46. Christians are to be taught that unless they have more than they need, they are bound to keep back what is necessary for their own families, and by no means to squander it on pardons.
“SORRY THERE’S NO BREAD FOR BREAD-BONE SOUP TONIGHT, SIMONLINGTON, I HAD TO BUY SOME HEAVEN-BUCKS TO KEEP GOD FROM GETTING MAD AT US”
47. Christians are to be taught that the buying of pardons is a matter of free will, and not of commandment.
WELL WHO IS GONNA TEACH THEM MARTY, NOT EVERYBODY CAN COME LOOK AT THIS DOOR
48. Christians are to be taught that the pope, in granting pardons, needs, and therefore desires, their devout prayer for him more than the money they bring.
LOTTA PASSIVE VOICE MAKIN ME NERVOUS YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THIS FOR YOU
49. Christians are to be taught that the pope’s pardons are useful, if they do not put their trust in them; but altogether harmful, if through them they lose their fear of God.
THIS IS LIKE TAKING YOUR KIDS TO MCDONALD’S AND ONLY LETTING THEM GET MILK I FEEL LIKE??
50. Christians are to be taught that if the pope knew the exactions of the pardon-preachers, he would rather that St. Peter’s church should go to ashes, than that it should be built up with the skin, flesh and bones of his sheep.
WILL SOMEONE KINDLY DRAW ME A PICTURE OF A CHURCH MADE OF SHEEP BONES AND SKULLS? “THE METAL POPE”
51. Christians are to be taught that it would be the pope’s wish, as it is his duty, to give of his own money to very many of those from whom certain hawkers of pardons cajole money, even though the church of St. Peter might have to be sold.
I KNOW THE POPE WOULD AGREE WITH ME IF HE REALIZED WHAT THINGS ARE LIKE OUT HERE, HONESTLY HE WOULD BE WILLING TO SELL ROME IF HE HAD TO
52. The assurance of salvation by letters of pardon is vain, even though the commissary, nay, even though the pope himself, were to stake his soul upon it.
MAKING A LOT OF PROMISES ON THE POPE’S BEHALF RIGHT NOW, MY GUY?? LIKE MAYBE CHECK WITH HIM FIRST, IDK
53. They are enemies of Christ and of the pope, who bid the Word of God be altogether silent in some Churches, in order that pardons may be preached in others.
COZYING UP TO THE POPE NOW, GOOD MOVE AFTER ALL THAT “ME AND THE POPE ARE SUPER CLOSE AND I KNOW WHAT HE WOULD SAY IF HE WERE HERE SO THIS IS TOTALLY COOL FOR ME TO SAY”
54. Injury is done the Word of God when, in the same sermon, an equal or a longer time is spent on pardons than on this Word.
“YOU GUYS ARE HITTING THE BIBLE, SO”
55. It must be the intention of the pope that if pardons, which are a very small thing, are celebrated with one bell, with single processions and ceremonies, then the Gospel, which is the very greatest thing, should be preached with a hundred bells, a hundred processions, a hundred ceremonies.
I don’t want any of you to make a more cowbell joke
56. The “treasures of the Church,” out of which the pope grants indulgences, are not sufficiently named or known among the people of Christ.
I WILL FIND THEM
57. That they are not temporal treasures is certainly evident, for many of the vendors do not pour out such treasures so easily, but only gather them.
DON’T QUITE UNDERSTAND THIS ONE BUT IT HAS THE CADENCE OF A BURN
58. Nor are they the merits of Christ and the Saints, for even without the pope, these always work grace for the inner man, and the cross, death, and hell for the outward man.
OK THIS IS SARCASTIC, I GET THAT MUCH AT LEAST
59. St. Lawrence said that the treasures of the Church were the Church’s poor, but he spoke according to the usage of the word in his own time.
DID THE EXPRESSION “POOR PEOPLE” REALLY CHANGE MEANING IN 1300 YEARS THOUGH?
60. Without rashness we say that the keys of the Church, given by Christ’s merit, are that treasure.
“Don’t worry, whenever anyone was talking about poor people w/r/t Jesus Christ, it was a metaphor” WHERE HAVE I HEARD THIS BEFORE
I enjoy the “Prime Minister’s Question Time” vibe to Luther’s comments here about the Pope. “Man, if His Holiness knew what was going on, I’m sure that as the Vicar of Christ, he’d be absolutely horrified, since there’s all sorts of heresy and shit going down out here. Since he’s not horrified, he must not be aware of the current state of Christendom, QED. I would like to inform His Holiness that people are obviously using his name to extort money from the faithful, which practice I’m sure he’ll immediately curtail, now that he knows about it.”
Speaking of things the Pope does/doesn’t know, would this be a good place to discuss developments in the Vatican/Rob Lowe storyline of “You, Me, and the Apocalypse” last night? Because OH MY GOD. BRUTAL!
