“Oh heck, they published what The Rock eats every day? SWEET. I’m gonna eat everything the Rock eats, fill my body with some mighty power, lift some cars up.”
DWAYNE JOHNSON’S DIET
MEAL 1
10 oz cod
2 whole eggs
2 cups oatmeal
HOLY CROW, The Rock starts his day with fish and oatmeal? I’m tappin’ out, man, I’m tappin’ out. I am OUTTA here.
ok what else we got here though
MEAL 2
8 oz cod
12 oz sweet potato
1 cup veggies
DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON YOU JUST HAD A WHOLE THING OF COD A MINUTE AGO HOW MANY CODS HAVE YOU GOT STUFFED UP IN YOUR FRIDGE MY MAN?? I MEAN
MEAL 3
8 oz chicken
2 cups white rice
1 cup veggies
all right all right all right here we go, this is what I was expecting, this is some Dad Shit right here, this is some “we can stop at Boston Market tonight but you canNOT get macaroni and cheese and I am only taking a bite out of the cornbread and throwing the rest away right after so I don’t get tempted to root through the bag later” real times, this is the kind of stuff dudes who have Scandinavian-sounding usernames post about on bodybuilding forums before they get into fights about which food scale is the most weighty or whatever, good on ya
MEAL 4
8 oz cod
2 cups rice
1 cup veggies
1 tbsp fish oil
MR. THE ROCK I DO NOT KNOW HOW BIG A COD GETS BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO BE PUTTING AWAY LIKE A GOOD THREE-QUARTERS OF AN ENTIRE COD AWAY PER DIEM MY SIR, AND ALSO WHERE IS THIS FISH OIL COMING INTO YOU FROM AT?? IS YOUR PERSONAL TRAINER LIKE ZERO CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR MERCURY LEVELS BECAUSE I AM WORRIED ENOUGH TO START GOOGLING “AVERAGE COD SIZE” AND I AM GOING TO WRITE YOU A LETTER ONCE I LEARN SOME STUFF OUT
ALSO I DON’T WANNA GET TOO PERSONAL BUT YOUR FARTS MUST BE OUTRAGEOUS SIR
MEAL 5
8 oz steak
12 oz baked potato
spinach salad
you ever eat just like a piece of fruit my lad?? it’s good as hell, it’s what happens to flowers if you leave ‘em alone for long enough, don’t let me tell you what to do though, you clearly have your house in order, just a suggestion
MEAL 6
10 oz cod
2 cups rice
salad
GODDAMMIT DWAYNE DO YOU LIVE INSIDE JOHN STEINBECK’S CANNERY ROW
MEAL 7
30 grams casein protein
10 egg-white omelet
1 cup veggies (onions, peppers, mushrooms)
1 tbsp omega-3 fish oil
what are you gonna do with all those yolks, my sir?? have you got like a big bucket of hollandaise dressing you keep in your walk-in fridge (I KNOW YOU HAVE A WALK-IN FRIDGE BECAUSE WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU KEEP ALL THOSE CODS)? you make a lot of avgolemono for your Greek Orthodox friends?? dang! dang! dang it right up! this is Gaston level territory we are wading into! Why won’t you just throw out the protein dust and eat the dang yolks? yolks give you a shiny, glossy coat according to dog food bags. that’s gotta translate into human use somehow
NOTES:
► “I do cardio 4–5 a.m., then take 4–6 scoops of Optimum’s Amino Energy.”
► “After cardio I eat breakfast [Meal no. 1].”
► “After breakfast I hit the iron for 90 minutes.”
► “Post-workout I have 60 grams Optimum Nutrition’s Platinum Hydrowhey with 15 grams of glutamine.”
► “Thirty minutes later I consume 32 oz of Gatorade.”
i got nothing left to say at you, my man, I gotta lay down on the floor for a real quick minute, please continue doing you until you can no longer do it
Egg yokes are great for one’s skin. How else do you think he keeps his marvelous complexion?
So. Much. Cod.
KNEEL BEFORE COD!!
why
why cod
WHY SO MUCH COD
has Mr. The Rock spouted gills? Does he sleep nestled gently in a bed of crushed ice and seaweed? you know what even if he doesn’t I’m going to say he does. SO MUCH COD.
I don’t wanna get too “alarmist” or “out there” but has anyone ever seen The Rock and Poseidon, Emperor of the Sea, in the same rocky subterranean grotto
If you start to google “Why does the Rock eat so much”, it offers the completion option “Why does the Rock eat so much cod?” but it doesn’t ANSWER THE GODDAMNED QUESTION. Also, we need to start using his full and proper name. He is the only man who deserves to be called by both his given name and his nickname at all times.
He HATES eastern Canada. “What happened to Atlantic Cod?” THE ROCK HAPPENED. He won’t be happy until Nova Scotia is dead, dead, dead.
“Will the cod come back, or will we have to move to Toronto?”
“Well, we just got another order from Dwayne Johnson, so…”
The Rock’s dad, Rocky Johnson, is actually from Nova Scotia. From my crappy little town, in fact. He was the only person there with anything resembling muscle development, so he had to go.
