Eliana Osborn’s previous work for The Toast can be found here.
I’ve got two kinds of zealots on my Facebook feed: homeschoolers and Zumba enthusiasts. Can you guess which topic the following comments are in reference to?
- “On fire!”
- “I love how each participant has her own style and flair.”
- “I am having the best time of my life right now.”
- “I have so much appreciation for her pushing me and helping me on the way.”
- “Yes it is tough, challenging, and time-consuming, but oh so rewarding.”
- “I have made so many memories.”
- “Looking forward to some fun. Come join us!”
- “How did we have time to fit all of those activities in? Amazing!”
- “Do you have time to forget about anything and everything and just be yourself?”
- “Always grateful to my sisters for their encouragement, support, and positive energy!”
- “These challenges build me up to the person I am today—strong, forgiving, patient.”
- “It’s all worth it!”
Answers:
Zumba: 1, 2, 4, 7, 9, 10
Homeschool: 3, 5, 6, 8, 11, 12
Photo via Wikimedia
Tags: eliana osborn, fitness, homeschooling, quizzes, zumba
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I’m curious about the life path that curated your feed! Mine is about equal parts “Selling It Works! has changed my life” and “Here’s a CHE article that lays out in detail how all our careers are doomed.”
Mine is weirdly diametrically opposed between natural foods enthusiasm and rational-sciencey types making fun of said enthusiasm. Luckily these are friends that don’t overlap so it doesn’t BURST INTO FLAAAAMES.
Also, I bet Zumba is fun and all, but that level of workout joy & excitement makes me want to run in the opposite direction.
Yeah, I once tried a Zumba class and there was a woman there who was so overly enthusiastic and kept trying to pump up and interact with everyone in the class (she was just a regular participant) that I never went again. Exercise is my time for thinking to myself, not feeling obligated to look like I’m really enjoying myself to appease a stranger!
Hey, sounds like mine! Although there’s a healthy dose of anti- and pro-vax too so that’s fun.
A few people on my feed have been sharing this article about “the entitled generation” and bragging about how they were paddled with spoons as kids and THEY turned out just fine, so, good times.
Ehh, mine is just pregnancy and baby pictures.
Most of my friends are childless, exercise-averse nerds like me, so I see a lot more posts about “Is Starfleet a military organization? Y/N” and photos of Godzilla.
Your nerd friends really ask whether Starfleet is a military organization? Sheesh. Of course it is. That, however, doesn’t mean that it’s exactly like our 21st-century navy, any more than ours is like the navy of the Revolutionary War. Plus, Roddenberry was in the Army Air Force, not the Navy, so… should we be Facebook friends?
I would say so!! (We have some other Toast folks in our FB nerd group, too).
The problem is that I think Starfleet considers itself to not be a military. Because I am a huge dork, here’s the relevant bit of Memory Alpha. I’m not sure the quotes from real people are relevant, even though one of those people is Rodenberry, but there’s a quote from Picard saying “Starfleet is not a military organization, its purpose is exploration.”
I’m not sure how or if they reconcile this claim with their obvious military-ish-ness, though.
A lot of it depends on whether or not Roddenberry or someone else was in charge of the franchise at the time of a particular episode. Roddenberry was very much of the opinion that humanity had solved almost all of its problems, particularly with regards to being peaceful by nature, and it was all those other species that still had the problems–bit of a space racist in that regard, really–but other writers and producers had a more cynical take. An in-universe explanation for a bit of a shift in attitude was the Borg massacre of dozens of Starfleet ships at the Battle of Wolf 359, which was sort of the Federation’s Pearl Harbor or 9/11; a few years later, Deep Space Nine would get the Defiant, Starfleet’s first straight-up warship, which one of the DS9 showrunners described as “on a five-year mission to kick ass.”
You guys are totally welcome in our nerd group. <3
That explains the variation in how military-like they are, but I’m not sure that we can then say that they weren’t a military and then later they were. Even when Roddenberry was in charge they were still kind of a bunch of people in foreign territory with ranks and uniforms and government support and a substantial weapons array. Plus the Federation-Cardassian war was a major long-term conflict fought by Starfleet on one side, and it was pretty much ended when the Borg were encountered. And when Picard made his remark about Starfleet not being a military.
I don’t really know how Starfleet would define military, is the thing, aside from “totally not us.”
Yeah, it’s really more of how they choose to define themselves rather than the reality of the situation, kind of like how in the US the War Department became the Department of Defense without really changing what they actually do.
This discussion is everything I need in my life right now.
These are my people
I’m assuming that the “homeschoolers” are the parents and not the kids themselves. The kids are probably keeping a countdown clock in their heads for when they can either go to college or enlist in the Army.
My SIL is obsessed with both of these activities so I can say that I feel for the kids.
For a counter-point, my kids are very happy not to be stuck in a classroom all day. Want to spend all day reading an astronomy textbook? Go for it.
