Toast! I have returned from New York and Hamilton a changed person, a better person, which may sound like unforgivable hyperbole but is the absolute my-hand-to-God Truth. Before I go on I must thank Nicole from the bottom of my newly expanded and inspired heart for getting the tickets (talk about a holiday bonus). THANK YOU, NICOLE, I DO NOT DESERVE YOU.
This was the first show I’ve seen on Broadway in a million [eight.] years, and I grew up worshipping at the altar of musical theatre and majored in American history and am, like so many of you, OBSESSED with Hamilton, and I was SO EXCITED last Saturday that I could barely contain myself during the very nice dinner I went to with my husband before the show. I am sure many people thought there was something wrong with me, since I was all but quaking with anticipation and completely unable to answer direct questions in my calm inside voice. I’m sorry, New York. I’m not always like that.
For various uninteresting and not-typical reasons, we never go anywhere without the kids — this was actually our first time away by ourselves since becoming parents — so our brief stay in the city was basically one long extended date. Except (as I only realized after the fact, and much too late to do anything about it) I was not a very good date, because of the aforementioned quaking and excitement.
Here is what my husband wanted to talk about over our fancy dinner:
- Us
- Favorite moments in the history of our relationship, possibly?
- The many things we like about each other
- How nice it was to get away together without the children
- Definitely NOT the kids
- NOT work
- Current events, perhaps; non-stressful ones
- Our as yet unrealized hopes and dreams for the future and how we can help one another reach them before our inevitable deaths
- Maybe the food, which really was excellent, if you are the sort of person with the capacity to think or care deeply about food right before you see the musical that has been offered as proof that musical theatre CAN evolve and still be transformative and a force for good and give us hope in these dark days
Here is all I was capable of talking about:
- ARE YOU EXCITED I’M SO EXCITED I CAN’T EVEN
- What time is it? Let’s check
- How many minutes until curtain?
- When should we leave here? I really don’t want to be late for the show
- I want to get there in time to use the bathroom, too, because you know the line at intermission is gonna be ridiculous*
- Please just let me check the time once more on my phone, I won’t even tweet
- Yep, I like this dress too
* I went during intermission, too, because I had a lot of water and also a nice cabernet at dinner, and the line was a literal nightmare. Next time I go to see a Broadway show I will ensure that I’m well and truly dehydrated first.
It’s been years since we were in Times Square on a Saturday night and I’d just…forgotten what it’s like, but we finally made it to the theatre and took a lot of bad selfies just outside, underneath the Hamilton sign. I didn’t buy one of the big glossy programs they were hawking, though I thought very seriously about it — honestly, I have a stack of big glossy programs from past shows and concerts and I never ever look at them; at most someone might come over to my house one day and maybe we’d get to talking about the play and I might suddenly say, “Do you want to see my big glossy program from Hamilton, for which I paid thirty dollars [or whatever]?” and they might reply “yes,” but only to be polite.
(I am going to buy myself a minimum of three Hamilton t-shirts if I ever finish holiday shopping for the other people in my family. Someday, someday.)
SO THEN WE FINALLY SAW THE SHOW. I was pretty proud of myself for not welling up during the first song and then just straight-up sobbing the entire time, as it would have been difficult to take everything in through a film of my own tears and snot. I think I was just too excited to even cry; the adrenaline was overpowering. But I did put my hand over my heart during Burr’s very first opening lines and kept it there for a while, pressing hard whenever it all felt like too much (which it often did). I kept looking over at my husband with an ear-to-ear grin, eyebrows raised, wordlessly asking: Are you as happy as I am to be here? and every time I could tell that he totally was. It was one of the top five nights of my life, easily. (And, unlike when my babies were born, no one barged in when I was finally almost asleep to talk with me Very Seriously about the possibility of hemorrhaging.)
I loved Lin, obviously. And Leslie and Phillipa and Renee and Daveed and Chris and Anthony and everyone; you know their names — so brilliant, so talented, so (sorry to be shallow but) DAMN GOOD-LOOKING, I’m not sure it should be allowed. We had the entire first string except for Okieriete Onaodowan as Hercules MULLIGAN!/James Madison. I missed him! I would have loved to see him, too. But now that it’s over I just keep thinking about how much I want to go back and see the show again, and maybe see some of the understudies, and eventually see a whole new cast on tour or something, because this work will change and grow in new ways and new directions and that will be thrilling to experience. I mean, think of how great a high school or college production of Hamilton could be, in the right hands. Think of what it could mean to so many young people who are just starting to wonder if a career in the arts or in history is for them.
