I’m a gamer. I’m really into games. I’m hardcore into tag.
I’m just saying that if a woman wants to play Heads Up Seven Up, she needs to understand Heads Up Seven Up culture.
What are you, some kind of fake Tiddlywinks girl? Get out of this forum.
I got into Pick-Up Sticks because women didn’t want to talk to me, and now they’re just pretending to be into it because it’s cool? I hate these bitches.
Only a SELECT MINORITY of jump ropers are harassing women, please don’t lump us all together.
Hundreds of millions of people play Capture the Flag. Here are 140 links to help you better understand the situation.
There are no women in Funnel ball. This is an egregious attack by feminist bullies on a game I’ve played for 20 years.
No one cares that you’re a girl playing Mumblety-peg, you just shouldn’t advertise that you’re a girl playing Mumblety-peg. People only specify “girl Mumblety-peg player” to get attention.
If Red Rover is as toxic to women as the SJWs are saying, how come 50% of Red Rover players are women?
Oh, so female Hopscotch players can demand all Hopscotch boards can be drawn with them in mind, with fucking PINK CHALK or something, but I call them out on it and I’m “cis male scum”? Reverse sexism.
If Musical Chairs actually catered to women they’d hate it because they wouldn’t get to play the victim anymore.
Misandry is going to create pro-male bias where it didn’t previously exist. Rock-Paper-Scissors players now have to act like gender warriors, when all they wanted to do was play Rock-Paper-Scissors in peace.
Feminists control everything. This just proves that we need a by-men-for-men Patty Cake community. We need to insulate ourselves against feminist lies…about Patty Cake.
Stop derailing the conversation. This isn’t about harassing women, but about exposing the nepotistic relationships between corrupt Hot Potato journalism and the Hot Potato developers.
THE FLOOR IS MADE OF HOT LAVA AND THE GIRLS ARE RUINING IT.
Tags: are people really calling it gamergate, jaya saxena, video games
Duck Duck Goose is fucking misandrist. Why don’t these women ever play Duck Duck Gander?
Drake Drake Gander.
(I am terrible, yes.)
Come to Minnesota and you can play Duck Duck Grey Duck in women-free peace.
If you can’t handle intense sustained full body contact, then maybe Sardines isn’t the game for you! It’s not my fault you can’t handle it.
Females just can’t play Red Light, Green Light, 1-2-3, because of evolution. Their tiny lady muscles are too small, and they just haven’t evolved to be agile enough.
There’s a reason it’s “patty cake, patty cake, baker’s man” not “patty cake, patty cake, baker’s person”.
WAKE UP SHEEPLE. The feminists will capture you and make you their cake-slave!
The feminists will capture you and make you their cake-slave!
This is like the Bizarro world version of Fat Princess!
I want a cake-slave. Assuming that is someone who will make me cake whenever I want cake.
I have a cookie-slave, and I will tell you this: It’s great.
Actually, one of those would be more useful because I can make cakes but I cannot make a decent cookie to save my life.
(“WAKE UP SHEEPLE” never fails to make me laugh out loud.)
Every time I see someone say “WAKE UP SHEEPLE” non-ironically (or ironically), I think of this absolutely priceless xkcd.
If someone made a t-shirt that said Fake Tiddlywinks Girl on it I would wear it constantly.
*slams hand down on the ‘I second this so hard’ button*
THIRD also maybe “Fake Freeze Tag Girl”
ON IT, if I get Jaya’s ok.
gentle whisper to please include plus sizes because I will totally buy this 100% legit
YEP I’MMA DO IT
PLEEEEEASE also make one that from one of the comments below: “Social Justice Siren — luring men in to their dooms”. I will seriously pay you money for this shirt, as well as many of my colleagues, I imagine.
WAIT WAIT WAIT ICEBERGMAMA can you also put the yellow M is for Misandry on a yellow T-shirt?! Or just any M is for Misandry on a T-shirt? Because then I will throw money at your etsy shop with both hands. (I would get the print ones, but I’ve got no more space on my walls for hanging stuff up, and also I just want to wear M is for Misandry emblazoned on my chest everywhere I go.)
oh this is a FANTASTIC IDEA!!!
