“A Graphic Novel is Still a Book” (to the tune of “A Secretary is Not a Toy” from How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying)
A graphic novel is still a book
Yes, a book
Take a look
Stop telling your students
That they shouldn’t read them
If they were just taking a look, yes!
Remember that even you
Once hated Hemingway too
For god’s sake just be glad
It’s a book.
*
“JSTOR” (to the tune of “Memory” from Cats)
JSTOR
Show you how to use JSTOR
What I’m actually here for
Not just copier jams
Doing research that won’t involve a Googling spree —
Wait, that’s better
‘Cuz it’s free
*
“The Internet is for School” (to the tune of “The Internet is for Porn” from Avenue Q)
The Internet is for school
The Internet is for school
Using sites like NoodleTools for school, school, school
*
“Living with My Cat” (to the tune of “Finishing the Hat” from Sunday in the Park with George)
Living with my cat
How you have to live with a cat
How you have to constantly lint-roll your cardigans
When you live with a cat
*
“Summer Reading” (to the tune of “Music of the Night” from Phantom of the Opera)
Summer reading
Planning summer reading
Arguing about it
In three hundred meetings
“Make them read the classics
Or else they’ll play with matchsticks”
“Screw the classics, long live Common Core!”
“Anything but 1984”
*
“All Your Data in a Chart” (to the tune of “Jacob and Sons/Joseph’s Coat” from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat)
You are perfect, you are smart
All your data in a chart
With an S-L-J devoted feature
On life-changing projects with your teacher
*
“525,600 Emails” (to the tune of “Seasons of Love” from RENT)
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred emails
Five hundred twenty-five thousand message alerts
Five hundred twenty-five thousand ALA listservs
All about e-books, so pointless it hurts
*
“The Library Way” (to the tune of “Iowa Stubborn” from The Music Man)
Oh there’s nothing halfway about the library way to treat you when we greet you
Which we may not do at all
There’s a library kind of special doing exactly what you do
So you can be rehired in the fall
Tags: e. sparling, jobs, librarian humor, librarians, music, musical theater, show tunes
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I’m totally not the one humming Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat now. Totally. You’re the one humming it, not me.
Wait, if I’m the one humming Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat, does that mean you’re the one humming Music Man?
“Anything but 1984″
YES!
Seriously. Put in Brave New World, instead. It grabs you with the “hey, this sounds awesome!” and then you realize “oh shit wait this is both terrifying AND ALL TOO REAL”. 1984 is just misery and awfulness.
As a recent student, can I request neither? Neither book was fun to analyze in class and neither stands out as particularly excellent literature to me. I wish we’d gotten to read more stuff full of awe, and wonder, and marveling at life and how cool and diverse humans can be instead of death, doom, despair, don’t let the Commies win, also don’t have sex that both of those books seemed to mostly be about. I could be misunderstanding the point of Brave New World, I guess, but I don’t understand why so many depressing books get assigned to high schoolers who are still trying to decide if they like this whole “literary analysis” business or not.
Hm, it’s been a while since I read Brave New World, but as I remember it was more “don’t watch porn [because it makes sex worse]” than “don’t have sex”… did I miss something?
I shall remember these as I reboot a computer or fix a copier jam whilst mumbling, “Two graduate degrees. For this.”
As an undergrad, I worked in circulation at my college library. Fixing the copier jams is one of the few things that has really prepared me for The Real World, I’m now quite popular among my colleagues who NEED IT PRINTED NOW HEEEEEELP.
Not long ago I found myself thinking “Boy, I’m really putting my Master’s in Printer Unjamming to work today!”
Reading this while at work…at a college library. And I am loving it. I will be singing these for the rest of the day.
“Five hundred twenty-five thousand ALA listservs”
Not enough YES in the world.
525,600 librarians who Reply All to a message that is only relevant to a tiny fraction of the people on the listserv…
Cataloging listservs. We had a 500-plus message thread about SEMICOLONS last year.
