“Well,” the dolls said, looking around. “Here we are.”
“Seems like a nice valley,” one of them said. “Maybe we should stay here. Make it our valley.”
And they did.
– Valley of the Dolls
“There’s something special about this river. Almost mystic.”
It really was a wonderful river.
“Let’s come back here every summer.”
And they did.
– Mystic River
“That was a wonderful dream,” she said, smiling, because of how good the dream was, that she had.
“I’m so glad,” he said. “Would you like to tell me about it?”
She did.
– Requiem For A Dream
“This doesn’t seem like any place for the two of us,” he said. “This is no country for old men.”
“Should we turn around and go home?” his friend asked.
“Yes, let’s,” he said. “I think that would be a good idea.”
And it was. They went back to the country for old men.
– No Country For Old Men
“What a beautiful melody that is,” she said after he finished at the piano. “Is there anything you can’t do?”
“Oh, plenty,” Mr. Ripley said.
“No, don’t be modest,” she said. “You’re very talented.”
“Well, maybe a little,” he said.
It was a wonderful piano recital.
– The Talented Mr. Ripley
Pheasant weren’t in season, so he went deer hunting instead. “Either way, we’ll have plenty to eat this winter.”
– The Deer Hunter
“Gosh, I feel rested,” he said as he walked in the kitchen.
– The Big Sleep
“Come over here,” he said. “Stand by me.”
It was nice to be included.
– Stand By Me
“Don’t you need the light on for that?” he asked.
“Oh, no, thank you,” she said. “I don’t mind dancing in the dark.”
– Dancer In The Dark
He really loved elephants. He loved them so much that people called him the Elephant Man. This made him enormously happy. Also, he could sleep lying down without dying, which made him even happier.
– The Elephant Man
“That’s a beautiful bird,” she said, approaching the falconer in the park. “Where’s it from?”
“Thanks,” he told her. “It’s from Malta.”
“Well,” she said, after a minute. “Bye then.”
“Take care,” he told her.
– The Maltese Falcon
“Is there another turnoff up ahead?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “This is the last exit to Brooklyn.”
“I guess we’d better exit here, then,” she said, smiling.
They did.
“Well, here we are, in Brooklyn,” she said.
There they were.
– Last Exit To Brooklyn
“How many seals is that?” she said, amazed.
“Four, five, six…” he counted. “This is incredible! What a beautiful surprise.”
“You forgot that little one over there,” she said, pointing. “The seventh seal.”
She was right. There were seven seals total in the seal family.
– The Seventh Seal
“Are you cold?” he asked.
“Yes, a little,” she said.
“Here,” he said, “have my jacket.”
“It’s so warm and heavy,” she said.
“Yes,” he agreed, “it’s a full metal jacket.”
“How comfortable this is now,” she said.
It really was nice of him to give her his jacket.
– Full Metal Jacket
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I’m pretty sure that’s what I thought Requiem for a Dream was gonna be like when I saw it in 9th grade.
That is not what it was like. I have yet to re-watch that movie. I have also never done drugs. So that worked.
I watched not long after starting college and can say it curbed what I experimented with. Not everything of course, but probably a lot.
I have owned Requiem on DVD for nine years. Still have never seen it.
I bought Requiem for a Dream on DVD and was told by a friend “you won’t be able to handle it”. I scoffed in her face and went home to watch it alone.
But she was right.
Gave the DVD away the next day.
Yeah, that was basically it. I bought it as part of a box set, was told that I should probably be in a really strong place mentally/emotionally when watching it, and I’ve just never felt stable enough to risk it. (I probably am now, but have lost all interest, so win/win?)
a good choice!
You’ll only want to watch it once, at most.
My brother, who is definitely a Man, has tried (or used to try, when we lived under the same roof) to tell me about it so many times. Dead babies and all.
He also has developed a taste for Kerouac, Thompson, et al., so I mostly just chuckle at him now.
My brother gave me, like, a binder of DVDs when I graduated high school (I don’t really know how he got all of them, he was like 15, but it was a nice gift) and it took me SO LONG to watch Requiem for a Dream. I still haven’t watched Leon the Professional or American History X or so many others of his dude movies.
…I do love Trainspotting, though, despite all the drugs and dead babies. I texted my sister the last time I watched it and was like, “You should watch it!! …Except for the… not nice things that happen to babies. And the… the many needles, and you, with your needle phobia, and. But.”
