hold the handkerchief a little higher, dear
you’re very nearly touching me
why don’t you all just crawl in here with me
jesus i can’t even die alone
even shirtless lounging doesn’t help anything
wait
come back
i’m thirsty and i don’t want to get up
perfectly comfortable, thanks for asking
this is how i like to relax
with literally all of my weight resting on my right elbow
wheeee
is that enough
is that what you want
you vulture
why bother moving
nothing else will be any more comfortable
uuuugh
i don’t deserve spinal support
These are all like me when I have an IV put in. It makes me feel cold and icky and I can’t rest.
You are a nurse. You kept an IV into me for 3 days. My bone was broken and I had to have surgery. I had to be there. After the anesthesiologist told me to forget about it, the orthorpaedic residents who reset my bones performed the surgery , you were there when I woke. And it hurt. When I wanted to talk to somebody, you were there. When my body wasn’t working the way I would wish it to, you were there. You dropped by room to speak when you sensed I needed company and you left me alone when I needed to be alone. A nurse. THANK YOU BIG TIME.
Oh dang, I think I’ve been reclining in hammocks wrong all my life.
For some reason I literally always sit or lay like a nymph with a broken back in a painting. Like when I try to sit like a normal person I can’t sit still, and it’s hard to find desks with big, sturdy drawers you can keep a foot in.
Lute guy looks ready to seize his moment there
Yes he does! “She’s immobilized now I can finally play ‘Wonderwall’ at her!”
Dad doesn’t seem to like it. Hopefully he’ll make him stop.
In fact, ha! look at his eyes in the giant version. Dad is thinking “How many verses can one song have?”
How Liza Loved the King
This is probably the first time Dad has been unable to get up and leave once the lute comes out.
Oh god. Today *was* gonna be the day, but they’ll never throw it back to me.
Death by Luting. that poor woman 🙁
For real though, I love this kind of art because it’s the place I most often see my own body shape in female subjects. I get a real shock of like whoa, that human looks just like me! I thought I was the only one!
I knooooooooooooooow.
Also, every time I’m about ready to get a haircut one of these shows up, and everyone’s long hair just looks so good that I’m, like, nah.
YES! Sometimes when I’m feeling a little iffy about my shape, I think, “Nah, girl, you’re a painting, a sculpture.” Then I get some serious strutting on. 🙂
All of these are me, except maybe the first one, which is clearly that woman in the bed is dying and her husband is currently fucking the nanny in the chair and had a kid with her, but they’re all just pretending they’re a big happy family.
Great, now I want a hammock to lie miserably in, the couch and the bed just won’t cut it anymore. uuuuugh
I HAVE a hammock hahaha I bet you’re jealous. Except I have never lain in it as miserably as these women. Tip: your head goes in the hammock, both shoulders go in the hammock, your butt goes in the hammock, and both legs and feet go in the hammock.
@#5: Potter!
Oh my God, you are right. Someone put a fancy dress on Daniel Radcliffe’s ancestor and painted a picture.
Please, someone, identify this painting. Man hands, 5-o’clock shadow., sloped shoulders, satin gown, thighs to die for. I wanna know more about this portrait subject and the artist.
Portrait of a Lady
John Singleton Copley (United States, 1738-1815)
Los Angeles County Museum of Art
“The closest one can come to the identity of the lady is the earliest known owner of the painting, a granddaughter of Hester Thrale who married the fourth marquis of Lansdowne in 1843.”
No more info on the museum’s page or comment on the lady depicted. Hm.
(Source: http://collections.lacma.org/node/251662)
Just right-click search Google for image. The artist is John Singleton
Copley, and the curator notes here (http://collections.lacma.org/node/251662) say:
The closest one can come to the identity of the lady is the earliest known owner of the painting, a granddaughter of Hester Thrale who married the fourth marquis of Lansdowne in 1843.
Thanks for the information. I know that many painters did use men as models back then and Copley actually has a square named after him in Boston. I have just wondered about the anatomy. Was Sargent the first American painter to ever actually try to paint a woman as women are?
I was thinking more Jerry Seinfeld myself.
Honestly looks like Kevin McDonald to me.
earliest recorded occurance of “steve buscemi eyes”.
The polyjuice potion is juuuuust beginning to wear off….
For #2, did they move that poor woman’s bed outside?!
I’m thirsty and I don’t want to get up.
Yup.
Me, forever
Came here to say that
Me, currently and always, as well.
