Either you understand why Channing Tatum is perfection or you do not. If you do not, I am not sure what to say to you.
Channing can ascend my Jupiter.
Channing can magic my Mike.
Channing can step up. My body is ready.
Channing can jump my street.
Channing can catch my fox.
Channing can retaliate all over me.
Channing can rise my cobra.
Channing can make me fly like an eagle.
Channing can recognize my saint.
Channing can coach my Carter.
This is not thirst. This is way more real. I want to be his pants. I want to cling, lovingly to every inch of him as we move throughout life. Thank you for listening.
Tags: channing tatum, dat neck, dem thighs, perfect man
Petition for Warner Bros to invite Roxane to the premiere of this movie because that is an article I need to read.
Edith Zimmerman Interviews Chris Evans for a new generation. <3
He’s just as sexy welding as he is dancing, a rare talent in a man.
His face looks like a potato. He is Channing Potatum.
Who cares about his face; have you seen his torso?
Wake me from my cryostasis when scientists have figured a way to graft Channing Tatum’s torso to every other part of Channing Tatum.
It does. But he’s grown on me. I blame Jump Street.
Yeah, I both love him AND think he looks like a potato.
My friends and I call him Channing Sweet Potatum.
Whatever, potatoes are sexy and delicious.
Channing Tater
Over on movie review site, Pajiba, he’s known only as Charming Potato.
Meanwhile poor Joe Manganiello (sp?) is trying to dance while having a terrible case of crotch itch.
I’m so excited for Jupiter Ascending. I believe it will be this decade’s Chronicles of Riddick: that is, flawless and helmed by an animate, lovable beefcake.
I’m trying to convince my friends to come see it with me this weekend- if not, I’m going myself, I want to see it that badly. (WOLF EARS. SEAN BEAN IS A BEE PERSON.)
SEAN BEAN IS A BEE PERSON WHAT? WHY DIDN’T I KNOW ABOUT THIS?!?! NO ONE EVEN TOLD ME HE WAS IN THAT MOVIE! *reprioritizes life*
“animate, lovable beefcake” is the best description of my boo Vin Diesel I have ever read. I just think he hangs the moon.
I was sold instantly on the trailer, when Channing Tatum said sadly to Mila Kunis “you would be better off with a dog than with me” and Mila Kunis replies, in the most earnest, breathy voice possible, “I love dogs! I’ve ALWAYS loved dogs!”
Shine on Wachowskis, you crazy diamonds.
I still literally have no idea what this movie is about. I’ve watched a trailer but nothing. Something about space and maybe princesses or something?. However I am totally planning on going solely to watch Eddie Redmayne gesture in ridiculous but awesome outfits of villainy.
It’ll be worth it.
I’m much more of a Robert Pattinson, circa first Twilight movie, kind of a girl but I get it. Something happened to my brain (and my pants) when the Pattz walked into the cafeteria with lipstick, lots of gel and face powder, that tight t-shirt and stupid leather wrist thing. Something serious happened to me then. So, I’m excited that this is a place to reveal/relish our particular movie star crushes. Beautiful tapestry!
It’s like dog people vs. cat people. Channing Tatum is clearly a golden retriever.
Excuse me, Chris Evans is a golden retriever. Channing Tatum is a bull terrier.
Chris Evans – Golden Retriever
Channing Tatum – Yellow Lab
Chris Pratt – goofiest mutt in existence.
A VERY IMPORTANT thought experiment.
nono Chris Hemsworth is a golden retriever!
I’m trying to think of more cats (we need more cats!). Umm, Ewan McGregor? Ooooh, crap, Bendypants Cumbersnatch?
I’m pretty sure Benadryl Cucumberpatch is some kind of strange reptile, not a mammal, but that might just be me.
Tom Hiddleston is definitely a cat though.
I thought Benny Crumbles was an otter? http://redscharlach.tumblr.com/post/19565284869/o…
Butawhiteguy Cantbekhan is a lizard. 😉 Poor lizards.
