1. If you have a “Notes” app, I bet you’ll find you have old shopping lists. I already bought more dishwasher pods! DELETED.
2. When you click on a “contact” link, does it auto-open an email program you don’t even use, instead of Gmail? Stop dicking around and fix that. Look around proudly.
3. Why do you have 48 emails in your Drafts folder? Are a lot of them just because you started typing an address and then forgot? GONE.
4. Maybe it would be fun to re-do your gym playlist and your walking-around playlist and your pacifying-toddler playlist. I mean, have you updated your playlists to reflect Robin Thicke? Or, maybe you could just consciously not add Robin Thicke to your gym playlist, if that’s more your style. Just hit +, imagine adding Robin Thicke, do nothing, then put on some really shiny red lipstick and click on Liz Phair’s “Fuck and Run” instead. It dips at parts, but you can use that for high-intensity interval training.
5. Make your sweaters face the same way in the closet. Make all your shoes face the same way in the closet. Pull the arms of your sweater right-ways-out in the closet. Check the pockets of your sweaters for change. Put all your change into a coin purse. Check the pockets of your sweaters for wadded-up Kleenexes. Put the wadded-up Kleenexes in the trash.
6. You know when you’re looking at a recipe at work, and you can’t remember if you have a 9 inch or a 10 inch cake pan at home? Write down all the cookware you own and save it in an email in your Drafts folder. “Do you have a bundt thing I can borrow?” “LEMME CHECK.”
7. Make a bar cart by supergluing four toy cars to the bottom of a heavy cardboard box. Put gin in that box.
8. Change your Brita filter. Read an article about turning a Brita filter into a reusable activated carbon filter. Throw out your old Brita filter.
9. Buy one of those days-of-the-week pill dispensers and then put your BC and your multi and your fish oil and your D and your calcium and your branch-chain amino acids into it for the next week. Pause and wonder if you are responsible for making super-sharks possible with your heavily-supplemented urine.
10. Go through your RSS subscriptions and remove all healthy living blogs that mention stirring nut butters into oatmeal more than three times a week.
11. Put garam masala on microwave popcorn and eat it.
Are you advocating that I both delete and create more drafts?
I do need to change the Brita filter though.
I got up and started soaking a new Brita filter as soon as I read that one, because that’s the only way it’s going to get done. Recommended!
I am much better about changing my Brita filter than I am about filling the pitcher back up when it gets low.
Take a shower.
remember to eat breakfast.
pack your lunch for work.
#lowbar
#triplettoddlers
I put “Floss” on my daily to-do list because it’s the only way I’ll actually DO IT.
oh my god you make a to-do list EVERY DAY?
I definitely make a to-do list every day. Then I have to cling to it desperately, because if I lost it between leaving work and getting home I’d just stand in the middle of my living room for nine hours, staring vacantly at nothing.
Bear in mind that it consists largely of to-do items like “Floss!”
[Real answer: yes and no! Lately, I’m mostly using the Health Month interface for quotidian to-do stuff like floss and exercise, and making a weekly master list for Actual Things like pick up ILL books and wrap Mom’s birthday present and dentist and finalize world domination plan.]
I love Health Month!
When I was on maternity leave, I had to make a Did Do list – I ate! I brushed my teeth! I emptied the dishwasher! – because my sad, un-checked To Do Lists were making me depressed.
I’ll just leave this here…
Frog And Toad: The List (pt.1)
This is why I wrote the piece! I was reading that story to the Toast Toddler!
Aw, cute! They also have this on audiobook for the older little ‘uns. We’re heavily into the Paddington Bear audiobooks now. A solid 2.5 hours of story time, awesome.
… this is the second time this summer someone’s compared my habits to Frog and Toad, a comparison which I cannot objectively assess because YEAAAAAAAAHHHH FROG AND TOAD 4EVAH!
Nailed it, Nicole. My Challenge Accepted task lists are largely composed of “put comics in the longbox” and “drink 8–no, 6–ok, maybe 4 glasses of water a day” and “jesus h. christ put some new music on your iPod.”
I do need to update my workout playlist but only because I need to put the main titles to Pacific Rim on it. I plan to take it into the gym, get on the elliptical, set the resistance settings up real high, and pretend I’m piloting a Jaeger. This will make it more fun.
