort and posture and silhouette is just amazing.
P.S. Not to be That Person, but it’s extremely common to be in a too large band and too small cups, so you might be surprised by the cup size your boobs can actually fill. My correct size is a 38F/40DDD, and yet when I tried on bras in those band sizes with smaller cups (out of exactly the kind of “not enough boob lol” disbelief you mention) it appeared as if my boobs were too small for the cups and would never ever fill them out. This is because my boobs were too large to actually go fully inside the cups, and so only a fraction of their volume actually made it inside, while the excess bottoms and sides of my poor boobs were being smooshed underneath the wires and seaming of the cups, which also had the side effect of pushing the band away from my ribcage and making it feel way too tight. A good way to check if this is happening to you is to try on the offending bra backwards. If the band is comfortable backward but not forwards, that means you need to get a bigger cup size.
Huh. I never knew this. I must investigate.
When I was getting fitted for a bra that involved getting my naked boobs felt up by a motherly middle aged woman (truly, the only good way to do it), she told me that she once chased a woman down in the subway to give her her business card because the woman was “wearing a dress so beautiful that it was a shame that her ill-fitting bra didn’t live up to it”
That’s beautiful.
I want to say something funny, because this made me laugh so much, but instead: Does anyone have any recommendations for bras without underwire? For, like, I don’t know, C-cups maybe? I am in an endless cycle of pregnancy and nursing so who even knows what size my boobs will end up, but after 16 months living in wire-free nursing bras I CANNOT GO BACK.
Marks & Spencer have a big selection of non-wired bras. I wear their wired ones, and have them sent from the UK (free shipping!). They have really useful fitting videos and guides, too, if you’re concerned about ordering the wrong size. They’re not cheap, but have so far been of better quality than US-available bras in the same price range.
I’m not sure where you live, but in the US, Marshall’s has cheap bras in all different styles! I found an amazing non-underwire one there (I’m a 36/38 C) and am planning on wearing it until it falls apart.
Uniqlo? I love basically everything else they sell there and hoped to love their bras as well, but sadly they were all non-underwire and I couldn’t deal. It’s a Japanese company, though, so they might not have a giant range of sizes (but I’m sure C-cup is within their range).
Freya have some cute non-wired bras I think.
If you already have or know of well-made bras that are perfect except for the wires, and you’re willing to risk throwing money away if this doesn’t work out, I recommend surgically removing the wires and see what happens.
Hmm, I do have some in various sizes that will probably go in the trash otherwise, so I do believe I will do some surgical experimentation first. I’ll come at you if statues start weeping blood and cats begin whispering my name from windowsills.
Olga and Warner (esp. Warner) do really decent (pretty!) wireless bras, and if you are in the C-ish cup range there are tons to choose from.
I did this and it worked perfectly! Except for the world’s itchiest lace, but that has nothing to do with the underwire.
There’s a real opportunity for the advancement of human civilization there: somebody invent lace that doesn’t itch.
I think the people that put the lace on the Giligan O’Malley underwear at Target have gotten pretty darn close. Everyone else is tragically behind the curve.
Gossard has a fantastic non-wired bra called super smooth in sizes A-E.
True & Co has a great one. They do free home try-on, too, which is super helpful.
OMG yes. I have been wearing Bamboobies stretchy soft bamboo bras and they are super comfortable. They are technically nursing bras in that they are the shelf-y kind that you just lift up, but I think they are legit for non-nursing times too. My only complaint is that they are a little light on support for me at 32DD/F, but I think at a C they’d be just fine.
https://buybamboobies.com/
BALI makes some. I wear (I think) a 42DD, and I have to have padding or nips poke thru. I bought it at Target. Not a sports bra, more like a regular bra with the shallow V cut front. After my underwire snapped at work in an unusual place, I found these and I LOVE them. never going back
My nemesis is not the bra size (I wear 38C, a pretty common size) so much as it is the shape of the bra. Look, bra makers, some of us have boobs that are set far apart on our chests. I would love to buy your bra, but it stabs DIRECTLY into the side of the ladies! That is not a pleasant experience! Anyone know of brands or styles that minimize side-boob stabbing? I’ve had pretty good luck with Maidenform Self Expressions at Target, but I’d love to hear other options.
I HAVE THIS PROBLEM (but I have no good answer). The best-fitting bras I have are Freya and I never have that problem with them. They’re expensive, but they hold up (heh).