Oh, and we sat right behind someone who went to the same high school as Phillipa Soo! “She’s like a local legend, we’re all so proud of her!!” she gushed, and I just nodded vigorously like YES I WOULD THINK YOU WOULD BE. (The only cool person from my town is Ginger Rogers, and she wasn’t really from there, she just moved there later in life. And she was a Republican, which I don’t like to bring up because I love her, but it’s true.) I exhibited great congratulations-worthy restraint in not pouncing on the person from Phillipa’s high school and demanding to know all — I still feel that little twinge of regret, you know, because what if I had, and then she had introduced me to Pippa after the show, and then we had become really great friends? (Which I hear happens all the time when you speak to someone for thirty seconds after performing in a three-hour-long musical.)
But I am convinced Phillipa must have sensed my love for her all the way from the rear mezzanine. I hope she gets the Tony. I hope Leslie Odom, Jr. wins for Best Actor and Lin gets everything else (he will). All week I’ve been replaying the show over and over like a little movie in my mind — it was so wonderful and also surreal to watch and hear it live after memorizing everything about the cast recording. The soundtrack is so perfect, and live performance isn’t — voices crack; people miss cues or stumble or aren’t 100% in sync — but live performance is still better, because it’s a living present thing and you’re sharing it from your seat. It was a perfect night and I truly believe the great love and affection I feel for humanity as a whole as a result of seeing Hamilton will stay with me for a long, long time.
This week, Nicole introduced us to SANSA and taught us how to serenade our dogs with lyrics from Hamilton (“Why do you assume you’re the cutest in the room?”). I don’t have a dog — just a cat named Eliza, who I pretend is named after Eliza Schuyler Hamilton — but alas, she’s always been pretty indifferent to my singing.
Jaya on why Pippi Longstocking is actually a depressing horror show (ah well, at least the descriptions of carbohydrates are 💯).
do you think people would get it if i compared a woman’s corset to like…a version of my dick that she carried around with her inside her dress all day
what
like do you think i could make that obvious enough
i think you could make it obvious enough, yes
sometimes i worry people will miss the dick parts of my poetry
i don’t think you should worry about that
i usually find it pretty clear
Rohin Guha had this great #longread on the legacy of occupation, the West’s co-opting of Indian culture, and what Alisha Chinai’s Madonna covers album meant to him.
Jasmine Riad on helping correct her mother’s English, and how difficult it is to find the right words when confronted with cruel ignorance.
“Postpartum depression is not polite conversation.”
Kayla Whaley on the many problems with that Kylie Jenner wheelchair photo.
Jessica Woodbury on the tough, imperfect choices faced by Mormon feminists.
The Best Books You Didn’t Read in 2015
I always love when Carla Bruce writes anything at all for us, and this — on travel and relationships and coming into your own as a young person — was just lovely.
Finally, since I began this post with Hamilton: “If Daniel Henney were your boyfriend, there would suddenly appear a Democratic candidate for President you could love and campaign for with no reservations whatsoever, and you would finally be able to stop wistfully humming teach ’em how to say goodbye every time you saw a picture of Barack Obama.”
Have a beautiful weekend, friends.
I HAVE BEEN WAITING ALL WEEK FOR YOUR HAMILTON RECAP OMG SO JEALOUSSSSS, SO HAPPY FOR YOUUUU
probably should have just smashed the keys alsfklasdlkdsanfklsadj and had done with it!
Noooo it was so much better to hear about the dinner and to feel excited for you and what it might feel like to have a heart so full you have to physically hold it in.
If you feel like sharing more about what surprised you about the staging or what happened exactly the way you imagined it, I am listening!