Oh man, see, I’m so dedicated to not watching these things that I mixed up Requiem for a Dream and Trainspotting.
I’m my mind they’re both creepy, gross movies that my brother was always rhapsodising over when we were teens, so they’ve become inextricably linked.
A professor tried to show us this in a philosophy class – I couldn’t leave the room fast enough. I like Mallory’s version better.
My long-distance….whatever the hell it was we were to each other….she’s got a hardier constitution for upsetting/cringeworthy things. So I was visiting her and we rented that and…..if anything romantic might’ve happened that night it wasn’t going to happen anymore. Worst Sleepover Ever. “Well….I’m going to bed” I said, having forgotten the concept of joie de vivre itself. The next day she said it was a ridiculous movie, I was still traumatized.
(On other long weekends she showed me the entirety of The Office and Freaks And Geeks, which I would’ve had a hard time viewing alone. It’s good to have friends like that)
(Also, when I finally watched “Pinocchio” a few years ago I said “Fuck, this is so Requiem For A Dream!” That movie’s a fucking nightmare.)
I was assigned to watch “Come and See,” another movie with a reputation for being seriously upsetting, for a college history class. But I didn’t know anything about it other than “It’s a WWII movie,” so naturally I invited some friends to bring over beers and have a movie night that weekend. My friends were not pleased!
I also went with a friend to see “4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days.” We knew it would be a downer but hoo boy, that was a solemn ride back from the movie theater.
The Eastern Front was a neverending cornucopia of Krazy Kooky Komedy!
I haven’t seen it but the same friend strongly recommended “Army Of Shadows” “That movie’s tough as nails!” (It is, but it’s great)
*looks up 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*
NOPE!
I was supposed to go to a screening of Dancer In The Dark to review it but I didn’t get the pass in time and….I was NOT disappointed when I found out more about the film. I’m wise to you and your misery porn, Lars!
Digger Smolken Sings https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EU6Ufu56GCA
I didn’t have any warning either! We just had to pick from a list of movies and that one was still available at the library! I imagine our professor was sitting back chuckling like “somebody’s in for a bad time.”
No one warned me about Dancer In The Dark and I am still fucking pissed about it.
Now that we have Wikipedia I can read the *entirety* of what I missed out on.
NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE.
I made it about thirty minutes into 4 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days before I just left and cried in the bathroom for a really long time and then went home.
I’ve seen it once*. It’s powerful yet horrific and depressing stuff. The fact that Ellen Burstyn lost the Oscar to Julia Roberts still raises my hackles.
The score is an all time great, though.
*In college, would have traumatized me for a longer time had I seen it in 9th grade.
i once had a sort-of boyfriend decide that Requiem for a Dream would be a good date movie. at the end i just sat there quietly and said “i’d like to go home now”
“DAMN, I thought I was in! Slam dunk!”
“You…have a dream? Would you like to…talk about it?”
“Yes I would.”
RIP Stan Freberg
I kind of thought it was brilliant, and also that I’d like to never see it again. Though I’m not sure if it was actually brilliant, or if I just thought it was because I was really upset. I think if I saw it again I might just find it deeply problematic.
The moody art bros at my college all used the Requiem soundtrack in their film projects.
That is how I feel about it! I think that is its trick. No one is capable of watching it twice, so it’s impossible to really assess it aside from your emotional response to it.
That’s how I felt after “Happiness”.
“That was good….I never want to see it again.”
WORD. My face was D: for a week after I saw “Happiness.”
I feel like it’s best if you watch it with your family.
How can that that summary of “Requiem for a dream” still be so depressing?
“Also, he could sleep lying down without dying” no i’m not crying you’re crying i have a lot of feels about that movie dammit
Also real life. It was also real life. 🙁
“Oh, look,” he said, pointing. “There’s a train.”
“I see it,” she replied.
– Trainspotting
(adds little checkmark in “My Book of Trains”)
But that IS the plot of Valley of the Dolls! Maybe add a little sobbing and running mascara and vicious hissing. But basically.
Don’t forget to add a lot more screaming, “NEELY O’HAAARRRAAAAAAA!!!!” into the night
“Momma, who is that man in the center ring?”
“That’s the leader of the Circus.”
“What’s he doing?”