Ooh ooh ooh! Fake Boggle Girl and/or Fake Scrabble Girl, with a picture of a Boggle or Scrabble game board spelling out “MISANDRY”!
[Current News Story] + “Gate” = Pearl Clutching Scandal
This must be the laziest way of upping the drama of a [current news story].
*This*, that first line, this is what I want on a tee shirt.
this is a wonderful post, Jaya.
Look, I know the statistics say females play games but do you ever see them playing real games that require strategy like “Father May I?” No, they’re all playing casual games, like tetherball or whatever bullshit is out there nowadays.
It’s What’s the Time MISTER Wolf?
Scaring my coworkers with my cackleshriek because I’ve met no one since I left gradeschool who knew that game. For the longest time I thought it was a Delaware thing. …Is it a Delaware thing?
Nah, we played it in Saskatchewan. So unless Delaware is bigger than previously thought…
(We are all Delaware. All hail Delaware.)
Delaware also includes south-east England. It’s huge!
And New Zealand. Delaware is everywhere and everything
We call it “Midnight” here in Northern Nevada. And we love it.
And the girls always win.
Soon these feminist doomsday claptrappers are going to turn it into “What’s the Time, Virginia Woolf?” and then where will we be?! These shenanigans are putting the masculine art of clockmaking out of business!
social justice warriors complaining about female representation in games always conveniently FORGET about characters like MISS MARY MACK, I’m not saying feminism is a CONSPIRACY OF LIES but it makes you think
I have a series of 30-minute long YouTube videos EXPOSING the LIES and CORRUPTION of Miss Mary Mack, pls like comment subscribe
*tweets a series of rambling, accusatory messages to the creators of Miss Mary Mack from a shell Twitter account with one follower and an egg icon*
no response huh
didn’t think so
Replace ‘egg’ with ‘anime’ and you’re golden
Extra points if the user description is “I’m a female woman feminist who is definitely not a man”
Uh, that’s *Ms.* Mary Mack.
LIKELIKELIKE
You are my internet hero for the day. Bless you.
Internet Hero for the Day. Putting that on my resume. Sincere thanks.
I have no jokes to add, just a question that has been plaguing me my whole life: How does one actually play funnel ball? I’m assuming it is a game associated with those things every playground has where you toss a ball into the thing and it comes out one of the four funnels, but I have never seen anyone ever actually play a game with it.
Then again, I also learned, like, two weeks ago how to actually play tether ball, so maybe I missed that day in kindergarten where they teach you how to play all of these games?
I have never in my life actually seen anyone play funnel ball.
Mostly people avoid it because the spiders that spin the funnel balls are the most poisonous.
P. sure the way to play tetherball is to try and punch the ball so hard it chips your opponent’s tooth.
Is that not right? Maybe my brother taught me the wrong rules.
That happened to me the day before my elementary school graduation ceremony. Apparently I was playing it wrong – you are not supposed to try to stop the ball with your face.
I have never heard of funnel ball! Like this is the first time I’ve ever heard of something called funnel ball, here, on this website.
It, like tetherball, often stood unloved on the playground as we stared at them from afar because what the fuck do you even do?
At least in tetherball you got to try to break someone’s face or something. That was the point, right?
tetherball is awesome and I wish they had one at work to play on breaks. I have never heard of funnel ball, though.
Oh, those things. I thought those things were just for looking desolate and vaguely menacing on empty playgrounds.
I thought the funnels were for yelling into?
Is it like/supposed to be tunnelball? You all stand in a line, facing the same direction, legs apart, the person at the front throws a ball down between everyone’s legs, the person at the end picks it up, runs to the front, repeat?
Do it in teams, the first team to do a certain number of pushes through wins?
I read ‘Funnel ball’ as being what we call ‘Tunnel ball’. You have a couple of teams of 5-10 people stand in a line behind each other. Everyone stands with their legs apart to create a tunnel. The person at the front of each line has a ball and they roll it through their legs down the line between everyone’s legs. The person at the back picks it up and runs to the front then rolls it down the line again. Repeat until the First person is at the front again. First team to finish wins.
I feel deeply validated now. Thank you, everyone.