Now his son has come into his own to exact his revenge on the wet, windy little province and its hapless cod population…
I’m hoping he uses that pasteurized egg-whites-in-a-carton that you see at cafeterias where they cook omelettes to order, because I’m thinking about the process of separating 10 eggs and it makes me want to cry. I don’t mind separating a couple eggs for cookies or something, but the thought of separating TEN EGGS is outrageous.
I wonder how big a 10-egg-white omelette is. I make huge four-egg-omelettes sometimes and they’re ENORMOUS.
Have you seen the water bottle trick? Or the yolk removers they sell at places like Bed Bath and Beyond, the finest store in all the land? They both make separating eggs crazy easy.
But your shell-breaking game still needs to be on point. I can imagine that, after like five eggs, I’m going to start getting lazy and break a yolk or two before I have a chance to separate them.
I used to work in bakeries and separated 50-100 eggs a day regularly. You start out separating them with the shell (or cracking one handed into your other hand to strain away the white) but once you have a nice amount of whites you can just crack the eggs into the whites and fish out the yolks with your hands. It’s really cold if the eggs are refrigerated, but with practice you get really fast at it.
I had a body builder roommate who made 12-egg-white omelette and it stank like the dead marshes of Middle Earth 3 times a day. Not to mention the 5lbs of chicken he consumed in a day (at least it smelled good).
A 10-egg omelette is about the same size as a 6-7 whole-egg omelette. I’ve made a couple before, but it usually wants more room than my griddle can spare, so I have two cook it in batches.
But…how is the cod prepared? Fish tacos? Steamed miserably over plain water? Coated in egg whites and creatine? Does he unhinge his jaw and swallow it whole?
wait, wait, it all makes sense now- he goes out into a river behind his gym and catches them like a bear.
I also have some questions about the oatmeal. Is that 2 cups before cooking? Because that’s a lot of oatmeal to choke down before you’ve even caught your first cod of the day.
this made me giggle a lot
Maybe he IS a bear. It would explain a lot, like how much I want to hug him even though I know I’d be crushed.
Indisputable proof!
I’m pretty sure swallowed whole and I feel the same way about “two whole eggs”.
I imagine it’s all like that scene from The Rescuers Down Under where Joanna the lizard eats all of George C. Scott’s eggs.
Fistbump for The Rescuers Down Under reference. (I was unhealthily obsessed with that movie as a child.)
I would be wholly pleased if The Toast changed its tagline to: “A willing foe, and sea room, and everyday coverage of The Rock.”
“Now with extra sea room, as The Rock has eaten all the cod.”
two and a quarter pounds of fish every day is
too much fish
yes, but is it Too Much Tuna?
this is why there is an issue with cod overfishing, IT IS ALL THE ROCK
I would like a GIF of Dwayne The Rock Johnson spinning two cods to death in each hand, roaring and shirtless. Or a painting.
The economic well-being of Newfoundland rests on Dwayne The Rock Johnson’s broad, tattooed shoulders.
I am genuinely curious about why cod is superior to other fish. I was really expecting him to mix it up with some salmon or flounder or tuna fish salad or something, but no: cod.
it’s got a really high protein-to-calorie ratio. it’s also super high in omega 3.
(i say this as an amateur health enthusiast who does her best to squeeze as much protein as possible out of a set amount of calories while not also letting her macronutrients get to out of whack. i actually have a 5# bag of cod fillets in my freezer right now.)
i can’t imagine eating 2# a day every damn day, though. i have to mix it up. then again, it’s not my JOB to be as big and buff and amazing as possible.
I am so full of unironic joy that you knew the answer to this question, and that everywhere on this thread people are looking up cod sizes and parasites and mercury levels and different fisheries.
Cod education for all, sponsored by The Rock.
(The text on the sign reads, “We apologize for the inconvenience we are out of our PREMIUM FISH COD for the season.. Thanks Management.”)
DAMN YOU, THE ROCK.
I mixed up the two numbers in the final bullet point the first time I read it and was convinced that The Rock uses a thirty-two minute interval to time his Gatorade consumption post-post-workout.
Good morning, everyone.
It’s getting harder and harder for me to believe that I could financially sustain having my own pet Rock.
Framing this comment, putting it on my wall.
Oh, but what a glorious way to go broke! 😉
This comment is everything I didn’t know I needed this morning.
I believe you mean your own pet Mr. The Rock. Have some respect.
You, you, you deserve the best day anyone has ever had today. Just…have an excellent day.
OK I started out thinking this was not enough food, but then SEVEN MEALS LATER. Damn, son. What time does he get up? I’m not up enough hours some days to eat more than 2 meals.
Like 4:30 a.m.! I highly recommend following him on Instagram; every day his pictures and captions enrich my life, as egg yolks enrich dog fur.
Yesterday I read something that was like “following complete strangers on Instagram and obsessing over their perfectly curated lives is the new Facebook stalking and we are gross for doing it/society is collapsing.” I was like “Haha well there’s one bad habit I don’t have!” but now, dammit, I need to follow the Rock.
Yeah, the only total strangers I follow (unless you count local businesses) are The Rock and Kiernan Shipka, but I feel fine about that because as celebrities their Instagrams are wholly tailored towards their fans, so it’s similar to following them on Twitter. I WOULD feel a little weird about following just, like, a random human who I had never met.
life is very structured when your meals all have numbers. I feel like maybe Dwayne The Rock Johnson needs to hang out with Ina Garten.
I would watch the FUCK out of that tv show.