Also I just deleted like, everything in my notes app, because I haven’t used it in about a year and nothing in there is relevant anymore. Success!
No joke, pretending I am training for the Jaeger programme is the only thing that gets me up the really tough hills on the cross trainer. 8tracks has some awesome mixes with songs from the soundtrack + other butt-kicking music for motivation. I particularly like this one and this one
Previous “keep going you can do it!” motivations: Pretending I am Sydney Bristow, Pretending I am Buffy Summers, Pretending I am Commander Shepard…
Pretending I am Alanna of Tortall.
I pretend I am Sydney Bristow when working out. You would think that would motivate me more!
Please be a guest contributor to the Burnt (or whatever the name is) workout series! I actually read that comment and was like, “Huh, maybe I do want to go to the gym…”
there should totally be playlists included in feel the burn. I get so bored of my playlists!
Haha I’m not sure the nerdy ways I trick myself into exercising would make a terribly interesting article!
… I’m listening.
Um, yes. Yes they would.
Oh man, you need a gym buddy who can get on the elliptical next to you and do all the same movements as you in unison!
(My favorite part of Pacific Rim was how the pilots looked like they were playing Dance Dance Revolution to make the Jaegers go.)
I updated my “songs I like to hear when I’m drunk” playlist to reflect that there’s a new Pet Shop Boys album and also to reflect my new obsession with this song (Papaoutai by Stromae). I should put them on the workout playlist too.
That is a GREAT idea, holy shit.
LOOK! 😀
YES! I saw that yesterday and PROMPTLY REBLOGGED. So accurate! It’s like the artist was in my brain! …accidental artist drift?
I just checked and I have 121 drafts. 121!
All of them are lists. Recipes to try, wishlists, articles to read, etc. And an intricate ever-evolving daily to-do list outlining every hour (yes I will now erase “breakfast” with pride, thank you very much).
I know from experience that this is not a very safe way to keep all your info tho 🙁
I have 123! It’s about 1/2 lists of random things, 1/4 links that I didn’t want to forget (gifs, articles, quotes, photos…) and 1/4 saved IMs from over five years ago. It’s ALL really, really important though!
I have 171! D:
are you guys kidding? I have 909!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all my unsent emails!
I think at most I neared 300…I bow to you!
I only have 11! I am a little obsessive, I also have no unread e-mails. Occasionally if there is something I really need to do or re-look at I’ll e-mail it to myself or mark it as unread. I had an e-mail in my inbox that said “GET SHOT! Bacterial Meningitis!”
Yeah, the majority of my drafts are recipes. I have no other way to keep track of them!
i send them to myself and tag them as “recipes” – a good gmail trick for this is to send them to [email protected] and then make a filter that archives everything sent to that address directly to your recipes folder, marked as read.
Whoa. Just adding “+[name of filter] to emails to myself will automatically put said email in the correct category? AMAZING.
if you have the filter set up that way, yep!
Today I am smug because I did ten minutes of yoga and did a new stretch to help relax those muscles and tendons behind the knees. I even had a bath and got dressed. I am accomplished.
(I have done no writing today)
edit – I also called people and rescheduled two appointments as I wouldn;t have been able to do them today. I will be agressively proud of this, as when I got up today I immediately wanted to return to bed and proceed to have anxiety attacks for eight hours.
-Clean the surface of one piece of furniture when you get home.
-Confirm two meetings for the future.
-Use your library’s online catalog to confirm that they do, indeed, have a book you’re looking for.
Also, deleting things off your shopping list on your Notes app is amazingly great, considering the amount of effort involved.
putting books i’ve always wanted to read on hold at the library feels so good.
It’s fantastic! I’ve recently rediscovered the wonders of a public library system (not sure why I ever stopped) and just had to stop myself from putting 8 books on hold. Instead, I only have five books on hold.
“Clean one thing” is my newest motto. Just one thing. It could be the tabletop or the bathtub or a pot in the sink or a piece of lingerie or the espresso machine. It could be easy or hard. But it’s just one thing, so that isn’t too much to do right now.
Garam masala on popcorn, this just moved to priority one.
258 drafts. NEVER DELETING
Can we talk about vitamins? What vitamins do people take? Which ones should I be taking? Normally I just take vitamin D and sometimes some C when I’m feeling sniffly.