I don’t know what to SAY except IT WAS ALL GREAT. “Satisfied,” you might have heard, rewinds the whole Hamilton/Eliza courtship and retells it from Angelica’s perspective — not just vocally, but choreographically. I was SO IMPRESSED by that. “Yorktown” was staged so well, and so was “The Room Where It Happens,” and god I loved Christopher Jackson in EVERY NUMBER HE WAS IN. The show just needs an authority figure so badly and I got really emotional every time he sang, idk why. I also don’t think I fully appreciated Anthony Ramos until we saw the show.
ugh gotta go pick up kids, will come back to this later!
Loooovvvvee itttt
I admire Chris Jackson’s voice so much. As fun as it is to stumble through Lafayette’s rap in Guns and Ships, Chris Jackson’s letter to Hamilton is just like the sun breaking through thunderclouds and I always start singing it even though I myself do not have a voice like Mufasa.
again, I was TOO EXCITED TO CRY but the closest I came, apart from when people died, was “One Last Time.” It destrooooyed me.
*nods*
The Partner started out by leaning “Guns and Ships,” but if he could pick one part to learn and perform, it would be Washington, largely because of “History Has Its Eyes on You.”
I don’t want to spoil things because I’m sure a lot of Toasties will want to see the show, but the literal mic drop during Cabinet Battle #1 was a thing of beauty.
I bought my sister a Very Fancy Binder for her Playbills for Hanukkah last year and am seriously considering getting one for myself because omg I have so many of them going back to 2003 and they need to be preserved so I don’t LOSE THEM LIKE I DID WITH MY ASSASSINS PLAYBILL THAT WAS SIGNED BY NPH what was i doing in high school you guys
ASSASSINS <3 <3
I used to have a binder for all of my Kristi Yamaguchi articles and autographs and skating programs and things! I don’t know WHERE my Playbills are. Probably with my big glossy programs.
I once helped Kristi Yamaguchi write a poem. It was something to do with “Always Dream” and her necklace and it was in maybe late 91? I know I was in college, and a mutual friend connected us and it was all via letter, and if I’d been sensible I’d have some sort of archive about this whole thing because when I mention it people look at me like I’m recounting a fever dream.
HOW DID I MISS THIS BEFORE MEL TELL ME EVERYTHING
p.s. are you sure it was her necklace and not her signature crystal heart dangly earring given to her by Tai Babilonia?
Not positive, but my memory is of a gold necklace? It was a signature piece of jewelry, so for sure the earring would have qualified.
Okay! I’m back & can tell you all now. But it’s not a ton to tell, so prepare for disappointment.
I was a creative writing major (undergrad) at UC Santa Cruz, writing some poetry on my own but fiction for my classes. I graduated in June ’92, so I know all this happened before then – and definitely before the 92 Olympics – and I think it was after she moved to Canada in ’91 (so Wikipedia claims) because I remember having to go to get international stamps for our correspondence (though I’d also acquired overseas pen pals by then, so I could be mistaken.) I was out of California during the 90-91 school year, so my best bet is that all this happened in the fall or winter of 91.
UCSC is about an hour from where she grew up, and almost everyone I knew was from the same general area, which makes my remembering which person connected us even harder. (Also, the year I spent abroad, I broke up with my college boyfriend, which totally shifted my friend dynamics when I got back. I can eliminate the crew who ditched me from consideration!) Whoever it was knew her family. She expressed the desire to craft a poem inspired by the necklace her parents gave her, and because my friend went to college with a lot of writing majors, her family suggested he could find someone to help her.
He asked me, I said sure, because I was a budding 21-year-old genius writer and who better to help a fully-bloomed 20-year-old genius skater express herself in verse? (n.b. – one of the poems I was proudest of at that stage in my life was about a jigsaw puzzle.)
She sent me a letter describing her necklace and her theme of ‘always dream’ and the idea that if you always dream and always work hard focused on that dream, you can achieve your dream. I’m not positive, but I think she had written 8 or 10 lines, and I helped craft them so they scanned and changed some of the language, and after three or four letters back and forth, we had a nice iambic sonnet. I’m fairly sure I printed it up all pretty using my nascent desktop publishing skills (I was SO VERSATILE) and mailed it to her. She sent a thank you card, because she is made up of 1000% goodness and class.
I saved everything for a few years there, but them my parents moved and we moved and I lost track of my many shoeboxes full of correspondence. If anything related to this ever emerges, I’ll be sure to scan it for you!