Panache, I specifically like Cleo by Panache. I was reading something about “wide-set breasts” was where you could fit 3 fingers between them…I can easily get 4. I see somebody else recommended Freya, and they are good too, but I found with them I have to order a smaller cup size than I do in most other brands (34G in most brands, 34E in Freya).
The online shop True&Co. claims to be able to handle this problem, because their super-complicated questionnaire also covers stuff like boob distribution, flesh distribution per boob, and tailors the results based on what complaints you make against your usual bras. An algorithm is no substitute for real flesh and blood (or starlight and wood ash, whatever you prefer) boob witches, but living in a small town this has been my best substitute.
They have pretty much no selection beyond the 32-38 A-DD range though, sadly.
Ugh, that sucks. Never mind then: True&Co., no substitute for IRL boob witches with a range of sizes at their disposal. I had assumed that they were only showing me the options that clustered around my (middle-of-the-road-ish) size, not that those were their only options.
Chantelle Hedona has worked great for me (38F) – they’re not cheap but they last for years and they have great upper boob coverage as well.
I have found Chantelle to be a decent option. It’s not perfect, but way better than the other brands I’ve tried. Also, Blush might work for you. It didn’t work for me because the cups are too shallow, but the underwire was in a good spot.
I have read that front-closing bras generally have more space between the cups. Worth a try…
Mine are super wide set and I do pretty well in Wacoal and b.tempt’d- bonus is that Dillards and Macy’s and Nordstroms carries the brands so they are easy to try on in person. My entire bra wardrobe is basically those two brands for side boob stabbing reasons. I have one Panache but it’s still kind of stabby.
ALL BRA SIZES ARE PRETTY MUCH FINE AND I PROMISE YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO OR WHERE YOU GO SOME IDIOT WILL TELL YOU YOU’RE NOT WEARING THE PROPER SIZE AS IF YOUR TITS ARE AN ELABORATE LEVER AND PULLEY SYSTEM DESIGNED BY BEN FRANKLIN, WHATEVER YOU’RE WEARING IS PRETTY MUCH FINE
THANK YOU MALLORY IT’S ALL A FUCKING LADY-SCAM.
Bras another instrument of oppression, real talk. I recently accepted three hand-me-down bras from a friend of a friend’s mother. Who cares! They were free.
What feels way more oppressive is the intense back pain (for real though!) that comes with not wearing my lovely way-too-expensive imported-from-Poland 28GG bras. I wish it was just a lady-scam. People are different! Bodies are different!
WORD! A good fitting bra is a thing, people.
Yes! I WISH it was a lady-scam. For years, I thought I was the most misshapen, weird-looking, backache-prone 36C ever (I’d gotten measured and everything as a teenager in a lingerie specialty store that wasn’t specialty enough). My boobs would sometimes slither out the bottom of the band if I was too physically active. But it turns out that I’m a 32-and-change F! It really DID change my life, in that I don’t have backaches anymore, and my migraines are pretty much halved, and it’s easier to stand up straight. The only problem is now that I’m no longer wearing an ill-fitting 36 C bra with a “Large” (ahahahaha, if that’s a “Large,” then I don’t know what I am) sports bra covering 3/4 of my tracts of land and halfheartedly smushing them flat, pretty much no woven-material shirts that fit my torso also fit my boobs, so I usually get a slight straining in the buttons and lots of oddly billowing fabric in the back. And I dislike jersey fabrics, and have no money to shop online, so I’m SOL.
Yeeeeep.
Mallory’s trolling game is on point as usual, though.
I don’t know how confident you feel with sewing, but I’ve found that even some really haphazard altering of my shirts really improves the fit. There’s tutorials online on doing it the *right* way, but I just put the clothing on inside out, pin it along the sides until the torso-billowing is tamed, and then do a double row of stitches alongside the pins.
I’m sorry for your back!
I think that the scam is that 1) they make bras that hurt people, and 2) the bras that don’t hurt people are WILDLY OVERPRICED and 3) that the industry makes terrible bras and then shames you with random statistics that don’t mean much.
I need an elaborate lever and pulley system *for* my tits, any brand recommendations?
my favorite place to get fitted is nordstrom’s, I’m a 38F, if you are also thick/big titted elomi or freya is nice, though I also have some sports bras from title nine.
There’s nothing better than finally getting a bra that fits you perfectly, then throwing it into a bonfire.