I’ve got some extra medical needs, but even with those, I just take an iron supplement and a daily multivitamin. (Gummi multivitamin from Target, because OM NOM.) I’m also taking vitamin C right now, but that’s mostly because I accidentally grabbed the wrong bottle in the aisle and I didn’t give enough of a shit to return it.
ETA: That said, my doctor did say most folks don’t get enough Vitamin D, so that sees like a good call!
Ugh, last time I bought vitamins I was holding the gummies and ended up going for the real deal. Huge mistake. I basically gag and/or choke every time I take them because they’re huge, so now I’m scared to do it when I’m home alone. This has resulted in inconsistent vitamin-taking. Not good. Idk how I’m ever going to be pregnant – I’ve seen those prenatal things. Insane.
I am at a loss as to why more (okay, all) medications have not been converted to gummi form. I would never miss a dose of anything ever again if I could have it as a gummi- hell, I’d be counting down the hours to the next dose.
I leave my gummi vitamins in my desk at work, and take them as a post-lunch “treat”.
I just take D because I live in a mostly-grey climate and wear a ton of sunscreen when I leave it.
Same here. Based on some of these comments, maybe I’ll add a multi and see what that does (probably just turn my pee a weird bright colour).
I always forget to take my D supplement, which is a bummer because I also live in a Mostly Grey land. I got these delicious lemon-flavored chewy/gummy ones from the hippie pharmacy; I need to bring them to work and add them to my post-lunch gummy vitamin regimen.
I still take prenatal vitamins, even though I’m no longer prenatal. They do lovely things for my hair and nails. I also take extra vitamin D, since I can’t spend much time in the sun without lobstering up.
Fish or flax oil (depending on how much moolah I want to spend — they are both omega fatty acids).
I’ve also been taking resveratrol, though I feel a little new-agey about it (even though studies support it for anti-aging and anti-cancer). Vitamin D in winter. Apparently your body doesn’t actually process vitamins in pill form all that well, so I’m trying to stick to a good leafy diet instead.
I take vitamin d, fish oil, vitamin c, vitamin b complex, and iron! BUT WHAT IS BRANCH CHAIN AMINO ACIDS???
Delete all healthy living blogs from your reader. They are toxic and most of those bloggers have un-acknowledged eating disorders.
Delete delete delete.
oh man guys I am out of the loop because I read that as all “healthy, living blogs” like…the blogs were still updating and their bloggers were okay
Mallory, my wish for you is that you remain ignorant to the entire messed up world of healthy living blogs. My wish is that you have a happy, fulfilling life without any knowledge of What I Ate Wednesday, intuitive eating, and Chobani yogurt as the universal condiment.
7a) Get in gin cart, drink gin, persuade someone to push you around.
I object to these accomplishments being called “tiny.” I’m not a superwoman, dammit.
Drink more water.
One of my rewards for completing tiny tasks is reading NY Times obits… which I just did and found this great obituary of a mystery writer-Egyptologist named Elizabeth Mertz, except she wrote her fiction under Elizabeth Michaels and Elizabeth Peters. She was also an early/undercover feminist.
This is sort of off-thread-topic, but has anyone read her novels? E.g. the Peabody series? Are they good? I almost want to suggest it for the Toast, as a better/obscure Agatha Christie read (except then I will be adding to lots of people’s to-do lists). But really: anyone already familiar with her? The obit makes her sound wonderful! http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/14/arts/barbara-me…
YES I LOVED THE PEABODY SERIES
..
Ahem. I actually didn’t realized that she passed away recently. 🙁 I think I stopped reading her books some time during college, but I devoured like, the first six twelve (!) or so.. or however long it takes for Ramses to reach adulthood. I’m actually really interested to re-read it now with an understanding of orientalism and colonialism. I think her take on feminism (from what I remember) what pretty second-wave-ish and not terribly big on intersectionality, but it is awesome to read about a lady archeologist who wears pants and kicks ass with her iron parasol.
Also, if anyone remembers my comment about eating & reading: the Peabody books were definitely under the category of “comfort eating/reading”.. preferably with frozen deep dish pizzas.
ah great thank you for the mini-review! I’m going to reserve the first book of her Peabody series at the library right now. and possibly one of her Egypt nonfiction books.