…will you adopt me?
Sorry, all the available slots at our home school have been filled. And when we have an opening, the moms intend to close down the educational operation entirely, as we look forward to ending our (involuntary) association with ‘the homeschooling community’.
Oh man, all the enthusiasm on my feed is like “weird natural food cure” and “Paleo Paleo Crossfit!” Hide hide hide
I adore my Zumba class but I don’t post about it on Facebook! I shake it shake it with sweet private joy.
Every day I’m glad to avoid Facebook
Around my neck of the woods, it’s the Unitarians and Catholics who are Zumba zealots and the evangelists who are homeschool fanatics.
My fb feed is Jamberry, essential oils (both DoTerra AND Young Living, for maximum annoyingness), and baby pictures. All things I do not participate in.
Jamberry, thirty-one bags, angry feminists (<3), baby pictures, and memes. No essential oils. I know too many cranky scientists, apparently.
DoTerra is another big one for me too.
Mine has a strong overlap between homeschooling moms, moms who sell Jamberry and/or essential oils, and paleo/Whole 30 moms.
My FB feed is mostly homeschooling and orthorexia.
Condolences. 🙁 I hope you constantly post “Hug a Teacher Today” articles and close-ups of HoHo’s and Donette Gems.
My feed is mostly news articles accompanied by stern lectures about political issues that are only commented on by people who already agree with them. Plus the requisite wedding planning and babies, of course.
My feed is Jewish professionals having flamewars at each other, my liberal friends from college posting about politics and getting flamed by THEIR libertarian friends, and people’s adventures in grad school, babies, and weddings. It’s not so bad, sometimes someone posts something insightful or a really good music video.
Apparently, we’re Facebook friends. Though I also still get the occasional “What state/animal/Friends character are you?” and rants about the weather and “She met a homeless woman and you won’t believe what happened next!”
Wait though, are we actually Facebook friends? (hey, the Jewish professional world is pretty tiny)
My facebook feed is mostly anarchist infighting, annoying inspirational gifs/life advice, and nice art.
My feed is quirky friends commenting on weather, Jewish holidays and weird parenting things they did not expect to say. I am SO lucky. Also ALL the Bernie Sanders posts, courtesy of my mother. Although I would very much like to join the Starfleet discussion crowd because yiss, thank you!
Mine is books, animals, kids, and running updates. Basic, not too obnoxious.
Mine is books, animals, kids, and running updates. Basic, not too obnoxious.
Mine is gardening, graduations, college musicians, climbers, and silks acrobatics. With a few feminists and geographers thrown in. Lots of dog pictures.
Mine is gardening, graduations, college musicians, climbers, and silks acrobatics. With a few feminists and geographers thrown in. Lots of dog pictures.
Until recently complaints about winter (we live in Canada, get over it!). pictures of recently emerged flowers, cocktail recipes, chihuahua races and rodeo updates, writers updating the status of their latest novel (many), missing aboriginal teenagers and condemnations of Government inaction, minions, more minions, minions with French captions, pictures of new grandchildren, a five year old fashionista’s choice of school clothing today, motorboats for sale, summer cottages for sale, more minions, hipster music videos, writers announcing their latest sale, news of a 20 hour marathon retelling of the Odyssey on Vancouver Island, discussions of the evil of squirrels, writers humblebragging about the status of their self published fantasy novel on Amazon, George Takei, and more minions. And just this week Fitbit. And anything Firefly.
My feed is mostly Bitch Media posts, women’s rights charities talking about UN development goals and the use of rape as a weapon of war, “Exposing Men’s Rights Activism”, and trailers to Jurassic World. Oh wait those are all groups that I’ve liked. Think I’ve hidden everyone else…
Oh and this dude today https://www.facebook.com/100009289487221/videos/1…
Mine is many types of feminism (exposing men’s rights activism, everyday feminism, A Mighty Girl) plus lots of statuses about street harassment, the pink tax, and (i’m british so) the tax on sanitary supplies. Then I have burlesque/poledancing/circus performers talking about new shows, new costumes etc, strippers/sex workers talking about their rights, a few vegans sprinkled around talking about LUSH and then lots of cool people talking about art and politics. Also the occasional book release.
Social justice things, What Happened at the Anime Convention, astrology, cute dogs, gushing posts about how wonderful someone’s husband/ wife/ baby is, obnoxiously exotic travel pictures from people who are richer than me, group photos captioned Our Teambuilding Retreat Was a Success!, people proudly proclaiming that they went to happy hour, stuff about Soulcycle and Crossfit
And one of my relatives is constantly posting cat memes from 2009 and those pictures where Donald Trump is a pig, captioning everything with “LOLOLOL!”
I feel like by talking about our fb feeds, we’re pulling back the veil of the universe. Or something. Things no-one was ever meant to know.