The thing about this kind of diet — which I think no human being except a giant who works out for three hours a day lifting huge weights over his head could possibly eat — is that you need to get so much protein that you’ve sort of got no time to enjoy it or anything. Like, it’s got to be cod because cod has the cheapest fish-protein to dollar ratio, and you can’t make a sauce with it or anything because that would disrupt your numbers for calories or whatever.
It’s just like two and a quarter pounds of rendered fish protein, I can’t really imagine wanting to be huge so badly that I’d want to hork down two pounds of cod every day.
Macronutrient ratios DO NOT CARE how much cod is required.
It’s pretty much the opposite end of the female performer diet spectrum where they also have to hit exact calories and really food is just a disappointing fuel.
Yes, I would like to look like Zoe Saldana but would I be willing to give up the pleasure of tacos and netflix for weird delivered frozen meals and hours of exercise? Hell no, especially since unless I went into performing, it would have no impact on achieving what I want in life.
With this, too, I feel like it must be incredibly time-consuming. Even without preparing them in any way but steamed, seven meals a day in terms of cooking and just sitting and eating has got to take hours. I skip meals now because they take too long! How am I going to spend an hour and a half of my life every day just eating cod?
Perhaps his real passion is eating cod, and the wrestling and acting and whatnot are just to justify it.
Imagine what I could achieve in a year if I devoted the amount of time to it that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson devotes to eating cod. I could be fluent in a dead language! I could write a book! I could learn to become a cod farmer!
I was just thinking the other day about that “motivational” phrase that keeps popping up on Pinterest: “Nothing tastes as good and being fit feels,” and I’m just always dumbfounded when I see it. Have these people never eaten cheesecake or shrimp scampi or ice cream? All of those taste way better than being fit feels!
Yeah, it’s obviously nonsense because a MILLION things taste better than fit feels. That’s the whole problem!
I remember during the Olympics there was a commercial where the olympic gymnast (or something) was training and there was a voiceover where she was all, “I get up at five in the morning. I haven’t had dessert in five years. I didn’t read the book everyone’s talking about,” as signs of her amazing dedication to gymnasia.
But all I could think of is, “Oh whoah, that’s what it takes, really? Being an olympic athlete is dumb.”
I hate that so much! Just because you replaced “thin” with “fit” doesn’t mean you fixed the anorexia inspiration!
It makes even less sense with “fit” because part of being fit is usually eating a ton of food to increase those gainz.
And you can be very fit with fat on your body. Curves abounding. It is not an either or battle.
I have so many questions. Are any of these things salted or spiced, or are the sparse descriptions just because “Muscle and Fitness” readers care not for preparation? Do delicious sauces play no part in his godlike physique? Where is he getting his vitamins? Are some of the “vegetables” things other than onions, peppers, and mushrooms? Because none of those are really nutritionally dense. I get that egg yolks have fat, but they also have all the vitamins. Does he just take so many supplements? Does he get those little pre-packaged vitamin baggies from GNC? What about fiber, where does he get fiber? If he eats that much fish and no whole grains or fibrous veggies you are right on about the fart situation. Does he eat this every day or is this just a “sample menu,” and tomorrow he will eat something normal like a slice of peanut butter toast or a curry?
I was just wondering if he ever just ordered some curry or Chinese delivery or some shit, maybe eating it on the couch while watching Golden Girls reruns with all the lights off.
He does have epic cheat days (http://www.tryingfitness.com/dwayne-johnsons-cheat-meals/ or check out his IG). But I feel like curry doesn’t have to be a “cheat,” you know? Just… use some of that cod and those veggies in a nice fish curry, yeah?
Would read this fanfic.
His cheat days are legendary. Have you ever seen that picture of him with the pancakes?
Yeah, I’ve seen his cheat days, but I feel like there are a lot of healthy (and much tastier) foods not included in this diet that would not be “cheating.” Like edamame, or natural peanut butter, or farro! Instead of weird unbalanced fish binge.
Weird Unbalanced Fish Binge.
that’s the name of my Beach Boys cover band
This is an excellent album name
I had a boss who was a body-builder. If the legends I heard about the smell of the bathroom after he used it are even half true, “the fart situation” is a bit of an understatement.
Body builders are not fun people to be around, you guys. All they do is talk about their triceps and etc, and with the body shaving situation they sometimes bleed through their shirts at random times. I suppose The Rock might be an exception, though.
“they sometimes bleed through their shirts at random times”
WAX, people!! It’s bloodless!!
Are they shaving themselves with scimitars and acid? I don’t understand why bleeding through shirts is a thing.
I didn’t really understand it either. He may have just been bad at shaving.
Apparently, men sometimes get bloody nipples if they run a lot, because they don’t have sports bras to protect themselves from the chafing.
This happened to a friend of mine once when he ran a marathon, and the only thing worse than seeing the blood seep through his singlet was his profound indifference. It seems that the horrors of marathon training are even worse than I had imagined, to make bleedy-nips so mundane to him.
You lose toenails. After that, bleeding nipples might not be a thing.
*SCREAMS*
I work with a guy who’s super into health and fitness, and he frequently makes comments like ‘why would you ruin steak with marinade’ and calls everything he eats ‘clean meat’.