Boobs spilling out because the cup is too small, or a band size way too large it isn’t pretty much fine. Band size too large –> goes up in the back, down on the front –> No support. It’s not rocket science.
Maybe the classic sizes work fine for you, but for some of us it’s a nightmare. I wear a 28E, yet “busty” isn’t the first thing people say about me. When you’re always tucking the flesh back in the cup, or have to shorten the band size by 2in, you start thinking you’re a freak, because everybody else seems content with their B and C, and E is still is your head synonymous of boob job.
If it had been shoes no-one would make such a fuss about it. It’s like everybody’s trying to sell you shoes the wrong size because that’s what everybody wears, and you can’t have feet that big/small, can you?
This is so timely as I just noticed I’ve lost one cup size thanks to my new, bicycle-friendly country, and the magic of biology is making me notice that in the one part of my body where I actually don’t want to lose any weight. But hell if I will go into fittings and buy new bras, these are just FINE.
It’s funny because bicycle saddle fit is another thing people get super weird about and in the end it’s really mostly about “whatever works for your particular anatomy ok?”
….there is a fit?
I really had no idea.
Oh definitely, and if you ride a lot it’s worth finding a saddle that works for you. Saddles come in different widths, lengths, padding styles, with cutouts and without. But there is no one right saddle, despite the people who want everyone to get those weird ones with no nose. If you’re an avid cyclist, you may want to check around to see if any of your local shops have a saddle tryout program, where you place a deposit and get to try out a couple of different ones. Make sure you mention to your bike shop fit person if you’re having any numbness or chafing too — sometimes the saddle *position* can be off, or you might need to raise up your handlebars or raise or lower your seat.
There is indeed a fit. I spent years riding on a men’s saddle, and then I developed hips and the day I switched to a broader saddle was a great day indeed. My entire butt was supported! I didn’t have to scoot to one side or the other to get a solid base under whatever part of the pelvis bone you sit on!
I don’t know what fit problems, if any, you’re having, but there’s an anecdote for you.
This is very interesting to know. I actually don’t have problems with the fit of my saddle, even though it is a man’s bike and presumably a man’s saddle. But I loathe cycling in general and I loathe the fact that my circumstances force me to cycle everywhere in this cycle-happy country which I shall not name (yes, it is Denmark), so I try to cycle as little as possible and walk to most places.
“Your boss knocks hesitantly on your office door before walking in. You meet her eyes, and you say nothing. There is no need to.
‘I’ve noticed,’ she begins, and then falters. You place a hand under her chin.”
Mallory, I really wanted that to go in more of a Femslash Friday direction.
I think we all wanted that.
Also, honestly, when I first got truly fitted for a bra a couple years ago, I put it on the and saleslady did say, “Wow, you’ve got a great bust line!” And I know she says that to all the girls, but I DON’T CARE.
Your magic gif is magic.
Ha! When I got fitted properly for the first time, there was this one bra (the lovely and discontinued Chantelle Pearl unlined t-shirt bra, *sob*), and the saleswoman said shrewdly, “you look like you aren’t wearing a bra, but you have, like, the best boobs in the world.” SOLD. I have two four-year-old Chantelle Pearls and I will be very, very sad when they wear out.
I got something along the lines of “wow you have a great waist!” and felt GREAT since I was feeling pudgy and sweaty because I’d walked to nordstrom in 25 degree weather wearing all my layers.
My perfect fit bras betrayed me. I went to not one, not two, but three different stores for three different fittings in one goal-oriented afternoon. When all three agreed that I’m definitely a 36D, I went to Macy’s to do some trying on of things, because selection. Two hours later, I left the store with two brand spanking new bras that I was sure were going to be my bosom buddies forever. Or at least a year or so. Alas, it was not to be.
Four months later, one of them tried to stab me the sternum as I sat at my desk. I excused myself to the restroom to discover what I had feared had come to pass–the underwire had escaped its original cushiony prison, and was looking for new real estate somewhere in my ribcage. I tried various fixes I found online to patch the stabbing wire of death, but nothing held up for more than a day. One month later, its companion bra, purchased at the same time, turned on me, as well. They both went in the garbage.
