Previously in this very odd series of imaginary albums: The Hold Steady and The Decembrists
“I’m Not Calling You a Liar Because I Genuinely Trust You Implicitly”
“Kiss With a Hug”
“Girl with Two Eyes”
“My Boy Builds Wardrobes (and Assorted End Tables)”
“I’m Going Out (Gonna Drink One Glass of Water for Every Alcoholic Beverage)”
“Timpani Are For Orchestras”
“I Saw a Bird, Which Was Not Me Literally or Figuratively”
“This Hospital Has Provided an Array of Rewarding Diversions”
“Are You Hurting the One You Love? (No.)”
“The Sea Is Not a Loving yet Murderous Anthropomorphized Mother”
“I Had a Dream About My Old, Revenant-Free School”
“Today I Will Cut Out No Hearts, Eyes, or Other Organs”
“What the Water Gave Me Was a Sick Curl, Brah”
“Seven Brides for Seven Devils”
“I’m Naturally Buoyant”
“My Feelings For You Are Unequivocally Healthy”
“Five Seconds is Long Enough for Any Note”
“We Are Both in Darkness, but the Electrician Will Be Here Momentarily”
“Let’s Both Survive This Day on Dry Land, Shall We?”
“Water is For Fish, Not Me”
“This Storm Will Not End Our Relationship”
“What Kind of Man (Would Treat Me With Such Respect)”
“Saint Jude Protects Us Because the Universe Is Just”
“Seven Dust Devils (Cleaning Song)”
Tags: florence and the machine, humor, john larson, laura passin, music
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I had this song stuck on loud replay in my head whilst in the throes of a horrendous bout of food poisoning one Christmas. Because pounding head-drums and sirens are exactly what you want to be thinking about while your stomach is forcefully ejecting its contents. D:
Oh yay this is up! Florence, I adore you but I kinda think you should stay away from water.
I especially love an interview I read (sorry, can’t find the citation, so hopefully I didn’t dream it up) where her producer(?) told her maybe she should stop writing so much about water, so her response was to create an entire album titled “How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful.”
Built This Ship To Sail On Water Without Rocks (There Are Sufficient Lifejackets Regardless)
Various Storms and Saints are Listed in This Encyclopedia
(The S Volume.)
omgggg yes I love you both
How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful (This Glass of Water Is For I Must Stay Hydrated)
Oh yeah, all of this. Although I do think “All this and heaven too” is a pretty badass love song, all things considered.
Also, feel free to ask me about how often I have imagined making videos of these songs matched with Dr Who and/or Kill Bill but then not done so because I lack the skills and can’t be buggered to learn them!
Often. I do it often.
I am so glad to know someone else thinks that’s a beautiful love song because the Burgomaster is always like “this is fucking depressing wtf is wrong with you” and I’m all “noooooooo it’s about hope and discovery.”
Also, I totally make fanvids in my head all the time. I have a huge list of songs, shows, and pairings for vids that will never, ever, get made. I’ve never bothered putting All Of This on it (yeah, it’s an actual written down list, what) because it would basically say “All of them, all of the time.”
I also think it’s a beautiful love song!
Not that I’m surprised, but- MY PEOPLE.
I might sing it to my to-be-wife at our wedding reception (we’re planning to have karaoke), so I have Feelings About This Song.
I’m sorry– can we stop for a minute and just talk about Idris Elba’s tongue for a minute tho? Because it’s all I can concentrate on.
*cough* I have a folder of Doctor Who fanvids set to Florence songs that I have not made, but other people have, because I also lack these skills. *cough*
*cough* If you ever shared a playlist, there would definitely be an audience. (Also, Cosmic Love is the perfect soundtrack for universe-travelling Rose Tyler.) *cough*
I think a lot of her songs go well with the scene in the movie Possession where Lena Headey’s poet character drowns herself in a pond. I often think of it when I listen to her
I very seldom Laugh Out Loud, but as an ardent FatM fan, “Five Seconds Is Long Enough for Any Note” pretty much killed me.
“Never Let Me Go (Because This Blanket Is Warm And I Enjoy Cuddling With You)”
Shake It Out (Where By It I Mean The Mane On This Horse Which Is Totally Alive)
The Hole Where Your Heart Lies Is Definitely Metaphorical
True Life Office Conversations:
Co-worker: Stop working! Go to The Toast!
Me: Bza? Oh, ok. Hold on.
Me: *scrolls*
Me: *stops* Oh I was going to read this…WAIT IT’S YOU.
Me: YOU’RE A REAL BLOGGER.
Co-worker: We got paid and everything!
(Hi John!)
i can’t help but notice you left out the part where i talked for like ten minutes about considering different versions of “sick curl, brah” because it was maybe too many levels of indirection to be funny but on the other hand the quirk might gel with the readership of the toast and while i still have doubts it makes me chuckle when i read it so ultimately i’m glad i went with my instincts and what do you think
You maybe don’t remember that part because you were ignoring me and reading Matt’s Restless Ghost piece.
I mean, I also skipped the part where I was so not with it that you had to repeat GO TO THE TOAST three times, to be completely fair. Also, my defense for distraction forever is going to be the Soviet Raccoon.
Florence Welch speaks to the angsty, dramatic teen inside of me, and I perform interpretive dance in my kitchen while listening to her, and I will NOT apologize.
Omg same. I, too, was born in a big grey cloud, screaming out a love song.
Caught (in an entertaining yet informative wikipedia spiral, not a doomed relationship)
Breaking Down (an old cardboard box for the recycling)
Lover (of chocolate chip cookies) to Lover (of lemon bars)
Look, I only want to listen to music about possibly fucking a ghost, I don’t think that makes me a bad person.
Heavy In Your Arms (Because I Am A Full Grown Woman, Not Because You Are About To Drown Me)
Howl (Says My Cat, At 6 AM, I Am Not A Werewolf)
Blinding (This Song Can In No Way Be Interpreted As Being About The Winter Soldier, Maybe It’s Just About Gardening)
Florence Welch is like Furious Tori Amos, which means I adore her as well. All of this is entirely accurate though & I love it.
“Furious Tori Amos” is what I’ve wanted since I was 15, so of course I’m a huge Florence fan.
This Is A Gift (It Comes With A Gift Receipt)
"Furious Tori Amos" is what I've wanted since I was 15, so of course I'm a huge Florence fan.
A restless ghost?
All kinds of ghosts.
Your Mother Is Alive And She Loves You Very Much
No Light, No Light (Because The Lightbulb In The Foyer Burnt Out But You Bought An Environmentally-Friendly Replacement On Your Way Home From Work Because You Are An Exceptional Roommate)
You’re cool (I really mean it)
We Are Both in Darkness, but the Electrician Will Be Here Momentarily (And We Have a Sensible Stockpile of Emergency LED Flashlights, Should We Desire to Use Them to Ameliorate This Predicament of Our Own Accord in the Interim)