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the rock

Heroes

Annotating The Rock’s Inspirational Workout Video Message To The U.S. Women’s Soccer Team

by Mallory Ortberg · July 6, 2015
I love the Rock with a sexless intensity that will continue to burn long after the physical husk I inhabit has been absorbed back into the nitrogen cycle.
Food

My Real-Time Response To Learning What The Rock Eats Every Day

by Mallory Ortberg · April 3, 2015
Holy smokes holy smokes HOLY SMOKES!
Movies

I Don’t Know What We Did To Deserve This But We’re Getting A Second Hercules Movie This Year And The Rock Is In It

by Mallory Ortberg · March 27, 2014
We get not one but two Hercules movies this year.

More by Mallory Ortberg

  • Christina Rossetti’s “Goblin Market,” As I Understand It

  • Lord Byron’s “Fare Thee Well,” or “I Just Think It’s Funny How”

  • Questions I Have Asked During The Only Episode Of Doctor Who I Have Ever Seen Until My Friend Said “Okay, Mallory, Why Don’t You Write Your Questions Down And Ask Them All After We’re Done Watching?”

  • Joan Didion and Anna Wintour: Best Friends Forever

Recent

Hey Ladies: We Wrote a Book!
Christina Rossetti’s “Goblin Market,” As I Understand It
Lord Byron’s “Fare Thee Well,” or “I Just Think It’s Funny How”
Questions I Have Asked During The Only Episode Of Doctor Who I Have Ever Seen Until My Friend Said “Okay, Mallory, Why Don’t You Write Your Questions Down And Ask Them All After We’re Done Watching?”
Joan Didion and Anna Wintour: Best Friends Forever
So, How Have You Been Keeping Busy? A Post-Toast Analysis

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