“He’s helping to assemble the two towers the trapeze artists will use to swing to and from. Isn’t it exciting?”
It was.
-The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
“Well, Buzz, we finally did it. We set up an electrical grid on the Moon.”
“That’s right, Neil. These transformers we built will soon bring light to the entire lunar surface.”
-Transformers: Dark of the Moon
“Damn, it’s dark in here. I can’t see a thing, Greg. Greg? Greg?… Greg, where are you?!”
“Boo!”
-The Ghost and the Darkness
Look said Nettie, “if we mix up some red and blue together, you get purple”.
They admired their new color. Life was good now.
“That’s that then” said Nettie.
– The Color Purple
“I’ve also been experimenting with different shades of grey. You wouldn’t think that there would be that many, but I must be up to, gosh, at least fifty by now.”
“I am curious… maybe we should try, I don’t know, yellow?”*
*obscure?
Probably obscure unless you worked in a college bookstore in the late 1960s.
Or unless you hang wallpaper for a living.
Jim played the trumpet. Larry played the trombone. Marvin played the tuba, even though he didn’t look like he was big enough to carry it, but that’s what you get when you’re the youngest in the family and all the good instruments are already taken.
– Band of Brothers
“Dang, this is the 5th vending machine today and I still can’t find the candy I want,” she said.
“Well,” he said, “I’ve got some Toblerone left. Would you like it?”
“Thanks, really, but it’s just not the same.”
– Looking for Mr.Goodbar
I started reading this when I was about 9 (somewhat misled by the title, perhaps), and my dad took it away before I could finish it.
I’m still working under the assumption that it’s about a single lady who has a nice time on the dating scene, and that maybe candy is somehow involved.
1) I id not realize, until reading this post, that Mystic River and Mystic Pizza were different movies.
2) It took me until late in my life to realize Mystic Pizza was not about a pizza place with mystic qualities
3) I learned only yesterday that the Mystic River I drive by on the way to work is not the one that features mystical pizzerias, and I’m really disappointed.
I think it has always been my life’s goal to open a Mystic Pizzeria (think Practical Magic meets pizza shop), I just never knew it till now.
Pizza IS magic.
*gathers courage* I enjoyed these very much, but I much preferred the style used in the previous entry ( Novels Summarized ), in which the title was eluded to but not directly invoked. For me, it kind of made each little section its own goofy puzzle, which I enjoyed.
But this is a personal preference, and I recognize that others may not feel the same way, and I also recognize that this is your art, and I also recognize that I have no idea how I’m going to end this sentence.
“They were always happy afterwards that they had chosen the yellow wallpaper. ”
“They had a wonderful time revisiting Brideshead”
“Things fall apart sometimes.”
I’m just saying, a lot of the segments in the previous entry also did exactly that thing.
“And what do you want to be when you grow up, Travis?”
“I want to drive a cab!” he said, excitedly. And that’s exactly what he did!
-Taxi Driver
It makes me feel good to know that there is somebody out there (Mallory) who has seen even fewer movies than I have.
On a similar note, I recently looked up on Wikipedia what the hell “A Streetcar Named Desire” is actually about. It’s just about a kind of white trash-y family in New Orleans! That’s it!
All I know about Streetcar is what I learned from the Simpsons.
All I know about many things is what I learned from the Simpsons. Except baseball – I learned about baseball from Charlie Brown cartoons, and I think I have more than enough to get by on
What’s a simple paperboy to dooooooo
Can you hear me yell-a?
You’ve put me through Hell-a.
STELLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
Still one of the best Ned eps ever.
Now “Can’t You Hear Me Knocking” is in my head.
I am fine with that.
I think there’s a certain generation of people for whom that is painfully true of a lot of pop culture touchstones.
Like, it happens to me on a regular basis that I’ll see something or hear something and realise, years later, that that’s what they were talking about on the Simpsons that one time…
Hell, don’t feel bad, I was a voice minor in college and only recently learned that Porgy and Bess is set about seventy or so years later than I had originally thought. And has a drug dealer in it.
Tennessee Williams was a master of the drawing room comedy and bedroom farce.
“I couldn’t help but notice your hair. It’s decidely greyish.”
“Thank you,” said Werner Herzog.
-Grizzly Man
“Model trains!!!”
-The Passion of Joan of Arc
“That’s a darling Panama hat your schnauzer is wearing!”