“The chair recognizes the honorable gentleman from Wittenberg.”
this week in things crawlkill would’ve thought the theses would feature, maybe a little sharper tone? I mean he seems like he’s okay with indulgences as long as they’re a side biz and not the main course? that was quite the mixed metaphor I was gonna make a reference to the way The Big Short discusses subprime mortgage bonds being hidden from the bookkeeping of Wall Street firms because they were essentially concealed but were in fact the main event of their accounts and then veered off into food maybe it’s lunch time
rereading this post I recognize I may be short on legs to stand on when it comes to criticizing Luther for getting distracted while thesing these theses
I think (Catholics/Church historians please correct me if I’m wrong here!) that any kind of penitence is technically an indulgence (or possibly leads to indulgence), even though the phrase has more commonly come to refer to the corrupt kind. So some priests were selling indulgences by accepting money instead of requiring other kinds of penitence. Giving alms or giving to the Church (as opposed to giving to the priest) could still be valid penitence.
IIRC – and I’ve not been Catholic in a while so this may be wrong – an indulgence is a pardon for venial sins without full confession. So instead of listing each specific time you’ve coveted your neighbour’s ass so the priest can work out exactly how many Aves it comes to, you get a blanket absolution, conditional only on none of your sins being mortal ones.
Catholicism is fucking weird
Only 35 more theses to go! The suspense is intense — what will Marty say next week? How’s the Pope going to 100% agree with Marty next, if only he knew? What’s the exciting new indictment of pardons?
(I am going to be sad when this series is done. Perhaps a review of the 39 Articles next??)
Review of Calvin’s Institutes, please and thank you.
OHHHH!!! Or the Catechism. Don’t care which one. (But please Westminster)
Baltimore or gtfo
Them’s fightin’ words (but not really, religious warfare is no good, mmkay?)
Heidelberg all the way.
59. St. Lawrence said that the treasures of the Church were the Church’s poor, but he spoke according to the usage of the word in his own time.
DID THE EXPRESSION “POOR PEOPLE” REALLY CHANGE MEANING IN 1300 YEARS THOUGH?
WELL ACTUALLY, St. Lawrence was kinda being a smart ass while avoiding paying taxes when he said that.
You’re setting me up all over the place today, Mallory: Shameless St. Lawrence piece plug
Mallory, I took an entire course on The Reformation and this is the first time I’ve read these. Please don’t tell my history prof, I think she’ll be very cross with me.
METAL POPE
This is making me wish that Mallory had taught my confirmation classes. The program was called Super Tuesday, and it took 3 freaking years. If Lutherans had indulgences, i would have paid any amount of money to get out of that.
Don’t forget the Capuchin crypt in Rome! https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Capuchin_…
The one and only time I have ever been in Rome, I was eight, and we took a special trip just to the Capuchin crypt, at my request.
It was SO worth it. Sedlec is definitely on my bucket list, as is that hill in Lithuania with nine bajillion crosses.
I’ve been to that hill! It’s as amazing as the pictures make it seem. I hardly ever see anyone mention it.
I think 57 paraphrases as “the treasures of the church that they’re talking about can’t be money, because if they already had money why are they making people pay for indulgences?”
Hi, practicing Catholic here. The Church grants indulgences for all kinds of spiritual practices, but after Vatican II, there are specific acts of piety that earn a plenary or partial indulgence, like an Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament or following the Stations of the Cross during Lent.
DON’T QUITE UNDERSTAND THIS ONE BUT IT HAS THE CADENCE OF A BURN
This is my general impression of all 95 theses, I just cannot understand Martin’s sentence construction. Christians are to be taught that it is my wish, as it is also my duty, to declare that the ridiculously complicated clauses bandied about by certain hawkers of Theses is something up with which I will not put!
Oooh, the ossuary at Kutna Hora! I've been there! I was expecting to find the place cool in a gothy/metal way, but in addition to that it was weirdly peaceful? Like, I am the least religious person ever and even I noticed the vibes.
At least, until Mom pulled out her anthropology major and insisted on divining the gender and age at death of all the skulls she could see. This may not be Peak Mom behavior in general, but it's definitely the most herself MY mom has ever been.
“56. The “treasures of the Church,” out of which the pope grants indulgences, are not sufficiently named or known among the people of Christ.
I WILL FIND THEM”
Somehow this just made me think of the ~cinematic masterpiece~ National Treasure, except with Mallory in the leading role, which would surely improve it immeasurably.
Your mom sounds awesome.
"The chair recognizes the honorable gentleman from Wittenberg."
Heidelberg all the way.
I haven’t the slightest idea how to embed images here, but Cartoon Pope seems like he’d want to sit down and hash this out with Brother Martin over a beer. http://ncronline.org/blogs/francis-chronicles/fra…
ETA: Oh wait, got it!