He also microwaves an egg and mixes it into rice for his lunch, or sometimes JUST microwaves like, a whole broccoli and eats it with a fork. These are not the people you want to be taking recipe advice from.
My husband patiently listened to me read this out loud, and then replied, “it sounds like he eats a whole cod-damn lot of fish.”
I think I’m in love with your husband.
That reminds me of how mad I am that the local seafood place here did not put up their “Oh My Cod It’s Lent” sign this year 🙁
You chose well. Congrats.
it’s the most e-fish-ient way to get all that protein
I suddenly see why you married him and congratulate you on your catch.
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.
I would humbly ask for more real-time-responses from Mallory. Please and thank you.
Anyway, I’m sure everyone looked it up themselves (because how could you not?), but your average cod weighs about 18.5 pounds, or 296 ounces. The Rock eats 36 ounces of cod per day, which means he consumes a whole cod every eight and a quarter days, or thereabouts, which is about three and a half whole cod per month, or 44 whole cod per year.
Oh my god, cod are HUGE. I’m really pleased about this for some reason.
I’m less pleased that when you google “Cod” you get 8 things about Call of Duty before anything about fish. Seems disrespectful.
Yeah, I’m always surprised at how big fish are. I always think of tuna as being small, but that’s just because they come in small cans — an adult bluefin tuna weighs like five hundred pounds.
WHAT. THAT IS HUGE.
Oh god I’m overwhelmed I need to go home and lie down and think about giant fish.
I mean WTF Tuna are basically sharks.
Yeah, and they’re predators, too! That’s another thing that I’m always surprised about because to me, large animals = herbivores (i.e., cows), but that’s only on land. In the sea…anything is possible.
“In the sea…anything is possible.”
and people wonder why i don’t like swimming in the ocean even though i grew up in florida
I also grew up in Florida and it takes a whole lot to get me in the sea. I find it terrifying. I prefer screened-in & heated pools like the Floridian I am.
I would advise you to not look at the picture of the halibut I posted below then. Fish are friggin’ GARGANTUAN.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I swear I was reading something one time and it was some idiot man bragging about how he had taken a girl on this amazing date to this sushi restaurant where the bluefin tuna was so fresh that it was killed at the tableside and then prepared, and the comments or reactions were basically WTF DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW BIG A BLUEFIN TUNA IS YOU NEED A CHAINSAW TO BEHEAD ONE
Although the image of a really classy sushi place with diners all dressed up nicely, only to be flecked with blood and bits of fish as the chef hauls a 500-pound fish in on a dolly and then prepares his chainsaw to behead it tableside, was a great one.
Hahaha I would like to think that that actually happened but they were just telling him a guppy was a bluefin tuna.
Haha!
Also the best sushi isn’t fresh off the fish, it needs to actually rest for a bit (thanks Mind of a Chef).
Tuna!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4wykeJBHdE
I really needed a visual — these tuna are apparently not quite 200 pounds:
ETA: Sorry if this upsets you! I didn’t realize your reaction was so strong when I first posted it.
Dammit, I was already hungry. TUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Spiny buttparts! THEY HAVE SPINY BUTTPARTS. LIKE SHARK MOUTHS ON THE OUTSIDE. I don’t.
This is not what I thought a tuna looked like. My world is changed. Everything seems brighter.
That picture actually really small for a Tuna. I watched a rick stein show where they had full grown tuna…. well, he’s six foot four, and he lay down and neither his feet nor his head reached either end.
tuna are very near the top of the food chain in the ocean…and are just below sharks, i believe.
eat smaller fish. it’s better for everything, especially the tuna. 😉
great options: European seabass (bronzini, branzino) , mackerel, bluefish.
At the Monterey Bay Aquarium they have a small school of tuna in one of their big tanks. The first time I saw them I was floored. They can also swim suuuper fast if they want.
Swimming with tuna: http://www.theguardian.com/travel/2012/jan/27/aus…
I pretty much assumed that cod were cute and little because they go into fish sticks. I was not expecting them to be the size of a terrier.
(I also was SHOCKED to find out that tuna are actually enormous. I thought that since they go into tiny cans they must be tiny themselves.)
Aren’t those the numbers for Atlantic cod, though? The Rock is probably eating Pacific cod, which comes from a closer and more abundant fishery.
Pacific cod “average from 5 to 10 pounds (2.3 to 4.6 kg), producing fillets that range from 16 to 32 ounces.” With two fillets to a fish, that would mean the Rock goes through ~.75 cod per day, working out to about 275 cod per year, which is something like 0.0001% of Alaska’s annual catch.
I so admire how much time people are spending on cod math in this comment section.
COD MATH.
The Toast understands the math of the cod.
Is this an “I understand the math of the cheese” comment? Because if so… I LOVE YOU.
Once he consumes the heart he will transform from The Rock to The Cod. It has been foreseen.
he is already almost more cod than man
“He is more cod than man now. His mind is twisted and fishy.”
I can’t believe I got here too late to make a Gilgamesh joke: “two-thirds cod and one-third man.”
I’ve never been more upset about not being a teacher than realizing at this moment I can’t challenge my class to a math problem based around The Rock and the average cod size.
And there are all these studies about how the cod in the N. Atlantic fisheries are getting smaller (in the 1890s, the average cod was 6 ft long, by the 1980’s the average was 2 ft.) So when people were going out and hand catching them, they were even more gigantic and scarier.