& sorry to startle you with news of her decease. but it sounds like she had a very full life!
You’re very welcome! I really enjoyed the first book. Again, I read most of these in high school, but I always felt like the first one was meant to be a slight send-up of the Victorian travelogue with strong romance novel-ish memoir overtones. I haven’t read too many romance novels though, so I may have made the last one up. But I think her books are really good (and technically correct) on the Egyptology front, which is really fascinating and educational.
YES Peabody 4eva. also She wrote the Brother Cadfael books under the name Ellis Peters, but I never got into those.
ELIZABETH MERTZ/PETERS DIED DO YOU SEE THE DISTRAUGHT FACE I AM MAKING
I mean, yes, her books are quite good and I read lots of them.
These are my kind of accomplishments. Deleting my drafts is always so satisfying, especially since I do it on work time instead of my own time.
I already make all my clothes face the same way in the closet. Right side of the closet is for clean clothes, facing left. Left side is for already-worn-but-can-be-worn-again clothes, facing right. My house is a mess, but I am super organized with certain things for some reason.
This is me, except my clothes all the face the same way AND they are organized by color.
But let us not speak of my bedside table or the top of my dresser.
I used to organize by color, but now I just put the just-cleaned or just-worn clothes in the middle so I can more easily see which clothes I haven’t worn in awhile.
well, that was the push I needed to get some tiny-to-medium accomplishments done! (check my bank balance, clean kitty litter, put cornstarch on oil stain on favourite shirt, make bed, buy cat food). then hopefully I can get some large accomplishments done (go to bank, pay bills, try to sell old textbooks, vacuum, laundry), THEN hopefully the extra-large ones (go shopping for fancy dress for fancy wedding, talk to an academic advisor, finish student loan paperwork, make a monthly spending spreadsheet and finally enter the pile of receipts, buy bday present for partner, plan bday celebration for partner.)
oh lordy, it looks like a lot all typed out like that, especially because it’s all for this week. tea first!
12. Buy cornstarch and try to remove oil stains from jerk burritos on all favorite dresses.
try dish soap!
I need to add “write article on how to use Evernote to rule your life” to my Remember the Milk app.
Also, automate your bills and shopping as much as possible. Never having to cart a 40lb bag of dog food home in the pouring rain is amazing.
I have been faced with a truly appalling and seemingly insurmountable pile of laundry for the last two months. Yesterday I decided, you know what, fuck it, and I sent it out to the laundry service to be washed and folded. $25 for the ability to no longer be overwhelmed on a molecular level by my laundry is worth it.
I’m hopeful that once it comes back and is all nice and folded and put away I can get back in the swing of doing my laundry BEFORE it reaches K2-level heights in my closet.
My, um, “strategy” for laundry is to not have enough underwear to last more than two weeks, so then I have to at least wash those, and then since it costs me $1.50 a load, I just throw everything else in there too (the other part of my strategy is not owning anything white, so I don’t have to worry about putting whites in with colors).
You know what is astronomically pathetic about me? I have a washer and dryer. In my kitchen. But I developed some sort of terrible pathology where I couldn’t even begin to face the laundry hamper.
Oh, I never separate my shit out. It all goes in together. I figure that’s why God gave us colorsafe Tide detergent and OxiClean.
I think you’re A GENIUS for sending out the laundry, washer/dryer or no. Twenty-five bucks to get it done and off your mind? That’s a bargain.
I like doing laundry (or at least it’s my least-hated chore) but also never separate anything.
I am buckling down and doing all my laundry today, but I have dry cleaning from the WINTER to have done, and I still haven’t found a dry cleaner in my new(ish) neighbourhood that doesn’t have awful, terrifying Yelp reviews. Surely someone around here is competent? How do people find good dry cleaners?
oh god, DRY CLEANING. I have some dresses that I wore in JANUARY that are still waiting in a sad little heap to go to the dry cleaner.
I don’t know how people find dry cleaners! That is a terrifying thing to contemplate.
This is how I feel about tailors! FIND ME A TAILOR IN DENVER, PLEASE.
OH! I know another thing I need to do! My church is having a rummage sale soon and I have two complete bedding sets (shams, the works) that are in excellent condition and would be a really good contribution.
But first I would have to get them out of the closet, wash them, fold them neatly, get them into my car, take them to the parish hall, and remember to get them out.