It’s this thing! (I have never played it)
Why do you think tic tac toe is played with ‘X’s? Why not ‘Y’s? Just more #feminazi #SJW #misandry, #smdh
(Psst it’s SJW, not SWJ.)
Yes, people are really calling it GamerGate, though I would hestitate to call some of them people.
Can we discuss how awesome the term Social Justice Warrior is? As if that’s not a cool thing to be.
“The Romans feared and respected the social justice warriors of transalpine Gaul, who rode war chariots and painted their bodies blue with woad, and who practiced equal primogeniture.”
I love it so much. Exactly which of those words is meant to be pejorative? We sound like super heroes.
It’s pretty nerfed on social media; way better to play Social Justice Barbarian, a lot of the literacy skills are blocked off but you can rage once a day
Social Justice Monk. Stunning blow comes in handy.
What about Social Justice Druid? That way I can transform into a bear and an ent.
Would rolling a Social Justice Paladin be too literal? Devotion to the cause, heavy armor for tanking through the storms of bullshit, high carrying capacity to better help shoulder the burdens of your allies.
Whatever, I’ll do it anyway. I’m here to cast heal when one of the trolls breaks through the bulwarks.
Of course, Social Justice Bards have always been a crucial part of the process. I mean, I wouldn’t put them out on the front lines, but every party needs someone to inspire the allies and impress the enemy, right?
*wanders off, singing “We Shall Overcome”*
TheOtherWench, I read that as Social Justice Padawan, which I have decided to refer to myself as from now on.
I nominate Social Justice Shieldmaiden, and I’m so adding it to my profiles. I blame Tolkien, myself…
Social Justice Mage. You cast distraction spells on the patriarchy, and heal your own party while the patriarchy wanders around after the pretty lights.
I’m a Social Justice Warlord, tweeting ’bout triggers from my technical
I am literally Social Justice Commander (Shepard, but it’s too long) on Twitter, and have been for weeks.
Social Justice Arcanist – let me just magically renew your laptop battery so you may continue debating on the internets. <3
Yeah, it is like totally a compliment.
Yeah, I.. kind of like the term too, even though they mean it pejoratively. My career arc is currently a mishmash of bouncing around at nonprofit and socially progressive orgs, and I feel like SJW would easily sum it up at a networking event.
Now thinking about invoking the Trung Sisters and putting something like this on a card w/ “[RK Fire], Social Justice [Druid/Paladin/etc.]”:
Frankly, I LOVE it. Join me in the quest to reclaim the term “Social Justice Warrior”!
I read something recently (can’t recall where now…) where someone signed off as a “Social Justice Druid” and a friend and I had a great discussion about what kinds of warriors and/or mythical beings we would be in the name of social justice. My pick was SOCIAL JUSTICE VIKING because BERSERKERS, while she went with “Social Justice Siren — luring men in to their dooms”.
Holy shit, both of those are fantastic. Given that my job frequently involves taking down corrupt, lying pieces-of-shit cops and DAs (most of whom so far have been men), I would looooooooooove this on a T-shirt. Seriously, if no one makes this T-shirt I will probably just scrawl it across my chest in sharpie.
I feel like at this point Nicole and Mallory should just open a Toast Cafepress shop. Except then we’d all be broke.
yes to cafepress or whatever they want. all my dollars. and that would be fine. also, pls elaborate on job. kthksbye.
I really loved how, after she posted all those “secret” IRC logs, Zoe Quinn declared herself to be a Social Justice Rogue.
If I could do art, I would totally do a SJW shirt with a woman done up in, like, Braveheart facepaint with a big broadsword raised. That’s totally what it makes me envision.
Clearly I need to make it back to The Toast more often on the weekends:
Some people are calling it #gameghazi, although I can’t work out whose side they are on.
(I think most of the people calling it #gameghazi are making fun of the way both groups are finding it difficult to locate the OBVIOUS! CONSPIRACIES! they are alleging.)
I especially liked #QuinnGhazi
MY SWORD SLASHES PATRIARCHY
IT’S +2 AGAINST MANSPLAINING.
I love all you guys in this thread.
Bless you, Jaya.
But no seriously. BLESS YOU JAYA.
The blocked comments on this are going to be beautiful.
Petition to have an entire entry filled with highlights from the blocked comments.
Seconded.
Infinitied.