The FAO/UN estimates that a cod will yield 41-52% of its weight in fillets (the latter at the hands of “an expert filleter”, the former by machine). I would almost not be surprised if The Rock is basically feeding whole uncut fish into a blender and chugging it, but actually I would be surprised because that would be revolting.
Yeah, these estimates are rough, but the “average” weight that I used is actually the average of a range between 11 and 26 pounds, so I felt okay discarding x percentage of fishheads.
(The Rock, on the other hand, does not discard fishheads. He needs TOO MUCH COD to waste the fishheads.)
Sure, the heads are for sure making him bigger and smarter every day, and I hope he’s also lovingly frying up the guts and making bone broth from the skeletons, but I still say his fishmonger is providing him with closer to seven dozen cod per year than four: why are you trying to minimize his consumption?! (I am discounting the above suggestion that we’re talking about “pacific cod” because what even is that, that doesn’t sound like cod at all.)
seven dozen small cod, four dozen medium-sized cod, the Rock does not eat small cod
But even a 26-lb cod would only yield 208 ounces of edible fish, assuming that The Rock employes his own expert filleter to prep his fishes for him. But now I realize you are proposing that he eats them whole, like that horrifying scene in the Tin Drum where Oskar’s mother just stuffs dead fishes into her mouth, wait am I remembering that scene correctly? I don’t really want to go watch it again honestly.
Eels. She craves eel especially, but any fish. Although Oskar does say he’s so upset when he sees her eating out of a sardine can, and IIRC drinking the fish oil from it, that he drops his drum. He’s THAT upset.
I was just thinking about that chapter. It’s “Good Friday”.
Confession: I enjoy eating sardines out of the can, although I do not usually sup the fish oil.
I did look it up, actually. 🙂 But I think my numbers were different, because I took the larger number of 5-12 kilograms, and then took the number of ounces in a kilogram and with a serving size of 8 oz, found how many 8 oz servings it would take for him to eat an entire cod.
It took not one but two Sean/Shawns to craft that original Muscle & Fitness list.
does this mean The Rock has a freezer in his house exclusively for cod
The Rock’s Cod Freezer
As if there is time for them to freeze before he eats them all.
He also posted his diet while he was training for Hercules: http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/life/Jelliot/pics/…
Similar, though he seems to have swapped out cod for halibut 🙂
HALIBUT ARE THE WORLD’S MOST INTENSE FISH THOUGH
NOPE. That is TOO BIG.
Oh look it’s The Rock’s after dinner snackin’ cod
this is my favorite phrase I have read all day
Everyone is freaking out about the cod (AND RIGHTLY SO) but let’s not lose sight of the fact that this is also A LOT of veggies. The Rock may be the only human in America getting above the daily recommended serving of vegetables.
Except for the vegans…
Ten egg yolks would make a huge lake of hollandaise
Or, like, two quarts of ice cream. (I have so many egg whites in my freezer from making ice cream – even things like meringues only use up a couple of whites, and I’m not about to eat the whites alone, gross. Maybe I should send them to the Rock.)
Three cups of hollandaise, or 20 servings of ice cream
we need to set up an orphan egg white/yolk exchange with the Rock. I always have leftover whites (you can only make so many macaroons and souffles)
I always have extra whites! But I picked up a cookbook from the Polish Women Society of Boston (I think it was from the 50s) at a yard sale and let me tell you, those ladies love yolks. Literally 7/10 recipes had at least five egg yolks in them.
What were our Polish-Bostonian foremothers doing with the extra whites, I wonder?
Using them for egg white hair rinses/masks!
Sponge cake.
No you can never make enough souffles
This only uses a few, but it’s pretty much my favorite way to use egg whites. http://pastrystudio.blogspot.com/2011/05/chocolat…
Look into friands – delicious little almond cakes. The recipe I use takes 6 eggwhites to make 12 friands.
Guys I had to create an account to let you all know that clearly it cannot be a coincidence that Newfoundland is also called “The Rock” and had/has? the world’s largest cod fishery. They are all about the cod, so I don’t know it makes intuitive sense to me that the Rock would basically eat as much cod as your average Newfoundlander.
There IS meaning to the universe! Everything IS connected!
No coincidences – only Cod.
In Cod We Trust.
Codnected
His father is from Nova Scotia…
Conversation with a lifter friend
me: *sends link*
friend: lol, this is clearly designed around steroid use
me: huh, I would’ve never caught that, nor do I think that I or any Toasties really care.
…
me: so is there any connection between steroids and the extreme cod consumption?
I ASK THE QUESTIONS THAT MATTER
but IS THERE
Apparently not! My friend pinpointed the likely steroid use by the “quick absorbing starches,” the many meals, and the precise timing of his consumption of supplements.
Yeah, anyone who thinks people who look like The Rock aren’t using steroids are fooling themselves. But, as you say, I don’t think any of us really care.
Also, according to my husband’s many many many friends who do steroids, it is pretty well visible by his enormous traps. Apparently they are almost impossible to “get huge” without the assistance of Vitamin S, and also his huge forearms (same story).
And yes, anyone who looks like the Rock does steroids. Especially when his living is basically Being Huge.
Also the capped delts. Lots of andro receptors in the upper body = delts/traps explosion when you start riding the bike.
