The other day I was interviewing a gentleman from Iceland’s Elf School. This is already the most charming thing I’ve done with my life, but at the end of our conversation, after he had encouraged me to visit Iceland and his school, he bid farewell by saying “See you at the Elf School! And if not, see you in heaven!” These are the two best options I’ve ever been offered regarding where to meet someone. Here are other ways you can end phone calls with me.

See you at the cat cafe! And if not, see you in a cotton candy factory!

See you at the bouncy castle! And if not, see you in the Lisa Frank dimension depicted on your 3rd grade Trapper Keepers!

See you at that free showing of Hamilton they’re staging in your apartment! And if not, see you in the dreamscape where you move into a new home that shares a backyard with a wedding venue so that you can always sneak food from their buffet!

See you in that attic full of old stuff you can putter through for hours without anyone bothering you! And if not, see you in a hot tub!

See you in the kitchen that always smells like onions, garlic and ginger cooking together! And if not, see you back in that time of your life when you knew how to cast-on when knitting!

See you in that winery you visited in Tuscany when you were 20! And if not, see you in the backyard of your grandparents old farm, before it was sold, where you would sit and pick flowers until the fireflies came out. You can go back now. You can always close your eyes and go back.

See you a massive success in your field! And if not, see you maintaining a reputation as somebody who works hard yet is kind to others!

See you alone and content, alone and yet surrounded by loved ones, connected by invisible threads to all of them but never tangled, never constrained. And if not, see you reunited with your childhood pony!