Oh god oh yes.
“THE FLOOR IS MADE OF HOT LAVA AND THE GIRLS ARE RUINING IT.” omg Jaya omg
perfect ending right?
That line is so perfect, I can’t even.
Where are the MSPaint charts detailing the conspiracy to silence tic-tac-toe players, I can’t understand anything without charts
You don’t see us trying to horn in on Miss Mary Mack, do you?
ETA: Oh, damn. hurdyburdy invoked Miss Mary Mack & did it better.
Though, you know she’d totally go for it, right?
No, but this is perfect, because gamerbros always invoke the same, like, five female protagonists to argue there’s plenty of representation of women in games, so you’re just being EXTRA META.
Don’t forget, boys. Girls have all the power in our society, and they know it. Think about how emasculated you are the next time you ask Mother May I.
Sincerely, Men Going Their Own Way (At Recess, Towards the Kickball Field)
when I was in early elementary school the three girls in my year played a single game at recess, and how you played it was you picked a boy and you chased him as if you were several border collies and he a fleet-footed sheep. you chased him like the devil. What did you do with him when you got him? I don’t remember that that was part of the game. Probably we lost interest and found another boy. Boys did not like to play this game but they did not have the simple wit not to run away when we turned our gaze upon them, so they played in spite of themselves.
all good preparation for their later lives of subjugation anyhow
!!!!! There is a story for that.
THE BEST STORY
oh man all I ever read of Nina Kiriki Hoffman was a story called “Savage Breasts” which I cannot possibly adequately describe (oh, OK, I can try: a woman gives in to the lure of questionable breast enhancement products and her boobs punch a guy out in the elevator. there’s more to it but it’s been years since I read it.) This one’s good too!
even if it is stolen from my real life
I read that story, and it was pretty great.
eta: It’s so weird that I wondered if I had hallucinated it until I saw you’d read it too.
That’s awesome. I probably shouldn’t comment on how it may or may not reflect any childhood fantasies I did or didn’t have.
This story is amazing, thank you so much for the link 🙂
Are you secretly Allie Brosh?
BUT BRO DO YOU CAKE??
Yessssssssss
This is brilliant. Well played, madam, well played.
I would buy a shirt for every day of the week if the next round of Toast Merch just said stuff like “fake tiddlywinks girl” on it.
While this whole thing has my ire up something fierce overall, I could not help taking immense joy in watching everyone scramble like cockroaches in a suddenly-lit trash warehouse when Zoe Quinn posted all the screenshots of the IRC she had been lurking in for weeks to reveal the true nature of the attacks on herself and others.
I spent the entire day cackling. IT WAS SO GREAT.
I’m on it babe
are you? I like the stuff in your etsy shop (unsure if you subscribe so this could be tooooo laaaaate) but prefer wearable ridiculous things to ridiculous things I would have a hard time explaining to my employer. The F and I postcards would work, but the M would probably not.
I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE FURY AMONGST DUDEBRO MALE GAMERS ABOUT DEPRESSION QUEST
DEPRESSION QUEST IS THE MOST INNOCUOUS GAME
IT’S NOT EVEN REALLY A GAME
Like okay I don’t understand any of the fury amongst male gamers except the most basic “this is my Dudething and you are getting your vagina all over it” motivations but how is a choose your own adventure browser game about someone’s (ostensibly a guys’!) depression threatening to male gamers
I would kinda avoid saying something is “not a game” at this point, especially since that is kind of the rhetoric these people prescribe too, and it’s mostly just because it doesn’t fit the model of “commercial video games” more than anything else.
(Sorry, it really gets in my craw when someone says something is not a game. Text adventures were actually the first video games, sooooo.)
Oh I know, I absolutely think it’s a game too! I almost exclusively play pretty non-commercial games and actually really liked Depression Quest. But I definitely don’t think it fits in with what these douchey dudebros think is really “a game”, which is why I’m so confused about why it apparently upsets them so deeply that it even exists, even before they made up all this bullshit about her and the Kotaku writer.
Something so experimental and insightful usually doesn’t even fall under their radar, especially when it arguably wouldn’t even catch their attention content-wise. I don’t think this particular group of people is down with introspection, inclusivity, and sensitivity, unfortunately.