Say it ain’t so, Terry Crews!?
This makes me very concerned about Mr. The Rock’s health. 🙁
Wait! I care! For some reason it upsets me to think that The Rock does steroids!
Some actors/actresses Botox to stay commercially viable; if some use steroids to the same purpose, it only stands to reason.
THAT is a very interesting question!
I suppose the ultra-low-fat + fish oil focus could be seen as a way to offset cardiovascular/hypertensive issues associated with steroid use? Might ask doctor friends about it, I’ll post back if I get a response.
Based on all that fish, though, I think we can all agree that we really don’t want to smell what The Rock is cooking.
Hahahaha
oh that’s terrible
but I laughed. So.
Farts. He’s cooking boisterous farts.
A friend of mine, when he was an undergrad, started powerlifting. You should have seen the cooler of food he had to bring to campus every day to ensure he got enough calories. I let him stash it in my office sometimes when it was too inconvenient for him to lug around. OUTRAGEOUS.
He has since won a couple deadlifting world championships in his weight class, but wow. I mean, I love to eat, but that was just way a lot of food.
Somewhere I think there was a Chris Evans interview where he talked about how dreary eating becomes; you’re shoveling down unseasoned animal protein in quantities that your body doesn’t reeeeally want, and fueling up becomes a joyless part of work. Then filming wraps and he goes to town on ice cream and sugar and loses his hard-won gainz. This is consistent with one of my trainers’ description of prep for physique competitions: “You eat nothing but chicken breast and spinach, no salt, and your skin gets really tight.”
I love food and I’ve gotten into working out, but boy, the folks out on the far ends of the physical bell curve are basically alien.
Yep. I consider the pursuit of ultra-fit dom (of any sort, be it bodybuilding, powerlifting, or whatever) to be a form of body modification just like piercings, tattoos, tight-lacers, etc.
I read that as “body mortification”. I suppose it is that too.
Kroger sells these little containers of just some shredded chicken breast. The salads they had were all ham and fried chicken, which is great but not why I was gonna eat a salad for lunch. So I finally tried the chicken. “Crap, this IS movie training food.” I put some mustard on it which…..didn’t really help it not get stuck in my throat.
(Mind you, Publix has these nice little green salads, plan your lunch shopping accordingly)
There is a chocolate chip cookie recipe I know that calls for both whole eggs and egg yolks, so the Rock and I could exist symbiotically.
Cooks Illustrated? I love that recipe.
Maybe! It’s a work recipe. Usually, our recipes’ origin stories are “We needed a [whatever] recipe, but they were all stupid, so here it is simplified (sort of) and converted to bigger batches.
“If The Rock was your boyfriend.”
YESYESYES I NEED THIS NOW!
Oh come on you can’t just drop that without sharing the recipe.
Memory challenge! This makes a lot of cookies if you make normal-sized cookies, and still a fair few cookies if you make enormous cafe cookies.
I’m going to say it’s:
1.5 lbs butter, melted (do this first, then let it cool down a little bit)
1120 g flour
8 tsp baking powder (I know)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
(Mix these in a big bowl, set aside)
A ton of delicious sugar, I think 2 c white, 2 c (packed) brown
2 tsp vanilla? Some amount
(Now you can mix your sugars, butter, and vanilla together in an enormous bowl)
Eggs! 4 whole eggs, 4 egg yolks. Add them to sugar slurry one by one.
Start folding in the dries in about 4-5 batches.
Add about two cups of choc chips.
Portion with a scoop onto sheet pans lined with paper, Saran Wrap, freeze. Thaw for a while before baking. 350, usually 6-7 minutes, then flip the pans and another 6-7 mins. Less for normal-sized (or as we call them, “mini” cookies.)
Do you absorb fish farts? Because that would complete the symbiosis cycle. (Not sure that’s a real thing.)
We would need a third party with big long braids like Willie Nelson.
BTW, my husband and I went to Death Valley during our vacation, visited the Sailing Stones and collectively* named the coolest one we could find “Dwayne Johnson.”
This is a Dwayne Johnson tangential fact.
*we also picked up a family of four at Ubehebe crater who didn’t have a car that could drive out to the Sailing Stones, and they also agreed that this is the best name
Can we name or rename more rocks in his honor? Dwayne Johnson of Gibraltar. Plymouth Dwayne Johnson. The Blarney Dwayne Johnson. Ayer’s Dwayne Johnson.
I am named after a rock, and fully support renaming it The Dwayne Johnson.
Please, oh please, do a real-time commentary of his cheat days next.
I mean, MY farts are outrageous and I only eat like one dish of Trader Joe’s Bachelor Chow cod per WEEK.
Bachelor chow!!
Now with FLAVOR!
I know from experience that raw egg is excellent for dog’s coats. I do not know from experience how it is for the Rock. Do you think he would let me conduct an experiment? I need to examine him FOR SCIENCE.
OH MY COD THAT IS TOO MUCH
BOO.
(*like*)
I suspect he is actualy a selkie man. That explains the fish. And the sexiness.
That was my first thought too, selkie or merman.
Although your username gives me the impression you just go around Toast posts and call out people as secretly being a selkie.
Whaddaya know….fucker’s an Uruk Hai hobbit.