I wish I could say that was the end of my sad tale, but, being on the bustier side, I have had to return to the barren wastes of less-than-perfect bras, forever adrift on an endless sea of polyester and elastane.
this may be a bizarre and crude fix to the renegade underwire problem, but i have saved several otherwise dearly beloved bras by shoving the underwire back into its cage and………. supergluing the fabric on top of it. and then using a file or sandpaper to smooth the dried superglue. but if you use just enough of that, it creates a barrier that prevents the underwire from getting through and can add months – going on a year – to the comfortable life of your bra. i’ve done this to two LOVELY wacoal numbers, one of which is to this day the best bra i have ever owned, that wacoal so GRACEFULLY DISCONTINUED ON ME >:C none of the “similar” ones are truly the same >:C
My big bra revelation came this year when I realized that even if you get fitted, all brands are different and the size you wear in the brand you got fitted in is not necessarily the size you are for other bras. But I’m a sucker for a pretty bra and can’t stick to just one brand, so I just have to do a lot of trying on bras.
I’m also pretty sure one boob is a 32G and the other is a 32GG, which doesn’t make it easier. Approximately 15 years of having boobs and I didn’t realize until this year that one was bigger than the other because I was so used to them both popping out of everything,
I had a similar revelation earlier this year when I realized that even if a bra in one brand fits you perfectly, a different bra in the same brand and size may be torture.
NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOO
I mean, the idea that cup size goes up with the band size was news to me, but for a 32A, there just aren’t that many other options in the realm of possibility. You’re not going to convince me I should be a 28 C or something.
Yeah I still think they’re selling a bill of goods. I’m a 28/30 D and I get a lot of “just go up to a 34 B, it’s the same!” It’s not the same because if I wear a B cup it divides my boobs in half on top of each other, like asexually-reproducing cells.
It’s a no win situation though bc it seems like the manufacturers just deal with me by shortening the fabric in between the cups and the hooks in the back. Which means I end up with my very stick-outy boobs squashed down to the sides and underwire in my armpits.
Someday I’m going just buy those stickers that tamp down the headlights and never wear a bra again.
LOVE this article. Truly reflects the joy and confidence that comes with wearing the right bra size!
I just don’t wear a bra. I use those little silicone pasties to keep from nipping out, but otherwise it’s freeboob all the way. What’s my true bra size? I believe it’s 34IDGAF~
My younger sister is a huge proponent of nipping out. Whenever someone expresses concern about going braless she responds, “What, are you afraid people are going to find out you have nipples?” She’s my hero.
I have a couple of dream bras that I wear when I really want some support/a particular look with a certain outfit, but mostly I just buy plain white undershirt packs designed for teen boys and wear ’em under button ups for freeboob + moderate nipple shielding. Small-chested butch life ftw!
This should be a Marvel superhero film.
Even more infuriating, you don’t even have a single bra size! My local lingerie store is a bit size-obsessed, so they check the fit of every bra you try on. As a result, I have bras in three or four different sizes. At least the store keeps records of my size in the different brands, so I can just tell them my name and they start bringing me the right sized bras.
“At least the store keeps records of my size in the different brands, so I can just tell them my name and they start bringing me the right sized bras.”
that sounds like heaven!
We had a store like that, but it closed last spring, taking with it all hope of getting a properly-fitting bra in less than three weeks (buy & return & rebuy & re-return a bunch of bras from Amazon, wail about how Amazon doesn’t carry the right bras, start buying bras from specialty bra retailers whether you have to pay shipping *both ways*, wonder if anyone would notice if you just tucked your boobs into your pants…)
this and the fucking diva cup istg
Ugh, so I went to a fancy bra shop that has (had?) it’s own reality TV show to find a strapless long line bra for my wedding. The girl measured me up & declared I was a 32DD, which made sense bc I had been wearing a 34D which is an easier-to-find sister size. So she starts bringing in the bras. And they all fit TERRIBLY. Like, I’m talking back cleavage to rival my front cleavage. When I expressed my dismay at the fit, the girl was like, Well, you are a 32DD & that bra is a 32DD so. And when I asked to try a different size, she tried to convince me that my back was SUPPOSED to look like that. I started to cry bc this was for my wedding & I am an emotional person & the girl was totally stone-hearted about it. I ended up buying these weird boob stickers that were supposed to hold my boobs up but I was too nervous & sweaty on my wedding day so they wouldn’t stick so I free-boobed it & I can totally tell in the photos bc there is a gap between my chest & the bodice where my boobs were supposed to be but they weren’t. I’ve been hesitant to have another go at fancy bra fitting ever since.
This, like, makes me want to cry and also shoot lasers out of my eyes at the mean saleslady.