Also related to I have to pee but that means getting up and ugh.
I have to pee and I’m thirsty, but there’s this cat on my lap…
that ruffly lacey dress in that rope hammock, I am itchy just looking at it!
Look this is just my face alright? I’m not miserable, nothings wrong: I just don’t feel the need to contort my face into what you think looks like pleasure when I’m relaxing. This isn’t a glower, it’s just sunny out and nobody has invented some sort of sunglass yet.
#2 is totally thinking “Fucking Wonderwall.”
I am currently sick with a sinus infection and a terrible cough that means I can’t lie down so I spent last night propped up in a recliner with our younger cat draped over me and I’m just saying every single one of these speaks volumes to me right now.
Me too, but without the cat. There is no comfort to be had in any place or position.
I am just really happy that wiki/Category:Paintings_of_women_in_hammocks exists. I didn’t even know I needed this level of specificity in my life but there you go. Opening doors, Mallory.
I can’t figure out Spinal Support Lady’s legs. Is she wearing white leggings with bare feet? Does she have white legs and brown shoes? White stockings with brown shoes?
I think somebody added a couple of juggling pins when the artist looked away. No way those wooden feet match the luminous skin of that particular maiden.
Right? I was like, “wait, are those modern footless tights?”
Ah, giant image reveals that they are little boots (with no soles I guess? She needs to just stay in that hammock until her manservants arrive to carry her home in a sedan chair. Those precious kid leather booties should never touch the ground.) Maybe white stockings too.
(Link to a person’s flickr, the only giant version I could find.) https://www.flickr.com/photos/mbell1975/854533523…
She needs to just stay in that hammock until her manservants arrive to carry her home in a sedan chair. Those precious kid leather booties should never touch the ground.
new life goals.
The calves definitely don’t look like they’re attached to the rest of her at the correct angle. Probably a case of “oh shit I totally forgot to finish this comission, totally forgot what I mixed to get her skin tone, and what do calves look like anyway, oh well I’ll just slap something on there”
#5? That’s a man!
Maybe it is just Hamilton fever, but I thought she looked kinda like Lin-Manuel Miranda.
#5 is kind of how I pictured Maris from Frasier.
Shirtless lounging very often solves at least a couple of my problems. I can see why she’d try it before succumbing to despair.
perfectly comfortable, thanks for asking
this is how i like to relax
with literally all of my weight resting on my right elbow
Is it just me, or is this one actually Kevin McDonald in exquisite period drag?
YES I JUST SAID THIS
ME TOO!
Yes, these were all me when I was sick in bed a week ago.
Except for the part where they sleep with their arms over their heads. Who does that?? Oh wait, that’s right. My husband does, because that’s how I wake up to a random smack in the head in the middle of the night when he tries to roll over. (It’s only happened a couple times, honestly, but still. NOT COOL. Either sleep on your back with your arms crossed on your chest like a mummy or on your side curled up like a cat. You know, like normal people.)
#3 i dreamed of this thing called “air-conditioning” and I woke up to find it hasn’t been invented yet.
“I’m thirsty and I don’t want to get up” is pretty much 80% of why I’m in a relationship with the other 20% being “I want tacos but don’t want to put on a bra.”
No regrets.
I AM ALL OF THESE WOMEN RIGHT NOW.
As a figure model I’m pretty sure I’ve mistakenly done all these poses and ended up making all these faces.
Looking up the source of one of these paintings led me to one of the most ridiculous pictures I’ve seen yet: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hans_Thom… I don’t know what’s going on here, but I’m alarmed.
That’s brilliant.
That baby is just like, “Well, I guess this is my life now.”
Title: Riding the Bird (!!!)
Baby: That is totally a fully grown man’s head on a baby’s body, and it looks like William Blake. Who would definitely ride this bird and be half-grim about it.
WHAT A PAINTING is what I’m saying
Thoughtful of you to provide this while I’m sick. Now I can use them to imagine that I’m convalescing gracefully.
Replace the child in #6 with a cat and that is my life.
“Why must you be on my chest? Please stop wiping your wet nose on my face.”
That elbow lady looks like the woman who played the Wicked Witch in Wizard of Oz. Like, specifically as the mean old woman in Kansas.
Moral of these paintings: Tits out, ladies.
The fact that the first woman presumably used that man’s glove as a handkerchief certainly explains HIS expression.
“You vulture”
Big part of parenting, in a nutshell