That seems impossible.
That closet thing seems like a major accomplishment to me, since I would first have to hang up sweaters instead of leaving them in a pile in the corner and then fetch all my shoes from around the various doors in my house.
I do have a mysterious iPhone note that says “Danny Baker. Not in the Face.” So I guess I’ll try to figure out what THAT means.
GAHHHH! Those healthy-living blogs!
*GO TO BED (still has not really happened)
I just make stuff in water size cake pan is around. SIZES BE DAMNED!! Clearly, I am a rebel.
STILL HAVEN’T HAD A PROPER SLEEP! WOO!!!
But my drafts folder is where I save all my burning, rage-emails that I know are better left unsent because of the High Road but are immensely satisfying to type out, and then I want to remember all those insults for later use.
ALSO don’t hang your sweaters– it stretches out the shoulders– you should fold them. Wrap them in tissue paper and place them gently on a cedar shelf, if you want to be a real dick about it.
I didn’t know this. Would this hold true for dresses of a stretchy material as well?
Most dresses come with those clear plastic or fabric strap-loop things sewn into them (what are those called?!?) and you’re supposed to use those on the hanger to help the dress keep its shape.
Finally hand-wash the hand-wash pile (hahahahaha). Put away that tupperware of hardware bits that has been sitting on my windowsill for two months. Pay the electric bill, oops. Forward my one old email address to my current one. Do a second coat of nail polish. Make a doctor’s appointment. OR, get home, collapse on the couch and watch My Fair Wedding for two hours, go to the gym, and then decide it’s practically bedtime when I get home and too late to do anything, as per usual.
7. Make a bar cart by supergluing four toy cars to the bottom of a heavy cardboard box. Put gin in that box.
7a. Write “Buy 4 toy cars” on a post it and put on your screen at work.
7b. Check your bank balance. You have -$1.58 in your account.
7c. Throw away post it. Sigh heavily. See if you have enough change in wallet to buy popcorn for lunch. Realize you spent it all whooping some 20-something kid’s ass in pool all night last night.
7d. Cheer up when you remember that he paid for all your drinks.
7e. Snicker when you remember that he had to leave because he has a *final* tomorrow and you didn’t realize that he meant *final exam* and oh god you were messing with some kid who is AT LEAST 10 years younger than you and oh god you are a cougar.
7f. Decide that you are fine with being a cougar. WHATEVER.
Instead of fake-adding Robin Thicke to your playlist, you can also add the gender-flipped version of “Blurred Lines” (all the catchy beats with none of the misogyny), as I have just discovered it is available to download for free! Praise!
http://www.modcarousel.com/listen/
Or if you like half-naked boys in heels/bossy ladies in suits, you can just watch their video over and over.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKfwCjgiodg
Personal mantra: “it’s the little things”
Going through my Tumblr “Likes” and watching all those videos, or just unliking things I’m not sure why I liked in the first place.
The best thing I accomplished this week was discovering KanbanFlow, which helps you organize your workflow at work. Just to repeat myself: the best thing I accomplished on my to-do list was making a better to-do list. I am a little too excited about checking off accomplishments.
Also I’ve totally talked about it here before but I use this thing called Lift to develop better daily habits and it’s awesome. It’s perfect for stuff that falls under the category of “being a responsible adult” or whatever. This is the only thing that has gotten me to floss! Oh wait no it was “losing dental insurance” but still!
Also, Nicole, these are the best lists and I would like one every single week. The fixing-your-email thing!!!!
Do any of ya’ll watch the UK show “Miranda”? This reminded me of Stevie (see clip here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idNNIUUg5NE)
Have you talked to your good friend, Heather Small today?
How do you all have so many drafts?! I have zero. If I had even one, I’m not sure I’d be able to sleep at night. Although when I put it that way, I sound like the crazy one. So. Hmmm.
*Throw away the headless donkey pinata left over from your mom’s Cinco de Mayo party, which has been sitting on and around your dining table for three months.
CHECK!
*Throw away the headless donkey pinata left over from your mom's Cinco de Mayo party, which has been sitting on and around your dining table for three months.
CHECK!
YES! I saw that yesterday and PROMPTLY REBLOGGED. So accurate! It's like the artist was in my brain! …accidental artist drift?