Leonardo DiCaprio is definitely a very, very fluffy Persian. Gray. Preening. Collar, no bells.
Liam Neeson is the feral tabby who eats the food you leave on your porch for him and sometimes, sometimes will rub up against your legs before disappearing into the woods. Harrison Ford is also this cat.
Samuel L. Jackson is the tawny housecat that plops in your lap, demanding to be petted–and then bites your hand at the precise moment that he’s decided he’s had enough.
This is everything.
Morgan Freeman is also a cat. An old, regal Russian blue.
David Tennant, especially in his role as Casanova.
this is as good a place as any to post the video of Channing Tatum doing “Dirty Dancing” with his dog. CUTIE PIES. http://youtu.be/o5N3uJP79Cw
YES
I’m a cat person, but apparently I like the human equivalent of dogs WAY better.
I’m on day two of a horrible case of the flu, but I couldn’t not contribute this.
Because yesssssssssssssssssssssss
This scene is everything.
Where’s that from?
22 Jump Street.
God, I love these movies.
(Feel better soon CleverManka!)
I used to want to hate Channing Tatum, but he is such a goddamn delightful human being that I have accepted that he is genuinely wonderful. Especially in 21/22 Jump Street. He is a comedic genius.
If you can’t love a guy who parodies Van Damme’s truck split commercial, who can you love? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Vj0ugEI0dg
I did a BRILLIANT series of tweets about Channing Tatum following contouring tutorials on YouTube on and fluffing taupe powder all over his neck so it didn’t overpower the rest of his bod and no-one got on board with it because everyone who follows me is a philistine.
Channing can down my white house.
What is your twitter? I just have a bunch of (justifiable) crickets following mine. I would like to get on board things like that, though.
@flossieraptor. Yay, Toastie followers.
For some reason, “recognize my saint” is sounding the most dirty to me…
I am giggling like a very mature 13 year old over this movie.
Thanks be to God. *bows head*
brb pregnant
Hey guys remember CHALMANZO TATER? I sure do: https://twitter.com/jiatolentino/status/331934389…
I literally think about this and laugh every time Channing Tatum comes up.
I just max-volume laughed for a full minute alone in my house because of that. Thank you.
No, no, Roxane, thank YOU.
*hearts for eyes, inappropriate feelings at work*
No, the words “Magic Mike XXL Pipeline” went through YOUR heads.
That trailer is making me laugh with the purest joy. It’s like a wellspring just bubbled up in my soul.
“Magic. Magic MIKE.” i can’t you guys I am going to walk into the rippling plains of his abs and nevermore return
Same, like, I’ve never been happier or more entertained in my life than I am right now at this exact moment. God bless, ya Chalmanzo.
“Recognize my saint” sounds dirtier and kinkier and hotter than all the 50 Shades books combined.
I want to die and come back as Channing’s boxer briefs.
I didn’t “get” Channing Tatum until I had a cuddle dream about him. I totally understand now!
Ohmagaw I love the beginning – the whole “I don’t want to strip anymore, I just want to make custom furniture” crap is done. It’s okay, Channing, stripping empowers you! We definitely don’t judge! Please keep taking off your clothes!
We don’t mind if you stay up until 3 am!
The only feelings I have toward Channing Tatum (once I ascertained who he was) are slight antipathy toward him as a specific person, and a generalized sort of misandry toward him as a man.
I am, however, delighted to note that he serves a purpose for some women.
He accepts his place as a recipient of the female gaze.
The only feelings I have toward Channing Tatum (once I ascertained who he was) are slight antipathy toward him as a specific person, and a generalized sort of misandry toward him as a man.
I am, however, delighted to note that he serves a purpose for some women.
When it comes to Channing Tatum, I feel kind of like the chemistry teacher in 21 Jump Street. I am a smart professional woman, but good god I cannot resist.
you forgot: #datass