I think that’s kind of the point (if you want to call such petulant whinging a point), though? The reason that they’re so angry is that this gross girl is getting her gross girl germs all over their super manly hobby by mucking it up with feelings and other gross girly stuff. The sign on the door clearly said NO GIRLS ALLOWED, CAN’T SHE EVEN READ >>>:(
PHEW.
As to why they care if they don’t think it’s a game, I think that’s pretty easy to answer: this whole thing isn’t really about games, it’s about terrorizing women out of the industry so nothing changes. I mean, the IRC documents explicitly show that the people behind it are basically using it as a cover to explicitly target Zoe in particular.
And it’s *always been free*
THOSE SCREENSHOTS OUR FAKE. OUR SCREENSHOTS ARE TOTES REAL, THOUGH.
-dummies
A+ gif usage 😀
HOW CAN U PLAY ‘TELEPHONE’ OBJECTIVELY WHEN U ASSOCIATE WITH THE OTHER PLAYERS AT RECESS
HOW CAN U SAY COURTNEY’S RULES FOR CHECKERS ARE THE RIGHT ONES WHEN U GOT TO GO TO THAT TOTALLY KICK-ASS SLEEPOVER AT HER HOUSE WHILE HER PARENTS WERE OUT OF TOWN BUT I WASN’T EVEN INVITED
THIS IS ABOUT ETHICS IN CHECKERS
would you please stop throwing eggs at Courtney’s house, it makes a mess and it wastes eggs
HOW DARE U FOCUS ON THE 1% OF THE TIME WHEN I’M THROWING EGGS AT COURTNEY’S HOUSE AND IGNORE THE 99% OF THE TIME I’M TALKING ABOUT ETHICS
COURTNEY EGGED HER OWN HOUSE TO GET ATTENTION, SHE’S A PROFESSIONAL VICTIM
What? What pile of empty egg cartons? Oh, this pile of empty egg cartons? I was just…making souffles. For orphans. It was souffle day at the orphanage, look whatever you’re implying here, I’m DEEPLY OFFENDED
How can we trust anything Courtney says when everyone knows SHE HAS COOTIES???
We need an Ayn Rand view on playground games, please please please Mallory.
I totally missed whatever this is and am now furtively googling. I’m betting it has something to do with people saying stupid shit, but I COULD BE WRONG.
[edit: Does reading twitter conversations make anyone else feel really, really old? This seems to be one place that the tech/social overlap has really left me behind.
Anyway. Wow. Bunch of bullshit. Glad she got to flip it.]
Pro tip: YOU’RE NOT WRONG
I’m fine with twitter conversations, but Tumblr makes me feel like an alien. THAT IS NOT A CONVERSATION. THAT IS A HUGE PILE OF RANDOM NOTES YOU HAVE TO PAGE THROUGH TO GET TO, LIKE, THREE COMMENTS.
I could never get into Tumblr because of this very reason. My friends would say, “Did you see what X wrote on Tumblr?” and I’d be like “HOW CAN YOU EVEN FIND WHAT X SAID IN THIS GIANT THREAD REBLOGGED THIRTY-SEVEN TIMES”
Tumblr makes me feel like An Old, but I have one anyway because I Try Too Hard.
Red Rover is so scary, though. Can we talk about how scary Red Rover is?
It was eventually banned at my school.
Mine too.
Yep. See also British Bulldog.
Same. After the SECOND person broke their arm and collar bone and had to have surgery to get pins in his arm. (After the first kid who had to get surgery/pins they were still like, eh, lightning doesn’t strike twice, right?!?)
I lost my two front teeth playing RR (they were loose, but still). Scariest game.
ugh yes. my childhood is scarred by the sound of my best friend’s shoulder being popped out of its socket because the boy next to her REFUSED to let the chain break.
D: D: D:
oh god oh god oh god noooooo
I was actually never allowed to play Red Rover as a kid because my dad broke his finger playing it at Boy Scout camp at age nine. After hearing about that I had no interest in playing it, allowed or not.
What the hell kind of Red Rover do Boy Scouts play??
Hardcore, apparently! Hardcore enough to break a finger in two places!
