Previously by Lindsay King-Miller: If Carrie Brownstein Were Your Girlfriend

“Teenage Girl Making Empowered, Thoughtful Choices About My Sex Life”

“The Woman Who Didn’t Think Very Much About Food”

“People Like You Have Consensual Sex With People Like Me Because Our Relationship Is Based On Mutual Desire And Healthy Communication”

“(Car Pooling To Yoga Class On The) Pacific Coast Highway”

“Jennifer’s Body Does Not Determine Her Value As a Woman”

“Plump (Tomatoes From My Organic Rooftop Garden)”

“Living In California Is Expensive But The Weather Is Great”

“Dying (To Tell You About The Novel I’m Reading For Book Club)”

“No One Will Ever Insinuate That I Didn’t Write This Song Myself, Because Female Artists Are Never Considered Innately Incapable Of Creating Great Music”

“Good Sister, Also Good Sister (We Have Different Strengths But That Doesn’t Make Either Of Us Superior To The Other)”

“Flowers And The Petals Thereof Have Pleasant Colors And Aromas, But Otherwise Bear No Special Significance”

“My Relationships With Men Have Been Satisfying And Uncomplicated”

“It Was Punk, It Was Perfect, Now All My Youthful Goals For Social Change Have Been Accomplished And I’m Going to Learn To Crochet”

“Garbage Man (Thank You For Working Hard To Keep Our Neighborhood Beautiful)”

“Credit in the Best Buy”

“There’s Nothing I Would Change About The Way Our Culture Treats Women”

“I Want To Be The Girl Who Made Enough Cake For Everyone (It’s Vegan, By The Way)”

“Celebrity Skin Is All Makeup And Photoshopping, True Beauty Comes From Within”

“Doll Parts Upcycled Into Kitschy Lamps, Available At My Etsy Store”

“Sure, I Could Dwell On Whether Or Not I Live Up To Rigid Cultural Beauty Standards, But With My Rich Family Life And Fulfilling Hobbies, I Just Don’t Have The Time”

 

[Image via]