A Florence and the Machine Album in which Drowning Is Rare and Love Is Not Terrifying -The Toast

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florence-and-the-machine-animal-costumes1Previously in this very odd series of imaginary albums: The Hold Steady and The Decembrists

“I’m Not Calling You a Liar Because I Genuinely Trust You Implicitly”

“Kiss With a Hug”

“Girl with Two Eyes”

“My Boy Builds Wardrobes (and Assorted End Tables)”

“I’m Going Out (Gonna Drink One Glass of Water for Every Alcoholic Beverage)”

“Timpani Are For Orchestras”

“I Saw a Bird, Which Was Not Me Literally or Figuratively”

“This Hospital Has Provided an Array of Rewarding Diversions”

“Are You Hurting the One You Love? (No.)”

“The Sea Is Not a Loving yet Murderous Anthropomorphized Mother”

“I Had a Dream About My Old, Revenant-Free School”

“Today I Will Cut Out No Hearts, Eyes, or Other Organs”

“What the Water Gave Me Was a Sick Curl, Brah”

“Seven Brides for Seven Devils”

“I’m Naturally Buoyant”

“My Feelings For You Are Unequivocally Healthy”

“Five Seconds is Long Enough for Any Note”

“We Are Both in Darkness, but the Electrician Will Be Here Momentarily”

“Let’s Both Survive This Day on Dry Land, Shall We?”

“Water is For Fish, Not Me”

“This Storm Will Not End Our Relationship”

“What Kind of Man (Would Treat Me With Such Respect)”

“Saint Jude Protects Us Because the Universe Is Just”

“Seven Dust Devils (Cleaning Song)”

Laura Passin is a writer, professor, and feminist at large. She holds a PhD from Northwestern and an MFA from the University of Oregon. Her writing has recently appeared in Prairie Schooner, Bellevue Literary Review, Adrienne: A Poetry Journal of Queer Women, The Archipelago, and Best New Poets 2013. She has been known to tweet. John Larson tries not to get in the way. John Larson tries not to get in the way.

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