Boy Scouts is about 25% basic outdoor competence 75% finding ways to mutilate each other
100% about finding other things to do than masturbate.
yyyyeah I don’t think that ever worked out
Except for the parts where you’re masturbating in a tent.
Red Rover made me feel NOT GOOD IN MY TUMMY. Worse than dodgeball, even.
Dodgeball still makes me feel like D:
It was mandatory to play, and mandatory that I take off my glasses to play so the school wouldn’t be liable for them. I never knew where that ball would be coming from.
Oh sweet baby Jeebus, I hear you; coke bottle glasses that I couldn’t break otherwise Misery From Parent coupled with being such a weird little kid that my head was the bulls-eye for every little hater meant I couldn’t take off my glasses because I had to see in order to defend myself and I pissed my pants (figuratively, thank God) going between The Horror of Broken Glasses vs. The Horror of a Broken Face.
Fuck, I hated gym class. Oh, and fuck Red Rover too, for the same aforementioned reasons.
I took a dodgeball to the face in eighth grade and it broke the nose piece off of my glasses. Assholes.
Mom let me get contacts that summer.
The only thing dodgeball teaches anyone is that boys can hurl the damn ball as hard as they can at girls’ faces, and the girls are spoilsports if they object.
This is why I joined the fencing team, and took to hitting boys in the nuts. Whenever they’d get upset, I’d just shrug and say “Nuts are on target, and I guess you shoulda worn a cup then.”
VENGEANCE WAS MINE, AND IT WAS SWEET.
You are the best.
So it teaches them patriarchy, basically.
It’s kind of good training though. Oh, do you want to break free of stifling social norms? It MIGHT cost you an arm, and you should go for the knees, but it’s totally worth it.
One time, when we were eighteen or nineteen, my then best friend sustained a wrist injury from playing Red Rover at a cast party for a community theater production of Grease that was so bad that I spent the rest of the night asking her if she was sure she didn’t want me to take her to the hospital. Don’t worry, she was fine. Honestly, the worst part is that this wasn’t even her dumbest wrist injury (she once broke her wrist with her own head).
I broke my arm playing Red Rover in fourth grade, while my mom was helping set up for a Valentine’s party inside. Apparently I have just always been a super baby about pain, because when I ran in there crying, she told me to go calm down, and then I cried through the whole party, and then for an hour or so at home before my mom grudgingly took me off to the after-hours clinic. Then the doctor who looked at my x-rays said it was a good thing he was wearing his glasses that day or else he wouldn’t have been able to see the break. Jerk.
And its cousin, British Bulldog.
Red Rover is meant to be scary? I always made a calculated run at the weakest person (Eric F., who was scrawny and smart and had value in computer class but not in Red Rover), and broke the chain through intimidation, so maybe I was playing it wrong. Or right.
I was always the link that broke :crying_cat_face:
This is why your kids should be lifting from sitting.
Noooo, I loved Red Rover. As a tall and fat child, I was undeniably Red Rover champion via the magic of intimidation. I was never any good at any of the other childhood games, so Red Rover holds a special place in my heart.
hahaha, I just had an epiphany as to why I loved Red Rover. Also a “sturdy” child, as my dad put it.
As a tall but mostly sharp-angled child I too loved Red Rover because damn if winning wasn’t about looking someone dead in the eye and making it clear that you are about to fuck their shit up and their only hope is to let you through. I tried to pick the people who I could attack with impunity- as in the big, the strong, the boys, especially the boys who were mean to people.
It is TERRIFYING. I have never been a particularly brave person when faced with physical danger, so I typically let go and did one of these: http://gifatron.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/ar…
#noregrets
It IS terrifying and I hated every single damn minute of it. What I don’t hate is your username: LOVE.
If we give up Red Rover based on our fears, how will uncoordinated children do flips? Don’t they deserve a chance at dangerous, unsupervised gymnastics?
THESE FAKERS ARE RUINING BALL-IN-A-CUP!
http://redqueenwildboy.tumblr.com/post/5426310993…
TOO REAL, JAYA. TOO REAL.
Mr. Cosmia works for a fairly large, well-known video game store franchise that I will avoid naming and this shit is so rampant with the people he works with it’s super gross, despite the fact that all his coworkers think they’re super enlightened bros because they really liked Bayonetta.