-Mel
A NICE IAMBIC SONNET
sigh. I love her and you and I’m so JEALOUS, all I want in life now is to be Kristi Yamaguchi’s ghostpoet.
I loved this recap because it captures EXACTLY how I feel when I see something great (and how I’m sure I will feel when I see Hamilton!!) which is I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT FOREVER but also I have NOTHING to say other that I LOVED THAT SO MUCH.
it was such a challenge not to just talk about the show using gifs and emoji but I felt I had to give you guys something
When I saw it I actually did start crying from like, pretty much the first song on, oftentimes because I was remembering future repeated refrains in much sadder contexts. And it actually was a problem because I kept having to wipe my eyes because I couldn’t see very well through the tears!
And the worst/best part of seeing Hamilton live is that instead of quelling your hunger for seeing it, it just makes you want to see it again even more. My first tickets I’d bought back in July when hype was only at high levels instead of the astronomical level it’s at now, so my second time seeing it will definitely have to be way more expensive.
Very true, I am desperate to see it again! I wanted to keep my eyes on EVERY SINGLE MEMBER of the company and it just wasn’t possible — I felt like I was missing so much because my eyes were naturally drawn to whoever was singing.
I’ve seen it four times (sorry, early adopter), and every time I go in thinking, “This time I will focus on the choreography/lighting/company/eye contact!” but my attention is pulled in so many directions that it ends up being a new mosaic of sensation and interpretation and emotion. It’s an unquenchable thirst.
I AM GOING TO SEE HAMILTON IN FEBRUARY and I couldn’t breathe while reading this. SO EXCITED. Your excitement is my excitement. It is all of our excitement. Communal excitement.
IT’S MORE THAN WE DESERVE
If you didnt read “Someday, Someday” in A Ham and A Burr’s voice at the end of Dear Theodosia, you need a hug.
If they didn’t read it that way they probably skipped the entire first section! which is understandable, I got kind of carried away.
I am so very, very jealous and yet so happy for you at the same time. It is ridiculous how much I am obsessed with this show that I will most likely not get to see for a long time, not until it comes to Houston probably, but I am COMPLETELY obsessed and not even a tiny bit sorry about it, not even when my coworkers come in my office when I’m blaring Cabinet Battle #2 and dancing in my chair.
IIIII’m not sorry, either, not even when we’re in the school dropoff lane and my kid is about to hop out of the car and she asks me to please turn it down, just a little, and maybe stop singing when she opens her door.
I didn’t think I’d get to see it on Broadway. I’m SO THANKFUL I did, and at the same time I am so looking forward to the inevitable tour and seeing a brand new cast.
I don’t know how it is possible to be so very happy and also so very jealous of a person I’ve never met but I am. Also those two emotions at once are sorta confusing but OMG Hamilton! I keep trying to get people I know to listen to it with no success so I come here where I know there are many people who already love it.
I am giving many people the gift of Hamilton this year even if they have expressed ZERO interest in show or book. Too bad. That’s what they are getting. We have to be able to talk about this!
Oh my God, Nikki. I don’t care what else happened this week; this is my everything.
I came home all AGLOW! and while a few tiny little things this week have threatened the glow, it’s still mostly intact.
I’m going to see it in October and sometimes I worry that when It Is Actually Time my heart will just give out from the excitement!
I live in NYC though so I am tiding myself over/trying to vaccinate myself to Lin’s charm by attending as many Ham4Ham performances as possible!
Too Much Feels. It’s a real concern! It’s strange to see it when you know every line the way it’s sung on the cast album. It wasn’t as perfect live, but it was so, so much better.
I kind of wish we’d gone to Ham4Ham, but again, dinner and dessert and date and all of that. I really was enjoying it even if I couldn’t focus so well!
You need to be at Ham4Ham at least an hour beforehand to even see anything, and then it’s about 5 minutes, so you didn’t miss a ton.
It was really great though! They performed Carnaval de Barrio with the cast of On Your Feet and I FLIPPED and at one point Lin made direct eye contact with me as I sang directly into his face so I can die a happy woman. If anything it was really amazing to see 400 people standing in the street loving on Hamilton, and musical theater in general.