525,600 librarians who don’t realize messaging the whole list isn’t the best way to get removed from it
OH GOD, YES!!
this! Why can’t they find the directions on how to unsubscribe! It makes me so annoyed. You’re a librarian, do some research.
Same goes for university professors. People, you have a PhD!
WHYYYYY is this still happening in 20-bloody-15. WHY.
unsubscribe
UNSUBSCRIBE
How do I unsubscribe
this made me laugh and feel such feelings of rage.
Yeah, but that was exactly how Kate Monster tried to introduce the Internet in the first place.
This is PERFECT and I love it.
As an academic librarian, I would greatly appreciate if people would stop asking me how to use JSTOR, please, we have better choices for your subject, I don’t care that it is apparently the only database your professor has ever heard of.
This is my life, right here. “I can’t find anything.” “OK, where have you looked so far.” “Well…JSTOR?” The information universe is so much larger. There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your JSTOR.
I recommend JSTOR (and MUSE) because I know for a fact it archives the top journals for my discipline, and when my students use EBSCO or ProQuest they end up citing things like consumer reports and newspaper articles (for a general, not scholarly audience) because they think that as long as they use a library database they can get away with only reading something a paragraph long. My next favorite thing is students citing (/only reading) abstracts and book reviews.
^yes this (bluewindgirl’s comment) times a million
I’ll be singing about JSTOR for the rest of the day (life? Maybe)
This is my life. I love you.
Not A Day Goes By (Sondheim)
Not a day goes by,
Not a single day
When I’m explaining the printer
And you look blank,
As the days go by,
I keep thinking, “Why can’t they remember?
Where ‘s the day they’ll not cause a jam,
And leave me
Fuming and swearing
And cursing and crying…
Oh this is beautiful.
All I want is for you to cite
Follow APA & format right.
With parentheticals
Oh wouldn’t it be loverly?
Lots of sources for you to use,
why must Wikipedia you abuse?
It’s really not that hard
Oh wouldn’t it be loverly?
Awesome – this is loverly!
The song of the English teacher.
Can you tell that I run the tutoring/ writing center out of our library? And own a “Credible Hulk Cites His Sources” shirt?
Awesome!!
Why, just this morning, I unsubscribed from every single ALA email list I was on. I feel so free I could weep.
That sounds like true joy. Someday…
526,000 times no I don’t know your facebook/ yahoo password!
Can we open it up to movie musicals?
“Come with me
And you’ll be
in a wooooorld of responsible citation”
BTW Happy birthday Gene Wilder!
“Take a look
And you’ll see
How to handle web-page pagination…”
As a library/musical theatre nerd, this is just perfection. <3 <3 <3
Which part of the Joseph song is it? That’s the only one I can’t figure out. (these are perfect)
This is a site that knows its audience terrifyingly well, and I deeply appreciate this fact.
Relevant to my interests.
I have often walked
Down this stack before
But no patron has given me a heart attack before
All at once am I
Desperately averting my eye
‘Cause you’re banging in the library where I work
(needs some polishing)
almost inhaled my cough drop at this one.
Nearly snorted my meds out through my nose.
Maps show you what was simple and true
And I am sorry that your school
Still uses wall maps with the USSR
There are two Sudans now, let me show you where they are…
Brilliant. I’m sitting here in my library office singing these kind-of out loud.
So, from now on, whenever I fire up JSTOR (which is multiple times daily) I’m going to hear it sung like the climax of that song. Thanks for that. ಠ_ಠ
I like to be in the library
OK to eat in the library
scanning is free in the library
You have a late fee at the library
(this is not good but I wanted to add something)
That JSTOR one. The thing about copier jams is too real
Once, as a young and foolish grad student, I tried to Google JSTOR and accidentally ended up on J-date. Which I realised would make a great premise for a romantic comedy about two attractive, single Jewish academics. I call it… ‘Open Access to the Heart’.
You should definitely write that romantic comedy and share it with all of us.
I might have to post this directly to my alma mater’s MLIS program Facebook page.
This is the intersection of so many of my interests