#FakeTiddlywinksGirl
standby
GAMERS TAKE HEED.
I let a girl join in on our game of pogs. She only had a plastic slammer so we had to use plastic slammers too. Then, everyone stopped playing EVERYWHERE. Video games are next. Wake up, sheeple!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXWiG2B4zk
THIS IS LIKE BENGHAZI BUT WORSE
needs more reverse vampires, tbh
REDDIT ADMINS ARE CLEARLY REVERSE VAMPIRES WHY DO YOU THINK THEY WIELD SO MUCH POWER OVER LARGE CORPORATE ENTITIES
Kotaku is run by the Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people.
If only we could get the saucer people together with the beaker folk! They’d be so good together.
we’re through the looking glass here, people
I for one welcome our corrupt media overlords.
“[I]s this even legal? You decide!”
Firm grasp of how the law works, here. Or maybe this is a presentation for a court case?
Remember Reddit thinks of themselves as a government, now. So…yes.
The always-on-point Samantha Allen busted this thing wide open.
#gamergategate
I’m sure that infographic is trying to make a point but I’m too distracted by the baby whose head is apparently a portal to another dimension.
I honestly can’t tell if this is a parody of the #GamerGate flowcharts or one someone has been sharing as an actual serious argument.
Which I guess gives me a warm fuzzy feeling about how little respect for the OMG CORRUPTION people I have in all this. Yay! Go me!
wow really makes u think
lol this was so great
Holy crap, this is perfect.
Revelation I had as I read: I used to collect marbles, but I did not play marbles. I think I was a fake marble gamer girl. IT WAS ME ALL ALONG.
I am the same! Even worse, I only collected the ones that had glitter or were very pretty. I WASN’T EVEN INTERESTED IN THE SLIGHTLY LESS BEAUTIFUL MARBLES.
Clearly, we are the reason marbles are no longer played widely.
Yeah, I did not bother with the PLAIN or UNATTRACTIVE, but MORALLY UPRIGHT and CHIVALROUS and SMART marbles myself, because women are cruel and only like the HOT, MEAN, STUPID marbles who mistreat them.
Yeah, I did the same thing. They were so pretty! And who the eff actually plays marbles?
I also collected the Star Trek Collectable Card Game cards (basically Magic in Star Trek form), but never played the actual game. I just liked having the pictures of all the various ships and aliens and ensigns and Data. I’m not sure if that makes me a fake geek girl, or just a geek, but a different sadder, kind of geek.
Pssh, pictures are pretty and card games are convoluted and lead to nothing greater than the mere beauty of cards. You were an aesthete who was misunderstood in your own time.
THANK YOU. Finally, somebody understands! Hmph.
I feel pretty comfortable saying that literally no one knows how to play marbles.
The only way to play marbles is to a) babysit the kids upstairs and then b) leave them fighting each other as they play Frogger while you build one of those giant marble maze things over and over and over again.
I was a champ marble player in Grade 3. It was a weird fad at my school.
Doctor Dodgeball: teaching girls accuracy with projectiles and also that they can be medical professionals!
(Or, if you’re me, the psychological value of getting hit with a dodgeball, writhing on the ground, and shrieking MEDIC! like I’d seen in war movies. Brings the game to an absolutely screeching halt.)
what do you think G.R.O.S.S. stands for it’s right in the title come on
#notalljumpropers
My friends and I started a fake sorority in college and we met every Tuesday to watch Nip/Tuck and the rules were you had to wear sweatpants and the floor was lava. After a few weeks, we had at least 20 women in there, smooshed onto couches, sweatpants galore, and dudes begging to join. Kappa Kappa Phi Beta Triple Gamma 4 Lyfe
I think we’d be great friends.
Oh good, I’m always looking for more friends. Sweatpants are a must, though.
#FakeGreekGirls
I wish I could push the thumb-up button more than once on this.
I was in the Psi Phi club at school, and I started a motion to turn it into a co-ed sorority (because I’m sick of everything being a co-ed fraternity). The motion carried, although I’m not sure there’s still anybody in the organization who cares.
This…sounds like an excuse to cuddle.
I mean, you’re not wrong.
Can I come over?