“Would you believe he made it himself?”
“No!”
“It’s true. All of my dogs are preternaturally skilled in that medium.”
-Straw Dogs
Thank you.
I really appreciate the artistic choice you made in bolding “model trains.”
Now you know how Joan of Arc felt.
As the flames rose to her Roman nose and her walkman started to melt.
…I’ll show myself out.
The post and all the replies are fantastic, but it was MODEL TRAINS that made me burst out laughing in the office.
I would greatly prefer to watch your version of Joan of Arc , rather than the painfully long and boring Dreyer film.
Each is just perfect.
Have you ever listened to Paul F. Tompkins do his Werner Herzog? I can’t get enough.
I have not. Can you direct me?
Yes, in fact I can. He plays Herzog on the Comedy Bang Bang Podcast and tiny, internet custodians have listed all of his appearances here: http://comedybangbang.wikia.com/wiki/Werner_Herzo… Bless the internet! If the link doesn’t show/work you can just google “comedy bang bang podcast werner herzog” and get where you need to be.
“Wow, what a lovely valley you have here” said the traveller
“Why thankyou, we found it and it is our valley now” said one of the dolls
“Well, I have to get going, I must see the world beyond this valley”
“Good luck, and thankyou for visiting, I doubt your adventure will be strange and exploitative in any way”
– Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
You know, that’s pretty much what I was expecting when I sat down to watch The Seventh Seal the first and only time. Granted, I was probably around ten years old.
At that age, I can imagine that Max van Sydow is scarier than the grim reaper
Here’s some seals cuddling an Irishman.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoJTbfnCVkA
I wish all of Ingmar Bergman’s films were about fluffy seals.
Joe and Sam, the stay-at-home dads, sat on the park bench chatting while keeping an eye on their kids playing nearby.
“The children are really great,” said Joe.
“Yes, they’re really something,” said Sam.
It was true.
-Children of Men
Come over here,” he said. “Stand by me.”
It was nice to be included.
So, I’m just gonna sit at my desk and cry now. Because it is nice to be included, but I don’t always feel included.*
*Kinda having a rough couple of weeks, so everything makes me cry.
I send you the CleverManka gif of hugging, except I can’t do newfangled things so I will just send you the hugs, and even more hugs.
I receive *all* the hugs EllaAstor (I don’t know how to do the gifs either, so don’t feel bad)
Oh my gosh. Yes, this is the one that hit me. I’m so sorry you don’t always feel included. I feel the same way. I think a lot of people feel the same way, which is kind of comforting in a way because that means that we are in a group, even if not always together? This website is a good space for feeling included, though.
I feel like at events I am often the one fighting for space in the circle, and it would be so nice to have someone say “come and stand by me.”
We can stand by each other? 🙂
So right, justjenny…. My main attraction to The Toast (aside from the sheer brilliance of the writers, editors, and readers), is the fact that everyone here seems to be just as much of a gorgeous mess as I am– this has made me feel much better on some very rough days.
It’s remarkably friendly, and I myself am a mess. Thanks for all you do, Toast!
(The stealth poignancy of Ortberg Jokes)
Isn’t it just the worst?
Gently reaching over to hold your internet hand
“So, will you?”
“Aw, I’m honored! Man, when he gets older, I’ll like, take him out for ice cream, and to the movies and shit!”
-The Godfather
“Well, I passed the test, I took an oath before a judge, and now I’m fully naturalized. I can’t wait to vote!”
-Citizen Kane
I started doubling over and had to expend a great deal of will to stop there and not smile any wider.
Yes, I’m at the reference desk.
Someone gave me a really neat little hardcover of “Valley”. I’m embarrassed that I still haven’t read it…or maybe not. Anyway, it’s a great object. The similar book I have of Topps “Mars Attacks!” cards is more fun and has less barbiturates.
“This is really rather surprising for someone of your stature to be so charming.”
“Don’t mention it. I mean, truly, keep it between us.”
-The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie
“Jesus, that’s some punch. What’s in that again?”
“Mostly Everclear and some type of juice thing.”
“Shit. I love it.”
-Punch-Drunk Love
“You know, I love baseball so much!”
“Me too! But there’s nowhere to play it around here.”
“What about in that field of grain? It looks pretty empty right now.”
“Sure! Let’s go warm up.”