As soon as the Chicago tour was announced I told my friend, “Oh good, I’ll have to see it. I have to see every new cast.” He replied, “That seems not possible.” I said, “You underestimate me.”
A+ life goal!
I won the Hamilton lotto last night. I was front row center. I am now dead, and this comment is being typed by my ghost, and nothing in my life will ever be as important again as those three hours were.
SCREAMS OF JOY FOR YOU
I have now been spat upon at least a little by every member of the cast of Hamilton except Philippa Soo (who was not on last night, and also who presumably does not spit while singing but rather produces beautiful music directly from the choir of angels that is her soul). Leslie smiled at me a little at the end of “The Room Where It Happens.” I have transcended this mortal plane. I have been chosen, and gone on to a better world.
It’s super hard to describe the experience of seeing this show without sounding like I’m being hyperbolic: I too frequently tell my friends and loved ones that seeing Hamilton at the Public made me “a different and better person” (as did seeing it again). Then they ask if I’m joking.
I’m not.
And I am genuinely happy for everyone who sees it. Everyone in the world should get to see it.
I have aughroahgti8 HTO 4TQJEHKJ DF;h’sjdhfkjah as my only possible response.
Also, given how intensely my legs start jittering and my body quivers at the very idea of seeing Hamilton, it makes no sense that I haven’t lost like 30 pounds since I first downloaded the cast album.
I am maybe 300 years behind on my excitement for theater arts, but I have a deep joyous feeling for having seen the opera Norma last weekend; it was beautiful and made me cry, all the way from the shitty ($17!!) seats, without opera glasses.
I’ve seen Norma!!! I’ve seen all of three operas and that was one of them. (I really need to start seeing more–the local state university has an opera program for pete’s sake, I bet they’re less expensive.)
I have just enough choral singing experience to be dumbstruck by some of the singing in Norma–there’s a section where the two female leads are descending in pitch, in changing harmonies, at uneven rhythms, with no orchestral backup; and lemme tell ya, that’s one of the hardest things imaginable to sing. I was blown away.
YES I remember that. I have some vocal/choral training too, and I can’t even comprehend what’s going on up there sometimes. AND at the end, when she said “It is I!” I practically burst into tears. WHY. It’s sorcery.
One of the other operas I’ve seen is Faust, and I’m pretty sure I sobbed all the way through The Jewel Song. And our seats were literally the last row of the top mezzanine!
I was about to get really excited when you said Ginger Rogers was from your town, but then it turned out you’re from her late-in-life town. I’m from her early-life hometown.
I feel like she moved to southern Oregon and bought a house not SO late in life? But she didn’t live in my actual town full-time until later.
The theatre in my hometown is named for her, and she performed in it once as a vaudevillian!
also idc if she was a Republican, I will always love Ginger
Dear Hamiltoast community,
I recently bought two t-shirts via the online store and neither works at all for me or my friend.
So, here’s what I have:
1 red ladies v-neck – http://www.hamiltonbroadwaygoods.com/view/details…
This shirt is super tiny! I bought a M and it is nowhere close. This shirt will work for you if you wear S or XS normally and have a small bust (unlike me).
1 gray dancing ladies – http://www.hamiltonbroadwaygoods.com/view/details…
This shirt is as wide and loose as the other is tiny! But a little short. I bought a L. This should work if you typically wear L, have a bust, and don’t have a super long torso.
All sales are final, so I can’t return the shirts. But here’s the deal. I would love for someone else to actually be able to wear these! So first person to email me at olivia.s8327 at gmail and claim each shirt gets it for free. (One shirt per person) Just send me your address. It can be your holiday gift if it can’t be ours.
Your obedient servant,
O.S.
Hello, again!
The gray shirt is definitely claimed. Surely there is someone out there for the red as well?
Love,
Hello! I’d like to take the red one, please!
Thank you so much!!!
And the red shirt is now claimed too. The lovely Toast readers who emailed me with Hamilton references are THE BEST. Love to all!
OH MAN THAT’S JUST AMAZING. I confess I would be HELLA bitter if the announcements about Chicago and other west-coast city runs weren’t ALREADY HAPPENING and so I can plan on seeing it definitely, within the next two years, and not just SOMEDAY, SOMEDAY.