That’s why there’s the Harvard Protocol. So you don’t get smart sharks and giant hobbits. Damn you, Christopher Lee and Saffron Burrows!
When the only thing you eat is fish, why would you even ask us if we can smell what The Rock is cooking? Of course we can.
There are not enough thumbs up for this comment. I had to put my phone down and leave the room to get my breath back!
Someone must have taught the Rock how to fish
Remember those celeb diet posts on The Cut where Rebecca Harrington would eat like Beyonce or Greta Garbo for a week and report back, and then you’d learn that Beyonce’s diet is boring but sensible and Garbo’s life was unending misery? I’d love to read one where she ate like The Rock for a week but I can’t see that being physically possible unless she’s secretly three writers in a trenchcoat.
i never had the pleasure, so I went and read some of them and now I can’t stop cackling, like a diet witch. Pumpkin spice lattes! Curdled tofu! “It’s difficult, actually. Essentially you hold tiny weights in your hand and then flap your arms wildly like a person in a Victorian insane asylum having an epileptic fit. You do this for an hour. At the end, I was so tired I lay on the floor.”
Rebecca Adultwoman.
Thanks for mentioning this! I’m having a great time reading those. (Especially the horrid Greta Garbo diet).
Oh my god THE CELERY LOAF
I’m not sure why on top of all that cod he needs to also buy TWO DIFFERENT KINDS of fish oil (regular, and omega-3).
I feel like there was a missed opportunity for a “Feast & Furious” joke here.
Look, Luke Evans, I’m sure u r real nice and I wish u well in all your endeavors, but WHY is The Rock not playing Gaston in the new Beauty and the Beast this was a real missed opportunity for massive egg consumption and one-eyebrow-arching in song, Disney, and you really missed the boat (dropped the cod?) with this one.
“Dropped the cod” is henceforth added to the lexicon.
only The Rock could do justice to the “roughly the size of a BARGEEE” growing shot
OMG he’s ACTUALLY just signed on to play a part in the upcoming Disney/Pixar film MOANA which is a) awesome (if it’s done well – it’s a Pacific Islands story!) and b) might have been that he was in talks for that which precluded the B&tB role?
(I mean, to take this seriously because damn, he would have been an amazing Gaston, but also I think he doesn’t want Disney villain roles, the way he keeps showing up on kids programs being all cuddly and shit.)
I don’t understand what a lot of the words in here are. “Optimum Nutrition’s Platinum Hydrowhey with 15 grams of glutamine”?! “Hitting the iron”?! “Gatorade”?!
Gatorade is the red stuff you drink when you have the stomach flu, as far as I know. Hitting the iron is when you don’t want to be ironing anymore.
Or when you have a hangover, or are trying to prevent one. Every time I read one of those “oh, non-athletes don’t need to drink Gatorade, they don’t get dehydrated enough for it to matter,” I’m like, my Saturday night says different, yo.
HITTING THE IRON OMG I’M DYING
My dad thinks Gatorade cures emotion.
Cod is great, scrod is good.
So, this more than thoroughly answers the iconic question, “Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?” I am afraid I quite well can now.
Also, this is effectively the worst “If [Likable Celebrity] Was Your Boyfriend” of ALL TIME.
I’m never going to be huge, I could never eat like that, but it makes me happy that someone at muscle and fitness decided to go with the “smell what the rock is cooking” headline. God is in his heaven and all is right with the world.
How on earth did I miss “Cod is in his heaven.”?
I’m going to pat my soft belly and remind myself that this is the belly delicious brownies and other things made with egg yolks built. And no cod.
And I am happy with this belly.
who knew the rock was a hobbit who likes to fish?
Power Athlete’s food breakdown for the Rock was better: http://powerathletehq.com/2013/06/27/the-rocks-me…
All right, who saw the Rock at Wrestlemania and was really really happy that he didn’t follow the general trend of terrible gendered insults against Stephanie McMahon*? And then he went and got Chekov’s MMA fighter out of the audience. (I was hoping it would be his mom. His mom was RIGHT THERE, wouldn’t that have been amazing?)
*He did say that her fallopian tubes were going to be ripped out via her mouth, but I choose to think that was a very clever Vito Barberi dig.
I would say they should cast The Rock as Gaston in the new movie, but then Belle would happily accept his proposal.
The Rock’s cheat days are legendary. http://a.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=/photo/2012/1…
Reminds me of the Thanksgiving episode of Brooklyn Nine Nine where the fridge goes out and Terry starts handing all of his spoiled food to Boyle.
Seriously though, how does one measure ‘a cup’ of veggies? Do you just cram all your broccoli and carrots into a cup and call it good? Do you chop them first? How finely? Is a scale involved? HOW DOES IT WORK
A cup is like, roughly a handful. Size of your palm
But, a The Rock-sized palm? Because…
The Rock is so endearing and cheeky in his hyper-masculinity that it’s impossible not to like him. He’s the male equivalent of Jayne Mansfield. Or Dolly Parton.
Dude, him and Vin Diesel. So delightfully performative.
I also grew up in Florida and it takes a whole lot to get me in the sea. I find it terrifying. I prefer screened-in & heated pools like the Floridian I am.
A cup is like, roughly a handful. Size of your palm
I laughed so hard I cried. Why cod? No salmon? A lot of elite athletes eat the same thing every day, I get that. I like fish but the thought of eating that much cod in one day makes me gag just thinking about it.