This was how I felt when I got a well-fitting bra with *NO UNDERWIRE.* I felt so betrayed by the world (and Victoria’s Secret) for having worn terrible underwire-y bras all my life.
after a weeks-long saga of ordering and returning many bras, and admittedly too much money wasted on shipping fees, i found bras that were Meant To Be and it really is amazing. i would never…….. never go to a store to have them fit me, though, honestly, for so many reasons. you can measure yourself, it’s just gonna take some trial and error.
the shock that came with realizing that i was a 34DD and not a 36D (or whatever i thought i was) left me reeling and confused as to which way was up – having always felt a great degree of shame surrounding my generously-endowed figure, upping the cup size was at first horrifying……. but once i discovered BRAS THAT FIT i realized it was a small price to pay. also, that’s stupid. all boobs are good boobs and there’s nothing wrong with having more or less of them.
the TRULY infuriating thing is that not every brand is comparable, in my experience. there are some bras that i purchased and stubbornly kept where, in retrospect, i really should have ordered a 32DDD or a 32EE or an i-don’t-even-know-but-you-get-the-idea. >:C
Every single time I’ve gotten measured, I get a different result, and without fail, stores that only carry up to a DD or E will tell me,”Oh, did you know <blah blah sister sizes blah blah> and you can actually wear this with a larger band!” As it turns out, no I goddamned can’t, and all that’s going to do is piss me off when I get home and I can’t get the band tight enough.
I finally gave up a few weeks ago, after getting incensed at the idea of paying $90+ for a bra that fits (G-cup bras that aren’t full-cup moulded white or beige bras are ridiculously priced) and started making my own, which I HIGHLY recommend!
How do you get started doing that? As a 32.5 F with fantasies of becoming an expert selfish seamstress (who only sews for me), this is very relevant to my interests.
Oh, there are so many resources! They’re a little hard to find, I think a lot of people (me) are intimidated by the process, but they’re out there!
Also I just posted a whole reply and edited it and accidentally deleted it, so gimme a sec to redo it and not throw my computer out a window (obviously entirely the computer’s fault).
http://clothhabit.com/tutorials-tips/ is a great place to get general ideas/inspiration, I love that it’s heavy on the photos!
http://www.amazon.com.au/Demystifying-Fitting-Con… is a book I’ve used, in conjunction with a pattern by the same author – https://www.etsy.com/au/listing/200457826/pdf-sew… – The pattern doesn’t quite go up to my size, but the shape is great and I’ve found it pretty simple to alter from the pattern or draft to a similar shape.
http://www.bramakerssupply.com/site2009/cart/shop… – Excellent selection of fabrics and notions, with a handful of patterns as well. I haven’t tried any of the patterns, but I hear they’re pretty good? The woman who wrote the patterns/runs the store also has a Craftsy class – http://www.craftsy.com/class/sewing-bras-construc… Even without using her patterns, I lovvvvvee the class, it’s pretty in depth on various fitting conundrums.
http://boobytraps.com.au/ is also pretty good, based in Australia. Smaller selection than Bra-Maker’s Supply, but they have some fun stuff!
My best find has been Foundations Revealed – http://www.foundationsrevealed.com/articles/bra-m… They focus mostly on corsetry and vintage/historical reproductions, but the handful of articles on bra drafting are fantastic. I especially like that the band is drafted not from an underbust measurement, but from a back measurement, which I find fits way, way better than off the rack! (I’m still trying to perfect cups, but I’m getting there!)
remember the SNL man hands bra? That’s what I want – Someone should follow me around and hold these things up and also give me back massages
Me too. Some of it "grew back" (I gained 10 pounds) so I still have issues, but it was worth it.
I sit here miserably sulking in jealousy as I tug at the too tight band of my bra digging into my sides, cutting off my circulation, continuously pulling up straps that fall every 10 seconds, counting down the minutes until I can go home and take off this medieval torture device..
when… when will my day in the sun come… when will i finally be the woman in this article…. I want my boss to acknowledge my hopes and dreams, I want a string my exes at my beck and call, and most importantly I want the women i pass on the street to worship the ground I walk on! Where can i go to achieve this?!?!?
*unclasps bra* ahhhh ok thats better
Why does the U.S. hate small-framed women? Did someone decree on high THOUGH SHALT BE A 32? I finally found a specialty shop today that carries 30D (which they are altering down to a 29.5).