I will never be able to afford going to New York, tragically, but the Chicago announcement is almost as good, particularly because the theater is around the corner from my office (if Ham4Ham is a thing, I will be there EVERY DAY).
Reading your Hamilton story made me SO. HAPPY. I love your Hamilton tweets and I’m so glad your experience was everything you hoped for. My friend and I were trying to plan a trip to see it before the Tony’s, but tickets got out of control expensive so fast. So now I find my new favorite thing is hearing other peoples’ experiences and how they’re all across the board some semblance of IT WAS AS GOOD AS YOU HEARD AND EVEN BETTER. I love when a work of art receives that kind of reaction. I’m hoping maybe we can get tickets in the fall or it’ll come to our city eventually, but in the mean time, reading this made my night.
No words, just high-pitched noises of delight!
Deep love for the recap of your experience.
And: Think of what it could mean to so many young people who are just starting to wonder if a career in the arts or in history is for them. – This is my 15 year old. He’s taking US History & band & theatre arts right now, just starting rehearsals for his first school musical, prepping his audition for the magnet arts school, completely obsessed with Hamilton. (I could NOT resist giving him the official Hamilton shirt as soon as it arrived, rather than waiting for Hanukkah. He is now the darling of the theatre gang.) His aspirations have firmly settled down in the musical field, and it’s all Hamilton’s fault. We had an unusual summer – saw three musicals (two on Broadway, failed to be aware of Hamilton as A Thing, regret eternally our failure of imagination to go off-Broadway) – and he enjoyed them, but Hamilton has been a sea change. It’s expanded his thinking. My imaginary mash notes to LMM are all to do with that impact.
(Also, he’s been breezing through US History. Here’s hoping the AP exam has to do with cabinet battles.)
Oh, what a coincidence! I live far from New York, but I decided to get around to buying the soundtrack last night. It’s one of the best things I’ve ever listened to.
I’m substitute teaching for a high school history class next week, and I’m so tempted to just play it. I won’t, because I’d be fired, but I will definitely mention Hamilton to some of the more theater-inclined kids.
Okay, despite my dislike for hip-hop and indifference to American history, you just made me listen to the soundtrack to this Hamilton thing everybody seems to love for strange elusive reasons and OH MY GOD. Erm. I think. I think I’m ready to join in the excitement. Someone give my plane tickets to New York?
See? It’s ludicrous how catchy and awesome it is! Even for people who don’t like hiphop! HOW DOES HE DO THAT?
That wiki description:
“…And Peggy.”
Perfect. Almost makes me wonder if the page was hacked by a Hamilfan
Wait, why is your cat named Eliza if not for Eliza Schuyler Hamilton?!
Pygmalion.
Ah! Have you taught her to be a proper lady?
no but if she had slippers, I hope she would throw them at insufferable men.
Splendid!
I was so excited when I saw the announcement about Chicago–my boyfriend has family in and near Chicago, so it will make a perfect excuse for a visit. Plus maybe I can talk his mom and stepdad into coming, too. (I’m so glad I like my boyfriend’s family.)
And then I’ll see it again when it’s in Portland, where I actually live. Yes.
Maybe seeing it twice will make up for not seeing it with the original cast. I’m sure they’ll have wonderful people in those roles.
Re: using the restroom at intermission for Hamilton. Hey all, here’s my little secret (and promise you won’t tell too many people because that will ruin it for us in the know): at intermission, pop right outside the door and walk next door to the Marriott Marquis. Take the escalator up one floor to the second floor lobby. There are two sets of restrooms on on every floor and no one will be there. You will get back to your Hamilton seat in plenty of time to get a drink at the bar or buy a t-shirt or just break down in tears with your seatmate over how happy you are to be there. The Marquis Theater is currently showing the Gloria Estefan musical, but its intermission doesn’t match up with Hamilton’s, so you should be in the clear. Empty your bladder and enjoy (weep through) the second act. You’re welcome.
HOW DID I MISS THIS BEFORE MEL TELL ME EVERYTHING
p.s. are you sure it was her necklace and not her signature crystal heart dangly earring given to her by Tai Babilonia?
A NICE IAMBIC SONNET
sigh. I love her and you and I'm so JEALOUS, all I want in life now is to be Kristi Yamaguchi's ghostpoet.