UGH STOP WITH THESE MISDIRECTING ARTICLES. Can’t we just focus our attention on the real issue–corrupt reporting practices in The Tag Times?
God they’re so hypocritical with how they constantly want to derail!!1!
But guys, it’s about CORRUPT JOURNALISM! And we all know corrupt journalism in the gaming community didn’t exist until Zoe Quinn and Anita Sarkeesian invaded! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!
Huge urge to make “girl Mumblety-peg player” the description on all my online profiles
Look we all know these fake girl jacks players are making up these threats
here’s all their home addresses
The last one is so good.
JAYA THIS IS PERFECT
It’s Simon Says not Sally Says!
More evidence of the feminist plot to destroy gaming and men unveiled
All of this, for fucking ever. <3
My delicate female hands are no match for the rigors of wall ball – clearly men are the superior species.
Women just don’t have the spatial reasoning skills to play foursquare, sorry m’lady.
Girls can’t play jungle pong, their boobs get in the way!!
Shout out to Mumblety-peg, proof that boys have been stupid and flirtatious with injury since time immemorial.
if girls were meant to play jacks they’d be called jills amirite
A level 2 MAN tried to make a fireteam with me in Destiny. I bounded away as he continued to wave forlornly at me. I have level 7 things to do, dude. I am a LONE WOLF.
Actually, I felt pretty bad about it. He just kept waving at me. Damn the patriarchy for making feel guilty about not saddling myself with someone who is just going to drag me down.
let’s just call all basic bros “level 2 MAN”
Approved!
There is so much internalised mahagony going on here!
ROSALYN RUINED CALVINBALL
goddammit, now I’m conflicted
I really am a gaming imposter because I had to look up, like, several of these to know what they even were.
I AM WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS WORLD. I’ll show myself out.
I am madly, passionately in love with this post and everyone in this thread. Please everyone leave your other beloveds and come live with me so I can pet you and call you smart while feeding you morsels of yumminess.
But that was gonna be my plan 🙁
‘sokay, we can share
I feel like at this point Nicole and Mallory should just open a Toast Cafepress shop. Except then we'd all be broke.
I was too busy clutching my pearls and pretending to be a victim of mean Four Square players to understand your helpful article.
Not going to lie, I didn’t actually manage to read the article because I was too busy marveling at the utter perfection of the Zelda screenshot accompanying it.
If we give up Red Rover based on our fears, how will uncoordinated children do flips? Don't they deserve a chance at dangerous, unsupervised gymnastics?
I thought the funnels were for yelling into?
Tumblr makes me feel like An Old, but I have one anyway because I Try Too Hard.
Fake carpet ball player here. Fake GIRL carpet ball player. AND I WON A LOT TOO.
Fake carpet ball player here. Fake GIRL carpet ball player. AND I WON A LOT TOO.
oh god I snorted like 50 times just in the first half of this
I love this so much.
Anyone read Shaenon Garrity’s Perils of the Lady Gamer? Similar take, different setting: http://skin-horse.com/comic/2014-03-23/
That attention wench is just playing hopscotch so she has an excuse to raise her dress up to mid-thigh.
I would like to take this moment, if the reader would lend me his ear, to note that it irks my general senses when a lass claims to enjoy games but can’t name the rank of suits in a gentlemen’s game of Oklahoma Poker. It shall be common knowledge that those hussies are but mere charlatans posing as participants in games of chance and skill.
It's this thing! (I have never played it)
<img src="http://pdplay.com/wp-content/gallery/site-furnishings/funnel-ball.jpg">
Men are just naturally better at some games, like POGs. When I tell women after I flip over a number of their POGS that I raped them, they shouldn’t take it personally, I just mean that I’m dominating them at POGs.
Can I come over?
yes to cafepress or whatever they want. all my dollars. and that would be fine. also, pls elaborate on job. kthksbye.
are you? I like the stuff in your etsy shop (unsure if you subscribe so this could be tooooo laaaaate) but prefer wearable ridiculous things to ridiculous things I would have a hard time explaining to my employer. The F and I postcards would work, but the M would probably not.
"Shitbeard" -such a nuanced and precise word.
As a dude, can I wear a Fake TiddlyWinks Girl shirt? Or is that too far.