This is probably the best time to point out that lemon/lime/passionfruit curd is made with more egg yolks than whites.
Also, the secret to curd not getting the little bits of egg white is: Cream the butter/sugar/eggs together, at room temperature, until they’re completely blended. Then add all the juice/pulp, still off the heat, and mix again– it’ll look really curdled, but it’s fine. Then and only then put it on the stove and heat it SLOWLY. When it’s thickened, then add zest, if it needs it, and probably more butter.
This post was so shocking it sent me hurtling towards a handful of Cadbury Mini Eggs.
OH NO poor friend!!!
I once pooped out a whole cod.
Then The Rock swooped by and ate it. He was like, “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO a cod, oh my lawd, oh my god, it’s a cod!”
It was quite amusing. He also stole my pajamas.
Hello Cod, it’s me, Margaret
Someone did say codpiece, right? I didn’t have the heart to read every comment.
guys i just found something that is really very important to this conversation. I reset my password and everything to bring it to you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK9rodJlMuY
That boy can eat!
I’m just going to go ahead and leave this here 🙂
https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-YxvNV2oODAA/VS…
This is per DAY? Like, EACH DAY he has SEVEN meals? How? How does a body fit seven meals – and meals like THAT – into itself in a single day? How is that even physically possible? How does your stomach have time to process all that food? Does he do anything other than eat and work out? So many questions…
I smelled what the rock was cooking. It smelled like fish.
I have never enjoyed the comments section of any article as much as I’ve enjoyed this.
I strongly support the inference that The Rock is catching all his own cod, bear-like, but I ALSO like to imagine that, somewhere, there is a man trying to pick up ladies with the line “Oh what do I do? I’m The Rock’s *personal fishmonger*. [leans in closer to whisper] He LIVES on cod.”
I have to leave a comment because I laughed so hard I cried and then I had to share the article with everyone around me as they were wondering what the hell was wrong with me.
This is great to know. That’s my diet, except I only consume about half that.
Does this make him a cod piece? also, this is a week’s worth of food for me.
Hide your wife, hide your (cod) children.
literally crying tears after reading these comments. so much cod.
This was something great to wake up to this morning. Reading all the comments. I do not know if I could live with a man that consumes that much cod……
My god! Is that PER DAY? He is obviously part seal or walrus.
You are my hero.
In Cod we trust.
based cod
Those are the two most horrifying paragraphs I have read or ever will read.
never knew there was an actual website where white women go to practice their ghetto-voce. how incredibly odd…and disturbing.
Oh man, I absolutely was not attempting to parrot or parody AAVE in any way here. I hope very much that there aren’t aspects of AAVE that I DID parrot or appropriate in this piece. I haven’t gotten any feedback to that effect but if there’s a passage or a phrase in particular that stands out as appropriative, please feel free to get in touch with me ([email protected]). I realize that I may have blind spots here and am not capable of seeing where what I thought of as “playing with sentence structure” is rooted in African American Vernacular English; that’s not something I want to do and that’s not a style I want to appropriate.
I cod tonight honey, I’ve got a haddock.
I cod tonight honey, I've got a haddock.
I had a dream last night that I was somewhere, perhaps a film set or a castle, and suddenly came upon The Rock eating exactly what is listed above. We knew each other previously, so carried on a polite conversation as I slowly pulled my phone from my pocket and pretended to respond to emails while surreptitiously attempting to take a photograph of the meal so that I could post them in this thread and become Toast Famous, if only for a moment. For whatever reason, though, I could take pictures of EVERYTHING ELSE in the room but not The Rock’s meal. Turns out, he later confessed to me, he had a lucrative deal with the periodical that had originally published his diet (I can only assume) and they had set up a photo-blocking mechanism that ONLY blocked photos from being taken of his food.
how does this man have time to make movies? isn’t he just eating fish and pumping iron all day long?
Perhaps this is merely propaganda spread by the Rock to ensure his supply of cod is not interrupted by mere mortals.
I laughed so hard at work that people are worried about me
IS THIS WHY IT’S CALLED “ROCK COD”?!?!?!?!?!?!
A lot of fish there Mr Rock!
This continues to be one of my favorite things on the internet.
Here’s What Happened When Some Dude Ate Like The Rock For A Month
“From Feb.1 to March 1, he worked out for about 60 hours, an average of two hours per day. In total, that’s about five hours a day spent prepping food, eating food and working out.”
This article makes me laugh every time I read it!! 😂😂
I feel like there was a missed opportunity for a "Feast & Furious" joke here
I feel like there was a missed opportunity for a "Feast & Furious" joke here.
I don’t remember ever having been in tears from laughing before. As I’m writing this, my cheeks are still wet. Thanks, you made my day. I don’t even care if what you wrote is true or not. So, and now to let my midriff/diaphragm recover.
I sea* what you did there.
Okay, so I just google-imaged "2.5 pounds of cod", no reference to anything else, and I swear to god The Rock came up twice on the first page.
But…how is the cod prepared? Fish tacos? Steamed miserably over plain water? Coated in egg whites and creatine? Does he unhinge his jaw and swallow it whole
It took not one but two Sean/Shawns to craft that original Muscle & Fitness list.
great post.. i want to be like rock but not consume like rock, can i?