–The Catcher in the Rye
“Aren’t they cute!! One of them just drew a picture of me with a funny hat on”.
– Little Children
“I’m going to miss tonight’s episode of ‘Scandal’, but my sister will expect me to discuss it with her. Do you think you could please just take notes on what happens and send them to me? Thanks so much!”
“Ten little fingers, ten little toes.” smiled the nurse.
Esther and Ernest Star beamed down at the newest member of their family.
“With Rose on lead guitar, Pinkie on bass and Ida on drums, we’ll have the coolest band in Brighton!”
“I’m enraged!” snarled Grumpy.
“I’m fit to be tied!” moaned Dopey.
“I’m raging!” spat Sneezy.
“I’m incensed!” lamented Sleepy.
“I’m fuming!” voiced Happy.
“I’m livid!” confessed Bashful.
“Like this broccoli, I’m steamed!” shouted Doc.
– Furious 7
The midwife smiled. “It’s a boy!”
-Deliverance
Two dogs splashing around in a reservoir.
I would much prefer watching this for 2 hours or whatever!!!
“Thanks for coming out to donate today.”
“Oh, you know. I’m Type O, so I try to do my part.”
– There Will Be Blood
“Good Lord, where did you learn to make such a spectacular tagine?”
–Casablanca
“I’m not saying they’re great fellas…”
“Where was it that we last danced the tango? Madrid? Berlin? Amsterdam? Help me out here… London? The Hague?”
“I usually see cowboys during the day, not this late.”
“That’s an unusual term for one’s menarche.”
“Goodness, Rosemary, how lovely your baby is.”
“Thank you. She even sleeps through the night!”
“That’s wonderful.”
-Rosemary’s Baby
A mother coos at her baby: “Ba ba! Dook! Dook!”
The baby giggles gleefully.
It was not at all terrifying.
-The Babadook
“I made you some coffee,” he said, setting the mug on her nightstand. “And a Belgian waffle.”
-True Romance
“Where on earth are we? “About 1000 miles from L.A. in the Pacific Ocean”
-3000 Miles From Graceland
One of the great things about working in wildlife rescue is getting to interact with so many different creatures. Take this Marabou stork, for example. Such an exotic, elegant bird! Poor guy must have had a rough start in life, though. When he first came here, he was wracked by terrible nightmares. He’s so much happier now!
–Marabou Stork Nightmares
(Started reading this book on recommendation from formerly beloved brother-in-law. Got about 25% of the way through and realized brother-in-law must be evil. Will never, ever return to that book. Will never, ever regain the innocence it stole from me.)
Marabou Stork Nightmares is probably the most terrifying thing I have ever read in my life. Holy shit, that book… did something to me.
I love it passionately–it is beautifully done, and incredibly well-structured–and have a signed copy on my shelf at home, but will probably never read it again.
“Well, here we are, in Brooklyn,” she said.
There they were.
No matter where you go… There you are.
It was a VERY crowded church.
-Three Weddings and a Funeral
It was the most THOROUGH discussion of seabirds she had ever read.
-The Pelican Brief
He had waited almost a month.
-28 Days Later
You couldn’t leave bones just lying around. They’d stink up the place
-The Bone Collector
She frowned. “I really only needed one mule, but I suppose I can find room for the others.”
-Three Mules For Sister Sara
Just so you know, I cannot stop doing this.
Taylor Swift and Katy Perry send a series of nasty Tweets back and forth.
– Star Wars
In a world where an artist paints Elvis portraits on blue instead of black velvet…
– Blue Velvet
I love your Star Wars! Brilliant post.
No, in Britain trainspotting was the emblematic activity of nerds long before the internet, home computers or even the word "nerd".
Boron.
–The Fifth Element.
(sorry if this is a double post… my computer wigged out)
That made me bark with laughter in a most unladylike manner.
WORD. My face was D: for a week after I saw "Happiness."
Or unless you hang wallpaper for a living.
That made me bark with laughter in a most unladylike manner.
Gertrude finally reached her favorite bench and settled down with a huff. The walk from her doorstep to the park across the street always took a lot out of her.
“Here, birdie-birdies!” she cooed, reaching into her handbag for fresh bread crumbs.
-The Birds
Happy Feet 2, felt extremely unneeded and boring, but has great visuals and good covers of songs.
I will miss greatly the steadfast optimism of this series.